Title: I Should Have Known Better

Author: JaimeBlue

Fandom: SeaQuest

Pairing: Tim/Ben

Rating: NC-17

Archive: Yes!

Category: Romance, First-Time

Disclaimer: The characters don't belong to me, but to the guys who own seaQuest. I'm just playing in their backyard and keeping the characters alive long after the show's disappeared.

Summary: Tim and Ben get stranded during a supply run into Arctic Canada.

A/N: To Nell for inspiring this story.

Warning: This story contains gratuitous use and abuse of a song I'm surprised has never been used in a seaQuest fic. Here's a hint: it's by the Beatles.



I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER
By JaimeBlue
******

Ben Krieg huddled further into himself, arms wrapped tightly around his chest as his eyes focused on an invisible point on the wall to his left. The wall behind his back was cool, even through the layers of protective clothing he was wearing. He heard the whistling of the wind outside, a sound that was now more familiar than his own voice. Finally, he couldn't stop himself from squirming under the scrutiny of his only companion.

"Will you cut that out!" he lashed out at the man huddled against the wall opposite him. "If you're not going to talk to me, then at least stop staring like that."

There was no response and the dark brown eyes continued to glare through the slightly misty glasses. He shifted under the gaze and began to grow disheartened, wondering how long his friend could hold a grudge.

"Come on, Tim. Say something already. I said I was sorry, all right?"

The man's lips pursed slightly, but otherwise he didn't react.

"That's it. If you keep this up, I'm going to have to do something drastic -- like sing."

The glaring eyes widened slightly, then returned to their normal state.

"Okay, you asked for it." Ben took a deep breath before opening his mouth wide and blurting out something he knew would grate on the other man's nerves. "'In the town where I was born, lived a man who sailed the sea...'"

Dark eyes filled with panic as the extremely off-key voice echoed throughout the empty room.

"‘...And he told us of his life, in the land of submarines...'"

The man's fingers twitched, as did his feet. Within his eyes, a war waged to decide whether or not he would back down from his position.

"‘...So we sailed on to the sun, till we found the sea of green...'"

The man's mouth opened as if to protest, then closed itself. The fingers twitched so much Ben thought they were about to fall off and come crawling towards him.

"‘...And we lived beneath the waves, in our yellow submarine! We all li-*mmph*!'" The words died in his mouth as the man leapt across the room to smack a hand over his lips.

"If you sing one more word," the usually nasal voice growled in his ear, "I'm going to have to do something that'll keep me in confession for a month. You got that?"

Ben nodded and the hand was removed from his lips. He lifted a hand to rub his sore face as he watched his friend move to sit next to him along the wall.

"Well, at least you're talking to me again."

"Well, enjoy it because I'm going right back to not talking to you."

"Come on. How long are you gonna stay mad at me?"

"Long enough."

Ben sighed and banged his head against the wall behind him. "It wasn't completely my fault, you know."

"Oh?" Tim's voice rang with sarcasm. "And whose was it?"

"Shan was the one who told me we had a full tank of gas. He should have checked the thing before we took it up to the surface."

"You were the driver, Ben. Isn't it your job to check the tank on the snow-cat before we move onto the mainland?"

"He said it was full!"

Tim groaned and banged his head against the wall not far from where Ben's head had hit. Ben watched his friend roll his eyes, knowing the man was right but refusing to admit he was wrong. The trek hadn't been such a bad idea, at first. The seaQuest was doing some research near the Northern side of the Cumberland peninsula of Baffin Island and Ben had thought it to be the perfect opportunity to make a supply run at the nearest city to their position, which happened to be the territorial capital of Iqaluit, and as it was the middle of winter in Arctic Canada, the most reliable way of transportation was by land across the peninsula.

He'd originally intended on heading out alone, but Captain Bridger had insisted that the ship's commtech, Tim O'Neill, accompany him -- Ben knew the man's real purpose was to make certain all of Ben's dealings were legal. They'd made it to Iqaluit without a problem and as they were gathering the last of their supplies, they'd heard news of a snowstorm on its way. They'd immediately started back for seaQuest only to have their fuel run out mid-way -- just as the snow had started falling.

They'd pulled out a map of the area and found a small abandoned hunter's shack nearby. After gathering a few choice supplies to take with them, they'd made the trek to the cabin, and by the time they'd arrived, the snow had grown heavy and the wind cold. The empty cabin had been disappointing, but they'd simply been glad to have a suitable shelter in the coming storm. After checking the small battery-powered radio they'd brought with them to verify that the storm was causing too much interference to call for help, they'd settled into the cabin, resigning themselves to making it through the coming storm.

Now the two of them sat on the cold floor, listening to the howling wind outside, wondering how to make it through the snowstorm without tearing each other to pieces. Ben felt a shiver run up his spine and for the first time he realized that the temperature in the room had fallen from when they had first arrived. He mentally went over the supplies they'd managed to bring with them and remembered that the they had only been able to fit one blanket into the small bag they had with them. One blanket, two men, and a cold cabin that only looked to get colder. *Throw in Tracy Lords,* Ben thought, *and you've either got a high-quality porn flick or a low-quality horror bloodbath.*

Ben relaxed back against the wall, his body warming as a fantasy took hold of his mind. A buxom blonde like any that could be found in an x-rated movie was stuck in the cabin with him and Tim. She took it upon herself to decide that body heat was the best method of staying warm, and immediately began removing whatever little clothing she wore. She leaned toward Ben, her breasts hanging before his eyes moments before her lips lowered to capture his. After breathless moments, she pulled away and began kissing his companion, pulling him closer so that each man was settled against her sides. Suddenly she pulled back, grabbing onto each man and pulling them toward each other. Ben's lips automatically met those of his friend and the woman's presence no longer registered in his mind. He reached out, grabbing Tim's uniform to pull him closer as their kiss deepened...

Wait a minute! What happened to the woman?! And what was he doing with Tim?! Ben shook himself out of his thoughts and quickly looked to Tim, desperately hoping that no trace of his thoughts showed on his face. *Oh man, where did that come from?* He ran a shaky hand over his face. He had *never* had such thoughts about his friend, let alone another man. All right, there was that time in high school, but that was a long time ago and meant nothing.

He felt Tim shift next to him and was suddenly aware of their proximity to each other. His breathing sped up as the awareness combined with the memory of his fantasy began to consume his thoughts. He nearly jumped when a hand rested on his arm.

"Hey, Ben, you okay?"

"Um, I'm just cold. That's all." Ben felt himself shiver again, but this time it wasn't because of the cold. He mentally scolded himself for having such thoughts about his friend — this man in particular. If there were a man in the world to have sexual thoughts about, this was not that man. If Tim had even an inkling of what was going through Ben's mind, he'd run off to a corner and start praying for their souls. At the moment, Ben wasn't sure that was such a bad idea.

"Hmm, you're right. It's getting a little chilly in here. We're probably going to have to figure out what to do about keeping warm soon."

"Oh?" Ben murmured, hoping Tim couldn't tell he'd already had thoughts on that very subject. "What would you suggest?"

"Well, I think our best bet would be to lay the blanket on the ground to protect our backs, then zipping our parkas together and both of us huddle underneath, against each other to preserve body heat."

Ben held his breath, mentally kicking himself for the path the suggestion was taking in his mind. "I don't think that's a good idea," he replied shakily.

"Well, do you have a better one?"

Ben desperately searched his mind for any other alternative but couldn't fine one. He dejectedly shook his head.

"All right then," Tim said, rising up onto his feet. "Let's get moving before we're too cold to get up again."

Ben watched as Tim pulled the blanket out of the pack and spread it in the middle of the cabin floor. His eyes locked onto his friend's hands as they started undoing the snaps of his parka until the material was dangling from his fingers, his eyes resting questioningly on Ben.

"Umm, Ben, for this to work, I'm going to need yours too."

"Oh, um, yeah." Ben rose slowly, realizing just how uncomfortable his uniform had become, and nervously began unsnapping his parka. As he pulled the coat from his arms, he turned slightly so that he wasn't facing Tim, then tossed the coat to his friend.

"All right, Ben," Tim called after several moments. "It's ready."

Ben looked over his shoulder to see Tim lowering himself onto the blanket and hurried over to slip under the connected parkas. He turned his back to Tim and heaved a sigh of relief until a long, lean back pressed against his. He became aware of every muscle and inch of flesh that warmed him through the thin layers of material. He began shivering with restrained desire and couldn't help but be ashamed of his reaction.

"Ben, are you still cold?"

Ben didn't dare answer. He remained silent, hoping his silence would discourage his compassionate friend. He heaved a sigh of relief when he felt Tim pull away, only to stiffen when the man's body was once again pressed against his. When an arm snaked around his waist, he realized Tim had turned around to give his friend the warmth he thought was needed. If the feel of the slim hips behind his own wasn't enough to send his mind reeling, then the feel of Tim's warm breath against his neck did the trick. His body pulsed with desire and awareness, and after a few moments he realized his hips were instinctively pushing back into Tim's. He stopped immediately and closed his eyes tightly, awaiting the reprimand he knew was coming.

However, instead of a reprimand, the hand that had been laying on Ben's stomach slowly moved up the front of his uniform.

"Are you warm yet, Ben?" a husky voice whispered into his ear.

*What?!* Ben was suddenly very confused. He didn't know whether to be pleased or terrified that Tim sounded more than willing to act as he had in Ben's fantasy. A part of him wanted to take off running as far as he could go, and the other wanted to turn around to discover the taste of Tim's lips.

Suddenly, the hand on his chest stopped its movement. Tim rose up onto one arm behind him. "Ben? Hey Ben?"

"I'm... here."

Tim immediately pulled away. "Oh God, Ben, I'm sorry. I thought... I mean, oh man. I'm, I'm sorry, I..."

Ben rolled onto his back and looked over at his friend, whose guilt-wracked expression was partially hidden by his hands. Somehow, he was reassured by the return of his friend's vulnerability. "Tim?" The hands lowered slightly, revealing a pair of sad eyes behind clear lenses. "Tim, it was nice."

They lay still for several moments until Tim finally moved, slowly crawling over until his face was directly over Ben's. Ben watched as his friend leaned down to press their lips together. Ben's eyes fluttered shut as he relished the kiss that was so much better than it had been in his fantasy. He slid his arms around Tim's waist, his mind reeling as Tim's tongue found its way between his lips. He gasped as their hips pressed tightly against each other, Tim's arousal evidently matching his own through the confines of their uniforms.

Tim's lips pulled away from his, only to start trailing along his jaw. He could feel a groan rumbling in his throat, prompting a tiny giggle from Tim.

"You've done this before," Ben murmured as the lips trailed over his ear.

"That surprises you?" Tim paused his ministrations to look Ben in the eye with a raised eyebrow.

"Actually, yeah, it does."

Tim's face spread into a wicked grin. "Would you like me to surprise you again?"

Before Ben could respond, a hand slid along the front of his uniform, pulling down the zipper until it could go no further. Suddenly, Tim ducked under the coats that covered them, and Ben could feel him moving downward until the man's breath warmed him through the material of his underwear. He felt a shiver of anticipation run down his spine as he waited for what he knew Tim would do next. Finally, a pair of warm lips pressed against the material covering his heated cock and his body arched up off the ground.

"Oh God," he managed to groan shortly before all coherent thought left his addled brain. His entire being was concentrated on where Tim's hands nimbly pulled Ben's cock from its cocoon, his lips covering it in soft butterfly kisses, inflaming Ben all the more. "Please," he moaned so softly he didn't think Tim had heard him, but moments later the lips parted to suck his flesh into the blessed heat of Tim's mouth. His head hit the floor as he gave himself up to the sensation of Tim's tongue wrapped around him, doing things he'd never imagined this man doing and turning his bones to jelly.

Ben's fingers reached down to wrap themselves in Tim's hair. He desperately pulled his friend's face closer, needing to be taken as deep as possible, but yelped as he felt a pinching on his stomach. To his great disappointment, the magnificent lips pulled away from his cock.

"Oops, sorry about that Ben. I keep forgetting I wear them."

One of Ben's hands was pulled away from the soft hair and Tim's glasses were placed into his palm. He pulled out his hand to drop the spectacles somewhere safe, then once again felt the awesome heat around his cock. His loins burned and his stomach quivered as he took great breaths of air to keep himself from skyrocketing away. Just when he was close to blissful oblivion, the lips left him once again.

Ben felt Tim's body slide up his own until the newly nude face once again looked down upon his with a grin a mile wide. Tim's lips opened as if to speak, but Ben frantically pulled their faces together, their lips meeting in a tangle of new tastes. Ben was amazed at how arousing it was to taste himself on top of Tim's already spicy-sweet flavour. His hands desperately moved to pull at Tim's clothing. He moaned as Tim's lips pulled away from his.

"Please, I need..." He didn't know how to finish the sentence. He knew he wanted, needed release, yet there was something else he needed, something he couldn't quite put a name to. He watched Tim's lustful eyes soften. The man reluctantly pulled away and worked at finishing what Ben had started, slowly revealing more and more bits of pale flesh for Ben's eyes to take in. Ben almost shyly did the same, until both men were finally lying together naked under the zippered coats. As the cool air hit their bare legs, they instinctively came together, their lips meeting as Tim's hands sought out the firm globes of Ben's ass.

Ben's hand bravely ventured downward to touch Tim's straining flesh. He wondered at how like yet unalike it was to his own. It was long, slender, and fit in his hand as if it had always belonged there. He felt Tim pull out of their kiss and tuck his face into the crook of Ben's neck, his breathing becoming more erratic as Ben's hand became more confident, stroking Tim's cock with touches he'd often used on himself.

"Oh Ben," Tim moaned, "I've wanted this for so long..."

"You have?" Ben asked, relieved he could now piece together a full sentence, no matter how short.

"Mmm hmm," the voice murmured against his skin. "I just never thought you'd want me the same way."

Ben didn't know what to say. Much to his surprise, he felt his heart soar at the knowledge that Tim's attraction was not simply a result of their circumstances. He didn't quite know what his own feelings were for the commtech, but a part of him wasn't against taking the risk to find out. Finally, the words he sought came to him.

"I do want you, Tim. More than I ever could have imagined."

Tim's face once again moved to look Ben in the eye, his hands moving up to cup Ben's face. "I need you so much, Ben. Will you let me show you just how much?"

Ben's eyes widened, not quite knowing what Tim was implying, yet trusting the man enough to go wherever Tim took him. He smiled. "Who am I to say no?"

His chest tightened as Tim's face brightened. He watched as the man turned over and reached out almost blindly for the pack they'd brought with them to the cabin, suddenly noticing how cold he felt without Tim's heat warming him. Ben couldn't resist the urge to reach out a hand and trace along the soft skin of Tim's back while he rummaged through their meager belongings. Finally, Tim turned back victorious, his hand clutching a small tube. Ben felt Tim's lips against his once more before being gently pushed away.

"Ben, I'm going to have to ask you to lie on your stomach."

Ben nodded and immediately settled himself face-down, his hips wiggling in an attempt at finding a comfortable position for his aching cock. He stopped his wiggling when Tim's hand started stroking along his back. He relaxed as the stroking settled into a calming caress, the fingers leaving not an inch of his skin untouched. When the fingers slid further down, first gliding over his ass and then unexpectedly slipping gently between his cheeks, he had to force himself not to jump. He trusted Tim, with his life and his body, and knew the man would never hurt him willingly.

The fingers left him momentarily, only to return feeling much slicker, leaving a trail of wetness in their wake. They once again trailed between his cheeks and he gasped as one circled and finally pushed through his tight ring of muscle. The sensation was disconcerting. It was so new, so strange... so wonderful. His breath caught as the finger started moving within him, allowing him to grow accustomed to the movement, so much so that he almost didn't notice when a second finger was added — almost. The added fullness was strangely welcome and he subconsciously spread his legs wider in submission to the fingers' movement. After several moments, the fullness increased as he felt another finger pushing into him. There was a pause as his body was allowed to get used to the invasion, then he felt his flesh gradually pushed and stretched.

Suddenly, one of Tim's fingers brushed against a spot deep inside him, causing fireworks to go off behind his closed eyelids. "More," he gasped and the spot was brushed again. His body felt hungry for release and he was relieved when Tim's lips rested near his ear to whisper to him.

"Are you ready for the next step?"

By now, Ben had figured out what was to happen and he nodded frantically. The fingers were pulled out, leaving him feeling empty, and his hips were pulled up so that he was supported by his knees. He could feel the head of Tim's cock pressing against him until his muscles finally relaxed, giving way for the flesh to fill him, slowly but surely. Tim's hands rubbed soothing circles along his back as the cock moved further inside him. There was only slight pain as his body became used to the new presence, soon turning to immeasurable pleasure as nerves were stimulated for the first time.

As Tim started moving within him, he took deep breaths in an effort to control his own reactions, something he should have known was beyond him by that point. His fingers grasped onto the edge of the blanket beneath him as his body was wracked with pleasurable sensations. Once again, fireworks went off behind his eyes as Tim's cock stroked the inside of his body. He gasped as one of Tim's hands found its way to his cock, gently stroking it in time with Tim's movements. It was only moments before he found himself exploding into oblivion, his body melting into the blanket beneath him. He was barely aware of Tim spilling himself into Ben, aware only of the languor of his own body.

Moments later, his mind reconnected with his senses. He realized Tim was no longer inside him, but curled around him, keeping his warm and safe. The coats had been moved so that they fully covered both men. Ben looked into Tim's face, so childlike in sleep, and smiled before he finally allowed his own fatigue to claim him.

* * *

They'd woken up in each others arms, reluctant to face the day. Eventually, Tim had opened his eyes to look at the windows of the cabin to find that the snowstorm was over. Ben had quietly watched as Tim rifled through their pack for their radio. He hadn't been able to read the expression on Tim's face when he'd tried the radio and was able to get through to seaQuest without any interference. Shortly thereafter, both men had dressed and sat in silence, waiting for a team from the ship to retrieve them and their snow-cat.

Now, Ben felt an unfamiliar feeling of nervousness flutter in his stomach as he walked down the halls of seaQuest. He'd just finished filling the Captain in on his and Tim's return trip from Iqaluit — with certain details omitted, of course. He was on his way to see how his friend was settling in and to find out what would become of their friendship now that they were back aboard seaQuest.

Ben paused as he stopped before Tim's quarters. He didn't know what to say. He'd spent the time sitting in the cabin and returning to seaQuest wondering what to do about what had happened between himself and Tim. What did he want? What did he think Tim wanted? Taking a deep breath, he rose his hand and knocked on the door. Whatever his questions, he would soon get the answers he sought.

After several moments with no answer, Ben knocked again. Tim's shift on the Bridge wasn't until much later, and it certainly wasn't dinner time. As several more moments went by without any response, he wondered where Tim could have gone.

With a sigh that was a mix of disappointment and relief, Ben turned to head back toward his room. As he turned the last corner, he spotted someone standing at the door to his quarters. The man sighed and turned to leave.

"Tim?"

The blushing commtech turned wide eyes on Ben. "Umm, Ben, I was just, um, coming to see you."

"Well, it's a good thing I showed up then," Ben said, unable to keep a smile from his face. He opened the door to his quarters and waited for Tim to go in ahead of him before entering himself, closing the door behind him and hurrying to clear off some surface for Tim to sit.

"Thanks," Tim said as he sat on a newly uncovered chair. He waited until Ben had sat down on his bunk to speak further. "So, how'd the debriefing go?"

"Oh, no problems. In fact, Bridger complimented us on our quick thinking."

A smile unlike any Ben had ever seen on Tim's face appeared, telling Ben exactly what was going through the commtech's mind. Ben attempted to clear his throat as he felt himself responding to memories of their time spent in the log cabin, memories he knew were playing at that moment in Tim's mind.

"Ben," Tim said quietly, looking down at his hands, "I think we both know why I'm here."

Ben chose not to speak, instead nodding and waiting for what Tim would say next.

"I didn't expect any of it to actually happen," he paused as his eyes rose to meet Ben's, "but I'm not sorry it did."

*This is it,* Ben thought. *It's time to figure out what you want.* Ben's eyes rested on Tim's face as his mind raced. It would be so easy to say he was sorry it had happened, to watch Tim leave and never risk his heart in another doomed relationship. If they were to make the attempt, every step would be difficult and new. They would face possible derision from friends, family, and crewmates if they decided to let the world know of their relationship. If they chose to hide it, they faced a number of different challenges, mostly revolving around arranging private time for the two of them out of the prying eyes of their shipmates.

His eyes locked with Tim's and in that instant, he knew the risks were worth not living the rest of his life on what ifs.

"Neither am I," Ben finally responded.

Tim's face beamed and Ben watched as the man rose from his seat to settle onto the bunk. Slowly, tentatively, their faces drew closer until their lips finally touched as if for the first time. Ben's hands found their way around Tim's waist as the commtech's fingers moved to cup his face. Ben reveled in the warmth that pervaded his senses and had no doubts he'd made the right choice.

As their faces finally pulled away, Ben could feel a sigh escape from his smiling lips. "You know, Tim, I think I just may need to make another supply run by the time we reach the Caribbean. I don't suppose you'd be willing to assist me."

Tim's lips moved only millimeters away from Ben's as he whispered, "I wouldn't miss it for the world."

The warm breath against his skin rose the hairs on the back of Ben's neck. He closed the distance and took the soft lips in a demanding kiss which was met with the same fire he felt burning in his own stomach.

The two men lay back onto the mattress, reacquainting themselves with each other's bodies, and choosing to delay any thought of their actions' consequences.

At that moment, there was only Tim and Ben.



The End