Those days are gone

by Mary Eve Parker

Fandom: Pretender/Xfiles

Disclaimer: I don't own Dana, Fox, Parker and Jarod - they belong to 1013 & CC and on the other hand to Craigh and Steve. I am not making any money with this, its just fun and I will give them back alive when I am finished with them :)

Rating: NC 17 because of good reasons (i.g a little f/f)

Keywords: S/jealousy, MSR, MPJR, Babyfic, little slash but not really worth mentioning, ...

Those Days Are Gone

By Mary Eve Parker

It was too early for a weekend to get out of bed, somehow I didn’t really want to get down and make some coffee. Just staying in bed would feel so right, so perfect. I just want to relax and get a clear head again.

The last week had been horrible. My health wasn’t the best, my ulcer worse than ever – sickness all over. I couldn’t believe that I hadn't taken a day or two off but this was not Parker style so I had to stay and work every day with even more breaks to run to the toilette and less explanations for Sydney who was the one who was bugging me with questions.

I was lying awake in my bed, still naked, not even pulling the robe from next to me over my body. I wouldn’t say that I studied my body, no, I knew it too well – I was just staring at an imaginary point somewhere above me.

Suddenly I heard the doorbell. God who would disturb me on my first free day in a month? I needed to kill this person. I pulled the robe over and took my weapon from my nightstand. Slowly I made my way downstairs to see who the hell was disturbing me in the morning.

I opened the door and nobody was there, nobody out there.

"Who the fucking hell thinks this is fun?" I yelled and had nearly closed the door when I saw the wooden basket in front of me. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing there. What was in front of me? I was in shock. A baby. A newborn.

I looked around to see if I could see somebody. But nobody was there, not even the wind made a sound. I got down and grabbed the basket and took it inside, closing the door with my leg. I sat the basket down on the couch table and sat down, opposite it.

I couldn’t believe it. A baby in front of my door. Who could be so insane and want me to raise a child? Me, the person who isn’t even able to take care of myself? A lame joke.

Now I was looking at the baby. She had a soft skin, baby skin, typical. I wasn’t even able to think clearly! Her black hair was soft and fluffy, and her eyes blue. Cute. God it was a baby and every baby was cute.

A letter? There must be a note or something like that with the baby. Somebody telling me if it was a boy or a girl, the name and all these things.

And here it was, one hand of the baby holding, it the other hand tucked neatly under the purple baby blanket.

You don’t know me and I don’t want you to search for me because it’s not secure anymore, not now. Now, you have the baby and I feel fine to know that you will take care of your little darling on your own. I don’t feel able to do it anymore. I can't work for the Centre a minute longer. I've done this job for to long now and I saw too many women with sad faces in my dreams- I have stolen their dreams. Like yours. This little girl is yours!

She was born a day ago and is absolutely healthy. She is a cutie. I found out that I was pregnant with your child when I was more than six months gone and I haven’t had the heart to let an accident happen. Normally they just impregnate me and that’s it but this time I got an internal mail from somebody, not signed with a name, telling me that it would be your gene I was carrying, yours and the ones from a guy named "J." in it. I don’t know him but I am sure you can find it out on your own.

When you read this letter I will be gone, forever.

R.

Ps. I haven’t named her. She is yours. "

"Holy shit." was the only possible thing for me to mumble.

I was sitting there in shock. I couldn’t believe it.

The moment was absolutely bad. I had a small operation a couple of days ago, nothing serious but I have to relax a little and a baby isn't the most positive thing for it.

The fact that I had a child was unbelievable. I really wasn’t able to believe it. Would I ever be able to do so?

So there were women who were being paid by the Centre to carry kids. I thought that these programmes had been stopped and cancelled ages ago. But it seems that these rumours I didn’t want to believe were true, fucking shit.

I wasn’t able to hold back tears, not able to do anything against it. What should I do now? I couldn’t let them know that I knew about their experiments, about the fact that they were creating a new generation of pretenders.

How many other women would be out there, who had given birth to one of my kids.

Remember Parker, remember …. so many things happened lately and I have been at the Renewal wing more than once, just to check things up. A couple of months ago, maybe it was already a year, I got shot into in my shoulder. I had been in there for about a week. Maybe then? Maybe.

I looked at the baby. She was looking at me too. I am not sure if I have ever seen a baby so young before. I don’t know. I haven’t ever been handy with kids. My friends, the ones I have had from boarding school, were mostly married with kids – the classic 1,5 kids family, with a dog and a picket fence.

Tears were running down my face, more than just running – I felt like a leaking river. I couldn’t believe that they have done something like that to me. No, not me. Daddy this ….

~*~

I slowly went down the building. Today was Monday and my weekend hasn’t been very relaxing. Mulder had called me today at 5am that he would need to see me a little earlier in our office I was really tired, more than normal – but he had begged and I had imagined his puppy look and couldn’t refuse.

I didn’t knock, just entered. It wasn’t his office anymore, it was ours and I was working hard on showing everybody that we were equal partners.

Before I entered the office I heard the end of a telephone call.

"Sure Parker …I will take care of your problem …. We haven’t seen each other in a long time, hon I know and I am really sorry for it." He was calling 0900-numbers from the office – interesting.

"Morning Mulder …. I am far away from calling it a good Morning." I nodded when I sat down slowly.

"I will get you some coffee Scully. Stay calm and smile," he mumbled before he headed to the coffee machine. Thanks god that we had our own one with good coffee and not this cheap office crap.

I watched him getting there, bending down a little. God his gorgeous rear end – not that I haven’t noticed it before, that it looks so good that I want to grab it. But this was fantasy – Dr. Scully’s Private Dreamworld.

I was sitting there at my desk watching him. I couldn’t get my eyes off his ass, never could. It was too amazing to miss a perfect view like this.

"We have to help a friend of mine and I really need your help here." Mulder said when he placed my mug in front of me.

"Why is it always me when it comes to one of your friends Mulder?" I asked him, not wanting to help again. The last time I ended waiting for him at a restaurant with one of his Oxford friends– he never showed up. Mulder was in Iowa while I had to deal with this macho.

"I haven’t seen her in ages and it seems to be that she is having serious problems."

"She?" I asked wondering a little. Why should I be dealing with one of his ex lovers? Why me? I am sure she would be a tall, dark haired or even blond woman with incredible legs and big boobs. His type.

"Yes, it’s a woman Scully. I handed her a ticked to Austria about a month ago and she is there now but was always causing troubles and nothing seemed to have changed during the years."

"Aha so she is in Austria at the moment?" I asked and really asked myself why I even tried to talk him out of it. I knew that it was quite impossible to resist one of his theories. Sometimes I was able to find a good excuse or my mum was my excuse or stuff like that. But I really couldn’t say now if he was coming with this puppy look.

"Yes she is in Tyrol at the moment, in a small cottage in the mountains but it’s getting winter there too and they have had the first snow a week ago."

"Don’t want to go to the cold parts of the world again Mulder." I whispered.

"She has a baby … it’s a rather complicated story at all. Our flights are going tomorrow morning at 4am, so I will pick you up at 2, just to be sure. They check everything a little more if you do this over sea flights at the moment."

"Mulder …."

He turned around and faced me. He hasn’t done that before. I mean he had gotten us tickets without asking me first but never in a personal case.

"What Scully?" He asked me questioning.

"It’s something personal, nothing to do with the X-Files." I said and if I would have had a chance to open the floor and jump in it – I would have done it.

"I know Scully and if you really don’t want to go with me I would understand it but I am not really good with female stuff so I wanted you to go with me. I really haven’t seen her in ages, just talked to her twice. I didn’t even see her when she picked up the tickets. I wanted her to be safe, that’s why she got a new ID from me and papers for this journey."

"Mulder you know that this was absolutely against all rules." I really tried to sound serious but somehow I couldn’t believe that my voice betrayed me.

"Come on. You know that (I never follow the rules and she was a friend who needed help. I know that you two are very different and I am not sure if you will get along with her but you are the only female I know." he said and pulled his puppy look out. Shit.

"That’s a lie Mulder! You know more females than I know." – And most of those were laid by you, apart from me. But dreams are dreams, not reality.

"Pleeaassee Scully." he said and moved over to my desk. "I will do whatever you want me to do when we are back. Just don’t let me go alone. I can't guarantee anything if I have to go on my own. Please Scully, you are my only support."

I looked up at him into his amazing hazel eyes with these golden points in it. Amazing. I could do that for days, just staring into them.

What should I do now? I couldn’t say no, not when he was begging like a little boy for a lollipop. And he was quite good at this begging thing because most of the time he got what he wanted from me. Shit I was so vulnerable if he was begging for anything.

~*~

I hadn't thought that he would bring a woman with him but he did. I hadn’t asked for it but Fox was always a specialist in these things. I am not sure how often he had helped me out of troubles while I’ve been in Oxford.

"Sleep darling, just sleep a little more." I said and brushed softly about my baby’s head. She was really a darling and since she was sleeping through the nights, my daily routines had gotten easier.

I was sitting in the airport of Innsbruck waiting for Fox and his "partner" to arrive. A female partner who hasn’t been laid by him? There must be something wrong with her then I guess.

I was sitting there, Caroline sleeping in her stroller. She was cute and three months old now. Life had gotten me into serious troubles in Blue Cove and Caroline was my final reason to run away. To run and not be chased by anybody. Nobody ever found out where I was. I called Fox and asked for help and he helped me. Like always.

I have gotten a new ID and papers for Caroline. Now I was Georgia Sanders. I really hate this name and thanks god that I am not very sociable. There is no reason to tell people my name though.

Their plane was late, over an hour now. My belly was growling and I couldn’t resist ordering some toast and mineral water.

After another hour I finally saw the doors open and a lot of people heading outside. Then there was Mulder. God he was looking like twenty years ago. Gorgeous. Handsome. Trained.

"Parker." he said and headed with a big grin towards me and Caroline, a small woman with fire red hair behind him. He hugged me tight and pressed a soft kiss on my cheek.

"So this is little Caroline" he said and bent down to the baby. "Sorry … Parker this is Dana Scully …. Scully this is Sarah Parker."

"Hello" she said and we shook hands. Now I understood why they were just partners. She wasn’t his type. She was short with fire red hairs, soft freckles and a slim body, looked like small tits and she didn’t seem to be one of those Agents who would be able to break a rule.

I looked at Mulder who had gotten Caroline out of her stroller and pressed her firmly against his chest. She was wide awake and smiling at him.

"How far along are you?" Dana Scully asked me. She had noticed my belly. Yeah me being pregnant –what lovely news!

"About three months." I answered, coldly. She wasn’t a person I would put any trust in.

"You are showing at an early state!" she mentioned when we headed to the car.

It was true – I was showing early and I wasn’t really willing to be pregnant. But this was another story.

~*~

This was a typical Mulder woman! Shit! I thought I was behind this jealousy. Even with her softly showing belly, even this hard bulk, she was an amazingly beautiful woman with a strong mind, I guess.

But something wasn’t right about her. I haven’t a clue what it was and I am not even sure if I really want to know it because even now I am uncomfortable in this situation.

Sarah didn’t even try to flirt with Mulder, don’t ask me why, but at the moment she doesn’t seem to be interested into him. I wonder why! But I really have to thank her for that because if she would be doing it, I couldn’t guarantee anything. I am really jealous even if a woman just gives him a smile, a small part of my heart dies.

Mulder was so perfect, so handsome and the most caring man I have ever met. On the other hand I haven’t met too many men in my life who got that near towards me.

She was wearing a small pair of warm slacks, woollen, I think, and a thick, skinny pullover. Her hair was nearly black and her eyes, like mine, ice blue. I am not sure if she was able to smile when the baby wasn’t around. I also noticed that she wasn’t nursing the baby. She was giving her the bottle and this at such an early age.

Mulder was driving the car while Sarah was feeding the hungry baby. She was really cute. I haven’t seen a lot of babies lately because I refused to get in contact with these sweet creatures. It was still causing a lot of pain inside and I am sure that Mulder had noticed it. Hasn’t he? No he hasn’t! Shit. He was still telling her how cute her little girl would be and how much she was looking like her mother.

"Stop it Fox, please." Sarah said and looked back towards me. "You two don’t know the full story and I am still not able to tell but let’s just say that things aren’t as easy as they seem to be. Okay?" she said with a low voice, "And please stop asking me about the baby Fox, stop bugging me with questions, for the moment!"

This woman was everything I wasn’t. She might not be Ms. Super Boobs but well she was tall and looked like an angel –with cold icy eyes.

Somehow it feels that they haven’t been the closest friends during their years.

"So how are you Ms Scully?" she asked me and looked backwards, towards me.

"Well call me Dana please." I nearly whispered, "Thanks I am fine, just a little tired."

"Well I understand I guess. When we are up at the house I am sure you can find a place to sleep, a calm, warm and silent one."

"Thanks" was the only thing I was able to answer her before Caroline started to whimper a little.

"Calm down honey" Parker whispered, "Everything is fine. We’ll be home in a couple of minutes."

~*~

This woman Mulder came with is somehow strange. I don't know why she is only nice to me when Caroline isn't around. Well nice is not really the correct word - she speaks with me when the baby isn’t around would be what I meant to say.

She is a silent and hot blooded woman, I can tell this from her eyes but somehow she is hiding something deep inside.

I showed them their room. My cottage was small so they had to share a room but he said that it wouldn’t be the first time so he was the one who was sleeping on the sofa.

God! I was hungry again. I could eat all day long and thanks to god that I’ve ever had any morning sickness.

"Can I help you with anything?" –Fox asked me standing behind me in the kitchen.

"No thanks" I nearly whispered. He hasn’t changed a lot and the little changes he went through only made him more handsome! He was a little thinner than the last time I saw him but god this small glasses in his hands.

It had been long since I’d seen a handsome guy. Here where I was living now or shall we call it hiding, there aren’t many males around.

"Does your friend need some sleep?" I asked him.

"I guess … I haven’t been able to give her a lot of time to decide what to do. I told her to pack and that our flights are going the next day and that was it. Please Sarah understand her, its not easy at the moment- nothing is easy now."

"Well I guess than she deserves some sleep."

"I see those dark rings under your eyes and I think that they don’t do you well." – God he was cute – "Go get some sleep and I will look after Caroline."

"Have you ever dealt with a baby?" I asked, just to be sure that he won’t kill her."

"It’s a long time since the last time I babysat but on the other hand I was told that it should be like riding the bike."

I turned around and headed to the living room door, turning a last time around I said, "Thank you Fox and I really hope it’s like riding a bike."

With these words I went to bed. It was just afternoon but going to Innsbruck and afterwards up into the mountains again wasn’t a journey I do every day.

~*~

God this had been good, I thought. The bed was cold and I was still fully dressed and glimpsed the little watch I had posted on the nightstand – 7pm. I got out of bed, not even putting on shoes and went to the living room.

And what did I see there? Mulder was laying on the sofa, the baby pressed against his chest sleeping – Caroline was fully awake. He had his arms around her to make sure she wouldn’t fall off him.

Slowly and with tiny steps I went towards him and took her from him. She was a beautiful baby.

I sat down at the kitchen table and gave her the warm bottle that had been waiting in a bottle warmer. She didn’t refuse drinking because I was a foreigner, no, she was drinking like a baby bear. So cute.

I hadn’t seen Sarah stepping into the room and I don’t know how long she’d been standing in the doorframe, not that I cared.

She was really tall and must have been very thin before her pregnancy. But let me think of it – it doesn’t match. God I am a doctor and I haven’t noticed it. Darn I am stupid.

She can't be that far along and this cute girl couldn’t be her daughter, it wouldn’t even work. It wasn’t possible. Dare to ask her, she will tell sometime.

I saw her and noticed that she was studying me. Sarah was wearing a black fuzzy robe and sweats, a pair of warm woollen socks and not to forget a remarkable smile when she noticed Mulder sleeping on her sofa. She was an amazing woman. Unfortunately.

Part Two

I saw her and noticed that she was studying me. Sarah was wearing a black fuzzy robe and sweats, a pair of warm woollen socks and not to forget a beautiful smile when she noticed Mulder sleeping on her sofa. She was an amazing woman. Unfortunately.

I noticed the look on her face – she doesn’t like me and I don’t care. Sarah and I seem to be day and night and on the other hand we seem to be a little alike – we both had the ability to build up walls and mine was up now. I wasn’t interested in getting hurt by her.

She was able to shoot this cold look at me, to stare at me like I wouldn’t be there on the other hand but when she noticed Mulder’s sleeping form on the sofa her look changed into a soft and caring one. Cute, but not funny. I was far away from feeling well in the situation. God, it was one of these situations Mulder had pushed me in again. On the one hand I should be happy to be away from Washington for a little while, and how often do you have the chance to go to Austria? But this sharing a room with Mulder was another thing that was really bothering me. My bed wasn’t a king size but a comfortable big double bed and he would have to sleep on the smaller old sofa. Well I would tell him after a night or two that we might change but I can tell the answer right now that he won’t agree with me. He is always so stubborn,

This Ms. Parker came towards me and stared at me while I gave her little daughter the bottle. Suddenly Caroline stopped sucking and she had fallen asleep while drinking. God this was a hard time for me. This was so hard, harder than I would believe that it could ever be. A baby in my arms and it was still alive. I just have gotten the report that I would never be able to give birth to a child, its not that I don’t care about it, I just haven’t ever thought about it. Not that anything had ever happened. Everything was platonic and it sucked. I haven’t even tried, not given me a chance to try things and this really bothered me a little lately.

¶¶¶

I haven’t had let anybody near Caroline since she was in my arms again, since I have realised that I was a mother. She was mine and only mine and it disturbed me a little to see her asleep in another woman’s arms. It seemed so natural but on the other hand it was so wrong.

Before Mulder left I had asked him to hand Jarod a message of mine. I am sure that he had started to think where I would be and searching for me. I wanted him to know that I was safe with our kids.

Even now, I could hardly believe I couldn't believe that we have children together, him and me. It was something new, absolutely new for me.

"Do you want to bring her to her crib", I asked Dana and stared at her.

My little Caroline had fallen asleep while nursing; it wasn’t the first time this happened but the first time in another woman’s arms.

"Can I hold her a little longer?" she asked me and tried to smile.

The feeling overcome me that something wasn’t right here but I didn’t dare to ask what it was – she was still a foreigner for me even if she was a doctor. She wasn’t a friend of mine.

Dana seemed to be a cold person, maybe the second ice queen, maybe, because I would bet that she is easier to melt down that I was and am.

We heard Mulder moving in sleep and she smiled at his winding form. Within a couple of seconds she had put Caroline into her crib and went to Mulder to put the blanket over him again. The last time he turned around he had put it on the floor.

If I saw it right, from my point of view, then she had placed a soft kiss on his forehead when she tucked it over his shoulders.

Slowly she came back and sat down opposite me at the kitchen table. I am not sure how long I stared at her but I noticed that she had a very beautiful face, strong lines and soft freckles all over and that she was hiding a beauty mark under the makeup, well the rest of makeup.

"So you are partners", I started.

"Yes we are for nearly a little over five years now."

"Hm … well so you know Fox very well."

"I guess I could say that, we are good friends."

"I am sure he is still this knight in shining armour."

"I am not sure what you mean by that if you talk about Mulder but he is still a gentleman if you mean that."

"Na … ", I had to giggle, "I didn’t mean that … when we met years ago in England he was able to get every women he wanted – but he was never interested in any. I mean sure there was Phoebe … I was told … but nobody else …. I mean … well is this still the same?"

From what I saw on her face I was able to bet that she was shocked, deeply shocked by my words. Did this woman not know the man I knew?

¶¶¶

I was more than sure that they were more than just partners. Look at her, I thought, it has to be more than just partners. He hasn’t changed a bit so how could she resist him?

Something was wrong

I can remember the time like it would have been yesterday when I met him at the Campus of Oxford, he was wearing this grey suit, which was perfect but a little small, too short to be honest. He was a tall guy and not in a sports team, except shooting. So I had the hots for him. God this seemed to be an eternity ago. Many things have changed and I have changed but he seemed to be the same.

He sat up on the sofa and now Dana was kneeling on the floor and they were talking about something. I couldn’t understand it.

It was nearly eight at night and I was tired, mostly because I knew that Caro would wake up around 2 again and that I had to feed her and that even with my small belly, sleeping isn’t comfortable anymore.

¶¶¶

I felt her eyes on me while I asked Mulder how he was. He looked pale and I asked him if he wouldn’t want to lie down in the bedroom for a little while. It was cooler there and the air was better.

He nodded slowly but told me that he would want to eat something before it.

I went to the fridge, "What does he want to eat? I mean I asked you to come so at least I can cook you something nice."

"Thanks but make yourself comfortable Sarah; I will make him a snack. He isn’t well so I guess he should go to bed and I will bring it when finished."

"No Dana I don't have anything to do and I really want to make him something to eat. It’s fine. Sit down and relax, everything is fine."

"Please look at you, in your condition you have to rest!"

"Guess what I am doing all day long? For sure I am not at the Olympics and in no condition to climb a mountain with the twins in my belly but I am able to make him a soup."

I was standing there, staring into her incredible blue eyes. She was cold and she couldn’t stand me, I was sure about that but who cares?

"Okay you can make the soup. I will bring him to bed to let him sleep a little more if this is okay with you Sarah."

She didn’t say a word, just went up from her sitting position and headed to the fridge.

"Mulder get up from here and go to the bedroom," I whispered into his ear. He slowly nodded and we both moved to the bedroom. He needed a little help because he felt dizzy – his warm arm resting around my shoulders.

"So get out of these," I pointed on his jeans, "and up with you into the bed."

"Scully you are sleeping in the bed, we agreed on in that!"

"Shut up Mulder before I really tickle or kick you. You are sick, Spooky, and you should be in bed – in a bed! I really don’t like sleeping on the sofa but I guess I am old enough to handle it."

"We could share this …. " - I realised he couldn't be really sick if he was teasing like this. Maybe a little sick, but not seriously ill.

Mulder had always been the kind of friend and mentor who wouldn’t go into too personal areas. He always knew how much is bearable, and what would be too indiscrete – at least he was that way around me.

I watched him stepping out of the jeans and folding them neatly over a chair, his shirt joined them. Neatly. He was standing in front of me just in his dark red cotton boxer shorts with little evils on the right leg. Cute. God this man was just gorgeous; I was unable to ignore that any longer.

Mulder had been the one for a long time, the only one I was really interested in but the looks he got from this "new" woman really weren’t just looks. There must have been something between them, more than just something. I am not yet sure if they had a relationship or not, I am far away from being sure, but somehow it feels like that.

Something nobody wants to talk about.

"Scully," he said, looking at me. I must have been standing here for minutes staring at the wall where he’d been standing before. Hopefully he hadn’t noticed.

"Yeah?" I asked silently and sat down next to him on the bed. I tucked him a little deeper under the blanket and got the second one from his bed on the sofa and put it over mine.

"Stay with me a little please! I don’t want to be alone …" he was talking like a baby, a small child or maybe even a young teenager. We’ve been through a lot during all those years. Often I have been at his hospital bed waiting for him to wake up and he had been at mine. Somehow we couldn’t be together for a long time, nor could we be apart.

"Sure Mulder, I will stay with you." I said and put my hand over his. "You shall relax a little and Sarah will bring you some soup soon."

"Sarah … ", Mulder said with a sigh, "The same as she was so many years ago."

"How did you meet?" I asked him and stared at our hands.

"You really wanna know?" I just nodded.

"I was at Oxford and one afternoon I was sitting in the park of the Girl’s College waiting for Phoebe to return from the library and there I met her. She was studying law but was just visiting a friend there. Later she started to make a year in Oxford. We met a couple of times behind Phoebe’s back because this woman got so jealous so easily. We’ve spent a couple of nights together but it wasn’t serious not for her or for me. She was always a cold person, never speaking about her feelings or what was going on in her head but she was good in bed …. I can't believe that I am telling you that" – nor could I believe he is telling me that – "so we went two different ways …. I joined the FBI and she started to work at her Dad’s company. I haven’t heard from her in ages, till she called and asked for help. I couldn’t refuse."

¶¶¶

I started to show early, I remembered the time when I was able to button my favourite pair of jeans. Today most of my trousers and skirts have elastics to grow with me.

Sometimes when I am in bed I imagine how it would be to have him here with me – Jarod - how it would feel to have somebody to warm your back at nights and get up when Caroline wakes up for her bottle or just somebody to talk to. I feel alone most of the time. I guess it feels a little better to have Mulder around.

He had always been the one I was able to talk to, even if not about my life. We'd been close the few weeks we were together. I never liked his girlfriend a lot. I met Phoebe once… I think that was her name. She shot me a look that told me "This is mine" referring to Mulder. I smiled at her with the knowledge that just he and I knew the truth about it.

Now I was cooking him a chicken noodle soup while she was maybe sitting at his bed or maybe even curled up around him. Who knows? I begged me to like her because she was a doctor. I will need one sooner or later but she wasn’t the type of woman I could get in touch with. She was maybe too much like me. The soup was nearly cooking and I got the noodles out of the fridge to warm them up for him. I mixed the chicken soup with the noodles and put them into a high, big mug.

Slowly going to see if Caroline was still asleep, I put the bowl on the tray and a glass of orange juice and some aspirin I still had in my small pharmacy. When I opened the door to their sleeping room, I saw it.

Scully, this small red haired woman was sleeping, and Mulder had curled up around her, both under the two blankets.

It can't be ….

Part Three

I couldn’t believe it. She was really lying in bed with him and he had told me weeks ago on the phone that there was nothing between them. He didn't exactly swear on his father's life, but he said a very clear 'no'.

But on the other hand – Parker don’t be jealous! I had to tell myself. I really missed a man to comfort me.

After some minutes of watching them, together, cuddled up, I turned around and closed the door. They looked cute and really innocent.

I sat down and got the book that was next to the sofa, put my legs up and started reading my lovely novel, one of my new favourites. Even being a mother now and being pregnant, I haven’t had a lot of time for reading. I've never had. Today it was Edith Wharton again in my hands – "House of Mirth". I have read it three times since I was here and I was always crying in the end. It was so sad, especially with my hormones running wild. Everything was able to make me cry, even if I saw an old man going hand in hand with his wife. I know how it feels to lose somebody you adore, somebody you love.

I missed the chasing even if I nearly lost my life) a couple of times and risked a lot, but it was adventurous. I missed Jarod’s nightly phone calls and his teases, his gifts and all those things a lot. I missed them a lot.

I couldn’t believe that I had a family now and that a baby was growing inside me. I couldn’t believe that I called Fox Mulder, my dear old friend, to ask for help. And I couldn’t believe that he had come here with a woman. Fox Mulder with a woman who wasn’t sleeping with him!

I put the book away and rested my hand on my belly. I couldn’t feel anything yet but I was sure that it wouldn’t take long till sleeping through the night would get rare. I couldn’t wait to name him or her. I couldn’t wait to see him grow, the first birthday, the first Christmas, the first time Jarod saw the baby.

¶¶¶

When I woke up, I hadn’t noticed that I had fallen asleep; I noticed two hazel golden eyes looking at me. Somebody was towering over me with two wonderful eyes staring at me.

"Mulder," I groaned as I noticed that he was half laying on me. Or I on him, depending which side you see. I tried to work my hands free but this seemed to be impossible. Mulder shifted a little, till his body was resting between my legs, his arms around my waist and his head resting on my chest. I could feel his nose nestled right beside my nipple. Shit. This *couldn’t* be happening now. Thanks god that I had a pillow at least behind myself to stay comfortable. He needed his sleep even if I would have a bad back ache in the morning.

He nestled his nose a little more into my erogenous zones, rubbing it nearly against my nipple. Wasn’t it bad enough that my body was betraying me, does my partner have to make it worse.

It didn’t take me long to fall asleep again. His breathing was deep and steady.

¶¶¶

It had started to snow very hard and I was standing at the window looking out. So many things were going through my head. We have had a couple of inches snow lately but I was told that this was normal for this region.

I heard footsteps along the wooden floor. Somebody was coming back into the living room.

"Hi," the red head said and tried to smile at me. She had red cheeks and somehow looked like something had embarrassed her. "I am sorry that it took me so long but as you can see I fell asleep myself."

I would give a penny for what really happened after I had seen them in bed.

"No problem, I guess he is sleeping as well" I tried to say coldly, "so the soup can wait. I can warm it up later."

"Yeah…" She said and she went to the big arm chair next to the sofa. "What time it is now? I don't have my feeling for it back yet and my watch is still in the suitcase."

"Oh sure it’s about," I looked at my silver watch," 20.56" I say and smile at her.

"I have totally forgotten that they count it differently but my father always said to me …. ‘Starbuck be finished at 1400 hours if you want to go with me’ … I will never forget it," she said with a smile.

In some ways she was a nice woman, not speaking too much. He must like her because if he is like he was before, then he’ll do the speaking part for them. I guess he hasn’t changed a lot since then.

"So what do you do all day long here?" she asked me and smiled.

"Well Diana I am reading a lot and relaxing. I need it really. My life had been very chaotic before I moved."

"Mulder never said a word about you before, I am just a little curious about the fact that he talked me into coming with him."

"He had always been good in things like this."

We both giggled and I was sure that we weren’t thinking about the same Mulder. But who can know? Stop it Parker, stop it – he said they were just close friends.

"So maybe this question is not my business, but where Caro’s daddy?" Well it was really none of her business but what shall I do. If I don’t answer the question now Mulder would ask in time and than she’d get to know it.

"Well …. we split up not too long ago and I am not sure if he ever wants to see his daughter and the baby again. It’s a little complicated and I am …. I don’t feel very comfortable talking about him. So if you don’t mind could we skip the topic?"

"Sure I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. It was just a question; forget that I ever asked."

"Diana …."

"Don’t you dare call me Diana again; my name is Dana, simply Dana."

"Sorry …. I thought you are called Diana, Mulder calls you Scully all the time."

"Yes he does and he would never call me Diana, never dare to call me that …"

The only thing I saw then was that she got up, put her shoes on and her warm jacket and headed towards the door.

"Don’t go out Dana, please. It’s snowing like there would be no tomorrow."

"I just need some time alone," she said and closed the door behind her. Shit there was no way for me to go out now. What about Caroline? Even if I wasn’t her biggest fan, I couldn’t let this happen now.

¶¶¶

How could she call me Diana, how could she? I am not even remotely like Diana. I can't believe it.

And then she was right about the snow. It was white all over and falling like there would be no tomorrow. And it was colder than before. I should maybe have pulled on a second pullover and taken my scarf and gloves with me.

What it is with me anyway? One minute I let him so close to myself, to the person behind "Special Agent Dana Scully" and in the next I was not able to be myself, to a woman who may need to talk.

¶¶¶

She was now a little over half an hour outside. The snowstorm was getting stronger. I wasn’t able to wait anymore. I had to wake Mulder.

Slowly I walked into his bedroom. He was sleeping like an angel. The blanket nearly over his head, the pillow tucked under his arm like it would be somebody’s body. Dana’s?

"Mulder," I said softly and sat down next to him on the bed. "Mulder," I said a little louder and touched his head. He seemed to not be in fever anymore.

"Scully?" he mumbled and slowly pulled me down to him.

So I was right about them.

The moment I pulled away he opened his eyes. "Where is Scully?" he asked me and started irritated into the room.

"That’s the problem Fox … she was a little aggressive and went outside. That’s a little over 30 minutes ago. Fox there is a snowstorm outside …"

I have known Fox for ages but I have never seen him get that fast into jeans, t-shirt and a warm pullover. "I have to find her," he said and ran outside.

I don’t know how long I was standing at the window waiting for one of them. I didn’t see anybody just the fact that the snow got more and more outside and that the temperature fell. The windows started to get icy from outside and the snow started to stick on it.

I slowly and carefully went outside to get more wood in for the fireplace. It really had gotten a couple of degrees colder. Hopefully he’ll find her soon. I can't understand why a simple name got her so furious, or was this just the temper of a redhead? I’d always thought Bridgette was a spiteful person but this was maybe a mistake.

¶¶¶

It was cold and dark. The sun was down completely. I’ve never imagined how a night in the Alps would be. You could see all the stars. A wonderful clear sky. But it was bitter cold. Freezing.

The snow was deep and I couldn’t even see the cottage anymore. I don’t know how long I had been outside now but it was wonderful.

Well there seems to be a place where I could sit down for a moment and watch the stars.

¶¶¶

It was over 50 minutes now; Fox was out for nearly fifteen minutes. Hopefully he’d found her by now. It was too cold outside to stay there long and she wasn’t wearing a lot when she left, light trousers and a soft pullover. No scarf and no gloves.

She wasn’t a person with a lot of body fat either, she was slim not to say skinny but with a roman face. I had never seen a more roman nose than hers before. Maybe that’s why Mulder was starring at her all the time. I still can't understand why at all.

He had never said a word about my body, never. But I saw him looking after all those busty women. I know that he really liked my legs and that I was slim. And Dana? She was short and absolutely not busty. Everything was in proportion but nothing too much. She was right for her length. What would she be, maybe 5’3’’ maybe a little shorter.

I honestly believe that her eyes are able to kill people. Broots once said that I should look away so that I wouldn’t kill him. I just smiled but now I know how it can feel.

Dana’s eyes are more than deep sea blue, they were somehow with a little of turquoise. I am not sure.

I looked at the watch again. Nearly two hours by now. Caroline started to cry and I went to her, took her out of the crib and started to nurse her, the bottle of warm milk that had been waiting.

After a little over twenty minutes she’d fallen back to sleep again and I brought her to the crib inside my bedroom.

I know myself very well and even if I don’t like Dana very well I couldn’t go to bed before I’ll know that she would be home safe and so Mulder.

I sat down on the sofa again with a cup of tea and my "House of Mirth" book. I was taking slow gulps of tea but wasn't able to concentrate on the book.

It was too long now, nearly two and a half hours when I looked at the big watch over the fireplace again. I had to re-arrange the fire to slow the burning.

Three hours and I nearly had fallen asleep twice. The book was resting on my flat belly, the bottle of Vodka next to me. We, baby and me, knew that if something had happened to her I would need this one, the whole one, at least one bottle of hard Russian stuff. I know that I am pregnant but if something happened to Dana outside …

This was the positive thing here; you were getting alcohol pretty easily and all brands and tastes. The first time I’d been at the grocery store. I saw more than 30 different brands of wine and all Austrian. When I asked the man behind the counter if he has a Californian one, he just laughed out loud and grabbed two bottles, one was named "Welschriesling Frühlese" and the other one was a "Gewürztraminer". I was just standing there and waiting for something from him. Then he realised that I hadn’t a clue about these two and told me a little about them.

Now I know that I would never want to drink a "Gewürztraminer" it’s much too sweet for my taste of wine. I mean it’s okay if it’s just an aperitif before a big meal, especially deer. But not more than a small glass please.

And "Welschriesling" was directly the opposite of it. It was a young and fresh wine, with a little a touchy and round taste.

I got two bottles of "Welschriesling" just in case that somebody would want to drink a glass of wine. I had set a strict alcohol ban over me.

Suddenly I heard a loud knocking on the door. I jumped and opened it. It was Fox with Dana in his arms. She looked paler than she already normally was, her lips were blue and her eyes closed.

I couldn’t believe what might have happened.

"Fox …." I started to whisper. Mulder looked around and went over to the fireplace.

"Could you bring me the cushions and the warm blankets from our room?" he asked me and I nearly ran to grab them. It wasn’t looking too good.

I brought them to him and slowly helped him to remove her already soaked cloths. He did it with patience and in a way like he would do that every day.

Fox pulled her out of the jacket which I put on a hanger. I was watching him when he started to unbutton her shirt. I had to help so I kneeled down and started to remove her shoes. Even her socks were wet. I put some paper into the shoes and set them next to the fire.

The cottage was warming up, it was really getting hot inside. I noticed that Mulder had put more wood into the fire.

Now she lay there just in her white cotton bra with the girly little lace on top, just to make the mound of her breasts a little rounder, and her wet and soaked jeans.

Fox? No he wasn’t staring as I believed he would do. The moment he started to unbutton her jeans I told him that I would bring a warm flannel pyjama. So I headed to my room and pulled the warmest pair out of the drawer. She had to warm up again.

Fox didn’t even glance a second too long over her body when she was naked in front of him. Slowly he started to rub her body dry with a soft towel I had brought along.

He’d always been great with woman but they must have a special relationship. Fox got her into the pyjama trousers without any help but he asked me to help with the top.

He had pulled her into his lap, her back against his chest. I put one arm into the one sleeve and slowly around her back to get the other one into the other sleeve. While I was doing it Fox’s hand was resting on her slim belly.

It was the first time I was able to notice how thin she was, tiny scars all over.

She had a more than white body form and full breasts. I haven’t noticed their fullness before, not that I cared. But now I wasn’t able to look into Fox’s eyes so I concentrated on her.

She was wearing a little golden cross around her neck that didn’t even reach a lot over her collarbone.

She was tiny but with a strong mind, I guess.

When I started to button the top, Mulder stopped me. "Thanks Sarah, thanks for everything," and then he tried to smile. "Go to bed now, I guess I can handle it from now on alone, you and the baby need the rest."

¶¶¶

Where was I? I asked myself when I opened my eyes. I had been sleeping on the floor in front of a fireplace. It had gotten cold so I woke up.

I imagined that somebody had been sleeping with me but I wasn’t sure.

When my eyes were able to focus again I saw a man sitting on the sofa with a baby in his arms. God he looked adorable.

The moment I started to move he put the baby back into its crib and headed, with long fast steps, towards me.

"Are you okay Dana?" he asked me.

I nodded.

"You scared the shit out of me last night Dana," he said and smiled at me. In the next moment he’d pulled me into his arms and brought my body tightly against his. God he was hot. And this smell!

I snuggled a little closer into his shoulder and moved my hands softly around his wait.

So this was my life? Maybe?

Suddenly I heard footsteps coming from the back, and than a tall and slim woman appeared in the living room.

"How is she doing?" she asked the man who hugged me.

"I guess she hasn’t broken anything. By the way Scully how stupid can you be to run outside into this Snowstorm?"

Well I guess if this was what had happened last night, the reason why I wasn’t able to remember anything, then I wasn’t able to answer this question properly.

I didn’t want to lose the grip on him. He slowly moved away a little but was still holding me tight.

"I guess Sarah she was frostbitten yesterday, I am not sure if she hit her head against the tree but it could have been," the man said.

"Well let’s have a look at her head," the tall woman with the very dark hair and the ice blue eyes said and went towards me.

She was just wearing a robe and a very tiny silky nightgown under it. The man who was holding me in his arms glanced once at her cleavage which was softly exposed while she bent down to my head.

"Ouch" I nearly screamed when she touched me.

"Well …. I guess she did hit the tree," she said.

Her voice was deep and she had marvellous white teeth.

"Its not the first time that Scully hits her head really badly, she is so stubborn and has a bullhead. I am sure that nothing serious happened. Or does anything hurts?"

"I am not sure, besides my head … no nothing ..." I looked around the room. I couldn’t even remember one piece of furniture.

"Do you know where you are?" He asked me and pulled me away and out of his arms.

There I noticed that I was wearing a too big pyjama, obviously not mine. Shit. He was her man and not mine. Well typical.

I shook my head.

Part Four

She really can’t remember who she is or who we are. I can’t believe it. I was holding my hands over my stomach, watching her. I can’t believe it because it is mostly my fault, somehow.

Fox was still holding her in his arms, loosely pressing her against his body, but she was still in his arms and then she said that she couldn't remember a thing. Shit.

¶¶¶

He had asked me if I remembered anything and I really didn’t remember one person in this room. He was still near me and his warm breath fell against the skin of my neck. A shudder ran over my whole body. Who was this man who was taking care of me?

I am sure that he knew me because he had called me Scully, but Scully isn’t a name. It’s maybe my family name or a nick name he gave me. Dana must be my name. The first time I moved he had called me Dana. Dana. I am Dana. But who is this man?

"Fox, I think she should take a warm and relaxing

He was Fox. Fox, what a strange name!

"Yeah that’s a good idea. Dana, do you want to take a bath? I mean I can't force you to take one and if you don’t feel up to it …."

"I guess I am old enough to take a bath," I said and tried to get out of his arms.

"Stay a little longer here with me," he whispered into my ears and pressed me against him again.

The tall woman didn’t say a thing; she got the baby out of the crib and sat down, gave it the bottle and stared at us. I let him hold me a little longer. It felt good and so real. Was he the man in my life or just a friend? Her man?

Slowly I got rid of him. God he smelled like Amour himself, I guess if this other woman … Sarah? … Wasn’t there … and I knew who he was…

"I will take a bath. I guess …." I felt dizzy and the moment I started to fall, he was behind me, catching me before my body even hit the floor.

"Dana", I heard him saying, holding me.- "I will bring her to our room. She has to sleep a little. Maybe she hit her head badly."

"I guess so Fox, bring her to bed and I will get her something to eat."

¶¶¶

I can't believe that I did this to her. That it’s my fault that she is like she is now. That she can't remember a thing.

Sure I still don’t like her, she is a pain in the ass but Mulder cares for her as if she is the most important part of his life. On the phone he never talked about anybody else, only Scully.

"How is she?" I asked, standing in the door to their room.

"She has hurt her head badly but nothing that won’t come back to normal as before. She is," he smiled at her, "she is so stubborn that this won't be a problem for her. I am sure it will just take a day or two for her to remember everything again."

"I will bring you a glass of water and an Aspirin," I said and went to the bathroom with a glass in my hand.

If I really want Fox to help me a little, to bring me Jarod, we need to help her recover the fastest way. He is the only one who would be able to reach Jarod.

Slowly I went into the room. She was in bed, the window slightly open. Mulder had put the second blanket over her. She was sitting leaned against the headboard, Fox behind her.

They really must have a special relationship. She can't remember him but she trusts him enough to sit with him in such an intimate position.

¶¶¶

She was there again, wearing a little more than before. I noticed the belly. She was pregnant and there was a baby in the crib. Was it also hers?

"Thank you," I said and took the water and aspirin from her.

"Do you want something to eat? I was starting to make breakfast, some rolls with butter and marmalade or do you want some cereals? Just let me know."

"Thanks a lot but what about a cup of coffee? I mean I would take some tea too and I’d really like to …."

"Dana you stay in bed here – don't try to help her. Sarah is able to make you a cup of coffee herself. She might be pregnant but god she isn’t immobile."

Sarah laughed and headed out. I let myself sink back against Mulder’s chest. His hands were on my hips, nearly around my waist. We have to have a special relationship to be like this in front of others. It felt so right to sit there, my back against his chest, my whole body between his legs. I could feel his breath against my ear.

"Tell me about myself, please," I asked him and took the Aspirin with the water.

"What do you want to know Dana? Just ask me."

I put a strand of hair behind my ear. "What do I do for a living?"

"Well that’s an easy one Dana. You are a forensic pathologist but you don’t practise, well not really." He took several deep breaths. "You are a Special Agent with the FBI." I put the glass to the nightstand. "You work with me on the X-Files."

"We work together," I said and wanted to see his face.

"Yes, Dana we work together. I am the freak and you are the pessimistic one in our relationship."

"Our relationship?" Now it could get interesting I guess.

"Partnership I guess would be more the right word. We work together and we are good friends. Well I guess it’s not a secret that you are my very best friend and the only one I can talk to if it’s needed. I trust you, the only person in the whole world. And normally I get you out of bed at late night hours or early in the morning to go on freaky cases. You mostly never say a word, but I can read you like a book, sometimes."

So this handsome guy and I were just partners. How did that work?

"How long now?"

"What?"

"How long do we work together now?"

"Five long years"

"Am I that bad that the years seem so long?" I said and chuckled.

"God no Dana you were amazing. I don’t know what I would have done without you. I am not sure where I would be if they hadn't transferred you to the X-Files."

"Hm…" Five years and we were just friends. Maybe he is married or has a girlfriend or maybe, no, he can't be gay. No way.

"And what else can you tell me about me."

The man behind me laughs and his hand closes around my waist and pulls me a little more into him. I took a sharp breath.

"Okay. You are a Navy brat Dana, your Daddy was in there and your two brothers are with the Navy too – Bill and Charley. Your Dad died a couple of years ago. You’ve always been his Starbuck and he was your Ahab, you know from Moby Dick. Your sister, Missy, was killed a couple of years ago. You’ve a tattoo on your lower back. Well what more to say, you love trashy love novels and you hate me for teasing you with them. You really like these healthy stuff and you’ve never been a good eater. You trained a lot since we know each other and you changed a lot). Your hair is a darker shade of red now and you eyes are bluer. Like ice, sometimes as deep as the ocean.

You normally wear all black or dark blue for work but you know that I like you relaxed a lot more because it fits you better. I really like this light blue sweater with the boat neck line. It matches your eyes."

God he knows a lot about me. I like the way he talks about me, his voice is deeper than normally. I swear so.

"You have a neat handwriting and you sometimes really beat the shit out of me."

"What do I do with you?" I said and turned around. His hands still clamped together.

"You don’t beat me literally but you aren’t really nice when you are angry at me what happens from time to time on a regular base."

I can get angry. Hm. Well that’s possible.

"And do I have …"- a boyfriend, that’s what I wanted to ask but I haven't had a chance to finish it.

"As far as I know Dana you don’t but I can't be sure because it's none of my business."

"I am sure that you know quite well about it."

"Like I said it’s none of my business."

Sarah came in with some roles, coffee and marmalade like she said, butter and honey.

"That’s traditional Austrian breakfast Dana, relax and eat a little. You’ll need your strength." She looked at me. "This" - she pointed to the red one - "this is cherry" - the yellow one - "that’s apricot marmalade" - and another red one, just a little lighter - "that’s red current." And she went outside again.

"I will make you one too – up or downside of the roll?" I asked him and cut one in two pieces.

"The upper one of course," he said and I could feel his smile.

I put some butter on his part of the role and waited. "Red current," he said and I did some with the spoon on it. "Thanks," he said and I heard the bite into the fresh roll.

I made myself one with apricot. Slowly I sipped on my hot coffee, thinking about what he had said about me and my life. None of his business? I can't remember a piece of my life but I can be sure that he was involved somehow into it and that I would care about him and his feelings a lot. I am not sure but he seems to be important for me. Somehow.

"Tell me about your life and what you do," I asked.

"Well what do you want to know? There isn’t a lot to say. I am a single freak who can't stand his first name, hasn’t got a lot of friends – well only the Lone Gunmen next to you – and who has a nice porn collection," he said and I had to laugh about his last statement.

"It’s not funny Dana, really not."

"Sorry I had to laugh about your joke about the por…"

"It isn’t a joke Dana, really not."

"Oh..."

"Yeah I forgot to say that you were raised very catholic and that from what I know, you were a nice little catholic girl."

"Fox …"

"Dana, please call me Mulder. I really don’t like my name."

"But I’d like to call you Fox; she is calling you Fox too."

"I have told Sarah about three hundred times but she won’t listen to me or remember it the next time. You can call me Fox if you want but I don’t like this …. "

"It’s okay; really I will call you Mulder. Do I always do that?"

"Yes, we always play this game."

"Okay." I said and ate a second role, this time I got the better, the upside.

"Can I have the other side with just honey?" he asked me and I started to put some butter on it when he stopped me.

"No butter Dana."

I just put the honey on the roll with the spoon and got some on my finger. I couldn’t even think about what to do when I felt a warm wet around my finger, when he licked the sweet liquid of my fingers, sucking them deeply into his warm mouth. I couldn’t resist, I moaned.

With one hand, the breakfast found his place on the nightstand, in the next second I was resting completely on him, pressing myself against him. His mouth still around my finger. My eyes were closed.

I couldn’t remember a moment when I got aroused because of somebody suckling my fingers. Well remember …

I slowly moved up to be on one level with his face and leaned down to kiss his gorgeous mouth. I wanted his plump lip.

"We can't do this Dana, we can't," he said and rolled away from under me. Frustrated I sat up and he headed out of the room.

¶¶¶

I was standing in the kitchen, cooking some soup for Lunch, when she headed, with a blushed face, out of the room into the direction of the bath room.

What happened?

Fox slowly, a couple of seconds later maybe a minute, came out of the room. He looked exhausted.

"What happened?" I asked calmly.

"Nothing, Sarah," he said and moved to Caroline and took her out of the crib, took her to the window and sang a little for her.

I am not sure how long I watched Fox with my baby, how much I hope that this would be done by Jarod soon.

Where was Dana?

Part Five

My back was bad today. Last night wasn't very pleasant, I didn't get a lot of sleep and I know that I need the sleep but I can't change things. My back ached with every move.

"What’s up Sarah?" Mulder asked me when he turned around. I’ve never imagined him being a singer and especially not lullabies.

"It’s just my back," I said honestly and stared at my tea. God I really hated tea, since I was a child, but coffee wasn’t a topic anymore because of the pregnancy.

"Do you want me to rub your back?" he asked with a smile on his lips. Oh god those lips. How could I ever let this man go?

I stared at him and smiled back. "Well thanks Fox, I guess that’s the best idea you’ve had in ages."

"Remember I am a genius."

"No you aren’t!" I said to him and pulled my robe a little closer. My nightie wasn’t one of those long and elegant ones I used to wear beside my silk PJs, but my bedroom was warm and I wasn’t interested in buying too many during this pregnancy.

He turned around, leaned against the wooden wall and held the baby in his arms. This fits him, sure it does. He is still, even years later, a handsome guy. Just Jarod is more handsome than Fox, but they are totally different and can't be compared. Not by me at least.

"So I'll take her to bed and you take a shower and I’ll meet you in your bed room. Get me some body lotion okay?" Fox said and petted Caroline’s cheek.

Body lotion? Do I have any body lotion?

"Well Fox, I don’t have any body lotion left at the moment," I said honestly and I am not sure but the chance that I was blushing was pretty good.

"Okay I am sure Scully has some in her bag. You take a shower and I’ll be there in a few minutes."

"Thanks Fox, really," I said and went slowly to my bedroom. I couldn’t believe it. He offered me a massage and I said ‘yes’. I'm allowing him to touch me. God.

I got naked and stood in front of the mirror for a couple of minutes to take a look at my changing body. It was noticeable that my belly was showing clearly now and that my breasts were getting fuller and rounder.

¶¶¶

¶¶¶

"Deeper, yes right there!" I nearly cried when his soft hands worked down my back. The lotion seems to be one of those expensive ones and it smelt like cinnamon. "Harder, Fox, do me harder," I moaned.

¶¶¶

Shit what was that? Did I hear what I think I have heard? No it can't be.

"Do it again Fox, harder," I heard a female voice moaning. "You … hit … the right .. spot …. again please… deeper …"

I was sitting there in my bed. It couldn’t be happening. He was fucking her and she likes it. Shit.

"God this is good Fox, why didn't we do this yesterday?" she moaned in a deep voice.

I couldn’t hear what he was saying to her but what else do I need to see what was going on here. She was everything a man could dream of. And she was pregnant, probably his child. And the one in the crib in the living room? Surely his too. How could a woman ever not love this handsome guy and try to get as many children as possible with him to hold him in place?

"I love that, god Fox I really love that, move a little deeper down," she said, loud enough to let me hear it.

"So this is your life Dana, a man who cares for you deeply, but just as a friend. Who fucks a woman in the next room and does it very well, to hear. Something you have ever dreamt of?" I told myself, grabbed a robe and headed towards the kitchen to get a fresh glass of orange juice.

¶¶¶

Those hands were magic. He moved over my back like a god, not too hard and not too soft. He seems to know every knot there, every place which ached when I was moving.

He put a little more lotion on my naked shoulders and rubbed it in before he started to knead them.

I was lying naked on my bed, only wearing white bikini underpants and a towel under my breasts. As much as I loved his hands I was not giving him a free show, not now, not ever again.

¶¶¶

Not one glass of orange juice in this darn kitchen, I can't believe it.

And this moaning and groaning wasn’t to stop soon. As I assess Mulder, he is a good lover, and will give her a long ride on a nice pink cloud. Sure he was a good lover.

And these eyes, god have I ever seen hazel eyes like these with this little golden spots in them? I guess no, not as I remember. But I am not remembering anything. Shit. Why always me?

"God yes, yes …" she nearly cried out.

How long will this take till she and he had enough?

¶¶¶

"Not that loud Sarah, please," he said and giggled. We played this Harry and Sally orgasm thing once in a pub in Oxford. I guess this was the best night I have ever had. If we forget his darn girlfriend. This bitch.

"Oh Mulder, do it to me again … deeper …deeper … god …yes like that …. Oh god…fucks me harder … harder Mulder yes …." I faked and he nearly fell off the bed because he laughed that hard.

"Sarah you are a really, really bad girl," he said and sat next to me. I slowly rolled over, covering my chest with the towel.

"You know Fox, that it was the best time of my youth was when we had that little thing in Oxford," I said honestly.

"Right Sarah but lots of things have changed and you really adore this man, don’t you? I mean the guy I left the letter for."

"You really did it? Have you found him?" I asked. I couldn’t believe it.

"No, I haven't found him in person. We had a little chat over the phone and he told me where to put it so that he is able to get it. I hope that’s fine with you."

"Yes it is." Maybe Jarod has found this letter. He has to know the truth about the children, about me. I wouldn’t be able to live any longer with this lie.

¶¶¶

After some apple juice I went back into my room. There wasn’t any sound coming from the other room so they may be asleep now. I couldn’t believe it. He was really fucking her next door.

So Mr. Fox Mulder, Special Agent Fox Mulder with the FBI was fucking a woman next door and even if we are or would be friends, this wouldn’t be okay. For me at least but maybe exactly this was the problem. Misses Stubborn talking here, who is so stubborn that even if she hits her head really badly she wouldn’t be able to tell him how handsome he is, how perfect his hands feel, and how soft his skin is.

God this can't be true. Or can it?

I sat down on the bed, and saw a book next to the lamp on the nightstand. Obviously it wasn’t one of mine. It must be one of his. Sure, it was porn. How can somebody read porn? Oh remember, he is a little shy about his porn ambitions.

Can you believe it? A man told me about his porn collection. I guess, even if I can't remember it, that there wasn’t a man before who has told me about it or even that he watches them.

And he really told me, his partner and friend about them. Hopefully I didn’t blush instantly. Sure I did. My skin is too white not to blush. I guess I giggled. Sure I did. Bad Dana, really bad.

¶¶¶

"Did she eat anything?" I asked Fox when we met later that evening.

"I don’t know. She seems to be upset with me. The room is dark and she is probably asleep."

"What did you do to upset her?" I asked him, leaning against the kitchen counter. He was sitting in a chair about four metres away from me at the dining-room table.

"Well, I guess I shouldn’t be telling you this Sarah," he murmured.

"I know every part of your body so don’t be shy and tell me what happened. It can't be that bad," I said and sat down next to him with a glass of milk, really good fresh milk, and fresh from a cow and not out of a plastic bottle like home in the States.

The taste was different and even the smell. I think it was the first thing I bought when I moved in here, lots of fresh milk.

"Are you in love with this man?" he asked me and I stared into his eyes. His polo was a little dirty from Caroline but still looking nice. It was in a dark shade of green, nearly black and it looked expensive. And he was wearing faded jeans with it, like the boy I once knew.

"I am, at least I think that I am in love with him. I've loved him for as long as I can remember."

"Don’t tell me that it is still this guy. The one you were talking about when we met each other. Don’t tell me that you are still running after him, trying to get him …"

"No, unfortunately things have changed. I was running after him that’s right but not the way you would have liked to see it. I was chasing him all over the country."

"So it’s true what you said on the phone even if it was too cryptic for me to understand."

"Yes it was true but we aren’t talking about my complex love life here boy, we talk about what happened between you and Dana."

Fox looked up from his folded hands into my eyes. "I nearly kissed her but I couldn’t do it. It wouldn’t have been right."

"Why not?" I asked him in return and already knew the answer.

"Sarah, she can't remember me or our past, so it would be the absolute worst thing I can do. I love her, god knows I love her but now it would be like I'm using her for something she isn’t ready for."

"Go to bed Fox. You can't change what happened. The tension is high between you, I noticed it the minute to enter this cottage. Give Dana some time and let her get her past back and I am sure that you both will get what you want."

"Hopefully," he (whispered.

"Go to bed. It’s late."

¶¶¶

The room was dark around me and I can't remember the day I ever felt comfortable in complete darkness. I guess that never has happened.

I heard the door cracking under his touch. He tried to be silent, not to wake me. He really thought I would be sleeping!? I was lying there awake since she stopped moaning at midday.

He nearly fell over the open case of mine. "Ouch!"

"You can turn on the lights if you want. I can't carry you to bed," I said sharply and lightened the nightstand lamp.

"I thought you’d be sleeping."

"I wasn’t sleeping."

"But you hate the darkness or at least you aren’t very comfortable. You never sleep in a totally darkened room."

"It’s nice from you that you tell me so but I already figured it out. So change and go to bed I am tired."

"I want to talk to you Scully. We need to talk."

Talk to me? No way!

"I guess we don’t need to talk Mulder. I know what I need to know and I am not interested in any excuses or analysis from your side. Just shut up and go to bed, I am tired."

"You can't let me stand in the rain with it. We need to talk about it."

"No we don’t, not now and not tomorrow. So you change or do whatever you want just leave me alone to get some sleep."

Suddenly I felt the bed shift beside me and noticed him sitting down to get rid of his jeans. Yes, he was sitting on the bed next to where I was sleeping on his way to get naked. I just yawned. I couldn’t believe it.

He was really climbing into bed with me after he’d fucked this darn bitch next door.

I really made an attempt to climb out of bed but in exactly this moment I felt his arm around my waist, pulling me back towards him.

"Let me go," I said and wanted to push him away from me.

"No way Scully, no way, we talk about it now!" Mulder said loudly and held me.

"I am not interested in any excuses or whatever you want to tell me now. I just want to sleep."

"And you want to sleep on the floor? No, you’ll sleep here in bed with me like a normal adult. Don’t be a silly child now, that’s completely out of character."

"Don’t analyze me, I told you before."

"I am not analyzing you Scully, how dare you think I would do so?"

I know that he is teasing me and I really hate him for it, more than hate. I am, really angry with him.

I was in bed with this guy and I have to be angry with him. He slept with her, and I can't change it. He slept with her and now he is nearly naked, just in alien boxer shorts which feel like pure silk, in bed with me.

My back was pressed against his chest. One arm rested under my neck and holds me in place the other one was pressed against my belly. His warm hand resting on my belly, just thinking about it let the butterflies start in my belly. I told myself not to have any romantic thoughts about him because he already has a woman to sleep with and that I was too good to be a bed bunny. But on the other hand, I can't remember what has happened between us before. What made us be best friends and that I trust him with my life and why on god’s earth we are here at all!

It will take me eternity to fall asleep with this warm form against my back, it's horrible. No, not Mulder please. He started to make small circles with his thumb on my belly. This can't happen.

His nose was resting on my neck, just under my ear and he breathes like he’s already fallen asleep.

Don’t think about the thing which presses into your lower back, don’t think about it …

Part Six

I woke up when the sun started to rise, as every day. Caroline was softly crying next to me in her crib. It was time to get up, give her a bottle and then find something to do. I couldn’t sit here all day long.

I took Caroline out of her crib, and stood in front of the mirror. I noticed that my belly had grown a little, and that I was showing more. I had a very unpleasant night, not being able to sleep on my belly because my breasts are getting sensitive. God, this was going so fast.

"Come on little girl, let’s get you something to drink," I said with a smile and brought Caroline out of the room.

The door to Fox’s room was slightly open. I heard a moan. God, what are they doing? Did he finally?

Can I risk a glimpse into their room?

¶¶¶

¶¶¶

Asleep or not, they look cute. The blanket had travelled all the way down to her hips; he was sleeping just in boxer shorts. She was short compared to him, I’d realised it the moment he’d carried her into the cottage.

I noticed one of his hands on her breast the other one under the blanket, obviously doing what I think it was doing.

Fox was snoring softly, her mouth was opened, and both looked fast asleep, in another world, a world without fear and anxiety.

"Let’s get you your bottle kiddo and maybe we’ll be able to go for a walk today." I smiled and brushed my long dark hair off my shoulder. Caroline loves to grab it.

I warmed the bottle up, and she was drinking greedily. She was a good baby, always hungry and tired. She smiled at me when she’d finished and we went back to my room to change the diapers. Not even this could change her good mood today. I washed her, changed her out of the pyjamas and into a nice warm sky blue set. I sat down with her on the bed when I heard a soft knocking. I jumped, in fear. The knocking got louder. The moment I wanted to head outside my room, I saw Fox in his boxershort with a t-shirt in his hands at the door, Dana close behind him in her pyjamas.

She had her weapon in her hand, standing behind Mulder. Slowly he opened the door and there he was. Jarod, my Jarod standing there at the door. Fox stared at him. Jarod was wearing a black jacket and dark blue jeans. He was all covered in snow. He didn’t say a word.

Dana told him to come in. The cold air was coming into the living room of the cottage.

"Parker," he said and stared at me with Caroline on my hip. I had started to show several weeks ago but I guess I was able to hide it with Caroline pretty well at the moment.

"Jarod," were the only syllables I was able to get out of my mouth.

"Oh, Jarod," Fox mumbled and closed the door after he stepped in. "Get out of those wet clothes," he said and put Jarod’s jacket on a hanger near the fire place.

Jarod was just staring at me. "Come with me Jarod, I will get you a pair of sweat pants, you have to get rid of the wet jeans," Fox said. Jarod got out of his shoes and went behind Fox into their room.

¶¶¶

This was Jarod? Jarod? Never really heard that name before.

The baby began softly to cry on Sarah’s hip and she didn’t react, she stood there, frozen in place. I went towards her and took the baby from her, dancing with her through the living room, singing a children’s song. Sarah was still standing there not able to move. She was staring at the wall.

Mulder and this man came back from our room. I noticed that Jarod was wearing Mulder’s sweats because they were a little wide on him. Slowly he went to Sarah and laid an arm around her.

Suddenly Mulder was standing next to me and whispered into my ear, "Let’s give them some minutes alone." And with this we went with Caroline into our room and closed the door.

¶¶¶

"Say something Parker," he said to me. I wasn’t able to say a word. I was just standing there pressed against his warm body, smelling his sweet scent. His arms had found their way around my shoulders, holding me in place.

"It’s really you," I whisper.

"Yes my dear, it’s me," he whispers and pressed a warm and wet kiss against my hairline.

"You got my letter, god Fox really got in contact with you."

"Yes he did Parker, he told me that it is an emergency and that he would have a letter for me, in which you’ll tell me everything. I wasn’t sure if it’s a fake or not but somehow I felt connected to this man and trusted him. He posted where I told him and I read it. I couldn’t come as fast as I wanted without the Centre following me."

Tears start to stream down my cheeks which were pressed against him. I don't want to let him go, never.

"Don’t cry Parker, don’t cry." he whispered and kissed those tears away. We slowly went to the sofa and sat down, thigh to thigh, his arm around my shoulder, pressing me against him.

I couldn’t stop myself and started to kiss him. I pressed my lips against his, hard. He smelled sweet and I couldn’t wait to feel his tongue. Slowly I let my tongue glide over his lips, begging for entrance. While I tried to seduce his mouth, his hands rested on my hips. I was feeling his hands on me; they felt like fire through the soft cloth. I wondered about so many things.

But the moment he let me into his mouth he suddenly pulled away.

"You are … "

"Yes Jarod I am pregnant with our child," I said and let him see my naked and swollen belly. "I am pregnant with your child."

"You can't be pregnant with my child Parker, hell god; we never slept with each other!" he said angrily and wanted to get off the sofa.

"No we never had sex, that’s right Jarod, but they put your seeds inside me and I am pregnant. There is no other way it could have happened and I am sure that it’s your child, believe me. Please …" I was begging, my eyes wet again and my body shivering.

"God …." he just said low and started to hug me. We lay down on the sofa and he pressed me body into his, letting me feel him and him me. I wanted to taste him, to feel him somewhere else, somewhere where the ache was starting to get unbearable.

¶¶¶

"We need to talk about yesterday Scully," Mulder said and looked towards me. I was sitting on the bed, the baby against my chest, asleep.

"NO! We don’t need to talk. There isn’t anything we need to talk about," I said loud, too loud. I woke the baby. "Looks…"

And he was staring at me. Caroline had drooled on my PJ top, exactly where my nipple was. Great. Fuck. He was able to see it, how hard it was. Why always me?

"You were angry with me yesterday and I want to know why! I want to know why I should apologise."

I put Caroline on the bed and lay down next to her, her head resting in my hand. She grabbed one of my fingers and put it into her sweet little mouth, suckling. Cute.

"Yes Mulder I was angry but I don’t to talk about it. It’s not important."

"Everything is important for me if it makes you angry. Woman, what do I have to do that you trust me."

"Mulder I trust you."

"No you don’t. Dare to say that you trust me if you don’t do so."

"Hell Mulder like I said I trust you. Why should I come with you to Austria if I don’t trust you and your plans?"

"This is different. There you trust me professionally but I want you to trust me as a friend. Scully you are my best friend and I wouldn’t have a secret …"

"God Mulder you fucked her and didn't even close the door," I said out loud.

He was sitting on the sofa staring at me. I couldn’t believe that I said it. He was staring at me like I had shot him again.

"I didn’t sleep with her," he said calmly.

"I am not deaf!" I said angrily.

"I didn’t sleep with her Scully."

"Do you really think that I am stupid? Since we are here you shoot looks at her like that would be no tomorrow. If you were able to, you’d undress her with your eyes. Every word she says is like a holy one. Every move she makes is like the one of a grace. "

"But I didn’t sleep with her Scully; I really haven't slept with her."

"You are really a fucking asshole Mulder. Why can't you be honest with me and say that you fucked her till she saw stars?" I stared at Caroline "I heard you and well, it seemed to be fun and it’s really none of my business Mulder but the next time please shut the door."

Mulder got off the sofa and sat down on the bed next to me.

"Really Scully I don’t know what I should say more to you as that I haven't slept with her during the last 15 years."

"You are funny."

"I am honest with you Scully. I haven't slept with any woman in ages. But like you said its none of your business. But what would you do if I want it to be your business?"

"Mulder just shut up okay. I mean you fucked her; she obviously needed it because her hormones are on a race at the moment and well you did a good job. I am not interested in details."

"Do you want it to be your business?" he asked me again.

Part Seven

"Mulder, just shut up okay. I mean you fucked her; she obviously needed it because her hormones are racing at the moment and well, you did a good job. I am not interested in details."

"Do you want it to be your business?" he asked me again.

In exactly this moment Jarod came into the room and I was more than thankful for it. He broke the silence that had been before killing me.

"Dana, I want to talk to you too in the living room if you have a moment."

He was a handsome guy, really - tall, a little taller than Mulder and more muscular with dark hair and chocolate brown eyes. His lips were regular and his shoulders tighter than Mulder's. His nose was smaller but his eyes a little bigger.

God can I only compare every male to Mulder? Yes, and this had been the problem ever since I met him. I really tried to date several guys but I never got them near my bed because they weren’t as funny as Mulder, their humour was just boring or their stories about their job less adventurous. They were not sporty enough or their hair wasn’t as Mulder's, their eye weren’t hazel. I really hated myself for doing that but I couldn’t change it, not anymore.

Sure I want it to be my business, sure. Hell, he was mine and I really wanted him to act like that. Parker, Sarah wasn’t the first woman he’d laid eyes on since we'd worked together but this had been so obvious. But from what he told me and how Sarah’s eyes started glowing when she saw Jarod standing in the door, she would never let Mulder touch her in this way.

She had never told me about Jarod, not really, just here and there a name or a small note about their childhood but she seems to hide it deep in her soul, and it still seemed to hurt.

I stood up and went with Jarod into the living room. I looked slowly back at Mulder who went to take Caroline with him. God, he’d be a good father.

"Sit down please," Sarah told us.

¶¶¶

Dana was blushing. Had I interrupted something when I sent Jarod in? I think he’d told me or at least smirked when he re-entered the living room. Dana was still in her pyjamas and Mulder in his boxershorts and a t-shirt. His hair wasn’t made and I remembered how cute he looked when he was younger.

"What can we do for you?" Mulder asked me and I smiled at him.

Jarod sat next to me and held my hand. He looked so good and it felt so right to have him here. His kisses feel like so many years ago and his touch so familiar even if he’d never touched me like that before. We agreed that we couldn’t make out here in the living room. God because if he really would have started, I wouldn’t have been able to stop him. Not this time, after such a long need to see him.

"I asked her to marry me!" Jarod said and smiled at me. God this had been the most significant moment in my life when he knelt down and proposed.

"I want her to marry me as soon as possible. I want to go tomorrow to town and speak with the priest. And after getting married I want to go with her for a couple of days, so say four, to Salzburg or even Vienna, and wanted to ask you if you could stay with Caroline."

Mulder looked at Dana and that she smiled at him and nodded.

"Okay it’s not a problem," he said to Jarod with a smile on his lips.

Can I say that a knot loosened in my chest when I saw those two happy faces smiling at me after we told them this?

¶¶¶

Is that like a fairytale or not? They seem to fit so perfectly together. I didn’t know in the beginning what this would be about but now … I’d never told them not to take the baby. She is a lovely little girl and I am good with kids, I’ve been told.

I smiled at them and their entwined fingers. Will this ever happen to me?

"Tomorrow when I am there at church I want to ask the priest to baptize our little Caroline." Parker said, "And I want you two to be their godparents." She took a deep breath. "I’ve known you for so long Mulder that I really have to ask you if you feel okay with this job and you Dana; you seem to be … you seem to be able to read his mind. Okay I really have to say this now. God … you two fit together like fire and water, lightning and thunder." I started to blush instantly. "I don’t understand why you, Mulder, haven't made a pass at her yet because I remember that you were pretty good at that a couple of years ago."

Parker really has said it. I can't remember the moment I went from crimson into a new shade of deep red, maybe getting violet or something like that. I only noticed that even my hands and arms changed into this colour.

"Parker you …"Mulder tried to say something.

"Don’t say a word. I don’t want to hear an excuse or anything else. It’s not my business. I know that you blush when I speak of it, so it has to touch you somehow. Talk to her and you Dana talk to him. Now we’ll talk about Caroline."

"We want Caroline to have godparents who take care of her if something happens to us and it isn’t easy to take care of a small kid. But you can never know nowadays and I want you to know that you two would be the ones …" Jarod said.

"I think we could do that, don’t we Mulder?" I asked him and he nodded. Somehow he seems to be sitting closer to me than before. I felt his body heat ‘touching’ me.

"And I want you two to be there for her when she is older. I mean they never go to their parents if they really have a problem, you two should be her friends, somebody to talk to."

"I think we can do that too," Mulder said and grabbed my hand and played with the not existing ring on my finger.

"And I want her to have Dana’s name as her second name," Parker added and I smiled at her.

I’ve never been godmother of any child of my family because I always found a way to sneak out of it but now I was finally ready and I was happy to be godmother to a child like Caroline- a baby who already has taken a place in my heart.

"It’s not a problem Sarah really." I said and smiled towards her. I think that smile was as big as the Milky Way.

The day went forward. I helped Sarah in the kitchen and Mulder went with Jarod to chop wood outside.

"You know Dana that there aren’t a lot of people I can trust enough with this." Sarah said and sat down at the kitchen table, peeling potatoes.

"You mean with Caroline?"

"Yes. She and the baby I am carrying are the only two things which really remind me of my past and of our future. I want Caroline to be safe. I can't tell you the whole story now Dana and it's not important but you have to swear me that whatever will happen, you’ll be taking care of her, raise her like she’d be yours."

I sat down beside Parker and she put away the knife and turned towards me. She started to hug me and buried her head on my shoulder. "I know how it feels to be lost alone, to be the only one…." I let my hands trail around her back, hugging her and letting her cry. Maybe she really needed it. I do sometimes, just cry and nothing else but normally nobody is there to hug me.

"She will never be alone Sarah, I swear it." I said and meant it.

"You don’t know how much this means to me Dana, really." I sobbed and I let her cry for a little longer.

¶¶¶

I really lost it when we sat in the kitchen. I’ve never told anybody about my mum but I told Dana. I told her after I cried how much she’d meant to me and how much I miss her. She’s such a fantastic woman and not a bitch as I thought in the beginning.

She told me about how much she missed her Dad from time to time and her sister. How much she misses them when she sits alone on the sofa in her living room, waiting the telephone to ring. Her sister normally called at night to speak with her, only chit chat but it meant a lot to both.

And she was also Mulder’s best friend and knew about Mulder’s grief for his sister and what he would do to get her back.

In the evening, after my fiancé had been sleeping for several hours we ate dinner and Dana asked me if we have a game here, something to play in the evening.

"What about strip poker" Mulder said and the whole table laughed, even Dana.

"Mulder that’s typical you …" She said and laughed.

"And ?" Jarod asked giggling into the round.

"I don’t think that this is such a perfect idea boys. No free shows today." That had been my statement towards it. No way, I want to get naked in front of them at the moment. I was so bad at poker.

"Truth and Dare?" Mulder asked.

"Oh yes Parker truth and dare."

"You can't let it go, can't you Mulder?" Dana asked him seriously.

"How often do I have two such beautiful woman to play with?" he said and grinned. Typical Mulder, really. He loved to play, even years ago.

¶¶¶

It’s really Mister Porn with the triple X collection which didn’t belong to him. But in the end I’ve agreed to this game; don’t ask me what moment it hit me that it could be really fun to play it. Not just torture for me, real fun to get things out of Mulder which he’d normally not tell me.

"Who starts?" Jarod asked.

We were all sitting around the coffee table sipping our coffee, Sarah nursing her tea.

"What about you little redhead," Mulder teased me with an amazing smile.

"No Mulder you should start, it was your idea."

"Yes it was yours Foxy," Sarah agreed with me. We both laughed.

"Okay … I chose" he looked into the round, "I chose … you Parker …. Truth or Dare?"

Part 8

"Okay … I choose," Mulder looked into the round, "I choose … you Parker …. Truth or Dare?"

Always, always me, why me? He was the same man I stepped away from years ago because he was such a gentleman, so perfect. Everything I hoped to see in Jarod and I found it in Jarod years later, now.

"Truth," I answered and watched Dana smiling at Mulder.

"Don’t be so boring, Sarah."

"I want truth, Fox, and that’s it."

"Tell us the colour of your underwear."

"What a question," I said with a sigh and looked down the V of my pullover, "Black as usual," I finally answered with a smirk.

"Aha," Jarod said with a giggle.

"So it’s my turn … Dana … Truth or Dare?"

"Dare," she said staring at her hands. Maybe she was embarrassed.

"That’s my girl," I heard from Mulder’s side.

"Okay, what do I let you do?" I said out loud. "I want you to … hm … steal a kiss from Mulder."

Without saying a word she leaned towards Fox and placed a kiss on the corner of his mouth. He wasn’t surprised, not really. I saw the smile in his eyes and the warmth that radiated from his body whenever she was near.

Afterwards, Dana sat down and looked into the circle.

The game went on without further embarrassment. The males wanted to know about our underwear and harmless other things. I saw that Mulder already knew a lot about Dana, surprisingly. I couldn’t deny to star at Jarod how he watched those two.

"So now, Mulder, I want to see a real kiss from you. I mean that you, my dear Dana," Jarod said, "have to open your mouth a little bit for this fast tongue of his."

She just stared at Jarod, pale all over.

¶¶¶

Mulder should kiss me, will kiss me and I have to play with it. I have to sort things out a little bit.

How about: The four of us have been sitting on a blanket in front of the fire for about half an hour, and he's been sitting next to me. Sarah and I were drinking tea and, as always, the men were drinking wine.

I saw Mulder’s face coming closer, his big nose and this lower lip, made to be chewed on. Slowly I felt his breath on my skin, the warmth of his hands on my shoulders to steady him.

His eyes were closed and slowly he made his move. My eyes were closed now too, waiting in anticipation to feel his lips on mine. It took me a couple of minutes to realise that this was maybe a step for us, into deeper waters.

I felt his lips on mine and his tongue outlining my lips, softly begging for entrance. I opened my mouth and the moment he felt it, he was already inside, tasting me. God … how long has it been since I got wet from kissing a man? How long is it since I was kissed like that, somebody’s tongue gliding up and down the roof of my mouth, duelling with my tongue in harmony like now?

How about something like: The answer is easy – it's been so long I can't remember. It felt like minutes passed but he didn't stop. Mulder’s arms worked their way around my neck, pulling me towards him, not letting me get any breath. Hell, I’ll need a little oxygen soon if he goes on like that.

For a second I opened my eyes and saw Jarod kissing Sarah, his hands roaming her body. She was his and he was hers and both fit so perfectly together. It was unbelievable.

The first day I couldn’t stand Sarah and vice versa. She was everything I wasn’t, from tall with legs to her neck to the nice chest and her wonderful nice hair, her smiling eyes and, yes something else I won't have, an amazing baby and one waiting to be born.

Mulder's hands found their way under my sweater, gliding up and down the side of my chest. He wasn't touching anything that could arouse me more than I am now. Well, if you can even top that!

Suddenly he stopped kissing me and started to trail wet kisses down my neck to the V of the sweater, sucking on my ear and playing around my collar bone.

When I looked at Sarah she was smiling at me while Jarod had his head pressed against her belly. Her hands gave me the sign to touch him back. I hadn’t realised yet that my hands were both pressed on the floor to steady myself.

"God, Dana, I love you," he suddenly said and hugged me tightly.

My hands took on a life of their own, they moved frantically, ignoring the slower pace of our kissing. His skin was warm under the woollen pullover and his six pack was exactly what I'd expected, hot and warm and hairy.

My hands trailed up and down just above the waistband of his Levis jeans. I could feel his breathing getting shorter, like mine when I discovered his hands on the side of my breasts, stroking them firmly.

"Hm Hm…." Jarod said with a smile, "Mulder remember we are still playing."

"Sorry ...," he blushed and sat back next to me.

¶¶¶

That’s what I call making out at the age of over 30, classically and not too vulgarly. She is shy and I like that. Dana doesn’t seem to be the kind of woman who spreads her whole life in front of a man. But he knows her, and he knows what she likes and dislikes. I noticed that she doesn’t like butter a lot, prefers her marmalade bread without. He does so. He knows how much milk and sweetener to put into her coffee and that she likes the open fire.

"Let’s head to bed soon, they need the time alone now I guess," I whispered into Jarod’s ear while his hand played with my knee.

"It’s your turn, Foxy."

"Don’t call me Foxy Jarod, please."

"Okay you Parker …. Truth or dare?"

"Truth," I replied with a smile.

"Oh … I know something. If I asked you to make out with Dana, I mean kiss her in front of us, would you do so?"

Hell that was an easy question.

"That’s easy; yes I would, why not?"

"I mean really kiss her … "His eyes were dark, full of lust, telling how aroused he was.

"Why wouldn't I kiss a woman?"

"You would do that in front of me?"

"Why not, there is nothing unnatural about it."

"You wouldn’t?" And while he said that I shot a look to Scully and saw her sitting there smiling.

You want to provoke me darlin’? –Two can play this game! I got up from the sofa, of course a little light headed. "Let’s show them what we can do, Dana, okay? Just play along," I whispered into her ear before I started to kiss her!

Her mouth opened under mine and she tasted like vanilla. I have never spent a thought on how she might taste. Her hands closed behind my neck and drew me closer to her, she was leaning her back on the sofa which was behind her. My fingers worked their way into her hair, one playing with the strap of her bra on her exposed shoulder.

Was I excited about this? Well it wasn’t the first time I was kissing a woman but it was Jarod behind me and I couldn’t see his reaction. I broke the kiss and started to nibble on her earlobe. "What do they look like?" I whispered towards her. Her hands were on my sides, rubbing up and down the sides of my swollen breasts. "They're staring at us, Mulder rubbing his pants, Jarod shortly before. It makes them crazy I think. Want to go along?" she asked me with a slight amusement in her voice. "Yeah let’s go along, touch wherever you want me to and I'll do the same, maybe free us from the thick sweaters?"

The show must go on! Let’s play a top ten men fantasy on the floor of a cottage in the middle of the Alps, Jazz music in the background and a nice looking partner to play with and two lust ridden males on the other side, studying every move you make.

We got out of our sweaters. I straddled her softly with just my bra and maternity pants on. Her bra was dark green lace, hugging her curves perfectly, pushing them a little over the edge of the lace.

Her perfectly manicured fingers were playing with the black silk of my bra strap while her lips kissed my collar bone, sucking softly. I couldn’t resist a moan.

¶¶¶

Playing along, that’s what I'm doing here. It’s the first time I have been kissed by a woman and kissed her back and I saw what it does to Mulder. Seeing this is worth kissing a woman and making out a little.

Beside that, Sarah is a beautiful woman at the peak of life. I have never touched another woman’s breasts, except for medicinal advice. They were full and heavy, it won’t take her long and she’ll be wearing a maternity bra. Her skin was so soft and whiter than my own. I have freckles all over my shoulders and cleavage because I am a redhead, but her skin was like milk.

She started to kiss me hard again, like Mulder did before but somehow also different. Do women kiss differently? She is more sensitive, my lips won’t be rough the next day.

When her fingers had found my nipples a soft moan escaped the deep of my throat.

My fingers worked off her bra and found their way towards her soft breasts, stroking them, teasing her areolas softly.

"Jarod's already out of his jeans, Fox’s are more than just unbuttoned," she whispered into my ear and made me chuckle softly.

"Lie down, Sarah," I told her and she did. I went on all fours over her and started to kiss her, started to ….

END PART 8