AUTHOR'S NOTE: Ever wonder how Our Heroes might fare in another science fiction universe?

Title: Dwarf's 7

Author: Thesseli

Archive: Yes for the WWoMB; anyone else please ask

Category: AU/crossover, ficlet

Rating: G

Summary: What if Da Boyz were in a different science fiction series?

Disclaimer: I don't own these shows or anyone from them. No money is being made, and no Federation troopers with big guns were harmed in the writing of this fanfic.

By Thesselie
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Two black-clad Federation troopers made their way back to their quarters at Space Command. One was dejected; the other was grinning ear to ear.

"Did you see what Supreme Commander Servalan wrote about you?" the shorter man said cheekily, pulling off his helmet to reveal a set of carefully-hidden dreadlocks. "She used the word 'imbecile' four times in the same sentence."

The other trooper also removed his helmet and stared at him, looking somewhat disgusted. "What were the other words?"

"There weren't any others, just your name and a dash."

They continued on down the corridor. "When did she write that?"

"I think it was after you tried to pick her up by hypnosis."

"Well...she must have liked us," he assured his companion. "She must have confidence in us, to send us on this incredibly dangerous assignment."

"I dunno, Rimmer," the first trooper said, shaking his head. "I just don't know."

Now it was Rimmer's turn to smile. "You're too paranoid, Listy."

******

v Back in her office, Servalan rubbed her forehead wearily, and again read through the orders that would send the two on their mission -- formerly Space Commander Travis's mission -- wondering for the millionth time whether she should sign them. Good help had been hard to find since the war with the Andromedans...still, it was hard to believe that these men were the best Space Command had to offer. It was certainly a comedown from the old days of the Federation. These two didn't look like they could catch a cold, much less a group of dangerous rebel terrorists.

As she prepared to make her decision, she considered the two possible outcomes.

Either they would complete their mission and rid the Federation of an irritating thorn in its side...or Troopers Lister and Rimmer would get themselves killed chasing after Roj Blake.

"A plan with no drawbacks," she announced to no-one in particular, and signed the orders with a flourish.

END