TITLE: Mango Python

AUTHOR: cheri (idleslov@sonicwave.net)

ARCHIVE: Anywhere, just ask me first

RATING: PG-13

SPOILERS: Saturday Night Live, 1998 Aspen Comedy Festival

KEYWORDS: Saturday Night Live, Monty Python, Humor

SUMMARY: Mango and Michael meet

DISCLAIMER: Monty python and Mango do not belong to me. they belong to monty python and saturday night live and chris kattan. i am making no money off of this



MANGO PYTHON
By Cheri

(1998 Aspen Comedy Festival)

(The Pythons are backstage before the show)

Terry Jones: I can't believe we're all back together. It's been so long!

Eric Idle: Yes it has. Far too long

Michael Palin: I've got butterflies though. I hope everything goes well. Well...I better go to the loo before we start. Excuse me!

(Michael walks down the corridor towards the bathroom as the others talk. Reaching the bathroom, he unzips his pants and pees into the urinal. As he is peeing, the door opens and Mango walks in. Michael does a double take as Mango walks to the urinal beside him)

Michael(under his breath) What the hell?

(As Michael stares, Mango whips around and begins to shake his butt and waves his hands at Michael)

I MISS YOU AS THE DESERTS MISS THE RAIN

(Michael stares wide eyed as Mango finishes peeing and walks out. As he leaves, Michael stares at the door)

Michael: Mango...Mango

(the door opens and Eric enters, He freezes as he notices Michael is still standing frozen and bug eyed. Eric looks back over his shoulder. Seeing nothing, he walks up to Michael)

Eric: Mike? Are you okay?

Michael: Mango...Oh, Mango

(Eric blinks in surprise, He begins to shake Michael by the shoulders)

Eric: Mike! Wake up! Snap out of it!

(Michael blinks and wakes from a trance, seeing Eric, he becomes enraged)

Michael: GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME YOU LIMEY GIT!

(Michael storms out of the bathroom as Eric stands in shock, his mouth hanging open)

**********

(Mango runs into the boiler room as Eddie Izzard tries to push his way in)

Mango : Leave me alone, Mistah Lizard! Leave Mango alone!

(He finally manages to slam the door. )

Eddie (outside the door) Oh bugger!

(Mango shakes his head)

Mango: These peoples is crazy here!

(Knock on the door)

Mango: I TOLD YOU MISTAH LIZARD....

(The door opens and Michael enters butt naked with a bouquet of roses. Mango stares at him in shock)

Mango: WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WHERE ARE YOUR CLOTHES?

(Michael kneels down on one knee and holds up the bouquet)

Michael: Oh Mango! You are the love of my life! Please marry me!

Mango: WHAT? YOU ARE CRAZY MISTAH PALLET. YOU THINK I AM THE HOMO-GAY? WHY DOES EVERYONE THINK I AM THE HOMO-GAY? LEAVE MANGO BE! GET OUT! (slaps ass)

(Michael stares at Mango's ass, drooling. Mango looks around and notices him)

Mango (staring at his ass) WHAT?

Michael: Did anyone ever tell you, your arse is lovely?

Mango (in shock) YOU ARE CRAZY, MISTAH PALLET! GET OUT (slaps ass)

(As Michael turns to leave, Mango turns and holds out his arm. Michael looks back and Mango turns quickly)

Michael: Sure you won't reconsider?

Mango: NO! GET OUT!

(Michael turns to leave, Mango turns and holds out his arm. Michael looks back and Mango turns quickly. Depressed Michael quietly leaves as Mango cries. Michael walks down the hall past Eric who looks towards the boiler room)

Eric: hmmmm

(Opens door)

I MISS YOU AS THE DESERTS MISS THE RAIN....


the end

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