The Shadow Within

by Mara

Disaclaimer: I don't own most of them. I do own all the previous stories in this series and the charcters I claimed in those parts.

Note: This is an AU second season. Katie, Kristen, and Ben never left. The first seaQuest was never destroyed. The episode Higher Power/Ocean On Fire never happened. In fact none of the events after the Ep. 'The Last Lap Of Luxury' happened in this universe. This is the same universe as all my previous stories. So Nathan has adopted Lucas, Kristen and Nathan are engaged.

Summary: Lucas must deal with his feelings about Cynthia Wolonczak's death.


The Shadow Within
by Mara

Deep down Lucas knew the truth. But part of him couldn't help but think that if he had just accepted that she wouldn't change, if he had just stopped trying, she wouldn't have been killed by the other women. Maybe she would still be alive. He was scared that Nathan might start to blame him eventually. That he wouldn't love him anymore. That he would send Lucas away. That scared Lucas more than anything else.

****

Nathan was worried about Lucas. It had been three days since Cynthia Wolonczak had died and all Lucas had done was cried. The teen had refused to leave his room, even to eat or play with Darwin. Nathan knew he couldn't stay with Lucas all the time, so he had asked Lucas' friends to check on him pierodically. Make sure he was alright. They had all agreed. Lucas hardly ever acknowledged them when they came by. He spent most of the day crying to himself. Ben, Tim and Miguel had all tried to get him to play poker but he had just said he was not interested. He didn't even look up when they asked. Kristen had tried to get him to work on the vo-corder but he had said he was too tired. The only thing he did besides crying was sleep. And even then he didn't get any rest. His sleep was haunted by nightmares he refused to talk about. Nathan had spent everynight since they had recieved word of Cynthia's death in Lucas' room holding the teen tightly. Lucas would not even tell him what the nightmares were about. Nathan just didn't know what to do to help his son.

******

Kristen had given Nathan a small supply of mild sedatives to give to Lucas when the teen had a nightmare or a panic attack during the night and the teen having trouble getting back to sleep. She had made sure to tell Nathan to hide the sedatives. Kristen's biggest concern was that the stress would cause Lucas to attempt suicide. She knew of one other attempt he had made, years before, and didn't want to risk losing the teen. She just hoped that she and the rest of the SeaQuest crew could help him through this.

*****

Ben was terrified about how Lucas was acting. The teen hadn't realy talked to anyone since Cynthia Wolonczak had died. Lucas hadn't even left his room in three days. He had told Ben he wasn't interested in playing some poker. Ben knew this was hard on the teen, but seeing the boy like this was terrifying. If only he knew what to do.

*****

Ford was worried about Lucas, too. He knew that he didn't show it, but he did care about the teen. The thought of how depressed Lucas seemed was frightening. Ford just wished he could find a way to help the boy.

******

Katie had cried for Lucas. She was horrified about how upset the teen was. If only she could find a way to make things alright for Lucas. She was particularly worried that the teen had turned down a chance to play poker. She understood why he was upset but she couldn't help but worry. If only she knew what to do.

*****

Tim was trying to figure out a way to reassure Lucas. He wondered if telling Lucas that Cynthia had died because god felt it was her time would help at all. He didn't want to risk making things harded on the teen. Maybe he should just pray for Lucas to feel better soon. Maybe that was all he could do.

******

Miguel had been through several ideas on what to do to cheer Lucas up. His latest was to loan Lucas his blankette. He thought that might at least get Lucas to laugh some. But he wasn't sure. If he did that he might just make Lucas mad. The teen might feel like he was being babied. He might take the same position Ford always had, that it was a blankie not a blankette. Miguel just wished he knew what he could do.

*****

Lonnie wished she could help. She didn't know Lucas as well as the rest of the senior staff but she could still tell something was very wrong. She wished she knew what she could do.

*****

Tony was concerned. He knew Lucas was upset when the teen had turned down an offer to play poker with them. Lucas had never turned down an opportunity to clean Tony out. He considered loaning Lucas a vid-disc but decided it might not be a good idea.

*****

Wendy could feel how tense everyone was. She knew it was because they were all concerned about Lucas. So was she. She could feel the immense pain Lucas was in and just wished that she could help him. But Lucas had refused to talk to her. All the teen had said to her was "I don't want to talk to you or anyone else." That was the last thing he had said other than yes or no. She knew he had even turned down an opportunity to play poker with Ben and Tony.

*****

Even Brody was concerned. He might often think Lucas was annoying but knowing the boy was so upset was...disturbing. Lucas had even turned down an offer of playing poker with Ben and Tony. That is what proved to Brody that the teen was really bad off. He just wished he knew Lucas better so he could figure out how to help.

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