Title: That's One Mystery Solved

Author: Thesseli

Timeline: Series 6

Archive: Yes

Category: Gen/Humor

Rating: Gv Summary: Kryten makes an important discovery -- to him, anyway.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kryten, Lister, Rimmer, the Cat, or Red Dwarf -- Grant Naylor does. I'm not making any money on this story; and no humans,mechanoids, holograms, or cats were harmed in the writing of this story.

That's One Mystery Solved

by Thesselie

Lister, Rimmer, and the Cat came rushing into the control room of Starbug after hearing Kryten's excited call. It was the middle of the night; it had to be something big. The question on everyone's minds was the same: Could it be that they had finally tracked down Red Dwarf?

"Eureka!" the mechanoid exclaimed. If he _weren't_ a mechanoid, he would have been jumping up and down in excitement; he settled for gripping the last human being alive by the shoulders and shaking him earnestly. "I've found the answer! Oh, Mr. Lister sir, I've finally found the answer!"

"To what?" Lister asked, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"To a question that's been plaguing us for ages," he replied knowingly.

"Have you found a way for us to catch up to Red Dwarf?" Rimmer asked.

Kryten paused. "No, I haven't done that."

"Have you figured out who stole the ship?" asked Cat.

"Er, no, I haven't done that either," Kryten said.

"Do you even know where the ship is?" Lister sighed.

"Well, no," Kryten confessed.

"Then what's so smegging important that you felt you had to wake us all up?" Rimmer demanded.

"Why, it's how Legion could remove Mr. Lister's appendix, when he'd already had it removed years before."

The crew stared at him, speechless.

Undaunted, Kryten continued. "Do you remember several years ago, when Mr. Lister was transformed into a hamster and a chicken by the DNA modifier?"

"How could I forget," muttered Lister.

"When it returned him to his natural form afterwards, it used the DNA sample it had scanned when he first stepped into the machine. That DNA contained the code to make Dave Lister, complete and intact. When it remade him, it did so in the exact same way -- complete and intact. Hence, the new appendix." The mechanoid looked extremely pleased with himself. "I've been pondering that conundrum for quite some time. What a load off my mind."

The crew continued to stare.

"That's it?" Rimmer asked dubiously.

"Yes. What, it hasn't been bothering you as well?"

"You mean you interrupted my beauty sleep for that?" asked Cat in disbelief.

"Why, yes. Whatever's the matter? I would have thought it would be as great a relief to you as it was for me, to have finally worked out the answer to _that_ little enigma."

The three stood there, dumbfounded. Then they shook their heads and trooped off back to the sleeping quarters.

"Well," said Kryten, watching them leave. "I would have thought they would have been jumping for joy. Humanoids -- sometimes I just don't understand them."

END