Title: No Age Limit

Author: A.D.

[ glitterjungle@squidge.org ]

Fandom: Smallville/Labyrinth

Pairing: Clark/Lex, Jareth/Lionel

Rating: PG. I'm *so* sorry.

Disclaimer: Nothing here is mine. But the Labyrinth changed my life.

Summary: Lionel is annoying. I wish the goblins... and so on.

Feedback: Authors are like pets - if you don't feed them, they will wither and die. Or they'll start eating out of garbage cans, and possibly hunt small birds and the such. Offlist, please

Archive: Ask nicely

Note: This won't mean anything if you don't know the Labyrinth.

No Age Limit
by A.D
-=-=-=-=-

"He's *annoying*." Lex gritted his teeth. The fight with his father was more irritating than usual today.

Clark nodded and offered all the sympathy he could, which really wasn't much at the moment, what with Lionel in the next room. A hand on Lex's shoulder and a smile were all he had.

"Sometimes I just wish... I wish..."

-=-=-=-=-

Lionel opened his eyes and looked around him.

Filth, muck, half-eaten bones, a black chicken... two weird looking greenish brown creatures staring at him, and another one who tried to poke him with a stick.

"Yuck." He said emphatically.

-=-=-=-=-

"What the hell was that?!" They both jumped when the lightning struck and thunder was heard from the next room.

When they ran inside, it was empty.

"Where's my dad?" Lex looked around, trying to look busy instead of frightened. Clark scanned the room, but found nothing.

-=-=-=-=-

Lionel stood up and noticed an odd looking man sitting on a throne and grinning.

"Well, well." The man looked him up and down, and Lionel almost shivered, which is something he hadn't done in years. "You're a bit older than the usual incoming deliveries." His grin was maddening.

"Where am I?" Lionel demanded to know.

"Be with you in a second. I need to talk to your son." And with that the man just vanished into thin air.

Lionel sighed. "What did Lex do now?"

-=-=-=-=-

"You're him, aren't you? You're the goblin king."

Lex looked at the smirking man in front of him and wondered how his dad will get along with this guy.

"I want my father back." He said as sternly as possible.

The man raised an eyebrow. "Do you?"

Lex had to stop and think about it. "Not so much, but, well. Yes. He needs to come back here."

"What said is said." The man crossed his arms.

"We didn't sign a contract or even shake hands," Lex hurried to point out.

-=-=-=-=-

"Well?" When Jareth returned to his castle, Lionel was sitting on the throne, tapping his foot. He wasn't good at waiting for others.

"Your son has thirteen hours to come and pick you up, or else you stay here forever." The man walked towards him. "Oh, and by the way?" He sat in Lionel's lap and surprised the hell out of him. "That's my chair."

-=-=-=-=-

Clark and Lex looked around. Weird, orange-tinted sky. Unfamiliar landscape. A hugeass maze right ahead.

"Now what?" Clark said.

Lex sighed. "I can't believe I'm doing this for my dad." He smiled at his friend. "Well, come on, Clark."

-=-=-=-=-

"I don't quite follow you." Lionel said it into Jareth's ear since the man was still in his lap, practically wriggling.

"It's simple," the goblin king made himself comfortable. "You actually made someone so fed up that they wished you'd go away, and meant it enough for me to acknowledge it."

Lionel tried not to groan when a perfectly shaped ass in nothing but tights rubbed on his crotch.

"So I took you here. Now, if they want you back, they'll have to come look for you."

"I see." Lionel wasn't at all sure his son would bother.

Jareth wiggled some more.

-=-=-=-=-

"Don't go that way!"

Clark and Lex stopped and looked back.

"*Never* go *that* way!" The little worm said, frightened.

Clark turned to check the other direction, found the passageway in the wall and went through it, saying "Thank you!".

Lex grabbed the back of his shirt and pulled him back.

"Why?" He asked the worm.

"*That* way goes straight to the castle!" Said the worm warningly.

"Thanks." Lex said and dragged Clark down that way.

-=-=-=-=-

"Do you usually do this with the people who arrive here?" Lionel was surprised at first at the sharp contrast between the filthy hall he saw before and this spotless, marvellous, majestic bedroom, with its giant canopy bed, the velvet all around and the marble floor.

"They're usually," Jareth stopped to lick the chest he was slowly exposing, unbuttoning Lionel's shirt, "not quite as interesting as you."

-=-=-=-=-

Lex and Clark burst into the castle's main hall, looking frantically for Lionel. No one stopped them, since the town was not at all ready for them to arrive and Jareth was far too busy to be looking at any... um, crystal balls, at any rate.

"Where are they?"

Clark used his special powers to look through walls. Everywhere were small, deformed skeletons, but eventually he located two human-looking ones. On top of each other.

"I think they're fighting!" He yelled. "Over there!"

He ran in that direction, dragging Lex behind him. They nearly got lost in the maze of halls and rooms, until Clark got tired of it and just broke through some walls.

-=-=-=-=-

"Um, Lex?" Clark took a step back. "Maybe we'll just go someplace, leave your dad alone? Come back in thirteen hours. They should be done by then."

-=-=-=-=-

The Sadly Smutless End

-=-=-=-=-