Title: What Are Little Girls Made Of?

Fandom: Radio Free Roscoe

Pairing: Ed/ Ted

Rating: PG-13 (R ish)

Summary: Sometimes I feel like we're to young for all of this, to feel this much, like I'm not grown up enough. I feel like there shouldn't be enough of me to love you with. Like I should be exponentially larger to hold in allthese emotions.

Notes: This is set right after "This Just In", if you didn't notice how slashy Ed and Ted were in that episode, get your hearing and eyes checked and see it again. (btw if anyone would be able to make a Ted/ Ed icon for me, I'll write a fic for you, any fandom (provided I know it), any pairing, any theme, I want an icon, my site is lacking)

Notes part 2: I've decided to name all of my Ted/ Ed stories after ST: TOS episodes (so for those of you who hate these, I can't write more than 79 without going to another ST series for titles, be brave) this one is Ep. #10

Feedback: Please!!! <a href="mailto:Fco5273@aol.com">Fco5273@aol.com</a> or <a href="mailto:Katarin_MoonStar@yahoo.com">Katarin_MoonStar@yahoo.com</a>

Archive: My site (<a href="http://katarinshaven.bravehost.com">http://katarinshaven.bravehost.com</a>), WWOMB, ff.net, anywhere else just ask.


<center>What Are Little Girls Made Of?
by Katarin</center>

"Hey Ted?", I ask, nervously looking everywhere else but at him. We're lying on my bed and looking at the constellations I have painted on the roof. "Yeah Ed?" he answers, rolling onto his side, one arm draped over my chest and his head resting on my chest. He looks up at me and his eyes reflect nothing but love. "Today when we we're waiting for Lily to finish her test, you said it was like waiting for our own little girl to come home from her first day of school," I stammer out only managing to keep eye contact every 15-25 seconds.

"What about it Ed?" he replies, shifting so that he's practically on top of me. 

He stays there, holding himself above me by his arms alone, trying to hold my gaze, but I keep eluding him. "Do you really think about stuff like that?" I ask him, rolling over so that I'm face down on the bed. Ted's weight settles onto my back, comforting and warm and so *right*, I can feel myself get hard just from this alone. 

"Ed what are you talking about?" Ted finally asks exasperated. He doesn't roll off me though, he leans down and begins kissing light patterns across the back of my neck.

"What I guess I'm trying to ask is, well, umm," I'm really glad I'm facing the comforter because this way, I can stare at the delicately replicated scene of Greedo and Han in the Cantina on the coverlet, instead of wondering how my face could get so red, when it feels like most of my blood is pumping southwards. "Well umm, doyoureallythinkaboutusinthefuturelikethat?" I finally manage to get out, but I know I'll have to repeat it, because even if Ted can speak 'Ed' fluently, he doesn't speak 'warp factor 9 Ed'. 

I can feel his mouth open to ask me to repeat myself, his mouth brushes against the soft hairs at my nape and I shiver. "Do you really think about us
in the future like that?" I clarify, before he can ask, I rub the lower half of my body against the comforter for a little friction, and Ted finally gets the clue that I'm hard. 

"That's not what I meant when I said it, I mean I'm not really planning our possible children's future (or children at all really), but I do think about what it would be like. I mean you and me, together, like this," he thrusts himself against me for emphasis, poking me softly in the backs of my thighs, "it'd be a dream. I mean, we always planned to go to MIT together anyways right? This would just be icing on the cake."

"Icing?" I think to myself, no, this wouldn't be icing, this would be the entire cake. Hell, this would be the entire menu. Spending my life with Ted, spending my life *loving* Ted, is all I really want anymore. 

He thinks spending his life with me would be icing? Living under a roof, while loving Ted would be icing, so would having food and breathing. As long as I get to be with him though, wake up next to him every morning (like we get to on Sci-Fi sleepover nights), see his face every night before I fall asleep, smell his scent on me no matter where I am, I'd be content. How can this just be icing for him. 

The hard- on I've been cultivating for the last few minutes is rapidly dwindling, and I can't do anything about it. It's suddenly hit me that I'm in love with some one who doesn't love me the same, and I'm powerless to stop it. I'd die before leaving Ted, and if he leaves me, it would kill me. 

Something must show in my body language because before I know it, Ted's turning me over and rubbing soothing circles on my belly and chest.

"What's wrong Ed?" he asks and my heart nearly breaks with the concern I hear in his voice. 

"Liar!" I want to shout, "Charlatan! Impostor! Don't pretend you love me nearly as much as I love you." I don't say anything though, I just lie there, soaking up his warmth and soaking in his scent, Kool-Aid and Comics with just a hint of peanut butter. 

"Please tell me what's wrong Ed," Ted's voice breaks into my reverie, "I love you so much Ed. I can't deal when your upset, please let me help."

"Do you?" I ask him, before I can stop myself, "do you really love me Ted? How much? How much ICING am I?" my words are spoken softly, despite their sharp edge. I don't think I want to know the answer. I know I don't if he can actually quantify it. 

"What?" Ted asks, slightly befuddled, "Ed, you have to know that I love you more than anything right?" I make a noncommittal noise and he straddles me, looking right into my eyes. "I'm going to say this, and your going to listen, okay, I love you so much it hurts. Actually, physically, hurts. When I have to go to sleep every night without you, it takes me forever to feel comfortable. I can't stand my own privacy because for me, everything that is good and decent and perfect and *right* is in you. It's in your smell, in your taste, in the feel of you in my arms, god it's in your very *presence*. Your it for me Ed, and that scares me, a lot. I mean we're 15 for Christ's sake, we just started high school and I *know* without a shadow of a doubt, that I want to be with you forever.

"Sometimes I feel like we're to young for all of this, to feel this much, like I'm not grown up enough. I feel like there shouldn't be enough of me to love you with. Like I should be exponentially larger to hold in all these emotions. I feel like there can't possibly be enough room for all the love and warmth and caring and jealousy and annoyance and all the other billions of emotions that I feel towards you and have room for myself. I feel like there shouldn't be room for my own thoughts and ideas and emotions, and I don't really care. I could lose myself in you, so easily, and that scares me, because if you wanted to take all of me and run with it, I couldn't and wouldn't stop you. You wouldn't though, and I trust you in that. I know how much you love me and I'm secure in that. Trust me, okay? I'm still the same old Ted, just, you know, with the sex now."

I have to smile at that, and I know he's right, we've been best friends since forever, and even if our sexual relationship is new, this has been here for awhile. I can trust in this, because I've always been able to depend on it. It's Newton's 3rd law of Gravity, equal and opposite reaction, I love Ted, so Ted loves me. I have to smile as I think "physics, it's all around us," I wonder what Lily would have though of this example. There really isn't room for Lily here though, not when Ted is gasping like that and gripping me like this. Hmmm, this is what I have to look forward to, Ted's outrageously funny bedhead, possible time as a soccer dad, and those sweet little noises Ted makes in the back of his throat right before he orgasms. Wow, I guess it will be a better tomorrow


<center>fin.<center>