TITLE: Cascade Shippers

AUTHOR: Scorpio

ARCHIVE: The Nesting Place, The Den, CKoS, anyone else just ask.

FANDOM: Buffy the Vampire Slayer/The Sentinel

PAIRING: Jim/Blair, Rafe/Megan

RATING: PG

CATEGORY: Crossover, Humor

DISCLAIMER: Pet Fly Productions own the Sentinel while Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy own Buffy. Scorpio owns a broken down computer and a twisted mind.

SUMMARY: The guys from Major Crimes get together after a hard day of crime-fighting to discuss their shared vice and addiction. Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

CASCADE SHIPPERS
by Scorpio

HENRI: I think that the Slayer should just give it up and sleep with Spike. He *obviously* adores her and I bet he could knock her socks off in the sack.

THE OTHERS: Ewwwww!

JIM: Don't be a goof, H. Buffy needs to suck it up and get back together with the commando guy. You know, Riley Finn. Just because a guy suffers from PTS doesn't mean he's not worth the effort.

THE OTHERS MINUS BLAIR: Ewwwww!

BLAIR: You're right sweetie. Not about Buffy getting back with Riley, but about the PTS.

JIM: Thanks. I think.

MEGAN: Not to be a traditionalist here, but I think Buffy and Angel is the only choice. I mean, they were just so tragically romantic together.

RAFE: Megan-luv. That's beautiful. Except you're forgetting about the whole, bumping uglies with Angel equals undead psycho.

BLAIR: Rafe's right Megan. Sorry. Besides, Angel has the hots for Wesley and Spike should be with Xander. *Anya* should get together with Buffy.

THE OTHERS: ::turn and blink rapidly while each pauses to picture the mechanics of those combinations:: Ewwwwww!

HENRI: You're all nuts. You especially Hairboy. It should be *Spike and Buffy*. Angel is out because of the curse. I agree with that, but Xander and Anya are great together. I mean, what red-blooded American man *wouldn't* want a hot babe who was addicted to sex and had a head for making money by playing the market? Right Simon.

SIMON: Don't look at me. I think you're all strange for even caring who sleeps with who when they live in a town overrun by vampires. I would assume that is the more important thing. Personally I think it would be easier if *we* could just dust *our* bad guys the way they do. ::sighs:: IA wouldn't like that though.

THE OTHERS: ::blinks while they all pause to consider turning people like Lash, Kincade and Wilson into neat piles of dust and ash:: Yeah.

SIMON: Besides, everyone knows that Spike and Drusilla are made for each other. *Not* Spike and Buffy. And if you ask me, that little redheaded witch is *far* scarier than any bad guy they've ever faced. That magic stuff gives me the shivers.

BLAIR: How can you say that, Simon? I mean, the witches are *so* cool and I think it's great that the show displays them in such a positive manner. Not just as members of a religious sect that has suffered extreme violent persecution, but also as a homosexual couple.

JIM: ::hugs Blair:: I don't think that's what he meant Chief. I think he means how Willow got into that dark magic stuff at the end of season five. That *was* pretty freaky.

MEGAN: I still think that Buffy and Angel should get back together. I mean, they've been dangling this Shantu-whatsit thing in front of us. I say, turn the bloke human and let him get a leg over already.

RAFE: You're soooo romantic. And I agree with you about that Sha-sant-swits-whatever human destiny thing, but I think Angel would probably end up together with his secretary. Cordellia likes him and she's sweet and there isn't all that guilt associated with her the way it is with Buffy.

MEGAN: No, Cordellia likes that half-demon buff guy from the Host's home world. Remember?

RAFE: Oh yeah... Um, what about Fred?

THE OTHERS: Ewwwww!

BLAIR: I *still* think that Spike and Xander should hook up. I mean, they've got this whole dynamic between them and I think it would translate into sparks between the sheets. You could even bring either Anya *or* Dru into it to make a threesome.

JIM: Kinky, Darwin, very kinky.

HENRI and RAFE: Ewwwww!

MEGAN: Well, I'm not too crazy about that Anya girl. She's just a bit too callus for my tastes. I have visions of the Sunnydale PD being called to Xander's apartment on a Homicide Case with those two. After all, didn't she spend several centuries pulling men apart at the seams?

THE OTHERS: ::cringe as they picture just which part Anya would pull off first::

HENRI: Okay, fine. So Anya *isn't* they best girl for the boy. How about Xander and Buffy? They seemed to be getting really close at the end of season five. Maybe she's finally seen just what has been under her nose all this time?

SIMON: You're all still missing the point. Look. These... *kids* are running around town with all these weapons, fighting off demons and vampires and where is the Sunnydale PD is all this? Why aren't the local cops aware of what's going on? Hell folks, why aren't the detectives detecting? If *we* were down there in southern California...

JIM: We'd clean that town up right. Dust some vamps. Arrest the idiots who let them feed and breed.

THE OTHERS: Yeah! We'd *own* that town.

SIMON: I mean, where do those cops think all those dead people come from? How come no one at the ME's office doesn't wonder about all those bite wounds? Why isn't the SWAT Team outfitted with stakes and flame-throwers?

BLAIR: You go Simon. Get in touch with your inner Slayer.

SIMON: ::growls and chomps on the end of his unlit cigar::

THE OTHERS: ::chuckles::

HENRI: I *still* think Buffy and Spike...

THE OTHERS: ::groan::