Archive: yes

Disclaimer: None of these characters belong to me; I’m just borrowing them. No sexy Oz inmates or members of their immediate families were harmed in the writing of this story.

Warning: This was spur-of-the-moment fanfic, not beta’d and not in the best of taste.

"…and that’s why I don’t live with my mom and my stepfather anymore," finished little Timmy O’Toole, taking a step back from the podium and beaming proudly.

"Very good, Timmy," said Mrs. Lansdale, watching as he sat back down at his desk. "Our next student to read their essay will be Holly. Holly, why don’t you come on up, so we can all hear about your family."

The class’s eyes turned collectively to the smiling little blonde girl as she stood up and went to the front of the room, clutching her report in her hands.

"My Family, by Holly Beecher," she began.

"My name is Holly Beecher and I live in a big house with my daddy and my other daddy. My daddy’s a lawyer. My other daddy’s an ‘independent contractor’."

"My real daddy met my other daddy, Uncle Chris, when he was in prison. He went to prison because he ran over a little girl on her bicycle while he was drunk. Uncle Chris says that daddy got ‘screwed by the system’, but he was kind of glad he did because otherwise they wouldn’t have met each other."

"Other people in my family are my grampa. My grampa didn’t like Uncle Chris at first, because he was in prison. Uncle Chris said that daddy was in prison too, so what did that make him, and then daddy got mad and had to yell at them both. After that they liked each other. I used to have a brother, but he died. My mommy died too, so I went to live with my grampa until daddy and Uncle Chris got out of jail. Daddy’s case got overturned and Uncle Chris got paroled, so now I live with them. The End."

Mrs. Lansdale looked at the girl a little dubiously. She’d heard about the girl’s unusual family background -- everyone at the school had -- but she seemed to be doing all right. And when she thought about it, Holly’s family was probably no weirder than any other kid’s in the class. "Very good, Holly.
You may sit down."

Besides, the two former Oz inmates really kept those rowdy PTA meetings in line.