Title: Brotherly Love Part Two

Author: Tayla

Fandom: Simon & Simon

Pairing: Rick/AJ

Rating: NC17

Category: Angst, Romance

Status: Completed August 17, 2002

Archive: Please ask first. I'll probably say yes

Feedback: Yes, please. All constructive

criticism will be graciously accepted

Series/Sequel: Companion piece/sequel to "Brotherly Love"

Disclaimers: I don't own the characters, and I don't make any money from my stories.

Summary: In the aftermath of his drunken pass at AJ, Rick thinks about life and love and
how he can fix it.

Warnings: Slash. M/M sex and incest.

Brotherly Love 2
by Tayla

Man, I feel like shit.

I just woke up. Something crawled in my mouth and died. No, something crawled in my mouth, smoked a cigar then died. God I've got to stop drinking so much. But we were celebrating. We finished a tough case. So me and AJ and Town went out and it's just been so long since AJ and I have been able to relax I just got carried away.

I'm not sure how I got home. I vaguely remember getting into AJ's car. But if he got me home, how come I'm still dressed. AJ would have at least taken my boots off for me.

Okay let me get up and think about this for a minute and see what I can remember. Oh, sitting up is not a good idea right now. Let me lay here and think about this for a minute. Drinking bourbon, smoking cigars, laughing with AJ. It gets hazy after that. I remember throwing up, passing out, and dreaming about kissing AJ. Nothing unusual about that. The dreaming part I mean, that happens every night.

Wait a minute. How come I remember kissing AJ before I threw up and passed out?

Oh my God! I didn't dream it I really did it. I kissed him; I shoved him into the wall, groped his ass and stuck my tongue down his throat.

I've ruined everything. He's never gonna speak to me again. He's gonna tell Mom. God I'm about to lose my whole family. What the hell am I gonna do. I can't lose AJ. He's my whole life.

Stupid. Stupid sick perverted asshole. I molested my brother. He's gonna hate me now. Might as well just eat my gun and get it over with.

No. No, I guess I won't do that. I know better than to act on my impulses when I'm drunk or hungover. I just wish I had remembered that last night before I destroyed my life.

No help for it now I suppose. I'll have to face the music eventually. AJ's probably making arrangements right now to get my boat towed off his property. Well I'm not gonna face it smelling like a derelict. A shower won't make me feel better, but I suppose it will make me smell better.

************************

So I'm standing in the shower, wondering what I'm gonna do now that my life has gone to hell. How did I ever let it get this far? I tried, I swear I tried to bury these feelings for AJ. Tried to drown with booze. And women, all the women that I've been with trying to overcome my desire for my brother.

And the occasional man. AJ doesn't know about that. I take off for a few days every couple of months or so. AJ thinks I'm going down to Tijuana reliving the wild days of my youth. He doesn't know that I'm really going to San Francisco, picking up men.

But it doesn't help. I always think about him. I can't help it. It's his face I see when I come. His body I wish I were making love too. And I guess it always has been.

Ever since I've known what sex was about, I think I've wanted AJ. No I didn't really want to fuck my brother when he was nine years old. But I knew that sex was supposed to be about love, too. And I can't imagine ever loving anyone as much as I love AJ.

So I was fourteen, and messing around with another boy in my class. Even in the beginning I guess boys always did it for me more than girls. I suppose that makes me gay. I really never thought about that too much. When you're living with the taboo of incest, being homosexual isn't really such a big deal.

So I was involved with another boy. Neither of us had girlfriends, and we were both curious and horny and we figured 'Why not?' We took care of each other, and everything was fine. Until one day his older brother caught us . . . and joined us. I guess watching two brothers doing it put ideas in my head. And I haven't been able to get them out.

I never did anything about them. Not when AJ was so young. He was too young. And I knew it was wrong to feel that way for him. So I didn't do anything about my feelings. I watched him grow up, and I tried to be a substitute father for him, going to his ballgames and school plays and stuff.

As he got older, he started having girlfriends, and that was pure torture, 'cause now he was getting to be old enough. He was starting to think about sex. He even asked me for advice about girls a few times.

I think that was part of the reason I enlisted. So I wouldn't have to watch while AJ fell in love with someone else. I never did, never fell for anybody. Maybe I was waiting for him. Even though I knew I could never have him. He wasn't gay and he wasn't in love with me and he was old enough to take care of himself, so I went off to war.

I still think that part of me was hoping I would never come back. I could imagine AJ falling in love and getting married and having kids. I didn't know if I could stand that.

But I'm glad I didn't die. AJ and Mom had already lost Dad. I didn't think they would appreciate losing me too. So I came home. And AJ and I got to know each other again. I love working with him. We make a good team.

And so what if I have to go to San Francisco sometimes. If that's what it takes so I can keep my hands off AJ, so be it.

Except I didn't keep my hands off. One night of drunken excess, and I've gone and ruined everything.

The water's running cold now, so I best get out of the shower. I still have no idea what I'm gonna do to fix this, or even if it can be fixed, but at least I'm clean.

************************

I step out of the bathroom with a towel around my hips and there's AJ. I blink a couple times just to make sure he's really there and not some drunken delusion. He's standing there with his arms crossed, and I can't tell if he's mad or not, he's just staring at me. I take a step towards him but he stops me and maybe he's afraid of me now.

"I guess from the look on your face, that you remember what you did to me last night," he says, and I still can't tell how mad he is.

I try to apologize but he cuts me off. And he's staring at me. God, please don't be afraid of me, I would never hurt you, please just say something!

"Do it again" he whispers.

I'm confused for a moment, and I know that my brain isn't at it's best today, but then it dawns on me what he just asked me to do and I want to go to him then, but I just can't seem to move.

So he backs himself up into the wall, the same wall that I backed him into last night. "Do it again," he says, this time with more conviction.

I'm not exactly sure how I got to him. I don't remember walking. I must have floated because all of the sudden, I'm right front of him. He reaches out and wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me closer and I'm staring into his eyes and I'm thinking he couldn't mean it.

But he's still staring and his head is tilted back a little and his lips are slightly parted and I can't resist. I bring my mouth down on his and he immediately moans and parts his lips further and I dive in and God! he's sucking my tongue and his hands are on my ass. I shove a knee between his legs and he breaks the kiss with a gasp. He's staring again with wide blue eyes, and I can actually see the pulse in his throat jumping. He looks a bit startled but then the desire overshadows that.

"Rick . . . want you."

"Are you sure AJ? 'Cause I'm not gonna be able to stop."

Then his fear disappears entirely and he looks at me with love and not a little bit of lust. He shoves me backward towards the bed and strips off the T-shirt and jeans he's wearing. My God he's gorgeous. Pale and smooth and he looks so young. I draw him down onto the bed on top of me and he snatches my towel off and then it's just bare skin against bare skin. Then we're kissing again and I have wanted this for so long I don't know why I'm still in control. He looks down at me and I can tell he's a little nervous.

"Don't be scared AJ, I won't hurt you."

And he smiles at me so sweet. "I know that. But do you know . . . what to do?"

I flip us over so he's under me. "Yes, Baby Brother, I know what to do. I'll take care of you." I whisper to him. And he groans deep in his throat and then I'm kissing him again.

There's so much I want to do. I want to suck his cock; I want to fuck his pretty ass and hear him moaning my name while I'm doing it to him. But I can't seem to pull my mouth away from his. I can feel his cock throbbing against my leg and I shift my hips until we're lined up. Then I'm even less inclined to stop what I'm doing and I start thrusting against him. I've got my hands in his hair and he's got his hands on my ass and we're kissing and the rhythm is just perfect and the moment is perfect and I don't think it could be more perfect even if we were really fucking. Then I realize that it's so perfect because we're not 'fucking', were making love. It's hard to breathe, but I don't stop kissing him. The kissing is more important that air, and he's thrashing under me and thrusting his tongue into my mouth and then he whimpers in the back of his throat. I feel a wetness between us and I know that he's just come. I just made my Baby Brother come, and that pushes me over, god, so good, so good, and I almost pass out from it.

I roll off of him and we're both panting and I've never felt this good in my whole life. He finds the discarded towel and wipes us both off. And then he snuggles up to me and rests his head on my chest and closes his eyes.

"AJ, we need to talk."

"No," he mumbles into my chest. "Need to sleep."

I kiss the top of his head. "C'mon AJ. Talk."

He lifts his head and he's a bit bleary eyed, but he's smiling. "No," he insists. "We need to sleep. I know I didn't sleep at all last night. And you don't sleep well when you're drunk." He leans up and places a gentle kiss on my lips. "Go to sleep, Rick. We've got nothing else to do today."

"Sleep now, but later we talk. Okay?"

"Yes, among other things."

"What other things?" I ask in confusion.

"Talk, eat, shower." He smiles shyly at me. "Make love again?"

I draw his face back down to mine and kiss him, long and slow and sweet. "Oh yes, definitely make love again. Anything you want, Baby Brother."


end part 2