Hindsight

by Rickey

rickeya@jps.net

Rated: NC-17

Warning: While this is mostly and adventure/angst piece there is adult slash content in later chapters as well as violence and adult themes throughout.



HINDSIGHT
By Rickey

Chapter 1: War and Reconstruction

It is June 2037. Tim O'Neill is locking up his office at Arizona State University for summer break. He hasn't yet figured out what he's going to do with his vacation, but he knows he desperately needs one.

In the summer of 2033, the conflict between the Macronesian Alliance and the UEO erupted into what later became named the World Free Trade War. Seaquest and her crew figured prominently in the offensive attack. By October 2034, a large section of the Macronesian Army led my General Thomas Gibson plotted to overthrow President Bourne. Secretly backed by the UEO, Gibson came to power and Bourne and his leaders were extradited to Geneva to face war crime charges. In Early December 2034, Seaquest escorted Bourne from Macronesia to UEO custody in Athens. All of the UEO prisoners of war were home by that Christmas.

Captain Oliver Hudson was commended for his efforts, but due to his attitude would never be promoted through the ranks of the UEO. Just as well, he hated bureaucrats anyway. In the spring of 2035, he retired his commission, and Jonathan Ford was finally promoted to Captain of the Seaquest. It was fully accepted that Ford was being groomed to move up high in position in the UEO. During this transition, Ford's and Lt. Lonnie Henderson's romance came to an end. When her tour was up just after Ford's promotion, she left the UEO to work on a solar power station.

Lt. O'Neill remained to serve one year under Captain Ford. Then he too was ready to leave his home of so many years. His longtime friend Dagwood said it best: "Sometimes it's time to go away." Dagwood had saved his life many times over. Without his heart and shear brute strength, several more of Seaquest's crew would have been lost in the war. Lt. Commander Kimura and Warrant Officer Tony Piccolo were shot down in their subfighters and presumed dead. Several other members of various assault teams were lost as well.

In 2035, Bourne was convicted of crimes against humanity and sentenced to life in prison in a non-disclosed UEO facility. Several Seaquest crew members were present at the sentencing. Lucas Wolenczak, who also testified, was quoted by World News Net as saying, 'I'm finished with it all now.' Currently, he is a brain for hire and often consults with former Seaquest Captain Bridger at his newly formed Marine Ecology center in the Bahamas. While Lucas clearly wanted to leave military service anyway, he was found unfit for duty by a team of UEO psychologists and was honorably discharged. Wolenczak's UEO records and the details of his mental breakdown were sealed.

Gibson was elected President of New Australia and formed the Southern Hemisphere Confederation with member states of pre-2030 Macronesia. All post 2030 conquests were returned to independent rule or reabsorbed into the UEO. Seaquest aided in the return of civilians to their homes, as well as setting up borders and trade routes.

By 2036, the peacetime had been restored and Lt. O'Neill was ready to move on. The UEO offered him various translator and ambassador positions, but he turned them all down. He yearned for the simple life and took a position of Professor of Linguistics at Arizona State. Tim was teaching French to nineteen-year-olds by the fall semester of 2036. He felt this was far better than watching nineteen-year-olds die from laser fire wounds on the shores of New Australia. However, by his first summer break the ghosts of battles past were haunting him. The tests were taken, the papers graded, and now he had nothing left to do but think of the last ten years of his life aboard Seaquest.

Tim had remained a loner since his return to duty on the Seaquest in February 2035. He no longer had close friends on the crew with exception of Dagwood. O'Neill kept his vigil of solitude through his first two semesters at Arizona State. He did not socialize at all and spent the vast majority of his spare time reading the classics. In fact, he had taken up studying Old English so that he would be able to read Shakespeare in its original text. The only person that he had kept in contact with was Lucas, and that was just a few scattered emails. Usually they came when Lucas was visiting Bridger and he would give him a Darwin update.

As Tim pulled into the driveway of the two-bedroom townhouse that he'd bought last year, he noticed someone sitting in a car in front of it. It was 95 degrees, far too hot for hanging out in a car. The young man with short blond hair opened his car door when Tim had made it to his front door.

"Lucas! What are you doing here?"

"I came to see you Tim, that Okay?"

Tim was startled, but pleasantly surprised, "Of course, come in."

Lucas followed Tim into the house and dumped his backpack on the couch. His eyes studied the room that had bare walls and was filled with boxes and stacked books. There were no plants, no television, no stereo and no computer. Tim kept a small laptop in his briefcase and that was all.

In awe Lucas joked, "I love what you've done to the place."

Tim smiled and handed Lucas a tall glass of ice water. "I've turned on the AC. It should cool off quickly. You must of been dying in that car."

"Heat doesn't seem to bother me much anymore."

The two just sort of stared at each other blankly. Neither one knew what to say or where to start. Tim's mind was cluttered with images of Lucas back in Macronesia. All he could think to say was *I guess not after three months in a Macronesian prison*, but he dared not speak it. In fact, Tim had never spoken of their time in prison, despite the fact that it often filled his mind.

He had hoped that with the passage of time, his memories would distance themselves from his everyday thoughts. Tim had also hoped that the bond he felt with Lucas would also fade, but it hadn't it. Seeing Lucas standing before him, he realized that nothing had changed in the last year. The ability to sense Lucas' fears, thoughts, and feelings were just as strong as ever.

Lucas broke Tim's train of thought by motioning to the sofa for them to sit. They cleared off the books and papers that gave way to the unused furniture. Typically, Tim sat on the floor and used the sofa as he did everything else in the house, as a storage facility. The thought that he too was in storage made him laugh as they sat down.

"I'm worried about you." Lucas began, "You seem to have withdrawn from the world."

"I'm O.K., really. After everything that's happened in the last twenty years, I just want a quiet life."

"Quiet is nice... but cut off from the world is another thing."

"And what world is that?" Tim grew stern, "A world of violence? A world where we see our friends tortured? Or killed?"

"Tim, it's taken me over two years of therapy, but I've come to terms with what happened to us. It's time you did too. Your life is worth living."

Tim searched Lucas' eyes. He could feel what Lucas said was true. The pain seemed to be distant memories, not so close to the surface anymore.

"So," Tim smiled, "this is about getting me into therapy."

"You never talked about what happened. You never explored your psi abilities." Lucas took a deep breath. "You avoid me."

"I'm sorry about that." Tim offered softly.

"I think that I just remind you. Don't avoid it. Try to face it." Lucas stood and walked to the kitchen, trying to hide his emotions. "I gave you time. I gave you two years. I've done the therapy. I've dealt with my feelings and now... well now you owe me this."

"What?" Tim asked calmly.

"You can tell my feelings, but I have no clue about yours. You owe me the truth."



Chapter 2
Battles Lost

On August 3, 2034 the communication came. Lt. O'Neill and Ensign Wolenczak were recruited by UEO Special Operations to infiltrate the Macronesian Defense computer systems and crash them along with forwarding any intelligence to UEO command. There were rumors of possible dissension at a high level and the UEO was in desperate need of finding out where was the weak link. Tim and Lucas were to go undercover at a weapons manufacturing plant in New Zealand. They were supposed to be in and out within four days, but things didn't go according to plan.

Their third day as posing as repair technicians, Lucas was able to implant the virus that would eventually crash over a third of the Macronesian military computer system. He also managed send hundreds of classified documents out to the UEO. Their last night in New Zealand was extremely tense. Both Tim and Lucas tossed and turned all night. At 5:00 AM, they were to meet the Macronesian military contact who had information of high ranking military members who might be willing to overthrow Bourne and negotiate with the UEO. After the meeting, they were to hook up with a group of Spindrift folk that would help them to rendezvous with the Seaquest.

As Lucas and Tim headed out at 4:30, Tim patted Lucas on the back and tried to reassure him, "Don't worry. We'll be back on Seaquest by dinner time."

Only overnight, their work at the weapons plant had been discovered and they would never meet their contact. Within a minute of leaving the barracks front door, they were arrested by a half dozen soldiers. The poor guys never even got a chance to draw their weapons.

Once the Macronesians figured out just who they had in custody, Tim and Lucas were quickly transferred to Bourne's main facility in New Australia. On the fourth day of their capture, the interrogation began.

General Armand Stassi was Bourne's right hand man and would stop short of nothing to please the President. Even within the Macronesian Alliance, he had a reputation of being a fairly sick and twisted individual. Bourne and Stassi were informed of Lucas' implanting a virus into the main military system. They wanted it out before it spread and shut them down at such a crucial time in the war. Bourne instructed to get the information out of "Hudson's little pet." by any means necessary.

The cell was dark and damp. Four gray cement wall with no outside light surrounded them. There was a steel door with a small pass window on one wall, a toilet and sink on another, and bunk beds with a blanket each on a third. Tim and Lucas had the 8 by 10 foot cell to themselves. Upon their capture, they were roughed up slightly, but they were feeling fairly well considering the situation. During their transport, they figured they were being taken to a POW camp. Tim was surprised when he realized that they had been taken to the same facility that he had rescued Lonnie from less than two years earlier.

They were sleeping when the door to the cell flung violently open and two armed guards barged in. They seized Lucas from the bottom bunk and dragged him from the cell. Tim woke up in time to see Lucas' frightened expression as he was pulled out the cell door. Fear for his friend instantly consumed his mind. This was the beginning of an unbelievable turn of events that Tim would spend the next few years trying to forget.

Lucas was taken down the hall to a small interrogation room. It was empty except for two chairs, a table and a mirrored wall. The interrogation could be viewed from an adjacent room. The guards handcuffed Lucas to one of the chairs and left the room. President Bourne entered a few minutes later.

"Well, well, Ensign Wolenczak..." Bourne said with casual flair, "Just how you managed to get into my New Zealand plant is beyond me. Bravo. I was wondering just when I might see some familiar Seaquest faces."

Lucas stared at Bourne without any emotion or expression.

"Not much for small talk? Yes, I'll come right to the point then. I want you to call off that virus of yours and I also want to know everything you found out while here in Macronesia."

The answer was dry and very clear, "Wolenczak, Lucas. Ensign. Serial number zero, seven, two thousand..."

Bourne rolled his eyes, "Yes, yes, I know the diatribe. Please spare me."

"That's all you're going to get from me."

Bourne flashed a cold stare, "Oh, I beg to differ."

Lucas' skin crawled as Bourne opened the door and let General Stassi inside.

"Not talking?" Stassi asked Bourne of Lucas.

"No," Bourne answered sarcastically, "I was hoping you could help him find his voice."

"I think I can manage that." Stassi smiled and approached Lucas. Pulling out an electric stun gun from his coat pocket, he casually raised it against the back of Lucas' neck. Without apprehension, he winked at Bourne as he pressed the button.

Lucas howled in anguish and horror. Unavailing his wrists fought against the handcuffs that restrained him. Bourne grinned at the struggle. He softly caressed Lucas' cheek with his index finger, then with a sweet lilt in his voice asked, "Tell me how to abort that virus."

"Go to hell!"

Bourne backhanded Lucas hard across the face. A small bead of blood clung to the corner of his mouth. In an act of resistance, Lucas spat blood on the shoes of the president. "That virus will be so wide spread in forty-eight hours, it will shut you down."

Bourne leaned in to Lucas' ear, "Then you'll be dead in forty-eight hours."

Stassi gave a quick glance to Bourne, before shocking Lucas again.

* * * * *

Tim dozed off from shear exhaustion after Lucas had been taken from the cell. A sharp jolt down his spine woke him up abruptly. "Mariah!", were the first words he spoke as his eyes darted around the cell trying to orient himself.

The spasm had brought his mind back to his capture by the rebel dagger, but he was here in Macronesia. Tim closed his eyes and attempted to take a deep breath. He could sense something was not right, but what?

His body tensed as he felt another rush of electricity down his neck and back. Immediately he cognizant of a wave of fear and anxiety that was strangely not his own. "Lucas." he whispered.

How he knew, he had no idea, but he was certain they were torturing Lucas. Flashing back to his own torture at the hands of Mariah, he remembered how he so easily gave her the codes. Unfathomable to him that his body had betrayed him so hastily. Unconscious or not, Tim believed that it was his own personal weakness that allowed Mariah to get as far as she did. Tim wondered how Lucas would hold up. Much of the Lucas' tough exterior masked an inner fragility. He had experienced so much for his age, yet was still young and extremely impressionable. It was vital that he not cave, so that their mission succeed despite their capture. Yet how could he possibly expect or even ask Lucas to endure such torment, when he himself had not been up to the task. Tim's mind began to wander on to the subject of just how he was sensing Lucas' emotions. He could feel the fright and reaction to severe pain swelling inside him. Again memories surfaced. Tim remembered once feeling Darwin's emotions. He always assumed it was because Darwin was ill and calling out to him or anyone. Somehow he was a receiver for anyone sending out signals. *Maybe,* Tim thought, *Lucas has some sort of psi ability?*

The pains intensified every minute. Ultimately, when Tim heard screaming in his head, he laid down and shut his eyes tight. He could hear Lucas crying and without realizing it, Tim began to cry too. After an hour, the throbbing in his head subsided. It was not long when the cell door opened and a guard threw Lucas inside.

Rushing to him, Tim helped Lucas off the floor and over to the bed. He was bruised on his arms and the side of his face. There was also a gash over his right eyes. A small trail of blood trickled from it.

Tim wet a towel at the sink and lightly washed the cut. "You always wanted a scar."

Lucas smiled for a second then took a long labored breath in an attempt to keep from crying.

"You're gonna be fine." Tim tried to console his young friend.

"I don't think so, Tim. I don't think they're going to stop until I tell them what they want. Bourne has it in for me. He has a giant bug up his ass about Seaquest."

At that thought, Lucas' eyes studied Tim's face, "They didn't hurt you? Did they?"

"No, Let me worry about you. You're going to take the brunt of this, I think. I have a feeling they know of all the communications I was making. It's my fault we got caught." Tim became worked up, "It's my fault they've done this to you. I'm so sorry Lucas."

"Tim, you're being ridiculous. We got caught because they found my virus. And now they want me to tell them how to stop it. But I won't, trust me, I won't."

Lucas fell asleep or perhaps passed out. Tim wasn't sure. However, he was sure that he shouldn't tell Lucas about what he had experienced. The boy had enough to deal with; he didn't need to be responsible for how Tim was feeling as well.



Chapter 3
In search of ...

The truth is not always absolute. Sometimes it has multiple levels. Each seemingly more complex. Tim didn't know if he could verbalize to Lucas what the truth was or if he even knew it himself. But if there was anyone he could trust, it was Lucas.

"Tim, I need to know how you feel about me?" Lucas asked trying to keep a poker face.

"If I knew, I would tell you."

"That's not an answer."

"It's just not the one you want to hear."

Tim motioned for Lucas to set beside him on the sofa. Reaching out, Tim gave his friend a long hug. They simply held each other close, surveying the warmth and kindness. Tim didn't know what else to do. It was the only form of expression he could offer.

Lucas rested his head on Tim's shoulder and shed a few reluctant tears. "You know I'm in love with you?"

Softly, Tim answered. "I've always known."

Lucas pulled back and looked to Tim's gentle brown eyes almost begging them, "For two years I've been waiting to see if I'd get over it. I hoped it was just a phase or stuck to a particular time, but it isn't. I still want to be with you. I need you to answer me."

"I'm sorry. I don't have an answer for you. I may never have one."

"I survived hell, because you were with me. You were there for me. Now where the hell are you? Stop suppressing it. Face it."

"Face it? Face it?" Tim questioned loudly. "I was there. I felt everything you felt. I faced it everyday. Your torment, your pain, it may have been the cuts and bruises on your body, but I faced that terror every damn day. Maybe worse, because I wished it were me, not you. I begged God for it to be me instead, every time Stassi beat you up. Every time he laid his hands on you, I wished I had been the one, so I could have given them what they wanted and made him stop." Tim was now in a rage screaming the words he dared never speak. "I wished it were me, because I couldn't take it being you."

Lucas was stunned. "It was never your fault what they did to me. That's what I've learned. It wasn't my fault, and it certainly wasn't your fault. Is that what this seclusion is all about? Your guilt?"

"Oh, go tell it to your shrink." Tim barked annoyed at being analyzed.

For a minute Lucas stared wide eyed, then began to laugh out loud.

Very seriously Tim yelled, "Hey, it's not funny."

"It's not," Lucas continued to laugh, "but it is. It really is. It's just an old fashioned case of guilt. Do you feel guilty about what happened between us as well?"

Tim opened his mouth as if to speak, but stopped himself to honestly consider the question. He stood and walked to the kitchen, poured himself a glass of water still pondering his words. Choosing them carefully, he began to give Lucas part of the explanation he had been waiting for. "When I first met you, long ago before the world and universe spun inside out, I thought of you as a little brother. When we came back from Hyperion, so much had changed. One day I looked at you and you were all grown up. Everything we went through those years leading into the war and our mission, were so extreme. I had lost my best friends. First Miguel, then Brody... and Tony."

Lucas's face saddened at the mention of Tony's name.

Tim paused for a moment taking a sip of water. "I know how close you were to Tony. When we were captured, I thought *this is it*. Now it's our turn. This is how we go. Both of us had been so close to demise before, several times over, but this seemed ominous. Somehow, this time we were gone too and the rest of Seaquest would go on without us. I cam to know then, I came to know one thing above all else, Lucas, is that I love you like a brother. Like my own flesh and blood."

"Brother?" asked Lucas with raised eyebrow.

"Yes, originally and the underlying feeling of it all was wanting to protect you, to guide you, save you. I presumed you never chose to serve in the military, that by some means you were tricked into it."

Lucas stood to defend himself. "Hey, I knew what I was getting myself into."

"Did you?" Tim asked candid and unassuming. "You loved Seaquest and compromised because that was the only way you could stay."

"And you didn't?"

"Sure I did. Seaquest was my home. The only family I ever really belonged to."

"For me too, Tim. For me too."



Chapter 4
Pit of Darkness

The fifth day of their capture began at the crack of dawn; not that Lucas or Tim could see the dawn from their dark enclosed cell. Several guards shook them awake and dragged them from the cell to the two adjacent interrogation rooms. The captured Seaquest men were in a panic over what would happen to them.

Bourne entered Tim's room with a muscle clad junior officer at his side. "Lt. O'Neill, we meet again. Sorry, it's not under better circumstances."

Tim stared blankly at the President, thinking the audacity of this megalomaniac knew no bounds.

"So tell me, where is my friend Captain Hudson and the Seaquest right now?"

No reply.

Bourne smirked, "O.K. Let's say you don't know that one. How about who were your contacts in New Zealand?"

When Tim did not reply, Bourne waved his hand at the junior officer. The guy stood about 6'2" and easily weighed 220 pounds. The brute picked Tim up out of his chair and punched him in the stomach. Tim doubled over in pain. At the same time, he could also feel Lucas being smacked around by Stassi. Bourne's thug punched him square in the jaw and sent him to the floor just as he felt the crack of a whip against his back. Stassi was working over Lucas in the room next door.

It was close to unbearable, feeling both sets of torture in tandem. Tim struggled to keep his wits about him.

Bourne signaled the muscle man to return Tim to the chair. The President leaned into his ear and repeated the question.

Tim's reply came through gritted teeth, "O'Neill, Timothy, Lieutenant UEO Navy, serial number L-B-6-6..."

Irked, Bourne cut him off, "Oh, don't you folks know how to say anything else?"

"...8-7-7-4-9-A-P-5."

"Enough games. I need to know about your contacts." Bourne pulled a hand gun from underneath his suit coat and placed it to O'Neill's head. "Shall we proceed?"

Petrified, Tim began sweat heavily. Bourne pushed the gun firm against his wet temple. "I'm going to count to three at which time, I'll pull the trigger."

Tim's eyes darted from the junior officer and then to Bourne's eyes. They were icy cold. "Who was your contact?"

Tim closed his eyes and bit his tongue.

"One."

Tim's heart rate became dangerously tachacardic. Then Tim heard something. It was Bourne's voice in his head. He could hear his thoughts. It was a bluff. He wasn't going to pull the trigger.

"Answer me Mr. O'Neill...Two."

Bourne wanted to hang on to Tim and Lucas to see if eventually they would give up some useful information, but more importantly Bourne was going to let it slip where he had them in custody. He wanted to use them as bait in hopes Seaquest might be foolish enough to attempt a rescue.

"Three."

Tim took a deep breath during a pause that seemed to last forever. Bourne never intended to shoot. *I do have psi ability* Tim thought to himself just as Bourne pistol whipped him across the side of his head, knocking him over in his chair and onto the floor.

When Tim regained consciousness a few minutes later, Bourne and the young officer were gone. He had been left handcuffed on the floor. As he tried to sit up, he felt Lucas' anguish in the next room. Tim concentrated on Lucas and to his surprise was able to visualize the scene. Instantly, he wished he hadn't. It was too painful, but like a train wreck he had to watch.

Lucas' shirt lie on the floor. Stassi and a guard had removed it to whip him several times with a belt. They continued to question him about the virus and New Zealand contacts. The guard took the long leather belt and tightly strapped it around Lucas' chest and upper arms, fixing him to the chair. Next, Stassi took a wooden block and placed Lucas right palm face down on it. He tied his hand tight at the wrist and around his fingers over the block. Stassi left the room for a minute, returning with a hammer.

Lucas stared at the hammer wide eyed and frightened. Tim sat in the corner of his interrogation room hopelessly watching the torture through Lucas' eyes.

Stassi displayed the hammer proudly to Lucas, "Do you know what the punishment for hacking is in Macronesia?"

Sweat dripping down his face and back, Lucas tried to remain calm. The cold steel brushed against his skin, as Stassi sauntered behind him. "I'm going to break your fingers one by one unless you tell me what I want." Stassi walked around to face Lucas. He traced his fingers of the young man's face filled with cuts and bruises, "It's Such a shame to mar such a pretty face."

A wave of nausea rose over Lucas' stomach. He pressed his lips tight together and clenched his teeth.

Stassi stared him down, "How do we stop the virus?" He waited a few seconds and when Lucas did not respond, he crashed the hammer into the pinky finger.

A wild agonizing scream filled the room. Stassi smirked back at his victim, "You can end this Wolenczak. It's up to you."

Lucas stifled his cry and braced himself for more. Stassi lifted Lucas' face gently by the chin. "There are far more pleasant things in life. Now... tell me about the virus."

Again Lucas refused to answer. Stassi lifted the hammer and drove it into the ring finger. In the instant before contact Lucas screamed, "Noooooooooooo!" Tears ran down his cheeks. His hand and fingers throbbed and the pain traveled up his arm. There was a tightness in his chest that was nearly intolerable.

Tim curled up into fetal position wishing for it to end.

Stassi's voice was loud and stern, "Tell me how to stop the virus. Answer me you dumb fuck!" Angrily he pulled the hammer back and slammed the middle finger. Mercifully, Lucas passed out from the pain.

* * * * * * * * * *

One of the gentler guards escorted Tim back to his cell. His name was Jack. For the first time, Tim attempted to intentionally probe another's mind. Jack was more sympathetic than the others. He had a wife and two small children. While an extremely loyal Macronesian, he didn't approve of the methods of torture being exacted on the Seaquest prisoners.

As they neared the cell, Tim asked the guard, "Did you know they broke my friend's fingers with a hammer?"

"I heard." Jack answered without emotion.

"You wouldn't' be able to get a doctor to look at his hand, would you?"

"Strict orders for you two. No contact with anyone except your assigned guards, General Stassi, or President Bourne himself." The answer was firm, but Tim could detect compassion. "How about a first aid kit? You must have one lying around somewhere. There could be some bandages, or something I could set his fingers with?" Tim asked as kindly as he could through his nagging pains.

As the guard locked him inside the cell, he quietly offered, "I'll see what I can do."

A few minutes later, the muscle bound officer that had abused Tim, carried Lucas into the cell. He deposited him on the floor with a satisfied look. Tim was sad to learn that this guy enjoyed his work. As soon as the cell door shut, Tim wet a cold towel and sponged Lucas' face and hands. His back had three large red welts and his jaw was bruised as well. Lucas mumbled incoherent groans of pain and confusion while Tim tried to tend to his wounds.

Unexpectedly, Jack the guard entered the cell with a first aid kit. "You can keep this until my shift is over in two hours."

"Thanks, It'll help a lot."

Jack also dropped off a new prison shirt for Lucas and extra blanket and towels. Tim felt reassured that hope was not lost in the world.

Tim rummaged through first aid kit. The only drugs were six individual packages of Ibuprofin. He got Lucas to swallow one then shoved the rest under the mattress for later. "I'm sorry it's not stronger buddy." Tim whispered into Lucas' ear, "Hang on, just hang on."

Attempting to set the broken fingers, Tim straightened them against tongue depressors broken down to size and taped the three outer fingers all together. Lucas winced as Tim manipulated his mutilated hand. Luckily, Lucas remained unconscious for the next six hours. He woke in incredible pain. Lucas squinted his eyes and took deep breaths.

Taking out another pill and a grabbing glass of water, Tim sat next to Lucas on the bottom bunk. "Here, it's not much, but maybe it'll take the edge off."

"Thanks." Lucas swallowed the pill then closely examined his bandaged hand.

"Sorry, I'm not much of a medic."

"No, It's great. How did you get the splint?"

"Let's just say there's at least one guard who isn't a sadist."

Lucas observed Tim's bruised and swollen face. "They worked you over too."

"I think you got the worst of it. A few punches doesn't compare to a hammer."

Lucas was surprised, "How'd you know that?"

Tim thought quickly. He didn't want to burden Lucas anymore than he was. "I was in the room next door."

"Oh." Lucas accepted the answer before closing his eyes and falling back to sleep.

The next day, Tim washed Lucas' cuts and welts and tried to keep him comfortable. The poor kid's body was in bad shape and his spirits weren't much better.

Lucas was relaxing quietly, leaning his head on Tim's lap. Kind and nurturing, Tim was softly wiping his forehead with a cold cloth. Matter of factly Lucas stated, "They're going to kill us, aren't they."

"No way, we're worth too much as bait or bargaining chips."

"You think? I don't know if I can take much more of this." Lucas grimaced, his hand throbbing.

Tim wanted to reassure him, "You won't have to. Stassi and Bourne left the compound for at least a week."

"How do you know that?"

Tim realized he had said to much. He stuttered trying to spit out some words to cover up, but it was no use.

"Tim, what the hell is going on?" Lucas asked sitting up on the bed.

Tim could feel the worry and anxiety swelling. He would have to tell him. Dropping his voice to a whisper, Tim explained slowly. "I don't want the guard to over hear. Something has happened since we were captured."

"What?" Lucas asked distressed keeping his voice down.

"I've been able to somehow read people's thoughts. I never it realized until now, but I think I'm an empath."

Lucas was stunned, "Like Wendy?"

"Yea, only I don't know what the hell I'm doing. At first I had no control; it would just happen. Now I'm probing around the guard's heads. It's kind of like trying to play hockey when you don't know how to skate."

"When did it start."

Tim was solemn, "When Bourne and Stassi, first beat you up."

Lucas had a revelation, "You were there? You felt everything? Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because, I didn't want you to have to worry about me. You've got enough on your plate."

Lucas looked into Tim's eyes. They showed care and concern. The man had nursed him and tended his cuts and bruises. There was no way to be mad at him. "No more secrets Tim, okay?"

"O.K."

"Promise me."

"I promise."

"If we're going to make it through this, we're going to have to do it together."

To Tim, Lucas' words rang true. His younger friend was wise beyond his years.

* * * * * * * * * * *

A few quiet weeks passed. Lucas and Tim remained in the cell and had little contact with anyone except for the three or four regular guards. Jack was still one of them and managed to sneak medical supplies or decent food into them once in a while. Tim could tell that, although he wouldn't help them escape, he didn't want them to suffer. Tim and Lucas passed the time talking about science fiction novels they had each read and exercising as much as they could. They were trying to keep up their strength and spirits.

Occasionally they would talk about some of the fun times on Seaquest. They wondered where their crew mates were and how the war was going. They had very little information except for stories of minor skirmished that Tim managed to glean from the guards. Around the first of September, Tim found out that Stassi had returned to the base. The General hadn't been back twelve hours before wanting to torment his favorite prisoner.

Two guards entered the cell and took Lucas away. Tim fretted over what might be happening. Closing his eyes, he concentrated on Lucas. To his own amazement, mastering his abilities was becoming easier. He could see a hallway different than the one leading to the interrogation rooms.

A guard handcuffed Lucas's hands in front and shoved him into Stassi's personal quarters at the complex. Set up like a small studio, it was furnished with a small table and two chairs, a bed, night table and a wet bar.

"Good, good." The General remarked as the guards left Lucas in the middle of the room and exited. "It's been a few weeks since our last chat," Stassi remarked casually. "Please sit down."

Lucas sat in one of the chairs without saying a word. He was visibly confused.

"Well Ensign Wolenczak, your little virus caused us quite some trouble. You managed to set us back; however, we've been able to set up new systems and work around the mess you made. We too have computer experts."

Stassi waited to see if Lucas would reply, but the prisoner remained silent.

"So you must be wondering why you are here." Still no reply. "Well, I'll tell you. We want you to join us. We could use your talents and I'm sure you'd be infinitely more comfortable here than in a cold cell." Stassi stepped behind Lucas and gently rubbed his shoulders. Lucas was sickened by the touch. "I will allow you to use my quarters in exchange for certain services." Stassi leaned over and kissed Lucas' exposed neck."

"And if I refuse?" Lucas finally asked.

Stassi whispered into Lucas' ear. His lips brushing against the soft white skin, "You're mine to do as I wish anyway. You might as well make it an amicable arrangement and take advantage of the privileges I'm offering you."

Provoked by Stassi's touch, Lucas retorted, "Go to hell!" , stood up and took a few steps away.

"Come now. Don't be that way. There are all sorts of benefits for you in this; fine food, wine, freedom to move around." Stassi approached Lucas and pushed him backwards on to the bed. As Lucas tried to sit up, Stassi straddled him, grabbed the handcuffs and forced them back and over Lucas' head.

Scared and angry Lucas screamed, "Get the fuck off of me!"

Lucas struggled to pull free under the General's weight. Stassi enjoyed the fight with a smug grin before finally releasing Lucas. "You see only harm can come if you resist."

Sitting up, Lucas said nothing. He had no idea how he could get himself out of this situation, so he decided to keep his mouth shut.

"O.K. Wolenczak," Stassi spoke calmly, "I'll ask you one more time nicely. I can be nice you know. Are you going to cooperate?"

The answer, although low, resounded certain, "No."

In the instant the syllable was uttered, Stassi erupted in rage and slapped Lucas across the face. Stassi then picked the smaller man up and flung him across the room into the wall. Lucas hit hard and fell to the floor.

"Stupid fool!" Stassi growled then man handled Lucas again slamming him into the table and chairs.

The General opened the door and instructed the guards, "Get him out of here."

Tim shuddered at the events taking place. He had hoped that Lucas' torment was over. He was sadly mistaken. It was frustrating beyond anything he had ever felt not to be able to help Lucas. But Tim was also astonished by the strength and courage Lucas had been able to muster. He really wasn't the young boy, who first came aboard Seaquest, anymore.

When Lucas was tossed back into the cell, Tim quickly rushed to his aid. "Where does it hurt?"

"Oh... everywhere."

Lucas' strains and bruises, especially his broken fingers, had barely been able to heal and were now excruciatingly aching again.



Chapter 5
Psi factor

Tim and Lucas were sitting at the kitchen table sharing a spinach pizza. An empty bottle of merlot sat on the floor, as Tim uncorked another.

"Tim, I have to ask this..." Lucas tried to gingerly change the subject of : Which was better thin or pan crust.

"You're all questions today aren't you." Tim remarked in a desperate attempt to keep the conversation from getting too heavy again.

"Why did you go back to Seaquest? Return to active duty?"

"Because I wanted to fix the world."

"Oh is that all?"

"Seriously, I had very simple motives. Seaquest was going to be instrumental in reestablishing peace and returning people to their homes. After being involved in so much carnage, I wanted to participate in the healing. Besides, Seaquest was my home, I had no where else to go." Tim fell silent staring at Lucas' right hand holding a piece of pizza.

Lucas caught the gaze and offered, "I had the three joints replaced over a year and a half ago."

"They look good. Why didn't you tell me?" Tim quickly withdrew the question, "Never mind, I have no right to ask that."

Lucas answered anyway, "I didn't think you wanted to hear about it. You avoided any talk of what happened. You didn't even go to the hearings." He questioned Tim poignantly, "Why didn't you go to the hearings?"

"I wanted to. I just couldn't"

"I wish you had been there."

"I'm sure it was difficult. I guess I wasn't ready." Tim voiced in disgrace.

Lucas smiled, "You're still not ready."

"True, but I'm getting there."

Lucas stared down into his glass of wine, "Would you have gone back to Seaquest, if I had?"

"Kind of a mute point isn't it?"

"Yes... but would you have?"

"I think so. It would have been very different."

"What did you do there, I mean other than your duties?"

"I read, hung out with Dagwood and occasionally emailed you."

Lucas laughed, "The most dry and boring emails in the history of Internex communication."

The two men smiled at each other with their red stained lips. For a few minutes they said nothing and continued on the happy road to intoxication. Eventually, something occurred to Lucas, "You're reading my mind right now, aren't you?"

Tim blushed. He was caught red handed or rather red faced "Sorry. I spent most of the last two years trying not to read minds. With you, I can't help it."

"That must be amazing."

Frowning, Tim remarked, "Cursed is more like it. I wish I never had discovered the ability. It's brought me nothing but pain and misery."

Lucas quickly cut him off, "That's not true. You helped bring down Bourne."

"Gibson would have overthrown Bourne even without my help."

"You don't give yourself enough credit. Not to mention, I think it saved my life knowing someone understood what I was going through without having to talk about it. I didn't have to rehash it again and again, well at least not until the war was over."

Tim was solemn, "I never thought of it that way."

"I did."

Tim stared into his half glass of merlot before emptying it once again. Lucas followed suit.



Chapter 6
The Coup

Through determination and support, Tim and Lucas led their solitary existence confined to the small cell. At times, the heat and stale air were stifling, and the occasional roughing up by the guards was a strain on their weakened and battered bodies.

Once a week they were allowed to shower and given a change in prison uniform. With the exception of Jack, the guards made certain it was a humiliating experience. But nothing would compare with Stassi's final assault on Lucas.

It was October fifth when Stassi and Bourne returned to the compound from a two week survey of their territory. The UEO was gaining ground, as Bourne felt his control over the various political factions within Macronesia slipping. Meanwhile, Stassi knew that if Bourne were to be ousted, he would have no place in the new political structure. It was now or never. They needed to step up their efforts and force the UEO into recognizing the new Macronesian borders. It was the only way to ensure their political future. The war was coming to an end one way or another.

It was coincidence that Stassi was passing through the cell block when Lucas was taking his shower. The General was not one to miss an opportunity. Out of the corner of his eye, Lucas caught Stassi entering the shower area. He quickly tried to rinse the shampoo out of his hair and get the hell out of there. Lucas turned off the water and reached for his towel. Unfortunately, it was hanging from Stassi's outstretched arm. As he grabbed for it, Stassi held the other end firm taunting him. "You look beautiful when you're wet." Stassi then pulled the towel away and threw it across the room.

Lucas shifted his eyes to the floor and didn't dare move. Meticulously, Stassi circled him like prey and inspected every goose bump and hair that stood on end. "I make you nervous?"

The prisoner shivered with his hair dripping beads of water down his face and back. Stassi was excited by nude waif form and the obvious fear. Above all else, he loved to be feared. "It's not easy being a General you know; high stress, so little time for myself. It's nice to visit with my favorite inmate now and then."

Somewhere Lucas had some spite and sarcasm left in his tired body, "What's wrong with the little boys that serve you? Don't they like you either?"

"Aren't you the comedian... tell me if this is funny." Stassi backhanded Lucas across the side of the head and sent him stumbling to the tile floor.

Back in the cell, Tim felt the smack of the tile against his face. Instantly, he could envision the scene. All he could think was why hadn't he made Lucas shower first that morning. They were only taken out one at a time. He would have been there instead. Hate consumed him, hate for the war and a deep dark hatred of Armand Stassi. Consciously, Tim tried to get into Stassi's head. He wanted to know why he liked to torment Lucas. What the hell was in it for him? But the only thing Tim could detect was that Stassi only had a few days here at the compound. He was leaving and wasn't all too happy about it or with how the war was going. Tim wished he had a better command of his talent. He couldn't get the answers to the questions he wanted. The signals and images were mixed and confusing. The one thing that came to him loud and clear was Lucas' pain and suffering.

Stassi took enormous pleasure in battering Lucas naked body over and across the shower room. The first few times he fell to the floor, Lucas tried to stand back up. Eventually, he stayed down until Stassi would kick him or pull him back to his feet. Raw emotions swelled in the pit of his stomach and up to the base of his throat. He could taste the acid in his mouth as Stassi pulled him up by the neck and pushed his face against the back wall.

Panic set in, as Stassi grabbed both his wrists and pressed his body against his own. His flesh crawled. It took every last ounce of strength to keep the tears at bay. Then without warning, Stassi grabbed him by the back of the neck again and shoved harshly him into the corner and commanded Lucas to put his hands on his head. Wishing he were dead, Lucas complied.

Stassi unzipped his trousers and pulled out his erect cock. Lucas closed his eyes and rested his forehead against the cold tile. Stassi held him tight around the neck with one hand and began to jack off with the other. Lucas could hear the primal grunts and feel the tension as his neck was pinched tighter and tighter. He kept his eyes shut as Stassi furiously brought himself to satisfaction. In a few minutes, it was over as Stassi sprayed his load over the back of Lucas' thigh. After a second or two of rest, he zipped his pants and slammed Lucas' head once more against the wall, then left without a word.

Lucas turned on a shower then crumbled to the floor. Breathing heavily, he lay there stunned under the flowing hot water, until one of the guards entered and yanked him back to his feet.

The guard shoved Lucas into the cell soaking wet and wearing nothing but a small towel around his waist. With a blanket ready, Tim rushed to him and swaddled him tight. To warm him up, Tim fervently rubbed the arms and shoulders of Lucas' shivering body.

Tim lead him to the bed and continued to warm him up. Staring into Tim's eyes, Lucas locked onto the reassuring expression. It calmed his frazzled nerves.

Holding Lucas' gaze, Tim confided in him. "We're getting out of here... real soon. It's almost over."

"What do you mean?"

Tim quieted his voice down so the guards wouldn't overhear, "There's a new guard or someone out there who's walked by several times. He wants to talk to us. I can feel it." Becoming almost inaudible, Tim continued, "It's part of a plan to overthrow Bourne. It's happening soon. We'll be out of here."

"Are you sure you don't mean in body bags?"

"Don't think that way. Don't talk that way."

"You better be right," Lucas said fighting off tears, "because I can't take much more of this."

"I don't know how to convince you, but you have to believe me. This is it. This is the end of it. The end is here. It's over."

Lucas' eyes never broke from Tim's. *He seems so certain, so sure.* Lucas wondered if it could be that Tim's powers truly are progressing and he really can sense these things. Desperately, he wants to believe.

They're interrupted by the pass window sliding open and the guard pushing Lucas' clothes through. Tim retrieved the uniform and handed it to Lucas, "You better put these on. You're freezing."

As Lucas dressed, Tim couldn't help but notice the welts and bruises on his small frail body. Thin to begin with, Lucas had lost at least fifteen pounds since their capture. Tim thought to himself, that he too had dropped some weight and could stand a few good meals. Watching Lucas, Tim thought about everything the poor kid had gone through and how unfair it was.

Sitting together on the bottom bunk, Tim tried to boost his friend's spirits, "I'm serious. We're getting out of here. I don't know when, but it's gonna be soon."

Lucas answered as if praying, "I believe you, Tim. I believe you."

"You have to trust me."

"I trust you. I trust you with my life."

Tim was overpowered by the reply. "You don't have to trust me with your life. We're getting out of here." Propelled by a force he couldn't identify and a desire he couldn't quite admit or understand, Tim leaned close to Lucas' face. Soft and quiet he kissed the lips before him then quickly pulled away. Surprised by the event, they stared intently at each other.

Without further hesitation, Lucas embraced Tim. Hugging his body, he kissed him back. This time they parted their lips slightly in a long intense kiss. Their tongues explored the warm and soothing union seemingly erasing all of the hurt and humiliation, if only for a brief moment.

They were startled by a knock on the cell door. Tim quietly looked to the door, back to Lucas, then confidently declared, "That's our man."

The pass window opened and a lunch tray slid inside. As Tim grabbed the tray, the man on the other side held it firm keeping Tim at the door. The stranger spoke in a hush, "My name is Micah. I can't talk long, but I'll be back to talk to you. We were supposed to meet in New Zealand. I'm going to need your help." Without another word he released the tray and walked away before Tim could reply. The two captives exchanged hopeful smiles.

When Micah returned later that evening, he explained that he was one of many in support of General Gibson. They were plotting to destroy compound, capture Bourne and Stassi, and disrupt Bourne's supporters by cutting off any central command. The plan was to take over the building Sunday morning.

Tim abruptly cut Micah off, "That's too late!"

"Why? What have you heard?"

Without explaining about his psi abilities, Tim replied, "I overheard that they're leaving for Tokyo Saturday, the seventh. You'll never get to him there. They love him in Japan."

"Then it will have to be tomorrow night. I'll get in touch with my associates. We should be able to move it up. Actually, we'll just have to." Micah then focused on the mission at hand. "When we stage the take over I'll come down and get you. Lucas, I'll need you to go with Terry to the control room. She's our best computer analyst. You'll have to crash as much of the central military system as you can before we blow the building. We need to cut them off from each other. That network needs to be down."

Lucas nodded affirmatively.

"Tim, you'll join my group to help place the charges."

The twenty-four hours leading into the coup were excruciating for Tim and Lucas. The anxiety and anticipation kept them on edge. Shortly, before the witching hour, Tim stroked Lucas cheek with his finger and reassured him. "It's going to work. You just have to be brave a little while longer." Tim kissed Lucas again, a romantic kiss.

Right on schedule, Micah showed up at the prisoner block. Tim nudged Lucas as cell door opened, "Here we go."

Terry and Lucas headed to the main computer room while Tim followed Micah to the upstairs residences. Micah handed Tim a back pack full of charges and a semi-automatic pistol. Tim was instructed to secure the fourth floor then rendezvous on the roof.

Chaos ensued. The hallways were filled with smoke and soldiers running. Some with purpose and others in confusion. As Tim approached an open doorway, he recognized it as the quarters where Stassi had taken Lucas.

Unbelievably, Tim found Stassi packing a few papers into a briefcase. Tim pointed the gun at his former captor and ferociously commanded, "Put your hands in the air."

The General calmly turned around to face the loaded weapon. He smiled knowingly, "Congratulations. You got me. Such an ironic turn of circumstance, don't you agree?"

"Yeah, big fucking irony. Put your hands up." Tim had zero patience for this man's antics.

Stassi raised his arms and took a step towards Tim.

"Stay where you are."

"As you wish."

Tim paused. Now that he had Stassi under his gun, he had no clue what to do next. He could only think of Lucas. His mind kept replaying the events of the previous day. Tim questioned the madman, "Why did you do it?"

"I'm not sure what you mean."

"Why Lucas?"

Stassi answered smug, "Because he's such a nice piece of ass."

"Rot in hell."

In the blink of an eye, Tim squeezed the trigger. The blood splattered over his glasses. He wiped them on his shirt then gazed over the scene in disbelief. Quickly, he shook himself out of it. He didn't' have much time left to plant the charges and get up to the roof.

The Helicopter was warmed up and waiting when Tim arrived. Micah and three of his soldiers were already on the chopper with Bourne in custody. It was surreal to see President Bourne with his hands tied and mouth gagged. As Tim approached the helicopter he yelled over the roar of the engines, "Where's Lucas?"

Micah answered him back screaming, "They're leaving by the trucks on the street."

"What if they don't make it out in time?" Tim was reluctant to leave.

"They know what their doing; they'll make it. Let's go." Micah urged Tim on board.

As they took off, Micah asked Tim about the blood that covered him. For some reason, Tim lied saying that he ran into a few guards and had to shoot them.

When they were a half mile out, the compound exploded with fury. Flames rose high and smoke climbed into the sky. Closing his eyes, Tim tried to sense for Lucas. He seemed far away but definitely alive.



Chapter 7
Confession

In the two months following the coup, Tim and Lucas worked separately to help establish General Gibson's authority over Macronesia. They each opened communication channels with the UEO to aide with Gibson's take over of the military and formation of a new government. After fertile negotiations, Lieutenant O'Neill was among those who escorted Bourne to the Seaquest for extradition to Athens. Part of a UEO special operations unit, Ensign Wolenczak traveled to Indonesia, Thailand, and Turkey to set up secure networks under the New Independent States Agreement. The NISA pact was a joint effort between the UEO and the new Macronesian government under Gibson. In early December, Lucas flew to Greece to rendezvous with the Seaquest.

Tim knew that Lucas's shuttle would arrive any minute, but he stayed in his quarters to afraid to face him. Now that their ordeal was over, he had no idea what to say to the person who had become the most vital in his life. The past week aboard Seaquest had been almost dreamlike for Tim, as he walked around in a daze. Depressed and pensive, Tim kept detached from the rest of his shipmates.

Lucas arrived at the docking bay expecting Tim to be there waiting for him. He was disheartened by his friend's absence. Hanging around for a few minutes just in case Tim was simply late, Lucas was greeted by several of his crew members including Commander Ford and Captain Hudson. They tried to welcome him back, but he explained that he was only there to pick up his things. His commanding officers understood and sympathized with his situation. To Lucas' amazement, Hudson told him how proud he was of him. Lucas headed to his quarters with a sense of being lost. It didn't feel familiar or comforting to be back aboard.

Two large duffel bags sat on the bed and several boxes were strewn over the floor. Lucas meandered around his room looking over his worldly possessions and deciding what to pack first. After an hour, some progress was made. He was rummaging through a pile of discs on the floor, when he looked up and saw Tim standing in the doorway.

Lucas smiled with wide eyes, happy to see him. "Tim, I was wondering where you were." He reached out to hug him only to feel Tim's stiff and unresponsive body. Reluctantly letting go, Lucas took a step back trying to read Tim's poker face.

Tim broke the awkward silence by quietly stating, "We made it."

Lucas explained, "I feared the worst after the explosion. It wasn't until the next day that Terry told me you were with Gibson in Sydney."

"I heard you've been all over the place."

"The UEO wasted no time in putting me back to work." Lucas hesitated, "I missed you. I can't believe it's been two months."

Immediately, Tim changed the subject, "So, you're packing everything up?"

"Yeah, I'm heading state side. I have to do some debriefing first, but then I'm taking off. I've already talked to Captain Bridger and he's offered to let me stay with him."

"That'll be good for you."

"What are you gonna do?"

Tim acted surprised to hear the question. He assumed that Lucas would have heard it from someone already. "I'm going to stay here."

"Back on active duty... already." Lucas was shocked.

"I think I need to stay on Seaquest right now."

Lucas heard the answer, but couldn't quite believe it. "After everything we've been through, you want to stay on Seaquest?"

"Yeah." Tim could sense Lucas' sadness and confusion, but he felt that he needed to cut the ties. He believed it would be best to make a clean break with Lucas. They had been so close. He had shared every last thought and feeling. It scared him. The line between their psyches seemed cloudy. Tim wanted to be himself, alone again.

In vain, he tried to explain himself, "Lucas, we need some distance. We need some perspective on this."

Upset, Lucas started shoving things violently into his duffel bag. "Perspective? Fuck perspective!"

In the pit of his stomach, Tim could feel the agony and tumult swelling in his friend. He couldn't take anymore, so he turned to leave. Sincerely he stated, "I'm glad you're all right. You're going to be fine", then turned and walked off down the hall.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

With red wine still in hand, Lucas and Tim were sitting on his sofa talking about the last time they saw each other.

"I couldn't believe you just left like that." Lucas swallowed in an attempt to keep his emotions from surfacing too fast. "Not even a hug goodbye. I was so pissed at you."

"You had every right to be."

"I didn't understand it then, but you needed to regain control over your life without me getting in the way."

Tim remembered just how much he had hurt Lucas. "Don't make excuses for me. I was scared, just plain scared. I had no idea what to do. It hit me the instant the helicopter pulled away. I watched that compound fade into the distance and then explode to kingdom come. I wanted to bury what had happened in the rubble."

"The rubble..." Lucas was fixed on the image. "Did you hear? More DNA results came in last week on the unidentified bodies. Stassi's is still missing. Sometimes I think he's going to show up on my doorstep."

"Don't worry, he's dead." Tim confidently answered.

"I know the investigation concluded that he burned in the explosion, but they never found the body."

Tim felt guilty over Lucas' inability to find closure. As much as confessing had always sounded good, he could never bring himself to do it. That was until he saw the hurt and confusion in Lucas' eyes. "Lucas, I'm going to tell you something that I never told anyone."

"O.K.?"

"I killed Stassi."

"Don't joke about that. Even if you're trying to make me feel better." Lucas admonished.

"I'm serious." Tim stared into Lucas' pale blue eyes desperately trying to assure them that he was telling the truth. "Micah ordered me to take the fourth floor. I was supposed to plant charges and help search for Bourne and Stassi. He was in his quarters packing up a some papers." Looking very serious, Tim continued, "I didn't tell the UEO this, I didn't tell Micah, I never told another living soul. I'm not proud of this... I pulled a gun on Stassi. He was unarmed. He put his hands in the air. We exchanged a few words and then I blew his fucking head off."

Lucas' jaw dropped. "Why didn't you tell anyone?"

"Like I said I'm not proud of it, but if I had it to do over, I would kill that bastard every time. He killed Jim when we rescued Lonnie from that bogus death sentence. I never forgot that. He hurt you, so many times. Yes it was war. Yes he deserved it. But I killed him in cold blood. I murdered him. I shot him through the head and then I planted a charge right next to his body. Believe me, he blew to smithereens."

"I would have done the same thing."

"No, I bet you wouldn't have. I bet you would have taken him prisoner and put him on trial."

"Even so, I'm glad you killed him. Though why you've kept it a secret, makes no sense."

"Because I wanted to kill him. I enjoyed it. I enjoyed killing another man and I have no remorse about it." Tim began to sob, "No matter what the circumstances were, war or not, my actions were completely immoral. I wanted him dead. I never imagined I could feel that way about anyone or anything."

Lucas wrapped his arms around Tim's back and hugged him close. "It's over Tim. Let it go. Just let it go."

For a few minutes, Tim allowed himself to cry in Lucas' embrace. Abruptly, he pulled himself away and headed to the bathroom. He splashed cold water on his face then studied his reflection in the mirror. It had been a very long time since Tim had taken a good look at himself.



Chapter 8
The Great Healer

Tim uncorked a third bottle of Merlot before returning to the living room. It was the last from a case that he had purchased upon his resurrection from Hyperion. He had always loved J. Lohr wines, so he ordered a case of 2032 to commemorate the year of his return. Inconceivably, five years had past. All the while, the wine had matured into a superb vintage.

They were considerably tipsy and relaxed with their feet up on the coffee table. Lucas was telling all of the latest work with Darwin and a pod of dolphins that lived near Bridger's island. As he talked with great enthusiasm about his work, Tim realized that the heaviness was gone. Somehow over the last two years, Lucas had lifted his burden and was freely enjoying life again.

While still speaking, Lucas attempted to take another sip from his glass. The red wine spilt over his shirt . "Ahhh Shit." he mumbled, placed the glass down and urgently removed his shirt.

Tim was captivated by the sight of Lucas' bare chest and stomach. He studied the smooth skin and the small scars of healed wounds that seemed to mark the passage of time. Uneasy over his emotions, Tim drained the last drops from his wine glass before speaking. "Better run that under cold water." As he reached out to take the shirt from Lucas, his hand brushed against Lucas's fingers. It was a shock to his system. In an instant, only desire consumed his thoughts. Ignoring the shirt, Tim leaned forward and placed his fingertips over Lucas' bare chest. Gently, he caressed the soft tanned skin.

Lucas gasped at the contact. It had been so long since he had been touched by another person and now it was Tim. Dreamlike was the only word that came to Lucas' mind. Tim smiled as he heard Lucas' thought in his own head.

With slightly parted lips, Tim kissed and sucked over the base of Lucas' neck and up over his jaw line. Tilting his head back, Lucas luxuriated in the sensation. His mind blurred and wandered under Tim's sensuous attentions. However, he couldn't help but wonder if the three bottles of red wine were ultimately responsible. Detecting this, Tim answered him, "Yes, I'm kissing you because I'm drunk, but I wanted to kiss you desperately when I was sober."

Lucas said nothing, allowing Tim to continue bestowing his affection. He was getting used to the fact that Tim could read his mind. Sure there was some loss of privacy, but he loved the fact that he could just think something and Tim would instantly know it.

Tim made his way to Lucas' lips and the two men kissed with anticipated passion. It had been two years since their last kiss and this one didn't have any of the stress associated with the original. Red stained lips met and parted over and over again. Their tongues swirled and explored the hot wetness of each other's mouths. They were dizzy from wine and desire and continued eagerly, not wanting the feeling to leave their bodies. Lucas held Tim tight, while Tim ran his hands over his neck and through the short blonde tresses. Tim mused to himself that Lucas had never had a decent haircut as long as he had known him. Too bad Lucas couldn't hear his thoughts, he wasn't about to stop kissing to make a casual joke. Both of them were now in a frenzy wanting to consummate their reunion.

Lucas reached for the buttons on Tim's shirt, undoing them one by one. Tim took off his glasses and rested them on the coffee table. Hungrily, they kissed again. Their bodies ached for physical contact and starved for intimacy. Lying on the couch, they made out like a couple of teenagers. Swiftly, they peeled the clothes from each other's body. Their flesh pressed tight as they kissed and caressed with great infatuation. Without words, Tim rose to his feet. Taking Lucas' hand, he led him into the bedroom.

They crashed to the bed, limbs tangled. Both men had raging hard-ons governing their every move. Tim kissed Lucas' flat stomach down to the top of his pubic hair. He could sense Lucas' wishes. He was begging him to proceed. The younger man's voice whispered *Don't stop. Don't stop.* over and over in his mind. Tim took the pulsing cock in his mouth down to its base. Sucking up and down the long shaft, his efforts elicited deep sensual moans. Lucas came quickly down his throat. When Tim looked up, he saw the tears of joy and satisfaction streaking down his lover's cheek.

Grabbing his shoulders, Lucas pulled Tim back on top of him. Tim's body was on fire and his manhood throbbing. He planted his mouth on Tim's with a slow and sultry kiss. Then he whispered, "I want you to fuck me."

"Are you sure?"

"I've never wanted anything more in my life."

Tim had never been with a man before, but he knew Lucas had. Somehow through the wine and his obsession with Lucas, everything had come easy and felt natural. That was until the moment he contemplated sexual intercourse. Nervous, Tim went to the bathroom and returned with a bottle of baby oil. His hands were shaking as he unscrewed the cap and poured some oil into his palm.

Lucas lay on his back with his knees bent. Instinctively, Tim rubbed the oil into Lucas' crack and over his own erection. Slowly, Tim edged Lucas' legs back and positioned his head at the tight entrance. As he eased his dick in, Lucas groaned with delight. Inch by inch, Tim slid himself into Lucas' ass. It felt remarkable having him wrapped taut around his cock. He began to thrust. Again and again, he plunged himself in faster and harder with each stroke. His eyes locked tight with Lucas' baby blues. He couldn't have imagined that Lucas would enjoy having him inside this much. Lucas was in ecstasy as Tim reached a tumultuous orgasm. Clutching his lover's neck, Lucas pulled Tim's face to his own. Tim could feel Lucas kissing him, but he was so spent that he couldn't even kiss back. He rolled to the side breathing heavily.

Snuggling close, Lucas settled on Tim's heaving chest. Tim closed his eyes and savored the moment of peace. It was far more intense and satisfying than he ever dared dream. They crawled beneath the covers and drifted off to sleep under the intoxication of sex and alcohol.

When the dawn broke, their bodies were still entwined. Lucas stirred as Tim kissed the tip of his nose good morning. Their eyes met in the light of day and reaffirmed that the night had not been an illusion. Lucas had his Tim, and he wasn't going anywhere.

With a deep sigh, Tim looked over at Lucas' blissful face. "Do you know what I'm thinking?"

Lucas smiled up at his lover, "No, tell me."

"I'm thinking that I have the whole summer off and I'm going to spend it just like this."

Blue eyes sparkling, Lucas looked up at Tim and started to ask, "Do you know. . ."

"Yes, I know what exactly what you're thinking." Tim stated matter of fact.

Lucas rolled his eyes and thought, *So unfair.*

"Hey, I heard that."



The End

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Disclaimer: Yada Yada Yada- I know these characters are not mine, It's fanfiction- not for profit story copyright by me - İRFA Jan/Feb 2000
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