AUTHOR: PEJA
FANDOM: THE SENTINEL
RATING: PG, suicidal action
PAIRING: JIM/BLAIR
EMAIL: daltonavon@yahoo.com
FEEDBACK: The story lives or dies on reader response.
AUTHOR'S WEBSITE: https://www.squidge.org/~peja/
ARCHIVE: to the WWOMB, any others ask first.
SUMMARY: Jim is in trouble.
By PEJA
Blair stared at the ringing phone, silently counting, nine....ten...eleven...twelve.....
He snatched up the receiver. "Sandburg."
"Blair?" a familiar voice came back. One tinged with panic.
Frowning, Blair began to hang up without answering.
"Dammit, Sandburg. Are you there? Answer me, dammit. This is important."
Sighing, he brought the phone back to his ear. "What do you want, Simon?"
"Oh, god, Blair. Thank god I found you."
"I'm not with the force any longer, Simon," Blair said slowly, as if he feared the words would shatter what was left inside him. "Not connected with anything force related. And I don't want to...."
"Sandburg, Jim needs you."
Blair's pale features convulsed and he swallowed a broken sob Unsuccessfully. "No."
"Sandburg that is not an option. Jim needs you. Now. I can't reach him."
An uncontrollable shuddering claimed his body and his breathing came in quick, panicked pants. "Don't do this to me, Simon."
"Blair, listen to me. I'm at the loft. Came to check on Jim when he didn't show up for shift. He's zoned, Blair. With his gun to his head.
Blair bolted from his chair, then slumped back down when is legs refused to hold him up. "What?"
"It looks like he zoned in the middle of a suicide attempt, Sandburg. I tried to take the gun away from him but if I get close he starts to squeeze that damn trigger. When I back off he eases up. God, man, you have to get yourself over here. I don't know what to do."
"You don't know what you're asking."
"Jim, don't. Blair, say you're coming, kid. Tell him now."
"Yeah, okay." Blair shouted back into the phone. "I'll be there as son as I can."
"That's right Jim. Ease up that trigger finger, Ellison. Your partner's coming right now. You want to be here when he arrives, don't you?" A pause. "Blair, if this man was ever important to you forget the traffic laws. I'll radio dispatch and clear the path for you. Just get your ass here now."
********
Taking a deep, steadying breath, Blair climbed the stairs to the loft on wobbly legs. This was way too much, way too soon coming back here where......Don't think about it, Blair. A friend is in trouble. Jim needs you,
"Sandburg, thank god you're here." Simon said as the TA reached the top. "Christ, kid, you look as bad as Ellison."
"Nice of you to notice, Simon." Blair came to a complete stop, his eyes widening. "Jim. My god, Simon, why haven’t you got the gun away from him yet?"
The black man scowled. "You think I haven't tried. Blair, do something, dammit."
Blair nodded, creeping into the center of the room. "Have you called for help?"
Simon remained tellingly silent.
"Simon...?"
"No, dammit. I wanted to keep this between the three of us if I could. This will ruin his career if it comes out, Blair." Simon stared into Blair's unblinking gaze. "Do something."
Sighing, Blair took a step toward the distraught Sentinel. Jim's finger tightened on the trigger. Blair paled and back-pedaled, watching the tension ease in that killing finger.
Blair glanced at Simon and received a shrug in return.
A look of resignation crossed Blair's lean features. "Okay, Simon, you might want to leave us alone here, man."
"This is not the time to make jokes, Sandburg."
"I am so serious, Captain. If you stay you are going to hear some things that might not please you."
"Like what I'm seeing pleases me, huh? My two best people are self-destructing before my eyes and there's not a damn thing I can do to help them. You really think anything else might upset me? For God's sake, I can't get any more upset. I'm not leaving, Sandburg."
Blair's lifeless gaze lingered a moment on the Captain's before he nodded. "Don't say I didn't warn you." He turned back to Jim. "Hey, Jim, about this morning...."
"This morning?" Simon snapped.
Blair hurled a silencing glare. "I've been thinking. A lot. Serious thinking, ya know? And I'd like to come back like you asked."
A long silence reigned.
"Making love with you last night....
"Making love?" Simon choked, "You mean like..."
"Simon, shut up, will you?"
"But..."
"Okay, yeah. I made love....total commitment love...with Jim. Told you you were not going to like what I had to say here. You chose to hear it anyway. Now shut up or go downstairs and wait."
Simon folded up on the floor, arms crossed
Blair nodded and turned his attention back to the soul-wounded man with a gun. "Jim, you asked me to come home. Do you still want me here, man? Cause I want to come home. I've been thinking about it ever since I left, man. Knew walking away wasn't the answer soon as I hit the pavement, but I needed time to process, you know?"
The gun shook in Jim's hand, wavering. Blair took a step closer. "Jim, if you do this, we won't have a chance to work things out. That's just not fair, man. I mean, I've never really had the desire to stay before. Not with anyone....well, maybe briefly with Mya, but it was nothing like what I feel for you, man. With you I want forever. Imagine that. Me, Blair-fuck-a-table-leg-Sandburg, wanting to spend forever with another man. Hell, I've always been woman oriented. That's why it was so damn hard for me to accept."
Blair was close enough to take the gun now. His hand moved slowly to cover Jim's. "Give me the gun, man. Don't take away our only chance for real love, Jim. Don't leave me alone again."
Jim slumped in on himself as Blair slipped the gun from his loose grip. Blair hunkered down, sliding the gun across the floor to Simon and turned back to Jim.
Before his eyes, Jim wilted on the bed, curling up in a fetal position locked in the zone. Non-responsive.
-20-