Flesh and Blood
by Karel
PG for cursing, body fluid (is that the right term? ) and 'biology'.
Nothing that you won't find in family life or science class.
Thanks to Evermore and Georgie for inspiration, Bridget for information, Melissa for proper punctuation (etc.) and Margaret for plot help and the picture (drooooool!)
Comments gratefully accepted. I could go many ways with this - tell me what you think. I hope I've stayed true to the characters. As most of you know, that's important to me. It's hard to know how they would react in this situation. It's so....unusual :-) But I hope semi believable - I mean, I can't screw it up worse than the writers did!
FLESH AND BLOOD
By Karel
Lucas trudged to his quarters, tired after his long shift. He still wasn't used to working a shift straight through as an official member of the UEO. As a civilian, he had worked long hours but there were plenty of people to make sure he had breaks and his work had varied throughout the day. Now, as an officer, it felt as if he did the same thing for hours on end and no one was concerned with his work habits. As much as he had resented it at the time, he missed being treated as the little brother.
Entering his quarters, he noticed it was empty and wondered where Tony had gone to. He was hoping for some company for dinner. Undoing the zipper on his jumpsuit slowly, he slipped out of his shoes and OOkicked them under the bed. Opening his locker, he hesitated and then grabbed for a shirt that had fallen to the floor, and slid the top of the jumpsuit off, replacing it with the soft comfortable flannel.
It was then he noticed the envelope sitting on top of his computer. Finally, mail delivery. He snatched it up eagerly, and flipped through it. Junk...junk..a postcard from Biff....junk....computer magazine....what the heck? Frowning, he studied the return address. Federal Social Security. Ripping open the envelope, he pulled out several pieces of paper. One was letter and there were two applications.
'Dear Mr. Wolenczak, Please be advised that you must register your son, Michael, with the Social Security office by his fifth birthday. Thank you.'
Confused, he read through the letter several times, searching for the missing piece. A son? Somebody had made a huge clerical error. Or some practical joke from a friend, Tony perhaps. He laughed to himself, crushing the whole thing into a ball and throwing it in the trash can. A son...only if it was some sort of miracle conception. Kicking off his jumpsuit, he pulled on a pair of faded jeans, shoved his feet into his sneakers and left to find some dinner and some company.
It was late that night as he was lying in bed, when he remembered the letter and a stray thought crossed his mind. Nathan's grandson was named Michael....mmm, that was strange. Rolling over, he closed his eyes, listening to Tony snore. The seed of doubt that had been planted started to grow and he attempted to quiet it with sound logic. He had never actually gone all the way with a girl, and that's how babies were made, right? So the letter might be a mistake and the name just a coincidence, right? The whole thing was impossible. Besides, Bridger would NEVER lie to him. At least about something this important. A wicked little voice inside whispered...unless he thought it was for your own good.
Falling into an uneasy sleep, his dreams were filled with aliens, man eating plants, gigantic crocodiles and golden haired, blue eyed little boys.
****
The next morning, Lucas sat at the mess hall table, nursing a cup of lukewarm coffee. Bits of conversation flew around him as the other occupants of the table laughed and joked their way through breakfast.
"Hey, Luke, we've gotta go on duty in five minutes. Aren't you going to have something real to eat?" Tony questioned him.
"What are you, my mother?" Lucas glared back at him.
Getting up, Tony gave him a grin. "Grumpy this morning. I'll have to talk to the Captain about giving you an earlier bed time." Tony took his tray and left.
The others got up to leave, but Tim lingered behind. "Everything ok, Lucas? You were awfully quiet."
Looking up to meet Tim's concerned eyes, Lucas' prickly attitude soften a little. "Yeah, Tim, I just...have some stuff to think about."
"Well, if I can do anything to help...." Tim's voice trailed off softly, as Lucas shook his head.
The younger man swallowed the rest of his coffee, got up and moved a few steps away. "We'd better get to work." He waited for O'Neill to catch up and they walked together to the bridge.
****
After his duty shift ended, Lucas sat down at his computer and stared at the screen. This was stupid. Why was this bothering him? Running his fingers though his hair, he called up the internex and did a search for Wolenczak and birth record. The search came up with 100 hits. Sitting back for awhile, nervously tapping his fingers on the desk, he was ready to switch the computer off and forget the whole thing. But it pulled him like a magnet, and his curiosity got the better of him. Scrolling down, he saw a bunch of names, web sites, his father's name, then his own name. There. He stared at the screen in disbelief. Michael Wolenczak. Holding his breath, he clicked on the name.
Born: November 12, 2028, New Cape Quest Mother: Emily Rose Morgan.
Father: Lucas David Wolenczak.
His first reaction was disbelief. There must be another Lucas David Wolenczak in the world. And who the hell was Emily Morgan. His second reaction was to throw up. Which he did, in the trash can. Quickly, he saved the information to his hard drive and then exited the internex. Taking the can, he went out in the hallway, dumping the contents in the waste disposal and trudged slowly down to the bathroom. Splashing cold water several times on his face, he glared at his image in the mirror. What the hell was going on? Making a decision, he straightened his uniform and smoothed his hair. He was going to find out WHAT was going on.
*******
Standing at rigid attention, Lucas stared at a spot three inches over Hudson's shoulder. "Sir, I would like to ask permission for immediate leave."
"I assume you have a good reason for this request, Ensign," Hudson asked in a neutral voice. Studying the Ensign, he noticed the tense shoulders, the tight control he seemed to be maintaining and wondered what was going on. Ever since the Chaudaii incident, the younger man had been reserved and uncommunicative, devoting himself to his work. He hardly even played with the dolphin anymore.
"It's personal, Captain, a family matter," Lucas answered in a cold tone, hoping that Hudson wouldn't push the subject any further. He had never lied to a Captain and he didn't want to have to start now.
After a few seconds, Hudson consented. "You have a week, Wolenczak. I'll have a shuttle take you to the coast and then you can catch a plane to where ever you need to go."
As Lucas muttered a few words of gratitude, and turned towards the door, Hudson's voice stopped him.
"I hope everything is all right."
Giving a quick nod, Lucas left behind the puzzled Captain.
****
Leaning his head back against the shuttle seat, Lucas closed his eyes, and tried to relax. After Hyperion, when he went to the island to find Bridger, he had met Michael but had seldom seen him after that. Since that time, he had talked to Nathan over the vidlink several times, between the Captain's visits to the SQ, but had never seen Michael again. The Captain always seemed awkward when talking about his grandson, often changing the subject abruptly. Thinking about it all now only made Lucas more suspicious. A cold chill settled into his body.
***
Nathan Bridger straightened up, one hand pressing on his aching back. Wiping the sweat from his forehead, he smiled at the boy who was watching his every move intently. "See, Michael? Once we dig the holes, then we push the seed in and cover it back up. With some water and sunlight, we should see some sprouts in a week."
"What if the birds try to dig them up and eat them, Pop-Pop? Can we make a scarecrow? And do we need ....um, fertilizer?" Michael said the last word slowly, having just learned it from the plant book he was currently reading.
Nathan knew what was coming next. This boy could sure come up with a lot of questions. "Whoa," he answered, putting out his hand to stop the assault of words. He stood up. Let me wash up, and get settled in my chair with a nice cold glass of lemonade, and then you can ask me anything you want." Dropping one arm across the boy's shoulder, he pulled Michael close to him. "C'mere, kiddo," he said affectionately as they walked to the house. "Later, you can come out and plant the rest of the seeds."
"Can I ask Nana to help me?" The boy asked eagerly.
"I'm sure Kristin would love to help you."
As the evening sky turned pink and purple later that day, Nathan and Kristin sat on the deck, watching Michael play in the yard below with Cooper, a big golden retriever. "Are you glad we moved here, Kristin?" Bridger asked, not for the first time.
"I miss the island, but being here is good for Michael. He needs to be around people, Nathan, not isolated."
"I will be glad when he starts kindergarten in a few weeks," Nathan admitted. "He's so curious about everything, I haven't got enough hours in the day to answer all his questions. I can't remember Robert being like this. I'm afraid he'll be bored in a regular kindergarten class."
"In a few months, I'll arrange to have his IQ tested and get him some private tutoring, but in the meantime, being with kids his own age will be good for him and he'll learn the rules of school." She lowered her voice and moved closer to Nathan, glancing down at the small boy playing. "We've talked about this many times. He needs to live a normal life," she chided gently.
Looking off into space, Nathan wondered for the millionth time if he had done the right thing. His thoughts were broken when 40 pounds of energy jumped it to his lap. "Aoofh! Why you...this means a tickle war." He quickly reduced the boy into a wiggling mass of giggles.
Lucas, rounding the corner of the house, stopped at the sight of the happy domestic scene. "Is he my son?" he demanded in a loud voice.
Kristin and Nathan, their attention focused on Michael, froze at the sound of Lucas' voice. It was a voice edged with fury mixed with pain. Exchanging a look with Kristin, Bridger, holding Michael, turned to face the younger man. "Yes."
"How?"
"Your father..." Bridger began only to be interrupted when Lucas exploded in fury.
"My father, I should have known he had to play a role in this some where. He's dead and he can still reach out to screw with my head! And you kept this from me? You're suppose to be my best friends, adults I could depend on, how could you hide this from me?" Walking in circles, waving his hands, he continued to scream at them until he caught sight of the wide blue eyes staring at him from Nathan's arms. Suddenly, the truth hit him like a ton of bricks, deflating his anger like a balloon.
Kristin stepped forward. "Michael, this is your father."
The young boy frowned at her. "Father? I thought you said my father was far away on a trip."
Shooting a cold glare at Kristin and Nathan, Lucas plastered a smile on his face. "Well, I'm here now. How would you like to go for ice cream? I bet you like ice cream don't you?" He went over to Nathan, and he took the boy in his arms, trying to look like he had held hundreds of children, but failing.
"Lucas, I don't think this is a good idea,"Kristin said tentatively as Lucas started backing away from them.
A look of panic crossed Michael's face as he realized that he was being separated from his beloved grandparents. "Pop-pop!" he cried, reaching his hands out. He started struggling, pushing away from Lucas, who held him tightly.
Moving slowly as not to scare the boy, Nathan tried to block Lucas' path out of the backyard. "Don't do this, Lucas," he warned. "Please, Lucas, stay here and we'll work this out."
"No. You lied to me, I can't trust you anymore," Lucas spat at them. "He's my responsibility. He's my son. Just leave us alone ."
"Where are you going? You can't go back to seaQuest with him, Ensign?"
Kristin's question and use of his rank made him hesitate for a minute, as if he hadn't consider his future action yet. "We'll be at a hotel, and I'll resign and then we'll find a house and be happy together." With that, Lucas' practically ran for the street and the car parked there.
Kristin jumped forward, pulling Nathan's arm as he lunged at Lucas.
"No. What if you knock him over, or cause him to stumble? Michael could get hurt," murmured Kristin in a quiet voice. "Let them go."
His heart breaking at Michael's wails, Nathan turned to envelope Kristin in a bear hug as Lucas put Michael in the backseat of the car and drove off. "Oh, god, what have I done?"
Pulling away a little, Kristin cupped her hand under Nathan's chin, forcing him to look at her. "You thought you were doing what was best for both of them. Now he knows. We'll deal with it best we can."
Breaking from her embrace, Nathan strode towards the house. "I'm calling the police..."
Hurrying after him, Kristin protested. "And tell them what? Lucas kidnapped his son? And what will that do? Lucas will end up in jail and will never speak to us ever again."
Realizing the logic in Kristin's reasoning, Nathan sat heavily in a chair on the deck, staring out at the backyard and Michael's toys scattered on the grass. "Lucas doesn't know anything about taking care of a child."
A small smile appeared on Kristin's face. "That's what I'm counting on."
*****
After leaving Nathan and Kristin, with Michael crying in the back seat, Lucas drove around for awhile in a total panic, trying to figure out what the heck he was doing. He almost went back, ready to admit he had made a huge mistake, until a little voice came from the back seat, "I thought we were going to get ice cream?" Glancing in the rearview mirror, Lucas saw the boy had stopped crying and was staring at him curiously.
"You want ice cream? At the boy's vigorous nod, Lucas smiled. Maybe things would work out after all. "OK, ice cream is the next stop."
Sitting in the booth at the restaurant, Michael studied his menu intently as the waitress waited to take their order. "Can I have a sundae," he asked hopefully, "with chocolate ice cream?" He continued as Lucas nodded, "with hot fudge AND marshmallow and whipped cream with sprinkles and a cherry?"
"Yes, yes and yes," Lucas agreed, eager to please the boy. "I'll just have a cup of coffee."
The waitress collected the menus and disappeared.
"So, Pop Pop says you talk with his dolphin," Michael stated, conversationally. Still a little frightened of this stranger, his natural inquisitiveness got the best of him. Pop Pop and Nana had told him many stories of his father and now he was finally sitting in front of him and he was allowed to have a sundae which Nana would have frowned about.
Surprised, Lucas exclaimed, "You know about Darwin?"
"Yes. Pop Pop always tells me stories about the seaQuest for my bedtime stories. I told him he should write a book. Are you going to take me to see the boat?"
"I thought we'd get a hotel room for awhile and take time to get to know each other first. How does that sound to you?" Lucas hoped that the boy would agree to at least give it a try. It would make things easier.
"Kind of like a vacation, Lucas?" The boy was digging into his ice cream, with chocolate dripping down his face.
Lucas reached over to wipe a spot of whipped cream off his nose. "Yeah, like a vacation, kiddo."
"Can Nana and Pop Pop come with us? We went on vacation together and stayed in a hotel." A confused look crossed the young face. "I have to get home, soon, Lucas, so I can finish planting the garden. And Nana needs me to help her in the kitchen. They seemed awful upset when we were leaving."
"It'll be all right, Michael. How about we go find a hotel and then you can call them?" He owed them that much, at least. Let them know that the kid was ok. "After all, I am your ...father." The last word still felt strange rolling off his tongue. At some point, he was going to have to get an explanation for that.
"Tommy has a father. And Rachel and Christopher. They always ask me where my father is." The boy had a far away look, thinking about his friends. "They're coming to my house on Friday, and maybe you can meet them. That'll stop Tommy from calling me a liar."
"C'mon. Let's go find a place to stay. And I guess we'll have to stop and get you some new clothes, too." Throwing some bills on the table, Lucas got up and extended a hand to Michael, who scrambled out of the booth to join him.
"Can I get a truck shirt? I had a truck shirt but Pop Pop washed it with a red shirt and it turned pink so Nana had to throw it out. We really should go back to my house and get my suitcase, 'cause whenever we go on vacation...."
*******
With Michael snoring softly in one of the double beds, Lucas sat at the table, peering at his laptop screen. The tv, with the sound down, and the light from the computer were the only light in the dark room. Lucas had found a hotel with suites - a fancy name for a room with a small refrigerator, sink and microwave. He wasn't sure how long they would be here and he thought it would be easier and cheaper to eat some meals in their room. While he had plenty of money stashed away in various accounts, it would take time to access most of it and cash on hand was meager. The boy would need some clothes and toys. And he still had to decide what to do about seaQuest. He could see it now. "Hi, Captain Hudson. This is my son and he'll be living on the boat with us." A small snort of amusement escaped. Hudson hated civilians on the boat. How many shades of red would he turn over a small boy?
A small rap on the door startled him. Quickly he glanced over to see that Michael was still asleep on the bed. Thinking it was the manager, he opened the door and was surprised to see Kristin standing on the other side, holding a bag and a small suitcase. A mask of cold disdain slipped over his face. "How did you find me?"
Choking back a laugh because she knew that it would not be appreciated, Kristin reminded him, "You still have a PAL with you. We asked Tim to trace it for us." She held up a hand to stop his protest. "No, we didn't tell him anything and you know Tim will keep our call quiet. Surely, you didn't think we'd just let you walk off with him?"
Having the grace to blush slightly, Lucas opened the door wider. "Come in."
Walking in, Kristin's eyes swept over the room, taking in the few toys that were scattered on the floor, clothes thrown across various pieces of furniture finally coming to rest on the small boy sleeping in Lucas' oversize T-shirt. " We thought it would be better if I came when he was sleeping. Here are some of his clothes and a few of his favorite books and toys." Pulling out a scruffy looking stuffed dog, she laid it on the bed next to Michael, taking a minute to place a hand on the boy's cheek. Her eyes were wet as she looked up at Lucas. "How did you find out?"
Lucas took the bags from her. "Thanks for bringing these things," he said grudgingly. "We bought some toys and I thought we'd shop for clothes tomorrow." He cleared some things off a chair and indicated that she should sit down and he sat in a chair opposite of her. Remembering her question, he told her about the letter from Federal Social Security and his computer search.
"I'm very sorry you had to find out that way, Lucas. We wanted to tell you many times but...it's not something that you drop casually into conversation. Do you want to know how Michael was born?" At Lucas' nod, Kristin gathered Lucas' hands in her own and waited until he made eye contact and she knew he was ready to listen. "When you were three years old, you had an operation to take your appendix out. Your father was working at Boston University and some of his colleagues talked him into taking some of your genetic material. They wanted to do a study on higher intelligence by breaking down the cells and examining your DNA but the research never developed and your cells were frozen and stored in the university freezer. Five years after seaQuest disappeared, your father went to the university to reclaim the genetic material. Call it regret for what he missed out on, an emotional reaction to losing his only child, but your father let his colleagues talk him into another research project. But in this study, they wanted to use your cells to see if they could 'clone' your high IQ."
Springing out of his chair, Lucas started pacing, trying to digest everything he was hearing. He wanted to yell at Kristin to leave, to hide his head under a pillow so he wouldn't have to listen. One glance at Michael sleeping on the bed made him determined to see it through.
Kristin continued, "They inserted your DNA into an egg , implanted it in a volunteer, who had a normal pregnancy and Michael is the result." She watched the young man, ready for anything, from an explosive outburst of anger to a tearful breakdown.
To her surprise, Lucas did not react, keeping a tight control on his emotions. He walked over to the window and looked out into the darkness. Kristin wanted to go to him, wrap her arms around him to comfort him but she knew Lucas well enough to know his 'leave me alone' scowl. She could only imagine what he was feeling towards his father. Her own anger was still close to the surface when she thought of the immoral behavior of the scientists involved. And to think Lucas' own father had agreed to it. As a scientist and as a woman, it disgusted her.
After what seemed liked hours, but in reality was only a few minutes, a subdued Lucas came back to his seat. "How do you know all this?" His voice was quiet, depressed but accepting. He had never, in all the years he had known them, heard a lie out of Nathan and Kristin. If they said it was true, then it must be.
Kristin was silent for a long time and Lucas was afraid she would not answer. Finally, she continued her story. "Your father called me." She smiled a bit when Lucas reacted in surprise. "I know. I was startled myself. As you know, he was not on the top of my people I want to see again list, after the little 'conversation' we had after the whole World Power fiasco." She would always remember the look on Dr. W's face when she told him exactly what she thought of his parenting skills. "He was having regrets over what he had done and told me all the details. I guess he thought I'd understand, or be sympathetic because I had known you. He wanted me to take the baby, that he couldn't care for him anymore. I hung up on him. Six months later, he died in the accident and I couldn't stop wondering about the fate of that baby. I found him with living at the house with a nanny. Michael was three then, and the moment I laid eyes on him, I knew he was your son. Not by his looks, but his personality, his spirit. I became his guardian, because he had no one else."
"My mother?" Lucas wondered, dreading the answer.
"She doesn't know. Your father never told her and I kept it that way. To his credit, your father had a change of heart and after initial testing for the research project, decided to take the baby away from it." She patted Lucas' hand, her voice softening a bit. "I think, Lucas, that in his own way, your father loved his grandson. Maybe he was attempting to do things better the second time around. We had no idea what had happened to the seaQuest and had pretty much given you all up for dead." Once again, her eyes filled with tears and she noticed that Lucas' looked suspiciously bright. "Your father did his best to conceal the baby's identity and keep him away from the media. If they knew the circumstances of his birth, all hell would have broken loose." Sitting back, she sighed as if telling the story had unburdened her.
Emotionally drained, Lucas sat back in his chair. "But why did the Captain lie to me?"
Kristin stretched and got up, dropping a kiss on Lucas' head. "You'll have to take that up with him." Walking over to the bed, she gently kissed Michael, and went to the door, preparing to leave but suddenly turned around. "Lucas, this was not something we did on a whim, that he has not thought over a million times. He could be relaxing on the beach, not wiping dripping noses or giving baths or reading endless bedtimes stories. Think about that." With that she was gone.
Getting up, Lucas closed down his lap top, turned off the tv, and went through his bathroom routine. Slipping out of his blue jeans, he crawled under the covers and finally permitted himself to cry. His last thought before he fell into an uneasy sleep was 'why couldn't he love me when I was here, instead of needing a duplicate to do that?'
*****
Lucas pushed open the door with his elbow, his arms full of wet and soggy shopping bags as Michael slipped in under his arms. Struggling towards the small table, he dropped everything with a loud sigh of relief. Michael had dropped his wet coat on the floor and had gone immediately to the tv, turned it on and started jumping on the bed as if it were a trampoline. "Michael," Lucas reprimanded in a weary voice and the boy dropped to lie on the bed. He started pulling the milk, yogurt and sandwich meat out of the bags and putting them away in the refrigerator.
After putting away all the groceries, he took out the clothes he had bought for Michael. Intending to put them on top of the dresser, he started across the room, but he didn't see the toy truck on the floor, tripped over it and ended up sprawled on the carpet. "We really need to pick this place up," he groaned as he rubbed his injured elbow.
On the way to the bathroom, he grabbed dry clothes. The rain had started the morning after Kristin had stopped by and hadn't let up for two days. It was a hard, chilly rain and they had spent most of the time in the hotel room. Michael, who was used to a large house and a large backyard, was becoming increasingly restless and needed an outlet for his pent up energy. The walls were starting to close in around them and in a desperate attempt to 'have fun', they had gone out for dinner and shopping.
Shopping with a five year old was not an experience that Lucas wished to repeat anytime soon. Of course, Michael knew how he was expected to act in public, but as any young child would, he took full advantage of Lucas' lack of parental know how. In other words, there was a lot of whining accompanied by I want this! Lucas was soon resorting to bribes to make the child behave, which Michael cheerfully exploited. As a result, Lucas had a massive headache, no money left, and a sore heel from having a grocery cart rammed into it repeatedly by Michael. Plus he was soaked to the skin.
After changing in the bathroom, he left his wet clothes in the bathtub and came back into the main room, drying his hair with a towel. "Michael..." he started before he noticed the boy was no longer on the bed. Looking up, he found the boy sitting in front of his laptop, pounding on the keys. A glass of water that had been sitting there had been knocked over, drenching important research papers and dripping off the side of the table.
The stress from the last couple of days bubbled over as a horrified exclamation escaped his lips. "No!" Running over, he grabbed Michael out from the seat, swinging him up and away from the computer. "No! I told you over and over again NOT to touch my things!" Face red, he was yelling at the boy as the printer spit papers out into the air. He grabbed the computer, moving it to the other side of the table, and threw the towel over the puddle on the table. Furiously, he typed, watching as programs jumped on and off the screen. Quickly, he ran through the set up, trying to figure out if all the parameters were still set correctly.
A scowl firmly attached to his face, Michael stated, "I was working, like you do, Lucas."
Lucas whirled around, and Michael backed up slowly, his eyes wide with fright. "Don't TOUCH my things!" Lucas roared, coming closer.
Giving a small whimper, Michael ran around the bed, crouching down and hiding on the other side.
Stunned by the response, Lucas froze and took a deep breath. 'Oh, my, God, I'm acting like ... my father', he thought in a panic.He realized that Michael must think he was an ogre. Sitting on the bed, he rested his head in his hands. What the hell am I doing here? Getting his emotions under control, he called quietly, "Michael. It's ok. I'm sorry I yelled. Come here please?"
Blue eyes peeked out over the bed at him and Lucas tried to project a calm peaceful attitude. Patting the bed next to him, he repeated, "Come here. We need to talk."
Michael still stood there, watching him warily. Then an idea came to Lucas. "How about I show you how to use the laptop? Would you like that?" It occurred to him that Michael was definitely above average in the intelligence department, just as the scientists had hoped. If he taught Michael how to use the computer, then the kid wouldn't think of it as a play toy. Maybe they could run out tomorrow and pick up a few of those kiddie programs he had seen in the store.
He pulled up another chair, sat in it and gestured towards the other one. The boy was quiet as Lucas showed him some things on the computer and explained different programs and functions but soon, the five year old was smiling again. They even sent email to Nathan and Kristin.
After the computer lesson, they broke out some junk food and watched tv. The atmosphere was still tense and Michael was still cautious around him, keeping space between them. Lucas didn't push it, knowing that he had scared the kid. Hell, he had to admit he had even scared himself. It had certainly become a week of over the edge emotions. He was going to have to make some decisions about the future soon. Hiding away in this hotel room was not working for either of them.
Glancing over, he saw that Michael had fallen asleep at the end of the bed, his legs hanging off. Groaning softly as he got up, he pulled down the sheet and maneuvered the warm soft body into a comfortable sleeping position. The boy was so little, so sweet looking. He felt like a total jerk as he thought about how he had yelled earlier. Gently, he touched the boy's silky hair and marveled at the fact that this living breathing creature was his own flesh and blood. For the first time, he bent down and kissed his son on the cheek. Climbing into his own bed, he laid on his back staring at the ceiling, thinking about the future until sleep finally claimed him.
A few hours later, a strange noise woke Lucas from a deep sleep and he bolted straight up in bed. There was another noise from the bed next to him and a disgusting smell made him wrinkled his nose. Flicking on the bed light, he saw Michael sitting up, his hair and clothes covered with throw up.
"Lucas?" The boy called in a weak voice. In a flash, Lucas was at the other bed.
"Michael!" Oh, God, what do I do now? "I'll be right back," he promised as he darted into the bathroom. Wetting a face cloth with cool water, he grabbed the trash can and raced back to the bed just in time to witness the boy gagging. Unfortunately, it was too late, and Michael erupted, spraying Lucas' shirt with vomit.
"Ugh!" How could someone so little have so much in his belly, he wondered. Pulling off his dirty shirt, he stuffed in a grocery bag and threw it in the trash can. Going into the bathroom, he dampened a wash cloth and wiped Michael's hands and face with the cool cloth. Gingerly, he pulled Michael's dirty shirt up over his head, and then pulled his pants off. "I'm going to have to give you a bath." Michael was able to walk shakily into the bathroom and sat on the toilet seat while Lucas filled the tub with a couple of inches of water.
The boy didn't say a word the whole time, and slouched in the bath tub, exhausted. Awkwardly, Lucas managed to wipe him with a wash cloth, rubbed shampoo in his hair and used a cup to rinse out the soap. He bundled Michael in a large towel, and carried him back to the beds. Rubbing him dry, he found clean underwear, sweat pants and a sweat shirt and helped the boy into them. Finally, he pulled the corners of the dirty sheets up into a pile. Boy, he was going to owe the maid a big tip for this one. The whole time Michael's pale face with tired blue eyes stared at him.
Picking up the phone, Lucas called the desk and asked for some clean sheets and a blanket, hanging up without giving an explanation. Feeling rather nauseous himself, Lucas decided a quick shower wouldn't hurt. He could leave the bathroom door open if Michael needed something. Besides, it looked like he had fallen back to sleep. Maybe the whole thing was over already. Leaning forward with his forearms, his forehead resting against the wall, he let the hot water beat on his shoulders. He dried off and wrapped the towel around his waist, leaving the bathroom. Happily, Michael was still asleep. Wondering where the clean sheets were so that he could make the other bed and go back to sleep himself, Lucas cracked the room door and looked out in the hallway. The requested items were sitting there on the floor. Nobody was in the hall, so Lucas went a few steps out of the room to pick up the pile. It took him a little more effort then he realized to hold the towel in place with one hand and grab the linens with the other so he moved out a little more.
*CLICK*
The door shut behind him and in an instant, he realized his mistake. Knocking softly on the door, he called,"Michael? Michael, I need you to open the door." Then he started knocking louder. "Michael? I need your help...please?"
Shit. Good move, Wolenczak. Some genius you are. What if the kid gets sick again, and wakes up, and realizes he's alone. Gathering his courage, he wrapped the towel tightly around him, he marched to the front desk. Two female guests walking down the hallway, passed him. One whispered to the other and they both giggled. His cheeks flushed bright with embarrassment as the words "nice towel" floated back to him. The night clerk just raised an eyebrow at his attire and handed him an extra key without a word. Lucas ran back to the room, gathered the sheets and blanket while still trying to maintain a grasp on the towel, and awkwardly opened the door.
As he dropped the clean sheets on the floor and rummage through his clothes pile to find some clean clothes, he thanked his lucky stars that Michael was still asleep. Gathering up the dirty bed linens, he threw them into the bath tub and made up the bed. Sighing softly, he found a comfortable portion ready let sleep reclaim him. Unfortunately, that's as far has he got because Michael was calling for him again.
Two hours passed slowly and Michael threw up four more times and he fell in and out of a restless sleep. Lucas was soon reaching the hysterical stage. Using his laptop, he hacked into the seaQuest medical data base and he was horrified to find all sorts of illness with throwing up as a side effect. He pulled his pants on and grabbed his wallet and wrapped the blanket around Michael. Carefully, he lifted the boy up and cradled him against his chest. Kristin would know what to do.
***************
Pounding loudly on the door, Lucas shifted Michael's weight to the other arm. It was still raining and he protected the boy from the weather best he could. The outside light finally came on and the door opened to reveal Nathan and Kristin, wearing their robes and matching annoyed expressions.
The expressions turned to surprise when they saw who their visitor was. "Lucas! It's 3 am. What's wrong, where's Michael?" the Captain exclaimed, alarmed.
Pushing the blanket away from Michael's face, Lucas showed him to the others. "Michael's really sick, Kristin. I wasn't sure what to do."
Pushing her way forward past Nathan, Kristin glanced down at the boy, and waved Lucas in the house. "Come in. Put him on the couch in the living room." She led the way, with Lucas following her and Nathan bringing up the rear.
Gently, Lucas placed the boy on the couch and unwrapped the blanket. "He's been throwing up and he's really hot. Maybe we should call an ambulance? Do you think it's food poisoning? Meningitis?" He fussed over the boy, smoothing his hair down, caressing his cheek.
Kristin had to move the concerned man out of her way. "Let me take a look at him. It's probably only a stomach virus." Catching Nathan's eye, she motioned at Lucas and tipped her head towards the door.
It took a long minute for Nathan to understand her and he wrapped an arm around Lucas' shoulder. "Let's get you dried off and Kristin can do her mothering bit," he suggested, manhandling the younger man out of the room, towards the downstairs bathroom.
After changing his clothes for the third time that day, Lucas stood in the kitchen, hands wrapped around a cup of tea. All thoughts of sleep were gone, as he examined Michael's art work, which decorated the walls and cabinets. Nathan lounged casually in a chair at the table, watching Lucas wander. The tension between them was tight and Nathan knew Lucas was avoiding getting close to him. There was so much that they needed to discuss but Nathan didn't know where to start.
"I'm still angry at you," Lucas started abruptly, his attention focused on the backyard, his back to the Captain. "Why did you lie to me?"
"Technically, I guess you could say I didn't lie. I do think of Michael as my grandson," Nathan started lightly. "And the nanny was too sick to take care of him. That's how Kristin ended up with him."
Whirling around suddenly, Lucas dropped into a chair next to him, shooting a 'give me a break' look. "OK, let's try this. Why didn't you tell me Michael was my son?"
A solemn expression on his face, Nathan lowered his gaze and rubbed the edge of the table. "There are so many reasons, Lucas. In the beginning, it just ...happened. When you came to the island after Hyperion, you were so frightened, having come back from such a nightmare. It wasn't exactly the right time to spring something, someone, new on you. And then we had to settle the problems with Macronesia, so I told myself, wait until the time is right."
Taking a sip from his cup, he took a moment to settle his emotions. "Problem was, there was never a right moment. Then you sprang your little enlistment surprise on me, all I could think was, what if you died in combat?" Lucas moved, ready to say something, and Nathan put a hand on his arm to stop him. "No. Think about it. I lost my son in combat. What if Michael developed a relationship with you and then you were killed? He's had people in and out of his short life. I couldn't do that to him, or me. You were happy, had a new role in life to play. I wasn't sure how you would react to Michael. After all, you didn't choose to be a father. Your father made that decision for you and remember, I know about your relationship with your father. I was there when he wasn't and I know how you felt towards him."
Catching Lucas' gaze, Nathan looked deep into the blue eyes so that the younger man would know that he was speaking from his heart. "I'm sorry. Sorry if you feel I've cheated you, that I've lied to you, that I've kept your son from you. I love him...and you. I did what I thought was best for both of you, and I hope that someday, you can forgive me." His voice cracking at the last words, he got up to leave but Lucas' voice stopped him before he reached the door.
"I yelled at him. Just like my father yelled at me. And then he was sick and I felt so bad for him, and I had no idea what to do about it." His voice was full of sadness.
Nathan turned back to see Lucas' head in his hands, elbows on the table, shoulders shaking. Days of stress and lack of sleep had finally taken their toll. Going over to the younger man, he slowly massaged Lucas' back, feeling the stiff tension there. As Lucas cried, Nathan kept up a steady stream of comforting words, telling him that everything would work out. Finally, the sobs subsided, and Lucas shifted so he was leaning against the Captain, who pulled him into a bear hug.
"I'll let you in on a secret,"Nathan whispered softly into Lucas' ear. "Parents aren't perfect. You, of all people, should know that. Kids know how to push your buttons, and losing one's temper comes with the territory. It happens. You have to forgive yourself and do the best you can. Kids don't come with instruction manuals."
Kristin walked by them, but neither of the men pulled away from each other. The Doctor began digging into the back of the refrigerator. "Nathan? Have you seen...oh, here it is." She pulled out a bottle, went to the cabinet and picked out a plastic glass and then noticed two sets of eyes looking at her expectantly. "Oh, he's fine. A stomach virus; there was a bug running through the playgroup about two weeks ago. I gave him a shot to control the nausea and he's needs some fluids because of dehydration, but I think we're over the worst of it. I'm going to sleep with him." Her eyes swept over the two of them, and she tried to decide where they were in the explanations and apology department. Judging by Lucas' red eyes, followed by Nathan's repentant expression, they were near the end. "Both of you should go to sleep too. You can't make major life decisions properly when you're exhausted," she said in a no nonsense voice.
With a final pat, Nathan pulled away, but they walked arm and arm, to the second floor, where they both checked on the sleeping boy one last time. Then Nathan went into his bedroom and Lucas collapsed on the bed in the guest room and fell into oblivion.
***************
The sun was rising when Lucas tiptoed down the steps to the front door. Troubled by nightmares with his father as the main character, he hadn't gotten much sleep and decided it would be best for everyone if he left. He was half way down the porch steps when a voice from behind startled him.
"Going so soon? Stay for breakfast at least." Nathan stood in the doorway, dressed, arms folded, a stern expression on his face.
"I can't give him what he needs. I can't give him a stable life, or a big house with a backyard. I don't even know what a play group is or how to take care of him when he's sick," explained Lucas, nervously shifting his weight, arms wrapped around himself. "And I'm so furious at my father right now, I'm afraid it's going to spill over and hurt Michael." He hesitated, not willing to face the rest of it.
Bridger, sensing that there was something else, moved closer, so he was standing only inches away but not touching. "There's something else," he urged gently.
Bowing his head, Lucas ran his hand through his hair. "What if...what if I turn out like my father? What if I act the same way?" he whispered in a low voice, his worst fear finally said out loud.
"Oh, Lucas," the Captain sighed. Putting a hand on the younger man's cheek, he lifted Lucas' face up so he could look him in the face. "There's no way you could be like your father. Stay with us," he encouraged. "We can work things out."
A small spark of hope ignited within Lucas but he quickly extinguished it. No, this is what needed to be done and for once, he had to be adult enough to do the right thing. Shaking his head, he pulled away. "Hell, Captain, I don't even know how old I am anymore. I'm still rebuilding my old life and I have nothing to offer a child." The lump in his throat growing, he moved quickly to the car and started the engine. Out the window, he yelled, "Tell Michael I...."
But Captain didn't hear the end of the sentence over the motor roaring. Damn it, kid, you sweep in here and then you run out, leaving me to pick up the pieces. Disheartened, he walked to the house where Kristin was standing in the doorway and they embraced, comforting each other.
****
The bridge bustled with activity as the crew worked to prepare for their next assignment. There had been some attacks on civilian outposts in the Antarctic and seaQuest was being sent to investigate. Lucas was at his station, running computer tests.
O'Neill's comm station whistled and he informed Hudson of an incoming transmission.
Settling in his chair, Hudson ordered, "On screen, Lieutenant."
"Aye, Sir"
The face of a young boy filled the screen, effectively freezing all activity on the bridge. Recognizing the face instantly, Lucas wanted to sink into his chair and disappear.
"Hmmm, is this seaQuest?" Michael asked innocently. "I'm looking for my Daddy. Where is he?"
"Who are you, young man and why are you looking for your...daddy?" Hudson demanded in his best command tone.
"I'm Michael!" the boy said brightly. "You must be Hudson. Can you find my Daddy for me?"
Reluctantly, Lucas made his way down to stand in front of the screen. When Michael exclaimed joyfully, "Daddy!" Lucas couldn't help but smile. "Hi, Michael. Where's Pop Pop and Nana?"
There was a slight commotion behind Michael and he disappeared from the screen to be replaced by Captain Bridger. "Uh, sorry, Lucas," he apologized. "He's been asking for you and I guess he decided to take matters into his own hands."
"It's ok, Captain. I know how he is with computers," Lucas replied resignedly. The truth was out, and in a most unexpected way. He almost laughed out loud at Hudson's astonished expression.
"Ensign, I think you have some explaining to do!" barked Hudson.
"Oliver," began Nathan but Lucas interrupted him. "It's all right, Nathan."
Turning to the Hudson, his eyes swept over the bridge. Suddenly, feeling like a specimen under the microscope, he sighed. "Not here. In the ward room, please, sir," he pleaded with Hudson, hoping to avoid even a bigger scene. He knew that later he would be bombarded by questions from his friends. Tony was moving towards him, and he scrambled to escape before the other man could catch him.
"O'Neill, kindly transfer Bridger's call to the wardroom," Hudson ordered as he followed Lucas off the bridge. "Commander Ford, you may as well join us."
********
Lucas let Bridger relate most of the details, as he leaned back in his chair, eyes closed. Hudson had gotten up to start pacing when Nathan got to the part about Dr. Wolenczak and 'cloning' intelligence. Ford kept shooting looks in Lucas' direction.
"When I 'appeared' at the embassy, Kristin brought Michael to me. We were afraid for him, afraid of the media and what they would do if they found out about his...unusual conception. That's why we disappeared to the island," Bridger concluded his story.
"But how long has Lucas known about this?"
Bridger frowned at Hudson. "That's really none of your business, Oliver. I told you what you needed to know, as his commanding officer. And we're only telling you this because of Michael's untimely vid link."
Wisely, Hudson didn't push. At least now he knew what Wolenczak's leave request was about. "Ensign." He turned to address Wolenczak formally. "What are your plans now?"
Sitting straight in his chair, Lucas glanced at Bridger , then at Ford and finally focused on Hudson. "I'm not sure, sir. I haven't decided if leaving seaQuest would be a wise move at this point. Michael is happy and content where he is and I made a commitment to the Navy when I signed up, Sir. There are plenty of men who leave their children to serve their county."
"The Navy frowns upon single parents serving in a combat position, Ensign," Hudson reminded him.
"Yes, Sir," Lucas mumbled, staring at his hands.
Jonathan, who had been quiet to this point, thought it was a good time to jump in. "Lucas, can I have permission to tell the others? They were on the bridge, they know something is happening."
Nodding his consent, Lucas was relieved. He knew that if nothing was said, Tony would bother him day and night, trying to pull information out of him. Ford was one of the few people who had been friends with him from the first tour and he trusted Jon. And the others would keep the details to themselves and discourage shipboard rumors. "Tim, Tony, Dagwood, Loni and the Doctor," he specified. Turning to Bridger, he gave a forced smile, trying to reassure the Captain, who looked disturbed at this turn of events. "They were going to find out eventually. Nothing is safe on this tub."
Returning the smile, Bridger said warmly, "I know but you're still getting used to the idea. You don't need other people bugging you about it"
"It's the way it is, Captain. I'll call you later. If we're finished now, Captain Hudson?" He inquired edging slowly to the door. At Hudson's nod, Lucas fled to his cabin.
Ford and Bridger exchanged concerned looks. "Give him time, Oliver. It's been an emotional roller coaster of a week for him and he's unsure of himself, his relationship with his own father and what Michael means to him."
Now that the Ensign was gone, Hudson confronted Bridger. "You hid his son from him," he accused.
Flinching at the tone, Bridger nodded. "Yes, I did. I didn't feel that he was ready to accept what had been done. Maybe it wasn't the best way to handle it but under the same circumstances, I would do it again."
:"When were you planning to tell him?"
"At the end of the current tour. That way he was free to separate himself from seaQuest and the Navy." Deciding that he was finished with the current line of questioning, because there was only one person he had to answer to anyway, he challenged, "Are we finished now, Oliver?" Without waiting for an answer, the screen faded to black.
Jonathan got up to leave, but at the last minute, he turned back to Hudson. "Captain Bridger has always viewed Lucas as a second son."
"Yes, Commander, but the son gets to grow up and make his own decisions, not denied information because he can't handle it," Hudson disagreed and walked out past Jonathan.
*****
The group that was clustered around the table was quiet, lost in their own thoughts. Ford had just finished telling them the highlights of Lucas' new parenthood and they were working on the acceptance part of it all. It was shocking that their 'little brother' had a child but each in their own way was happy for their friend.
"Only Lucas would make having a kid a scientific event," murmured Tony. "Takes all the fun out of it."
"It wasn't Lucas, Tony," Ford reminded him. "It was his father."
Shaking his head, Tony commented, "How could his father do something like that to him?"
"I think, Tony," Loni started pensively, "that he was handed a second chance on a silver platter and took it."
"Yeah, he was such a great parent the first time around," Tim observed sarcastically.
"It's definitely classic Dr. Wolenczak, using his son for scientific experimenting,"added Jonathan.
Loni argued, "Maybe he was overcome by grief and he thought he was doing something good."
"Why couldn't he just build a memorial?" Tony challenged Loni, anger spiking his tone.
Loni shook her head, ignoring Tony. "What I don't understand is now that Lucas knows, why is he back here? If I found out I had a child, nothing could tear me away."
"It's just not that easy, Loni." The icy, hard voice from the doorway stopped all conversation in the room. Lucas stood there, nervous about how the others would react to him but anxious to still be accepted. All his life, he was different and now it was happening once again. He went on, wearily sighing, "Don't you people have anything better to do then discuss my personal life?" With anyone else, he would have been furious, but with this group of people, he accepted it. They were his family and he knew that they would help him anyway they could.
An uncomfortable silence filled the air, but Dagwood came to Lucas, his child- like smile beaming. "Congratulations, Lucas." The GELF grabbed his hand, shaking it furiously. "Being a father is a very great thing. Isn't it?"
Dagwood's exuberance broke the tension, and Lucas pulled out a chair between Tim and Jon to sit on.
Tim flashed the younger man a sympathetic smile. This kid was not destined to have a normal life, he thought to himself. Out loud, he tried to explain to Dagwood, "Being a father can be a great thing, Dag, if that's what you choose for yourself. But being a parent is a very difficult thing."
Tony butted in. "Yeah, and Luke didn't have a say in the matter. Why should he have to give up his whole life, the life he's made for himself?"
"But a son needs his father!" Loni exclaimed, a romantic at heart.
"A father he's never known? It's not like he's in an orphanage or abandoned on the street. If I had to pick people to raise my child, Kristin and Nathan certainly would be at the top of the list. The child has a good life." Jonathan threw his two cents into the conversation.
As they continued to argue, Lucas remained silent, his hands grasping the arms of the chair tightly. All the same questions went running through his mind, leaving him in a chaotic state. The dam of pent up emotions, built up over the years of neglect from his own absent parents began to break, drenching him with doubts and worries.
Tim, taking a good look at his young friend, was worried at his pale face and the white knuckles gripping the chair. "Um, guys," he interrupted softly but firmly, making everyone stop to stare at him. With a pointed look at Lucas, he motioned them all to the door . Taking the hint, they left quickly, so Tim and Lucas were alone. Gathering the younger man in a tight embrace, Lucas clung to Tim for a few minutes and then he sat back in his chair, averting his gaze while Lucas quickly wiped his eyes. "What are you going to do, Lucas?"
"I'm not sure, Tim. I'm angry at Kristin and Nathan for not telling me but I understand their reasons. I've always trusted them and I know that they love me and they love Michael. They told him stories about me so it's not like I didn't exist. I'm only nineteen, no matter what the year is. I had him for two days and almost had a nervous breakdown. Am I ready for this responsibility?"
Clasping a hand on Lucas' shoulder, Tim gently shook him. "You are one of the strongest people I know and you've done more in nineteen years than most people have done in their whole lives. You were never meant to be a soldier, Lucas, and you haven't been happy here for some time. It's time for you to move on, to be happy again." Thinking back to the happy, bright child he saw on the vid screen, he added, "Besides, I don't think that Michael's going to let you go."
Lucas' face brightened as he remember Michael sleeping in the oversize t-shirt. "Yeah, he's pretty special." Drifting for a few minutes, he made his decision, which seemed so simple now. "I have to go see Hudson," he stated as jumped up, running for the door.
"Goodbye, Lucas. I'll miss you," Tim whispered to the empty chair.
*****
The daylight was starting to fade when Nathan noticed out the window that a taxi had pulled up outside the house. Stepping out on the porch, he was surprised as Lucas climbed out of the back seat with his bags, paid the driver and strode up the walk. The young man stopped, tilting head up to look at Bridger waiting on the porch. "You gave up your life so I could keep mine." Lucas said it as if he had the final piece of the puzzle.
"Yes," stated Nathan.
Taking a few steps closer, Lucas tilted his head. "I'm going to need a new job. And a new place to live."
Nathan came down from the porch as Lucas walked to meet him at the bottom of the steps. "Are you doing this because you want to or because you feel it's your duty?"
"This is what I want," Lucas informed him sincerely. He smiled as Bridger gave him a cynical look. "Really. I remember what it felt like to have absent parents. I know he has you and Kristin but he needs a father. I can do better than my own father,"he said firmly, with conviction. "Besides, I have a feeling I'm going to have a lot of help."
Giving him a hard look for a few more seconds, Bridger spun around and hurried up the steps. Through the open screen, he called excitedly, "Michael! Your father's here!"
The boy, dressed in pajamas, ran out the door, and lunged into his father's waiting arms, giving him a hard hug. "I knew you would come back, Lucas!"
****
The lamp's light bathed the room in a soft glow, and Lucas felt relaxed and at home. Kristin and Nathan sat side by side on the couch, glasses perched on their noses as they read their books. Lucas glanced down at the warm body curled against his chest. They had been reading picture books together and Michael had fallen asleep, his beloved stuffed dog, Puppy, under his arm.
"New beginnings," he commented quietly. "It's funny." he went on, not talking to anyone in particular but knowing the others would listen, "My parents spent so much time handing me off to other people, not really caring what would happen but all the best things in my life came about because of it. Now my father has left me the best legacy of all."
Kristin gave him an affectionate smile and Bridger let his book drop to his lap, content to watch father and son. Things had worked out better than he could have ever imagined.
"I've had a lot of new beginnings," repeated Lucas, thinking of the first time he had come aboard the seaQuest, a scared 16 year old among a few hundred adults.
"People are constantly re-inventing their lives," Bridger observed. "You just seem to do it more often then most."
Absently, Lucas stroked Michael's velvety hair, breathing in his little boy smell. "Hopefully, this new beginning will never end," he murmured quietly, resting his head on the back of the chair and closing his eyes as Kristin and Nathan exchanged satisfied smiles and went back to their books.
**** THE END!!!