Loki! You’ve Got Some Splainin’ to Do!

Author: Greenupstreet

Fandom: The Sentinel/Stargate SG-1

Pairings: Jim/Blair, Jack/Daniel

Feedback: Please.

Warnings: Mpreg (sort of), m/m, m/f. Aliens being naughty (no, not like that, at least not this time) Unbeta’d!

Rating: NC-17.

Disclaimer: I can’t remember who the boys belong to, but I know they are not mine. (Heavy sigh).

Summary: Loki has been naughty again, but it’s the boys who pay!

Loki! You’ve Got Some Splainin’ to Do!

by Greenupstreet

On an unnamed planet half a galaxy from Earth…

Thor was as agitated as it was possible for an Asgard to be. "Loki, it was made quite plain that no further interference with the humans was to be tolerated. Yet, here you are with two human specimens. How are we to explain this to the SGC?"

"We do not have to tell them. These humans have many enemies amongst their own kind. Their disappearance would not be considered unusual. And I could continue my work to help our people."

"Loki…"

"These specimens are truly extraordinary!"

"Loki, we will contact the SGC. They will return these humans to their homes. Hopefully, Colonel O’Neill and his people will come up with a satisfactory explanation for their absence. I do not wish to hear another word!" Thor emphasized when Loki made as if to speak again.

"Yes, Thor." Thor turned to contact his human friends, so he did not see the calculating look in Loki’s eyes.

***

A short time later at the SGC…

***

Thor, Loki, General Hammond, and SG-1 were gathered together in the conference room.

General Hammond, feeling a migraine coming on, glared at Earth’s sometime allies. "I don’t believe what I’m hearing. Thor, you assured us this would not happen again."

"The Asgard are just as displeased as you are, General Hammond. Loki’s actions have been very embarrassing to us as a whole. Our only desire is to resolve the present situation."

"Situation!" Loki exclaimed. "Our people are facing extinction!"

"Not imminently, Loki," Thor pointed out. "And it is due to the efforts of the humans that we have time to solve our problems in a ‘constructive’ manner."

"I have a question," said Daniel. Jack rolled his eyes as if to say ‘So what else is new?’ Daniel ignored him with the ease of long practice. "Why these particular humans? Loki, what was so special about these two men that you took the risk of your superiors wrath?"

"They are unique specimens," was Loki’s only response.

"Loki!" said Jack. "You’ve got some ‘splainin to do!" Colonel O’Neill would thereafter protest that he didn’t know what possessed him to respond in that fashion.

No one who really knew him ever believed it.

***

Back on the unnamed planet…

***

The Asgard and SG-1 stepped through the Stargate. Loki reported that the two humans had been in stasis the entire time and would have no memory of their abduction.

"Okay," Jack declared as the team made their way through Loki’s laboratory complex. "Let’s get the frozen guys back home."

"I’m still not comfortable with the plan," said Daniel. "They’ve been missing for three weeks, and we’re just going to dump them in their living room and leave?"

"We talked out all the other options, Daniel," said Sam. Her eyes were darting here and there, hoping she could retain enough about the technology to write it down when they returned. "Nobody, including you, came up with anything better."

"A little mystery in your life adds character," said Jack off-handedly.

"I shall endeavor to remind you of that the next time an alien race tampers with your mind, O’Neill," said Teal’c.

"Funny, T." The team stopped when they caught up with the Asgard, who were staring fixedly at two empty transparent cylinders. "Hey, guys," said Jack. "What’s the holdup?"

After a moment, Thor said, "There appears to be a difficulty."

"I don’t want to hear that, Thor!"

"Yet, I am afraid I must say it. The two humans appear to be…gone."

"Gone?" echoed Daniel.

Loki was touching some crystals on a panel nearby. "It seems that there was a power fluctuation during our absence. It was very brief…"

"But long enough for our Popsicle pals to escape. Swell." Jack adjusted his cap and sighed. "Okay, campers, we’ve got lost people to find. Let’s go."

The search was abruptly rendered moot when Carter was grabbed from behind by six-foot-two of very angry man. Sam found a strong arm around her throat and another pinning her gun arm behind her back. "He’s got me, Sir," she said, her teeth gritted in suppressed rage.

"Put down your weapons!" yelled Jim. "Sandburg!" At the opposite end of the room, a shorter man with long, curly brown hair and a dazed expression appeared. "Sandburg, you okay?" The other man remained silent. "Sandburg!" The young man seemed to shake himself.

"Now calm down, guys," said Daniel.

"Shut up! Chief!"

"Jim, they’re aliens." Blair couldn’t seem to take his eyes off the Asgard. "They’re real freaking aliens!"

At that moment, O’Neill took advantage of Jim’s attention to Blair. After signaling to Teal’c with his eyes, Jack faked a move to one side. When Jim tracked him with his eyes, Teal’c moved in and overpowered him.

This had the unhappy effect of waking Blair from his trance.

"No!" he screamed, and the young man began chucking objects from a nearby table at the team.

Blair reached for a silvery sphere covered with glyphs. Daniel mentally translated one of the symbols. When he realized it was a warning, he shouted, "Don’t touch that!"

He ran over to Blair and tried to snatch the object from his hand. As they both touched it, Daniel heard an audible click. Oh, crap, he thought just as the world went black.

Those assembled saw a golden haze surround the two men. It dissipated after a few seconds, and they fell to the ground. In doing so, they let go of the sphere, which shattered on impact.

Jack quickly zatted Ellison and SG-1 rushed to the side of their fallen comrade.

***

At the SGC Twelve Hours Later…

***

The young man, now known as Blair Sandburg, and Daniel were still unconscious. Janet Fraiser was working hard at getting them to wake up, while at the same time keeping Ellison unconscious.

"An ex-Ranger!" Jack raged. "That would have been useful to know!"

"Colonel, stand down," ordered General Hammond. "It wouldn’t have mattered if there hadn’t been a power failure."

"And that wouldn’t have mattered if Loki could have kept his mitts to himself!"

"Agreed, but there’s no help for that now. Our priority is finding out what’s wrong with Dr. Jackson and Mr. Sandburg. Is there anything the Asgard can do, Major Carter?"

"Apparently not, Sir. Loki claims he has no idea what the purpose of the device could be." Sam was feeling a little better now that she knew an experienced Ranger had gotten the drop on her and not a rank civilian. However, she was very concerned about Daniel.

"It was in his lab," insisted Jack. "How could he not know?"

"Strange as it sounds, it came with the lab. The planet and the building had been abandoned for some time. The silver sphere was one of a number of artifacts Loki discovered there and intended to investigate at a later date. We’ve had our archeological team check out some scrolls that were left behind. In seems the lab was originally built by the Goa’uld."

"Which Goa’uld, Major?" asked Hammond.

She had been afraid he’d ask that question. "Well, it seems it was…Nirrti."

"Nirrti!" Jack roared.

"Colonel," warned the General.

There was a rap at the door, and Janet Fraiser entered the room. "Excuse me, but someone would like to speak to you." Janet stood aside and Daniel entered the room.

"I’m back," he said.

"Daniel!" said Jack. All of SG-1 ran to hug their Daniel, led by Jack who hugged him tighter.

"Just don’t call me Spacemonkey, okay Jack? I still haven’t lived that down from the last time."

"Janet," said Sam happily. "You’re a miracle worker."

"I wish I could take the credit, but Daniel and Mr. Sandburg woke up on their own. I immediately sedated Mr. Sandburg," she assured them. "I’ve run all the tests I can, but they both appear to be completely normal."

"But this is Nirrti’s work we’re talking about," said Jack. "So who knows? Damn, the bitch is dead, and she’s still causing trouble."

"Regardless," said General Hammond. "The present crisis appears to be over. I suggest we take our guests home and hope for the best." Nobody was really comfortable about it, but, again, no one had a better idea.

***

Three Days Later in Cascade, Washington…

***

Simon was sitting on a chair in the loft, puffing furiously on a cigar. Jim and Blair were slumped on the couch, exhausted.

"All right, you two. Enough is enough. I heard that cock and bull story you gave the FBI and the press. No memory of where you were and what happened to you. Bull. Even if it never leaves this room, I want the truth and I want it now!"

Jim and Blair looked at each other. "Simon," said Jim. "You really don’t want to know."

"Simon, he’s right. Listen to Jim."

"Tell me. Now."

"Okay," said Jim, sitting up very straight. "We were abducted by aliens from outer space."

"And the Air Force," added Blair.

"And the Air Force," agreed Jim.

Simon was about to snarl something at them, but he caught the look on their faces.

"Aliens?"

They nodded.

"The Air Force?"

Again, they nodded.

Simon blinked for a moment. He stood up, went to where he knew Jim kept a bottle of scotch. He fetched it and three glasses and brought them back to the couch. He poured each of them a stiff drink. They all gulped it down. Quickly.

When Simon’s vocal cords were functional, he said, "We’re going to pretend this never happened, aren’t we?"

Jim and Blair nodded.

And all was well - for a while.

***

Two Thirty-Eight AM

Twenty-Fourth Day

Colorado Springs. Colorado

***

Jack drove through the nearly deserted streets of Colorado Springs, hoping and praying that his best friend was all right. A few minutes earlier, he received a frantic phone call from Daniel.

"Jack, please, come here. Quickly. I need you so badly."

"What?" he said, looking at his digital alarm clock with bleary eyes. Two-Thirty AM? "Daniel?"

"Jack, I’m at my apartment. Please come."

"Daniel, are you sick? Should I call Janet?"

"NO! I need you, Jack. Hurry." Daniel disconnected before Jack could ask any more questions.

Jack dressed at breakneck speed. He drove to Daniel’s apartment building, blessing the near empty streets at that early hour. Not bothering to knock, Jack used his emergency key to get in.

"Daniel?"

"I’m in the bedroom, Jack."

"Christ, you are sick, aren’t you? I knew I should have…" Jack ran into the room and then stopped dead. There stood Daniel, but, was it Daniel?

"Daniel?"

"Yes, Jack," he crooned.

Crooned? "Um, you’re naked."

"Excellent powers of observation, Jack."

Daniel moved closer to Jack until they were nearly touching.

"Yeah, well, I’m observing something pretty strange here, Daniel."

"Oh? What would that be?"

"You’ve got tits, and your dick seems to have disappeared."

"Really? I hadn’t noticed."

***

Same Time

Cascade, Washington

***

Jim sat straight up in the bed. "What the hell?" He heard it again. Blair was moaning as if in severe pain. Jim raced down the stairs and opened the door to his Guide’s bedroom. "Blair? Dear God!"

Blair lay on his futon, writhing in agony. "Jim! Help me." In any other circumstances, Jim would be dialing 911 while simultaneously administering first aid, but he was stopped in his tracks by the sight before him. Surrounding his Guide was a golden haze. The same golden haze that engulfed him several weeks before when they had been…taken. "Chief, tell me what to do. I don’t know what to do!" Then, to Jim’s intense relief, the glow faded. Blair stopped writhing. He sat up in bed, looked at Jim, and smiled. Blair looked as if he felt fine, but there was something not right. Something that he couldn’t quite put his finger on. "Chief? How do you feel? Are you okay?"

"Oh, yes, Jim," Blair said in a throaty sigh. "I feel wonderful." Blair held out his arms. "Hold me, Big Guy."

The needle on Jim’s weirdness meter went into the red. "Maybe I’d better get you to a doctor. It isn’t normal to go from agony to ‘wonderful’ in a few minutes time."

"No!" Blair insisted. "I don’t need a doctor. I need you." Jim took a deep breath, prepared to argue until Blair agreed to go to the hospital. However, with the air that filled his lungs came the most - intriguing - fragrance.

It was Blair, but at the same time it was something more. Something earthy and primal that made his nostrils flair, his pulse race, and his body temperature rise. Jim inhaled deeply, and oh it was so good and right. His instincts were screaming at him. Take your Guide! Take your mate, Sentinel.

Not far away on another plane of reality, Incacha was shaking his head. "Only you, Enqueri. Become, Sentinel and Guide."

Jim had no problem with any of the subliminal messages he was getting. He stripped himself quickly, and Blair removed what little he was wearing.

"Jim," Blair breathed. He - she - was beautiful. Jim caught his breath, the sight of Blair in full glory humbling him. A small part of Jim’s mind that still contained some rationality was trying to tell him that Blair shouldn’t have breasts. Blair should have a penis. Jim joined Blair in the bed and told his rational mind to stuff it.

He took Blair’s breasts in his hands. They were small, but they fit perfectly. He caressed the nipples and Blair moaned in ecstasy.

"Jim," he cried, "Take me now, please."

Jim did. And it was more than either of them could ever have imagined.

***

SGC
Two Hours Later

***

A frantic Dr. Fraiser and a weary General Hammond met in the infirmary. They were joined soon after by Carter and Teal’c.

"Colonel O’Neill is on his way down to the infirmary with Dr. Jackson," said General Hammond. "Does anyone here know what’s going on?"

"No Sir," said Janet. "Apparently, Colonel O’Neill wanted all of us to meet here."

"Here!" said Jack, puffing his way into the room with a blanket wrapped Daniel over his shoulder. He plopped his bundle onto a nearby bed and collapsed into a chair. "God!" he groaned. "Daniel needs to lose about six inches off that ass!"

"DanielJackson is ill?" asked Teal’c.

"Let me call for some help, and I’ll examine him," said Janet.

"NO!" screamed Jack. They all stared at him. "For Daniel’s sake, don’t call anybody else in here. Janet, please, examine him first, and then you’ll understand."

"Very well, Colonel," said Janet, looking at him strangely. She pulled the curtain around the bed and started a preliminary examination.

"Colonel O’Neill, I want an explanation," said Hammond in a way that told him to skip the bull.

"Sir, I’ll tell you anything you want to know after Janet finishes in there. Otherwise, you won’t believe it. Hell, I didn’t believe it until, well…um…."

"Dear God!" Janet exclaimed form behind the curtain.

"Ah, there you go," said Jack.

Janet came out from behind the curtain looking extremely pale. "Janet," said Sam, "what on earth is wrong?"

Janet took a deep breath. "I’d have to do some more tests to be certain, but Daniel appears to be a woman."

"A woman!" said the General. "How?"

"Nirrti!" said SG-1 in perfect unison.

"Yes sir," said Jack. "If that bitch could turn a grown man into a puddle of water, turning a man into a woman would be child’s play to her."

"I have to agree," said Sam. "It’s the only possible explanation."

"Indeed," said Teal’c. "However, you seem to have forgotten something. Or should I say someone?"

They looked blank for a moment. It was Janet who remembered first. "Mr. Sandburg!"

"Ah, crap."

***

Four Hours Later

Cascade, Washington

***

Jim stirred and stretched. God, I feel good! Like I’ve had the best sex ever. But what a weird dream. Imagine, Blair as a woman. Incredibly sexy woman, but a woman? Jim stretched again, and then froze. He was not alone, and he was not in his own bed. Involuntarily, Jim opened his eyes. Curled up snuggly against his chest was a warm body. A warm, female body with Blair’s face. It was real! What the hell are we going to do? A wave of fierce protectiveness surged through the Sentinel. He held his Guide close and swore he would never let anyone or anything come between them.

He was so concentrated on Blair, Jim was startled when someone pounded on the door. He gently disengaged himself from the still sleeping Sandburg and went to answer it.

"Who’s there?" he called through the closed door.

"Mr. Ellison, I’m Major Samantha Carter. We met before under some not very desirable circumstances."

"I don’t remember meeting any Major Carter."

"Well, Sir, you had your arm around my throat at the time." Jim listened carefully. There was only one heartbeat behind the door. He threw it open and pulled the startled blonde inside.

"What the hell did you do to us? What did you do to Blair?"

"Sir, please, nothing was supposed to happen to Mr. Sandburg. It was an accident, and one of our people was affected as well. We’re trying to help him, and we’d like to help Mr. Sandburg. Think about it. What choice do you have?"

Jim was agonizing over the decision when he heard, "Jim! What happened to me? What the hell has happened to me?"

Jim knew he had no choice.

***

At the Same Time

SGC

***

In the infirmary, Daniel was beginning to stir. "Jack," he moaned in his semi-conscious state. "Jack, need you."

"Can’t you put him out again?" Jack asked Janet with some agitation.

"I’ve tried. I’ve upped the dosage of the sedative as much as I dare. He keeps fighting his way to consciousness.

"By the way, you took a serious risk dosing him with leftover pain pills in whiskey."

"Jeeze, Janet, it was the only thing I could think of to get him here! I couldn’t keep it up much longer!" Jack winced at the unintentional pun.

"That was also a big risk! Did you at least use protection?"

"After what happened with Kynthia, I never go anywhere, on world or off, without at least a half dozen condoms in my pocket." Daniel’s moans were becoming louder.

"Jack?" His eyes opened, and Daniel locked his/her blue eyes onto Jack’s brown ones. "Jack, please, I need you!" He contorted his body within the confines of the restraints.

Janet was appalled. "He seems to be in actual pain!"

"He is," Jack said with despair. "That’s why I gave in." Daniel just needed sex with somebody to ease his pain, and not because he wanted me. Jack told himself to stop being a selfish jerk, and tried to concentrate on Daniel’s problem. "He’s going to be in agony in a few minutes, Janet. What can we do?"

With a very unhappy expression, Janet went to a cabinet and retrieved a large package. She handed it to Jack, who moaned. It was a large economy box of condoms.

"You can take him to one of the isolation rooms. I’ll make sure you’re not disturbed." She patted his shoulder in her most comforting manner. "No one will know who doesn’t have to, Jack. I promise."

"It’s not me I’m worried about, Janet. Daniel…"

"I know, Jack. We’ll protect him."

Sighing, Jack tucked the box under his arm and went to unfasten Daniel’s restraints.

"Jack?"

"It’s okay, Daniel," Jack said in soothing tones. "We’re going someplace we can…be alone."

"Oh good," said Daniel happily.

Jack led Daniel to the isolation room. This is not nearly as much fun as you would think, he reflected with sadness.

***

SGC
Two Hours Later

***

Jim and Blair were in the SGC conference room. Also in the room were General Hammond, Major Carter, Teal’c and Dr. Fraiser. The General explained that Colonel O’Neill and Dr. Jackson were ‘occupied’.

After a very long and very complicated explanation, Jim said, "Let me get this straight. We’re in a secret war with aliens from another planet. We have allies, who are also aliens. One of our supposed allies kidnapped us…"

"Which they’re really sorry about," said Carter.

Jim grunted. "So, Blair and this Jackson were accidentally exposed to this alien device which turned them into women."

Blair shifted uncomfortably in his…her…chair. Fortunately, she usually wore baggy shirts, so her new breasts were covered. However, Blair now had hips, so the jeans were too tight in some places and too loose in others. Blair couldn’t bring himself…herself to even look Jim in the face much less talk.

Damn, Blair thought. I don’t even know how to think of myself! He/she/it? Blair tried to concentrate on what was being said.

"That about covers it," agreed General Hammond. "We sincerely regret that you and Mr. Sandburg were mixed up in this, and we’ll do everything in our power to put things right."

"The first thing we need to do," piped up Janet, "is to find out how Mr. Sandburg retained his rationality."

"Excuse me?" said Blair, speaking up for the first time.

Janet sighed. "The reason Colonel O’Neill and Dr. Jackson aren’t here is because they’re still…well…" Spit it out, Janet, you’re a doctor, for God’s sake! she scolded herself. "They’re still engaged in sexual intercourse."

"Still?" said Jim, his eyebrows lifting almost to his hairline.

"Apparently, unless Daniel participates in sexual intercourse at least every hour or so, he experiences acute distress and even pain. Needless to say," continued Dr. Fraiser, "Colonel O’Neill is getting somewhat fatigued."

"I’d say," said Blair.

"So what we need to do is find out why you’ve been able to change without needing intimate contact."

Jim and Blair met each other’s eyes and Blair, to his horror, blushed.

General Hammond read their body language and said, "Is there something you’d like to tell us, Mr. Sandburg?"

"We did," Jim answered, to Blair’s relief. "When Blair changed, we did…um…engage in. You know."

"How often?" Janet asked quickly.

"Just once," supplied Blair. "We kind of fell asleep after."

"Hold on," said Carter excitedly. "When you two, well, did it, did you use protection?" Carter saw the stunned look on both their faces and the dawning horror.

"General," said Carter, "I think I know how to help the Colonel and Daniel." Carter winced in sympathy for the two people in front of her. Sandburg buried her head in her hands and Ellison was patting her shoulder and awkwardly trying to offer support.

***

SGC Infirmary

A Few Hours Later

***

Daniel Jackson’s eyes opened. "Sam? Janet?"

Carter and Fraiser smiled down at the confused archaeologist. "Hi, Sleeping Beauty," said Carter. "How do you feel?"

"Like crap." The two women smiled.

"Anything else?" prompted Janet.

"Really tired. I had this really weird dream, too. I might tell you about it someday, when I’m drunk enough." Daniel started, looked down at the hospital gown, and lifted it up. "Oh, my God. It wasn’t a dream!" Daniel dropped the offending garment. "Jack?"

Daniel followed their gaze and saw Jack sleeping on a nearby bed. "He’s fine," Janet answered Daniel’s unasked question. "He fell asleep as soon as we determined you’d be okay."

"What a nightmare! I knew it was wrong but I just had to…and Jack was the first to come to mind… Damn. Wait a minute. How did you get me to stop…wanting sex?"

"Well," said Sam, "lacking any other resources, we had to make some pretty wild assumptions.

"First, that this was the desired effect. We just had to hope this wasn’t some failed experiment that Nirrti abandoned. Second, that the purpose was to quickly increase the ranks of Nirrti’s Jaffa. Third, that the constant state of arousal was to encourage rapid conception. Nirrti wouldn’t have cared about the Jaffa’s sensibilities, she would simply want them to get on with it. And, last, that the arousal would abate upon completion. This last assumption was based on Blair Sandburg’s behavior following his…well…her conversion."

"Oh, crap, Sandburg! Is he alright?"

"She," Janet gently corrected. "Yes, Blair is about as well as can be expected. It’s too soon to tell just yet, but I suspect she’s pregnant."

Daniel shot up in the bed. "Janet! I’m not, am I? I mean, I know it was bad, but you…I mean Jack…didn’t?"

"Daniel, relax," Sam assured him. "You’re not pregnant." She directed Daniel’s attention to a transparent patch on her upper arm.

"What’s that?"

"Transdermal patch," Janet answered. "You’re on the pill."

"What!"

"When I realized that Ellison and Sandburg had had unprotected sex," explained Carter, "and that Sandburg was coherent after, I had a theory. The arousal that accompanied the transformation was to ensure that the chosen couple had sex quickly. My theory was that as soon as the presence of seminal fluid was detected in the body the arousal would cease."

"Eeeew," said Daniel, "TMI, Sam. So, that’s where this thing came in?" Daniel indicated the patch.

"Precisely," said Janet. "It prevented you from getting pregnant, while at the same time allowing the proper fluids to be…"

"I get it, Janet," Daniel interrupted. "Now what?"

"Now," continued Sam, "two things could happen. One, you live out your life as a woman."

"No way," said Daniel firmly. "Don’t get me wrong, if I had been born a woman, fine, but I like the original Daniel Jackson just fine."

"Two, and this is my theory, you’ll change back in a few days."

"Huh? Sam, as much as I’d like to believe the second theory, how do you get that?"

"Pure inductive reasoning," Sam announced triumphantly. "You didn’t change right after your exposure to the alien device. It wasn’t until almost exactly twenty-three days had gone by. My guess, you’ll be a woman for five days."

"Okay, I’ll bite. Why five days?"

"It completes the cycle. A woman’s estrus cycle is approximately twenty-eight days. A normal woman would have five days where she isn’t fertile, whereas you and Mr. Sandburg…"

"Will have five days when we are. Dear God, you mean this is permanent? Five days out of twenty-eight we’ll be women?"

"Only time will tell," said Carter. "But that’s what it looks like."

"Crap!"

***

VIP room in the SGC

Same Time

***

Blair sat on the bed brooding. Jim was sitting at a table nearby, drinking coffee and looking at Blair with evident worry on his face.

"Okay," said Blair, "let me have it."

"Have what, Chief?"

"I’ve screwed everything up. Not only am I a freak, I’m a knocked up freak. I’ve also dragged you into the Sandburg Zone with no way out."

Jim sighed and put down his coffee. He walked over to the bed and sat down by his partner.

"Chief, first of all, you’re not a freak. Trust me, I’m an expert on the subject."

Encouraged by the brief smile on Blair’s face, he continued, "And there is no way that this is your fault. You didn’t get us captured by aliens. You didn’t intentionally get turned into a woman. And if you are knocked up, I’ll be the happiest man alive. Because I love you."

"You love a ‘woman’, Jim."

"That’s where you’re wrong, Chief. I’ve loved you since the Switchman case."

For the first time, Blair felt what his friends usually did when they entered ‘The Sandburg Zone.’ "Jim? What are you saying?"

"I’m saying that the only reason I never jumped your bones was because I didn’t want to scare you away. I knew you were attracted to me. Don’t be so shocked, I am a Sentinel, you know. I just wanted something more than sexual attraction. I wanted love."

Blair’s emotions were in a whirl. "Damn, I knew you were the king of repression, but…"

"Let me finish. After the dissertation fiasco, I knew you felt the same way about me. A person doesn’t give up their ‘Holy Grail’ for anything less than love. I just hadn’t worked up the nerve to tell you before this happened."

Blair buried her head in her hands, again. "God, we’re dumb."

"Well, we’re guys. Some people might argue that’s the same thing."

"Not anymore," Blair commented, regarding his no longer flat chest.

Jim allowed himself to smile. "I have to say, you make a really sexy woman. But you were pretty damn sexy as a man, too."

"What if I’m never a man again? Or if I’m pregnant?"

"Either way, we’ll deal."

Jim and Blair melted into each other’s arms, and their bodies folded together as if made for that purpose. "So," said Blair, "you wanna screw? I’d like to see how it is with my head on straight."

"My pleasure," said Jim, and covered Blair’s mouth with a searing kiss.

***

SGC
Five Days Later

***

It turned out that Carter’s prediction was correct. On the fifth day, Daniel changed back to his usual gender. Blair didn’t, but by that time Janet had ascertained that Blair was, indeed, pregnant. After much soul searching by both parties, Jim and Blair decided to have the baby. And oh, by the way, "We think we know why the aliens wanted us, have you ever heard of Sentinels?" Thus, they started a whole new career. Again.

Jack was a man on a mission. He had been seeking out SG-1’s archaeologist for two days after Daniel’s return to normality. Jack had been doing some soul searching of his own, and he intended to share the results with Daniel come hell or high water.

He was in his office, of course. Jack mentally kicked himself for not thinking of that first. Also, he was alone, which fitted the bill perfectly.

Daniel looked up when Jack entered the room. He fidgeted with his ever-present cup of coffee. "Jack, hello. I wasn’t expecting you. I’m afraid I have an appointment with…Janet. Maybe we talk later." Daniel darted for the door. Jack, utilizing his special ops training, neatly blocked his retreat.

"No way, Daniel. You’ve been ducking me long enough."

"I don’t know what you mean," Daniel said, not meeting Jack’s eyes.

"Yes, you do. I was doing some ducking myself, at first. Then, I got to thinking."

"Why does that make me nervous?" asked Daniel, pushing up his glasses.

Jack ignored him. "I was thinking that the reason you called me that night was because you were aching, literally, to get laid, and I was convenient. Then it hits me. You could have called Davis, and don’t you tell me you haven’t noticed him eyeing you, Daniel. You could have called Graham Simmons. You could have called Teal’c, for God’s sake. But you didn’t. When you were in need you…called…me." With those last few words, Jack had Daniel backed up against the wall. He carefully took the cup of coffee out of Daniel’s hand and put it on his desk. He did the same to Daniel’s glasses.

"Jack?" Daniel asked, but he was unable to continue, as Jack had firmly planted his lips onto Daniel’s.

Too shocked to resist, Daniel fell into the kiss. Jack’s tongue entwined around his, and his knees buckled. He stayed upright only because he was between the wall and Jack’s strong, lean body. They broke the kiss in a gasp, both of them needing to breathe.

"Jack, what the Hell are you doing? The camera!" With a smirk, Jack pointed up. Daniel looked in that direction and found himself staring at the bottom of the security camera.

"Blind spot," Jack explained. "But that’s not the only one. Had one myself until recently."

"Did you know," Jack continued, running his hands up and down Daniel’s arms, "that I’m bi? Bisexual, that is?" Daniel, stunned, could only shake his head. "Yup, I’m a perfect five on the Kinsey scale. Which means that I like men and women equally."

As he was speaking, Jack had unbuckled Daniel’s belt and was diligently unbuttoning Daniel’s trousers.

"Did you know that I’ve loved you since we blew up Apophis’ ship? Well, that’s when I realized I loved you."

Daniel’s eyes widened. Damn, his eyes are really blue, thought Jack. You could drown in those eyes.

"Since…Jack that’s been years!"

"I know. So, how long have you been in love with me?"

Silence for a few moments. "You’re damn sure of yourself, aren’t you?" Jack just regarded him with his soft, brown eyes.

Daniel sighed. "Since Kynthia, and I realized you might die and all I could do was watch."

Jack smiled widely, and then he fell to his knees.

"What’s this? A proposal?"

"All in good time. Right now, it’s more like a proposition." Jack had Daniel’s boxers exposed. He reached in and pulled out a very hard cock.

Jack breathed heavily, his heart thumping like mad. Grinning, he proceeded to lick Daniel’s cock like a Popsicle. Daniel made a noise deep in his throat. Jack stopped and looked up.

"Hey, Danny boy, you sound like you’re in pain. Should I stop?"

"If you do, I’ll show you what pain is, flyboy!" There was a glint in Daniel’s eye that made Jack’s cock jump.

"Ooooh, nasty when frustrated." Jack proceeded to nibble on Daniel’s cock, and he teased his scrotum with his fingertips. Daniel moaned and cursed and pleaded with Jack to finish him. Now!

When Daniel was poised on the brink, Jack stopped to make one more comment. "I’m a perfect five, Daniel. And when I realized that I could have both my preferences in the one person I love more than my life? Sweet!" With that, Jack opened wide and swallowed his love whole.

"God!" Daniel screamed as he orgasmed.

"Nope, just Jack."

***

Nine months later, Jaime Sandburg Ellison was born in the SGC infirmary, and Blair changed back into his old self as soon as she was weaned.

What happened to our boys after that?

Well, that’s another story!

Finis