Title: Again

Author/ pseudonym: Morgana.

Fandom: The Sentinel.

Parings: Blair/Jim.

Rating: PG

Status: finished.

Category: romance. Episode related, Sentinel too.

Archive: Yes, just drop me a note telling me where you're archiving it.

E-mail address for feedback: morganalebeau@yahoo.com

Series/Sequel: stand-alone.

Disclaimer: The Sentinel is a creation by Danny Bilson and Paul DeMeo and belongs to Paramount Pictures, Pet Fly Productions & UPN.

Summary; Blair almost dies again and Jim finally admits the truth.

Spoilers: up to season 4 Sentinel too.

Notes: //... // depicts thoughts.

"Perkins? What's going on here?" Simon Banks asked the uniformed cop who was apparently in charge of this rescue operation. Jim and he had been on their way to the precinct when sirens and the sight of police cars had caught their attention.

"Captain Banks?" Perkins recognized Simon Banks and nodded his head. "You want an update, sir?"

"Yes," Simon growled impatiently. Did he have to spell it out for the other cop?

Jim walked up to the two men. His sense of hearing told him that a man was trapped beneath a car and that the rescue workers were trying their best to free the victim. He was about to inform Simon when Perkins finally spoke.

"A toddler lost his mother and ended up on the street. The driver reacted just in time, but crashed in to the pond. He's trapped beneath the car. It doesn't look too good," Perkins said worried. "The toddler has been reunited with his mother and we've been working on freeing the driver for the last hour now."

"Maybe we can help?" Jim offered. If the victim was trapped beneath the car, maybe his Sentinel touch could tell him how to pull the driver free?

"Sure," Perkins accepted gratefully. He kind of hoped that Banks would take over. He didn't have the necessary experience to handle this emergency situation.

Jim tuned in on the voices of the rescue workers.

"It's been an hour... he's exhausted... the car is crushing his left leg... about to drown..."

This urged Jim to take action. "Come on, sir. Time's running out for the driver."

"You go ahead, Jim. I'm going to take charge here." Simon looked Jim in the eyes. If anyone could get the driver out, it would be Jim Ellison. The man's Sentinel senses gave him an edge.

"Do we have an ID on the driver?" Jim asked Perkins who accompanied him to the wracked car. It would help if he could address the man properly. The driver had already been in the water for an hour and wouldn't be that lucid at this point.

"Yes," Perkins confirmed. "His name's Blair Sand..." His voice trailed off hearing the shocked yelp that left Ellison's lips. "Sir?"

"Sandburg?" Jim blinked his eyes. "It's Blair? Shit!" Jim stared at the Volvo and recognized the car. It was Blair's all right! "Can't be happening! Not again!" he exclaimed and started to run. Over an hour! Blair had been in the cold water for over an hour already!

//Water!// Jim cringed inwardly. Blair had drowned only four weeks ago and things were still awkward between them, though they tried hard to recapture the old friendship and now Blair was drowning again? No, he wouldn't allow it!

With a giant leap he ended up in the water and used his senses to guide him to Blair. Yeah, he recognized the familiar heartbeat, but it was much too slow and Blair's breathing had turned shallow.

Jim waded through the water. His heart missed several beats when he saw the position Blair was in. The seatbelt had done its best to lessen the impact, but had been ripped apart. Blair had been thrown out of the car upon impact with the water and now lay trapped beneath it.

"Blair, buddy... I'm here!" Jim pushed one of the rescue workers aside so he could get to Blair who looked frozen. Blair's lips had already turned blue and his eyes were closed. "Chief? Come on, open your eyes."

The rescue worker moved aside and asked, "Who are you? Do you know him?"

"Yeah," Jim replied as he kneeled in the ice-cold water. "I know him. I'm his partner." His hands sought out Blair's face and he supported his partner's head, which occasionally slipped beneath the water. The wet curls clung to Blair's brow and Jim's face contorted with concern as Blair spat out a mouthful of icy water.

Blair slowly opened his eyes. That took the last remnant of his strength, but he thought he'd heard Jim's voice. "Jim?" he whispered in a barely audible tone.

"I'm here, Chief. Hold on. They'll get you out," Jim encouraged his partner. But his heart grew heavy as his senses monitored the slow heartbeat. Blair was giving up, why? Fear and panic clawed at Jim's soul, but he fought them off. "I won't let you drown a second time," Jim promised emotionally. The cold water permeated his body, but he ignored it. He'd only been in the water for a few minutes, Blair for over an hour.

Blair tried to smile as he heard Jim's determination. "I've been... thinking," he whispered and managed to lock eyes with Jim. A small wave of cold water splashed against his chin and he quickly closed his mouth. Damn, he was so fucking cold!

"About what, Darwin?" Jim asked in an attempt to distract Blair. Jim suddenly heard Simon curse and realized that Banks now also knew who was trapped beneath the Volvo. Tuning out all the other noises, Jim completely focused on Blair. //My God, Blair, I can't lose you again. Not like this!// Regret tore at his heart. Why hadn't they discussed their relationship? Their friendship?

Why had he told Blair that he wasn't ready to take that trip with him? What if Blair died? Oh my God, all the unspoken things between them would never be spoken! //I'm sorry, Blair.// He'd been a coward.

"Been thinking... about drowning..." Blair whispered and grinned. Jim's distress was evident and it felt good to know that the Sentinel still cared for him. "Maybe you saving me... was a mistake... and it's being... rectified now..." Blair closed his eyes again. His body was numb and he no longer felt his legs or arms. "Poetic justice, man..."

"What are you talking about?" Jim's anger built. "A mistake? Hell no!" Briefly he felt speechless. "I can't live without you, Chief." It was the truth, but he should have spoken those words weeks ago when he'd visited Blair in the hospital.

Blair heard Jim's voice, but couldn't really make out the words. His body was giving up, surrendering to the cold water. It was only a matter of minutes now. "Looks like I'm going to... make that trip alone," Blair said, trying to sound light-hearted. "But the water... isn't that nice..."

"Blair, don't you dare give up!"

Simon's voice cut through the air and Blair tried to chuckle, but he no longer possessed the necessary energy. "It's okay... Simon..."

"Dammit!" Simon jumped into the water as well and joined them. "You're going to survive, Sandburg and that's an order!" He looked at Jim and saw the terror in the Sentinel's eyes. "Keep talking, Jim... the rescue workers need a few more minutes. They're going to put inflatable cushions beneath the front of the car... that way they can pull Blair away."

Determinedly, Jim nodded his head. "I won't let him die."

Satisfied, Simon returned to the rescue workers. This would work. Their plan had to work! He refused to see Blair dead a second time!

"You heard the man, Chief." Jim moved a little closer to Blair and watched horrified as his partner struggled against the water that invaded his mouth. "Spit it out," he ordered and rubbed Blair's throat. "Spit it out!" He felt victoriously as Blair obeyed. "Come on, Chief. You know I won't let you take that trip alone. I want to be there. You're not ready to make that trip and neither am I. We'll do it together when the time is right." He prayed Blair understood the real meaning of what he was offering. "Don't leave me."

Blair's eyes grew big. "What did you say?" He gathered his strength and stared into Jim's eyes. Had Jim really said that? Maybe it was the endorphin rush kicking in now that his body was shutting down. But this time there wouldn't be any jungle, no jaguar, no wolf... no merge. But remembering the merge soothed him. He would always carry a part of Jim in his heart, in his soul and maybe there was life after death and he would cling to that little part of Jim inside him.

"We'll take that trip together," Jim promised again. "Please Blair, don't give up." He fought back the tears that swam in his eyes. "I can't lose you, Blair." Life without Blair Sandburg was meaningless and empty. Blair's gentle smile took him by surprise. "Blair? Blair!" he exclaimed terrified when Blair's heartbeat grew erratic. His partner's lungs sounded congested and Blair had trouble breathing.

"Ellison?" Perkins called out, trying to get through to the detective. "We're going to get him out now. Please move away."

The words almost got lost in the cacophony of Jim's distress, but then he realized what Perkins wanted him to do. Reluctantly, he released Blair's hand. "Please hold on," he said and then got to his feet again to give the rescue workers the space they needed.

Simon joined Jim and squeezed his detective's shoulder. "Any moment now, Jim," he said reassuringly. He put his trust in the experienced rescue workers, who had formed a plan to free Blair. "He'll be fine."

Jim shook his head, but refrained from speaking his thoughts out loud. //Blair wants to die. He isn't fighting the cold. A mistake? How the hell did he reach that conclusion? Blair, I love you, don't give up.// It was his best kept secret, his most successfully repressed secret... he was in love with his roommate... had been for the last three years. He'd only realized it after Alex had killed Blair, but he'd been hesitant to bring it up. Blair was straight and Jim had always tried hard to appear straight as well. Life could be hell for a gay cop. But not admitting that truth to Blair had pushed them apart. //I'll tell you, Blair. Just survive, baby.//

Simon and Jim watched silently as the rescue workers managed to pull Blair from beneath the Volvo. They strapped Blair to a gurney and carried him out of the water. Jim cringed as he realized the damage done to Blair's left leg, which the car had crushed. Small pieces of bone showed through the flesh. Blair succeeded in cocking his head and seemed to search for him. Jim reacted at once and walked up to him. "I'm here, Chief." He reclaimed Blair's hand and the paramedics that now took over allowed it.

Blair was too cold to shiver. His numb body refused to transmit any signals to his brain and Blair felt helpless. By now he'd realized that he would survive and would have to face Jim. "I'm... sorry..."

It amazed Jim that Blair was still conscious, still capable of speech. "It's okay, Blair. Let them do their job and don't give them a hard time. Just get better... for me, okay?" A lump formed in his throat as Blair disappeared into the ambulance. Luckily, Cascade General hospital was only minutes away. "Want me to come along?"

"Yeah," Blair breathed and then lost his fight to stay conscious. "I... like...that." His eyes closed and his hand opened, releasing Jim's as Blair's fingers lost their strength.

"We'll take good care of him," one paramedic promised.

Jim nodded his head. He wanted to update Simon first and then he would drive to the hospital too.

///

Two hours later Jim gave up pacing the waiting area. Simon had joined him 30 minutes ago and they were still waiting for news on Blair's condition.

"Jim, sit down!" Simon said annoyed. The Sentinel reminded him of a caged tiger. "The kid will be just fine!"

"Blair needs something to fight for," Jim whispered worried. "I never realized it, you know."

"Realized what?" Simon gave up and played along.

"Blair always had something to fight for... me..." Jim locked eyes with Simon. "And I concentrated on Blair when I was in dire straits."

"So, the kid will pull through again." Simon kept a close eye on the door, wishing one of the doctors would finally inform them.

"Don't you get it?" Jim said worried. "Blair has given up. I told him that I wasn't ready to take that trip with him and then I fell for Veronica... Shit, I've been so stupid! Why didn't Blair kick my ass?"

"Jim? Start making sense!" Simon got to his feet. Jim's raving worried him. Hopefully Jim wasn't losing it!

"I never wanted him to know," Jim admitted and came to a standstill when Simon placed a restraining hand on his shoulder.

"Know what? Say it, detective," Simon ordered.

"That I love him..." Jim choked out, but damn, admitting it felt good!

Simon released an amused chuckle. "We figured that one out years ago."

"We?"

"Almost everyone at Major Crime," Simon explained. "You never told Blair?"

"No... he isn't interested in men," Jim said and shrugged his shoulders. He eyed Simon closely.

"We thought Blair and you already were an item," Simon said eventually. "And that the two of you didn't want anyone else to know."

"You thought we were lovers?" Jim asked mystified.

"Jim, you touch the kid all the time and hell, you're protective of him... although I must admit to being confused when you started to date Veronica."

Jim stared at his captain in disbelief. "I never picked up on it." He'd never heard them whisper behind his back. //Can't believe they think that Blair and I are lovers...!//

"Are you going to tell Blair now?" Simon removed his hand from Jim's shoulder and picked up his coat. He wanted to take a hot shower and change his damp clothes. Jim had already taken that shower and was now wearing some sweats the nurses had given him. "Or do you want to risk losing him again, because he doesn't know how much you really care for him? You're playing a dangerous game, Jim."

"I promised myself to tell him, Simon so I will... once he's awake I'll tell him the truth." Jim felt uncomfortable. "But what if he..."

"Jim," Simon said amused. "The kid has had a crush on you since... forever... we all saw it happen."

"I never did," Jim admitted. "I hope you're right."

///

"Detective Ellison?" The doctor stepped into the waiting area and concentrated on Jim. He'd seen Blair and Jim in the hospital before, had even treated Blair's injuries on one occasion.

"How is he?" Jim jumped to his feet and the chair toppled over. "Can I see him? Is he all right?"

Doctor Holmes smiled. "Blair's strong. He'll need time to recover, but he'll make it and yes, you can see him." He'd learned that keeping Jim and Blair apart didn't work.

Jim followed Holmes and peeked at the doctor. "What about his leg and lungs?"

"His lungs will recover. I put him on medication to prevent complications and the leg... we operated on it and had to reconstruct it. Blair will be confined to bed for at least 4 weeks. Then he'll need physical therapy to bring full mobility back to the leg."

Jim sighed relieved. "Thanks, doctor."

Holmes pointed out a door to him and Jim walked inside. Seeing Blair alive took a gigantic burden from his shoulders. "Blair," he whispered gratefully and then pulled up a chair. Immediately he claimed Blair's left hand and rubbed the knuckles. "The things you put me through..." A quick scan of Blair's vitals told him that his partner was about to wake up and this time he wouldn't shy away from telling Blair the truth.

Blair relished the feel of Jim's fingers on his skin and smiled as he opened his eyes. "Jim, this is... deja-vu," he whispered. Only a few weeks ago Jim had stood at his bed too. "I survived again..." He wasn't sure how he felt about that. Dying hadn't seemed that terrible when he'd been beneath the car. Now he had to face Jim again.

"Yeah, you did," Jim said relieved and leaned in closer to study Blair's hooded eyes. "You wanted to die, why?"

Blair shivered. He'd never wanted Jim to find out. "I shouldn't be alive, Jim." Blair pushed his body deeper into the comfort of the mattress. "You shouldn't have brought me back. It was wrong."

"Why? I don't understand... why was it wrong?" Inwardly seething, Jim managed to control his outward appearance.

"You weren't ready to take that trip with me, remember?" Blair hesitantly locked eyes with Jim. He paused to gather his courage. "You don't love me the way I love you, Jim and that's okay... I understand. You want to take that trip with someone else..."

"Oh, baby," Jim whispered stunned and watched how Blair's eyes grew big. "I love you too!"

"Uh? Jim?" Blair was speechless. "But what about all those women you dated?"

Jim understood. "Same reason why you dated all those women."

"You thought I was straight?" Blair tried to understand, but... //What if this is a drug induced dream? They did inject a painkiller... maybe I'm dreaming this?//

"Blair... why didn't you tell me that you're bi?"

"Why didn't you tell me?" Blair retaliated. Then he felt Jim's fingertips on his brow and he finally realized that this was really happening. This wasn't a dream!

"I can't believe we wasted all these years..." Jim leaned in closer and pressed a kiss on Blair's lips. "Let me explain something, baby. When I said that I wasn't ready to take that trip with you, I meant that I wasn't ready yet to take that trip with you. I always wanted to take that trip with you!"

Blair simply stared at Jim. "Kiss me again?" he whispered. Maybe feeling Jim's lips on his would convince him that Jim had just confessed to loving him!

"You don't have to ask, baby," Jim whispered and claimed Blair's lips again. "We're ready to take that trip, aren't we?"

"Yeah," Blair breathed into Jim's mouth as the Sentinel deepened the kiss. "We are."

///

Pleased, Jim looked about the loft. Although they'd unpacked one or two of Blair's boxes after getting back from Sierra Verde, some stuff had remained packed in Blair's room. He'd used these last three days to put everything back in its rightful place and to make some changes. Three days. Blair had been in the hospital for three days and Sandburg hated it.

Jim grinned. The nurses had told him that they'd seldom had such a stubborn patient. The only thing Blair agreed to swallow voluntarily was his pain medication because his left leg hurt too badly. Jim remembered holding his breath when Blair had pushed back the sheet when he'd visited his lover that first day. The surgeon had put metal pins into the bone of the leg to reconstruct it and Jim was sure that it hurt like hell. Blair however, had never complained, had dealt with it in his own way. Once Blair had known that the toddler was unharmed, it had longer mattered that he himself was in pain. Oh how he loved Blair Sandburg for being just who he was!

And today Blair was coming home again! Jim walked over to his bed, which now stood in the living area. He'd pushed the couch aside to make room for the bed. He didn't want Blair locked up in his small room. Blair would be incapable to walk for several weeks and the last thing Jim wanted was to make Blair a prisoner of his own room. By bringing the bed in here, Blair could take part in everyday life; watch TV, talk to their guests and they could sleep in the same bed. Jim wanted to stay close in case Blair needed something.

Jim checked the time and cursed softly. It was 10.30 already and he was expected to pick Blair up at 11.00. He retrieved his coat, grabbed the keys and left the loft. After firing up the truck he drove to the hospital. //Living with Blair during these weeks will be hell,// Jim realized smugly. Blair hated being confided to bed and being immobile and he would take it out on the person closest to him, Jim. "But I don't mind, baby," Jim said softly. "You've been on the receiving end of my temper too."

For better or for worse... in good times and in bad. He planned to be at Blair's side no matter what was going on. With Carolyn he'd never really felt that need and marrying her had been a mistake. The fierce love and protectiveness that he felt for Blair had never been there with Carolyn. He'd married her out of convenience, to have someone to come home to after a long day of work. Of course it had backfired on him.

But with Blair things would be different, were already different. Blair loved him back with every cell of his being and it felt like they were destined to be together. When Blair had stormed into his life three years ago Jim had tried to deny that truth. Life was hard on gay cops, but apparently love refused to be denied and he would pay the price if society demanded one. "I just want to be with you, Blair."

///

Impatiently, Blair stared at the doorway. He wanted out of this hospital now! He'd spent way too much time here lately, plus it brought back ugly memories. Jim had visited him after the drowning incident and Blair remembered the rejection vividly. But apparently he'd misinterpret Jim's reaction back then. The Sentinel just hadn't been ready yet, but had always planned to take that trip with him.

//Semantics...// They hadn't spoken much at that time. Alex had almost destroyed their friendship. Blair often wondered if dying had made things up to Jim. After all, the debacle had been his fault. He should have told Jim about Alex and he hadn't. Dying might have been the price to get a second chance.

Blair stared at his leg. He'd removed the blanket because he'd been hot. The doctor had reassured him that the fever was a normal companion to go with the injury. As he studied the pins he wondered if he would ever regain his old control over the leg. He was scheduled to have physical therapy after the pins were removed and the doctor had warned that he had to work hard to regain his old mobility. In the meantime he was confided to bed... bummer.

"Hey, Blair."

Surprised, Blair looked up at Joel. "Hey man, what are you doing here?" H, Rhonda and even Simon had visited him during these last few days. He smiled at Joel, genuinely liking the older man.

"Didn't know what to bring you, so I got some fruit," Joel said and placed the paper bag on Blair's bed. His concerned eyes roamed the injured leg. "That looks bad, Blair," he said honestly. After Jim had told them what had happened he'd been determined to visit Sandburg but work had been in the way. Only now he'd had time to go to the hospital. "Simon told me you're going to be released today?"

"Yeah, Jim's supposed to pick me up," Blair informed Joel and couldn't hide blushing slightly as he remembered their mutual confession of being in love. They'd kissed, but the painkillers made Blair doze off before things could go further. He wondered what things would be like when he got back to the loft. They had to talk about this new development.

"I heard that the kid's mum's really grateful that you managed to avoid hitting the toddler," Joel said and sat down. He watched as Blair examined the content of the paper bag. "Must have been a frightening experience... being back in the water..." Blair had drowned only weeks ago. "Want to talk about it?"

Blair shrugged his shoulders. "Not much to talk about, man."

Something in Blair's demeanour caught Joel's attention. "Why don't I believe you? You should know that you can talk to me, Blair." He'd always liked Blair who'd proven himself when Kincaid had taken over the station. "I'm your friend."

Blair couldn't keep up the pretence and avoided Joel's eyes. "I wanted to die, Joel."

"Why?" Shocked, Joel managed to lock eyes with the younger man. "Make me understand."

"I always thought that I should have died at the fountain... that coming back was a mistake. When the accident happened I thought things were being rectified." Blair realized that his eyes were watering and quickly wiped them with the back of his hand. He wasn't going to cry in front of Joel. "But then Jim appeared out of nowhere."

"What did Jim do?" Joel suddenly realized how badly Blair needed to talk about this. After the fountain none of them had offered to talk to Blair about dying. They'd hoped Jim would talk to Blair or that Sandburg was seeing a psychologist. Joel now realized his mistake. "What did Jim say?"

"That I was supposed to be alive... to stay alive. That he wasn't going to let me die again. I never realized he..." Blair's voice trailed off.

Back in the corridor Jim bit his lower lip as he eavesdropped on his lover. It hadn't been his intention, but when he'd heard Blair talk to Joel, he'd been compelled to listen. He had to know that Blair understood, really understood his importance in Jim's life.

"He cared?" Joel finished and nodded his head. It was time to jump into the deep end. "Blair, this might not be my place to say it, but I think the man loves you." Blair's sudden grin surprised Joel. "Blair?"

"He does... love me," Blair admitted. "And I love him too... but you better not tell anyone, Joel." He hadn't discussed the status of their new relationship with Jim and had no idea whether Jim wanted to keep it secret or come out to the others.

Joel laughed warmly. "We always knew the two of you would end up together," he said teasingly. "Jim was a grumpy bastard until you entered his life."

In the corridor, Jim growled softly. A grumpy bastard?

Blair suddenly shivered. "Uh, Joel?" His instincts told him that the Sentinel was close. "Is Jim here?"

Jim sighed and knocked on the door to announce his presence.

"Yes?" Blair watched the door open and cringed, realizing that Jim had heard their conversation. "Is it 11.00 already?" he said, trying to distract Jim from the conversation the Sentinel had listened in on.

"I care, you hear me? I care about you, Blair," Jim said determinedly and ignored Joel as he stalked closer to the bed. "I love you, dammit. It's time you got that through your thick skull." He'd heard the doubt in Blair's voice when his lover had talked to Joel. "And yes, I need you... alive. You're supposed to be alive. You coming back wasn't a mistake. It was right!" Jim gently clutched Blair's head and looked deep in to the startled blue eyes. "And you're coming back home with me."

Amused, Joel watched the exchange. The change in Jim was obvious. Joel had seen Jim keep it all inside when Blair had been in danger and had prayed the detective would finally let go and trust Blair. At last it had happened. He'd almost given up hope. Okay, maybe he should leave now and give the two men a little privacy.

"I'm working on it, tough guy," Blair replied eventually. "Just give me time." He wanted to believe the things Jim had told him, but remembered all the times that Jim had shut him out.

"Let's get you home," Jim said and smiled. Yeah, Blair was trying hard. //If I hadn't screwed up, Blair wouldn't have to try at all. I just should have told him instead of playing games.//

At that moment the nurse entered to deliver the wheelchair. She also handed Blair his release papers and pointed out to him that he had an appointment in 7 days. The surgeon wanted to check on the pins. Then she left them.

"Joel?" Jim saw that the older man was getting ready to leave and didn't want to chase him off. Blair obviously trusted Joel and opening up must have taken a large burden off Sandburg's shoulders. Maybe Jim could get Joel to stick around a little longer?

"Yes?" Joel picked up his coat and started for the doorway, but Jim's voice stopped him.

"Could you give me a hand? I don't want to hurt him when I put him in the wheelchair," Jim explained.

"Hello? I'm here!" Blair whispered amused, realizing Jim's plan. Yeah, he would love it if Joel could stay close a little longer.

"You're the patient, babe. Let us do this." Jim smiled as he pushed the wheelchair closer to the bed. "Does the leg hurt?"

"It's hard to tell." Blair looked doubtfully. "The pain meds are great and as long as I don't move I'm fine... but now you want me to move and..."

"Stop babbling, baby," Jim said and loved the blush that spread over Blair's face. Being called babe or baby was something Blair still had to get used to! Jim signaled Joel to support Blair's right side and together they managed to lift the young man and place him in the wheelchair.

Blair gritted his teeth against the pain. Damn, it was bad! His leg felt aflame and he trembled violently. "Jim... man... I..."

"It's okay, Blair," Jim said and sat on his heels, tucking in a blanket to keep Blair warm. "You can lay down again once we get home."

Concerned, Joel watched them. "You should get him home ASAP, Jim." Blair was biting his lower lip and the blue eyes were filled with tears, caused by pain.

"Joel? Can you get the doors?" Jim gently pushed the wheelchair, trying to keep the discomfort for Blair to a minimum. "Want a pain pill?" he asked as they passed the nurses station.

"I can do this," Blair whimpered and focused on the floor. He could do this! He wanted to go home. If Jim or the nurse realized that he wasn't up to this, they would force him to stay.

"Okay, just take it easy, babe," Jim adviced in a concerned tone. It was a good thing he'd gotten some time off from work to care for his partner and he suspected Blair would need a lot of care.

///

Blair was mentally and physically exhausted when they finally entered the loft. Thanks to Joel's help things had gone more smoothly, but the older man had excused himself once they had arrived back home, wanting them to have some privacy.

With extreme effort, Blair managed to peek open his right eye. He expected Jim to carry him into his room, but both his eyes flashed open when he saw the changes Jim had made. "Your bed?"

"Yeah, that way you're close," Jim explained and lowered Blair onto the bed. "I think you should take that pain pill now, Blair." He studied his lover's vitals and found the heartbeat excessively fast.

Blair gave in. "You're right," he said, hating to admit it. He pulled up the blanket and relished the fact that he was flat on his back again. Finally, his leg got some rest. "I'll be a pain in the ass for the next weeks," Blair warned Jim, who now held out a glass of water and a pain pill. Obediently, Blair swallowed it.

"Nothing new," Jim said teasingly and removed his coat and boots. "Do you mind me joining you, baby?"

Blair licked his lips. "No, I don't mind." He watched silently as Jim crawled into the bed beside him. Jim opened his arms and Blair allowed his lover to snuggle up to him. Jim lay on his side, watching him and Blair felt nervous. "Jim?"

"Yes?" Jim played with a lock of Blair's hair, memorizing each line etched onto Blair's brow. Those lines shouldn't be there!

"Still can't believe I'm back home again. When I was trapped beneath the Volvo I... What happened to my car?" he suddenly wondered.

"Total wrack," Jim explained. "No way it could be repaired. We'll find you a new car, babe." He pulled Blair close, cautious not to put any pressure on the injured leg. Blair felt soft and pliant in his arms and Jim nuzzled his lover's locks. "I'm so glad you decided to give me another chance, Blair." The look Blair gave him was puzzled. "Thank you for going on this trip together."

Blair played with the end of the blanket. "But where will it take us, Jim?"

"We'll see, babe. Please don't worry about it. These next weeks are ours. I took all my remaining leave and I don't have to go in for 14 days." Jim raised his right hand and traced the outline of Blair's lips with his finger. "Is this okay with you?"

"Okay with me?" Blair repeated and yawned. Embarrassed, he said apologetically, "It's the meds. They make me sleepy. Yeah, this is more than okay with me. The only thing that bothers me is that we have to wait to make love...stupid leg!"

Jim laughed. "Oh, I'm sure we can think of something to make you come."

"What about making you come?" Blair rested his head on Jim's shoulder and closed his eyes. He'd always wanted to sleep in Jim's arms and now it was really happening! "I love you, James Ellison."

"I love you, Blair," Jim stated in a determined tone. "But now you need to get some sleep." Listening to Blair's heartbeat he realized that his lover was already asleep. The soft and regular breathing lured him into sleep as well. He tightened his hold on Blair and then followed his lover into the land of dreams

The end