Title: You Are Kidding, Right?

Author/pseudonym: juls Lake Heath

Fandom: Lost in Space

Pairing: none

Rating: PG <only implied sex. Sorry guys. >

Status: New

Archive: Yes, please

E-mail address for feedback: juls@texas.net

Series/Sequel: none planned

Other websites: http://oregondonors.simplenet.com/juls/index.html

Disclaimers: see end of story <don’t want to give anything away>

Notes: Don’t take this one TOOO seriously. FYI: The Vault, by Gene DeWeese, is the most recent Lost in Space novel approved by New Line Cinema, wherein Dr. Smith attains some unusual psychic abilities and tries to run ramrod over the J2 crew. That's really all you need to know to read this story. <Although it's a great book that I highly recommend.>

Summary: the Jupiter II eventually makes it back to Earth -- but not under circumstances anyone could have anticipated or believed possible.

Warnings: for violence

You Are Kidding, Right?

by Juls Lake Heath

"William, I'm quite sure that's your mother I hear calling," Smith said, trying to appear as sincere as possible. After all, William was bright and difficult to deceive.

"I didn’t hear anything." Will sounded almost bored. He knew Smith too well to take much he said to heart.

"Well, I did. Don’t say I didn’t warn you."

Will rolled his eyes. Why did he always have to throw in something like that, just enough to make you doubt what you were already sure of?

"If she really is calling, it might be important," Will finally decided. "I'll be back in a little bit."

As he disappeared through the glade, Smith muttered, "Thanks for the warning. However, I shall not be here!"

It had taken him over an hour to shake the over-curious child, who always seemed to know when he was up to something and tagged along to interfere. He would barely have enough time, now! If he returned too late, they would become suspicious, and that was the last thing he wanted. After he was sure William wasn't watching him from near-by, he started off in the direction he'd been headed when snagged by the boy, who'd insisted on accompanying him.

He'd seen it two days before while they'd been hiking together and had been trying to get back ever since. Recognizing the material at once, he led the boy the other way, before he's had a chance to spot it, as well. He'd started to think he'd never return without the child, who would certainly tell his parents about this!

Zachary looked at the cubical up close for the first time. It was! It was a singular version of the vault system they had previously encountered. The Robinsons had ripped his powers away from him once, but he would not allow it to happen a second time! His mistake had been letting them learn about his abilities too soon, before he'd become fully adept in their use. This time, no one would know a thing until he was well beyond controlling. And he would destroy the device immediately afterward, so no one else could use it to oppose him.

He took a deep breath. Not for one second had he forgotten what being in that cell was like. He sworn that nothing -- NOTHING -- would ever make him repeat the experience! Now here he was again, about to step inside. He grabbed the familiar handle and went in before he backed out, shutting the door behind him.

He observed the same blank white slate of walls, floor and ceiling; the same horribly bulging surface the moments it detected his presence…but it was not the same being that emerged at all! A brief surge of panic was all he had time for. He was quickly submersed in blackness darker than any space he'd ever seen. Something that looked like a patch of magnifying glass moved black across black towards him. He was finally able to scream when it touched him. He was infused with a permeating cold that elicited uncontrollable shivers on contact. It covered him like amoebae, enclosing him the same way the translucent being had in the other device.

He continued shrieking until it had enveloped his mouth with silence. At that instant, it felt like bees were stinging him all over his body. His panic grew to hysteria when he realized what was happening. Whatever had him, it was quickly draining his blood and he was growing weaker by the second. His heart started pounding faster in an attempt to circulate blood from a rapidly diminishing supply, his lungs were heaving as they tried to oxygenate his system. He kept reminding himself that this was all an illusion and he wasn't really dying, but it did little to help. The external blackness was rapidly joined by an internal darkness, and after a last gasp for breath, his heart made a final beat and then stopped, too. Brain activity carried on for…he supposed, about five minutes of eternity. He experienced every phase of death, just as he remembered it from the other thousands of times he'd 'died' in this machine, before his mental processes were finally extinguished.

The room returned to its normal, inactive state and left Zachary Smith lying dead on the floor.

********

He woke up with a scream rising in his throat, then bolted upright and started frantically patting down his body. He was trembling all over, but found himself to be otherwise in tact. He glanced around the stark white room and mounted shaky feet as soon as he was able to stand. The door opened on his stumbling approach and he ran outside.

Once a considerable distance away, he stopped and turned around to look at the hellish device. This one obviously wasn't functioning right. He'd experienced death only once and felt no refined telepathic or telekinetic abilities what so ever. He held out his hands and they were still shaking. They looked pale in the moonlight.

Realizing that it was now dark, he glanced at his watch. Well, that was odd. He'd been in there much longer than the few hours William claimed were necessary to 'complete the course'. It was the middle of the night, yet he'd only endured the single death.

I was lucky to have escaped with my life! he thought, considering what a malfunctioning vault could be capable of. He decided to leave it be and never make mention of it to anyone. Then, if it were indeed discovered, they would destroy it and that would be that.

Considering the incident closed, he headed back for the Jupiter, prepared with the excuse that he'd fallen asleep and just arisen. It wouldn’t be the first time so it wouldn’t be a hard sell. As he neared the ship, he heard his name being called. The walk back had tired him and it wasn't terribly far, but as weak as he felt, he was amazed that he wasn't winded.

"William, here I am, dear boy."

William ran up to him, a big grin spreading across his face as he came into view. "Dr. Smith! We've been worried about you! You were gone for hours!"

"I'm sorry, I fell asleep." He stretched and felt various aches in his body. "I just now woke up."

"But where were you? We looked everywhere!"

"Not far from where we parted."

"We searched that entire area." Will skeptically studied his face. "We searched every area!"

"Why didn’t you just run a life scan if you were so concerned?" He rolled eyes. It wasn't as if they might truly be worried about him!

"Don't you think we did that? You weren't showing up anywhere within a hundred an' fifty kilometer range!"

Smith frowned. Even though he wasn't where they thought he was, he should have shown up on the scan. "Perhaps there was something in my vicinity that was interfering with the readings."

"Like what?"

"Well, how should I know!" he snapped, starting to get irritated with all the questions. "Don’t you think we ought to tell the others I'm back?"

"Yeah, come on." Will looked the doctor over once again before running off ahead of him to deliver the news. Smith followed at a slower rate.

West and Judy met him outside.

"What happened to you? You look like hell!"

He glared at West. "Why thank you, Major. I feel compelled to return the compliment."

"No -- really. You don’t look so good, Doc."

"He's right, Dr. Smith," Judy nodded. She put a hand to his forehead, then his face. She frowned severely. "You're cold!"

"I just woke up. The night was quite chill. Brrr!" He shivered a bit and gathered his arms around him. If you can't hide it, play it up.

"I mean, you're really cold! I think you should go to sick bay and--"

"Nonsense! I never felt better!" he lied. Actually, he didn’t feel well at all.

When Don attempted to touch his forehead he shied away. "If you don’t mind!" he objected indignantly.

"Where were you?" Judy was still frowning.

"I've already been through that with William."

"Dr. Smith! Where have you been?" John asked as he descended the gangplank.

Smith rolled his eyes again. Was he going to get the third degree from every single one of them? Was there not even any variety to the questions?

"Asleep, by the river, just woke up, sorry I worried you." His words were rushed and his voice was flat. He sounded as bored and disgusted with it all as ever. His face was completely insincere. Perfect!

"We were beginning to think you'd been abducted by a UFO." Penny was walking up from the stern of the ship with her mother, where they must have been searching for him.

"Well here I am," he said as he broke into a sarcastic smile.

"I still can't figure out why you didn’t show up on the life scans," William continued to pry, hopping along next to Penny.

"Like I said, local interference was probably responsible."

"Then I wonder why you didn't show up on your way back? I was monitoring when you returned. Only Will's life sign's were coming through. He showed up as being alone."

"How odd." He was at a loss for explanations, but he had a ready excuse. "I would check the system if I were you."

To John's sharp nod of agreement, Don said, "I'm on it," and sprinted into the ship.

"I'll join you shortly," John called after him. He looked back at Smith. "You don’t look well."

"I'm fine." His statement was one of exaggerated tolerance.

"You ought to have Judy check you out."

"I'll do that, should it become necessary. I predict a good meal and a hot bath and I'll be fine."

"I thought you said you were fine," Will pointed out.

Smith glared at him. "I am. I'm just not fully awake yet. And I'm hungry. Now if you'll all excuse me." He looked around the remaining gathering of Robinsons. When no one objected, he hurried in the ship and disappeared into his quarters.

The door shut and he collapsed against it. He did feel bad! He put a wrist to his forehead to see if he had a fever and was stunned by how cold it was. He was probably in shock from the whole nasty experience, he decided. The thought of a hot shower and eating were appealing, but he was so tired that he never made it past the bed. Everything else could wait.

Though weak, he simply wasn't sleepy. Unable to doze off, he put in a visit to the galley after his bath. Rummaging through the supplies for a moment, he finally found something he thought he could eat. He nibbled slowly and it seemed particularly tasteless -- even for the Jupiter's lacking menu. It did nothing to alleviate his hunger and had the unpleasant after-effect of sitting in his stomach like lead. He sneered at the last few bites and threw the lot away, then headed back to the relative safety of his room before someone corralled him with more questions.

He barely made it back to his quarters before the onset of nausea and was throwing up a few minutes later. Spasms wracked his stomach and he felt like he'd eaten poisoned food. It was nearly dawn when he finally fell into his bed, still fully clothed. The nausea and hunger kept him rolling around the bunk in misery. Finally, he closed his eyes and slept as the first rays of sunlight touched the ship.

*********

Smith awoke feeling worse than when he'd gone to bed. It seemed as if the planet's gravity had a personal vendetta against his every movement. He wondered if he might be coming down with a virus, but his inner instincts told him that it was something else, something directly related to the experience with that damnable contraption. He would try to sneak into sick bay some time while Judith was away, to see what he could learn. He certainly couldn't expose his most recent scheme in any way. They were still overly touchy about that little incident.

He swung his legs over the side of the bed and plodded foot in front of foot until he made it to the door. Working for every step, he couldn't remember a time when he'd felt worse. His muscles had started aching from the bones outward. In contrast to all the effort he had to put out, his face remained cold and he never felt out of breath.

He turned a corner and came up behind Penny. That wretched pet of hers was riding her shoulder like a Sultan and spun around to look at him the moment he fell in step behind them. It shrieked in utter terror. Instead of blending in with Penny's coloring and clinging to her as it normally did when frightened, it leapt from her shoulder and went screaming down the hallway.

Penny spun to see him behind her and stared him down with icy eyes.

"What did you do to her?" she demanded.

Smith, startled by the incident, sputtered, "Why, not a thing."

"Yeah, right, Pollyanna!" She stuck a finger out at him. "If I find one mark on her…" …well, she didn’t know what…but she'd do something! Deciding further warning wasn't worth her time, she scurried off after Blawp to make sure she was all right.

Smith stared after them for a moment, then continued to the galley. Having lost his dinner, he was famished. Surely he would feel better after eating.

"Well, Lazarus has risen," Don said to him as he walked through the door.

"I appreciate your enthusiasm, but I only slept an hour or so," he scowled.

West smirked towards the port. "Smith, it's not 07:00, it's 19:00. That's a sunset, not a sunrise."

It was twilight outside. Once again, this made no sense. He couldn't have slept very long. He never dreamed, didn’t feel rested in the least, he had awakened in the same position he'd dozed off in…that much time simply could not have passed! Then he considered how the vault effected time passage and decided that had to be what was responsible.

Smith blazed him with an acid scowl. "Thank you, Major, and I wouldn’t advise standing still too long at a time while outside. You might be mistaken for a sundial."

Trying to ignore him further, he went to the food repository. Once again, nothing looked appetizing. Even with the additional indigenous items, everything looked thoroughly disgusting. How he hated it here and wished they could return to Earth! he lamented again. He finally made a selection, looked at West's back and decided he would dine elsewhere.

The bridge sounded crowded, so he passed it by and diverted his course outdoors. He simply couldn't bare seeing any of those people right now, putting up with all their posing, prying prattles!

"Ahhh, that's what I needed! Some fresh air!" He seemed to feel better with his first breath of evening's breeze. He inhaled deeply a few times and walked several yards away from the ship to stare at the stars. His mind always tried to play tricks on him, to make him think he'd spotted a familiar combination amongst the constellations, as if he could decipher their position more accurately than the computer. He knew better, of course, but he always felt that mild rush of hope when he saw the night sky.

Tonight, however, he felt more like a willow in a breeze than a leaf in the wind. Shaking his head at the metaphoric and somewhat romantic notion, he chose a rock and sat down to eat. He gave up half way through the ration bar and opted instead to chew a few native twigs high in several essential minerals.

Just as on the previous night, every bite he ate weighed uncomfortably in his stomach, heavy and nauseating. A few minutes later he was crouched by the rock, retching. He was holding his ribs long after the small amount of food had been expelled with painful dry heaves. The agony seemed to stretch into his bones and joints, leaving them aching and stiff. He climbed back onto the flat rock and rested his head against the warm surface, trying to re-gather himself enough to make it back to the ship.

Before he could get to his feet, of course, Judy had hunted him down. Just as William was a magnet to trouble, it was the same with his sister where health issues were concerned. She walked out to him as if summoned by his condition, her face already lined with worry.

"Zach, are you all right? My God, you look terrible!"

"I think those ration bars have gone bad. This is the second time I've eaten one and become ill." There was no covering his state so he hit her over the head with the truth.

"We've all been eating the bars and feel just fine."

"Well, I have a delicate constitution. I can detect the slightest hint of salmonella. I advise care."

"I advise you to let me check you out. This could be serious."

He censored his reply when his temper flared at her meddling inquiries. "And I shall. But for now, I should like to lie down for a while." He looked towards the ship.

She crossed her arms like she was going to give him a hard time, but then her look softened and she said, "Well, I guess it can wait until morning. May I walk you in?"

He considered her offer. It might be easier with her to run interference for him. "Thank you, my dear. You are most kind."

He thought he'd made it when, at the last moment, that annoying girl spotted him. The fitful creature in her arms took one look in his direction and headed the opposite way, squealing until it disappeared. Penny glared at him again.

"That's exactly what happened last time!" he objected. "I never touched it!"

Her body almost trembling with rage. "You suck!" she said before she stormed off after Blawp.

"You two having problems again?"

"No, no. I just seem to have offended that mutinous anthropoid in some manner. I haven’t a clue as to how, nor does it matter to me in the slightest." He shrugged with dismissal. He didn’t care what Penny, much less that creature, thought about him. He just wanted to lie down and stop feeling like this!

It took all his will power not to sag into her for support, but that would have guaranteed him an immediate trip to sick bay. He had to see what would turn up first. Surprises had too often been his downfall.

"I'll see you tomorrow, right?" she asked at his door.

He knew what she meant and nodded silently. Promise her anything and back out later. That would give him hours to come up with an excuse or more information to go on. "Good night, Judith."

"Good night, Dr. Smith."

He made a face at the horrid taste in his mouth as soon as the door closed between them. When he took a sip of water, he discovered no matter how hard he tried, he could not swallow. So he swished it around and spit it out.

"That was…peculiar!" He felt of his esophagus but could detect no abnormalities. He started to take a look at his throat in the mirror but was simply too fatigued. He went for his bed instead.

Though sick and exhausted, he couldn’t sleep. He tossed and turned restlessly until he sat up, ready to jump out of his skin. He decided to take a walk around the ship -- or his case, a lurk. A good lurk about the premises always relieved his tension.

He had to do something about this! There was no way he could continue hiding such extreme conditions from the others, particularly Judith. She would be the bane of his existence until she had answers! Her busybody medical inquiries would surely turn up something to link him to recent use of that machine. He just couldn't let that happen! Don had been especially insistent on added security, in lieu of his immediate execution, the last time.

He aimlessly poked his nose into anything he thought might be of interest. He was still contemplating the problem when he saw Judy. She was headed towards him in her pajamas. She looked somewhat…blank, almost like she was sleepwalking.

"Is something wrong?" he asked cautiously, careful not to startle her if that were the case.

"I…don’t know. I woke up and felt like I should check on you. You weren't in your quarters so I came here." She rubbed at her eyes. It was obvious she'd been asleep mere moments earlier.

"I'm fine, my dear. But thank you."

She looked at him. "You don’t look fine, Zach." She put her hand to his forehead. It was still cold. She ran it across his face and down his neck. Cold, no matter where she touched, uniformly cold. "I don’t think you’re well at all, Dr. Smith."

He glared at her as a rush of anger boiled inside. He couldn’t exactly explain it, either. It seemed much too severe for no more than she'd said. He swallowed and caught her hand, removing it from his face. She looked at his hand's tight grip on her arm. Cold…so cold. His eyes captured her when she looked back. Dark and turbulent, they almost seemed to crackle with hidden energy.

"Judith, go back to bed. There's nothing I need from you!" Her mouth fell slightly ajar for a moment, then she silently turned and walked back the way she'd come.

He blinked. She is acting extremely bizarre, he thought.

Before he had time to pursue her behavior, he was nearly floored by hunger pains. He hurried to the galley and made a selection, then accusation darkening his features. The only thing worse than the hunger he was currently feeling was the memory of what the last two meals had done to him. He threw it on the table and sat down. He continued to stare at it. It loomed on the table in front of him, threatening him with the promise of agony. He touched it with a finger. It felt lifeless and inert, about as far removed from real food as one could possible get and remain still edible. Apparently it had now crossed that line.

He had no idea how long he must have stared at the obnoxious morsels, but he hadn't managed to even crack the wrapper when Major West appeared at the door with a coffee cup and sleepy eyes.

His nose wrinkled and he stopped at the threshold. "What the hell is that smell?"

"Probably this." Smith's scowl was focused on the table.

"Well, whatever it is, I sure wouldn’t be eating it!" Don came in and held his cup under the dispenser.

"For once, you’re right." He tossed it back into a provision box and stalked out the door. He sighed heavily and decided to return to his quarters. He still felt like hell, but at least he was starting to get sleepy. Cussing the damned alien machine all the way to his cabin, he managing to undress before crawling into bed.

He closed his eyes and went to sleep as the sun crested the horizon.

********

"Dr Smith! Dr. Smith! Please wake up!" A slit in his lids revealed Judy, a tear half-formed in one eye. She was shaking him. "Zach! I've been trying to wake you for fifteen minutes!"

He was suddenly outraged by her intrusion. Red closed around her like a picture frame. His hand darted to her throat, grabbing her and threatening to close. "Leave me alone! You will cease prying into my personal matters! Do you understand me?" he hissed.

His eyes flared red, pupils suddenly filling the corona. She started to say something, then looked as if she forget what it was. He released her and she wordlessly rose, leaving his room.

"Uncanny…" he thought as he fell back asleep.

*********

He felt too ill to consider leaving his quarters when he woke up. He was starving, but much too afraid of anything loosely termed food to consider eating. The taste in his mouth and on his breath was enough to turn his stomach and impossible to eliminate. Weakness prevented him from moving across the room, yet he was charged with an inner tension that might rip him apart at any moment. He shook with spasms every time he tried to move. Had he been able to make it to sick bay he would have asked Judy to help him, regardless of the consequences.

He was still wallowing in his private torture chamber when the door started buzzing. He decided to ignore it, and maybe whoever it was would simply go away. It buzzed a few more times before Penny burst into his cabin.

"I wanna talk to you!" she announced. "I want you to know, I can't even get Blawp to come past your door…and what is that smell?! Jeez!"

Smith, his weakness completely behind him with the onset of barely controllable anger, bounded off his bed and rushed at her fast enough to make her gasp. He caught himself and checked the attack. She recovered quickly, standing her ground.

"I want to know what you did to her!"

Smith clenched his fists and shook with rage, trying to keep from…

His mouth went slack as he realized he was having fantasies, bordering on hallucinations, about ripping her irritating little head from her shoulders. As much as he disliked her, and would never hesitate to use her at any given opportunity, he had never considered hurting her for the sheer sake of…inflicting pain. But now that it had pierced his brain with such avid clarity, it was hard to think of anything else. He could rip off her tongue, then gouge out her eyes, then stick nice pointed objects through her ear drums…

He shook his head, trying to break away from whatever new and grizzly thoughts might follow those original images, but still they kept flowing through his mind. He closed his eyes, her voice becoming no more than unintelligible cackling in the background as she continued to verbally tear into him. Using every ounce of self-control he could muster, he finally got a hold on his anger and opened his eyes. The first thing he saw was that finger, wagging in his face.

"Ow! You son of a bitch! You bit me!"

His hand flew to his mouth in stunned surprise. "Oh my…I'm…I'm so sorry." She looked from him to her finger and then back again, holding it with her other hand. He saw blood start dripping down her arms.

"You are so dead!" she shrieked.

"My dear, let me look at it…I can't imagine what came over me!"

"Not on your life! You stay away from me!" She started to back away, but before she could, his hand lashed out and grabbed her wrist, pulling it and her closer. She tried to break free but his grip was like steel around her arm. He stared at her finger, laid open and dripping. He opened his mouth to apologize again and before he consciously realized what he was doing, her finger was in his mouth and he was veraciously swallowing the oozing liquid.

Penny fought him like a spinning wildcat. He backhanded her without warning and she dropped to the floor. Instead of leaving her there, he picked her up by the arms and she dangled limply.

"Penny, I'm so sorry." He held the child in a rueful embrace while she came to her senses and started trying to escape again, his hand masking her screams. The cut on her lip dripped down her cheek and onto her neck. He salivated at the sight of the crimson trail. Grabbing her by the hair, he hypnotically lowered his lips to that beckoning fluid.

He was never aware when unusually sharp teeth penetrated her neck, renewing the source of the tepid flow. He swallowed until she abruptly stopped struggling. When Penny sagged in his arms, it alarmed him enough to stop. He saw the additional punctures on her neck and wondered if he'd killed her. He took her pulse and found it weak but steady. She should be all right, he thought, his face flushing in guilt. He laid her to the ground and backed away.

Then he realized that, for the first time in three days, he felt better. He wasn't hungry anymore -- or least not starving -- and felt completely revitalized. The over-powering rancid taste he'd been trying to quell from his mouth had dissipated, too. While relieved from the symptoms he'd been suffering through, the combination of events since he'd emerged from that cell impacted him with the most improbable of notions. His throat tightened in response.

His gaze returned to Penny, unconscious on the floor. A hand covered his mouth to block his own cries. Several minutes later, his eyes widened above his hand when he realized he hadn't been breathing…and he wasn't gasping, as he should have been. In fact, it didn’t seem to have mattered at all.

"That can't be…" he muttered.

He slowly stumbled across the room into the dressing alcove by the sink and went to the mirror to see if his face looked as pale as his hands. He braced himself on locked arms, mouth agape as he tried to comprehend what he saw there. He stared in disbelief until his arms turned to rubber and he slumped across the counter, slithering to the floor.

His head was spinning. He'd fainted, he realized as he slowly sat up.

"What…what could it mean?" he asked in a small voice. He found his own arms wrapped around him, rocking himself in a desperate embrace. Opening squinted eyes and finding his feet, he looked back into the mirror. He held his hand up to it. Only the empty room behind him and the counter in front of him were being reflected. Everything was quite distinct in the glass -- except him. He was completely transparent, as if he wasn't present. There was not so much as a ripple of outline!

Smith sagged back down to the floor and sat there, quite numb, until a thought occurred to him. He put his hand to his throat and found nothing there but deathly stillness; to his chest -- no beat; to his wrist --- no pulse.

"Oh no…I'm… …dead…" His hand…so cold. "Nooo…" he wailed, just before breaking into full sobs. It was the only possibility! No heartbeat -- that could only mean he was dead. But it wasn't death, because he was alive…wasn't he?

Thoughts were twisting in his brain like a tornado streaking through, leaving devastation in their path. It was necessary to destroy every preconception he'd ever had and come up with an entirely new set of criteria that allowed him to still be walking. He looked back over at Penny. He could see she was breathing, still alive. He had to do something to help her! No -- he couldn't! He could never explain her condition to the others!

Judy…he had to do something about her, too! She would ruin everything! If they found out…what? What would they do? Drive a stake through his heart? They'd already backed out of dooming him to many far less gruesome demises. They'd never be able to do anything that barbaric! Except…this was a child…

…but they would never believe it! He didn't believe it…and it had happened to him! The idea would never cross their minds…

Once the decision was made, he quickly took off his nightclothes and redressed. Taking the bloody pajamas with him to dispose of, he tidied up as much as a few moments would allow.

He poked his head out the door and the hallway was empty. Scooping up her lax body, he could only hope that he wouldn't be caught en route to sickbay. It was just a short ways… He started trying to recall cloudy memories from childhood as he fled, and wondered if the legends had as much base in fact as what he already knew to be true.

Judy jumped up when she saw Penny unconscious in Zach's arms.

"What happened?" Smith was placing her on the biobed and Judy edged him out of the way so she could attend her sister.

"I don’t know. I found her like this," he said, believable panic tingeing his voice.

Apparently buying his story for the moment, she paid him little attention while examining Penny. That brief broken guard was all he needed. His hand whipped over her mouth from behind, forcing her silence and bending her head sideways. In an action that already seemed instinctive, his mouth dove for her neck, leading with his teeth. They seemed to extract somehow, sinking deeper than was possible, striking their target with medical precision. A gush of warm liquid filled his mouth and he gratefully swallowed the thick nectar. When she stopped struggling, his head snapped away and he spun her around.

Judy looked at him through dazed eyes, blood dripping down his chin and catching in his beard, and did…absolutely nothing to retaliate. In lethargic, drugged movements, her hand slowly went to the wound on her neck and she gazed at him with a neutral statement. He removed his hand from her mouth and she didn't say a word.

He smiled at her. "Judith?"

"Yes?" Her voice was flat and toneless -- a virtual zombie.

His smile broadened. "Weren't you going to take care of your sister?"

She glanced at Penny over a shoulder. "Yes, that's what I was going to do." She spoke as if she'd just remembered Penny was in the room. She turned around and started tending to her as if nothing out of the ordinary had occurred.

Now that was interesting! He watched her do exactly as he'd asked, without so much as blinking, and an entirely new aspect to the situation flooded his mind. Due to his rather fortunate demise, he was in a position to take control of the Jupiter II once and for all! For a fleeing moment, he missed the excited pounding in his chest that usually accompanied one of his plans. He tossed that regret out the window with all the broken yesterdays.

*********

"I just don't understand this. Everything checks out perfectly." John wiped a frustrated hand over his tired eyes. It was only a minor sensor glitch, but until the cause could be found, the problem could always grow and create more trouble down the line.

"John, you don’t suppose it could be him and not the equipment, do you?"

"How?"

"I don’t know…maybe something he found here that can block his readings. If he's found a way to keep us from being able to tell where he is…"

"Then he wouldn’t let us know it existed until it came into play."

Don sighed. "You're probably right. But why is it just him? I'm having lots of trouble believing that's coincidental. Anyone else, yeah sure, but Smith…?"

A wry smile touched John's face. He was quite familiar with that feeling. "Well, he still isn't showing up. Only the six of us are registering."

"Maybe he sabotaged the equipment."

"I've got Will checking out the computers, to see if there's any sign that he's compromised them in some way. We haven't found anything wrong with the sensors. I just don’t know what he might have done." John shook his head. "I just don't know…"

"Well, I know he's been acting strange ever since he stayed out that night -- strange even for him!"

"Judy's supposed to have checked him out today. He's been stalling--"

"See!"

"...but she said she would make sure he was examined today."

"And have you noticed that…smell?"

"No."

Don shrugged. "I thought it was something spoiled in the galley, but when he left, so did the odor."

"What kind of odor?"

Don made a face. "A nasty one! Like something had gone bad."

John frowned. With all that could be said about Smith, he was normally an obsessively clean man. "You're sure it was him?"

"No. Just like the sensor thing."

"Maybe I'd better talk to Judy." He looked at the internal scan and saw that two people were in sick bay. One of them, no doubt, would be Judy. "Let's call it a night."

"I'm with you there!" Don said gratefully. They'd been at this for two days now.

When they left the bridge, Don decided he'd make a little visit to Smith's quarters. He'd been conspicuously absent since his unsatisfactorily explained disappearance. Maybe he could find out why. When he buzzed there was no answer, so he went in.

"Pew!" He grimaced as he walked through the door. It was definitely Smith carrying that odor around! Whatever it was, it had to be in here! Don started looking around, trying to track down the smell, but couldn't find anything that might be responsible. He started to wonder if it was Smith himself, but he would just about have to be several days dead to conjure up a stench like this one. Don smiled at the notion…then he frowned. It did smell like rotting flesh in this room…and nothing else he knew of smelled quite that way. But this was an alien world. For all he knew, it could be something native. And Smith obviously wasn't dead.

'But he might be sick,' Don thought, remembering how bad he'd looked the last few days. He…could have picked up a parasite or something while he slept -- if he was sleeping. He shrugged. Well, that would be for Judy to determine. He'd wait and see what she found.

His rapid search had turned up nothing. He was about to leave before being caught snooping in Smith's cabin when something on the floor caught his attention. He stooped down to get a closer look and it was a smear of blood. Looking around for broken glass or something he might have cut himself on, nothing was immediately apparent. Don stood back up. His eyes darted around when he suddenly felt like cross hairs were targeting his head and he started backing out of the room.

'I get a really bad feeling from all this,' he thought as he edged towards the door. Just as he was about to exit, it pulled open and he nearly ran into Smith coming in.

The doctor glared at him for a moment before he spoke. "May I ask what you're doing in my cabin, Major?" There was an unusual edge in his voice that made the hair on the back of Don's neck bristle. Smith had never done that to him! His fighter's instinct told him that he would not come out on top if a confrontation resulted at this moment. That surprised him even more. Sure, Smith scared the hell out of him, but he'd never been afraid of him before!

"Looking for you. You're still not showing up on the sensors. With how you've been feeling, I just wanted to make sure you were all right."

Disbelief flowed from Smith in tangible waves, but he only displayed his honey-sweet smile. "I've never been better," he assured West.

"You…look better," he said truthfully.

"Well then…"

"Yeah…good. I should be going…and let John know you're here. No more midnight search parties." His attempt at joviality fell flat.

"Not tonight." His smile was smothering! Growing more uncomfortable by the second, Don hedged around him and through the doorway, making sure to inhale deeply as he passed. If it was Smith, he couldn't detect it -- at least, not over the stench-permeated air that flowed past him through the open door.

Only after he was away from Smith did he break out in the sweat dealing with him had caused. He headed straight for sick bay.

************

John and Judy were taking to Penny, who was sitting on a biobed when he arrived.

"Is everything all right?"

"Yeah." Penny looked embarrassed. "I was trying to get Blawp out from behind a container in Engineering and found a loose bracket. I cut my hand." She held the bandaged hand up for Don to look at and the smear of blood in Smith's quarters suddenly flashed in his mind. "But I'm OK. Judy's got me all fixed up." She put the other hand on Judy's arm. "Thanks, Sis."

"Just be careful. I don’t need any practice setting bones."

Penny crinkled her mouth at her. "Puh-leeze!" She hopped off the table and headed for the door.

"Don’t be too long. It's getting late, Pen," John called after her.

"Tell that to Blawp," she hollered over her shoulder as she skipped off down the hall.

Don looked back at Judy and John. "Have you examined Smith, yet?"

"I was just telling Dad, I haven't had the chance. There's been a problem in food supply and I've been trying to make sure nothing else was contaminated."

"In food supply?"

"Apparently some of the native foodstuff we collected doesn't preserve in the same way we're used to. A bacterial outbreak resulted."

"Why…haven't I heard about this?" he asked, spreading his hands to an 'I'm-always-the-last-to-know' gesture.

"Because I only found out this morning and you haven't pulled your head out from under that console all day long. Zach brought a container of that mossy stuff in here and accused us of trying to poison him. That might be what's been wrong with him. Anyway, I decided this was a more vital problem than Smith. He's fighting an exam, too, and I just haven't had time to deal with him."

Everything she'd said made sense, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that it didn’t quite ring true. Dealing with a food problem would over-ride Smith, but if she thought they were related, why hadn't she demanded that he submit for the exam? It wasn't like her to do things partway.

"Is everything in the clear? Do we need to take any added precautions with the food?" her father asked.

"I think we should keep anything indigenous to this planet in a separate storage area. That way, if there is another break out, it will be less likely for the contamination to spread."

"A good idea. Should we start on it immediately?"

She shook her head no. "I think it can wait until tomorrow. Everything's under control. Just give me a chance to run a bio-scan on everything before we eat in the morning -- and I mean everything."

"Well, I hope no one else gets ahold of whatever Smith did. Have either of you smelled his cabin?" They both shook their heads. "Well it smells like decomposing flesh in there."

"The smell you mentioned?"

"That very one. It's definitely coming from Smith, or something in his room."

Judy frowned, but John said, "You mentioned that the galley was where you smelled it first."

"Yeah. Smith was in there, too."

"Judy, could the contaminated food, the odor in the galley and Smith's room, and his illness be related?"

"Almost certainly, I would think."

"Could--"

"Dad, I'll let you know tomorrow. Anything I tell you about Dr, Smith tonight will be guesswork." She patted her over-anxious father on the shoulder. "We've had a long day."

That was true, several of them.

"All right, honey. I'll get your mom and Penny to redistribute the food, and I want a report on Smith, all before tomorrow night."

"Well, yes sir." She smiled at John and Don.

"And let us know if you think of any way his sensor readings might fit into all this," John added. He looked severely at Don. "I always worry when too many arrows point to Smith at one time."

"You can say that again!" Don sighed.

"Well, you two can continue this on the bridge. I have things to do."

She seemed anxious for them to leave, but that was probably only because she was. She often ran them out of her sick bay…but…

"Ok. Night, Judy."

"Night Don, Dad."

"Good night, Sweetheart." John kissed her and they both left.

She put a hand to her chest and closed her eyes. The intensity of the deception had her heart pounding but it looked like everything had come off just as she'd hoped it would, just as she'd been instructed. Her hands were sweating and she felt the sudden impulse to go to Zach's cabin.

Wondering if she should bother him, she suddenly realized she had no choice in the matter. Her feet were being pulled in his direction as surely as a relentless lava flow. She didn’t activate the buzzer when she arrived, merely opened the door and walked in. He stood a few feet inside the door, waiting for her. He smiled when she arrived, white teeth and red-hued eyes gleaming at her in the low light.

"I said good night to William," he told her in a conspiratorial whisper. "How did things go in sick bay?"

"Don showed up. Everything went well, I think."

Don…he hated to bring the pilot under his control. He would like to keep him as a wild card, just for amusement, but he couldn't take risks -- not this time.

"I knew you could do it. Come here, Judith." His voice was soft and his tone was beckoning. She took the few steps that put her directly in front of him and stared into those incredible, fiery eyes.

"I'm here."

He unfastened his shirt. "Put your lips…right here, my dear." His shirt hung open, revealing a bare chest and a spot where he pointed. It became her sole concern as she eagerly complied, caressing his cold flesh with her lips…

As the sun lit the landscape where Jupiter II sat on an alien world, Judy returned to sick bay and Zachary Smith closed his eyes to sleep.

***********

Not long after sunrise, all hell started breaking loose on the ship.

"Dad, we've got a problem. One of the main computers has been contaminated by something."

John turned from the sensor console to see William standing behind him, a pulled memory core in hand.

"Something?"

"Yeah, I don’t really know what it is. I haven't ever seen anything that works like this."

"You mean a virus or something?"

"No Dad, I think it's hardware." Will glanced at Don as he came onto the bridge and continued. "I've been looking at this core and the memory storage medium is slowly being neutralized. It's acting sorta like computer Alzheimer's."

"Do you know what's causing it?"

"Not yet. It could be lots of stuff, in theory. Particles, waves, some substances…"

"Which unit is this?"

"Variable consumption."

"So it's linked to the sub-unit in the galley." John shook his head and Don frowned. Back there again. All their current troubles kept pointing back to the galley. John's thoughts were right with his.

"I want that galley taken apart one atom at a time 'til we find out what's going on around here. I'm going to go get Judy and Maureen. The sensors are gonna have to wait, Don."

"Agreed," he said, glad Judy had ordered no one to consume anything until she'd had a chance to check things out. Morning coffee could have killed them.

Judy wanted samples of everything involved. She went to Smith's quarters and returned with a blood sample, but it revealed nothing helpful and he showed no signs of any contamination. One of the native foods exhibited an odd decay, but the others did not, nor could any contaminant be isolated. There was no sign of the bacteria Judy had found earlier, but something that might be a waste by-product was detected. She supplied samples to Don, John and Will in case there was a correlation between the food decay and the sensor or computer problems. Penny and Maureen continued to switch off between working with Judy and safeguarding the food. It was a long, unremitting day, and no one had time to think twice about the absence of Dr. Smith.

About dusk, Judy glanced up at the window.

"You know what I just realized? We haven't heard a word from Dr. Smith since I saw him this morning. I wonder what he's up to?"

"Maybe I should go check on him…"

"I wish you would, Mom."

She smiled. He was probably just avoiding all the work that had gone on during the course of the day, but with Smith there was no telling! She didn’t mind taking a short break, anyway. She stretched her back and went to check on the good doctor.

*********

Don was about to join John on the bridge when he saw Maureen.

"Find anything?" he asked as he caught up to her. She turned her head slowly and looked at him a moment before she seemed to recognize him. "Maureen?"

"I'm sorry, Don…it's been a long day." She sounded distant and looked rather pale.

"It seems like days since I got up this morning." He instantly felt tension between them, like they didn't know what to say to each other. He'd never had trouble talking to Maureen -- in fact, she was his closest confidant. That 'mama' thing she did made her very easy to talk to.

"At least the food appears to be safe." She didn't sound relieved, though…

"Yeah."

When she turned back around, his eyes fastened on a single drop of blood by her collar. He clenched his teeth a minute to keep from blurting, then with trained casualness asked,

"How was Smith?"

"He was fine."

'Um-hum. I knew it!'

"Did Judy get a chance to examine him?"

Maureen's laugh was nervous. "I'm not real sure, with all that's gone on today." …all that's gone on today… rang through his mind. And yet, with all that had gone on today, she wasn't asking him any questions. She should be quizzing him about the computer, about the sensors -- something! Out of the day's events, what had they learned? Absolutely nothing -- and maybe that was the point! You don’t have time to think about a headache if someone smashes your toe with a hammer.

"I've got to report to Judy." That was an invitation for him to get lost if he'd ever heard one.

"Tell her I said I wanted to talk to her later -- about the contaminant," he added when Maureen shot him a questioning look.

"I will," she said and disappeared through the door. He stared at it a moment when it closed.

"Something wrong, Major West?"

He turned to see a cross-armed Penny standing behind him. She looked pale, too. He glanced down at the bandage on her hand.

"Nope. Not a thing."

"Good." She walked with him down the hall and turned off into the galley. His feet felt numb under his legs by the time they parted. The half- formed idea kept swimming to the surface, flying in the face of all logic. It distracted him to a halt a short ways down the corridor.

No life readings; the smell of death -- which he knew too well; incidents involving blood -- and Smith had been absent from meals ever since he returned; Judy had commented on how cold he was; had he seen him during the day since then? No! This wasn't possible! It was absurb! But people were lying for him! Judy had…Maureen just did…and Penny -- well, he couldn’t really tell -- but they were all acting strange!

He had to talk to someone -- NOW! Who, though? Will? No! He spent too much time with Smith! He was even the one who found him that night. That left only one other person; the most staunchly scientific mind he'd ever encountered. He would never believe this…

**********

"Major, you are kidding, right?"

"I'm afraid not." He shrugged and turned his palms up. What possible defense for his sanity could he voice?

John outright laughed in his face. "And you thought I was gullible for believing in the possibility of time travel!"

"Look, I know how this must sound."

"You couldn’t possibly know, or we wouldn’t be having this discussion."

"John, won’t you admit to even the remote chance--"

"That vampires exist? I don’t think so!" He looked at West like he'd lost his mind.

"OK, OK -- I'm nuts. Can it hurt to check him out? I know one thing and it's that he's hiding something."

"I refuse to go along with such antics!"

"John, I want you to consider all the times I've gone along with you on something just because it was something you believed in. I've never pulled this one on you before, have I?" John shook his head. "So I'm appealing to you now; please…trust me. Smith is up to no good. Maybe he's got poor, stupid Major West completely buffaloed as to what it is, but he's in up to his neck!"

John studied the floor for a moment before looking back up.

"You're completely serious."

"I've never been more serious in my life. Please, Professor. There's a problem here, a big one, and I feel it in every bone in my body. We're being set up! I know it!"

Without another word, John reached into the compartment beside the captain's chair and retrieved a gun. "I don’t think there's anything made of wood on this entire ship, but I think I saw garlic on the inventory manifest."

"Very funny," Don said with a frown, patting at his weapon as well. It was with him and ready, of course.

"Let's go, Buffy."

"Professor!"

"All right," he said, shaking his head. He grew more serious on their march down the hall. John wore the no-nonsense statement that told Don even if he didn’t believe a word he'd said, he was there to back him up. West gave him a sharp nod of a salute and hit the buzzer.

"Come in," came the immediate reply.

Smith was lying on his bunk with one leg propped across the other when they entered. He didn’t bother to rise when he saw the weapons pointed at him, but indignantly demanded, "What is all this?"

"You smell that, John?" It wasn't as strong as it had been the day before, but it was still hung in the air, clung to the walls and in the fabric.

"Yeah, I smell it."

"Have you come for a health inspection of my premises, bearing weapons?"

"Well, I had a little more than that in mind, Doctor." West kept the gun pointed at his head. John remained in a less aggressive stance. "I want to know what's going on around here, Smith!"

"Whatever do you mean?"

"Where did the blood on your floor come from the other day?"

"Do you mean when I cut myself shaving?"

"You cut yourself, Penny cut herself. Did Maureen cut herself while she was in your quarters tonight, too?"

Smith broke into a smile. "Perhaps she did."

Even at this, John seemed content to let West pursue the rather bizarre line of questioning. He didn't react to Smith's answers or his belligerent tone. Deciding John was going to let this be his cross-exam, he plunged ahead.

"The only time I remember seeing you since your little vacation has been during the night. Did something happen to your sleeping schedule while you were away?"

Smith laughed again. "What is it you're trying to ask me -- in your own way, of course?"

"I can't help but notice that you've been missing meals, too. Not exactly the Smitty we all know and love."

"Well, let's see if I can come up with something to fit all these requirements. Here's one: I slit my wrists due to dieting in the dark and the whole thing has left me cold. Oh, you hadn't mentioned that one. Oops."

Undaunted, Don held out his weapon a few inches and zeroed in on Smith's nose. "And what's behind door number two?"

"You are a tough audience." He shrugged. "All right, you caught me."

"Tell me what you mean!" He didn’t lower the weapon a millimeter.

"You say it. I want to hear you say it, Major West." Bemused eyes challenged him over a bold smile. He wasn't the slightest bit intimidated by the gun in his face. Don and John glanced at each other and West took a steadying breath.

"Are you…" Damn! He just couldn't ask this! The question sounded insane! That was why Smith wanted to hear him ask. And yet, what else could it be? He'd all but admitted it… "…Are you…" he began again.

"…a creature of the night that flies? Well, I don't know about the flying part, but the rest is true." He started off the bed, still wearing that infernal wicked smile. Don's aim followed him, finger tensed to fire. Smith stopped in mid-stride.

"I don’t know whether that will be effective against me or not, but I have no intention of finding out. If you don't mind, Professor." Smith waved a dismissive hand in their direction. Don didn’t have to look around to feel John's weapon pointing at him.

"Drop the gun, Don."

"I suggest you do as he says," Maureen seconded from the open door behind them. Don complied and looked at John.

"When? When did he get you?"

"He was still in sick bay when I went to talk to Judy last night."

"I really hate to do this, Major," Smith interrupted, grabbing back the attention he'd lost. "You'd be so much fun just as you are." He slithered up to West in fluid movements and draped his arms around the broad shoulders. When West started to fight, he felt the cold steel of a gun pressed against his temple. Smith didn’t give him time to consider whether that might not be the better option. He'd underestimated West too often in the past. Sharp teeth penetrated yielding flesh and he took Don under his control immediately.

He looked up at his collected entourage and said, "A little privacy, if you don't mind."

John looked as Maureen when the doors closed. Penny and Will stood behind them. "We've got work to do." They dispersed and obeyed John's wooden command.

***********

All the delaying tactics that had been put into play were soon cleaned up and everything was reassembled. The next thing they had to do was ready the Jupiter for lift off. Once in space and far away from the light of any star, Smith was no longer bound by the need to sleep during the day. He assumed an around-the-clock schedule, taking no more than short, sustaining naps.

Since she was always so busy coming up with lists and duty rosters, Smith had Maureen devise a rotation schedule, ensuring that he never drained any one of them too severely. After all, he wanted to keep his little denizens healthy, being that they were the only food source available for who-knew how many light years. Judy stayed busy attending the crew and developing metabolic enhancers to elevate blood production. The rest of his crew was kept occupied implementing the next phase of his plan.

Zachary Smith's only desire since the accursed lift-off of the Jupiter II had been to return the ship to Earth, and him with her. This was now more imperative than ever. With only six people to sustain him, their bodies would no doubt suffer from his needs. They also had such a pathetic, limited life span. He was considering implementing a breeding program, just in case it took a century to find home, to assure the continuation of the species around him. After all, humanity had suddenly become very important to him!

There were three things that interfered with his desired return. One was finding Earth to begin with, because they were still as lost as they ever were. Then there was the warrant, which undoubtedly would be waiting for him when he arrived. Were they to re-enter Earth's atmosphere with modern-day tracking equipment in place, they would be traced with precision to any pinpoint on the globe. Lastly, and perhaps most irreversible, was the impending inability of the planet to support human life.

If he wanted to return to Earth, there was only one way to do it. William's little time machine, with it's tracking device, provided the answer to all of these problems. That was the course he'd ultimately chosen and what he had his minion working on. The Jupiter itself would be used to break the time/space barrier, and he would return to Earth's unenlightened past, where he could rule as he pleased.

It took nearly two years of non-stop work, during which time Smith only grew more bored and arrogant. He had absolute control of everything around him, just as he had always wanted. The only thing he could possibly need was to be a better-fed fish in a bigger pond. Other than take him home immediately, they did anything he asked, and all was good.

*********

"We've got it! We've got it, Zachary!" Will rushed into Smith's quarters, ignoring whatever was going on in there as he always did. Smith left William's father, giving him time to recuperate, and slipped into a robe.

"Got what, dear boy?"

"Earth! We located Earth"

Smith grabbed William by the shoulders. The tips of fangs glistened in a smile and his eyes were black pearls.

"You do know better than to tease me about such a thing?" was the only warning he gave. Will nodded. He threw his arms around the young man in a hug of pure delight.

"William, you'll never know how happy you've just made me! Excellent work, my boy!"

William smiled shyly. "Thank you, Dr. Smith. We'll be ready to make the jump in a few hours."

Smith swiveled to address John. "Didn’t I tell you I'd get us home when I took command of this ship?" He felt more than vindicated for everything he'd had to do. Just as he'd done when he stopped the robot's rampage, he had once again saved the Jupiter and all aboard!

"That you did, Dr. Smith."

"Ohhh, shut up!" he hissed bitterly. He couldn't wait until he got off this wretched vehicle. He'd become so tired of complacent 'yes' sheep during the construction of the time machine that he might go out and start a few wars when they returned, just for a little excitement. He clenched his fist as his ultimate victory over them was drained of any vengeance by their lack of resistance.

He put a hand on William's shoulder and escorted him through the door. "Come on, William. I want to watch the preparations."

*************

The time leap used up most of the energy poor Jupiter had left. The ship was barely able to wade home once in their own little puddle of a solar system. A wistful sigh turned into the name of his tiny home planet and a cold hand touched the viewport. He watched without breathing as it drew closer.

Tiny as it was, she pulled the ship back into her atmosphere in a crushing grip. Jupiter plunged to her native soil and would never leave again. Unfortunately, John and Don had died in the landing when the bridge all but imploded around them. But the rest of them had miraculously survived and that was all that mattered. They were home!

Without a glance back, the Jupiter was left behind them and they walked west in search of a road. The road would lead to a nearby town. Smith carried Penny the when she became too weak to walk the rugged wagon trail. He pushed them all the way, keeping a careful eye on the course of the moon as it arced across the familiar sky. When they crested a peak on the winding, mountainous road, they saw a small village nested in the valley below. Smith looked at the town marker, overcome with the irony of it all.

"You know, in the end, some things are just meant to be." From the looks of the community, and by his intentional timing, it was sometime during the 15th century. Things couldn’t have wound up more perfect, or prophetic. He looked at the three women that accompanied him.

"Welcome to Hermanstadt. We're in Transylvania. Come, Renfield."

Will Robinson tagged along behind.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!

Juls Lake Heath

© Sept. 23, 1999