Title: Chicken Vindaloo For Christmas

Author:Larry

Rating:G

Status:Complete Story

Archive: Archive it please

Summary: A mystery gift travels the ship one Christmas eve

CHICKEN VINDALOO FOR CHRISTMAS

By Larry

Lister was returning from a quick a toilet trip. He gazed at the Christmas Trees, the streamers, the banners and the cards decorating the hallway.

"Christmas tomorrow" He muttered to himself grinning.

He reached his quarters and opened the door. He slipped something from his pocket into his stocking hanging on on the door and stumbled into bed. He ordered the lights off and drifted into a deep sleep.

*****

Two doors down Rimmer was rolling around in his bed. He couldn't get the phrase "Ha Ha I roll two sixes. You lose Rimmer!" out of his head. He started thinking about Christmas to distract himself from this phrase.

"All the lovely trees, lights, streamers and...and...presents...." he muttered.

Rimmer started thinking. He had never actually received a single decent (we wont go into that) present in his whole time on Red Dwarf.

"Well not this year!" He cried as he leapt out of bed.

He sneaked down the hallway careful not to wake anyone. He reached what he thought was Lister's door and tried to open it. Holly appeared where he had thought Lister's door was.

Holly gazed blankly for a moment or so and then spoke. "O ello Rimmer. Fancy meeting you out in the hallway in the middle of the night"

"Ssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhh" whispered Rimmer, stuffing a streamer into Holly's speaker's "Don't wake the other's"

"Why not, eh?" Holly whispered.

"Can't tell you"

"Ooooooooh being Father Christmas are we?"

"Not quite"

"Bein' the Grinch then?"

"Sorta, Yeah" Hissed Rimmer.

Rimmer yanked the monitor's power plug out and found Lister's actual door. Sure enough there was a stocking hanging there. Rimmer looked closer and saw a lump at the bottom. He shoved his arm in the stocking a grabbed the item. He slipped it into his pocket and raced back to his room. He took the present out and tossed it in his stocking. He opened the door and lay down on his bed, contented.

*****

Kryten had just finished the last Christmas ironing as Mr Lister had promised him the day off on Christmas day.

"Wow, what a wonderful present for Mr Lister, all this laundry. I don't know why i didn't think of it myself"

He sat and started to lof-off his mainframe. It wouldn't let him.

This was common when his memory was a bit stressed. He waited a minute then tried again- it didn't work. A message blipped up saying:

"1 urgent item remaining in Memory- DivaDroid mainframe cannot close until message is acknowledged"

"How curious" Kryten exclaimed, accessing his memory banks.

He stood up and walked over to the ironing board and slammed his head on it four times. He sat down again and once again accessed his memory banks. Kryten wandered over to the door. He stepped out into the corridor and continued walking until he reached Mr Rimmer's door.

He snatched an item from the stocking and went back to his quarters. He lay the item on a table and finally logged off his system.

*****

Cat was sitting on his bed eyeing a present Lister had secretly given him last night. It was so tempting. Finally he lept forward, scrabbling at the wrapping. He stepped back and stared- it was a whole crate of JMC Extra-Strong Hair Gel.

"I think, i'm gonna give Lister a present" Cat yowled "And i know just the thing"

He ran over to the fridge. He peered inside and poked here and there.

"Damn" he sighed "Where's some good old Jimbo's Pig Food when you need it???"

He walked out of his quarters and stooped by Kryten's. He peered in.

A shiny package on the table caught his attention. He skidded over to it. Picking it up he left the quarters. He stopped by a mirror to preen himself.

"Oh, i'm looking particularly lovely tonight!" He cried, leaving the mirror.

He sprinted down to Lister's door, stopped and rammed the package into his stocking. "There you go bud"

Cat slunk of back to bed.

*****

Lister's alarm clock buzzed to life. His hand reached out and grabbed it. He chucked it into his fishbowl since he couldn't remember how to turn it off. He rubbed his eyes and yawned.

"Where the smeg is my curry??" he moaned looking at his table.

He leapt off the bunk and staggered outside. He noticed a lump in his stocking. He reached in and grabbed it. He pealed the foil top off the package and dipped a poppadom he had found on the ground into it and shoved it in his mouth.

"So that's where i left it" He sighed "Nothin' like a good Chicken Vindaloo for Christmas.................."

THE END
This was a first time so tell me what you think..........