Title: Home

Author: Xof

Fandom: QUeer As Folk

Pairing: Brian/ Michael (USA)

Rating: R

Series: Part 5 of the Dream Series

Summary: How did Brian come to be at Michael's before the auction? Brian's POV.

Warnings: None

Author Notes: This is a missing scene from Seasons Two, Episode Five. And as such it belongs to my Dreams Series. I recommend new readers read the other four stories in this series, "Only Everything" - "Drifting" - "On Dreams of You" and "Mind's Eye." There are inside assumptions I've imposed in the series to which you should be aware. A dedication to Margo who asked for more of these two and a thank you to Alexis for cheering me along.

Spoilers: Episode 205

Patience. Patience had never been one of his virtues. His looks, brains and cock...now those were virtues. Things of which he was proud, as anyone who knew him could tell. But patience. Well, he'd been playing with it lately. Learning that when practiced, it could assist him in helping someone he cared about. Help him in helping Justin.

"Fuck!" Brian swerved to avoid the asshole who'd braked in front of him. He pulled the Jeep over and took a breath. Okay, so patience could be a situational practice. Traffic crawlers were low on the list of his patience's beneficiaries. Brian jerked his seat back and stretched out his legs. There was so much about Justin that made Brian think of himself; his own nature. The enthusiasm for life, for sex and the awareness of self. It shown through Justin like the sunshine Deb had named him. And now after the bashing and struggling through recovery, Brian watched every day as Justin fought to be whole again. Patience in the face of frustration, anger and pain.

In his own life, Brian knew he'd never been one for inspiring that trait in others. Not in his family, that's for sure. He'd gained it on some level with Deb when he was younger, though now he felt it had been more like tolerance. He knew she loved him. There was no way she'd have kept harping on his ways if she didn't care. But he'd often given her cause to lose patience in equal measure.

Lindsay. Well, Lindz was the most patient person he knew. A born mediator, always seeing every side even to the annoyance of those whose sides she was championing. Course she'd lately shown a marked loss of patience with him, much to his balls' agony. Damn that woman and her grip. He's have to start calling her nut cruncher. Though for a lesbian, that may be redundant.

Brian smiled at his own sarcastic humor. Razor sharp and political correctness be damned. No, Lindz was a later patient presence in his life and not the one he'd been thinking about today.

The one person that had never lacked for patience, for adoration and love throughout Brian's life ... that was Michael. He'd been the person Brian turned to before all others, even standing silently by when Brian acted like he didn't need to turn to anyone for anything. Waiting in full acceptance for Brian to give in to his secret pain. Those times when Brian couldn't keep the tears inside - the comfort and kindness that Michael always gave, it was what Brian now strove to show Justin. He'd never succeed at being less than himself - that self being a self involved narcissistic prick at times - but with a little work Brian hoped the lessons he'd learned in Michael's care would strengthen his efforts with Justin's recovery. With both their pain.

Jerking his wrist round, Brian decided to try again. He'd phoned Michael twice today, always getting his answering service instead of the man himself. They'd been at cross purposes since Michael had returned. Brian with Justin, and Michael with the breakup and trying to regain the ground he'd lost in leaving. Clenching his jaw at the thought of what sanctimonious shit David must have given Michael during the breakup, Brian chose to avoid his own dismal sounding-broad-support at the news. He'd done what he'd felt would work for the short turn. He'd kissed Michael and told him that was where home was. In day time or in their dreams, home was for each the other.

Then afterwards, things had slowed to a strength sapping pace. Justin needed his attentions in a more immediate sense and Brian needed to work on his own shit in return. Michael chose to find comfort in the things he'd always seen Brian hiding behind - sex, pills and alcohol. Brian hadn't liked the picture of himself super-imposed on his friend. Michael wasn't made for being the man that Brian was. He'd have lost himself in the rush. So Brian edged around Michaeland Michael stumbled in talking to Brian. Each missing the companionship they'd known. It was why Brian had said yes to Comicon, knowing it would make Michael happy. Course then he'd fucked that up. The look on Michael's face at Babylon. The words he'd said, there and then later at the convention. Brian's own mantra thrown back into his face by the one man who knew it was all bullshit.

Bullshit, because after sixteen years there was such a thing as expectation and trust. There was being there for a friend in need, a friend in pain. Of never parting like they'd always sworn as kids. Brian had made sure that night - the very night he was playing absentee honoree as hero of the year - that Michael knew he'd remembered their promises. And that he shared the desire not to break the ties that bound them as each other's home.

They'd come out of all that with a greater sense of relief and a knowledge that things were back on tract for them as friends. They joked and squabbled, jibed and teased in the way they'd done before Justin's attack and Michael's leaving. They also yelled, cursed and told each other to fuck off a time or two. Didn't matter in the end. The anger never lasted.

Four rings and still no answer. Brian was just about to snap his cell phone closed when he heard the click of it being answered. Not letting Michael get a word in first, Brian snapped. "This makes three. Three times I've called. What the fuck's going on in Big Q land? The good taste police running riot in the aisles."

Michael mumbled something Brian took to mean he'd been preoccupied with something important. Sighing with feigned disinterest, Brian asked, "So you coming out tonight? Woody's at eight."

When Michael didn't answer, "What? They switch you to grunt shift again?"

Finally Michael's voice sounded quietly over the cell. "No, I quit."

Gut reaction, no thinking done...Brian laughed. "Yeah, the day you qu...."

Michael interrupted him, "I did. I quit."

Brian blinked and had to close his mouth before it processed. Silence echoed as he thought what to say. But it wasn't what he need to say, it was what he knew needed to be done. "I'll be over in half an hour."

"Yeah, okay."

Ending the connection, Brian shook his head. He couldn't believe Michael had done it, but damn Brian was glad to hear he had. Starting the Jeep, Brian pulled back out into traffic. He needed to change out of his suit. Then he'd be off to see Michael.

~~

Entering the loft, Brian walked straight for his bedroom. He quickly pulled off his work clothes, jerking his wrists free from the buttoned sleeves he didn't undo - cursing when his bracelet caught in his shirt's tight cuff. Brian rubbed his wrist, checking that the bracelet as still fastened tight. That it still covered the evidence of pain underneath as Michael had intended when he'd given it to Brian so many years ago. The gesture was one Brian did several times a day without thought, so much that it didn't register as important. But today, with his thoughts on Justin's anger and Michael's sadness, Brian noticed as his fingers traced beneath the shells. Taking a deep breath, he clenched his jaw. No, that was in the past and he had things to do. Brian yanked a pair of jeans up his legs. No time for underwear as he searched for soaks and shoes before blindly choosing a shirt out of his closet.

Brian stomped down the platform steps out of his bedroom as he shoved his wallet and keys into his back pocket. He crossed the room quickly, making for the door before coming to a stop beside the newest gizmo in his home. Justin's computer. Standing there, Brian could hear Justin's voice again saying how he couldn't "fix" Justin's problems. That it was false hope. The irony being that Brian could see now how similar the gift had been to the one Michael had given him. Bracelet - computer - the object wasn't the whole, it was what it could represent to both of them ... comfort and strength to continue trying for the one hurt, and for the giver - the sense of doing something in a situation that you had no control over when facing the pain of a loved one and not being able to take it away. Brian hoped in time that Justin would learn to accept the computer for the help it could offer, rather than the quick fix he'd bitterly thought it represented. In his own case, Brian knew the lesson was a difficult one. But one that had made him stronger years before.

Turning for the door, Brian left to join the man who'd taught him that lesson.

~~

The odd thing about Michael's apartment was that if a person stood in the hall outside the door, one could without fail hear any water that may be running in the bathroom or the kitchen. Brian had always thought it funny to mention on occasion when he wanted to aggravated Emmett or Michael about the luxury to which they were pathetically accustomed. Smiling at the memory of the last time he'd stood like this, Brian opened the door with his key. He listened to the shower running and smiled, tongue caressing the inside of his cheek as he played the vision of Emmett screaming naked in the bathroom as Brian had stood behind him making "EEK EEK" noises with a wooden spoon standing in for the knife from "Psycho."

Yeah, that had been a good day.

Entering the living room, Brian's attention was averted by the mess of clothing strewn across the furniture. Michael's work pants, shirt and even his sock were crumpled up into balls of aggression. That spoke to Michael's frame of mind over quitting. Must have been quite the scene considering that Michael never made a mess. Brian knew it to be one of Michael's "tells"...same as when his friend changed his hair. Always meant something was wrong.

Brian picked up the clothes, taking them to Michael's bedroom before coming back into the living room. He saw that Michael had dragged out the computer from against the side wall. It was sitting on the dinning table. Walking round, Brian laughed quietly. Captain Astro and Galaxy Lad Screensaver. Must mean that it was Michael's week for screensaver choice. Last time Brian had been over, Emmett had had a Will & Grace "Just Jack" screensaver up. Did the Nance ever see outside the box? First "Will & Grace," then "Gay as Blazes." Then back to "Just Jack."

Throwing himself on the couch to wait, Brian put his feet up on the coffee table. He looked around the room at the full meshing of Emmett and Michael's styles. All his friend's things where back in their places after one hell of a six week round trip. Turning his head, Brian noticed an envelope resting beside his feet. He made a grab for it after seeing the envelope was full of pictures. Flipping through, "Pride, Pride, more Pride." Tons of pics of the parade, several of hot men in body paint, a couple of Vic and Emmett. Shifting toward the end of the pile, Brian sucked in his breath at the last three pictures. "Oh shit, Mikey."

Michael in drag staring back at him. Not that Brian hadn't heard all about it from Em, Deb and Justin ... but seeing him. Completely shocking. Brian looked at two of the pics, one showing Michael standing with Deb at the parade's end and the other of Michael kissing his boss ... seeing him smiling and so proud. He remembering hugging Michael after he'd learned of the stunt. No, it was the third picture that drew his attention. Taken before the parade, Michael was sitting at Em's dressing table in the sequin dress, makeup and wig. He was looking at himself and the effect as if for the first time. The picture had been taken from behind and to the side of Michael, over his shoulder with his face framed in the low lights that edged Emmett's stage mirror. Smokey shadowed eyes, lined for emphasis. Full lightly glossed lips. And the blonde hair. Damn, who would have thought.

Michael had been fucking gorgeous. Not that he wasn't hot as himself, and not that Brian was looking at him in a feminine sense ... but the look played on Brian's gut. The shining lips, they looked wet like after a deep moist kiss. A look Brian had adored on Michael many times. The eyes, well Michael had fabulous eyes. Deep, dark and so focused when they looked at you. The makeup added to the intensity of his gaze. Brian couldn't help but smile, remembering the times when he'd used eyeliner himself in his younger days. Not that he'd been trying to pull a Nellie. But coming out as a teen in the late 80's, everyone wore it for the drama. Movie stars, rock stars and all the good boys on Liberty Avenue who dared to be noticed. And Brian had dared anything.

Smiling, Brian put the pictures down as he got up off the couch. "Yeah. Dare anything...like now."

Reaching the bathroom, Brian cracked the door. He could see in the mirror that Michael was standing with his back turned. Brian looked appreciatively at Emmett's bathroom design, the see through shower curtain over the old claw footed white tub. Lounging against the frame, his eyes turn to Michael. Still unaware of having company, Michael was washing his hair - arms up, leaving the line of his body pulled taunt. Pale skin wet and slick with suds. Brian bit his lip as his eyes followed down the evidence of the change in Michael. His friend had lost weight, that much had been evident in the way his pants hung looser at his hips. Brian had just assumed loss of appetite or worry had been the cause, but now he could see it was more than that. Sleek lines, muscles wiry from hard exercise. Michael had been hitting the gym while away it seemed. Brian's libido appreciated the effort.

Letting loose a cat call whistle which echoed sharply off the tiles, Brian grinned wickedly as Michael jerked around - cursing as shampoo got into his eyes.

Michael scrubbed at his chocolate browns and panted out, "You asshole."

Enjoying the moment, Brian teased an hello. "Hi there, Blondie."

Shooting Brian a look, Michael turned back to finish rinsing off. "Well, we do have more fun and all that."

Leaning back against the sink, Brian waited as Michael remained silent. There was no sense of unease on either of their parts with Brian watching Michael, of seeing him nude. Hell, the last time they'd been together in a bathroom, they had both been in Brian's shower taking that one last kiss - one last touch before Michael went to tell David his decision about Portland. Brian's body hummed with energy at the thought, his skin damp from the steam rising from over the curtain.

Trying to get Michael talking again, he asked, "So you gonna tell me what happened?"

Michael didn't answer. He just reached down and turned off the water, giving his eyes another rub as he straightened. Brian could practically feel the dread radiating off Michael at broaching the subject. As the seconds ticked by and Michael stood lost in thought, Brian reached out and pulled back the curtain. Brian came closer as Michael turned to meet his gaze. "Daydreaming on me?" He answered Michael's small smile with one of his own. "Or would drifting work better?"

Eyes widening as he reacted to Brian's offer, Michael's expression grew serious again. His friend looking sad but hopeful, Brian felt their mutual sense of intimacy returning after long being missed. Michael opened his mouth to speak, then closed it as he swallowed around the fullness in his throat. Finally answering in a gruff voice, Michael gave Brian what they both wanted to hear - one word permission for them to be lost in the dream once more.

"Sandman."

Brian traced the line of Michael's jaw, his thumb grazing across the moisture on his friend's lips. "Mikey."

Loving how Michael raised his mouth into the kiss, Brian leaned in to taste him with a slow slide. Michael always gave himself away when he kissed Brian. It was a heady feeling to be allowed that freedom after years of skirting the edges. Brian knew he'd been kissing Michael more often since his return than before he'd left. Now he realized it was this that he'd been teasing towards. Drifting on the press and pressure of wanting more.

Drawing back, Brian pulled Michael out of the tub. He looked at his friend, smiling wickedly as Michael's skin flushed. Humming appraisingly, Brian ran his hands over Michael's body and smoothed his fingers through the water as he traced over the man's peaked nipples. Michael had shaved his chest for Pride, leaving the space between his pecs clean - a sensation that Brian enjoyed so much he included it in his own grooming. Brian played his touch down then back, teasing Michael as he pressed his hands to cup his friend's tight round ass. Michael sucked in a breath and grabbed Brian's hips for balance, kissing him again with a laugh that fluttered warmth over Brian's mouth. "I'm getting you all wet."

Raising his eyebrow in mock seriousness, Brian murmured, "I certainly hope so."

Michael looked at Brian, letting the arousal shine through as he reached for Brian's shirt. He teased the buttons loose, pressing his cock against Brian. Once the shirt was open, Brian moaned as Michael ran cool wet hands up his chest and added light bites over his collarbone. Threading his fingers through Michael's short cropped hair, Brian pulled him up for another kiss. He shivered as Michael's moist skin pressed against his chest. Brian stepped back from the kiss and grabbed a towel. Biting his lip as he focused, Brian made quick work of drying his friend's skin - chest, back, ass, then legs - all the while avoiding Michael's hard cock until he chose to touch.

Michael groaned as Brian teased the soft towel between his thighs, drawing it up over his balls and then along the length of his hard-on. "Please."

Brian dropped the towel, kissing Michael as he took cock in hand. Damn, he could get lost in kissing Michael. In feeling the gasps and murmurs of pleasure against his mouth as their tongues played. Picking up his strokes, Brian pushed Michael around until he was against the sink then Brian dropped to his knees. Keeping his eyes opened, locked with Michael's, Brian took the leaking cock into his mouth ... letting it travel along his tongue before closing his lips around the hard silk. He kept Michael's eyes caught, knowing exactly how turned on seeing him sucking cock would make Michael. Especially given it was Michael's cock he was servicing.

"Brian, oh lord." Michael clung to the counter with a tight grip, his hips arching towards Brian's heat.

So close. Brian could see Michael was so close to coming. And Brian wanted it to happen as much as Michael did. Wanted to feel the spurts and pulse. To taste all that Michael had to give.

Picking up the pace, Brian sucked hard at the head...running his tongue against the slit before driving down until Michael's cock touched the back of his throat. Michael shouted and tried to control the jerk of his hips, but was lost as he came inside Brian's mouth. After drinking down the hot jets with a moan, Brian hugged his arms around Michael's body ... helping to ease him down as Michael's balance gave way.

Sprawled out on the bathroom floor, Brian panted as he fought to regain his breath. He winced as his trapped cock throbbed beneath the constriction of his jeans.

Michael slowly rose up, kneeling above Brian. Staring down like a man starved, Michael jerked open Brian's jeans. He didn't look up, didn't even wait a moment before bringing his mouth down over Brian's cock.

Brian jerked and groaned at the sensation of being claimed with such determination. He clutched at the shag bathmat, completely blind to anything but the bobbing heat of Michael's talented mouth. And the look of total rapture passing over Michael's face as he worked the flesh inside himself. Sucking, teasing and never letting up as Brian fucked his hips up in response, Michael drove him closer and closer. Then Brian's world exploded in a flash of white heat and he came hard.

Seconds passed as Brian fought open eyes he didn't remember closing. Looking around he had to laugh at the mess of their tangled dressed and not-so-dressed limbs. Sounding happier than he had in awhile, Michael joined him in the giddiness. Lifting up off of Brian's chest, he leaned in for a kiss.

Murmuring a pleased sound at the duel taste of each other shared, Brian hugged Michael close. Laying back after a moment, Brian asked, "You coming out with me tonight?"

Michael lifted his head from Brian's shoulder and grinned. "Yeah." Sitting up, Michael watched as Brian stayed on the floor. "Gonna become a permanent fixture if you don't move your ass, Sandman."

Brian smiled as he shook his head from side to side. "You're forgetting the way drifting works, Mikey. Time is relative."

At the mention of "time," Michael's jaw dropped. "Oh shit! What time is it?" He didn't wait for Brian to answer before getting up off the floor in a hurry. "Gotta check something on the computer."

He was almost out the door, when Brian grabbed him by the wrist and pulled him back for one last kiss. Brushing their foreheads together before releasing Michael's wrist, Brian smiled. "Don't think you don't have something to tell me later." When Michael started to frown, Brian teased. "But that can wait till you're not so naked." Brian got up on his knees, threading his fingers with Michael's own. Their gazes held for a moment before Brian looked down to see Michael was caressing his inner wrist with a thumb, gliding that same thumb over the shell bracelet. Brian didn't look away from that caress as he spoke, "Welcome home, Mikey."

Michael didn't speak in replay. He instead squeezed Brian's hand and leaned down to kiss Brian on the forehead before leaving the room.

Sitting back on his knees, Brian took a breath. He took a look down and chuckled at the tangle his clothes were in - shirt opened and half off his shoulders, jeans rucked down his hips with cock exposed. Getting up, he started putting himself back to rights. Washing his hands, Brian looked up in the mirror and saw the lightness in his expression. Knowing it was a good sign of things present and ahead, Brian smiled - liking what he saw.

Finis