On the Outside 6: Actions Speak Louder

Archive: C5, TS...anyone else, please let me know first...ty!

Disclaimer: See Part 1

Rating: NC-17

Notes: Well, as the title says, "Actions Speak Louder" -- so I won't say much except by looking at the rating there's a pretty good chance things are looking up for our boys.

Thank you, thank you, thank you, everyone who has sent fb on the story so far. Your thoughts, comments and encouragement are greatly appreciated. And to all the other authors, now that RL has calmed down a bit I'm finally going to get a chance to catch up on all the new stuff, I can't wait! Also, to Caly, thank you for being patient with me and my little quirks...you're a saint. Oh yeah, and the beta too (hehe)

On the Outside 6: Actions Speak Louder
by Jacki

Chris woke to the comforting warmth of Toby's body draped over him. The blond's head was nestled in the crook of his shoulder, Toby's arm thrown haphazardly across his taut abdomen and their legs tangled together. Chris spent years avoiding this kind of emotion, this contentment, this profound sense of safety; feeling it now scared him. He had never believed that he would again be capable of such feelings, much less that there was a chance they would be reciprocated.

Chris could feel the tension crawling into his shoulders as his mind replayed the last time he had felt anything like this. His muscles knotted as the sensation slithered down his spine. Years ago there had been another person who had made him feel this way; Jake. Normally, when thoughts of Jake threatened to surface, he pushed them away; there was no point in remembering. This time however he couldn't stop them; the memories swirled unbidden as an empty, hollow feeling settled in the pit of his stomach. Chris had fucked that up and Jake and his family had ultimately left town. He had been careful not to get too close to anyone after that, until now.

Toby snuggled a little closer against Chris's shoulder; involuntarily Chris flinched. Unconsciously Toby reacted, his eyes began fluttering as he slow woke. He tenderly began stroking Chris's chest, his thumb tracing small circles on the smooth flesh. Chris recoiled from the light touch. Toby raised his head, confusion clouding his eyes as he tried to search Chris's face for some
explanation. He didn't have a chance because Chris immediately rolled away from him. Chris rose from the bed quickly and hurried toward the bathroom.

Toby was suddenly alone in the bed, the only evidence that Chris had been there was the depression of his head upon the pillow and the warmth of the sheets where his body had rested. Toby's mind was spinning, he had no idea why Chris had so abruptly pulled away.

`What did I do? Was I holding on too tight?'

Toby tried to wrap his mind around what had just happened, he assumed he must have done something. Again. This time he hadn't even opened his mouth and he still screwed up. Toby's attention shifted to the partially closed bathroom door as he heard the sound of the water
being turned on. Toby pulled himself off the bed and headed toward the bathroom and Chris. He was determined not to let whatever had just happened get between them again. Toby had risked everything he had always known in the past twelve hours and he wasn't going to give up easily; not when he knew in his heart that this could be the best thing that ever happened to him.

Toby stood in the doorway of the bathroom, quietly. He watched as Chris stood over the sink, noticing the almost imperceptible tremor of his hands as he lowered them under the rushing water. Chris cupped his palms and splashed some water against his cheeks, he inhaled sharply as the coldness hit his warm skin. Toby continued his scrutiny; it was obvious that Chris was consciously trying to regulate his breathing, each inhalation was controlled.

Toby cautiously walked closer, stopping right behind Chris. Chris sensed the movement and looked up into the mirror. Their eyes met; Toby could see the look in his own eyes reflected back at him in Chris's gaze. Long moments passed as the two men stood staring, searching one another's faces for some sign telling them what to do now. Toby finally broke the stifling silence with a tentative whisper.

"Chris, did I do something...wrong?"

"No," Chris answered quickly, his voice gruff from sleep. He had been watching Toby's eyes intently while he asked his question, but suddenly Chris was having trouble bearing the weight of Toby's scrutiny. Chris closed his eyes.

Toby still had no idea what had happened or why Chris had pulled away and that one word answer did nothing to assuage his nerves. He ventured another small step forward, inching closer to the other man.

Chris could feel the heat emanating from Toby's body spreading across his back, even though they weren't touching the closeness ignited every nerve ending beneath his skin. He took a deep breath, preparing himself for what was to come. Chris turned around to face Toby, their bodies only inches apart.

Instead of words, Chris spoke to Toby with his touch; he wrapped his arms around the blond's narrow waist as he lowered his face, crushing his lips against the other man's mouth. He deftly maneuvered them back out of the bathroom, their lips never breaking their physical contact. Stumbling over one another's feet, Chris guided them back onto the downy mattress.

Toby couldn't help but respond to the supple lips that had so eloquently quieted any further conversation. His mind tried to make sense of this impulsive kiss, but his body pushed all thoughts from his head. Chris's touch, even the most feather light caress sent shivers through his body, seemed to override any rational thought. At that moment the only coherent concept he was able to hold on to was the fact that he never wanted this to end; Toby wanted only to touch Chris and to allow Chris to touch him in return.

The two men tumbled onto the bed, pulling apart slightly to regain their breath before immediately resuming their passionate activity. Chris's tongue twisted, writhing rhythmically as he attempted to mark every hidden crevice of Toby's warm, wet mouth. The depth of the kiss seemed never-ending; each movement finding another bit of uncharted territory.

A quiet rumbling built between them. The two men broke apart abruptly, laughter escaping from them both simultaneously.

"Guess our stomachs decided to put their two cents in," Chris gasped through his laughter. "So, first food. Then...then we'll talk, okay?"

Toby could only nod in agreement, his laughter stifling his voice. The two men rose from the warmth of the bed and padded out into the kitchen in search of sustenance. Chris rummaged around in the cabinet above the sink, finally finding what he was looking for, with a flourish he presented Toby with a brand new box of blueberry PopTarts.

"Breakfast is served," he announced. Toby had thought he was done laughing, but Chris's words brought another fit of laughter to the surface. Toby took the box from Chris's outstretched hand and plugged in the toaster he found on the counter. Chris, meanwhile, busied himself with the coffeemaker. The two men continued their breakfast preparations in a comfortable silence.

A few minutes later, breakfast having been fully toasted and perked, Toby and Chris took their plates into the living room and settled on the couch. The comfortable silence that had enveloped them in the kitchen began to dissipate as the reality of their situation set in. Chris tried, lamely, to break the silence.

"So, how do you like it up here?"

"It's nice," Toby answered. "Never been anywhere like this before."

Chris lowered his head, a sad smile playing across his face as he studied the steam rising from his coffee cup. Of course Toby had never been anywhere like this before he thought sullenly; he was
probably used to servants and room service, not PopTarts and instant coffee. The uneasy silence between them lengthened.

Toby tried this time, "Weather's been kind of strange this year, huh?"

"Yeah," Chris replied noncommittally.

Conversation going nowhere fast, the two men concentrated on finishing their food and sipping their coffee. Chris couldn't help but watch Toby as he ate, but every time the blond's eyes almost
found his he turned back to his own plate. Their cat and mouse game continued throughout the meal. Chris tried to focus his mind on what he was going to say after they finished, that conversation could be the beginning of the most significant event of his life.

They dragged out their breakfast as long as possible, nibbling and sipping until they could no longer delay the inevitable. As their meal sped to a close, both Chris and Toby felt the weight of the moment. Uncomfortable as breakfast was, they were both loathe to move onto the next stage: The Talk.

Setting his empty plate on the coffee table, Chris tried to conquer the swarm of butterflies that had begun to flitter anxiously in his stomach. It was no use, as soon as Toby deposited his empty plate on the table Chris's nervousness went into overdrive. He knew he was going to have to say something, they couldn't avoid the issue forever.

Toby was battling his own uneasiness, nervous energy coursed through him. He was hopeful and yet utterly terrified of what was coming. Toby tried to think of something to say, but in his mind nothing sounded right. How were they going to sort anything out if they both just sat there, unable to speak.

Chris straightened himself on the couch, steeling his courage as he spoke, "I guess this is it then. Ummm...there are so many reasons why we shouldn't be doing this. We're just too different. You've never done anything like this before..."

Toby listened as Chris went on; everything he said made sense, but Toby still refused to accept it. He couldn't let this slip away, he had tossed and turned over this for so many sleepless nights and he had made his decision. He would do anything to have a chance, to see if what he felt was really there. Frantically his mind raced, trying to figure out how he could convince Chris that no matter their differences they had to at least give it a shot.

Toby decided to do the only thing he could think of; he moved closer to Chris, pressing himself against him as he pressed his lips against Chris's mouth, effectively halting any further speech. Chris was shocked by Toby's sudden descent, however he couldn't help but respond to the lightly probing tongue that was insistently assaulting his lips. Sighing softly, Chris parted his lips and gave Toby an open invitation for sensual exploration.

Toby crept even closer, straddling Chris's thighs as he pushed him down into the soft cushions. Chris raised his hands, twining his fingers in the silken strands of Toby's blond hair as he pulled him in even closer. Electricity surged between them as the kiss intensified. Toby whimpered into Chris's mouth as their kisses became heady and sweet, hot and desperate. Toby was leaning into
Chris as if he were melting against him. Chris felt Toby's erection rub against his own, jolting him back to reality. He gently pried his lips away from Toby.

"What are you doing?" Chris asked carefully. He looked at Toby, flushed and breathing heavily.

Toby slowed his breathing before answering. "I...want...you...completely."

Chris couldn't believe the words he heard; he had heard the same sentiment many times before but never had it been conveyed with such vulnerability. Just the tone of Toby's voice had left him
intoxicated.

The intensity of Chris's eyes captured Toby, hypnotizing him. Toby sensed that Chris was searching his face for some sign of uncertainty, he found none.

"Are you sure?" Chris whispered.

"Yes," Toby replied, laying his head against Chris's broad chest.

Chris could hear the conviction in that one word, he knew that Toby's offer wasn't being made lightly. He knew that if they were going to do this, it had to be right. Not here on the couch. "Bedroom," Chris murmured, placing a tender kiss on the top of Toby's head.

The two men pulled themselves apart and rose from the couch. Chris wound his fingers with Toby's as they walked quickly toward the bedroom. They moved to the side of the bed, Chris turned toward Toby closing his arms around the blond's slim waist and pulled him in closer. Their lips met again as Chris leaned in pressing his groin against Toby's, rubbing lightly and yet firmly from side to side. Chris felt himself begin to succumb to the sensation of their bodies moving together. He chided himself as he moved away a bit, smirking as Toby's hips jutted forward seeking to continue the contact. Their eyes locked and Chris realized that the lust in his own eyes was being reflected back at him.

Even though Toby's lust was evident, Chris knew he must be scared. He could only hope that he would be able to allay Toby's fears with his touch. To show him just how good it could be between them.

Chris gently pushed Toby down into a sitting position on the edge of the bed. "Lie back," Chris instructed as he moved to the other side of the bed and climbed in next to him.

Levering himself above Toby, Chris leaned in for another breath-stealing kiss. He brought his hand up to the front of Toby's shirt, stroking his chest absently. Chris's finger's played over the
blond's chest, purposely searching for his nipple hidden beneath the smooth cotton fabric. He knew he had located the tender nub when Toby's tongue plunged desperately into his mouth.

Chris's fingers continued their stimulating teasing, stroking softly until the soft nubs pebbled beneath his touch. Toby's back arched, his body aching for Chris to continue his gentle ministrations. Chris pulled away from Toby's warm mouth, his lips traveling down to the blond's neck as he left a wet trail along his cheek and jaw. He traced patterns across the soft skin, greedily inhaling Toby's scent. Chris reached he crease between shoulder and neck and began
sucking softly, he felt Toby's hand grasp the back of his head holding him tightly in place.

Toby trembled beneath Chris's skilled mouth, moaning quietly as Chris nipped lightly at the tender skin. Toby's breathing changed and his body writhed, legs thrashing and then stretching as his muscles tightened with arousal.

Chris's hand traveled downward, crawling spider light across Toby's taut, contracting abdominal muscles to the hem of his soft T-shirt. He slowly drew it up to expose pale, smooth skin. Chris again found the hardened nub of Toby's nipple; he resumed stroking and pinching it, rolling it with just the right amount of pressure between thumb and forefinger. Toby arched into Chris's touch, his body obviously yearning for more.

Chris's mouth left Toby's neck and crept lower, over the bunched T-shirt, until he reached the nipple; his mouth replaced his fingers. His tongue flicked over the tip as Toby exhaled, a long, ragged hiss. Chris concentrated on licking, sucking and nibbling as his hand sought out the other nipple, spreading his attentions between them.

Chris bit down on the nipple gently as his free hand found Toby's hard-on through his sweats. He pressed down firmly with the heel of his hand. Toby's hips thrust upwards, wildly seeking further contact.

"Oh God, Chris," Toby rasped, his hips rocking rhythmically against Chris's hand.

"Patience, Toby, patience," Chris replied quietly, slipping his hand away from Toby's groin. "It gets even better." His words said soothingly as he sought to remind himself of what was still to come.

Chris took this break in the action to help Toby tug his shirt over his head, proceeding to do the same with his own. He placed his hands on Toby's bare shoulders, stretching himself out over him. The meeting of their bare flesh like a match to wood.

Chris began tonguing Toby's ear and the sensitive skin behind it. He moved his hand back down onto Toby's chest; he caressed and petted everywhere, exploring the newly exposed skin. Chris slid his body down and began licking and sucking on the still hardened nipple. His hand traveled downward, his touch teasing and light with just enough pressure to frustrate Toby.

Toby attempted to push up again toward the teasing fingers, seeking a firmer touch, but Chris's body was draped over him just enough to preclude such movement. Toby could feel Chris's fingers sliding along his length, the friction of his boxers and the sweatpants heightening his arousal. Finally, he couldn't stand it any longer.

"Harder, Please," his voice came out roughly.

Chris looped his thumbs beneath the waistband of Toby's pants and helped him slide them down and off, dropping them into a heap on the floor. Chris drew his own pants down and they fell into the pile of clothes that was growing at the foot of the bed. He crawled back toward Toby, covering him almost entirely. Chris wanted to connect with as much of Toby's bare flesh as possible.

Chris leaned in kissing Toby's moist lips, slowly tracing his tongue along the kiss-swollen flesh. Slowly, he moved lower, his mouth blazing a fiery trail of kisses down Toby's neck, across his chest and then lower, grazing his tight abdomen. Chris's tongue dipped shallowly into Toby's navel. Swirling the flexible muscle around inside the small indentation; he could feel Toby's body quiver with each leisurely stroke.

Breaking the contact, Chris spoke softly as his fingers caressed Toby's trembling form. "Are you sure?"

Toby could only whimper in response, Chris took the muffled sound to be acquiescence.

Chris positioned himself between Toby's legs and lowered his head. He looked with admiration at the smooth, lean body that was displayed before him and only for him. Chris's eyes beheld the hardened, unrestrained cock and he was unable to control himself. Chris's lips parted without his knowledge and his tongue snaked out to wet them. He slid to his knees and fixed his mouth to envelope the warm, rigid cock. Hands resting on Toby's hips, Chris lowered his mouth.

Chris worked his tongue over the already cum dampened tip, tasting Toby's essence. He nibbled and licked the tender skin on the underside, while his right hand wandered lower to caress the heavy sac of Toby's balls. He sucked and pulled with his mouth as he gently manipulated Toby's balls, rolling them between his fingers. Chris noticed Toby's breathing change as he continued his
ministrations. Toby's breath was coming in ragged gasps. He slid his mouth over the shaft, losing himself in the taste and texture that was uniquely Toby.

Toby's body surged upward striving to make deeper contact with the hot, wet mouth that engulfed him, but Chris pulled back with each thrust. Toby bit back a scream and settled for a groan when Chris's mouth pulled away all together. "Chris..." Toby pleaded. "Please, please...don't stop..."

Chris couldn't deny the desire evident in Toby's voice; he slipped his mouth back over Toby's turgid cock. He could feel the tension slip from Toby's body as he gently sucked. Chris slipped his mouth off for a heartbeat, just long enough to wet his right middle finger before wrapping his mouth back on Toby's swollen shaft. He flattened his tongue and laved at the underside, as he slowly slipped his wet finger down over the heavy balls to the opening behind them. Toby twitched and tightened, gradually his body relaxed, giving in to the lazy circles Chris was tracing around the tight hole.

Chris increased the circling pressure of his finger against the taut opening until he felt it give a bit. His finger slid in cautiously; Chris was careful not to go too far before Toby was completely ready.

Toby felt the intrusion and sucked in a raspy lungful of air. "Chris," he sighed, his voice barely above a whisper.

Chris looked up, his eyes locking on Toby's. He was telling him silently that if he wanted to stop all he had to do was tell him. Chris recognized the understanding in Toby's stormy blue eyes.

"Don't...stop," Toby's voice faltered.

Chris wrapped his tongue around the length of Toby's shaft, sliding his mouth up and down as he increased the pressure. His finger remained still as Toby's body molded itself around it. Only after he felt the tight ring of muscle relax did he try to slide in another fraction of an inch. Chris continued his slow and steady exploration with his finger until it would reach no further. Chris slowed, deepening the pull of his mouth and increasing the movement of his finger. He listened as Toby's breathing became shallow and his body began moving in counterpoint to the gentle probing.

Chris drew his finger out slowly. He reached to the bedside table with his left hand, pulling open the drawer he extracted a tube of lube. Slathering the gelled substance on two of his fingers, he
warmed the lubricant before returning his attentions to Toby's tight opening. Chris slipped the first finger in for a moment then withdrew it, with his next movement he pushed them both in. He
waited for the muscles to relax before moving again. Toby groaned. Carefully, Chris began stroking, pushing his fingers in and then pulling them back out slowly. Chris could feel Toby's hole pulsating in reaction to his touch. He curled his fingers slightly as the slid over Toby's prostrate. Toby's body arched in response and a hoarse cry flew unexpectedly from his mouth.

"Unnnggghhhh..."

The gentle fingers moved in and out with a slow, steady rhythm. Toby felt Chris's hot, sweet mouth slip over his erection once more and he groaned in pleasure. When the long fingers turned, an explosion of sensations rocked his body. Toby's back arched and he ground out a unintelligible sound. Before he could recover, his body responded to the touch again.

Hovering on the brink of orgasm but unable to reach it, Toby's voice was a harsh rasp, "Chris ... please.". His lean body shivered as a fine sheen of sweat erupted over his skin.

Chris could see the passion, the desire, the hunger and the raw need emanating from Toby's eyes. He knew instinctively what Toby was asking. "You're sure?" he asked, his voice only slightly above whisper.

"I've never been more sure of anything," Toby answered, the tone of his voice undeniable. Toby's fingers grazed along Chris's cheek, a light caress.

Chris captured Toby's mouth in a deep kiss. He reached over once more grabbing a condom out of the open drawer. Chris coated his fingers with more lube before sliding the slicked digits into the tight opening. Gradually, he inserted two fingers deeply, not so much to stimulate this time but to stretch and massage the inner muscles and coax them into relaxation.

Chris carefully removed his fingers. He leaned up on his elbows and looked at Toby.

"Relax, as much as you can. I'll go slowly. It might hurt a little, but try not to focus on that. Focus on how good it feels. If you want me to stop, just tell me. I don't want to hurt you." Chris made sure that Toby understood everything he said. He didn't want to screw this up.

"OK," Toby assured him.

Back on his knees, Chris quickly retrieved one of the condoms from the open drawer. He ripped it open and rolled it on. Chris applied an ample amount, spreading all over the surface of his cock. He repositioned himself between Toby's legs and then adjusted himself until his cock was poised at Toby's entrance.

Gently, Chris pushed the head of his cock into the snug hole, an inch at a time. He felt the automatic contraction of Toby's muscles as they reacted to the intrusion. Chris didn't move as he allowed Toby to relax and conform around his hardness.

Toby's breathing was shallow, but loud. He forced himself to relax as he felt himself being entered, his body jolted by the penetration. Hurts. . . burns, were his immediate reactions. Too much . . . it's too . . . He took some deep breaths, focusing on the feeling of filling his lungs with oxygen. His body slowly accepted the intrusion. The initial pain was soon replaced with a pleasant feeling of fullness and pressure.

Chris pushed the last few inches and he was completely immersed in Toby's tightness. He steadied himself and took several deep breaths. Chris looked at Toby, his eyes were closed. He leaned over and caught his lips in a kiss of reassurance.

Tenderly, Chris began to move. He withdrew from the heat of the tight channel and slowly pressed back in. He continued, focused on keeping his strokes long and smooth.

"Oh, God. That feels . . oh, God." Toby's mumbling was almost incoherent.

Toby felt Chris begin moving again, his strokes harder. Still carefully, but faster and deeper and Toby was lost in it, almost afraid he would never find his way back.

Chris raised himself up a bit and tilted Toby's hips, sliding in at a different angle, making sure his cock brushed against Toby's prostate.

"Ahh!" The loud, short gasp escaped from Toby, repeated with each of Chris's thrusts. He couldn't help it. Toby tried to bite back the sound, but he couldn't keep it bottle up inside. Every nerve in his body was sizzling and every bone felt as if it were melting. Nothing would ever be the same after this. This was mind shattering.

Chris reached between them and closed his hand around Toby's cock, without interrupting his rhythm. Chris's hand stroked and squeezed with just the right amount of pressure and speed.

Toby's feelings became more specific, arcing to channel into his spine, his balls and his cock. A few more strokes of Chris's talented hand and another stroke of his cock across that magical spot
took him to the edge. Suddenly he was there, suspended for an eternity until he finally plunged into euphoric spasms as his orgasm overtook him.

Chris had been so immersed in the sensations of Toby's hot, tight channel that he hadn't realized Toby had been so close. His hand continued its up and down motion as Toby came, accompanied by a long, guttural yell, his semen shooting across them both.

Chris felt the contractions of Toby's inner muscles and tried to hold on just a little longer. It was no use, he lasted only a few more thrusts before giving in to his own orgasm with a growl. Chris's
cock continued to spurt stream after stream long after he felt the need to collapse in exhaustion.

Chris opened his eyes; he was greeted by the sight of Toby smiling up at him, his arms around Chris's back massaging gently. Chris captured Toby's mouth in a lethargic kiss, he didn't have the
strength for more. Then he smiled.

Toby drew Chris down beside him. He watched as Chris discarded the used condom and pulled a towel from a chair near the bed. They cleaned each other off tenderly. Chris dropped the soiled towel onto the floor beside the bed before dropping onto his back.

Toby burrowed up against him, settling his head in the crook of Chris's neck. Their harsh breathing gradually returned to normal and soon the were both drifting on the edge of sleep.

Toby's mind was muddled, the sex had been more than he could have ever imagined. It had felt so good, so right. But he knew that they were going to have to talk eventually. Toby didn't want to think about that right now though, all he wanted to do was lay, wrapped in Chris's embrace, the sound of Chris's heartbeat lulling him to sleep.

Chris's eyes fluttered as he felt Toby cuddle up next tom him. One hand absently stroked Toby's smooth back, the other carded through his wavy blond hair soothingly. Chris had never felt that fulfilled, that satiated. He'd slept with innumerable others, but this time he had felt more than usual. This time there was a connection beyond the physical. Chris acknowledged that they were going to have to talk, eventually, but now was not time. Now was the time to sleep, to just succumb to the safe, comfortable feeling that surged through him as the heat of Toby's warm body enveloped him.

-TO BE CONTINUED-