Cry Havok

by Deanne

Disclainer: I don't own seaQuest or Lucas or Ender or anybody.

Note: This is a short companion piece to Young Old Children. It is set a few weeks after that story ended and I wrote it in response to the Gates of Heaven, Flames of Hell challenge. Young Old Children was NOT posted to this list. If you've read it somewhere, that's cool, Chance has it up at her site and I have it up at mine. I just rewrote. So that was a happy thing. http://www2.ra.msstate.edu
is the home of all My stuff.

If you haven't read Young Old Children, I don't recomend this one. I figure it will just confuse you.

This story has been written for approximately fifteen minutes. I just spell checked. Debbie hasn't even read over it. So sorry if I missed anyhting gramatically or it confuses anyone. Debbie usually catches such things.



Cry Havok
by Deanne

"You say, `I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.' But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked. "
Revelations 3:17


Sea deck was virtually deserted. Everyone who didn't have third shift was almost universally sleeping. Lucas Wolenczak didn't have an assigned shift, and if no one was paying attention he sometimes worked right through a sleep cycle or two.

Lucas wiped his hands on his jeans and leaned over a squat cylinder with his torque wrench. Captain Bridger had given him the assignment of "figuring out" one of the mementos their visitor, Ender, had left behind. The ansible was a beautiful piece of equipment by any standards. So far Lucas had relished the job. Now, if his duplicate ansible worked, he'd get the chance to test the set up. To be completely honest, the device had more implications for space research than undersea exploration and science. But seaQuest would happily take credit for bringing the new technology to the table. "If I can get it to work anyway," Lucas muttered.

His stomach let out a low grumble and he rocked back on his haunches. "Forget this." Lucas tossed the screwdriver into his tool case. He was halfway to the hatch when his vision got fuzzy and a throbbing pain erupted in his temple. Lucas balled his hands into fists and squinted his eyes in pain. He walked slowly, carefully to the steps and dropped his head between his knees. Gradually, his vision cleared and the pounding in his head receded to a dull throb. "Okay, bad move skipping dinner."

After he felt a little steadier, Lucas rose and made his way down to the mess. There weren't many people out and about but the crew working third shift required food and caffeinated beverages too. Lucas waved at the server and skipped around the main line. He grabbed a couple of oranges, popped an apple in his mouth, and snatched a soda.

"Lucas, over here," Tim called. Lucas bit his apple off and caught it on top of his oranges.

"Hey Tim, I forgot you're on third shift as of last rotation," Lucas said around his mouthful of apple.

"That's right, I'm required to be up at this hour. What's your excuse?" Tim drained his coffee and waited for Lucas to swallow.

"Just lost track of time. I was working on the ansible, and my stomach got vocal, so I decided to call it a night," Lucas replied.

The kid looked more than a little tired, but Tim could understand getting caught up in your work. He could remember staying up all night working on translations when he was around Lucas's age. "Sleep wouldn't hurt you any though. And you'll be thinking better if you get some rest," Tim commented. "Not to mention what kind of lecture you'd be in for if the Captain finds out you were up past 3 am... on a school night."

"Haha... funny," Lucas grumbled. "Everybody's too busy getting ready for the grant reallocation committee's visit. Nobody would notice me if I took up nudism."

Tim laughed shooting coffee out his nose. "I think someone might notice." He mopped up his mess, and smiled. "If you're feeling neglected, my door is always open. As long as you're fully clothed anyway."

"Not really neglected, well maybe a little. Thanks for the offer." Lucas tossed his apple core at the wastebasket and barely made the shot. "It's like, I want to talk to someone, but there isn't anyone I can talk to when I want to talk."

Tim winced. "I guess this would be a bad time to mention that I'm on duty in fifteen minutes?"

Lucas smiled and shook his head. "Not a big deal, I can always vent to Darwin. Later Tim."

"I'm free in around six hours if you still need to talk," Tim said. He crunched his styrofoam coffee cup and tossed it.

"Hopefully I'll be asleep in six hours. Thanks anyway," Lucas said around a yawn.

"All right then, Good night or morning or whatever." Tim squeezed Lucas's shoulder on his way out.

Lucas scooped up the remains of his dinner and trashed it. He started the short walk to his quarters, but every step seemed to get harder. He just wanted to shut his eyes for a minute. Someone brushed into him hard as they left the mess and startled him. "Woa, you are tired," Lucas mumbled and rubbed his hands over his face vigorously. Lucas laughed at himself. "I've gone seventy-two hours without sleep before easy. This is just over..." He glanced at his watch. "Fifty-two." He managed to drag himself into his quarters, where he was greeted by the guttural snores of his roommate. Lucas was too tired to even care. He drug himself into the top bunk, drifted into a fitful sleep, and he dreamed.

******************

Lucas sat staring out into the darkness through a window. A storm was coming. It boiled in the heavens like a giant black beast. He wasn't alone here. There were ghosts. Peter. Valentine. Bernard. Bonzo. Graff. Lucas refused to look away from the building storm. The ghosts were behind him. He could feel them touching him. He could feel their icy fingers in his brain, in his soul. And he knew that they were wrong.

Lucas spun around and shouted, "Don't touch me!" The ghosts were there and so real. A juvenile malicious Peter leered at him. A young innocent Valentine smiled. Bernard and Bonzo, the dead, accused without really looking or moving, the empty faces, children dead at his hands, begged for justice, for blood. And Graff, as always, just watched.

"I'll love you forever, Ender," Valentine whispered. She ran her hand along his jaw.

"I'm not Ender!" Lucas shouted. He tried to assert his personality, his identity against the rush of memories that weren't his, but they were so real.

"You are. Let me show you," Val whispered. She tried to kiss Lucas's face but he ducked away.

"Listen to him sister," Peter hissed. "He's not our dear brother. He's just a Bugger. He should die like one."

Lucas backed himself against the window and tried to pry it open. "Please don't touch me." The dead, Bernard and Bonzo, were no longer alone. A silent hoard had joined them. A million billion ant-like monsters, aliens, the Buggers, accused him of heir deaths. "I'm sorry," Lucas whispered. "I didn't. I'm not." And Graff grabbed him, pulled him away.

"I could never help you, not where you could see it. You understand. You had to be the one and we saved the world," the Colonel said. His hands dug down into Lucas's shoulders. And new more painful memories flooded his mind. Isolation, emptiness, and God it was so lonely. Lucas struggled.

"NO! I'm not him. You didn't hurt me. I'm not Ender!" Lucas screeched and managed to squirm free of the older man's grip.

*********************

"Lucas! Wake up man," Tony said. He was shaking Lucas on the floor. Suddenly Lucas stopped thrashing around. "You okay? You started hollering and then you rolled off your bunk. That must have been some dream, huh?" Tony stopped talking when Lucas finally opened his eyes. His pupils were dilated and Tony noticed that he was shaking. "Lucas? Talk to me man." But Lucas didn't speak he just kept breathing steady and shaking. "Man, be cool, don't move, I'm going to call for help," Tony said.

Before Tony could quite get away to retrieve his PAL, Lucas grabbed his shoulder. "I'm okay. I don't need anyone. It was just a bad dream."

"I don't like the way you're looking kid. After everything that happened a couple of weeks ago, I'd rather be safe than sorry," Tony said. He sank back down, openly showing his relief that Lucas was at least talking.

"That's what I dreamed about," Lucas mumbled. "I just need to talk. I didn't want to before, but now, I think I need to."

"You know I'm here," Tony said. "I'm a decent listener, when I get around to shutting up, and I'm shut as of right now."

Lucas stared at his hands. "Do you promise that this is just between us?"

"Scout's honor," Tony said holding up two fingers.

Lucas nodded. "After the whole Ender thing, I just wanted to forget most of it. Some bad things happened to Ender and his world and I didn't want to rehash them again and again. He was me. Sort of, a person I could have been. He did some bad things, Tony. He had good reason, but it was ugly.

"And then I was back. And everything was supposed to be okay again." Lucas paused and cracked his knuckles. "But I dreamed about him, his life. Faded ghosts of memories, that I knew weren't mine. Fragments that he left behind to haunt me. I wasn't scared; the dreams were less intense every time. They were fading and everything was really going to be normal again."

"But they were more intense than usual tonight?" Tony asked.

"More intense?" Lucas said incredulously. "That's an understatement. They were there, all Ender's ghosts. And they were aggressive. They wanted to touch me, and make me take on Ender's memories." Lucas stopped, knowing that what he wanted to say was crazy. "They wanted to make me into Ender." Tony's eyebrows rose toward his hairline. "Now you think I'm crazy."

"No, I don't," Tony said hastily. "I think you've been through a shock and you need a couple of counseling sessions with the Doc. Then you'll be good as new." Everyone had taken it for granted that Lucas was okay after the first few days he was back. Everything had seemed okay. Tony's stomach turned over. It was a little unsettling to find out that Ender had left behind enough of his mind and personality to disturb Lucas so deeply. Ender wasn't a bad sort, but no one deserved the kind of memories and pain that kid carried around. And Lucas was dreaming about his memories. "I'm gonna call Dr. Smith. Okay?"

"Tony, it's like 5 am. Let her sleep. I'll go see her tomorrow. I promise. Besides you gave me your word. This was between you and me," Lucas said. He started untangling himself from his sheets. "ed a couple of oranges, popped an apple in his mouth, and snatched a soda.

"Lucas, over here," Tim called. Lucas bit his apple off and caught it on top of his oranges.

"Hey Tim, I forgot you're on third shift as of last rotation," Lucas said around his mouthful of apple.

"That's right, I'm required to be up at this hour. What's your excuse?" Tim drained his coffee and waited for Lucas to swallow.

"Just lost track of time. I was working on the ansible, and my stomach got vocal, so I decided to call it a night," Lucas replied.

The kid looked more than a little tired, but Tim could understand getting caught up in your work. He could remember staying up all night working on translations when he was around Lucas's age. "Sleep wouldn't hurt you any though. And you'll be thinking better if you get some rest," Tim commented. "Not to mention what kind of lecture you'd be in for if the Captain finds out you were up past 3 am... on a school night."

"Haha... funny," Lucas grumbled. "Everybody's too busy getting ready for the grant reallocation committee's visit. Nobody would notice me if I took up nudism."

Tim laughed shooting coffee out his nose. "I think someone might notice." He mopped up his mess, and smiled. "If you're feeling neglected, my door is always open. As long as you're fully clothed anyway."

"Not really neglected, well maybe a little. Thanks for the offer." Lucas tossed his apple core at the wastebasket and barely made the shot. "It's like, I want to talk to someone, but there isn't anyone I can talk to when I want to talk."

Tim winced. "I guess this would be a bad time to mention that I'm on duty in fifteen minutes?"

Lucas smiled and shook his head. "Not a big deal, I can always vent to Darwin. Later Tim."

"I'm free in around six hours if you still need to talk," Tim said. He crunched his styrofoam coffee cup and tossed it.

"Hopefully I'll be asleep in six hours. Thanks anyway," Lucas said around a yawn.

"All right then, Good night or morning or whatever." Tim squeezed Lucas's shoulder on his way out.

Lucas scooped up the remains of his dinner and trashed it. He started the short walk to his quarters, but every step seemed to get harder. He just wanted to shut his eyes for a minute. Someone brushed into him hard as they left the mess and startled him. "Woa, you are tired," Lucas mumbled and rubbed his hands over his face vigorously. Lucas laughed at himself. "I've gone seventy-two hours without sleep before easy. This is just over..." He glanced at his watch. "Fifty-two." He managed to drag himself into his quarters, where he was greeted by the guttural snores of his roommate. Lucas was too tired to even care. He drug himself into the top bunk, drifted into a fitful sleep, and he dreamed.

******************

Lucas sat staring out into the darkness through a window. A storm was coming. It boiled in the heavens like a giant black beast. He wasn't alone here. There were ghosts. Peter. Valentine. Bernard. Bonzo. Graff. Lucas refused to look away from the building storm. The ghosts were behind him. He could feel them touching him. He could feel their icy fingers in his brain, in his soul. And he knew that they were wrong.

Lucas spun around and shouted, "Don't touch me!" The ghosts were there and so real. A juvenile malicious Peter leered at him. A young innocent Valentine smiled. Bernard and Bonzo, the dead, accused without really looking or moving, the empty faces, children dead at his hands, begged for justice, for blood. And Graff, as always, just watched.

"I'll love you forever, Ender," Valentine whispered. She ran her hand along his jaw.

"I'm not Ender!" Lucas shouted. He tried to assert his personality, his identity against the rush of memories that weren't his, but they were so real.

"You are. Let me show you," Val whispered. She tried to kiss Lucas's face but he ducked away.

"Listen to him sister," Peter hissed. "He's not our dear brother. He's just a Bugger. He should die like one."

Lucas backed himself against the window and tried to pry it open. "Please don't touch me." The dead, Bernard and Bonzo, were no longer alone. A silent hoard had joined them. A million billion ant-like monsters, aliens, the Buggers, accused him of heir deaths. "I'm sorry," Lucas whispered. "I didn't. I'm not." And Graff grabbed him, pulled him away.

"I could never help you, not where you could see it. You understand. You had to be the one and we saved the world," the Colonel said. His hands dug down into Lucas's shoulders. And new more painful memories flooded his mind. Isolation, emptiness, and God it was so lonely. Lucas struggled.

"NO! I'm not him. You didn't hurt me. I'm not Ender!" Lucas screeched and managed to squirm free of the older man's grip.

*********************

"Lucas! Wake up man," Tony said. He was shaking Lucas on the floor. Suddenly Lucas stopped thrashing around. "You okay? You started hollering and then you rolled off your bunk. That must have been some dream, huh?" Tony stopped talking when Lucas finally opened his eyes. His pupils were dilated and Tony noticed that he was shaking. "Lucas? Talk to me man." But Lucas didn't speak he just kept breathing steady and shaking. "Man, be cool, don't move, I'm going to call for help," Tony said.

Before Tony could quite get away to retrieve his PAL, Lucas grabbed his shoulder. "I'm okay. I don't need anyone. It was just a bad dream."

"I don't like the way you're looking kid. After everything that happened a couple of weeks ago, I'd rather be safe than sorry," Tony said. He sank back down, openly showing his relief that Lucas was at least talking.

"That's what I dreamed about," Lucas mumbled. "I just need to talk. I didn't want to before, but now, I think I need to."

"You know I'm here," Tony said. "I'm a decent listener, when I get around to shutting up, and I'm shut as of right now."

Lucas stared at his hands. "Do you promise that this is just between us?"

"Scout's honor," Tony said holding up two fingers.

Lucas nodded. "After the whole Ender thing, I just wanted to forget most of it. Some bad things happened to Ender and his world and I didn't want to rehash them again and again. He was me. Sort of, a person I could have been. He did some bad things, Tony. He had good reason, but it was ugly.

"And then I was back. And everything was supposed to be okay again." Lucas paused and cracked his knuckles. "But I dreamed about him, his life. Faded ghosts of memories, that I knew weren't mine. Fragments that he left behind to haunt me. I wasn't scared; the dreams were less intense every time. They were fading and everything was really going to be normal again."

"But they were more intense than usual tonight?" Tony asked.

"More intense?" Lucas said incredulously. "That's an understatement. They were there, all Ender's ghosts. And they were aggressive. They wanted to touch me, and make me take on Ender's memories." Lucas stopped, knowing that what he wanted to say was crazy. "They wanted to make me into Ender." Tony's eyebrows rose toward his hairline. "Now you think I'm crazy."

"No, I don't," Tony said hastily. "I think you've been through a shock and you need a couple of counseling sessions with the Doc. Then you'll be good as new." Everyone had taken it for granted that Lucas was okay after the first few days he was back. Everything had seemed okay. Tony's stomach turned over. It was a little unsettling to find out that Ender had left behind enough of his mind and personality to disturb Lucas so deeply. Ender wasn't a bad sort, but no one deserved the kind of memories and pain that kid carried around. And Lucas was dreaming about his memories. "I'm gonna call Dr. Smith. Okay?"

"Tony, it's like 5 am. Let her sleep. I'll go see her tomorrow. I promise. Besides you gave me your word. This was between you and me," Lucas said. He started untangling himself from his sheets. "I'm okay."

"I'm not screwing around with this. And you shouldn't either," Tony said. He picked up his PAL and Lucas came over and snatched it away from him.

"I'm fine." Lucas closed the PAL and tossed it onto his desk. "I'm going down to sea Deck to finish up the ansible and then around eight, I'll go see Dr. Smith."

"I guess that means you don't want to try sleeping any more tonight?" Tony asked.

"Not particularly. And I don't want to get anybody out of bed at this hour. So let me handle this," Lucas said. He started to look for something to change into.

"Fine, you go play with the ansible, but I'm coming to get you at eight and we're going to see the Doc together," Tony said authoritatively.

Lucas pulled a t-shirt over his head and gave Tony a long hard look. "I don't need an escort. But if you don't have anything better to do, fine."

"All right, see you there," Tony said. Lucas just waved half-heartedly and left. Tony plopped down on his bunk and sighed heavily. "The thanks I get for giving a damn."

Lucas was stalking down the passageway to sea deck. It was totally irrational to be annoyed with Tony for wanting to get him checked out, but Lucas couldn't help himself. He felt crazy enough, without a confirmation from Dr. Smith, or the unspoken confirmation Tony had given him back there that he was probably losing it.

Lucas switched on the lights in his workstation. The ansible, sat there virtually complete, waiting for him to put the case on it and wrap it up. Lucas took the metal casing and fitted it over the complex circuitry. Lucas took out his drill and squeezed the trigger.

White flashed behind his eyes and he was standing with a girl, Petra. She was taller than him and wore the green green brown uniform of salamander, the same uniform he was wearing.

"Okay, now hold your arm straight, and take time to aim," Petra explained.

Lucas held out his arm and aimed the gun straight ahead at the enemy gate. He squeezed the trigger once, twice, three times.

"Okay, watch this, Ender," Petra said. There was a dangerous edge to her voice. "You have to be able to shoot and move and think at the same time.

Ender? This was wrong. Lucas lowered the gun and Petra's voice became distant. I am not Ender. The world flashed white again and he was back on sea deck, clutching a drill gun. Chill bumps crept up his arms. "I'm going crazy." Lucas dropped the gun and took off running. 5 am or not, he needed help, now.

Lucas was climbing the steps two at a time and his footing gave way. He spun his arms helplessly and tumbled backwards, striking his head hard on the deck.

********************

Lucas opened his eyes slowly. He was staring at the ceiling from his bunk. The lights were out, and he should be sleeping. There was a battle tomorrow. Instead he reached out and pulled his desk off the top shelf of his locker. He typed his login A.Wiggin. Lucas paused for just a moment, but that was right. He was Andrew 'Ender' Wiggin. Suddenly the world flashed white and Lucas was outside in the dark. There was the lake, his lake. And a storm was coming. Lightning flashed and thunder shook the ground but the storm waited unbroken.

"Ender?" A small voice asked. Lucas spun around to face, Valentine.

"Yeah..." pain shot through Lucas's head. That was wrong. Why was it wrong?

"I'm scared," the young girl whispered.

"Always scared of lightning," Lucas whispered. And he embraced the little girl. A thousand memories flooded his mind, some good and beautiful, others painful and frightening. And then she was gone. Everything that had made her was now inside of him. Lucas stood and stumbled out to the dock.

"Hello brother," something snarled from the shore. Lucas heard it start out onto the dock. He turned to face the new apparition, a young twisted man.

"Don't Peter," Lucas whispered.

"You don't get the sweet without the sour. You can't have Valentine without Peter," he screeched. ThI'm okay."

"I'm not screwing around with this. And you shouldn't either," Tony said. He picked up his PAL and Lucas came over and snatched it away from him.

"I'm fine." Lucas closed the PAL and tossed it onto his desk. "I'm going down to sea Deck to finish up the ansible and then around eight, I'll go see Dr. Smith."

"I guess that means you don't want to try sleeping any more tonight?" Tony asked.

"Not particularly. And I don't want to get anybody out of bed at this hour. So let me handle this," Lucas said. He started to look for something to change into.

"Fine, you go play with the ansible, but I'm coming to get you at eight and we're going to see the Doc together," Tony said authoritatively.

Lucas pulled a t-shirt over his head and gave Tony a long hard look. "I don't need an escort. But if you don't have anything better to do, fine."

"All right, see you there," Tony said. Lucas just waved half-heartedly and left. Tony plopped down on his bunk and sighed heavily. "The thanks I get for giving a damn."

Lucas was stalking down the passageway to sea deck. It was totally irrational to be annoyed with Tony for wanting to get him checked out, but Lucas couldn't help himself. He felt crazy enough, without a confirmation from Dr. Smith, or the unspoken confirmation Tony had given him back there that he was probably losing it.

Lucas switched on the lights in his workstation. The ansible, sat there virtually complete, waiting for him to put the case on it and wrap it up. Lucas took the metal casing and fitted it over the complex circuitry. Lucas took out his drill and squeezed the trigger.

White flashed behind his eyes and he was standing with a girl, Petra. She was taller than him and wore the green green brown uniform of salamander, the same uniform he was wearing.

"Okay, now hold your arm straight, and take time to aim," Petra explained.

Lucas held out his arm and aimed the gun straight ahead at the enemy gate. He squeezed the trigger once, twice, three times.

"Okay, watch this, Ender," Petra said. There was a dangerous edge to her voice. "You have to be able to shoot and move and think at the same time.

Ender? This was wrong. Lucas lowered the gun and Petra's voice became distant. I am not Ender. The world flashed white again and he was back on sea deck, clutching a drill gun. Chill bumps crept up his arms. "I'm going crazy." Lucas dropped the gun and took off running. 5 am or not, he needed help, now.

Lucas was climbing the steps two at a time and his footing gave way. He spun his arms helplessly and tumbled backwards, striking his head hard on the deck.

********************

Lucas opened his eyes slowly. He was staring at the ceiling from his bunk. The lights were out, and he should be sleeping. There was a battle tomorrow. Instead he reached out and pulled his desk off the top shelf of his locker. He typed his login A.Wiggin. Lucas paused for just a moment, but that was right. He was Andrew 'Ender' Wiggin. Suddenly the world flashed white and Lucas was outside in the dark. There was the lake, his lake. And a storm was coming. Lightning flashed and thunder shook the ground but the storm waited unbroken.

"Ender?" A small voice asked. Lucas spun around to face, Valentine.

"Yeah..." pain shot through Lucas's head. That was wrong. Why was it wrong?

"I'm scared," the young girl whispered.

"Always scared of lightning," Lucas whispered. And he embraced the little girl. A thousand memories flooded his mind, some good and beautiful, others painful and frightening. And then she was gone. Everything that had made her was now inside of him. Lucas stood and stumbled out to the dock.

"Hello brother," something snarled from the shore. Lucas heard it start out onto the dock. He turned to face the new apparition, a young twisted man.

"Don't Peter," Lucas whispered.

"You don't get the sweet without the sour. You can't have Valentine without Peter," he screeched. The boy tackled Lucas and pinned him to the ground. Lucas screamed as the anger and fear of the memories poured into him. And then, just like Valentine, Peter was gone.

Lucas pulled himself into a sitting position and tried to catch his breath. A man, a familiar man, approached the dock from the shore. He strode purposefully out to where Lucas sat and gave him a hard look. "Captain Bridger?" But the uniform was wrong. "Colonel Graff..."

"Get up, Ender," Graff ordered. "You're a soldier. Soldiers don't wait for their commanding officer to tell them to get up. They pull themselves up and fight."

Lucas scrambled to his feet. "I'm sorry."

"You're the one... I never meant to hurt you. We had to save the world right?" Graff gripped both of Lucas's shoulders and stared into his eyes frantically. Lucas didn't bother to struggle this time. The lonely, painful memories of training and fighting flowed into him and Graff faded away.

Lucas wanted to cry, but soldiers didn't cry. The worst had to be over. There couldn't be any more pain. Then the silent hoard approached, the dead. Lucas screamed and jumped into the lake. But the dead followed. first Bernard and Bonzo, but then the billions of Buggers started to pour into the lake. Just when Lucas thought he would drown in the press of pain and grief and regret, they too were gone.

Lucas kicked to the surface of the lake and swam for the shore. His mind felt like it was being torn into a thousand pieces. One moment he was Lucas, the next Ender. He could barely breathe. Finally he collapsed on the muddy shore. He held his hands on either side of his throbbing head and stared up at the heavens. The storm ceased its majestic writhing and the clouds parted like the Gates of Heaven. A thousand fluid beautiful ships flooded through, filling the sky with their dancing pattern. Slowly Lucas lowered his hands. The pain in his head was gone.

"A Bugger fleet," he whispered. Then one by one the ships began falling out of the heavens and exploding. The ground didn't shake, and there was no noise. Only silent flames marked their crashes. The flames formed together into one giant torch. "The flames of Hell," Lucas whispered. It writhed and squirmed until the flame was gone. In its place, a giant grotesque insect-like thing appeared.

"We are, the Hive Queen," The creature said. It didn't speak. It had no need for a voice. Lucas simply knew that it spoke. "We have caused you much pain, but you have saved us much more."

"How? I killed all of you?" Lucas whispered.

"No child," the Queen replied. "You have killed none of us. You are damaged from our curiosity. For this we are sorry. The bridge pattern left in your mind by the Ender attracted our attention across the light years. We thought we had found a new young hive, but now we know that you are different. We witnessed the destruction and folly of our sisters in the Ender's world and now know not to repeat it."

Lucas stared at them, unable to comprehend for the moment what they were saying.

"There will be no blood shed between our species, for this we would thank you, and try to fix what we have disturbed." The Queen extended a claw and gripped Lucas's wrist. For a brief moment, Lucas knew what the Hive Queen saw. A million minds, joined as one and then he was free. "Thank you." The Queen said.

***********************

Lucas opened his eyes slowly. The world seemed so bright after the darkness of the storm. He turned his head slowly and confirmed his suspicion. He was in med-bay. His head was a little on the sore side but he felt pretty much okay. Lucas didn't even entertain the thought that what had happened had been a dream. It was still to hard to tell his memories from Ender's. The memory of the hive Queen's touch was still too fresh in his memory. And then he saw him. Captain Bridger was asleep by his bed. It looked like he was starting his beard over.

"Lucas?!" Wendy half-shouted. She rushed to his bed-side and pulled his hair back off his face. "How do you feel? Do you know your name? The date?"

Bridger sat upright and his face crumbled with relief. "Thank God," He said hollowly. He gave Dr. Smith a questioning look and turned back to Lucas.

"Hi. I feel fine. Name is Lucas Wolenczak. And it was T minus three days until the grant reallocation committee last time I was awake." His smile was more than a little nervous. "Clumsy me, falling down the stairs like that."

"It was probably caused by whatever I've been sensing in your mind for the past four days," Wendy said. "With that much turmoil, I'm surprised you could function at all."

"We've been very worried," Bridger said. He ran his hand over his beard. "For the first three days, your EEG changed every day. Wendy said you were scanning more like Ender than yourself, and we couldn't wake you up." Bridger took one of Lucas's hands. "It looked like you were gone. And then a few hours ago your mind started to reassert its normal rhythms. Not perfectly the same but dominantly, Lucas."

"I don't want you to worry, Lucas. Whatever happened here, in your head, I'm going to help fix it," Wendy said. She took Lucas's other hand but he shook it off.

"It doesn't need fixing," Lucas said. He crossed his arms over his chest. "And I'd rather you'd stay out of my mind for a little while."

"Wendy just wants to help," Bridger said.

"I don't need help. I need time. There were two minds living here." Lucas patted his head. "The dormant impression Ender left and myself. Now there's just one."

Bridger drew back and crossed his own arms. "And you're okay with that? What caused the two to join? Why now?"

"The Hive Queen constructed the bridge into Ender's mind in his world..." Lucas said.

"You mean the Buggers?" Wendy asked.

Lucas shook his head. "They call themselves the Hive Queen. In this universe, they hadn't gotten around to colonizing our area of the galaxy yet but they were getting close. They were always scanning for intelligence, for a mind like their own. The dormant bridge gave them a false positive result."

"They thought the bridge was another hive mind and so they sought it out," Bridger said.

"Exactly. They couldn't access the bridge unless it became active. To make it active, they had to pull the dormant mind into an active state. They had to merge it with my own."

"Now what?" Wendy asked. "Did the hive find what it wanted?"

"They discovered humanity in all its danger and expanded their understanding of intelligence. They don't want a fight. They're going to stay away for now." Lucas folded his covers nervously. "They would have undone the merging if they could. After they had all the facts, all they could do was restore my dominance in my own mind. And I am okay with that. I just need a little time to get used to it." Lucas stopped talking and waited for a response.

"I'll steer clear of your head forever if that's what you want," Wendy leaned over and gave Lucas a hug. "You know, I think I sensed her, the Hive Queen, for maybe a moment. It felt like Bells in my head." Wendy turned and walked toward the door. "I'll be back in a few minutes."

Lucas turned to Bridger. "So four days, guess I missed the reallocation committee. How did it go?"

"I have no idea," Bridger said. "Up until now it hadn't really crossed my mind."

Lucas stared at Bridger open-mouthed. "You have to be kidding. You don't even know what they thought of the new programming on the vocorder or the ansible?"

Bridger actually laughed. "I had more pressing problems."

Lucas didn't know what to say. He smiled and nodded. "Thank you."

"For what, Lucas? I wasn't able to help you," Bridger said. "I warmed this chair for fours days and was absolutely useless."

A tear slipped down Lucas's cheek. "You were right there when I woke up. You didn't have to be." Lucas wiped his eyes on his arm and smiled. "Ender's memories are here, but they aren't mine. And whenever I e boy tackled Lucas and pinned him to the ground. Lucas screamed as the anger and fear of the memories poured into him. And then, just like Valentine, Peter was gone.

Lucas pulled himself into a sitting position and tried to catch his breath. A man, a familiar man, approached the dock from the shore. He strode purposefully out to where Lucas sat and gave him a hard look. "Captain Bridger?" But the uniform was wrong. "Colonel Graff..."

"Get up, Ender," Graff ordered. "You're a soldier. Soldiers don't wait for their commanding officer to tell them to get up. They pull themselves up and fight."

Lucas scrambled to his feet. "I'm sorry."

"You're the one... I never meant to hurt you. We had to save the world right?" Graff gripped both of Lucas's shoulders and stared into his eyes frantically. Lucas didn't bother to struggle this time. The lonely, painful memories of training and fighting flowed into him and Graff faded away.

Lucas wanted to cry, but soldiers didn't cry. The worst had to be over. There couldn't be any more pain. Then the silent hoard approached, the dead. Lucas screamed and jumped into the lake. But the dead followed. first Bernard and Bonzo, but then the billions of Buggers started to pour into the lake. Just when Lucas thought he would drown in the press of pain and grief and regret, they too were gone.

Lucas kicked to the surface of the lake and swam for the shore. His mind felt like it was being torn into a thousand pieces. One moment he was Lucas, the next Ender. He could barely breathe. Finally he collapsed on the muddy shore. He held his hands on either side of his throbbing head and stared up at the heavens. The storm ceased its majestic writhing and the clouds parted like the Gates of Heaven. A thousand fluid beautiful ships flooded through, filling the sky with their dancing pattern. Slowly Lucas lowered his hands. The pain in his head was gone.

"A Bugger fleet," he whispered. Then one by one the ships began falling out of the heavens and exploding. The ground didn't shake, and there was no noise. Only silent flames marked their crashes. The flames formed together into one giant torch. "The flames of Hell," Lucas whispered. It writhed and squirmed until the flame was gone. In its place, a giant grotesque insect-like thing appeared.

"We are, the Hive Queen," The creature said. It didn't speak. It had no need for a voice. Lucas simply knew that it spoke. "We have caused you much pain, but you have saved us much more."

"How? I killed all of you?" Lucas whispered.

"No child," the Queen replied. "You have killed none of us. You are damaged from our curiosity. For this we are sorry. The bridge pattern left in your mind by the Ender attracted our attention across the light years. We thought we had found a new young hive, but now we know that you are different. We witnessed the destruction and folly of our sisters in the Ender's world and now know not to repeat it."

Lucas stared at them, unable to comprehend for the moment what they were saying.

"There will be no blood shed between our species, for this we would thank you, and try to fix what we have disturbed." The Queen extended a claw and gripped Lucas's wrist. For a brief moment, Lucas knew what the Hive Queen saw. A million minds, joined as one and then he was free. "Thank you." The Queen said.

***********************

Lucas opened his eyes slowly. The world seemed so bright after the darkness of the storm. He turned his head slowly and confirmed his suspicion. He was in med-bay. His head was a little on the sore side but he felt pretty much okay. Lucas didn't even entertain the thought that what had happened had been a dream. It was still to hard to tell his memories from Ender's. The memory of the hive Queen's touch was still too fresh in his memory. And then he saw him. Captain Bridger was asleep by his bed. It looked like he was starting his beard over.

"Lucas?!" Wendy half-shouted. She rushed to his bed-side and pulled his hair back off his face. "How do you feel? Do you know your name? The date?"

Bridger sat upright and his face crumbled with relief. "Thank God," He said hollowly. He gave Dr. Smith a questioning look and turned back to Lucas.

"Hi. I feel fine. Name is Lucas Wolenczak. And it was T minus three days until the grant reallocation committee last time I was awake." His smile was more than a little nervous. "Clumsy me, falling down the stairs like that."

"It was probably caused by whatever I've been sensing in your mind for the past four days," Wendy said. "With that much turmoil, I'm surprised you could function at all."

"We've been very worried," Bridger said. He ran his hand over his beard. "For the first three days, your EEG changed every day. Wendy said you were scanning more like Ender than yourself, and we couldn't wake you up." Bridger took one of Lucas's hands. "It looked like you were gone. And then a few hours ago your mind started to reassert its normal rhythms. Not perfectly the same but dominantly, Lucas."

"I don't want you to worry, Lucas. Whatever happened here, in your head, I'm going to help fix it," Wendy said. She took Lucas's other hand but he shook it off.

"It doesn't need fixing," Lucas said. He crossed his arms over his chest. "And I'd rather you'd stay out of my mind for a little while."

"Wendy just wants to help," Bridger said.

"I don't need help. I need time. There were two minds living here." Lucas patted his head. "The dormant impression Ender left and myself. Now there's just one."

Bridger drew back and crossed his own arms. "And you're okay with that? What caused the two to join? Why now?"

"The Hive Queen constructed the bridge into Ender's mind in his world..." Lucas said.

"You mean the Buggers?" Wendy asked.

Lucas shook his head. "They call themselves the Hive Queen. In this universe, they hadn't gotten around to colonizing our area of the galaxy yet but they were getting close. They were always scanning for intelligence, for a mind like their own. The dormant bridge gave them a false positive result."

"They thought the bridge was another hive mind and so they sought it out," Bridger said.

"Exactly. They couldn't access the bridge unless it became active. To make it active, they had to pull the dormant mind into an active state. They had to merge it with my own."

"Now what?" Wendy asked. "Did the hive find what it wanted?"

"They discovered humanity in all its danger and expanded their understanding of intelligence. They don't want a fight. They're going to stay away for now." Lucas folded his covers nervously. "They would have undone the merging if they could. After they had all the facts, all they could do was restore my dominance in my own mind. And I am okay with that. I just need a little time to get used to it." Lucas stopped talking and waited for a response.

"I'll steer clear of your head forever if that's what you want," Wendy leaned over and gave Lucas a hug. "You know, I think I sensed her, the Hive Queen, for maybe a moment. It felt like Bells in my head." Wendy turned and walked toward the door. "I'll be back in a few minutes."

Lucas turned to Bridger. "So four days, guess I missed the reallocation committee. How did it go?"

"I have no idea," Bridger said. "Up until now it hadn't really crossed my mind."

Lucas stared at Bridger open-mouthed. "You have to be kidding. You don't even know what they thought of the new programming on the vocorder or the ansible?"

Bridger actually laughed. "I had more pressing problems."

Lucas didn't know what to say. He smiled and nodded. "Thank you."

"For what, Lucas? I wasn't able to help you," Bridger said. "I warmed this chair for fours days and was absolutely useless."

A tear slipped down Lucas's cheek. "You were right there when I woke up. You didn't have to be." Lucas wiped his eyes on his arm and smiled. "Ender's memories are here, but they aren't mine. And whenever I have to remind myself of that, I think of you and Colonel Graff and I remember who I am." Lucas looked away. "How can I forget who I am, If I can remember who I want to be?"

Nathan stood and gave Lucas a long tight hug. "Don't ever scare me like that again... I love you."



The End