Last Thought

SeaQuest Fan Fiction

By Rickey

rickey@slashcity.netrickey@slashcity.net

Lt. Tim O'Neill and Lt. Commander Jim Brody deal with returning from the planet Hyperion ten years into the future.


Last Thought
By Rickey


"What are you willing to do about it?" The question echoed in Tim's mind over and over as he lay in his bunk. Answering that question was complicated. He did not fully understand the events that had put him in this situation. Closing his eyes, Brody's masculine image appeared before him and asked him again "What are you willing to do about it?"

This was torture. He remembered waking up in the bar and Brody being there with him. It felt like a hangover but he had not remembered drinking anything. In fact, he could not recall anything prior to the moment of being transported back to earth. No one did. Bridger had said that it was their last peaceful thought amidst all the chaos and destruction. Had he really been thinking about being with Brody or just merely enjoying some shore leave with his crew mates? Had Brody been thinking about him? From their discussion earlier that evening, Jim had alluded to as much. It was all so confusing.

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"Lieutenant, can I talk to you for a second." Brody called to him in the empty hallway.

"Sure Commander."

"How ya feeling?" Jim asked of him kindly.

"Pretty much the same as everyone else I think, a little disoriented."

"I'm quite edgy myself. What I wanted to ask you was about when we reappeared, together."

"Yea, that was strange, how we reappeared in clusters. Bridger said that it was our last"

Cutting him off "peaceful thought, yea that's what I'm asking."

"What?" Tim asked becoming somewhat uncomfortable.

"What was your last thought?"

"I'm not sure. Must have been about hanging out with the guys, I guess."

Brody took a deep breath, "Was it about me?"

Tim searched Brody's expression. It was a different Jim than he had seen ever before. Usually so confident, Jim now seemed vulnerable and uneasy. Just what was he saying? "I'm not sure I know what you mean."

"Tim, I'm going to tell you something and I'm trusting that you can keep it between us."

"OK." O'Neill answered through his anxiety.

"I need to talk about it. This whole thing is absurd, traveling through space and time. It's pretty damn unsettling. I don't like not knowing, not understanding. I need to regain some control over my life."

Tim was listening attentively and nodded in affirmation.

Brody continued, "I thinkI mean, I feel that my last thought was about you."

"Me?" Tim asked incredulously.

"Yes, Tim, you. I don't mean to burden you with this, but I think that you deserve the opportunity to respond." Jim offered.

"Respond?"

"Yes, and now that you know, what are you willing to do about it?" Brody gave a faint trace of a smile and headed off to the bridge.

In a trance Tim managed to get to his quarters.

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Tim was churning in fitful sleep in his bunk. Sweat poured from his brow as the images from his plight on Hyperion tormented him.

There were at least a dozen of them cornered by the Kraytax. Tim screamed out in terror as Miguel was cut down. But he had no time to mourn his best friend, the Kraytax were picking them off one by one, despite their heavy return of fire. Tim screamed out again, but this time in agony. Laser fire had hit him in the leg. Tim looked off in the distance and could see Lieutenant Brody with a few other crew members retreating safely from the scene. He couldn't move and he thought to himself, "This is it. I'm going to die. We're all going to die."

Just then there was an incredible amount of crossfire. Brody with no regard for his own safety came barreling though the enemy. With violent rage, he fired upon the Kraytax and made his way to O'Neill, the sole survivor of the group. Brody was covered in blood. None of it his own. He had just killed every Kraytax in the destroyed shuttle bay. Brody scooped Tim up in his arms and carried him away from the carnage. Something compelled Tim to look back. There in tatters were his friends blown to bits mixed in with the bloody remnants of the enemy that had brought them here to die. Tim then looked to Brody. His face was hard and showed not even an iota of emotion. He had fought like a rabid animal to save his life, but Tim couldn't help thinking that the effort was in vain. O'Neill could feel the blood draining from his body and was sure that it would all be over soon. They would all die in the end. He clutched Jim's strong shoulders and tried to enjoy a last moment of the human spirit, of the strength and warmth that it possessed.

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Tim shot up in bed breathing heavily. The clock read 2 A.M. Throwing on his sweats, he headed to Lt. Comdr. James Brody's quarters.

Tim knocked quietly on the door several times. Finally the groggy inhabitant asked "Who's there?"

"It's me, Tim."

The door opened wide. There was Jim in his boxer shorts and a Seaquest T-shirt rubbing his eyes. O'Neill entered hesitantly and Brody shut the door behind him.

Tim stared into Brody's cobalt eyes. O'Neill was completely overwrought with grief and a few tears streamed down his cheeks.

"What is it?" Brody asked gingerly.

"I couldn't go back to sleep. My dreams they're from Hyperion. The fighting, the blood, they're all dead." Tim began to cry the tears that he had been holding in for over a week now.

Brody reached out and hugged him tight, "I know. I know. It's all right."

*This was it,* Tim thought, *This was the feeling.* He rested his head on Brody's sturdy shoulder and began to sob. He couldn't remember the last time he cried this way, not since he was a boy. As he clung to Brody's warm muscular body, he could also not recall the last time he was held this way by another human being. It had been so long since he sought comfort from another. "Jim, I know what you did for me."

"Yes?" Brody asked as he pulled Tim off of his shoulder to look him in the face.

"Yes, I know that you saved me. I know that you carried me off. That's the last thing I remember. That was my last thought."

Brody had to know exactly, "What Tim? What was your last thought."

"I thought how serene it was in your arms and I was glad that it would be where I would die. Not on the ground in a puddle of blood with cold bodies surrounding me."

"Tim, my last thought was that I couldn't let you die. I cared for you, and when I saw you hit in the shuttle bay, I thought that I would never get the chance to tell you." Brody leaned forward and kissed the tear stained lips before him.

Tim was frightened. His emotions were so raw right now. He caved into the moment. The two men parted their lips in desperate kisses as they held each other tight. Tim's body was quaking. It was completely starved for physical contact. He could not remember the last time he had kissed anyone, or rather anyone had kissed him. There were so many things absent from his life for so long. It felt so wonderful to have Jim's powerful arms holding him and his sultry mouth intertwined with his own. His knees gave out and Brody helped him to the bed, where they kissed each other's emotionally spent bodies back to sleep.

As Tim began to emerge from blissful slumber, he sensed a warm body beside him. No it wasn't a dream. He turned his head to see James Brody cradling him. He closed his eyes and allowed himself to enjoy one more minute. Quietly he slipped from the bed and back to his quarters. It was 5 A.M. and he could catch a few more hours of sleep before he had to report to the bridge.

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O'Neill and Brody had the same bridge shift. Tim was seated at his station just a few minutes before his commanding officer arrived at the bridge. Ford was in a meeting with Hudson, something about the Macronesians taking over yet another colony. The only thing said between them the entire eight hour shift was when in incoming transmission came from UEO head quarters. Brody said plainly, "Put it on screen, Lieutenant." Tim's shivered at the sound of Jim's voice at close range. No one on the bridge could have possibly suspected anything between them.

Brody had never been one of Tim's close friends. Jim was a fighter pilot, a weapons officer. This was the guy that had led a team of commandos in the Korean conflict, a man of action, who liked to blow stuff up. Athletic and good looking, Jim was a ladies man and preferred the company of men who fit his profile, not technical folk like Tim. No, they were simply a means of getting him where he needed to be. No one could possibly imagine that James Brody could have feelings toward a geeky communications officer, or romantic feelings toward any man for that matter. Had they always been there, and he never noticed?

One of the only times Jim had ever praised him was after they had escaped the giant worm hole. "You were pretty brave back there." Now as Tim reminisced over their emergency ascent, it dawned on him that Jim had saved his life then as well. He unselfishly gave him his oxygen mask when his had run out. Just how many other times had Jim came between him and death?

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They were in the mess hall having dinner with Ford and Henderson. The three other officers made light conversation. Tim remained silent picking at his food. Making small talk over the decline of submarine food was beyond his capabilities at this point. Brody sat across from so casually. He could read nothing from his face. Confused and upset, Tim abruptly left.

Lonnie was concerned, "I don't think he's doing so well."

"I'll go talk to him." Brody offered getting up to follow.

He caught up with Tim as he was entering his quarters. "Tim wait up."

Tim turned to see Brody's eyes. They were soft now. He thought he would start to cry if he searched them any longer, so he turned away and opened the door to his room. Jim followed him in and waited to speak until they were safely behind closed doors. "Tim, you OK?" he gently reached his hand out and stroked Tim's upper arm.

O'Neill inched forward and embraced Jim tightly. They had wanted to hold each other all day, and finally they had their release. After a minute, Tim pulled away and spoke with a quivering voice, "I don't think I can do this."

Bringing Tim tight to his body, their lips almost touching, Brody whispered "I don't think I can hold back doing this." Wrapping Tim in his arms, he kissed him emphatically. The passion built in intensity as they kissed over and over. Jim placed a hand over Tim's face and ran it up through his hair. Tim could not resist. This was the feeling he had been desperately seeking. He couldn't let the fact that Brody was its origin deter him. He sucked on Jim's tongue and ran his hand up and down his back.

Brody kissed Tim's face and neck as he unbuttoned his shirt and slid it over his slender shoulders. Jim pressed his lips to the fair skin of O'Neill's smooth chest. Tim's mind swirled in a fog of new sensations. The instant Jim's tongue touched them, his nipples hardened and ached. He could feel the arousal in his throbbing crotch. Each heart beat sending another wave of yearning.

Jim kissed down his stomach to the top of his pants and began to undo the belt buckle. The instinct was to say 'No', but Tim fought through it and simply moaned as Brody cupped his balls and slid down the zipper. This was unthinkable, however, no more so than being transported to an alien planet to fight a global civil war. His pants and Tuesday's shorts were now around his ankles. Tim closed his eyes as Brody took his penis in his mouth. "Oh Christ." was all that escaped his clenched teeth. Cautiously, Tim placed his hands on Jim's head. The sandy blonde hair was soft to the touch. Tim was soaring with emotion and sensation. Brody had wanted him, and he needed to be wanted. The trip to Hyperion and back had taken more than ten years from him. It had taken his faith in life's meaning. All his previous beliefs were stripped away and his soul was lost. Jim had found it and wanted to touch it. It was his for the taking.

Brody continued to suck Tim's cock. It hardened even more as he was about to reach his climax. Jim pulled his mouth away and fiercely stroked until Tim came all over his fist. As Brody stood back up, Tim collapsed in his arms. He carried him back to the bed and removed Tim's shoes and remaining clothes.

Brody eyed Tim's nude frame as it stretched out on the bed. He so desperately wanted to fuck him, to feel himself inside him. As he kicked off his own shoes, Jim removed his shirt to reveal his well defined pecs and washboard stomach. Tim reached out his arms for Brody to join him on the bed. He desired to feel the commander's naked body against his own. Brody undid his fly and pulled his pants to the floor. His cock was a hard six inches. In jest, Tim saluted it, prompting a wide smile from Brody. He had a beautiful smile.

Finally, Brody joined Tim in the bed. Holding their bodies close, they inhaled the scent of each other's flesh. They began to kiss again, this time with heated passion. Brody whispered into Tim's ear, "I want to make love to you, Tim, but only if you want me to."

Timothy O'Neill was in foreign territory. This was one language he had never learned to speak. Just what did Tim want? As Brody kissed him again and caressed his body, the answer came, "Yes, I want you to." The two men kissed feverishly and Tim became bold. He gently clasped Brody's cock and lightly stroked it.

"Ahhh, careful you're gonna make me come."

"Sorry." Tim carefully released it and they kissed some more.

"Don't be" Kiss, kiss, kiss..."Tim?"

Kiss, kiss, kiss.

"Yes?"

Kiss, Kiss.

Brody tentatively broached the subject "Do you have any lubricant of some kind?"

Breaking from their embrace, Tim reached into his nightstand drawer and fumbled around. "I think I have some Vaseline in here somewhere."

"That'll do. I don't want to hurt you."

Tim turned his head with an extremely serious face, "I know."

Brody leaned over and kissed him again for good measure, before allowing him to return to his search. Tim handed a small jar to his soon to be lover.

Jim turned him on his stomach kissed from back of his neck down to his ass. Almost inconceivably, Tim was petrified and excited at the same time. The sound of the Vaseline jar being opened caused him to twinge. Brody's fingers were now spreading his ass cheeks and spreading the lubricant over his tightened hole. As the first finger penetrated his ass, he clenched even tighter.

"Just relax. " Brody reassured him while rubbing his back. Tim breathed deeply. "There, relax, just like that."

A second finger slid in and Brody began to pull them in and out. It felt strangely soothing. The third finger hurt a little as it stretched his skin. Tim bit his lip and closed his eyes as one of Jim's hands brushed along his inner thighs while the other thrusted in and out of his ass. Tim had no preconceived notion of what it was going to feel like, but now as it was happening, he knew he liked it. With each penetrating stroke, the desire to be fucked grew. Brody turned him back over and climbed on top of him.

"You're not stopping are you?"

"No Tim," he smiled and shook his head, "I need to see your face." Brody leaned in and kissed him deeply. He grabbed Tim's legs and pushed them forward, knees to his chest. "Tell me if it hurts too much, I'll stop.

"No, don't stop. I want to feel you inside me."

Tim's aggressive desire was turning Jim on even more. He positioned his dick at the entrance to Tim's ass and slowly eased the head in. He kept his eyes locked with Tim's and pushed himself in a little further. Tim gasped, but when Brody's eyes asked if he wanted him to stop, he shook his head 'no'.

With great care, Brody pressed forward until he was completely inside. It had been a very long time since he had made love to anyone, and now it was Tim. He felt invincible. He began to fuck Tim slowly, allowing him to adjust to the feeling.

Tim desperately tried to keep the pain off of his face. It burned, but was so utterly amazing. Grabbing Brody around the neck, Tim pulled him in close to kiss. The long fluid strokes between their sweat covered bodies continued. They grunted and moaned reveling in each sensation, while Tim persevered through the dull pain as it lingered beneath the luxurious pleasure. Picking up the pace, Brody neared orgasm. Their eyes were locked in intimate silent communication. Every movement was acknowledged and understood. Every thought was transferred in effortless emotion.

"Oh Tim, Tim." Brody moaned as he erupted in rapture. Tim squeezed him tight through the final ardent thrusts.

As Brody withdrew and laid beside him, Tim noticed tears welled up in his lover's eyes. In contentment they nuzzled each other as they settled together in the bed.

Tim had been at a loss over the unimaginable events of the last few weeks. Perhaps this was irony at its finest. Before Hyperion, the idea of being sexually involved with another man, let alone Lt. Comdr. Brody would have been disconcerting. Now as he lay against James Brody, he had the first moment of tranquility since his return.

Curled up against Brody's substantial frame, Tim searched for answers. "I need to ask, the whole ladies man routine"

"All a front."

"and the intrepid soldier volunteering for every dangerous mission?"

"All me." Brody proclaimed with a smug smile.

Tim produced a quiet laugh and nestled his head against Brody's smooth muscular chest. Jim kissed the top of his head and caressed his arm and shoulder.

"I've always kept my personal life separated from my military life, " Brody continued, "until now."

"Why now? Why me?" Tim inquired as he circled Brody's nipple with his index finger.

"Because amidst this whole crazy mess with the Kraytax, I realized that I had to reach out to you on the off chance that you might feel the same way. Life is too fragile." Brody squeezed Tim's arm. "For a long time, I've known that I was gay. I tried to deny that for many years. I even got married"

Tim lifted his head and gave a quizzical stare.

"disaster, " Brody proceeded as Tim returned his head to his chest, "so years ago I started leading a different existence when I was off duty. The military is my life and the last thing I want is a dishonorable discharge. But I know now that there has been an emptiness in my life. I need somebody to care about and someone to care about me. That is why, you Tim. Secretly I've had a crush on you for quite some time."

"Me?"

"Yes, you. You're intelligent, capable and very cute."

Tim blushed at the compliment.

Brody smirked at Tim's pink cheeks, "And most of all, you care about people, your friends, your crew mates. Your compassion and empathy are your most attractive qualities."

"It's so strange to hear you talk this way. You're always such the tough guy and you never seemed to even notice me."

Brody lifted Tim's chin and bent over and kissed him affectionately. "I always noticed you. It was almost impossible to pretend that I didn't."

"This is a lot for me to process right now. Everything that has been my life these past few weeks is vastly different from what it was before. I guess what I'm getting at is, I don't know how I feel. It's all sort of jumbled right now."

"I understand completely. Take all the time you need and know that I'm here, if you want me."

Yes, Jim did understand. Who else had been a witness to the carnage that he had seen? Everything that Tim was struggling with, Brody was going through as well. Tim did want him. James Brody was the only thing anchoring him to the earth right now. In his precarious existence, Brody was all that was tangible to grab on to. The rest of his life was lost in the frigid waters of Hyperion.

Lt. Comdr. Brody was dauntless and strong. A lover of danger, he exemplified courage and valor. But Brody had an innate vulnerability, he would only share with Tim. Both the valiancy and the vulnerability lured O'Neill to him. In Jim's arms, he was secure, protected from the cold and hazardous world. All the while, Brody would appreciate the fear and anxiety that flowed through his veins.

The two men kissed and nuzzled each other enjoying the warmth of each other's bodies. They were very much alive on SeaQuest, not dead on some alien planet as Tim had envisioned the first time that he had been held in Brody's powerful arms.



*The End*




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