title: Reality

fandom: MutantX

pairing: Brennan/Adam

series: Altered States

sequel to: Nightmares Lived, Tarnished Dreams

rating: R

archive: sure! just let me know

author: nancy

summary: Brennan's trying to reconcile himself and his feelings with reality while Adam just gets everything allll wrong.

WARNINGS: not too much, just bad language and angst.

notes: thanks muchly to TalithaX for the harrassment...er...encouragement in getting this finished. and while not as long as the other installments, the 4th one should pick up the slack. *grin*
oh yeah! and thanks also go to Shaz for emailing me. something said in that email sparked some of this fic. :o)

Reality
by Nancy

Brennan looked at the supportive faces with a vague sense of shock. "You mean, this whole year I just, I wasn't here?"

Adam nodded and confirmed, "We thought your powers mutated out of control again, only this time..."

"Only this time, we thought it killed you," Emma finished gently.

Well damn. No wonder they didn't seem to want to let him out of their sight. The first time he'd nearly overloaded, they'd been clingy for over a week. Now, he'd probably be lucky to take a piss by himself for a month.

Not the Brennan was minding the constant companionship, not by any stretch, but he was dying for some alone time with Adam. Oh shit! His thoughts stopped short as he finally realized what his year never happening meant for him and Adam. He looked at the older man but didn't see anything there except friendly concern mixed with relief. Oh no, no, no, no, no! "Adam, ah, so this whole year that I went through, it never happened?"

"Well no, I wouldn't say that," Adam countered. "It happened for you. It just didn't happen for the rest of us."

"I know it happened to me," Brennan snapped.

Taken aback by his harsh tone, Adam asked, "What's wrong? What happened that you think we should know?"

Forcing himself to breathe calmly, Brennan tried to find the words, but couldn't. Dropping his eyes, he muttered, "Nothing. Never mind."

There was a pause, then Jesse questioned, "So how close did this year parallel what you went through?"

*Aside from you being dead, Adam's betrayal, and then becoming lovers? Oh not much,* Brennan thought bleakly. He closed his eyes and asked, "Can I...would you guys let me rest a little? I'm really tired all of a sudden."

It sounded like there was a jump all around to let him sleep. There voices were a jumble of as they each took their leave. When it was quiet, Brennan opened his eyes to find Emma sitting guard on the chair beside the bed.

She smiled and teased lightly, "I knew you were faking. You want to talk about it?"

Shaking his head, Brennan answered, "Not really."

"I can feel it eating at you, Bren," Emma said, her eyes compassionate. "You'll feel better if you talk about it."

Half-grinning, Brennan replied sardonically, "You must have me confused with Jesse."

"Very funny."

"I've been dead for a year, what do you want?"

They were both surprised at his bitterness, and Emma frowned in earnest, shifting to sit on the edge of the bed. Taking his hand, she asked, "Tell me, Brennan, please?"

Shaking his head, Brennan pulled his hand free and turned his back to her. There was no way that he could explain what he was feeling to himself, never mind someone else. After a long moment, she left the bed and resumed her vigil on the chair. Eventually, Brennan drifted into sleep.

* * * *

Adam raised his hand to knock on Brennan's door, but paused when he heard Jesse's voice coming from inside. They were laughing and for a moment, Adam leaned against the door, listening to the vibrant sounds coming from within. He soaked it up like a desiccated sponge,
the warm, rich tones of Brennan's voice, the dry words he couldn't quite make out. It was a distinct difference from the gaunt and scarred face they'd been presented with since his return.

"Listening at doors now?"

Shalimar's question startled him and Adam glared at her for a second, before smiling ruefully and admitting, "Just for a moment. I'm not actually trying to eavesdrop."

"No, of course not. You've got machines to do it for you," she teased.

Adam grinned at that and agreed, "Very true."

She leaned against the opposite wall. "You should just tell him how you feel, Adam."

Shaking his head, Adam replied, "I can't. He and Jesse...well...I saw them together the other day."

Shalimar's eyebrows arched in shock. "Excuse me?"

"The first day Brennan returned," Adam confirmed. "They were…it would have been sweet if it hadn't been so personally heartbreaking."

"But, Jesse?" Shalimar demanded, incredulous. "Adam, Jesse's never..."

The door opened unexpectedly and Adam fell backwards. Strong hands caught him up and for a moment, he rested against Brennan's broad chest and looked up into amused, dark eyes.

"Something I can do for you?" Brennan asked with a grin.

Straightening up, Adam shook his head and answered, "No. I was just coming to tell you that supper's on."

Jesse frowned. "Comms broken?"

With a minor flush at the slightly peevish tone, Adam again shook his head and explained, "Just thought I'd give it the personal touch."

Brennan's hand, which was still on Adam's shoulder, squeezed and he smiled. "Thanks. We were just working up an appetite."

Shalimar started coughing and Adam gave her a warning look before saying, "Good. That's great. Let's hurry before Emma burns it."

They trooped down the short hall to the main room that was both living room, dining room and war room. Emma already had the pizza out on the short table in the center and everyone sat on a cushion.

She jabbed Adam in the side and said, "I do not burn food, especially not pizza."

He grinned and reached for a slice.

"I don't know, Em, I think I saw a warning sign in the kitchen that specifically barred Emmas from cooking in it," Shalimar teased.

"Any and all Emmas, not just you," Jesse chimed in.

Brennan snorted and started eating.

Grinning, Emma questioned, "What? No comments from the rest of the peanut gallery?"

Smirking, Brennan looked at Jesse as he observed, "I think there's a height restriction to be in the peanut gallery."

"Hey!"

Adam watched an impromptu pillow fight begin when Jesse swung a nearby cushion at Brennan's head. Shaking his head, grinning at the youthful behavior, Adam took his plate and backed away from the group as Shalimar and Emma joined in, shrieking with laughter.

* * * *

It was over an hour later that the wreckage had been cleaned up and everyone was sacked out on various spots around the room. Shalimar's head rested on Jesse's lap. Emma had stretched herself between Adam and Brennan, her legs across Brennan's and her head on Adam's thigh.
Everyone was quiet, just enjoying the moment and each other's company.

Yawning, Emma looked up at Adam and asked, "When will you hear back from the Senator?"

"Tomorrow," Adam replied, his fingers lightly stroking through her hair. "She's still grateful that we were able to get her daughter back and willing to say so in public, which is more than most."

"Nothing on the new laws, though, right?" Shalimar questioned.

Adam sighed. "Not yet. The House is really divided, but the conservatives are still holding the floor on adding the Mutant status as a protected one."

"Wait, you mean people are still talking to you?" Brennan demanded in surprise.

Frowning, Adam answered, "Why wouldn't they be?"

"Aren't you public enemy number one for unleashing us onto the world?"

Adam's lips quirked as he confirmed, "I am. But I also have the best team out there for covert-ops and the government knows it. You're saying that in your reality, this wasn't so?"

"No. No one would even take your call after Eckhart's press conference," Brennan explained slowly. "We were completely on our own."

Astonished, Adam didn't at first reply. Lips pursed, he said carefully, "I think it would be a good idea for you to explain exactly what is, and isn't, different from the reality that you've come from."

Brennan's jaw tightened and he looked away from everyone. "It was rough. You and Emma were working for Eckhart, trying to get the time line back on track, but I didn't know that. I just knew that he had you. Jesse was dead. Shalimar was injured and we were living hand to mouth, hiding from everyone. Then, well, I snapped. I couldn't take it anymore and gave Eckhart an ultimatum."

With a frown, Emma asked, "What kind of ultimatum?"

"To give you and Emma up or I'd blow the whistle on everything...and take out one of his major weapons' sites."

"By yourself? Brennan, that's not possible," Adam replied.

Snorting bitterly, Brennan replied, "Sure it is. My powers mutated twice over the last year, each one giving me more and more juice. I can now blow up a building that covers two city-blocks. That and, apparently, power a nuclear reactor when it loses power. How do you think I got here?"

Adam blinked in surprise, then admitted, "I don't know. I hadn't really thought about it. I've just been too relieved to have you here."

"Well, that's how," Brennan explained. He gently pushed Emma's legs down and got to his feet. "Look, it was a bad time, for all of us. I...never mind. I'm going to bed."

Adam stared after Brennan and wanted nothing more than to go after him, to offer comfort about what had obviously been very traumatic, but it wasn't his place. Sighing, he looked down at Emma and asked, "How is he? Really?"

"It's, it's like he's lost, Adam," Emma answered finally. "Like something vital's been ripped away from him and he doesn't know how to get it back. He's screaming silently inside, on the edge. I don't know what to do."

"He just needs time, to get some distance," Shalimar suggested, quiet.

Glancing at Jesse only provoked a helpless shrug from the younger man, so Adam nodded. Worried, he murmured, "I hope that's all it is."

* * * *

Brennan eyed Adam warily and asked, "Do we have to do this?"

"Yes, we have to do this," Adam confirmed, tapping the syringe to make sure there were no air bubbles. "I need to make sure that your body isn't having any kind of negative effects from the time travel."

"It didn't before, with Ashlocke," Brennan reminded.

Adam looked at him pointedly and stated, "It also didn't stay stuck in limbo for a year."

Sighing, Brennan held out his arm and closed his eyes.

With a faint grin, Adam plunged the needle as gently as possible into the arm outstretched before him, and injected the sedative. Then he pushed Brennan down on the exam bed and ordered, "Count backwards from twenty-five."

"You couldn't think of a better way to knock me out than a needle?" Brennan complained.

Adam started to reach out and brush the dark bangs off the younger man's forehead, but checked the movement and replied, "Old fashioned in this case is best. I want your body just to think it's going to sleep. Start counting."

Sighing, Brennan counted, "Twenty-five, twenty-four, twenty-three, twenty-two, twenty-one, twenty...uh...nineteen, eighteen, fifteen, twelve...three..."

Adam waited another half-minute to be sure, then nodded to himself and brought the imager close and scanned Brennan's body. He'd already gone through Brennan's genetic makeup with a fine-toothed comb and was a little frightened by what he'd found. The elemental's powers had mutated twice in the phantom year, according to Brennan, and the power was resonating through the cells he'd examined. More than enough power to, as Brennan had claimed, level a building all by himself.

Thank God it was stable, that Brennan hadn't gone the same route as Ashlocke, though he still didn't know why. It was a miracle that Adam would be grateful for the rest of his life. Not just because he loved Brennan, but because he was vital to the team as a whole. They could, and had, survived without him, but the fun and spontaneity had just seemed to go out of them all. Brennan brought that to them, he brought an irreverent attitude of mischief that kept everyone on their toes.

The scanner beeped at him and Adam frowned, leaning forward to examine the anomaly. Minuscule but pervasive cracked bones spoke of serious pressure buildup, as though Brennan had been deep-sea diving a little too deep and the pressure had been too much for his body.
Not good, not good at all. How was he even managing to move around at all, let alone not show any strain?

Manipulating the scanner, he switched from x-ray to tissue and his heart dipped even further at the damage visible throughout the musculature. It was an impossibility that Brennan was able to move at all, considering the depth of the destruction to the body. Frowning, unable to reconcile what the scanner was telling him with the man himself, Adam switched the machine off.

He stared at the young man lying oblivious on the exam bed and satisfied the urge to brush the hair from Brennan's forehead. It was a good thing that he loved puzzles, because there was definitely something going on here that just wasn't right.

* * * *

"Adam?"

Adam glanced up at Emma's hesitant query and forced a smile. "Emma, come in. What can I do for you?"

"You can tell me what's got you so worried," she replied, closing the study door behind her. Crossing the room, she leaned against the desk and continued, "I know it has to do with Brennan, and that it's pretty bad."

Rubbing his eyes, wishing that Emma wasn't quite the night-owl that she was, Adam sighed. "I haven't even figured it out yet."

"Figured what out yet?"

"Why he's alive."

Emma's jaw dropped. "Excuse me?"

With a grim smile, Adam nodded and informed her, "I ran every test on Brennan that I could and they all say the same thing. He should be crippled with pain and confined to a fetal position, if not dead outright, and yet he's walking around like nothing's wrong inside. He's walking, and running, and working out, and having pillow fights as if he were the picture of good health."

"How's that possible?" Emma questioned.

"I don't know," Adam admitted. "I haven't got a clue."

"Is it to do with his mutations?"

"Maybe. I've been thinking that the mutations were in response to the constant life and death struggle he and Shalimar was in."

"Evolution?"

"In a word, yes. From what little he's told me, and I'm still trying to get it all out of him, there was a near-constant state of adrenaline, which had him on edge and amped, all the time," Adam
explained.

Shaking her head, Emma murmured, "What a way to live."

"I know."

"So, what now?"

Adam sighed again and replied, "I'm just going to keep a close eye on him and keep running tests. If he's not feeling any pain, and his body is working all right, then there's nothing really to do. For all I know, it had nothing to do with his powers, but with the travel through time and his disappearance over the last year. Or maybe it was both. There's just no way to tell."

"But he's okay for now?"

Nodding, Adam agreed, "For now, yes."

"You should get some sleep, Adam."

"I'm fine."

"No, you're not," she stated firmly. "You're tired, upset, and not thinking clearly any more. You need to rest if you're going to be any use to Brennan and the rest of us."

Adam looked at her for a long moment, then half-smiled. "You're right, of course. I'll go to sleep in a bit."

Her eyes narrowed, but she nodded and allowed, "All right. See you in the morning."

After the door closed behind her, Adam groaned silently to himself and thought, I'm never going to get to sleep. Not with my head going a million miles a second about Brennan.

* * * *

Brennan yawned and stretched, groaning in contentment at the feel of a real bed under him, even if he was the only one in it. He was pretty sure that he'd never take sleeping in a bed for granted for the rest of his life. It was early yet, but he knew that the others were already up and about. They were all insane enough to be up at the crack of dawn if given the option. Personally, Brennan was happy never to see the morning hours, if at all possible.

Ever since his return, since he'd put things back on track, Adam had been skittish around him. It was bad enough that Brennan was in withdrawal from not having his lover, but even worse that, the other man was avoiding him. One of the reasons he wasn't making more of a fuss over all the damned testing; he was desperate for any kind of contact with Adam that he could get.

Rolling out of bed, Brennan grabbed a t-shirt and padded barefoot across the chilly floor. He remembered the look that had been on Adam's face when he'd come around the day before and shivered a little. There was something about the results that the older man wasn't sharing with him and it was making Brennan distinctly nervous.

"Hey Bren," Jesse called from behind.

Brennan smiled and turned to meet his friend. It was still such a relief to see Jesse any time that he wanted to. "Hey yourself. Sleep good?"

"Yeah. You?" Jesse questioned, falling into step with him.

Shrugging, Brennan answered, "Okay."

"Just okay?"

Brennan hesitated, then admitted, "I got used to not sleeping alone over the last year. The bed feels too empty now."

Jaw dropped, Jesse exclaimed, half-irritated and half-admiring, "You dog! And you didn't even tell me? Who was it? Shalimar, or Adam?"

Snorting, Brennan replied, "A gentleman never kisses and tells."

"Good thing you're not a gentleman, then," Jesse scoffed. "Who was it?"

Brennan flushed, reluctant to part with the information.

Eyeing him narrowly, Jesse said, "It was Adam, wasn't it? No way that Shalimar would make you blush like that. You'd be bragging."

Flushing even hotter, cursing his seemingly uncontrollable reactions, Brennan nodded. "Yeah. It was Adam."

"And? C'mon, Bren, details, man!"

"God. You're never going to drop this, are you?"

"Not a chance in hell, my friend."

Brennan groaned at the playful tone, but really, he was dying to talk to someone about it.

* * * *

Adam stopped short upon hearing Jesse and Brennan's voices in the hall ahead. He glanced around the corner, his heart tightening with jealousy as he saw how close they were. Jesse was smiling broadly while, oddly enough, Brennan was flushed and awkward. Hmm. He would have thought things would be the other way around.

Shrugging to himself, Adam sighed faintly, taking in the sight of Brennan leaning casually against the wall. He was a head taller than Jesse, and nearly made another of the blond in breadth, but there was something almost shy in his expression as his voice dropped and he continued to explain something to Jesse.

Tender.

That was the word, Adam suddenly realized. His heart ached a little more fiercely as he saw just how in love Brennan was. Unable to watch a moment longer, Adam turned around and went back the way he came.

He no longer had an appetite anyhow.

Part 2

The GSA, in its newest incarnation, was a busy entity these days. Mason's new office was as pristine as the old one, but with a far better view. Beneath his dispassionate gaze was the city itself, alive and unaware of the cunning and discrete wars going on within her borders. The cops now had new criminals to find, but the city offered refuge for those who knew how to hide in her shadows, as all new mutants seemed able to do upon inception.

It would take more than a simple announcement about the existence of mutants to effect their imprisonment and eradication. Mason knew that. It didn't lessen his impatience, but then, Mason knew how to control all aspects of himself, including the overwhelming drive to erase the mutants from the face of the earth.

"Mason."

Mason glanced up at Michael with a smile. The other man looked good, dressed in black, better than his brother, actually, though of course he was now the younger and black always looked good on the young. "Good afternoon Michael. Settled in?"

Nodding, Michael headed for the window and said, "It's a nice place. Thanks for that."

"Well, I couldn't very well have my most valuable employee out searching for a place to live while his time could be better spent elsewhere now, could I?" Mason replied lightly.

The subtle probing provoked a smirk as Michael said, "Of course not. And just so you know, I have their location narrowed down to outside the city. That burst of power I felt…I can still feel it, Mason. It's not nearly as strong, so it's taking me longer to get a bead on it, but it's there. I don't know how, but the power is definitely connected to Adam. It feels almost..."

Quirking an eyebrow when Michael's voice trailed off, Mason prompted, "Almost?"

Michael flushed slightly and finished, "Intimate."

*Really. Now that is interesting,* Mason mused. Aloud, he said, "Do you think you can give me an estimate?"

Shaking his head, Michael answered, "I wouldn't want to give you false information. But I'll find him, Mason, you don't need to worry about that. It's just a matter of time."

"Very well. I trust you," Mason stated. "Have you finished going over the MutantX profiles?"

Michael snorted. "My brother always did need a guiding hand when it came to picking his friends. Talk about a bunch of psychos. The Psionic is the one who makes me nervous. Is there any way to just take her out of the equation altogether?"

"I'd prefer not. I'd like to get a governor in her and study her powers personally. Ms. De Lauro presents a unique opportunity in that I'm sure she's more...talented...than she lets on, even to
Adam. Fear holds back even the most powerful," Mason observed dryly.

"The other two? The feral and molecular?"

Shrugging, Mason said, "Dispose of them however you see fit."

"And Adam?"

"Ah yes. Adam. What are we to do with your brother?" Mason speculated aloud. "What would you like to do with him?"

Michael's jaw tightened with anger. "Kick his ass. And forgive him. I don't...I can't kill him, Mason, even as pissed at him as I am. Maybe that first day when you rescued me, I could've, but not now. Not in cold blood."

Mason nodded, having expected such an answer. The Kane's were too genetically predisposed to protect and serve for any real hatred to exist between them. He was rather surprised that Michael had made it as far as he had and killed as many `enemies' as evinced by his record. Though, he supposed, the other man had probably rationalized it as protecting his family and his country as a form of pre-emptive self-defense.

Funny what the human mind could come up with to reconcile actions with emotions.

Returning to the present conversation, Mason questioned, "What will you do if he tries to kill you? Because I'm fairly certain that he will."

"He can't have changed that much," Michael said, dark eyes restless as they stared out the window.

"He has."

Michael finally replied, reluctance etched into every word, "I'll defend myself with deadly force if necessary, but I'm going to do my best to take him alive."

Mason easily hid the smile trying to get loose. Things were definitely going according to plan.

* * * *

Emma's head was whirling as she tried to fend off the emotions coming from Adam and Brennan. Normally, it wasn't too much of an effort to filter any of her friends out, they were more like white- noise than anything else. This evening, though, Gods it was near impossible for her to think straight.

"Em? You okay?" Shalimar asked softly.

Shaking her head, Emma closed her eyes and whispered, "It's a little hostile in here."

Shalimar grimaced, though of course she had to suspect that was the answer she'd get when asking the question. Her eyes flickered over to the men and her jaw tightened with a decision. Getting to her feet, she strode to them and snapped, "The two of you are going to work this out or I'm going to knock both your heads together to give Emma some peace!"

Obviously startled, they both looked at Emma and had the grace to look ashamed and irritated with themselves for not noticing.

"Adam, you first. Spill. Brennan has a right to know what's going on with his own body," Shalimar ordered.

A mutinous expression surfaced, but lasted only a few moments. Then he sighed and said, "I have no idea what's going on, Brennan, and that's the truth."

"But you're scared. I know you, Adam, and I know that look you're trying not to show," Brennan stated.

A bit surprised by the announcement, Adam hesitated then agreed, "Yes. By every test that I've run, you...you should be dead."

Brennan blinked at him for a long moment, taking in the shocking news more calmly than Shalimar would've credited him with. Then again, she hadn't gone through what he had and it had become apparent over the last couple of weeks that Brennan wasn't the man they all remember. He was more than before; more patient, more quiet, more thoughtful, more gentle. It was as though he'd seen the worst and was determined to go in the opposite direction.

"What's the problem?" Brennan asked.

Eyebrows arching, Adam exclaimed, "The problem is that you could die at any time and I don't…there isn't anything I can do to heal you. I don't even know what's causing it, let alone what's allowing you to breathe and walk around!"

"No, Adam, I mean...what's the problem?"

There was something odd about Brennan's voice and the way he was staring so intently at Adam. It was as though he had some kind of knowledge on the inner workings of the scientist to which the rest of them weren't privy. What was even more interesting was the way Adam's eyes lowered and refused to meet the other man's gaze.

"You've been avoiding me."

Adam shook his head. "I have not."

"Yes, you have," Brennan countered almost sadly. "But that's okay. Look, Adam, I can't give you what you want. I can't tell you...no, I *won't* tell you what happened to me this last year. I'm not telling any of you because it's too personal. I love you, I love all of you, but I need this, okay?"

When Brennan's dark eyes met hers, Shalimar nodded silently. There was a sheen of despair to his eyes and all she wanted to do was pull him close and soothe him, but knew she'd be rejected.

Brennan's gaze returned to Adam, but the older man was looking stubborn. "Please, Adam, don't ask me. Give me this, please."

The whispered plea seemed to drive right into Adam and he slumped, all defiance vanishing. A moment later, Brennan turned and left the common area, hunched in on himself. Shalimar felt her own headache coming on from all the emotions, but sat back down beside Emma, pulling the slight woman into her arms and rubbing her back, soothing her through the quiet sobs.

The noise finally penetrated whatever fog Adam seemed to be mired in and he crossed swiftly to them. Crouching down, he took a deep breath and released it, closing his eyes. Several long moments later, his eyes reopened and he touched Emma's knee. "Better?"

Emma drew in a shuddering breath and nodded, wiping her face with the back of her hand.

"What the hell happened here?" Jesse's voice demanded harshly. "Where's Brennan?"

Shalimar was shocked at the depth of anger and worry in her best friend's voice, even more so as it was aimed at Adam. Maybe the scientist was right. Maybe Brennan and Jesse were actually together, even as bizarre as that seemed to her.

"Adam, what did you do?"

Adam flinched upon the near-accusation.

"Jesse!" Emma exclaimed.

Withdrawing his hand and getting to his feet, Adam assured her, "No, Emma, it's all right. Brennan's fine, Jesse. We just had a disagreement. He probably returned to his room."

"A disagreement that brought Emma to tears?"

Sharply, Shalimar warned, "Jesse, back off."

Scowling at her, Jesse didn't reply, instead leaving and heading for Brennan's bedroom.

Her hand still rubbing Emma's back, Shalimar exhaled forcefully. "I don't know what the hell's going on here, but this has to stop, Adam. The three of you need to sit down and settle things, once and for all. Much more of this and Eckhart won't have to lift a finger because there won't be a MutantX."

Troubled, Adam nodded.

* * * *

*Okay. So. Overreact much, Jess?* Jesse sighed to himself as he continued down the corridor. But the first thing that he'd thought when he saw Emma crying and the other two around her was that something had happened to Brennan. And since Adam had been testing the shit out of Brennan the last couple of days, well, his mouth had opened before he could edit the words.

Reaching Brennan's door, he tapped hesitantly on it, but didn't get an answer. Frowning, he knocked louder, but still got nothing. "Brennan? I'm coming in, man."

He opened the door and immediately knew that the other wasn't in there. Glancing around the bedroom showed that drawers had been hastily opened and clothing taken out. When he found Brennan's communicator ring on the night stand table, Jesse's heart stuttered in shock and fear. Bringing up his own finger, he shouted, "Adam! Adam, he's gone!"

Immediately, Adam demanded, "What? What are you talking about!?"

"Brennan's gone! He grabbed some clothes and left his ring!" Jesse explained. He rushed forward and grabbed the ring before running out of the room. "I'll meet you at the Helix."

"We'll be right down."

*God, Bren, what the hell are you thinking!?* Jesse demanded, fearful for his friend as he'd never before been. That entire day had been spent talking because, once Brennan had started, he hadn't
seemed able to start. He'd told Jesse about Sam and about Adam and about the running and starving and told him how it all seemed to link together. That he wasn't meant for a happy life. That for him to have a measure of goodness in his life, others had to suffer.

Skidding to a halt outside the flying vehicle, Jesse keyed in the code, but had to do it twice because his hands were shaking so badly. He'd never really considered Brennan suicidal before, but after everything that he'd found out about, Jesse knew that it would take less than that to break anyone else. Maybe whatever Adam and he had fought about had pushed him over the edge?

*No, Kilmartin, think about it. He wouldn't have taken his clothes if he was going to kill himself,* Jesse reminded himself almost savagely.

Running through the startup sequence automatically, Jesse accessed the computer and found out that the mustang was missing from the garage. Figured. Even emotionally upset, Brennan went for the classic. Snorting softly to himself, he flipped on the tracker that all the cars had and got an immediate lock. It was stationary about fifty miles away. Damn. Brennan had practically been flying himself if he'd gotten that far, that fast.

The others came rushing onto the bird just then and Adam exclaimed, "Do you have a lock?"

"Yep. Firing it up now," Jesse said, suiting action to words as his hands ran over the various keys with assurance.

Sitting in the co-pilot's seat, Adam buckled in and asked, "Where is he?"

"About fifty miles away, but not moving anymore."

"Good, good," Adam muttered.

Once in the air, Jesse engaged the stealth mode flying towards the mustang and, hopefully, Brennan.

* * * *

The car turned out to be in an abandoned parking lot in the less savory part of an outlying suburb. The buildings all around were abandoned as well, thankfully, and the only one to see them get out
of an invisible airplane were a few drunks that no one would believe anyhow.

Adam saw a piece of paper in the mustang's windshield and tugged it free, opening it.


Adam,

I'm sorry for all the chaos I've brought. I don't want to hurt any of you, ever. And yeah, I know leaving's going to do that, but trust me. You're all better off without me around. Ask Jesse, he knows what I'm talking about. Don't worry about me, I can take care of myself and I'm not looking to get myself killed or anything. I'm just going to lay low and figure out my head.

Well. If I can.

So yeah. Take care of yourself and - - take care of yourself.

Brennan


"Damn it, Brennan," he hissed, crumpling the paper without thinking.

Jesse came up next to him and asked, "What's it say?"

Adam stared at him for a second, then held out the wrinkled paper and answered, "He's going to clear his head and make sure we're all better off without him."

"What the hell did you two fight about, anyhow?" Jesse demanded, passing the note to Shalimar.

"I was trying to get him to open up about what happened. He's just… he's so different now, you know? I thought it would help if he could talk to someone about everything. I could tell he was reaching a breaking point," Adam replied, suddenly bone weary with the certainty that he'd driven Brennan away.

Jesse's head dropped forward and a harsh bark of laughter escaped. "The two of you are so alike, it's scary."

Frowning, Adam asked, "What do you mean?"

"I mean, Brennan talked my ear off all God damned day about what happened in that phantom year," Jesse explained, a wry smile teasing his lips. "The reason he didn't want to tell you was because most of it centered around you. He wanted things to develop, or not as the case might've been, naturally. Without alternate universes and drug lords and you working for Eckhart."

Adam was still confused. "Wanted what to develop?"

"You! The two of you! God, Adam, do I need to draw you a graph and chart? Brennan's in love with you!" Jesse shouted.

"But, no! That's not right, he's in love with you!" Adam exclaimed.

Jaw gaping open, Jesse demanded incredulously, "Where the hell did you get that idea?"

"The two of you," Adam replied uncertainly. "You've been inseparable since he got back. And I, I saw you together the first day he returned. He, he wouldn't let go of you."

Eyes rolling, practically screeching in frustration, Jesse explained, "That's because I'd been *dead* for a couple of years! God damn it, Adam, the man is soul-deep in love with you and nothing's ever going to change that. The problem is that he's all confused and thinks that he's some kind of danger to you. That you'll be safer if he's not around. All of us, for that matter. The freakin' moron."

Adam was still having trouble wrapping his mind around Jesse's insistence that Brennan was in love with him. "He's really in love with me?"

Jesse looked at him and sighed, exasperated, but not angry anymore. A smile finally surfaced, the expression too natural to stay away for long. "Yes, Adam, he's in love with you. Really."

Shalimar, who'd been silent up until then, nudged Adam rudely with her elbow and grinned. "Told you so."

"That doesn't help find him now," Emma pointed out. "No comm link, no way to track him."

Adam thought about it for a few seconds then said, "He'll go to ground. We'll just have to look for him the old fashioned way."

"No, we will. You shouldn't even be out here," Shalimar stated firmly.

One look at the blond woman's determined face and Adam knew there would be no changing her mind. It didn't help that Emma and Jesse wore similar expressions. Holding his hands up, he gave in, "All right, all right. I'll coordinate from Sanctuary and keep working on a way to keep Brennan alive in case something goes wrong with him."

Shalimar nodded and said, "Good. We'll drive the mustang back and get started first thing in the morning."

Adam wanted to protest, but knew that it was too late to start any serious searching that night. "Okay. We'll see you back at Sanctuary."

Following Jesse back to the Helix, Adam paused on the ramp, sensing something, feeling like he was being watched. Frowning, he paused and looked sharply around the area, but saw nothing out of place. A few drunks littering corners, broken windows and graffitied buildings. Shaking his head, Adam crossed the threshold and the vehicle closed up behind him.

* * * *

Brennan watched as Adam paused to look around, grateful for his concealing place. Jesse would have to go and spill the beans. Sighing to himself as first the Helix and then the Mustang left, he
uncurled from the bench and grimaced at the smell of the bum's coat that had rendered him invisible in plain sight. He tossed it and the promised ten bucks to the old man lying on the pavement beneath the bench and said, "Thanks, man."

Grinning to reveal several missing and rotted teeth, the man replied, "No problem. Good luck, kid and don't let the aliens getcha."

Laughing softly, knowing the old man had no idea how that had actually almost happened, Brennan repeated, "Thanks, man," and started walking in the opposite direction of the city. He didn't know where he was going yet, but away was the best plan he could come up with.

Brennan knew that something was going to happen to him, he could feel it, and he knew it was going to be bad. He didn't want any of them around when it did.

END