Title: Hiding Your Stash When Chocolate Is Outlawed

Author: Scribe

Fandom: Original 'essay'

Pairing: NA

Rating: G

Summary: Tips for hiding candy when the buttinskis outlaw it.

Archive: Sure. Tell me where, and give credit.

Status: Done

Sequel/Series: Um, I guess it's a sequel to 'It's official--the Diet Nazis have taken over

Disclaimer: All mine, and copyrighted.

Warnings: Silliness

Notes: Yes, I know he dropped the lawsuit. Apparently his last brain cell woke up.

Hiding Your Stash When Chocolate Is Outlawed
by Scribe

Places to hide M-n-Ms in case the Diet Nazis win:

Get a silk flower, pour them in the vase, and claim they're colored pebbles.

Hide them in a pair of maracas--they'll rattle, but you might get some cracked candy shells.

Rub the Ms off, put them in a used pill vial, and tell cops that they're vitamins for your pony.

Rub off the Ms and tell the cops they're counters for your Bingo game.

Use Karo syrup (edible) to stick them to a clean board or tile. Make pretty pictures. Tell the cops that it's a mosaic.

Sort out the greens and hide them in a bag of frozen peas. Do the same with the yellow ones, but put them in with the niblet corn.

I could say that if you had a rabbit you could hide your browns and tans, but that would be disgusting.

Hiding York Peppermint Patties, large size:

Layer them in a stack of coasters.

Claim that they are miniature hockey pucks (works best if you live in a Northern state where hockey playing is actually common).

Slip them in CD cases. Make sure you don't get drunk and actually try to play them.

Claim that they're really fudge covered Oreos. No, wait--those are banned, too.

Claim that they are the dog's chew toy. Be warned that the cops may want you to actually give them to the dog.

Use decorator icing to write the name of a casino on them, and claim they are souvenier poker chips from your vacation in Las Vegas.

Hiding Raisinettes and Goobers:

See the 'rabbit' suggestion for M-n-Ms.

Hiding Reese's Peanutbutter cups:

Slip them under a chair/table leg and claim they are 'levelers'.

Turn them upside down and stand a Barbie on them, claiming that they are display stands. (Might also work for York Peppermint Patties).

Claim that they are just little novelty containers for your peanutbutter. You may be forced to make a sandwich out of them.

END