Title: ROCKY HORROR SEAQUEST

Author/pseudonym: KATIRENE (XMP) & PAULA (APB)

Fandom: SEAQUEST (2RD SEASON)

Paring:

Rating:PG-13

Status: NEW FIC

Archive: PLEASE ARCHIVE. WWOMB

E-mail address for feedback: xmp@empire.net

Series/Sequel: ARI ADLER & TREY BARLOW SERIES

Other websites: www.geocities.com/xmp_/timeline.html

Disclaimers: SEAQUEST IS THE PROPERTY OF AMBLIN TELEVISION AND UNIVERSAL TELEVISION AND WAS CREATED BY ROCKNE S. O'BANNON. I DON'T REMEMBER WHO PRODUCED THE MOVIE "ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW" BUT THAT WASN'T ME EITHER. I DON'T OWN ANY OF THE PEOPLE OR CHARACTERS WHO APPEARED ON EITHER OF THE TWO SHOWS, AND I AM NOT DOING THIS FOR ANY MONETARY REMUNERATION, BUT I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR FROM READERS. THAT IS THE ONLY PAYMENT I DESIRE OR REQUIRE. THANK YOU.

Summary: TIM, ARI AND JIM TRICK THEIR CREWMATES INTO DRESSING UP AS CHARACTERS FROM THE MOVIE "ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW" IN ORDER TO WIN A BET.

Warnings: ARI ADLER AND TREY BARLOW ARE ORIGINAL CHARACTERS FROM SEVERAL PREVIOUS SQ STORIES. THESE STORIES CAN BE FOUND AT WWOMB (https://www.squidge.org/~peja ) OR AT THE AUTHORS WEBSITE, http://www.geocities.com/xmp_/timeline.html .

THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW IS RATED PG-13. THERE IS THE STRONG SUGGESTION OF M/M, F/F AND F/M SEX IN THE MOVIE AND THEREFORE IN THIS STORY.



Rocky Horror seaQuest, act 1
by ---katirene (XMP) and Paula (APB)

Trey tugged the rented sequined merry widow up a bit higher, trying vainly to create more cover than was present. "Hey! Ari! Isn't there one in a larger size?" Her dimunitive comrade stepped out from behind the screen in the rental place dressing room wearing another, similar but scantier outfit in black, panties, garterbelt, fishnet stockings and a red feather boa. The brat laughed at her friend, handing over the black jacket that went with the taller woman's costume.

"It's perfect, Trey. Just perfect, I wish I could get away with it. Don't forget the collar in the pocket."

As Trey explored the pockets of the jacket, she observed. "I don't think you can get away with that. Are you sure you want to do this," Trey asked, eyeing her 'innocent' friend dubiously. The garish make up on the other ensign's face was jarringly at odds with her goodie-two-shoes reputation. Gods! Trey should be more at ease with this stuff than the kid was. But Ari was the one who'd made the bet with the other vessel, about getting crewmembers to go to the anniversary showing of the movie in costume. Trey hadn't even realized that The Rocky Horror Picture Show was still being shown. It was old when she was in college.

Ari shrugged her shoulder, then giggled when she popped free on one side. Nonchalantly tucking it back in, she replied, "Why not? It's just good, clean fun. And I've done it before." The older woman stopped and stared from the dog collar she'd just pulled out to her best friend, a good six
years her junior even though they held the same rank, and quintessiently innocent.

"You have?" she questioned in tones of deepest disbelief. "Wearing that outfit?"

"Hmmm, yeah. Whole nine yards," the little one answered absently, leaning forward to peer into the mirror and cleaning up a smeared line on her lip. Trey snorted with amusement. She doubted there was even one yard in that costume. Ari's breasts threatened to slip out again. "Full floor show."

"You can say that again. Ari, that top, ummm, doesn't fit you. And we can get into a lot of trouble with this." Looking back down at the collar she asked in a tone of warning, "And just what do you expect me to do with this?"

Standing back up, she looked down and tugged at the corset, trying in vain to pull it further up. Then she looked into the mirror, at the worried expression on the older woman's face. "Wear it, of course. And how can we get into trouble, huh? What's wrong?"

"If Captain Bridger finds out ... Or even worse, if Commander Ford finds out, we'll find ourselves on report so fast our heads will spin." The aggravating little thing had the audacity to giggle at Trey's warning, covering her mouth with her hand.

"Then we'll just have to make sure they don't find out, then, won't we?" the small ensign finally said, controlling her amusement.

"Yeah," Trey drawled out the word and wrapping the collar around her hand, brass knuckle style. "You better hope that Miguel doesn't find out that you're going out in ... Ummm, you're showing again." Unconcerned, Ari re-adjusted her top and then started rummaging in her bag.

"Hmmm, why?" the small ensign asked, apparently not finding what she expected. "Don't you think he'd like it? Darn, I must have forgotten the glue." She sighed. "I guess I'll have to do without it."

"Like it? Yeah, he'd probably like it. But not with a couple of hundred other guys liking it, too." Trey responded, picking up the gold sequinned top hat and observing the ring of bright disks on the chair. She wondered if that was why Ari was looking for glue.

*=*=*

Across London, in another costume rental shop, Miguel held the bustier up that his best friend had just handed him, an expression of deep consternation and horror on his face. "You've GOT to be kidding!" he told the other man. "There's no WAY I'm going as Frankie. Forget it." Tim was complacently pulling a t-shirt over his head, the rest of his costume laid out on the chair in the costume rental company's changing room. Lowcut jeans, heavy-metal belt, rings, heavy gold necklaces, and a black leather coat. Miguel regarded 'Eddie's' outfit with envy.

"How did you get to be Eddie anyway?" he asked querulously. I've got the better physique for that. Why don't we trade costumes?" There was a troubled note in his voice. Lucas laughed from across the room.

"Because you fit that part even better. We don't have to rent the wig," he crowed triumphantly, pushing up 'Brad's' glasses. He was enjoying Miguel's discomfort. In his opinion, the self-confident sensor chief had too many things going his way. It was good to see something throwing him for a loop, for once. The only thing that could make this even better would be the possibility of Ari seeing her beloved he-man dressed up as the sweet transvestite. Lucas re-adjusted the windowpane glasses. These things could get to be a pain, he thought, wondering how Tim managed it.

"It's not like Brad is such a great character, you know," he continued with false sympathy. Privately, he was thinking that it was too bad the girls had other things to do. They wouldn't even listen when he'd tried to suggest the movie to them. But if he could get Ari or even Lonnie to play Janet to his Brad, that would be great.

"No. I don't know," Miguel responded acerbically. "Look, if you don't want to do Brad, I'll do it. I don't know why did I let you guys talk me into this, anyway," the chief continued his complaints, laying the top down like he wished he'd never seen it. He probably did. "Can't I just go as myself."

"NO!" They both yelled in unison, laughing a little at the plaintive note in his voice. There was a knock at the door and Ford's voice growled through.

"Are you three ready to go yet?"

"Miguel doesn't want to," Lucas yelled back in a sing-song tone, smirking at the sensor chief, who threw a shirt at his head.

"Let me in," the commander ordered. Tim shrugged and opened the door. Miguel goggled. The staid and serious XO was wearing an abbreviated gold tone pair of briefs and blonde wig and nothing in between. "Now, Ortiz, what IS your problem?"

Miguel swallowed heavily. In light of what the officer was wearing, he didn't have much to complain, but even so, he had to try. "These are women's clothes! Under clothes. I can't wear this. I'll look like a fool!"

"You'll look like a couple of hundred other guys there," Ford corrected. "But if you want to forfeit the bet..."

Miguel bit his lip, sneaking a glare at Tim, the author of the bet in question. "No. I'll do it." Sighing heavily, he started to pull off his jeans in order to put on the fishnet stockings. "But if any of you breathe a word of this to Ari, I swear, I'll ..."

"It's too bad we couldn't get her to agree to come," Ford mused aloud, lounging on a fainting couch in a corner of the room. "She'd be a perfect Janet." Then he frowned at Miguel's legs.

"Yeah!" Lucas agreed a beatific smile on his face. "Oh, yeah." His eyes grew dreamy at the thought.

"What's that supposed to mean?" the testy chief asked pushing his face into the boy's. Tim pulled him away as Ford groused, "Ortiz! Couldn't you at least have shaved your legs?"

Ignoring the XO, since they were off duty, Tim soothed his friend, patting him comfortingly on his shoulder as the other man tried to get the corset adjusted around his midrift. "Relax, Miguel. It's not an insult. It's just that Ari does project a certain air of innocence. That's all. Here, let me help you do that up." Soon, all four men were ready to go.

"Hmph!" Miguel grumbled. "Trey give you that much practice with these things?" Laughing, Tim smacked his bare back.

"That's for me to know," he smirked.

"And I'd better not find out," Ford finished with a snort of laughter. Tim gave him a quick startled glance. How do you forget a six foot two, almost naked, very handsome black man wearing a blond wig? Somehow, he'd managed.

*=*=*

With some difficulty, Ari managed to persuade Trey to leave the safety of the changing room and enter the foyer of the ladies area of the costume shop, where Wendy Smith, garbed as Dr. Scott, and Lonnie Henderson, wearing Magenta's maid outfit, were waiting to go to the show. Ari looked them over critically.

"I don't know," she demurred. "Dr. Smith ..."

"Wendy!" the woman corrected her pleasantly but firmly. She was pleased to have been invited to join the group, hoping that it was a sign of increasing trust on the part of the surprisingly reticent, extremely private and self-reliant young woman.

"Wendy," the unadmitted ringleader of the junior officers agreed. "I don't know if the Enterprise will agree to a female Dr. Scott."

"Well, who's fault is that?" Lonnie asked peevishly. "If you were really interested in winning this bet, I think that you should have told the guys about it. We barely have half the cast."

"NO!" Trey answered emphatically, glaring at the petulant beauty. "I agreed to go along with this on the condition that NONE of you tell T... the guys."

"Relax, Trey," Ari assured her, evenly. "Nobody told Tim." What she didn't say was that no one had to tell the communications officer. He, Brody and she had been together when she'd run into a couple of old college friends, now posted on the USN ship, Enterprise. And so, they had been there when her old friends tried to recruit her for Rocky Horror Show almost 50th costume bash.

Tim, bless his soul, had seen how wistful she'd been to refuse. But, having agreed to try an exclusive relationship with Miguel, she knew that the macho Cuban would be hurt if she went off with the others. So, Tim had asked, in the Enterprise hearing, why the seaQuest couldn't do something similar. That had set Steve and his friends laughing because they couldn't image the pride of the UEO doing any such thing. Brody had jumped in to defend the honour of his boat, and ... Before anyone knew quite what had happened, it had happened.

The bet was to show up with the most compleat cast of the movie, and ... This was the interesting part ... the highest ranking officers. Since Ari was sure that Trey would be shy in front of Tim and Tim knew Miguel would rather die than to let Ari see him in any RHPS costume, the three had conspired to bring the deal off. But down inside, she knew that she and communications officers were going to be dead meat before the night was out. Knowing Jim, he'd get off scot-free, even though he'd been the one who'd actually set the deal up.

"Come on," she urged, taking her nervous friend's arm and feeling a little shaky herself, now that it was all going down. "We want to get there early." Besides, she couldn't wait to see how Miguel looked as Frankenfurter. Ari had had a crush on the good doctor since the first time she'd seen the movie.

*=*=*

Captain Nathan Bridger finished adjusting his necktie and picked up the pipe that went with the outfit, sticking it into his mouth at a cocky angle and admiring the effect. Clenching it with his teeth, he turned to Lt. Jim Brody, wearing a claw-tailed black jacket and a thin blonde wig.

"What do you think, Jim?" he asked. The lieutenant nodded approvingly.

"Just fine, sir, except that you've got too much of a neck. And the name's Riff Raff, handy man, extraordinaire." He felt nervous, but exalted. When he, Tim and Ari had decided on this decided sneaky scheme, he hadn't been sure that he could pull off his end of it. Captain Bridger as the narrator? But the very fact that they'd trusted him to persuade the Captain meant a great deal. Sometimes he got the impression that Adler didn't think much of him, in terms of thinking.

"If we hurry, sir, we'll be able to get good seats at the Excelsior for the show."

Still talking with his teeth clenched, Bridger nodded. "Excellent, excellent." Jim had a feeling that he was imitating someone other than the narrator, but wasn't sure who. Taking the pipe from his mouth, the captain continued in a reminescent tone of voice, "You know, the last time I did this, Jim, was before I met Carole. I was still dating Dr. Smith's mother. Hmmm, Sexy Lexy. She made a great Columbia. Did I ever tell you about the time I snuck her out of the women's dorm at Annapolis?"

"Ummm, I'm not sure, sir," Brody responded, taking the older man's arm and almost pulling him toward the door, while surreptiously checking his watch. Ari had the whole thing timed carefully so that they wouldn't all be in the lobby at the same time. And they were already running late.

"I had this friend of mine distract the chaperone, you see..." And Captain Bridger's midshipman stories kept the conversation going during the trek across London to the Excelsior theatre, where a SRO crowd was expected for the pre-50th anniversary, all costume showing of Rocky Horror Picture Show.

*=*=*

Tim peered anxiously around the crowded, excruciatingly loud lobby before ushering his group in. The reserved seats were up near the front, courtesy of Dr. Robert Webster, the marine scientist who was Ari's graduate advisor onboard seaQuest. It turned out that he had close ties with the London university community and he was more than glad to help out. The three conspirators hoped that by getting seats in one of the front rows, they could get everyong assembled without making a scene and without anyone walking out. But, if they met in the lobby...

"Hey, Tim?" Ford called out, interrupting the nervy young man's thought and making him jump, which caused him to bumped into a very overly well-endowed Columbia who turned and glared at him. "When are the others arriving?" Miguel, instantly suspicious, spun around and stood ready to bolt.

"What others?" he asked dangerously, pushing the feathers of his boa out of his way. He yelped and glared at someone behind me. "Keep your hands to yourself, lady!" he ordered huffily. "I may be dressed like this, but that doesn't mean I'm easy."

"Didn't Tim tell you," the commander asked, a little taken aback. "Captain Bridger is coming as the narrator and Jim as Riff Raff. That way, we're a little closer to winning the bet." Tim hadn't told Commander Ford, either. So, he probably heard it from the Captain.

"Captain Bridger as no-neck?" Lucas asked with his eyes wide with glee. "Kewl. I can't wait to see this."

"That's because you and Tim are the only two dressed normally," Miguel grumbled. "If you were wearing ladies' lingerie, I don't think you'd be all that thrilled with the idea." He hadn't even thought of the narrator, or, for that matter, Dr. Everett Scott would have been a better role. He glared at Tim, unnerved and upset and blaming it on the person who'd talked him into this.

"Oh, come on you guys," Tim urged, almost pushing them forward in his anxiety to get them out of sight before his co-conspirator showed up. "Let's find our seats."

"Ok, ok," Ford laughed, allowing himself to be herded. "But what's the rush, O'Neill. The movie doesn't start for another half an hour. And I thought you got reserved seats?"

"I did, but if we don't get to them..." The four men plunged into the dim theatre.

*=*=*

Ari pressed the silent proximity device and surreptiously checked to see where Tim was. Inside the theatre, but inside where? He'd taken the guys to the nearer of the costume shops, where the outfits had already been paid for and waiting. She suppressed a giggle of nerves. Dear Cousin Renee was soooo generous. Another giggle bubbled up, this one popped out, earning her Trey's close scrutiny.

"What are you planning, Irene Adler?" Trey asked sternly. Ari was not a giggler in the ordinary course of things. When she did start, everyone within range would be well advised to take cover.

"Me? Why would I be plotting anything. Look, we've got a good fraction of the cast here, just have to see how many Steve and Rick manage to get." She smiled innocently. Too innocently. Trey gave a bark of laughter as the line moved forward.

"That doesn't work with primary colours painted all over your face, kid. You should have gone with the early Janet." Ari started to shrug, then remembered the loose action of the top and pulled it back up.

"I like this one, and this is the outfit they had. The only other thing was a Jackie O, pink suit and pill box and that's not really Janet." They reached the door and Ari showed her electronic stub to the ticket taker. He nodded and waved them through, opening his mouth to say something. Ari quickly spoke, overriding his words. "Let's get something to drink and then head up to our seats." Dr. Smith gave her a suspicious look as they fought their way to the refreshment counter.

They didn't quite make it to the counter. Before they got there, an incredibly handsome, muscular young man dressed in a gold brief so small as to be almost pornographic swooped down and tossed Ari up into the air.

"Renee, mon petit provacatrice," he crowed. "I thought I saw you there towering above the crowd."

"STEVE! Put me DOWN!" she squealed happily, while her friends exchanged bewildered glances. Trey was appalled to notice that the top had surrendered the fight, and her modest young friend wasn't even noticing the appreciative glances coming her way.

"ARI!" she yelled a warning. The man, obviously Steve from the Enterprise, carefully replaced the ensign on the ground and with familiar hands, pulled her corset up.

"You should have super-glued that, Renee," he said, suppressing a smirk. "You used to know that. Whatsamatter, you forget? Losing your touch?" He leered genially down at her, "Or inviting some touches?" She shook her head smiling back.

"I've got my reasons," she informed him loftily. Now Trey knew why she wanted the glue. Yeah, some reason, she thought sardonically, you forgot to pack it. "Where's Rick?" Ari was asking.

"He's here. In his seat. We got everyone, you know. How about you?" he grinned dangerously down at her, a gambler convinced that he had the winning hand.

"That would be telling. And remember, it isn't only who has a compleat set, but the relative ranks involved." Trey pulled at Ari's arm nervously, away from the man. "I'll talk to you later, ok, Steve?" she called out as she was drawn away from him.

"Yeah, hey. What do you say we try for a floor show of our own. Just like old times." For some reason, that made the scheming ensign blush and she shook her head.

"No, not this time, old friend. See you down in front." She waited until he fought his way free, then turned to the worried older woman. "What's wrong, Trey?"

"We've only got three ensigns and a doctor," she pointed out, her eyes anxious.

"It'll be all right," Ari assured her friend. "Let's go get those drinks..."

"Here we are," Lonnie said, pushing a soda into the small one's hand. "Let's go sit down." Dr. Smith gave her second cup to Trey. Sipping and chatting, Ari trying to get Trey relaxed before they reached the reserved seats, the four women entered the main room.

"So," Dr. Smith asked as they made they're way through the excited costumed chatting crowd. "How do you happen to know this ... 'Steve'?" Ari laughed.

"I spent a couple of summers in classes here in London, and sort of hung out with the local Unconventioneers. Steve was always Rocky..."

"He's sure got the physique for it," Lonnie enthused. Ari laughed again.

"Yeah, and don't he know it," she joked back. "But Steve's from Colorado, so he joined the US of A navy and became a target." She smiled to take the sting out of the old sub slang. They were near their seats now, and Ari noticed the forms already in place. "Trey, why don't you go ahead..." she started to say, but was interrupted by a high pitched scream.

"RENEEE!" A Frankenfurter look-alike swooped down on her, grabbing her in a close embrace and kissing her wildly.

"Rick, calm down. Let me introduce you to my friends." With a sinking heart, she noticed that the guys in the second row, to her left were looking over toward them. With any luck, the lighting too dim for them to make out any details. She gestured toward Trey, "This is ..."

"Your Columbia of course. Enchante." The swishy thin man took Trey's hand and kissed it. "If we were going on looks, Renee, you've got us beat, except, I think I can give you a run for your money." Ari laughed and slapped him. "And a female Doctor Scott, that's... Oh, you beast! This isn't Dr. Smith?" he yelled. A very familiar roar answered him and Ari caught her breath, looking over to spy a very familiar shape standing up and glowering in their direction. She swallowed heavily, and prayed that Miguel really did have the sense of humour that he prided himself on having.

Trey didn't notice the rest of the audience. Looking down at Ari, with a slight whine to her voice, she asked pleadingly, "Can we please do old home week later. I'm out of practice and my feet are killing me in these, Ari."

This didn't bode well for the evening, Ari realized. Trey already petulant, and Miguel was beginning to manuever in their direction. She should have remembered that he also prided himself on recognizing her no matter how she was disguised.

If Hurricane Miguel met up with Typhoon Trey, Tim and Irene would be sunk. She put her flamboyant friend off with a quick, "Later, Rick." Under her breath, as she pulled Trey around slightly, she added, "If i live that long." A little louder, she continued, "Maybe we can get a snack together afterward, the two crews, and compare notes. But I think we'd better head to our seats before someone jumps them." Taking a deep breath, Ari headed towards their seats, seeing Jim and the captain heading down the middle aisle as well. She gave a small sigh of relief. Not even Trey would try murder in the Captain's presence.



Rocky Horror seaQuest, act 2

Tim heard someone yell out "Renee!" and he knew that Ari had finally arrived. That was what the two from the top side ship kept calling her for some reason. Miguel heard it too, and warned by some fey impulse, started to turn, peering into the gloom of the rapidly filling movie theatre to where a shadowy form of a Franky bent over a top-hatted Columbia's hand.

"Ah, Miguel?" Tim said, trying to distract him, "Ahhh, would you change seats with me, I, ahhh, I think I'd be more comfortable there. I've got, umm , a crick in my neck."

"Sure thing, Tim. Man, some of these people are really weird. Did you hear that guy? Hey? It is a guy, isn't it?" It was just bad luck that he was looking in that direction as the costumed character shrieked out "Dr. Smith?" and Columbine moved back, revealing a very small, bright-eyed and excited, and less than half-dressed, "Janet". Miguel stiffened, in more ways than one, and his eyes went wide. "ARI?" he bellowed. He started to exit the row, but Tim stood up and somehow they kept getting in each other's ways.

He froze when he heard the Captain's voice, sounding extremely amused, say, "Well, what is this? Jonathan, I'd worry a great deal more about this getting out in any presidential run than a report of a Neptune sighting." Tim turned to blink down at the XO in his gold lame briefs.

"You're going to run for president, Commander," the comm officer goggled.

His distraction was enough to allow Miguel to get out and grab Ari's wrist, pulling her toward him, but Trey was the one who spoke up, her whine turning angry.

"You bitch.... I mean I'd expect this out of Jim, nasty little mind he has, but you? After all the grief I just went through with Jameson, you rope me in to a situation like this." She took a half step forward, her hands clenched into fists.

"Watch yourself, Barlow," Miguel growled a warning, his masculine protective instincts coming to the forefront at the sight of her anger. "I don't think she did it alone. I know that she's not the one who got ME into this!" Still holding Ari's hand in a grip just short of bone crushing, he turned and glared at Tim O'Neill, just then stepping past to take Trey's hand and try to calm her down.

"Mon Tresu," he crooned the nickname he had suggested and she had agreed to. "Cha'trez. No one here is going to see anything, they're all dressed the same. And look, the Captain's here and Commander Ford. How can this go on anyone's record when there's no one here to record it?"

"And that's supposed to make me feel better," she sniped shrewishly. But she did allow him to pull her toward their row of assigned seats.

"Oh, but after Jameson, you put all the pretty things away and I've missed my vamp," he murmured confidingly, pulling her into a close embrace. "So Ari and I conspired to see if we could bring her back out." He held her out at arms length and looked her over up and down. Pulling her to him again, he whispered into her ear, "And its doing interesting things to me."

She pouted, not at all displeased with the promising glow in his eyes. "This damn thing won't stay up so everytime I take a deep breath I feel like I'm about to expose myself and Ari already has," she felt compelled to complain. On hearing that, both Lucas and Jim gave up the pretense of not eavesdropping and turned around, fixing their gaze on Ari's chest where she stood talking earnestly to Miguel.

He glared back at them, pulling his lady so that she stood with her back to them, not that that was much of an improvement. "Eye's back in your heads, you two!" he ordered sharply. Sheepishly, they complied, but Lucas kept sneaking his eyes around, trying to get a glimpse of something that he'd thought he'd seen on Ari's stomach when she pulled her top up. Something he'd seen many times on a certain demo vid that he'd gotten from a strip club a few weeks back.

Tim and Trey ignored the byplay as he tried to tease her into a better mood, and share his enthusiasm for the treat. "Come on, this is fun....." He took control of her drink while she settled herself down into the seat on the far side of Lucas. She looked up at him from under her lashes, her lips pursed in an adorably sullen way.

"Can I wear your jacket?" Trey wheedled in a kittenish voice. Tim thought of her in leather, and he sat down suddenly, crossing his legs and licking his dry lips.

Catching the mischievous glint in her eyes, his own kindled in reply and he smiled slowly and suggestively before replying. "Ohhh, by all means lets add leather on top of that outfit." He shifted himself again and his voice dropped to an intimate murmur in her ear. "Ahhh, you weren't planning on sleeping tonight, were you?" She blushed, admitting only to herself that his very obvious interest in her appearance was working it's usual magic on her hormones. He added fuel to the fire, with the compliment, "Anyway, have I mentioned that you're the best looking Columbia in the place."

She simpered, then slapped at him. "You mean you've been looking?" she accused playfully. Tim's eyes and mouth grew wide open.

"No! Oh, definitely not! Ummm, are there any other Columbias in the house? Ummm, that is to say ... I hadn't noticed and I would .... ahhhh," As he stumbled over his tongue trying out different defenses, Trey began to giggle at him.

"Ok, ok already. I forgive you." Her face changed. "But I'm still going to get that brat," she told herself quietly.

Having told Jim and Lucas where they could get off, Miguel returned his angry eyes to the source of his discomfort. It would have helped, he thought, if there wasn't so much of her showing. When would she learn? He started to pull her closer, but the other Frankie look-alike interposed himself, suddenly not seeming quite so delicate as he broke Miguel's hold on Ari's wrist and held on to the chief's hand with his own strong grip.

"Oooooh, Renee, dear, now this one is absolutely scrumptious," Rick cooed, and from the sparkle in his expression, it was clear that he was deliberately interferring. "Wherever did you find him?" Rick looked the underdressed chief up and down, effectively stripping him with his eyes of what little the Cuban was wearing.

"Back off, Rick," Ari warned as she reached out to tap the holding hand, breaking the contact, a small smile on her face. Miguel recoiled in distaste from the other man, stepping back as she interposed herself between them. Ari took the chief's arm with a possessive air and declared, "This is the one I'll fight for." It was while she was stepping forward that Miguel finally noticed that her outfit, like the one he had on, were both from the floor show and were surprisingly identical considering that they must have come from different stores. "Besides which, he's a virgin."

"ARI!" now his cri du cour was one of intense embarassment. Both of his tormentors ignored the interruption.

"Oh, how charming," Rick swished. "And you are going to initiate him, aren't you?" He looked Miguel right in the eye and for a moment, the other man grew serious. "I hope you know how lucky you are," he said, his voice suddenly deeper and firmer. With a lackadaisial flip of his wrist and twitch of a hip, he turned and craned at the audience. "Now, I wonder where that dear boy, Rocky, could be? Oh, there he is!" Waving his hand theatrically, he called out, "Oh, Rocky. Come here now." And he left them, sashaying up the steps toward the approaching, gold clad Steve.

Ari watched him leave, giving a small kitten snort of amusement. "How about that, he comes on command." She gazed up at Miguel, the bewitchingly bemused smile still in place.

As Miguel looked down at his small woman, he found it difficult to keep his face grim with the promise of retribution. "Virgin?" he queried ominously, raising one eyebrow.

Ari's smile slipped slightly and she examined his face anxiously, and at that, he couldn't hold it in anymore. A corner of his mouth quirked upward and he started to chuckle.

"You did this!" he accused her. "You got me dressed up like this and ..." Relieved, she raised her arms around his neck with predictable results. "Damn Ari. Why do you keep doing things like this?" he asked torn between laughter and exasperation, trying to shield her from the gaze of others while she tucked herself back in. Lucas settled back in his seat, a smile of satisfaction mixed with regret on his face. Miguel glared at the young man, then transferred it to Ari.

"Because I need someone to watch over me?" she suggested impishly. He snorted and shook his head.

"You really are a brat, aren't you? And, for your information, yes, I have been a theatre performance of Rocky Horror Picture Show even if I've never gone in... in costume before." He tried to work up another glare, but her eyes were twinkling at him so that he knew he'd failed. "Or again!" he added warningly. Ari turned to look at the other victims of the prank.

Catching the look in Trey's eyes, she knew that one day very soon the older woman would conspire with Miguel and both she and Tim would find themselves in the middle of a round of payback.

Tim handed Trey her cup back after taking a drink from it, trying to regain some of his composure. Playing the gentleman, he started to remove his leather 'Eddie' jacket to place over her shoulders, since she'd drawn her legs up to her chin, trying to cover as much of herself as possible, but Miguel leaned over and put out his hand to block the transfer.

"Oh no you don't, O'Neill," he warned laughingly. "Unless you've got enough for those of us that you and your co-conspirator dragged into this, then she stays just as naked as the rest of us." He looked at the others, and noticed Captain Bridger, seated between Wendy Smith and the mostly exposed Commander Ford. The C.O. was beaming approval at him.

Nathan leaned toward his XO and commented genially, "See Jonathan, I told you Ortiz was officer material. He's giving orders like an experienced commissioned officer. I knew that he had it in him."

Trey, still curled up, but beginning to relax against Tim, shot a malicious glance at the ringleader of the prank. With a sly grin, she countered, "You've got that wrong, Capt. It's 'cause he's been taking private orders from Ari for the past month or so."

Ari winced dramatically. "Ouch. That was a low blow, Barlow." Then she flirted her eyes in her beau's direction and gave the other woman a positively evil smirk, "And it shows how much you know." She flounced down amid a chorus of "ooohhh'ss" and "Do tell."

Captain Bridger leaned over and asked in a dry, amused tone of voice, "Have you been indulging in a course of officer training without permission, Ensign?" Ford was giving her a hard look, this conversation was setting off his professional alarums.

"Adler..." he started to say, then stopped as the oversized, magnificently proportioned, Rocky-clad Steve leaned over and handed the small officer a small tube with a dramatic flourish. Ford's eyebrows shot up as he conjectured as to the contents of the tube.

"Here," he said too low even for Lucas, seated beyond Miguel, to hear. He gave her an intimate smile. "This might help with that little problem of yours." Lonnie, craning her head to see what was going on over the bodies of most of her friends, noticed that at that angle, the tall muscle man could look right down the other ensign's cleavage. It appeared to occur to Miguel as well, because he stood up and stepped forward, forcing the other man back. Ari's face dropped with dramatic hurt.

"Little problem?" she echoed, plaintively. "And you used to tell me..." Remembering who was beside her, Ari stopped mid-spate and gave Miguel a cautious glance. Miguel, standing beside Steve contentiously, seemed about as slight in build compared to her old friend as Tim did compared to him.

"Tell you what, Ari?" Lonnie yelled out in delight. The sensor chief, eyeing the intruder with an air of calculation, ignored the question.

"Who is this, Ari?" he asked almost belligerantly over his shoulder.

"An old college friend, Miguelito. He's one of the ones from the Enterprise with whom we have the bet."

"Nice way to put it, mon petit," Steve complimented her mockingly, eyeing the others, his gaze lingering approvingly on Lonnie, who simpered back at him but by the time she reacted his eyes had already moved on to examine Ford with the same degree of interest. "So, she suckered you all in. Good for her. What kind of hand do you have?" he asked, easily bypassing Miguel's blocking attempts to sit on the arm of Ari's chair.

Ari eagerly opened her mouth to tell him, but caught sight of Miguel's stormy expression and argumentive stance. "Ummm, can we talk about this later, Steve?" she asked, uncomfortably aware that she had a lot to explain, but she did want to get her treat before she paid for it. "The movie will begin soon enough, you know." Having remedied her previous lack, Ari handed the stickitive back to the ersatz Rocky. He winked at Lucas, who in spite of all his interest and the neck strain he'd given himself from craning his head around, hadn't been able to figure out what she'd been doing with the tube.

"Sure thing, Renee. Don't forget, though, you promised me a dinner before you sail." He stood up and leaned over her to nod confidentially at Lucas, separated from Ari by an empty seat. "They are worth keeping an eye on, aren't they," he said, and the youth blushed a bright red, while Miguel did a slow boil. Pulling back, Steve swooped down suddenly, giving the petite ensign a hearty kiss to the cheek, then smiled smugly at Miguel and pressed past him, toward his own place on the row across the aisle, brushing his body against the sensor chief's as he did so. Ari closed her eyes in exasperation as Miguel, an expression of shock on his face, jumped and turned to keep facing the flamboyant muscle man. She knew Steve's predilictions all too well. But her old friend wasn't finished yet.

Leaning across the aisle, he added with a salacious wiggle of his eyebrows, "AND, the Time Warp too." Miguel didn't take his eyes off the other man. Moving suddenly, giving no clue as to his intentions, he picked Ari bodily up out of the last seat in the row and replaced her in the next one over, next to Lucas, taking her original seat for himself. The sight of him, dressed as Frankie with full face paint, scowling with masculine possessive challenge at the almost nude "Rocky", combined with her nervousness, caused Ari to start giggling. As he turned his frown on her, she swallowed her laughter with difficulty.

"You have a lot to explain, Adler!" he threatened as the theatre went black.


Rocky Horror seaQuest, act 3

Trey snuggled down, feeling a lot better with Tim's arm wrapped around her. She glared toward the end of the row as the little light available began to dim. "I can't believe she did this to me!" she complained. "Ari knows the trouble I got into with Jameson. Why did she set me up like this?"

Tim nuzzled his lady's ear. "Actually," he confessed, "Ari wanted to be Columbia, and let Lonnie play Janet. She was planning on having you dress up in the maid's costume. But I talked her out of it." He paused and Trey sighed as his lips made tracks on her neck. Pulling back, he continued in the expectant dark of the crowded theatre. "I always wanted to play Eddie," he confessed. "but the only times I ever did this, they stuck me playing Brad."

"I ... don't understand," Trey replied, feeling lost. "You wanted me dress like this? How could you, Tim?" She felt betrayed.

"What are you worried about?" he countered, taking advantage of the darkness before the movie started to check that her top fit better than Ari's did. "The brass finding out? Who's the one likely to make the biggest stink?" There was a pause for Trey to answer, a pause she didn't fill. "Ford, right? Well look at Jon. He's wearing less than any of us." Reluctantly, Trey nodded. Then the words "Twentieth Century Fox presents" appeared on the screen prompting a chant of "Lips Lips Lips Lips" from the audience, and a cheer when they appeared. Tim's lips brushed her ear again and he advised in a low voice, "Just sit back and enjoy it. Ari's taken care of everything."

With a small sigh and a wiggle further into his arms, she settled down to do just that. She noticed some kind of late arrivals heading toward the front, and then recognized them as the local floor show, caucusing in. They paused beside the seaQuest row and seemed to be taking a head count while the lips sang about Flash Gordon in his silver (stained) underwear and Fay Wray and her interesting romantic encounter. One of them, not in costume but he seemed to be in charge, started looking around and seemed to be looking at someone in the seaQuest crew row.

With a sigh of inevitability, Trey noticed him heading toward Ari and Miguel, squatting down beside the two of them and talking earnestly.

Her curosity getting the better of her, Trey disentangled herself from Tim's arm and craned her head to listen to what was being said. It was immediately fascinating, with Ari declaiming, "NO! You don't understand! He's a virgin!" and Lucas exclaiming in deeply embarrassed and outraged reply, "NO I'm NOT!" Trey had wondered about that.

Ari twisted in her seat toward her friend, almost a brother. "Lucas, I didn't mean THAT! But, this is your first time doing this. You wouldn't know what..."

"I've seen it lots of times," he insisted hotly, insulted to the core that she thought his so inexperienced. "Rocky Horror was one of Ben's favorited vids."

"But this isn't a vid," she countered. "And experiencing it in a theatre is a whole different ballgame."

Laughing, Trey resumed her position against Tim's arm. "It seems that the Brad who was supposed to do the floor show isn't here," she whispered to him, laughing at the situation. "And they're trying to draft poor Lucas. Ari's trying to talk him out of it, but she blew it. Ooh, this should be good. He's so pissed now that Ari called him a virgin, he'd do anything just to prove he isn't." She laughed with knowing malice. "Funniest thing is, it's the pot, kettle kinda thing in the normal sense."

Tim gave her a close, concerned look. "Trey, I don't think Lucas will play Brad, he knows..." And she interupted him, laughing and trying to cover it with her hand.

"Yeah, but he's never seen a floor show before," she chortled. "And he's going to be a real sulky baby after this if they make too big a fool out of him."

"Ummm, you know about Rocky Horror floor shows?" he asked tentatively. From her reactions to the costume, Tim had been wondering if she understood what was going on. "You've seen this ... I mean, in a theatre?" Trey nodded, a little smile on her face, and he realized that the memory was a good one from her life before. She didn't seem to have many of those, and he was glad to find another.

"OHH yeah," she sighed happily. "I didn't get a lot of Saturday night dates. I wasn't in the category of "girls you take out on dates". And the midnight show was a place that I could relax and watch and just be me once in a while. But never in costume and always in a dark corner so that I was less likly to be spotted."

Lucas stood up and crossed over in front of Ari and Miguel, fuming at the way she'd just embarassed him in front of everyone. He wasn't a virgin, not any more, although he didn't boast about it like some people. He glared at Ari as the rather plump Columbia led him away, telling him just to go along with the action, and if he got lost, just look toward her and she'd cue him. He and Ben had watched this movie several times, two-three times at least. He'd be fine.

But when it came time to actually stand up in front of everyone and hear them all yelling "Asshole!" at him, he realized Ari was right. It wasn't the same thing. He could hear the song, and kept sneaking peeks at the screen, but everytime he stumbled or flubbed up, he felt worse and worse. Finally, the Criminologist was up on the screen and Lucas thought he could relax, and think about what the next scene was.

Ari watched Lucas performing in the floor show, feeling a little sad that she wasn't up there, too. He wasn't doing too badly for a virgin who'd only been into heavy petting. A few minor mess-ups, but he looked good for Brad. Miguel stretched his arm over her and she snuggled into it.

"Not too upset with me, are you?" she checked.

"Hmmm, I think that this says it best," he answered, nodding his head at the screen. Ari turned to look upward as the audience chanted "WAIT TIL TONIGHT. SHE GOT HERS, NOW HE'LL GET HIS!" She pulled away and sat up straight again while Miguel grinned evilly.

Lonnie thought that Lucas had done a great job as Brad Majors in the opening scene, but she couldn't wait for the next one. Shaking out her paper, she settled it and the watergun into her lap in anticipation. Someone stood up and announced, "FOR THOSE OF YOU ON ACID, YES. THE SCREEN DID MELT." He stood up a little while later to lead them "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! THIS IS THE PART OF THE MOVIE WHERE WE IMITATE WINDSHIELD WIPERS! ARMS UP! LEFT, RIGHT, LEFT, RIGHT. FOR THOSE OF YOU ON SPEED: LEFTRIGHTLEFTRIGHT LEFTRIGHT. FOR THOSE OF YOU ON COCAINE: BLOW YOUR NOSE. FOR THOSE OF YOU ON ACID: RED, ORANGE, YELLOW, GREEN, BLUE. FOR THOSE OF YOU ON CRACK:" he clapped his hands together. "FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE DYSLEXIC:" he crossed his arms while saying, "LEFT, RIGHT, LEFT RIGHT. FOR THOSE OF YOU ALREADY HORNY;" his hand made a pumping motion. "IN, OUT, IN, OUT. THANK YOU!" he sat back down.

Now, Janet was eating her chocolate and most people yelled, "HEY! SHE NEVER SWALLOWS. IT'S MONICA LEWINSKY!" Lonnie wondered briefly who that was, but forgot it the next moment. It was almost time. Now, Janet was out of the car and ... "GET AN UMBRELLA, CHEAPSKATE!" Lonnie screamed with the others and she began to spraying water into the air. Then she had a better idea.

Taking careful aim, she got Commander Ford dead to rights in the ear, and by the time he looked around, she was innocently shooting upward again. He saw Ari looking toward the stage and shot a stream of water at her, splashing Trey a little. Ari turned around and caught him at it, along with a stream of water on her chest. Before she could get him back, though, Miguel jerked her arm up, sending the liquid harmlessly into the air. Lonnie tried to suppress the grin, but Jim saw it.

"I saw what you did," he whispered gleefully in her ear. Lonnie just laughed at him.

Captain Bridger also saw Lonnie shoot his XO, but decided that all was fair in love and Rocky Horror. He looked over at Barlow, a little worried about her reactions to the surprise, but she seemed to be relaxing now. Then it was time for the Criminologist to reappear on the screen. "HERE ARE THE INSTRUCTIONS! DO IT!" To Bridger's surprise, almost his entire row cleared out into the aisle, with Ari pulling Miguel out by force. He had time to wonder if he should join them when a strange Magenta grabbed him by the lapels. "Hey, No-Neck!" she crowed, "Get up and dance!" And then he was in front of the theatre, leading the audience in doing the Time Warp, the floor show Criminologist up on the stage above him.

He sang along with the song, "It's just a jump to the left, and then a step to the riiiiight. Put your hands on your hips, and pull your knees in tight, but it's the pelvic thru-ust, that drives you insa-a-a-ane. Let's do the Time warp again. Let's do the Time Warp again."

When Ari had led the exodus into the aisles, Tim made sure that he was the Transylvanian behind Trey and purposefully mistimed his thrusts to connect with her ass. The first time, she jerked around looking insulted, but seeing her man there, she relaxed and smiles, going along with the action with enthusiasm. When the Criminologist called out, "and hands on hips" Tim grabbed Trey's on her hip, synching their thrusts and causing her to start her giggling and playing along. He gave a small sigh. This was going to work out.

He and Ari had discussed including Trey in the bet, worrying about how the gun shy ensign would react. There was a lot of debate on who could dress in what role, which Brody joined in fervently on the female parts. He had really wanted Trey to be Janet. Finally, the two of them had concluded that Trey would either kill Ari, or she would have fun. It still seemed cowardly to let Ari bear the brunt of the guilt, but she had assured him that even if he confessed all, Trey would want believe Ari had talked him into it.

As the dancers collapsed on the floor at the conclusion of the song, Trey deliberately fell on of Tim. She knew that in the mass of bodies, it was unlikely that either of the line officers would be able to tell who was who on the slightly sticky floor. She pinned him down, kissing him in a way designed to pay him back for his part in the situation, by giving him something to distract him from the movie, and moving her hips in promise of later pleasures.

All around them, the audience was yelling up at the screen, "Say something stupid so we can all get up off the floor." Right on cue, Brad obliged, saying inanely, "Say, any of you folks know how to Madison?" Trey carefully disengaged herself and got to her knees as the others approved of his choice, assuring the giant image, "That was stupid."

Tim held Trey back until after the others had gotten back into the seats, surreptiously paying her back for her flagrant caresses on the floor before taking the two on the opposited end of the row from Miguel and Ari. And the elevator slooooowwlllyy desended with their host for the evening entering..... Janet screamed at the first sight of the fascinating doctor.

Miguel looked down at Ari's face as Frankie spoke, "How'd you do, I ... see you've met my ... faithful .. Handyman..." He had to admit to himself that doing the Time Warp had been fun, especially the ending swoon. It was funny, when he'd seen the movie vid back at the boat, it had seemed rather boring, but here, with everyone joining it, it was great. Ari passed him a couple of pieces of candy and he nodded thanks, starting to unwrap one. She slapped him and nodded at the screen. For a moment he just stared at her, then shrugged and re-wrapped it, probably another part of the arcane ritual. He looked down at her sideways.

This was a surprise, the way she was getting into this whole thing. She'd been acting rather odd since she got back from the Caicos, sweet and efficient as usual, but quirky, more unpredictable than usual. And then, the whole JAG thing with Trey. Miguel had gone to New Cape Quest with them, to visit family, but Ari had refused to even consider going with him. And they'd fought about that.

Ari looked up at him and smiled, reaching up to pull his head down for a passionate kiss. As she turned her attention eagerly back toward the movie, throwing the candy, Miguel reflected that there were some aspects of the difference that he didn't mind at all.

Trey sat back, letting the the rest throw lines at the screen, but she took advange of Columbia's line "bite!" to nip a suprised Tim's neck. Her contortions almost gave the deeply interested Jim and Jon the peep show that they were hoping, as Trey's overabundant bust strained against the tight, restraining fabric. But it held.

Miguel smiled at the other men's disappointment, but it reminded him of Lucas, earlier. He glanced over at the stage, and then leaned down, to whisper in Ari's ear. "Do you suppose that Lucas has remembered what happens next?"

Looking up at the raised stage, to where the crewmember in question was standing, holding onto the arm of 'Janet' and trying to project confusion, fear and uncertainty, and doing an extremely good job of it since he was probably experiencing every one of them, Ari nodded. "He remembers," she replied, her voice soft with sympathy and barely controlled amusement. "Poor kid. I remember my first time up there."

"As Janet?" she nodded, barely listening. "You'll have to tell me about that, sometime. I'm starting to think that I don't really know you."

Her reply was distinctly uncomforting. "You don't." Then she yelled up to the screen, along with the rest of the audience, almost bouncing in her eagerness, "SAY IT!"

Trey glared at the two officers, now pretending to be too engrossed in the movie and floor show to see anything els. Readusting everything back in to place, she watched as both Brad's, the one up on the screen and Lucas, were handed towels. Then Riff Raff and Magenta start to undress them with the crowd intoning "HERE, LEMME TAKE YOUR COAT, AND YOUR DRESS, AND YOUR PANTS, AND YOUR WALLET, AND YOUR VIRGINITY AND ANYTHING ELSE WE CAN GET OUR HANDS ON." Her mind flashing on the next bit, the elder ensign got a wicked idea.

But Trey wasn't the only one making potentially embarassing plans. Jim, sitting right next to her, had some ideas of his own. So, just before Trey leaned forward to say Colombia's next line, Jim looked directly at his crew mate and asked with the others, "Hey Columbia, how do you give a blow job?" Before the words registered in her mind, Trey screamed "Slowly, slowly! It's too nice a job to rush." toward the unknown people undressing Lucas down to his rather suprising black silk boxers rather than the traditional white briefs of the usual Brad. Then she looked at Jim and turned a bright shade of red. He grinned smugly.

Lucas had forgotten that Brad spent most of the movie in just his underwear. He tried to comfort himself that he was probably better covered than when he was in swimming trunks, but the way that friend of Ari's was looking at him didn't do his self-possession any good. When Magenta put her arms around him and started unzipping his pants he just swallowed hard crossed his arms and stared out into the space above the audience. Just as he was convincing himself that it wasn't too bad, his friends wouldn't tease him too much about this, the woman slipped her hand inside and gave him a very personal caress, and, to add insult to injury, Trey's voice clearly cut through everyone else, with a remark that seemed to egg the stranger on. He focused on the rough edged ensign, but she wasn't even looking at him, having turned to her line officer beside her, and smacking him up beside his grinning head, setting off a rather juvenile slap fight between her and Jim that took Wendy and Tim some time to break up.

Ari's head snapped over when she heard Trey yell Columbia's line to the stage, and she glared at her friend before slipping down in her seat. Puzzled, Miguel bent over, enjoying the view the position offered.

"What are you doing?" he hissed at her.

"I can't watch this," she answered, wincing. "Lucas has to be writhing with embarassment. How could she do that to him?"

"Lucas is having the time of his life," he contradicted, reaching down to grab her arms. "Now get up. Besides, you set this whole thing up to get us, there's NO way I'm going to let you wiggle out of it." He had a moment's warning from her expression, then Ari's arms fastened around his neck and she plopped herself in his lap, whispering, "Like this?"

But the laugh was on her as he quickly circled her waist with his arms and locked his hands together. "Exactly," he smirked, leaning back to enjoy the show. After a moment's pause, Ari shrugged and leaned against his chest, her attention carefully on the screen and not the floor show.

Lucas hadn't thought that he could feel more miserable. At least he could wear the lab coat for a while, that would help. But as he looked out into the second row, he saw Ari very intimately ensconced in Miguel's lap, both of them looking as if they wished they were in the back row. He knew who had set this night up, and who was responsible, and she wasn't even watching.

Looking over at his attractive co-star, he had a sudden wonder about costume changes. Perhaps there was a way he could get some revenge out of this. As he went through the pantomime of anger, he tried to suppress a little anticipatory smile. You better watch out, Ari Adler.

Lonnie was watching Lucas's performance with a great deal of interest. When Frankie gave him the once over and declared him to be a "perfect specimen of manhood", she giggled nervously and glanced over at Commander Ford. To her increasingly unsettled state of mind, he was looking back at her, the expression on his face one difficult to read, but it made her wish that she had insisted on one of the other roles. At the time ... Well, Magenta had seemed less likely to cause future problems. She gave him a slow, smile as she considered what she had in reserve. When she'd found it part of the costume, she hadn't been too sure of it, but now... Now, maybe she would. Jon smiled back and licked his lips, a gesture that caused Lonnie to cross her legs suddenly and look away in confusion.

She turned back to the real action in time to join in with the Star Trek patter. Frankie announced, "And that's how I discovered the secret, that elusive ingredient..." Lonnie leaned forward to join in with the question, "WHO'S YOUR FAVORITE STAR-TREK CHARACTER?" and he answered, "that spark."

This was her favorite part. The trick was to say it quickly to get as much in as possible. The crowd tried. "SPOCK? BUT KIRK GETS THE GIRL. AND SPOCK GETS KIRK. MCCOY'S MINE, HE'S BONES. DATA'S FULLY FUNCTIONAL. BUT OHURA SAYS IT ALL. ODO'S FORM-FITTING. BUT WORF IS RIBBED FOR PLEASURE." That was as far as they got before the doctor got to the next line and Lonnie settled back down, satisfied with the results.

Jonathan leaned over and touched her shoulder. "You really know this stuff, don't you," he marveled.

She turned quickly, pleased that he had noticed and wanting to continue the contact. As her bright, excited eyes flashed at him, Jonathan Ford found himself wishing that there was a bit more to this costume. He was finding it harder and harder. To remind himself that Henderson was an officer in his command, and not just a beautiful, attractive, desirable young woman, he meant. "You didn't do so badly yourself," she pointed out. His attention focused on her lip, full, red, glistening with invitation.

"Hmmm, well, yeah," he stumbled, looking around to distract himself from the temptation. The sight of Adler comfortably ensconced in Miguel's lap caught his attention and he nodded over to the two on that end of the row. "I still cant' believe that Adler set us all up this way. It isn't like her." Lonnie giggled, and shook her head.

"I don't know," she demurred. "She's been a bit ... impulsive since she got back from the Caicos. But I think she's going to get some grief from this little prank. Look at Lucas." Ford turned his attention to the stage show. A thoughtful frown on his face, he nodded slowly, as a smile flowed across his face. They were doing "The Sword of Damocles" and Rocky was running around the stage with Frankie in close pursuit. Because he wasn't the focus of attention, Lucas was watching Ari and Miguel instead of the chase, and it was clear from the expression on his face that he intended to get some of his own back.

"I think you may well be right, Henderson," Ford agreed.

Ari looked over to see the commander watching them and she wiggled in Miguel's lap, pushing against his restraining arms. "Let me go," she whispered urgently. "Ford's got his eye on us."

"Then lets give him something to see," Miguel answered unsympathetically, squeezing her tighter and turning her face toward him for a long, passionate kiss that left her gasping and clinging to him weakly. "That's better. Still want loose, cara mia?" She swallowed, eyes closed, took a deep breath, which the hot-blooded Cuban much enjoyed, and then, to his disappointment, nodded her head. With a shrug, he let her take her own seat again.

As Ari settled down, she looked up to the floor show, as Janet denied any interest in muscular men. Miguel leaned over, and murmured in her ear, "I remember you saying something like that. Still feel that way." To his pleasure, she blushed and shook her head, and he laughed with delight before sitting back and shaking his head in wonder.

He didn't understand her at all. On the one hand, she could walk in public wearing that, and didn't even seem too upset when she exposed herself, and on the other, she was still able to blush such an attractive shade of red. He looked at her a little suspiciously, wondering if she was somehow faking the colour.

Ari was aware of Miguel's scrutiny, but she was watching Lucas closely. He had turned away just as she looked up at him, but there had been something in the expression that she'd surprised on his face, that gave her cause to worry. With a troubled sigh, she crossed her arms over her chest, concerned that he wasn't enjoying himself because of something she hadn't been able to prevent. Ari looked around at the audience, glancing over Miguel to the Enterprise crew, who had led most of the Star Trek Patter call and response. Their Brad was ok, not as good as Lucas, but ... She started to stand up, to go over to them, but Miguel grabbed her arm.

"What are you doing?" he hissed suspiciously.

With a nod to the other group, she replied, "Try to get Lucas out this. He shouldn't be up there."

"Lucas brought this on himself," Miguel reminded her pointedly. "He's not a little boy and you aren't his mother."

"But..."

"But nothing. Now sit down and enjoy the show." Resentfully, regretfully, Ari did as ordered. Miguel had some kind of blind spot when it came to Lucas. But he'd been right before and ... Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of Trey yelled out, in unison with the screen Columbia "EDDIE!"

Trey watched both the screen and the group below it carefully, hoping that she remembered her timing correctly. As the vault opened, she screetched out "EDDIE!" in concert with Columbia. Tim winced away a little. But as much as he valued his hearing, and knew that he would regret this outing over the next few days, he thought that it was worth it to see the gleam of pure happiness in Treysa's eyes.

He joined in with the chant "CHECKLIST! KICKSTART: CHECK. GOGGLES: CHECK. HELMET: CHECK. ATTITUDE: CHECK", then leaned over, warning Jim off with his expression as he put his lips next to Trey's ear.

"What ever happened to Saturday night, when you dressed up sharp and you felt so right." Jim had taken the hint and was paying attention to the floor show again, his attention on Lucas, a nasty grin on his face. Tim emphasized the last phrase with a quick squeeze, elicting a surprised and delighted squeek. Brody started to look back over, but Tim reached out his long arm and pushed the tactical officer's shoulder. Surprisingly, that was enough, and he went back to watching the screen.

Watching Columbia look on adoringly at her Eddie, Trey carefully turned in her seat to give her version the same big puppy eyes and whispered, "Gee is that what you want? Me to sit adoringly off on one side, while you check out everyone else?"

"Somehow I feel that would never happen and anyway,' Tim answered. He wished that they were in the back row, much darker there than down in front where the screen was. But no one was paying any attention at the moment, so, feeling daring, Tim pulled her in to his lap to do a seated version of the dancing the couple on the screen. He used Eddie's scarf to wrap around her waist and brought her close to his chest in an effort to stop any accidents from happening.

When Eddie started blowing on his sax, Tim fixed his lips on Trey's, then began nibbling gently her neck. Seeing as she didn't protest this, he became bolder in his attentions, forgetting where they were until Trey whispered happily, "What he said." Tim raised his head and looked around, lost and not sure of where the movie was anymore. He gave Trey a questioning look and she answered a little seriously, "I really am yours." With a grin, as if ashamed of her intensity, she joked, "But no baby pink lipstick, its not good with my coloring."

"OH, I don't know," he drawled, remember a few incidents. "You look good all flushed and pink."

"That the only pink you like?" Trey asked, a bit of her middleclass upbringing floating to the surface again. And having gotten her timing back with the dialogue, she reached down and goosed him intimately just as the speakers issued WOO so his surprised yelp was lost on the rest of their group. With a merry giggle she added, "I didn't think that was a gun." In retailiation, Tim began to tickle her, delighting in all the exposed flesh available.

Whether it was his earlier attentions, or the result of her gyrations while he tortured her, Tim wasn't sure, but as soon as Trey's top tried to emulate Ari's, he pulled her toward him, not quickly enough from the look on her boss's face. Taking a deep breath, Trey accused without acrimony, "Damn you, Tim. I think you've been trying to do that all night."

He glared over her shoulder at Jim Brody, who was grinning in a "cat eat bird" fashion while turning forward again. That was one officer who was paying just a little too much attention to his lady, he thought as he helped her to fix her top back in place and retake her own seat.

As Frankie finished killing Eddie, Tim draped his arm over Trey's shoulders, a satisfied little smile on his face. An hour ago, popping out like that would have sent off rockets. But now she seemed to have forgotten about military protocol and just accept everyone here as friends. Of course, Ari's nonchalance about her accident probably helped somewhat. He peeked over the backs of the others, trying to catch sight of his main co-conspirator, but Trey reached up and forced his head back around. With a shrug and a crooked grin, he squeezed her slightly and slipped down to enjoy the show.


Rocky Horror seaQuest, act 4

Ari was singing softly along with the closing chorus of "I can make you a man". Turning her torso toward the aisle, she sang Janet's part directly at Miguel, answering his earlier comment, "I'm a muscle fa-a-an." He smiled and gathered her close for the wedding march.

"And mine had better be the only ones you're noticing," he warned, laughing. She crossed her eyes and stuck out her tongue.

Nathan Bridger looked over at the cooing twosome, an indulgent expression on his face. Jonathan was right, they were getting a little careless about open expressions of affection. He looked down at the masculine-dressed, but oh, so very feminine Dr. Smith, remembering how her mother had looked, so many years ago. With a sigh, he looked back up, where the stage crew had rolled on a mock bed.

Wendy heard the sigh, and felt Nathan's regret at the difference in their ages. It didn't really matter, but he didn't seem to understand that. She tapped his shoulder, getting his attention.

"Hmmm?"

"Just wondering if you're enjoying the show?" she asked. Actually, she just wanted an excuse to touch him. Ok, so he was a little older than she was. Well, maybe a lot older. But he was an exciting and attractive man, and she wasn't the only one of the crew to notice it.

"Which one?" he countered, removing the pipe and pointing, in turn to the movie, the floor show, Ari and Miguel, still cuddling together, and Tim and Trey, flushed and pleased with the success of their Hot Patootie horseplay.

"All of them," she smirked back. He smiled affectionately back.

"Yeah. Yeah I am. But I have to tell you, and if you repeat it to anyone, I'll deny I ever said this, but the whole thing is worth it just for that." And he nodded toward his XO. His staid, stuffy, regulation bound, upright executive officer, wearing next to nothing and relaxing while trading bantering remarks with the pretty young junior beside him. Wendy followed his nod with her eyes and nodded, a small smile on her face.

"I can't believe she pulled it off," she remarked. Bridger shook his head.

"Why are we all assuming that Adler is at the bottom of this?" he groused. "The person who invited me was Brody." She made a sound of reluctant agreement, then replied, "But, whenever something's happening, she usually is involved." He snorted amusement, and nodded his head.

Commander Ford caught sight of the Captain looking at him and groaned with dismay. "He's right, you know, Henderson. This is going to ruin me. And the worst of it is ... I've got no one to blame but myself. I heard Tim trying to talk Miguel into this and invited myself." He covered his eyes
with one hand.

"Awwww, you big poor thing," she murmured in mock sympathy. "And I do have another name, you know." He looked up in surprise.

"Really? I hadn't heard... Oh, wait a minute. Of course, ensign." He smiled at her evilly and she nudged him with her elbow, hard.

"Shhh, I want to watch the show." On the stage, the props people were changing the light color filter on the four-poster bed from red to blue. Ari closed her eyes, wincing and turning away.

"I shouldn't have let him do this. I shouldn't have let him do this," she was saying quietly to herself. Miguel chuckled with unsympathetic amusement. He still hadn't forgiven the young genius for groping his girl in a drunken stupour, even though Ari didn't think much of the event. This was good.

"HUSH!" she unexpectedly hissed at him, her eyes flashing angrily. He gave her a surprised, hurt look.

Lucas groaned softly as he took his place on the bed. He had forgotten about this totally. How could he have? The other man crawled on the bed and whispered, "It's ok. All you have to do is pull off the wig. The curtain's there so that they can't really see us. You know, you're doing a great job, don't you?"

"Uhh, thanks. This is really weird."

"Yeah." Lucas could hear the sincerity in the guy's voice, and it did make him feel a little better, then he heard Miguel's parade ground bellow, reminding him about the wig. "Just pull it off," the guy directed, "Now." He mugged up his reaction, in time with the screen image behind them.

"Why? The whole idea is to enjoy yourself." To show her he fully intended to join in, he yelled loudly at the actors, "DON'T MESS WITH THE HAIR" as the wig was pulled off and Frankie threw his head up. "NO WONDER YOU GOT LOST, NEITHER ONE OF YOU TAKES DIRECTIONS!"

"Miguel!" Ari pleaded with him. "You're just making it worse."

"Worse for who, querida? Lucas? Or you?" From the evil smile on his face, Ari realized that the answer didn't matter in the least. He intended to milk the situation for every bit of grief that he could. She huffed and turned away from the big rat, showing him her shoulder.

Lucas heard the sensor chief's bellow clearly and gave a heartfelt groan. "Don't worry about them," Frank advised. "Most of the audience are green with envy because you got picked. That's one of the reasons they're being so vocal tonight."

"No, those are my friends," Lucas confessed, adding bitterly, "Supposed friends. I wish there was something I could do to show my appreciation
for this. Especially the two on the end." Frankie snuck a look through the curtain.

"You mean the two who've been cuddling all through the movie?"

"Yeah. She set this whole thing up, including me up here." Frankie got a nasty smile on his face.

"Want us to help you get them back?" Must have been contagious, 'cause Lucas could feel the same wolfish expression creeping across his own as he nodded.

"I'd been thinking about that," he whispered back. "I don't know if you guys have the floor show costumes..."

"Of course we do," was the indignant reply.

"Well, yeah, I guess I should have known," Lucas back-pedaled, "But I KNOW that Ari would love to get up here and I know that her boyfriend would have a fit if she flashed her breasts at the whole audience."

Frankie sounded very intrigued as he worked his way down Lucas's body. "She's a flasher?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah." And Lucas laughed evilly at the thought.

"Great! I'll get it set up." Frankie answered. Lucas realized that it didn't matter whether Miguel agreed to act in the floor show or not, there was a pretty good chance Ari would. At best, the disagreement might get the two of them flaring up in one of their spectacular fights. He smiled, forgetting his embarassment in the memory of how Ari had exposed herself earlier, and the anticipation of seeing her do it again in front of everyone. If a simple hug could do that much, what would "Wild and Untamed Thing" accomplish? He suddenly realized that the guy's face was
very close to his crotch and froze, wondering if the man would actually... He groaned, as the man grabbed his legs and pulled them up, writhing with the thought of what Brody would say about this and very glad Piccolo wasn't here.

"Hold still!" the man hissed.

Jim Brody was having the time of his life. He and the Captain were both decently dressed, the Captain was enjoying himself, and everyone was putting the blame for the trick directly on the delicately exposed shoulders of bossy little ensign Adler. He grinned happily, unable to believe how much she actually had accomplished.

And the amazing thing was, when her two friends had offered the challenge, she had turned them down. It had taken Jim to accept and get her involved. For a while there, it looked as though he'd have to put up with Trey wearing the drab maid's dress, he remembered giving the woman a lascivious sideways leer. But Lonnie wasn't doing too bad a job filling it out, he granted with an approving look in that direction. He frowned a little at the sight, suddenly realizing that each of the four women with the group seemed securely attached to some other guy's side.

That wasn't right. Ok, so he expected Adler to be guarded by her muscle-bound side-kick, Miguel, and what the mutual attraction was there, he couldn't figure out. That girl was just too independent, unpredictable and explosive for Jim Brody. But, he frowned a little more before his expression cleared, it might be fun to tame her at that and bring her to heel. Sitting up straight, he looked over toward the end of the row, noticing how Miguel seemed to be lording it over the little ensign tonight. He licked his lips, realizing that he very much wished he were in the sensor chief's shoes, high-heels though they were.

And Trey and Tim was a predictable match up, although what a hot-blooded, full bodied woman like Barlow wanted with such a weedy, bloodless techno-geek was beyond the burly young security officer. Don't get him wrong, Tim was a great guy, but, let's face it, Trey needed a real man. Someone like him. His eyes continued to look around, passing over Dr. Smith as a bit too brainy and little spooky, too. Would he really want a woman who knew what he was thinking? She gave him an insulted look in reply and he shivered a little and quickly looked at Lonnie Henderson, seated beside him and, surprisingly, cuddling up to Jonathan Ford.

Lt. Brody smiled with malicious enjoyment. Now this was the frosting on the cake, seeing the commander in this outfit. But he seemed to be carrying it off all right, for now. But when he got the pictures he'd commissioned back....

All the same, Lonnie ought to be paying more attention to him, not the XO. Once they got back to the boat, he'd be sure to revert back to his straight-laced, regulation-bound, stick up the back officious self. Whereas Jim prided himself on his free and easy command manner. He leaned a little over the shared arm toward her and she leaned a little closer to Ford in unconscious response. With a sigh, Jim turned his attention back to the show, surprised at how much time had passed since he started to let his attention wander. Janet was tearing her slip to give Rocky something to look at.

Lonnie couldn't believe how much she was enjoying the movie, with Jim Brody looking distinctly creepy in that Riff Raff get up on one side of her and Jonathan, ahhh, Commander Ford sitting on the other, joining in the madness wholeheartedly.

In unison, they yelled "THINK ABOUT IT BITCH" up to the screen as Janet looked around an evil expression of calculation on her face. Jonathan leaned closer and whispered around his hand, "Reminds me a little of Adler there, you know?" and Lonnie spluttered her amusement, nodding. It did.
It did!

Trey caught Lonnie's attention and with a small nod, the two women stood up as the Criminologist finished his monologue to yell "TELL US ABOUT IT, JANET!" to the other end of the row. As the Captain looked at them with surprised shock on his face, Ari stood up and undulated slowly, making it clear just whom she considered to be her creature of the night.

"I was feeling done in..."

"AND OUT AND IN AND OUT" the two other ensigns responded.

"Couldn't win. I'd only ever kissed befo-o-ore..." Trey gave Lonnie a look of exaggerated surprise.

"You mean she...? The other woman nodded wisely.

"A ho'," Lonnie agreed.

They all joined in with the refrain, to the combined delight of Miguel, Tim and Jonathan, the latter whom had never expected to be encouraged to touch Lonnie in any non-regulation way. In some part of her mind, Lonnie knew that she would regret this later. He was the Executive Officer, her superior in the chain of command. But in that outfit, what there was of it, it was difficult to think of him as anything but entirely masculine. The look on his face, that wickedly heartbreaking grin of him making him too handsome, she couldn't help herself. And the sly twinkle in his eye told her that he knew exactly what she was feeling.

Jonathan enjoyed the serenade Lonnie was giving him, and the disgruntled expression on Brody's face was frosting on the cake. Oh, he knew exactly what was eating the macho security officer and it pleased the dark and handsome XO mightily. And then it occurred to him, for someone who appeared to be only marginally involved in the prank, Jim Brody got the most out of it, the opportunity to embarass fellow crewmen and freely ogle the women of seaQuest. As Dr. Scott greeted Frankenfurter and his former student, Commander Ford decided to look into the question of who really was responsible for the evening. He shelved the speculation in time to join in with the Mousketeer roll call.

As Brad called out "Dr. Scott!", the man who had led the windshield wiper callback and several of the others was stopping at the end of the seaQuest row, next to Miguel. He looked from one to the other, nodding with approval before squatting down so he could talk to them more easily.

"Look," he said, pitching his voice to be heard over the audience chanting out "Janet! Dr. Scott! Janet! Brad! Rocky! Ugh". "We really want to make this a great floor show tonight." Miguel nodded encouragingly.

"Well, I have no complaints," he complimented.

"Yeah, it's one of the best I've seen," Ari agreed.

"I know, but, you see, it's been suggested, well, you two have a couple of the best floor show portion costumes. And we were thinking, if we could get others, well, maybe, would you two be able to go up and, sort of, take over from the floor show? Could you do it?"

Miguel felt flabbergasted by the request, and his immediate response was an indignant no. But he caught sight of the wistful wish on Ari's face as she leaned over him to hear what the man had to say. It wouldn't hurt, he thought, and Lucas was doing it, and... He glanced over at the Captain, catching sight of Ford. That decided him.

"We'd be glad to," he answered, speaking for both of them. The man nodded his thanks and started to stand up, but Steve, who'd been half leaning out of his chair, listening, on the other side, caught his attention.

"Do you need a floor show Rocky?" he asked. The man nodded, his puzzled frown taking in Steve's "first half" outfit.

"Yeah, we'd like one, but..."

"Ok, I'm in. Just let me go change, ok." He grinned across at the seaQuest two. "You know me, Renee. Always ready." His leer made the phrase obscene and Miguel felt himself beginning to get upset again as Steve left.

A small hand placed itself on his forearm as Ari softly murmured, "He's just like that, Miguel. But it doesn't mean anything. I'm not his type." He took the statement with a grain of salt. That guy looked like he did all types.

Lonnie waited gleefully for the proper moment during the dinner scene, just as Colombia was jumping up. She reached into her pocket for the small packet of condiment and half stood, leaning over Jim to hand it to Trey. Trey looked down at the small red coloured container, and her face turned almost the same colour as Tim took it from her curiously, examining the package of catsup. With a knowing and pleased expression, he stowed it away in the front pocket of his jeans, leaning over to whisper, "Maybe we'll use it later." Trey started laughing, half embarassed, half amused.

When Magenta slammed down the lever of the Medusa ray, stoning Brad in place, and Jim took the opportunity to lean over, onto Lonnie's shoulder, and whisper, "So THAT'S why you're Magenta." She looked at him dubiously, then, with a gasp of outrage, realized what he meant. Her hand flicked out to backhand him, but he grabbed it and started to pull her closer. That was when Ford put his hand down between them and ordered "That's enough. Let's enjoy the show, folks." Even undressed, he was commanding. Lonnie flounced back into her seat, some of her pleasure in the show gone because of the big man's nasty little dig. It was just like the jerk to remind her of that whole highly forgettable incident. Jonathan touched her shoulder comfortingly.

In a low voice, very different from the one he'd just used, he advised gently, "Don't mind him. He'd do anything to get a woman to look at him tonight. And since you're the one in the right costume..." his voice trailed off and he smirked slightly. Lonnie grinned, realizing for the first time, that although Jim was sitting between Trey Barlow and her, neither of them were really paying him any attention at all.

Ari gave a sigh of relief as Frankie pulled the lever stoning Rocky. She nudged Miguel and nodded to the aisle, where Steve, now looking absolutely gorgeous in Rocky's 'floor show' costume, was standing up, the floor show manager gesturing for them to follow him. Now, finally, Lucas could get down off the stage and maybe start to enjoy the experience. It was hard to concentrate on the mayhem going on all around them, when she could feel his misery rolling off the stage. Miguel gave her a quick hug, as much to show Steve as anything else. The floor show manager got them backstage and gave them quick instructions.

When she got into position, and while Miguel was running around miming getting things in order, Ari took the time to look out and find Lucas, to make sure that he was ok. To her puzzlement, he was sitting in the front row with Frankie, Janet and Rocky from the floor show, with some kind of script in his lap and a small penlight. She also felt relieved to see Lonnie and Jim leaving their seats. She hadn't been sure that Lonnie would go along with this last thing, and, in her opinion, Brody was just too pleased with himself tonight. A smile touched her lips at the sight of Trey's look of scandalized delight on recognizing her.

On schedule, Miguel, as Frankie, unfroze Rocky, Columbia and Brad, and then, it was her turn. On cue, she stepped forward, and the entire front row called for gas masks, Lucas included. The next move was to cover herself. Turning to the rest of the audience, the three of them raised their arms and yelled above the rest "THANK GOD! DOUCHE THE SLUT!" That raised a big laugh.

She began to sing, "I feel released" Lucas stood in front of her with an expression of smug satisfaction and yelled right back "REAL CHEAP". She gave him an uncertain look. He sounded as though he meant it. Gamely, she continued, "Bad times deceased" and he echoed her, speaking directly at her, "DISEASED" and there was no doubt left. And so it continued through out the entire song until, at the end, he turned around and pointed down just as she kissed the air. That was it! Resolutely, she raised her chin and looked beyond him, erasing him from her field of vision. She had no idea what was eating him, but she had no intention of letting his mean spirited mockery ruin the rest of the movie for her.

Miguel noticed Ari's perturbation during the first number of the floor show, but caught up with keeping in sync with the movie, he didn't have the time to find out the cause of it. During the "Dream it" song, though, she seemed back to normal and having the time of her life. He was glad that he had agreed. There was a square marked off on the floor, indicating the pool, and everyone began to writhe around in it, portraying a waterbourne orgy. Ari crossed her eyes at him and whispered, "Can you imagine doing something like this in the moo ..." then the expression wiped off her face and she twisted around, kicking viciously behind her. A metallic implement went flying past the masking tape edge of the 'pool' and off the stage with a loud clatter, missing Lucas who was still standing there. The look of disappointment that had been on his face as he craned his neck watching them changed to alarum as he ducked away. Miguel frowned No. Lucas hadn't been watching them. He was staring at Ari. Miguel began to watch the boy with one eye, the other on the big picture above them.

Ari waited tensely for Jim and Lonnie to return, but it wasn't until Riff Raff announced, "Frank N. Furter, it's all over.." that she saw them enter the back of the theatre and the light pick them up. She also saw the regular cast slip in behind them. As they paced down to the front, she blinked, the lights blinding her so that she saw something very different. Long robes, hair lank, like Riff's but hanging down to their shoulders, beams of red and green laser fire, narrow corridors and .... She shook her head to dispell the image. Too much Babylon 5,she decided, she was was starting to see Minbari everywhere.

As Miguel sat on the edge of the stage, she could hear him actually singing the words to the song, and the pathos in it almost moved her from her mark to comfort him. But she had to stay in place and do her part, letting him do his. He stood up, turning around in triumph, and he winked at her. With effort, she kept her face straight. He started making faces, mugging it up. Magenta's line saved her from an attack of the giggles.

"How sentimental!" Ari mouthed the word "Bitch" with the audience. Brody, with the movie Riff Raff, invited Miguel to "Say goodbye to all of this, and hello to oblivion." Columbia's scream made her jump, and she fought the impulse to push Miguel down, the trained reflexes of any soldier faced with a weapon.

Miguel was worried about this part, his back to the screen, he could't take his cue from the picture. But he realized he could see the shadow of the action on the camera window up above. As Riff Raff shot Columbia, he imagined a red beam of light, no, several beams, red and green flashing back and forth. He turned and ran, blundering into the curtain, then falling. He got a glimpse of Ari's face and the expression of horror seemed just a little too real for the movie, but then her friend 'Rocky' was on top of him.

God's this guy was strong. He didn't even strain as he picked the muscular chief up and put him over his shoulder. As they mimed climbing the RKO tower, the guy murmured back at Miguel, "Ask Renee about when she played Frankie. God that was a trip. She was everyone's wet dream that night, even mine. If she were a guy ..." Miguel got very still inside, suddenly realizing why Ari had insisted that she "wasn't his type" and the way she kept trying to get between him and her friends. He was also uncomfortably aware of the guy's muscles, the other man's body, in superb condition, carrying him easily.

"Hey, relax," Steve advised good-naturedly. "You're going to make me drop you." They fell into the masking tape marked pool. "Told you so."

"Ari was Frank?" Miguel murmured as Riff Raff got paranoid and ordered the others out of the castle.

"Oh, yeah. She's good as Janet, because that's her usual protective colouring, but the time Rick did Janet and she was Frank ... the poor guy cried himself to sleep."

"Huh?"

"Because she was a better transvestite than he was. And because she wasn't a guy." There was a pause. "She would make a fabulous man," he finally sighed.

"She DOES make a fabulous woman," Miguel answered firmly, and Steve laughed.

"To each his own. Hey! When did she rip the back of her costume." Miguel realized that Steve was watching 'Brad' and 'Janet' wheel 'Dr. Scott' off the stage. "It looks like it's about to split at any moment." The seaQuest sonar man saw red as he understood what it was that Lucas was waiting for all during the floor show. It was an effort to lie still through the final song and monologue, but as soon as it was over, he jumped up and headed for the front row. The floor show, regulars and those pulled from the audience, flowed back, preventing his escape, and Ari grabbed his hand, giving him a big, enthusiastic kiss to the roars of the crowd. As she turned, Steve grabbed her and did the same, which she returned with interest, but as Lucas tried to do the same, she stepped away as Miguel stepped forward, and the temperature dropped. For a moment he stood there, then the actors lined up and bowed.

The theatre began to empty, the lights came up. Columbia confronted Ari, holding her right hand in her left.

"You BITCH!" she complained. "You almost broke my wrist!" Ari looked at the woman who'd wielded the scissors evenly.

"Didn't he tell you we're UEO? From the seaQuest? If I had intended to break your wrist, it would be broken." She turned her head, cold eyes on the young man she had thought was her friend. "It's not your wrist I wanted to break," she continued, speaking to Columbia, but directing the threat at Lucas.

"Wait, Ari!" Lucas said trying to get to her before she walked away. But she ignored him and stepped over to those friends of hers from the Enterprise. Seeing the slash up the back of her top, he stopped short and watched as the blonde handed her a black leather, 'Frankie' jacket. She began to chatter animatedly with them. Lucas felt a glowering presence at his back and turned slowly, with apprehension, to find Trey Barlow, holding a pair of scissors, accusation in her eyes, and Miguel Ortiz, hands clenched into fists.

"You have anything to do with these, Wolenczak?" Trey asked pointedly, holding the implement up for his inspection.

"No. I mean, I didn't intend ..."

"Hey!" the floor show manager swooped in. "Those are mine. Where'd you find them? They're supposed to be backstage." He took the shears from Trey's hand and looked around. "Ok! Which of you clowns snatched my scissors and brought them out front." Frankie looked at Columbia, still indignant over her injured hand and trying to work up sympathy from the others.

"I did Wooley," she confessed sullenly. "I wanted to teach that bitch Janet a lesson."

"What? What Janet? Ok, Mary. What did you do?"

"Don't blame her, Wooley," Frank stepped forward protectively. "It was my idea. The kid was a virgin, he had no idea what his 'friend' was getting him into. She set the whole thing up just to embarass the hell out of him."

Wooley looked perplexed, his eyes darting from his actors to Lucas and back again. "What are you talking about? He did it to himself." Nodding at Miguel, he continued, explaining, "This guy and his girl tried to stop the kid, but he wasn't listening to reason.

Frank stared at Lucas evenly. "Is that true?" he asked quietly.

"No. I mean, sort of but, not really. Well, maybe a little, but it's still her fault." The two actors gave him a disgusted look, shaking their heads and walking away, the manager heading toward Ari and her Enterprise friends.

Lucas felt like shit, and then he realized that worse was to come. He turned around, and found Trey giving him the same disgusted look that the Rocky Horror people had given him. Miguel was harder to read.

"You asked them to cut her costume so that she would be exposed to everyone?" he asked quietly.

"NO! That wasn't me at all."

"You were waiting for something, I saw you."

"And you were incredibly nasty there at the end," Trey added her voice.

"I saw the way that you were acting." Lucas looked from one to the other.

With a shamefaced shrug, he answered Trey's accusation. "With the way she was yelling things at me, she deserved it," he claimed angrily. "Turn about's fair play, you know." Miguel pressed his lips together, shaking his head slowly, the garish, smeared makeup making him look more ominous, not less.

"And to think she worried about you the entire time you were up there," he mused, disappointment in his voice. He turned his back on the youth, stepping away. Lonnie, Brody, Tim and the Captain stepped up, slapping him on the back and congratulating him for his performance, but Lucas only saw Miguel going up to Ari, and her turning to include him into their conversation.

Steve looked over at the clump of seaQuest crew, surrounding the cute blonde kid. "Is he worth the trouble, Renee?" he asked half-joking. She snorted a half laugh and didn't answer, leaning her head wearily against Miguel's solid shoulder.

"I can't believe someone tried to cut your top," Rick emoted commiserately. Now Ari did smile.

"I don't think she'll try it again anytime soon. Look, it's late, and we've got to get these costumes back to the shops. If they'll accept this back. I think it's time for you guys to pay up." Steve pursed his lips dubiously, looking over the rather disreputable appearing group and he shook his head.

"I don't buy a pig in a poke," he said. "I want proof." She laughed and stood up straight, taking his hand and pulling him forward.

"Ok, then, come on, you doubting Thomas." His crewmates followed and they began introductions, comparing costumes, ranks and participation.

"Full house," Steve concluded glumly. "Ok, you win." He reached toward the breast pocket of the jacket Ari had on over her costume, elicting a proprietary growl from Miguel and causing Ari to step backward, almost stepping on Lucas, whom she was ignoring thoroughly. Holding up one hand, she put her other into the pocket and brought out a wallet, handing it to the burnished blonde man.

Nodding his thanks, the Enterprise officer took out a number of banknotes, counted them and then, to everyone's surprise, didn't hand them to Ari. Instead, he looked around until he spotted Brody, half-way up the aisle and out the theatre.

"HEY! Don't you want your winnings?" he yelled after the tactical officer, pushing through the gathered crowd and starting after him. Captain Bridger looked at his small ensign with raised eyebrows.

"Lt. Brody?" he questioned.

"Yes sir," Tim answered for her. "They wanted Ari for their Janet because they said they knew the seaQuest crew would never go for this, and Jim bet them that we would."

Ari smiled, sighed and shook her head. "Be fair Tim. I wanted to do it, but ... If I thought that if I could actually share the experience with you guys, that would be even better. And," she looked again at the lieutenant, an affectionate half smile on her face. "It was my plan that got you all here," she confessed.

"Well," Captain Bridger declared, taking Wendy's arm and directing her toward the exit. "I'd say it's time we changed back into ourselves. We need to turn in these costumes after all."

"I don't know," Ari replied, starting to remove the leather coat and having Rick force it back over her shoulders. She looked down at the tight bodice. "I think I'll keep this. I'm rather attached to it."

"You ARE NOT going to be doing this again," Miguel lay down the law in no uncertain terms, while Tim looked rather intrigued by the idea. Ari laughed.

"No," she answered, starting to laugh. "I superglued the top up," she confessed, "and I don't have the solvent. I am literally attached to it."

"So THAT'S why you didn't pop out!" Lucas caroled, understanding in his voice. "I thought ..." The look she gave him stopped him cold, but she didn't answer. For a moment, she just looked at him, then Miguel put his arm around her waist and drew her away, and the others followed. Lonnie and Ford stopped beside him and the ensign put her arm around his shoulders comfortingly.

"Don't worry, Lucas," she advised. "She'll get over it. And you did do a great job, you know."

Ford chuckled and nodded his head. "Yep. Lucas, you were the best asshole I've ever seen."


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