RETREAT

Author: Savoria

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters(which are the property of Amblin Entertainment), I don't profit from the characters, and I don't wish harm upon the actual people who play the characters(I only wish to screw around with the FAKE personas)and I also do not hold any sort of bad karma towards homosexuals(referring to the term "faggot", which is used)and neither does Lucas, he's just understandably upset. What they do in their privates lives is their own damn business.

This story is the sequel to "ESCAPE", which takes place during the second season, only Doctor Westphalen is still around, and Lucas has a sister named Amy, who is 4 years old and doesn't speak. This sequel was inspired by every dirty movie and fanfic I ever saw and read, so the plot is still quite dark and twisted, including flashbacks from "ESCAPE", and also a visit from an old 1st season friend.

I've decided that this story should be rated NC-17 since it will include mild swearing, references to past child abuse, sexual assault/rape. Do not read if you don't have a strong mental wall.



RETREAT
By Savoria

The minute Nathan Bridger had been informed that the Wolenczak siblings and their kidnapper were back onboard, he had immediately dashed down to medbay, running over anyone who happened to be in the way. Now he was faced with a deeply saddened doctor and a quietly irate commander.

"Are they all right? Has the kidnapper been identified? Why did this all happen? Can I see them?" Bridger was exhausted from his search for the two children and he did not seem prepared to hear the worst: the kidnapper lived while Amy's body currently resided in a body bag.

Westphalen sniffed and wiped her red eyes. "Nathan...please sit down."

She led him to a table.

"Oh God, they're all right, right? Lucas isn't...and Amy..."

Westphalen interrupted him, very weary, very detached. "Lucas will live. His right hand is sprained, but none of his bones are broken from what I can tell, however I am not entirely sure about his ribs. He may have a hairline fracture there. He does have a lot a ssuperficial wounds, it looks as though his kidnapper beat him frequently. The worst is the damage to..to," Westphalen choked on the finish, "his rectum."

Anger had already been brewing inside Nathan from the start, but now he was outraged as the doctor's insinuation sunk in. "His rectum? You're not telling me..."

"What I am telling you Nathan is that Lucas was raped, and God only knows how many times, and I'm fairly damn sure that Amy was raped too, but I haven't examined her body yet." She took in a sharp breath and looked into Bridger's eyes.

Bridger looked from Commander Ford to Westphalen and back as his stomach dropped to his feet. He stood up shakily and looked over their heads into the adjoining room where Lucas lay, all curled up and unresponsive.

"Amy is dead?"

Walking to Lucas' bed, he forgot all about Westphalen and Ford and the dammned ship and everything else. He peered at Lucas, who's eyes were open, but seeing nothing; it was as if he was back in the dark room he had been kept in, alone and frightened, knowing that screaming for help or mercy was pointless. Truly he was alone now, without the comfort of his child.

Westphalen crept up behind him, Ford in tow, and she covered the captain's hand with her own. "Nathan?" she whispered.

"How did she die?" Bridger asked tonelessly.

"It looks like the man who took Lucas and Amy killed Amy with some kind of drug, and then was taken out by Lucas. I can't really be sure, sir. Lucas seemed almost...almost guilty when we found him. He said something...'I didn't mean to.' I think that was it."

"He didn't mean to kill his captor?" asked the Captain.

"Maybe. Maybe he thought he killed him. He was only sedated, though. But it just doesn't fit, I don't know why, but I don't think Lucas feel so guilty about protecting his sister. He was just as much of a father to her as...well he practically was her father."

"Is their kidnapper awake? I'd like to get the story straight, if possible," said Bridger.

"Not yet. You might get a more accurate description from Lucas, though," Westphalen offered.

"Just as well; I don't think I can face that bastard without strangling him on the spot right now anyway." Bridger gently shook Lucas' shoulder, hoping he wasn't in too much shock. Lucas didn't respond.

"I'll be in my cabin," Bridgers said in barely a whisper as he turned and stalked out of Medbay. Once i his room, he sat on his bed and cried out every tear he had in him.

At least the screaming had stopped. But now there was too much silence, surrounded by action. No noise, only feeling: arms engulfed Lucas, squeezing him. A presence in his rectum burned him, while hot air on his neck frightened him as a strong hand covered one of his own. Lucas couldn't hear anything or move anything, since he was just a toy now. A plaything for a spoiled child who was playing a cruel game. The hand squeezed his own tighter and tighter, almost crushing it, until it released his hand in satisfaction. Lucas felt the man leave him and he was once again left in the overwhelming silence.

Lonni Henderson leaned over the bed to peer at Lucas with pity. Dagwood was behind her, innocently curious and concerned for his friend. Tim O'Neil walked in behind them both.

"Has he woken up yet?" asked Tim at the door.

"He's awake, he's just not responding," Westphalen answered from behind Tim. "There shouldn't be so many people in here. A crowd won't help Lucas' condition."

"What condition?" Dagwood now spoke, "Is Lucas sick?"

"He is in post-traumatic shock. He's been through quite a bit, and I'm not even sure what that statement even entails. But I do know it means for now that he needs to hear a friend's voice, just not so many of them at once."

Westphalen eyed the three of them.

"But there's only three of us. Will three voices at once hurt him?" Dagwood took a step towards the doctor, worried.

Doctor Westphalen sighed. "Maybe not," she answered softly. "Just talk to him one at a time, not too loudly please, and DO NOT mention Amy. Her death is what upset him so much in the first place." and she left them to it.

Tim crossed over to the other two. "Lucas?" Tim whispered, "Um, are you there? Everyone misses you, and I'm praying for you...I'm sorry about everything that happened. That man, whoever he is, will get what he deserves, in life or in death, I promise."

"Amy is dead?" Dagwood asked shakily, upset. Amy and Dagwood had been like two peas in a pod from the day that Dagwood came onboard and Amy accidently ran into him. Something between the two of them just clicked as Dagwood bent over to pull Amy to her feet and from that point on they were nearly inseparable.

"How? Why? That..." Lonni figured it out, "That man killed her, didn't he? Jesus..."

"That's what Commander Ford told me. Come one guys, we're not supposed to talk aobout that right now. it won't help Luc...look!

Tears were streaming down Lucas' face.

"Oh, Lucas, we're so sorry," Lonni whispered. She leaned closer and gently kissed the top of Lucas forehead.

Wrong move. A conditioned response took over: Lucas began to scream in terror as his body curled up defensively. He covered his head with his arms.

Westphalen came running. "What's going on?! All right, everyone out! NOW!"

Henderson shakily tried to explain as she, Dagwood, and Tim were herded out the door, "I...I just gave him a kiss goodnight, I had no idea he would react like this...I'm sorry, I just..."

"You were just trying to help, I know. So help him now and go," Westphalen almost snapped. She softened slightly and said, "go on now, he'll be all right."

Henderson nodded and left hurriedly. Westphalen went to her frightened patient and began to try to comfort him. Realizing that he was beyond that, she turned to get a sedative and found Captain Bridger at the door. "What's wrong with him? What can I do?"

"Help me," Westphalen pleaded. She indictated Lucas and went to get the sedative. Bridger crossed to Lucas and tried to calm him down.

"Lucas, you are on the seaQuest, you're safe now. Don't be afraid, we're trying to help...shhhhhhhh, it's all right."

Shhhhhhhhh, Lucas-that reached him. Whimpering, Lucas Lucas' open eyes finally saw his blurry surroundings. His eyes darted from the room to he captain, and Lucas relaxed a little more. But then he saw the doctor-and then he saw the syringe.

"NO!" Lucas began to thrash and then scream as Bridger made an effort to hold him down. Lucas felt paralyzed with fear as Bridger put his arms around him and held him.

"Please...no more," he whispered.

"What?" Bridger bent down to hear him, "What did you say?"

"No more," Lucas began to weep, remembering all the pain and horror...and Amy. "Oh God, I'm sorry! I want to go home!"

Westphalen was standing behind Bridger, ready with the sedative, but backed off when Bridger suddenly waved her away.

"You are home, kiddo," Bridger whispered gently, "No one is going to hurt you here. Kristin and I are trying to help you. How can we help you, Lucas? What do you need?"

By now, Lucas had calmed down considerably, but he was still very tense. He sniffed, then whispered in a rush, "Please don't hurt me I didn't mean to do it I'm sorry I don't want to die and don't send me away PLEASE!"

"Whoa, whoa, kiddo, what are you saying?" Bridger relaxed his hold on Lucas and motioned for Kristin to come closer. Lucas eyes widened as he noticed her, which prompted Kristin to put down the needle she held.

"Be careful with that, I wasn't careful," Lucas whimered. He began to cry again, this time in wracking sobs. Bridger held him as Kristin stroked his hair, the whole time looking from Lucas to Bridger in befuddlement. Bridger looked at Westphalen and shrugged sharply, upset that he had no idea what was going on, but sensing that it was a largly painful deal for Lucas.

Lucas cried himself to sleep. Westphalen stayed by his side. Bridger stormed off towards the brig.


******


"Who are you and what the Hell did you do to those two children?! I want an answer now, or I swear on my career and on this boat that you will not make it off this ship alive! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?!"

he captured captor sat calmly across from him at the table in one of the brig's smaller cells, alone with the furious captain. He seemed to be genuinely amused at the captain's distress.

"How is he?"

"Excuse me?!" Bridger snapped

"I asked you 'how is he?' I didn't mean to hurt him too badly."

"Like Hell! He's in post-traumatic shock, in deep guilt about something that I can't figure out but I'm damn sure you can, his little sister is dead, which I know you know because you are probably the murderer, and I'm pretty damned unhappy about the fact that you previously kidnapped and tortured them both before you decided you didn't want to play with one of them anymore! Do you have any MORE questions?!"

"Yes. Are you going to prosecute Lucas?"

Bridger stared at him, dumbfounded. "WHAT?!"

"Oh he didn't tell you? You really ought to get all the facts before you place all blame on me, then," at this point, his English accent shone through, grating on the ears of anyone who was listening.

Bridger glared at him dangerously, barely able to resist the urge to beat him senseless. Bridger called for the guard to let him out and left, not knowing where to go or begin.


*****


Westphalen could barely keep her composure as she examined the tiny corpse before her. Underneath her clothes was an almost indescribable sight that should never be seen, but had to be seen because no words could do it justice.

Bruises. Lacerations. Blood. Every inch of her had been afflicted by one of three, or all of three, or even more. Westhalen felt herself grow faint at the thought of anyone doing this to a child, especially one so small and beloved. Her ills were like Lucas' times three; Westphalen figured that she would never see anything so horrible again after examining Lucas, and thought she would never see worse. Amy's body proved her wrong. Tears filled Westphalen's eyes, and as she noticed the dried tears on the body itself, nausea swept over her. Westphalen ran off to vomit. Over a toilet, half crying and half catching her breath, she knelt, defeated, "At least now I know, Lucas," she whispered shakily.


*****


"Who is that bastard?"

Nathan Bridger was pacing angrily in the conference room, where Commander Ford and Lieutenant James Brody were also scowling. "I checked with Noyce. His name is Sean Robert. He was a doctor," Ford informed him.

"A doctor? Was the kidnapping his attempt at human experimentation?" asked Bridger.

"No, but his license was revoked and he served jail time for doing just that."

"You see, Captain," Brody put in, "this kidnapping was nothing more than a cheap and cruel attempt to get back at the UEO for blowing the whistle on him. To him it was also a salute to a co-worker/role-model: Rubin Zellar."

Bridger slammed his hand down on the desk. "This was just another game, wasn't it," he grumbled.

"Unfortunately, sir."

"Now all I need to know is why Roberts said what he said," Bridger sat down in frustration, "Why would we need to prosecute Lucas when he was the victim in all this?"

"I can't say, Captain," said Ford, "any thoughts, Body?"

"Beats me, Commander."

"Then I hope that Lucas is up for a chat," said Bridger ruefully.


*****


"Won't you tell me what it is, Love?" Westphalen cooed, "Something's the matter, am I right? Let me help you...please, Lucas."

Lucas was relaxed now, lying inert on the bed in Medbay. His eyes were still opened, focused on the doctor and occasionally the ceiling, but hewould not speak or do much else. He was buried in his own head for the moment.

Lucas never realized before just how noisy silence could be; the absence of laughter, cries, screams-it was deafening to him. He wanted all the lights to go out forever, where he was, so he wouldn't have to see or be seen, or see the emptiness he had left when he had lost the person he had loved the most. It was his fault and this would be his punishment. It was fitting.

He was cold. He had never been cold in the darkness before, since the skin of his captor unfortunately had often warmed his own-and Amy's. Poor Amy, where did you go? Can I come too?

Lucas felt warmer now, as if he was joining his sister. He relaxed and smiled in anticipation as the warmth enfolded him, like arms. Like arms wrapping around him...why were they squeezing him? No, not again...they were pressing...get off...

"Get off!" Lucas suddenly cried out, "GET OFF!"

Bridger, who had come to see him and was giving him a hug, immediately let go as Lucas began to squirm in his grasp.

"Leave me alone please! Leave me alone!" Lucas began to cry, thrashing about to make sure whoever was trying to take him would think twice first.

"Lucas, calm down, it's me!" Bridger called to him.

Lucas stopped thrashing and wept.

"Nathan, I told you..." an exasperated Westphalen hurried into the room to check on him.

"I'm sorry! I...I couldn't help it, he looked so alone..." stuttered Bridger.

"Then be by his side. That's the best you can do."

Lucas was still again. Bridger sat defeatedly in a chair beside him, sighing, "How can I reach you?"

No answer.

"Captain, Admiral Noyce is online to talk to you," Lieutenant O'Neil's voice informed Bridger.

Taking one last look at the troubled youth, Bridger replied, "On my way," and left the Medbay.


*****


"When do you want him?" asked Bridger stoically.

"As soon as possible. I want to make sure he stays confined-preferably in a mental institution-for a long time. Commander Ford sent me all the info about the kidnapping, but I have a feeling he left out a detail or two."

"There are a few details he might have left out; he probably had trouble writing them down, considering their nature," Bridger sounded very detached.

"Have I missed something, Nathan?"

Nathan sat down across from the vidcom, visibly exhausted and saddened. He looked up at Noyce's image and tried to keep his grief from spilling. "God, Bill, he tortured them. He kept them in a completely dark room for almost a month and...and I don't know if I ever want to know the entire story, but he raped them both repeatedly, he beat them regularly...Jesus, Lucas is in post-traumatic shock...and Amy is dead."

Noyce's shock registered clearly on his face. He shook his head and said quietly, "Your Commander needs to be more specific in the future. The report just stated that the Wolenczaks were recovered."

Bridger shook his head. "I'm not even sure who killed her yet. The sick fuck fully enjoys driving me insane, and I can't reach Lucas. I need to get the story from one or the other, and I think the other would be more accurate."

"Lucas?"

"Right."

Noyce thought for a moment. "I remember hearing about a kid who went into post-traumatic shock after seeing both his parents burn to death in a fire. The one individual who was finally able to reach him was Spike."

"Who was Spike?"

"His dog."

"Great." Bridger stood up and informally saluted his old friend. "You can take the scum whenever you feel like it. Just tell me where to go to drop him, or strand him forever." Noyce nodded once and the UEO insignia replaced his image on the screen. Sudddenly, he felt the ship rock slightly.

Bridger went to the Bridge and found Ford, Piccolo, and O'Neil in a light argument.

"Gee, Commander, I'm sorry I skimmed the sub on a coral reef, but I was only following your directions!"

"O'Neil, you said the coast was clear," began an exasperated Ford.

"And the sensors showed that it was, just not in the area you were shooting for. Or maybe Piccolo got the coordinates wrong," O'Neil chided lightly.

"I know how to drive this barge, you two just can't point me in the right direction!" Piccolo shot back.

Ford and O'Neil began to fume at Piccolo.

"All right, I want the three of you to take off your boxing gloves and get back to your posts. It wasn't anyone's fault, just a mistake that I hope will never happen again in the future, and certainly not in any emergency? Am I clear?"

"All clear, sir," O'Neil said apologetically.

"As crystal, sir" Piccolo grunted.

"Yes, sir," Ford said, calming himself.

"All right, then."


*****


Lucas' condition hadn't changed since the captain's last visit. The Doctor had looked so tired from worriedly pacing all day that Bridger ordered to her to go eat and sleep. After some stubborn protests, she finally agreed and left for the Mess Hall.

Bidger settled in a chair next to Lucas' bed and looked down at Lucas' pale, tormented face. The bruises were healing, but the pain would be there for quite some time after. Bridger closed his eyes.

He opened them suddenly when he felt a hand on his arm. He looked up and saw Westphalen staring at him.

"Did you sleep well?"

"Sleep? I just closed my eyes for a second."

"A second? Try twelve hours."

Bridger rubbed the sleep from his eyes and realized that his joints ached and his stomach was growling. He had no appetitie, however.

"Noyce said that this kid who was in Lucas' situation snapped out of it because his dog managed to get to him. Maybe the key is for me to just be here, or maybe a close friend should be. I don't know, Kristin! I feel so useless and outnumbered by every asshole one earth who would dare do anything like this to innocent children.I want to use this ship to seek out every one of them and blow them out of the water and off the land. What am I supposed to do?!"

"Know. Know who killed Amy. Find her killer, do it for her, for Lucas. Help yourself to help them, Nathan." Westphalen said softly

"I don't think I can reach him, seriously. I don't think I'm the one. But then who is?" By now Bridger was almost wringing his hands in his anxiety.

Westphalen had been thinking the entire time. Suddenly something clicked in her mind, and she smiled faintly.

Bridger peered at her curiously. "Kristin?"

Kristin stared into his eyes. "I think I know who."


*****


"Where's Amy?"

"Amy's gone."

"Where did she go?"

"Somewhere where you can't help her-or hurt her."

"I DIDN'T MEAN TO!" Lucas' mind screamed, tormented by the memory.

Looking down in his mind's eye he could see Amy dying in his arms, at his hands, at his faults. All his fault.

"Oh, come back to me Amy, please! I need you...I love you. Now I've got nothing. I don't want to be alone! I want someone to love!

He cried in his head, silently. "I want some one to love me."

"I love you, man."

"What?" Lucas heard someone far off in the darkness, gentle, kind-oddly familiar. "Who's there?"

"Come on, kid, everyone misses you. I miss you. Darwin misses you. Word is he's going nuts with worry, and he's driving the crew nuts along with him. Come on, Bridger's going out of his mind!"

What is it? "Who are you?"

Lucas needed to know. Did someone still care? He had heard whispers before, but he had been afraid to tune into them, afraid of what the whispers said, afraid of the whisperers.

"Who are you?"

Lucas open eyes focused on a familiar face that he hadn't seen for awhile, he remembered. He remembered that he liked the face. This face was kind, this face like to laugh a lot, and get his into mischief with its devious smiles.

"Hey buddy," said Lieutenant Benjamin Krieg.

"Did you kill Amanda Ellen Wolenczak?"

"No, that was not my intention."

"Then just what was your intention?"

"To have a little fun."

Sean Roberts, sitting as usual at the far end of the table in his cell, chuckled evilly as Bridger turned away from him in disgust. When he turned back, he was livid.

"Do you think this is a game?! Do you understand what you have done?! You are in enough hot water to last a hundred men three lifetimes! Now for the last time, HOW DID SHE DIE?!"

"I'm pretty sure the boy had something to do with it. I was only foolin'," Roberts stated calmly.

"Let me outta here," Bridger snarled at the guard.

"I only wanted to play a little. For Rubin. He loves games. Wish he could've been there, we would have had sooo much fun."


*****


"B..Ben?" stuttered Lucas.

"Welcome Back, kid."

Lucas began to sob at the sight of his old friend. Krieg held him patiently until Lucas was through.

"You all right now?"

"No."

"Didn't think so."

"I miss her." Lucas whispered.

"Amy?"

"Yeah."

"Tell me about her."

Lucas closed his eyes, remembering the last time he saw her in his arms, all limp. He felt the tears come again. "Oh god, Ben, it was Hell."

"Forget that piece of shit. Tell me about Amy when she was still alive and happy. She was three last time I saw her, right? Smart as a whip? Has she turned into a little wise-ass like me? I was hoping that some of my charm would rub off on her." Krieg grinned.

Lucas chuckled an coughed slightly. "Unfortunately, yes. Sometimes, anyways. I never thought such a quiet kid could have so much attitude. She was...she reminded me of me and you. She was coming out of her shell, and...and she was so damn smart, Ben!" Lucas voice was beginning to break, "She still wouldn't talk, and everyday, even everyday I was in that dark shithole, I wondered if that would be the day when I would hear her voice. Jesus....when..when that..that monster was beating her or," he choked on the word, "Ra..raping her, sometimes I..." his voice trailed off and he buried his face in his pillow.

Krieg wasn't letting him go that easily, though. "You what, Lucas?" he asked softly to the back of his friend's blonde head.

Lucas sniffed, "I..I wished that she would snap and just start shouting at him to stop. I wished she would just tell him 'NO!'...you know? I wished that, but instead she just screamed...it was so loud, Ben." Lucas subconsciously covered his ears as he remembered. Ben put his arms around him. "It hurt so bad, Ben! I hurt so bad! I miss her. I wish that bastard would have just let me hear her say something before...Oh, God..." Lucas began to cry, and his cries soon turned into wracking sobs.

Krieg held him pityingly. "It's okay. Let it out. Don't bottle up all that misery that ass caused you. Let it get better. Hell, how do you think Katie and I managed to avoid killing each other off on this tin can?

Lucas eyes widened at his friend, pleading for understanding. "It's not like that, Ben! It won't get better...Ben..I..It's my fault," his voice had dropped to a whisper.

"What? How do you figure? Did you somehow temporarily possess that guy's soul and go on a murderous rampage? Come on, Lucas, it wasn't your fault and you know it! You were at his mercy, there wasn't anything you could've done."

Lucas covered his face, now he was feeling angry, hysterical, and profoundly sad all at once. It was too much to bear. The darkness inside him dissolved, snapped apart. "Don't joke, Ben, for God sakes! Her death wasn't a joke, an accident, or a goddamn twist of fate! I killed her, Ben! I killed my own fucking child!"

At this revelation, Ben sat back in shock, letting go of Lucas. He turned as he heard gasps behind him to find Westphalen and Bridger standing in the doorway, equally as shocked.

Lucas sat up in bed and focused on the two of them. "That's right, Doc! I'm a fucking murderer! I'm also a child molester and a druggie. So by all rights I'm probably a faggot now, too. I'm ready to go now, Captain! Anywhere but here!" Lucas fell back and started to sob again. "It hurts so fucking much!" he wailed. He turned over, reached out and managed to overturn a table nearby in his frenzy.

Ben wrapped his arms around the raging seventeen-year-old and noticed the Doctor and Captain approaching him, the Doctor aiming for the sedatives.

Krieg put up a hand, urging them to stop where they were. The two of them backed off into the doorway again.

"Hey, buddy, buddy, it's all right. You're all right! There must have been a misunderstanding , an accident."

"It's not all right! She's dead and I'm alone," whimpered Lucas.

"You won't be alone if you remember her. You won't be alone if you come to terms with everything, and you won't be alone if you let the people who really care about you help. So let us help you, tell us what happened, buddy. Please?" Krieg couldn't resist the urge to bring up his hands as though the were going to tickle the boy, who glared a warning that he definitely should not even dare.

Lucas trembled in bed, staring at the ceiling as he closed his eyes. When he opened them again, he began to speak, composed, but as detached as Bridger and Westphalen had tried to be for the past few days.

When he first took us, while we were on leave, I thought we would be held for ransom from the UEO or something like that. But nothing prepared me or Amy for what he had in store for us both. I told him that the UEO didn't negotiate with terrorists and that I wouldn't tell him anything and that Amy didn't know anything and all that happy crap. I found out a few hours later after he put us in that...that room, that all that didn't matter to him. It didn't matter to me much later on, I just wanted out."

He sat up, and looked at the couple in the doorway. Westphalen and Bridger moved a little closer, still standing, as Lucas continued:

"I still don't know what he looks like. Whenever he came in, he would shine a flashlight on us so he could find us in the room. The he would turn it off. After his first few visits, Amy and I tried to hide from the light, but we never could. The light would always go out, and he would come. The first time, he just beat us one at a time. He just kicked me over, and over...and over. And then he started in on Amy. We were both so scared, we screamed so loud, but no one could hear us, and I knew it. I..I had..an accident, I was so scared, so did Amy. It made things damn uncomfortable for us."

Lucas covered his eyes, looking as though he were trying to physically shove back the tears. He went on: "The beatings weren't the worst of it. I preferred the beatings. They weren't as terrifying as...as the rapes were. Those were...so painful, so humiliating. Poor Amy, he kept going after her...he did me three times, I can't remember how many times Amy suffered it...maybe five, six times...or more. She screamed so loudly! I wanted to help her, make her better, tell her that everything would be all right. But what's-his-face always injected me with some drug before each assualt.

Oh God, the feelings are indescribable. That stuff makes you so...useless. Helpless. I couldn't move...I..I couldn't speak...but I could here her crying for me, her screams...they were so loud." Lucas covered his ears absently again.

"Lucas?"

"What?"

Doctor Westphalen took a step forward. Bridger was in too much shock to ask questions. "What did you mean when you said you were a child molester? Surely you mean the man who raped you was the molester. You were the victim here, Lucas," she affirmed, in soothing tones.

"Amy, Doc. Amy was the victim."

Warm breath covered his face as Roberts held him down on the floor.

He felt light kisses on his forehead and mouth, but he was powerless to stop him, due to the powerful drug that coursed through his system, without care. He felt the warm and heavy body rub against him, moving up his body, until he felt something against he mouth. Roberts slowly but firmly pushed it into his mouth, practically down his throat. Lucas couldn't gag, or move at all, he only knew the horror of the situation, and he felt nausea rising in his stomach Roberts began pumping it in and out of his mouth. After a few moments, Lucas felt something squirt into his mouth. After pulling it out of his mouth, Roberts moved down the length of Lucas' body. Lucas' mind screamed as he felt Roberts unbutton and unzip his jeans, then remove them.

He felt a hand shove its way down his boxers and grab hold of what it wanted. The hand rubbed and squeezed, trying to arouse Lucas, but Lucas was hindered by drugs and disgust; he wanted to beat the shit out of Roberts, then castrate him. Roberts soon gave up and let go. Lucas heard him move away and prayed to hear the door open and shut. Instead, Lucas heard Roberts come back, this time dragging something...or someone. He couldn't crane his neck to look down the length of himself, but he could see the light from the flashlight appear. Suddenly, he was grabbed again, but this time something was shoved down upon him. Lucas heart raced and pain lanced through his abdomen. 'Ah, Jesus...God, he's going to fuck me half-mast. Oh, please...better me than her. Agh!'

The pain was almost unbearable. Compounding it was the sudden screaming.

The horror of the situation dawned on him as he felt what he thought was Roberts begin to ride him, but in an uncertain and mechanical fashion.

A cry or a scream accompanied every thrust. OH MY GOD.

'AMY? Oh God, get her off me, please! She hurting...you're hurting her, I'm hurting her! STOP IT! AH, Christ, it hurts..."

Lucas lay there in agony, hearing his sister's agonized cries, but unable to jackshit about it.

Lucas was close to tears, too close to the situation to be unemotional about it anymore. "It hurt...so bad, it hurt...I was hurting her. I never thought he would be so evil, so cruel, so abominable. I didn't...I couldn't stop him. And after the drugs wore off, he...he made me swallow his...his semen. I was so glad that the lights were off, I...I swear to God that if I had to face Amy at that point I would have killed myself with whatever I could find. I wouldn't be able to look at her now if she were here. I feel so..."

"Ashamed." Bridger now stepped forward, taking the place of a newly shocked Westphalen, who by now was weeping silently for Lucas and Amy. "You feel ashamed. Dirty. Humiliated. You want to hit something really, really, hard, hoping that the pain it'll cause will overwhelm the pain you already feel.It's... it's shitty, Lucas! But it's not your fault." Bridger crossed the room to Lucas' bedside. "It's not. You were the victim of an atrocious, hideous game. Amy would know that you and she were both forced to do unspeakable things...you said so yourself...she was damn smart."

Ben was sitting back, saddened and shocked at his friend's situation.

Bridger stroked Lucas hair, he stared into his haunted eyes. "How did Amy die, Lucas?"

"She...I..." Lucas took a deep breath.

"Let it out," Krieg whispered.

Lucas breathed out. And then:

"I couldn't take it anymore. He came and and he came to me and he came inside me and he..came. Then he went after Amy and I wanted to kill him so I attacked him God I was so furious and enraged and I brought him down I brought him down despite the drug that he gave me I overcame it I did it for Amy for little Amy I miss her so much but see I he dropped the needle that he had used near me and it was still full of a lot of sedative because he gave me sedative just to relax me instead of giving me that paralyzing shit so I could fight back and I did and I sedated him and then Amy turned on the light and oh god she looked so sad and small and she was in so much pain that she couldn't stop crying once she started so I figured I give her some sedative to quiet her so I could figure out how to get escape without alerting anybody who might be outside the room because I had no idea who was there if anyone was and I didn't know where we were and I was scared and I wanted to make Amy better but my mind wandered and I gave her too much I WAS SO STUPID! I sat there with her in my arms thinking that I was making her better when really I was killing her but I didn't realize it until I felt her heart slow down until it stopped and I tried to revive her but it was too late and she was gone and I miss her sooooFUCKING MUCH! I'm so sorry, sorry, sorry....."

"I'm so sorry, Amy" Lucas' apologized in a choked sob. He buried his head in his arms, lying back on the bed, retreating into the warm blankets.

Blankets didn't pass judgement.

By now all three spectators to Lucas' very soul were gathered around him, crying for him, crying for Amy, crying for the world's pain. Bridger gathered the sobbing boy in his arms and cried with him, rocking him, being with him. The teen's pain was so deep, so scarring that it would take a lifetime to heal. It would never go away. He knew that firsthand since Carol and Robert still haunted him. He knew their deaths weren't his fault, that nothing could have been done in the end. But it still hurt everyday.

Everyday he could deal, everyday it got a little better, a little more bearable. But he would never stop missing them. Lucas would never forget Amy, and he would never stop hurting. Not with this trauma.

"I never beat her at chess."

"What?"

"Chess. She always won."

Lucas was talking into his arms, but he had calmed down quite a bit.

Bridger pulled his arms away and looked into two saddened blue eyes."Never?"

"Nope."

Bridger smiled a little, impressed by what he heard. "You never beat me either. She must not have learned from you," he joked.

"Yes she did. And she would have beaten you if you ever played against her. She was smart, Captain. Not just above-average, she was a genius. She was like me. I could see it in her eyes." He turned to Krieg, "After you left, when the ship began it's second tour after the refit, I taught her how to play. She caught on in less than an hour, Ben, it was incredible. We played all day, and every night afterwards. I never won. But it...it never bothered me. God, the feeling! I felt so...so proud each time she beat me, and even in public I wasn't embarrased that I, a genius, was being beaten again and again by a four-year-old. I didn't care at all, because I could tell people 'I taught her everything she knows' and see the amazement on their faces. And then they knew that I wans't letting her win. She was for real," he sniffed, "She was my baby.

"Then remember her like that. She was your baby, you loved her, and it was a terrible tragedy, an accident, a horrific situation that took her from you. Lucas, please remember that she doesn't blame you for anything, and you shouldn't blame yourself. Lucas, it wasn't your fault." Bridger finished with a sniffle.

Lucas actually laughed at Bridger's show of emotion, but Bridger just smiled at the sound of recovery. He looked over at Krieg and smiled a silent thanks for coming over and pulling his friend out of his pain. Krieg nodded, then began to laugh as he pointed at Bridger. Westphalen tried to stifle her laughter as she handed Bridger a box of tissues. "You really ought to, em...blow you nose, Nathan," she chuckled. Soon she couldn't hold it in anymore as Bridger honked into the hanky. The room erupted in hysterics as Commander Ford walked in.

"Everything all right in here? How's Lucas?" he looked around, slightly amused, slightly confused.

"Lucas is fine, we're all fine, Commander," Bridger smiled widely, "Everything will be fine.



END

Want more? You know the addy from "Escape"......let me know.