Title: Clueless

Author: Hergerbabe

Fandom: Smallville

Pairing: Clark/Lex

Rating: NC-17

Category: first times, h/c, angst

Warnings: Yeah, yeah underage sex, *if* you believe Clark is only 15, which I resolutely don’t. Mention of past rape. Spoilers for Hug.

Archive: yes to list archives

Disclaimer: Unfortunately these guys don’t belong to me either :(

For Christine as always

Clueless
by Hergerbabe

"Are you sure?" Lex looked doubtfully at his younger friend. Clark nodded vehemently.

"C’mon Lex. Why do I always have to do the right thing? Just this once, I’d like to not have to think about being good, being careful *all* the time, I just want to have some fun," Clark gazed down at his friend pleadingly.

He didn’t even notice Lex’s frown, he just wanted to get out of Smallville for a while, not feel so stifled. And, if he was totally honest, he just wanted to spend time alone with Lex. Lex, who was now looking somewhat bemused. Clark sighed and sat down on the bale of straw behind him.

It hadn’t been that much of a shock to him to realise that he’d been seeking Lex’s company more than anyone else’s. Right from the start, when he’d breathed life into his friend’s lungs, there had been something, some sort of recognition almost. At first, he’d almost been relieved that Lex kept pushing him at Lana, but at the same time, he couldn’t help but notice that Lex seemed to seek him out just as much. Maybe it was his imagination, but Clark didn’t think so, he was almost certain that Lex watched him, felt something too.

He just wanted to get away from everything and everyone and spend time with Lex, time in which he could try and see if he was right. Because he’d finally accepted that he was in love with another guy, with Lex.

Lex raised his hands pacifyingly, a little worried by how almost despairing Clark seemed. And a little confused as to what Clark had meant by being careful all the time.

"Okay," he said quickly. He never could resist Clark anyway, but with that hang dog expression, there was no way he could say no. Lex was pretty sure he knew what his father would say if he knew about this weakness. Lionel Luthor was never going to find out if Lex could possibly help it.

But the smile that lit up Clark’s face made it worth it, even the potential trouble they could both get into by him agreeing to this.

"Really?" Clark breathed out heavily in excitement and surprise.

"Yeah, why not," Lex shrugged nonchalantly. It was one thing for him to agree, quite another to show how enthusiastic he was feeling. Damn, this was such a bad idea. For a split second, Lex considered changing his mind, but Clark had already jumped to his feet and had started to drag him out of the loft and back to the house.

"Come on then," Clark grinned at him, almost bouncing with barely suppressed glee.

"What, now?" Lex blinked as he was led through the Kent’s house and up to Clark’s bedroom. Oh shit, he really didn’t need to know what the inside of Clark’s room looked like, it occupied his dreams often enough without the element of accuracy adding to it.

"Yeah, please, can we?" Clark looked uncertain. He hoped Lex wasn’t about to change his mind. "Mom and Dad are only away for tonight and tomorrow."

"I said yes, didn’t I?" Lex shook his head with a small laugh. "I just wasn’t expecting it to be right now. What if they phone though, isn’t that what gave your party away?"

"Ah, but they already phoned, and I told them I was going to sleep in the loft to check out a comet," Clark grinned.

"Oh dear, I think your father was right," Lex snickered.

"Huh? How?" Clark started pulling his clothes off.

Oh dear God. Lex swallowed and looked away as casually as he could when Clark’s chest was revealed. "Uh, oh yeah," Lex swore at himself for allowing himself to lose his train of thought, "You know, me, bad influence?"

Clark made a rude noise, "He just doesn’t know you."

"Oh, and you do?" Lex sounded amused, but he actually felt quite nervous. Clark did know him, probably better than most. But just *how* well, he couldn’t tell.

Clark looked at his friend and smiled, "Yeah, I do." He watched Lex closely as he slipped off his pants and was happily surprised to see a faint flush of colour suffuse the normally pale skin. He’d also noticed how his friend hadn’t looked at him properly since he’d started undressing.

He pulled on a pair of tight jeans that he’d actually almost grown out of, but that were still long enough, and a tank top.

Lex floundered, and was slightly aghast at the feeling. He really didn’t know how to respond to Clark’s knowing comment, especially with him changing clothes right *there*. What the hell was wrong with him? It wasn’t as if he’d never been attracted to a man before, he had plenty of experience with both sexes. Must be the whole being in love thing. Lex sighed.

"This okay?" Clark asked.

Perfect. Lex blinked and managed to bite the word back. "Yeah, you look passably old enough. You sure they got your age right at the adoption place?"

Clark shrugged, "Don’t know, they guessed three, but Mom thinks it was more five." Clark smothered a smirk, hopefully that would help sort out the age problem, if there was one. Lex didn’t strike him as the type to be particularly worried about things like that. Lex nodded thoughtfully.

"Tell you what, grab some overnight stuff. It’ll be easier to stay at my place in Metropolis tonight," Lex suggested, at the same time wondering what, exactly, he thought he was doing. As if spending time with Clark wasn’t temptation and torture enough!

Clark was thrilled, this was even better than he’d hoped. "Okay, cool," he said, trying to sound casual. Quickly, he put a few things into a bag, before grabbing his jacket and following Lex back out of the house. He tried not to stare at his friend’s slim ass, but failed miserably.

Clark had to laugh when Lex unlocked his car. As if anyone would steal it round there.

"I love this car," he sighed enviously.

Lex smirked, "Yeah, quite like it myself."

@>*~

Driving was good, it kept his mind occupied, a little anyway. Clark’s presence in the small space was fairly overwhelming. He was just so big. Lex shook his head quickly. He didn’t want his mind heading down that path.

"So, got any ideas of where you want to go?" Lex asked conversationally.

Clark bit his lip nervously. This was the main part of his plan, he didn’t want to mess it up. "Uh, well, I was thinking a gay club."

Lex choked at the unexpected reply. "What? Why?" he almost stammered.

"Well, you know, I don’t want to watch you getting hit on all night. I figured if we went to a gay club, people might think we were a couple." There, he’d said it. Clark watched Lex worriedly out of the corner of his eye.

"A couple of what?" Lex said flippantly trying to hide his shock. When he saw Clark’s expression he could have bitten his tongue out.

"Very funny," Clark clenched his jaw, trying not to show the hurt he was feeling, "I just wanted us to spend some time together, away from all the usual crap."

Lex was startled, Clark never swore. He reached out and put his hand on Clark’s thigh, squeezing gently. "I’m sorry."

Clark’s leg dropped closer to him, and his hand slipped down between Clark’s legs. Unable to quite stop them, Lex’s fingertips traced the inner seam of Clark’s jeans. Clark made a strange noise and Lex snapped out of it, barely managing to stop himself from snatching his hand back.

Keeping his eyes firmly on the road, Lex tried to cover up the fact that he was flustered. And hard. "Gay club it is then."

Clark nodded. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat, trying to adjust his now even tighter pants. He could still feel the heat of Lex’s hand. As soon as Lex had touched his thigh, he hadn’t been able to stop his leg from moving closer. The brief trace of fingers up his leg had felt so good, he’d groaned.

But Clark was now unsure of what to think, had it been a good sign? Lex was acting as if nothing strange had happened. At least he didn’t seem particularly phased by Clark’s request.

"What makes you think I’d be the one getting hit on, anyway?" Lex asked suddenly.

"Huh?" Clark blinked at him in surprise.

Lex glanced at him briefly, before turning his attention back to the road. "You and me, at a club. Why would I get hit on with you there?" Lex had to smile. Clark was clueless about how attractive he was.

"Are you kidding?" Clark shook his head, "I mean you’re…" Clark stopped suddenly, eyes widening at what he’d nearly said.

"I’m what?" Lex frowned.

"Nothing," Clark shifted down in his seat.

"No, what were you going to say?" Lex really wanted to know. *Really* wanted to know.

"Just, well," Clark racked his brain for something to say other than ‘gorgeous and sexy’ which he’d nearly come out with. "You’re you, and I’m just me," he said lamely.

Lex barked out a short laugh. "You obviously don’t look in the mirror much," he commented.

Clark flushed. "Yeah well, I guess neither do you," he muttered.

Lex smiled and looked over at Clark properly, "Thanks."

Clark smiled shyly.

@>*~

Lex took Clark to one of his old haunts. It was fairly nice place and they knew him there. Even so it had an anonymous and discrete atmosphere. And he knew he could get Clark in without any questions.

"You want a drink?" he asked as they weaved their way towards the bar.

"Coke please," Clark replied automatically. He was trying not to stare at the dance floor. He wasn’t sure what he’d expected, but such blatant sensuality was not going to make the evening any easier.

"Just a coke?" Lex raised an eyebrow, "I thought you wanted to have fun, to not be careful for a change?"

Clark flushed lightly and shrugged, "And I need alcohol for that?"

"Well, no," Lex conceded, "But you’re out for the night, no responsibilities, don’t you want to push the boat out a little?"

"Yeah, I guess," Clark smiled, it wasn’t as if alcohol had any effect on him anyway. "Okay, I’ll have a beer."

Lex smiled, trying to pretend he wasn’t encouraging a minor to drink for any underhanded reasons. Like getting Clark drunk enough to find out what was going on. Sure, Clark acted clueless, but Lex knew something was going on.

They carried the bottles over to a table and sat down. He watched Clark drink and stare at the dance floor, his leg bouncing in time to the music. When they’d finished the first drink, Lex got them another and continued to watch Clark. The music was too loud to talk anyway. And watching Clark drinking from a bottle was doing nice, if completely inappropriate, things to his libido.

"Come on," Lex stood up. Clark looked up and blinked.

"What?"

"You want to dance, don’t you?" Lex smiled in amusement at Clark’s expression.

"Oh, yeah," Clark licked his lips nervously, "Yeah I do."

Lex watched the tip of Clark’s tongue slip out to trace his lips and swallowed hard, turning to the dance floor abruptly. "Let’s go then." He automatically held out his hand to guide Clark and was surprised when his young friend took it and led him to the floor.

Clark kept a light hold of Lex’s hand when his friend didn’t object. After all, he really did want people to think they were a couple. He wanted Lex all to himself tonight. He weaved through heaving bodies until he found a spot where they could face each other, then he stopped and turned.

Lex was smirking at him so he grinned and started to dance.

And where in hell does a farm-boy learn moves like that?! Lex watched Clark dance, almost forgetting to dance himself.

"C’mon, Lex," Clark took Lex’s hand again and pulled him into the dance. Lex let the music absorb him and he started to move. Clark’s eyes lit up and Lex grinned. He started to wonder again what was going on in his young friend’s head; especially when Clark shifted closer and started to dance *with* him.

Clark was having a great time. He was dancing with Lex, and boy could Lex dance! Clark watched the slim, lithe body move with easy grace and sensuality. Almost hypnotised by the movement of Lex’s hips, Clark moved closer and put his hands on them, tugging Lex forward and up against his body.

Lex looked momentarily startled and Clark held his breath. But then Lex put his hands on his shoulders and Clark could breath again.

Relaxing into the feel of Clark’s body against his, and Clark’s large hands on him, Lex stopped thinking and worrying, and went with it. He still wasn’t sure what Clark was doing, or what he wanted, but he was going to enjoy it while it lasted.

Clark really was quite big, and very solid. His skin was warm and surprisingly soft. He felt good and Lex let himself lean into the strength of his friend. He had always enjoyed having larger partners than himself, which was why he’d previously preferred men to women.

Clark was ecstatic. Lex was pressed up to him, their hips moved together and he could feel strong, lean muscles moving under his fingers. Lex almost had his head buried in Clark’s neck. Definitely better than anything he’d been hoping for. He was hard, and it was slightly uncomfortable with the tightness of his jeans, but Clark didn’t care. He was oblivious to everything but Lex and the music.

Until, that was, a huge guy with a Mohawk and several facial piercings slid up behind Lex and started moving with them, pressing his groin up against Lex’s ass.

Lex frowned and stopped moving. His hands didn’t leave Clark’s shoulders as he turned to look up at the newcomer and stopped breathing. Clark was aware of annoyance and perhaps the smallest touch of fear crossing Lex’s face and he tensed expectantly.

"Jeff," Lex said in a cold voice.

"Lex," the large man purred, "Good to see you."

"Wish I could say the same," Lex muttered, schooling his features into disinterest.

"Oh, you hurt my feelings, darling, didn’t you miss me?" Jeff drawled.

"Not remotely. I thought you weren’t allowed in here any more," Lex commented. He pulled Clark closer unconsciously, feeling relieved when Clark’s arms slid round his waist protectively.

Jeff smirked, "You didn’t really think you could get me barred for long, did you?"

Lex grimaced, "No, I suppose not. Now if you don’t mind, I’m busy." Lex moved to turn back to Clark, but Jeff’s large hand clamped down on his shoulder. Clark frowned, he’d definitely seen a flash of fear flit across Lex’s eyes and he didn’t like it. Lex never showed fear, ever. Not even when he’d been hanging off that walkway in the factory with Earl.

"Excuse me, sir," Clark said in a firm but polite tone, "You’re interrupting our date."

Lex blinked, then smirked slightly. Clark, ever the gentleman, was coming to his rescue. He just hoped Clark really was as strong as he suspected or they’d never get rid of Jeff.

"Date?" Jeff snorted, "Lex doesn’t date; he fucks, don’t you, darling? Fucks and dumps." Jeff’s eyes darkened, "Except me, no one dumps me, isn’t that right, Lex? Now," Jeff started to pull Lex away none too gently, "I’m sure Lex would rather have a real man, than some pussy he picked up."

"I’m sure that’s up to Lex." Clark’s grip on Lex tightened and Lex winced slightly in pain.

"I’m sorry, Jeff," Lex said sounding extremely insincere, "But CK and I are exclusive." He wasn’t about to use Clark’s real name in front of Jeff. Jeff laughed loudly and Clark gasped quietly.

"Exclusive, you?" Jeff shook his head, "I doubt it. Come on, Lex, be a good boy, I know you enjoyed our little game last time."

Lex’s jaw clenched and Clark was aware of a very slight tremble passing through his friend’s body.

"Okay, I’ve had enough," Clark said angrily, "Leave now, or…"

"Or what?" Jeff sneered, looking highly amused.

"Or this," Clark replied calmly. He prised Jeff’s hand easily form Lex’s shoulder and started to squeeze, forcing himself to control his anger so he didn’t break the man’s hand. Jeff gaped dumbly and started to pant with pain. He tried to pull his hand away, but Clark held him easily.

"I don’t like my dates being interrupted, and I don’t like my boyfriend feeling threatened." Clark couldn’t help the small thrill he felt calling Lex his boyfriend, even if it was just for effect, it just felt and sounded right. He squeezed Jeff’s hand a little harder and the large man yelped.

"Now, go away and leave us alone." Clark shoved him away with what looked like a gentle push, but which propelled Jeff half way across the dance floor, narrowly missing several couples, and into the wall. Lex flopped forward into his arms and Clark held him tightly, extremely worried.

"Lex?" he whispered, gently stroking the soft skin at the back of his neck.

"I think I’d like to go now," Lex said quietly.

Clark nodded. With a last glare at a stunned looking Jeff, Clark half carried Lex towards the exit.

It took Lex a moment to recover; but when he did, he was awash with mixed emotions. A tiny thread of fear remained, along with fury at himself and Jeff for his weakness. Overwhelming all that, was just the feeling of comfort and safety at being in Clark’s arms, along with a touch of self-mockery that he’d needed a fifteen year old to rescue him.

"Come on, Clark. Let’s go to mine," he said quietly, heading for the car.

"Lex?" Clark held back, clearly shaken and confused.

Lex sighed, "Not now, Clark, can we just get out of here?"

Clark nodded. He wanted answers to all the questions flying round his head, but he knew he wasn’t going to get any here.

@>*~

They drove in silence to Lex’s penthouse and Lex quietly led Clark into the elegant, richly furnished apartment. He dropped his keys on the table on the hallway and peeled off his coat, heading straight for the lounge and the bar. He needed a strong drink.

Clark took off his jacket and followed Lex, perching awkwardly on the edge of a huge couch as he watched Lex toss back a large scotch and pour himself another. When Lex drank the second just as fast and made to pour himself a third, Clark got up and gently pulled the bottle and glass out of Lex’s unresisting hands.

He steered his friend to the couch and sat him down, before sitting down close to him.

"Lex?" he started quietly. "Who was that?"

Lex sighed, debating telling a lie. But he was no good at lying to Clark, yet another weakness. Oh, wouldn’t his father be pleased!

"That was Jeff, a huge mistake I made a couple of years ago. One who doesn’t take no for an answer," Lex replied quietly.

Clark frowned, "What do you mean?"

"Let’s just say Jeff takes whatever he wants, from whomever he wants," Lex clenched his jaw tightly, wishing he could have another drink, but knowing it was pointless with Clark there.

Clark wasn’t entirely sure if he was getting what Lex was trying to say, in fact he was really hoping he wasn’t. "Are you saying, I mean, did Jeff…"

"Rape me?" Lex snapped sharply, his worry about Clark’s reaction making him tense, "I suppose that’s putting it one way, mildly I’d say."

"Jesus, Lex!" Clark gasped.

"You asked," Lex pointed out, face ashen and blank.

"Yes, but, I mean, how could he?" Clark faltered, "Couldn’t you…?"

Lex sighed again deeply, "You mean, as the son of one of the most powerful men in the world, couldn’t I stop him? Or why isn’t he in jail or worse?"

Clark nodded.

Lex laughed bitterly, "You’d think so wouldn’t you, except that my father is Jeff’s patron."

Clark gaped in utter shock and horror. Seeing Lex’s fragile tension and distinctly bright eyes, Clark didn’t even pause to think. He pulled Lex into his arms, ignoring the mild resistance until Lex just collapsed against him.

"Oh, Lex, I’m so sorry," Clark whispered.

Lex started to laugh, a little hysterically. Yet again his hick farm boy teenaged friend was rescuing him. "Just my father’s way of showing me that my preference for men leaves me in a weakened position," he muttered against Clark’s neck. It was strange how safe he felt with his young friend. How he knew he could tell Clark anything and it wouldn’t be used against him.

Clark wrapped his arms a little tighter around Lex’s shivering body. "God, Lex, I…" Clark didn’t know what to say. "Why? I mean, what’s wrong with liking men?" he asked hesitantly.

"It isn’t the proper thing for a Luthor," Lex whispered. "It worked, I learned my lesson. I haven’t been with a man since, haven’t wanted to until…" Lex bit his lip hard to stop himself from continuing. He didn’t want to lose his best, his only, friend on top of everything else.

Clark’s breath hitched and he gently titled Lex’s head back to search his face. "Until?" he whispered hopefully.

Lex met Clark’s gaze and his lips parted, but he couldn’t speak, the force of the emotions in his friend’s eyes silencing him.

Clark stared, then slowly, giving Lex a chance to pull away, he bent his head and gently brushed his lips over Lex’s mouth. Encouraged by the quiet gasp, he pressed his mouth harder against the still slightly parted lips and tentatively slipped his tongue between them.

Lex moaned and slid his hand into soft, silky, black hair, pulling Clark down hard. They kissed slowly, slightly hesitantly, but passionately. But then Clark made a tiny noise in the back of his throat and Lex snapped out of it. He pulled back quickly, wondering briefly when he’d ended up in Clark’s lap.

"No," he gasped breathlessly, "I can’t, Clark please, I…"

Clark stopped him, "It’s okay, Lex." It wasn’t really, Clark was terrified. Terrified that he’d lost his friend, but more, that he might have hurt Lex somehow.

He swallowed and continued, "Don’t worry about me, Lex. We can do whatever you want. I’m your friend, I want to be here for you. I… Lex, I love you, just let me be here for you, please?"

Lex listened in astonishment. Not since his mother had died, had anyone cared for him so completely, had offered anything he needed so unselfishly.

"Clark, I," Lex started, "I need you, but I… I can’t."

"You can do whatever you want, Lex," Clark said quietly. He desperately wanted to take Lex to bed and love him. But he wasn’t going to do anything, he was going to let Lex decide. He would do whatever Lex needed.

Lex fought with himself. He wanted, needed, nothing more than to give himself into Clark’s care, but a lifetime of hiding his emotions, feelings, *weaknesses*, made it hard to give in. In the end, his love for and trust in Clark won out.

"I want to sleep," Lex felt rather than saw Clark’s slight disappointment and almost smiled. "And I want," he continued, "I want you to hold me, please Clark?"

Clark nodded. Carefully, he shifted Lex in his arms and stood up, carrying him to the bedroom. He put Lex on the bed and knelt down to pull off the expensive shoes and silk socks.

"Clark," Lex made a vague attempt at protesting.

"Just, just let me take care of you for a change, Lex, please," Clark begged quietly.

Lex sighed and nodded. Clark sat on the bed and carefully undid his silk tie and then the buttons of his shirt, pushing it over his shoulders. He gently pushed Lex back onto the bed and tugged open his pants.

Lex raised his hips to help Clark to pull them off. Clark picked him up again and pulled the covers back, laying Lex gently on the bed. Clark hurriedly stripped to his boxers and slipped into the bed beside him.

Lex did smile this time, the whole thing had a strange dreamlike quality; but then he wasn’t used to people genuinely caring for him. Clark pulled the covers over them and wrapped Lex in a warm embrace. Lex rested his head in the crook of Clark’s neck and closed his eyes.

"Clark," he whispered.

"Yes?" Clark replied quietly.

"Thank you."

Clark smiled in the darkness and gently pressed a kiss to Lex’s temple. "You’re welcome."

Clark lay quietly, listening to Lex’s breathing slow and deepen into sleep. He wasn’t sure how he felt, he certainly hadn’t been prepared for the night’s revelations. But he was glad he could be there for his friend, that Lex had at least one person in his life that cared for him. He couldn’t begin to imagine what Lex’s life had been like, but he was determined to be there, for as long as Lex let him. To support and protect his friend, the man he now loved even more than before.

@>*~

Clark realised he must have drifted to sleep himself when he woke to the unfamiliar feeling of someone shifting in his arms. It was still dark and he wondered what time it was. Sparing a moment to thank God he hadn’t floated, he gently ran his hands in slow circles on Lex’s back to try and soothe him back into sleep.

Lex woke, feeling warm and safe. He decided it was a feeling he could all too easily get used to and started to move out of Clark’s embrace, fairly sure that he really shouldn’t let himself get used to it. But when Clark began to stroke his back, he couldn’t help but wonder why the hell not.

Then, with a sigh, he remembered why not. Clark was his friend and Clark was fifteen. And Clark… loved him. Lex blinked in surprise and lifted his head. Clark looked at him inquiringly.

"You love me," Lex stated quietly.

Clark frowned, wondering where that had come from. Hadn’t he said so earlier?

"Yes," he said quickly when Lex began to look uncertain, "I love you. I’m in love with you," he qualified, slightly nervously, but wanting Lex to know.

Lex felt a little bemused. Why someone as pure and good as Clark could love him was a little beyond him, but he couldn’t help be anything but happy. "You really do," he whispered, shaking his head.

Clark watched the rare openness of Lex’s features seeing the amazement, seeing the happiness and his heart ached that someone as beautiful as Lex should be so surprised that someone could love him.

"Yes, I really do," Clark smiled gently, reaching up to cup Lex’s cheek.

"Can we," Lex started, "Even if we only have this one night, can we just love each other?" Lex knew that when daylight came, everything would change. Lex wouldn’t be able to keep Clark with him, as much as he longed to. Probably wouldn’t be able to risk being this close to Clark ever again. But just for tonight, he wanted to forget reality, forget his father, Clark’s parents, responsibility, everything.

"Do you?" Clark whispered.

"Do I what?" Lex asked, tensing again.

"Do you love me?" Clark winced, he hadn’t wanted to make any demands of Lex, but it had just come out.

Lex sighed in relief. Here and now, he could tell Clark the truth without worry or recrimination. "Yes, Clark, I love you too," he replied with a tiny smile.

Clark smiled back at him, his whole face glowing with happiness. "Anything you want, Lex," he whispered, "I want to do anything and everything you want."

Lex was slightly awed at the trust Clark placed in him. "Love me," he whispered. He leaned up and kissed Clark’s lips. They were soft and warm and yielded immediately to his searching tongue. Clark pulled him closer, rolling sideways and slipping his hand to the back of Lex’s neck.

Clark moaned quietly, happy to take this chance, to be what Lex needed, even if it *was* just the one night. Although he was determined it wouldn’t be, now that Lex had lowered his barriers and really let him in. He lowered his other hand to Lex’s waist and pulled him tight to his body.

He could feel Lex’s need, his desire pressed into his hip and his body quickly responded. Lex rocked against him and he gasped.

"Clark, I need," Lex was torn between wanting to make love, slowly, tenderly and wanting Clark to possess him, take him hard. But he did need Clark on top of him, to feel the large, strong body blanket him, shield him from the world.

"Anything," Clark whispered again, gently thrusting against Lex.

"Oh God, Clark, I need you inside me," Lex arched against Clark, wrapping his arms round the broad shoulders of his friend.

Clark sucked in a shocked breath, "Lex, are you sure?"

Lex pulled Clark on top of him and stared into dark, blue eyes. "Yes, I’m sure. I need this, Clark, please." He reached up to the headboard and opened a hidden compartment, pulling out a tube.

"Oh God," Clark breath. Nervously, he took the tube and put it on the bed beside them. He dipped his head and kissed Lex gently.

"Clark, please," Lex whispered, straining against him.

"Shh, Lex, I said I was here for you. I just don’t want to hurt you," Clark slid his hand up and down Lex’s side soothingly.

"You won’t," Lex insisted urgently.

"I think you know that I could, Lex," Clark sighed.

Lex lifted a hand and carefully brushed Clark’s hair back, then ran his fingers down his cheek and across his lips. "No, Clark. What I know is that you could never hurt me," he whispered.

Clark kissed the fingertips, feeling a little scared and overwhelmed. But his need to be, to do, whatever Lex wanted was too strong to deny.

"Lex, I know what to do in theory, but I need you to tell me if I do anything wrong."

Lex nodded, relieved that Clark had agreed. He knew that Clark had made a small admission about his strength and it actually reassured him. For once in his life, sex was just going to be two people who loved each other. No games, no expectations. It made him nearly as nervous as he knew Clark was.

Lex gently pushed at Clark until his friend knelt up between his legs. He pulled off his boxers, then bent his legs back and stretched them wide. Clark caught his breath and reached out, running his hand down a smooth, strong thigh.

"You’re so beautiful, Lex," he breathed out. Shifting a little closer, Clark let both his hands explore the pale, hairless skin of his lover. Lex writhed under the warm touch, wanting to feel more, wanting Clark to touch him more intimately. But he also wanted to see more of Clark.

"You know, Clark, you are somewhat overdressed," he whispered, some of his usual manner coming out with his impatience. Clark flushed and scooted back to pull off his boxers. He flushed even deeper red when he realised Lex was staring at his groin.

"I think your ideas of beauty are a little skewed," Lex whispered. He sat up and gently ran a fingertip up the length of Clark’s erection. Clark gasped and leaned forward to take Lex’s mouth again, a little more possessively. Lex smiled against his lips. This was what he needed. He pulled away and lay back again, spreading his legs wide.

"Take me, Clark."

Clark took a deep breath and lay down next to Lex, half on the bed and half on his friend. As he kissed Lex again, he let his hand skim down the slim, firm body and took a tentative grip of Lex’s slender cock. Delicately tasting the depths of Lex’s mouth, he stroked firmly.

Courage building with every moan from Lex, Clark let his fingers slide lower to explore hairless balls and the smooth patch of skin just beneath them, then dipped down to gently stroke the puckered hole of his ass.

"Mmm, Clark, please," Lex moaned, the gentle exploration driving him mad, even increasing his need.

Clark leaned over him for the tube and carefully lubed up his fingers. Reaching between Lex’s legs, he firmly stroked his asshole again. Clark held his breath as he gently eased his finger between the tight muscle. Lex gasped, unable to stop himself from tensing.

Clark met his eyes and the concern and love he saw there helped Lex to relax. "Keep going," he whispered.

Clark nodded. He pushed in deeper and looked down, then he quickly looked away again. The sight of his finger disappearing into Lex’s body was a little overwhelming, as was imagining his cock inside that tight, grasping heat. He didn’t want it to be over before it started.

Carefully, Clark wriggled his finger round and when Lex felt more relaxed, he added a second. Lex moaned quietly. It had been a long time, but it was starting to feel good now.

"Deeper," he urged Clark. "Oh, yes that’s good." He started to pant, "Crook your fingers up… Jesus! Yes there, oh Clark." Lex started to rock his hips, trying to get Clark deeper inside him.

Clark sucked in a deep breath and looked down again. Lex’s flushed cock was dripping pre-come onto his stomach and his hips were straining against him. Clark couldn’t resist using his x-ray sight to watch his fingers working inside Lex’s body.

"Oh God," he whispered.

"One more," Lex managed to gasp.

Clark added a third finger and continued to stretch him, making sure he rubbed against the nub he could feel, Lex’s reactions making him feel good in a way he hadn’t anticipated.

"Now, Clark," Lex whispered.

Clark sat up again, slipped on the condom that Lex produced out of nowhere and stroked on plenty of lube. He lay on top of his friend and placed his cock at the loosened hole.

"Slow." Lex reached up and stroked Clark’s face. Clark nodded and kissed his palm. He pushed and gasped. The tip of his cock was enveloped tightly and he stopped immediately to try and regain some control.

Lex was glad of the pause, it gave him time to get used to the size. Not only had it been two years, but he’d never taken someone so large before. He almost giggled as he remembered his earlier thoughts about how big Clark was.

Clark eased in, concentrating on not thrusting hard into the welcoming heat, until his balls touched soft skin. "Oh God, Lex, I never… it feels…" Clark almost sobbed.

"I know, Clark, you feel good too," Lex said quietly. "Now please move."

Clark pulled back slowly and gently pushed into Lex again. Steadily, he moved, carefully thrusting into his lover, trying to ignore his own desperate need.

"I’m not going to break, Clark," Lex panted, needing more.

"Huh?"

"Harder," Lex begged, lifting his hips to meet Clark’s stroke.

"Jesus, Lex!" Clark yelped. He started to move faster, plunging deeper into the tight passage. Lex moaned, shifting his body so that Clark’s cock scraped against his prostate with each drive into him. It felt so good, better than it had ever felt.

"That’s it, that’s good," he panted, "Please, Clark, touch me."

Clark somehow managed to push himself up without breaking his rhythm and reached between them to grasp Lex’s shaft. He looked down, gasping at the sight of his cock moving in and out of Lex’s body and his hand working Lex’s dripping cock.

"God, Lex, can’t…"

"Do it, Clark, I need you to." Lex met Clark’s eyes seriously.

Permission given, Clark plunged harder and faster into his lover. Their two bodies writhed together, heartbeats and breathing equally out of control. Clark felt Lex tense all around him and the slim body arched against him. Lex flung his head back, crying out his release. Lex’s seed burned against Clark’s skin and the spasming of the muscles around his cock overwhelmed him. He shuddered deep into Lex’s ass, his entire body tightening as he came.

"Lex," he breathed, flopping down onto the limp body beneath him. When he could finally breathe again, Clark pushed himself up, only to be pulled back down.

"No, stay," Lex whispered. He still needed to feel the comforting weight on top of him. Clark nodded and buried his face against his neck, mortified to feel tears stinging his eyes. He didn’t want this to ever end.

"It’s okay, Clark," Lex said quietly, knowing what Clark was feeling because he felt it too. "Let’s just sleep now."

Clark nodded again and this time when he lifted up, Lex didn’t stop him. He eased out of Lex’s body and got rid of the condom, then he reached over to the bedside table for some tissues and gently cleaned them both off.

Lex pulled Clark down beside him and half wrapped himself around his friend’s larger body, sighing when Clark wrapped his arms round him. "Clark?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you."

Clark couldn’t stop the tears this time, "Oh, Lex."

"Shh, it’s okay," Lex lied, gently stroking Clark’s chest, "We’ll worry about it in the morning." Lex closed his eyes and wished morning would never come.

@>*~

Clark didn’t remember falling asleep, but the feel of waking up with Lex in his arms was one he didn’t want to let go of. But, after a couple of minutes, Clark carefully eased back and propped himself up so he could watch Lex sleep. Whilst not exactly old, Lex still managed to look young and innocent in his sleep. Probably the lack of the slight hardness usually present in his eyes and the ever-present smirk.

Clark reached out and gently ran a finger over the smooth skin of Lex’s scalp then down behind his ear. He flattened his hand on Lex’s neck, pausing to feel the strong pulse, then continuing down Lex’s chest. His fingers were drawn to pale, pink nipples and he circled first one, then the other, fascinated by the tightening and puckering of the skin.

Moving closer again, Clark leaned over Lex very carefully, and inhaled, breathing in a combination of clean sweat, smoke from the club, cologne and just Lex. Unable to resist, Clark stuck out his tongue and lapped at the tightened nipples, wanting to taste the soft skin.

Lex stirred, waking to soft, warm touches and cool wetness on his chest. He looked down and watched Clark explore his torso with mouth and hands.

"Clark," he whispered, touched by the tenderness and starting to get turned on. Clark moved up again, softly nuzzling Lex’s neck, inhaling deeply; he didn’t want to talk. "Clark, what are you doing?" Lex asked quietly.

Clark sighed and looked up, tears filming his eyes, "Memorising you."

"Oh, Clark." Whatever answer Lex had been expecting, it wasn’t that. "Clark, I…"

"No!" Clark stopped him with a kiss. He plunged his tongue into Lex’s mouth, kissing him hard, urgently. Lex let Clark push him back into the mattress, both of them fighting for control of the kiss. Lex clutched at Clark’s face, not wanting to let go, but knowing he had to. He could feel the desperation in Clark and it made him pull away.

"Clark, no," he panted, hating himself for putting the look of heartbreak into Clark’s eyes.

Clark stared at him for a second, then wrenched himself away. He dragged on his boxers and ran for the bathroom. Tears blinded him and he dropped down on the floor, huddling close to the wall. He wrapped his arms round his legs, rocking slowly.

He knew in his head that it was impossible for them to be together, although that hadn’t concerned him yesterday. But he knew in his heart that it was right, that he belonged with Lex and Lex belonged with him. How was he going to convince Lex though? How had it gotten so hard? Just yesterday, all he’d wanted was time; time with Lex and maybe an admission that there was more between them than friendship.

Lex lay back on the bed and stared hard at the ceiling, wondering when and how he’d lost control. In hindsight the night had been a big mistake, but he couldn’t bring himself to regret it. Not when he could still feel the burn of Clark inside him, and the heat of his tears on his skin.

He tried, really tried to stay in the bed and wait for Clark to calm down and come out when he was ready, which would be the sensible thing to do. Try and create a little distance between them, because, God, that was going to be hard enough. But the sound of Clark sobbing in the next room was too much for him.

Lex got up and hurried into the bathroom, barely pausing to put his own boxers back on. He dropped down next to Clark and pulled him into his arms. Clark buried his face in Lex’s neck and let himself cry. Lex’s hands gently stroked his hair and neck and part of his face and he felt soft kisses being pressed to his hair, as Lex made soothing noises.

Clark slowly lifted his head to stare at Lex, hopefully, pleadingly and Lex wiped his tears away, pressing more kisses to his face. Clark sighed and closed his eyes, finding himself nuzzling against Lex and then tipping his head back hopefully.

Lex stared down for a moment, trying to talk himself out of kissing Clark anywhere near his mouth. He leaned down to kiss Clark’s cheek again but his friend’s hitching breath made him change his mind at the last moment. Ever so softly, Lex brushed his mouth over Clark’s lips.

Clark surged up with a moan, wrapping a large hand round the back of Lex’s neck and pulling him close, pressing his lips hard against Lex’s until they parted. Deepening the kiss, he tried to ignore the noises of protest that Lex was making, until he realised with horror what he was doing. He let go of Lex quickly and turned away, fresh tears burning at his eyes.

"I’m sorry," he whispered.

Lex sat back on the floor, touching his mouth, and shook his head. "Nothing to be sorry for, Clark, but you’ve got to stop doing this to me."

"Doing what?" Clark asked a little confused.

"Making me want you so much."

Clark turned back slightly. "Why?" he asked harshly.

Lex sighed and dropped his chin to his chest. "Because this can’t work. Last night, Clark, that was it, we can’t have this anymore."

Clark swallowed and crawled closer to Lex. "Why?" he repeated.

"Because," Lex looked up and almost flinched back at how close Clark had gotten, "For a start, Clark, it’s illegal and you know that."

"I don’t care."

"Clark! You wouldn’t be the one going to jail," Lex rubbed his scalp and shook his head.

"You wouldn’t go to jail because there would be no proof, ever, Lex."

"So you’d just lie to everyone, to your parents?" Lex swallowed hard. Clark’s eyes were darkening and he was moving even closer. Lex started to shift backwards, but Clark grabbed his leg and easily held him in place.

"I already do. You know I’m different, I know you do," Clark whispered, crawling slowly over Lex, who leant further and further back until he was flat on the floor. Making the decision in an instant to give Lex everything he was, Clark turned to their side and punched a hole through the wall. Lex gasped and flinched and then just stared at him as he reached through the wall and grabbed the lube.

"Jesus," Lex whispered. He grabbed Clark’s hand and brushed the dust off. Even thought it was what he was expecting, he was still shocked to see absolutely no damage, not even a graze. "You know, I had lube in the bathroom cabinet," he quipped, trying to lighten the atmosphere.

Clark shook his head and Lex sighed, "I’m sorry."

"Please, Lex, I want more, just once more, please?" Clark begged quietly, not even caring that he was.

Lex closed his eyes and nodded. He knew he should say no, almost wanted to say no, but the need in Clark’s eyes was too great. He couldn’t deny Clark the same comfort he’d been given.

The touches returned, just as gentle and tender as before, but a little more urgent. Clark sniffed and licked his chest, his stomach; large warm hands skimming down to cup his hips. His boxers were eased down and Lex opened his eyes to see Clark bend his head and gently nuzzle his groin. Clark kissed up the length of his hardening erection. Then those soft lips wrapped themselves round the head.

Lex breathed out heavily, "Clark, you don’t have to…"

Clark raised his head and stared at him solemnly, "I want to, I want you." Clark didn’t want to accept it, but the distinct possibility that he might never be able to touch Lex this way again, made him want to have as many memories to hold onto as possible.

Lex swallowed and licked his lips before he could speak. "Clark," he whispered, "We can do whatever you want." He gave Clark the same permission and reassurance he’d been given, the same trust.

Clark managed a smile. He knew a lot of what had transpired between them had been very hard for Lex. How much it cost him to admit to feelings and fears, weaknesses. Clark shook his head and leaned forward to kiss him.

"I love you, Lex," he whispered.

Then he pushed back and settled between Lex’s legs. Clark wrapped his mouth back round the tip of Lex’s cock and flicked his tongue over the slit to taste the drops of pre-come he’d noticed starting to leak. Lex gasped and his hips jerked up. Clark held him down carefully, not wanting to hurt him.

He gently sucked more of Lex’s cock into his mouth, exploring the ridges and veins with his tongue. Lex moaned and tried to move, but there was no way he could shift Clark’s grip. So he let his head drop back and gave himself up to Clark’s far too talented mouth.

Clark sucked and licked, taking Lex as deep as he could. He could feel Lex’s muscles tensing and shifting under his hands and the soft moans encouraged him further. But he wanted more, he wanted to feel Lex inside *him*.

He lifted his head slowly and gave Lex’s erection a last lick before grabbing the lube and coating it.

"Clark, what?" Lex looked up again, slightly panicked.

"I want you," Clark whispered.

"I don’t think…" Lex started, but he trailed off at the determined glint in Clark’s eyes.

"Please," Clark breathed, "You said whatever I want, I want you." Clark shifted forward to straddle Lex’s lap, grasping Lex’s cock to push it back to his ass.

"Wait, Clark, you need preparation," Lex gasped. He couldn’t remember ever wanting to be inside someone so much, but he didn’t want to hurt Clark.

"You can’t hurt me," Clark whispered, guessing his fear. He eased himself down, gasping at the stretch as Lex’s cock penetrated him. Lex relaxed a little at his words. He knew Clark was right, he couldn’t hurt him, physically at least. Emotionally, he wasn’t so sure, but he couldn’t stop now. Not when the tight heat of Clarks ass enveloped him.

Clark sat down smoothly until Lex’s cock was all the way inside him. It felt incredible. He felt complete in a different way than when he’d been inside Lex. It just made him more determined that he wasn’t going to give Lex up. And he wasn’t going to let Lex give up on them either.

"Clark, please," Lex whispered hoarsely. Need was overwhelming all the good sense that had been ingrained in him throughout his life. Clark leaned forward and kissed him. Lex wrapped one hand around his head, dragging him closer, deepening the kiss urgently. His other hand slipped down to Clark’s hip urging his lover to move.

Clark lifted up, gasping at the feeling of Lex’s cock sliding from his body, then he sat down hard, sending shocks of pleasure through his body. They both moaned.

"God, Lex, I didn’t know," Clark whispered. He sat up again and started to move, steadily impaling himself over and over. "So good," he panted.

"I know," Lex gasped. He thrust his hips up to meet every stroke, trying to bury himself deeper and deeper inside Clark. He pushed himself up and urged Clark back onto the floor. He propped himself on his elbows so he could watch Clark’s face as he pounded harder into the strong body.

The astounded awe in Clark’s eyes, the tight, gripping muscles around his cock, the whole feeling of love and need tinged with desperation was just too much for him. Lex’s orgasm took him by surprise and he jerked hard into Clark’s body with a gasp, coming with painful intensity.

Clark reached down and gripped Lex’s hips, holding him deep inside as he was filled with wet heat.

"Oh God, Lex!" he cried out. It felt like his entire body was exploding with pleasure and it was almost a shock to feel the heat of his seed splatter his chest. Lex collapsed on top of him with what sounded like a sob and Clark wrapped his arms round him, holding tightly.

"I’m so sorry, Clark," Lex whispered. Nothing was ever going to be the same again, and there was nothing he could do about it. His weakness was going to break both their hearts. Clark tensed, but he didn’t let go. If Lex thought he was ever letting go, he had another thing coming.

"Don’t you dare," he whispered, "Don’t you ever be sorry. We both needed this."

"I took advantage," Lex lifted his head and stared at Clark sorrowfully.

Clark clenched his jaw, "If anyone took advantage, it was me." He let Lex get up and sat up.

"But…" Lex started.

"No," Clark said quietly. He got up and went to turn on the shower. He didn’t want to talk, didn’t want to hear Lex try to talk himself into blame and responsibility.

Lex just stared at him. He knew Clark wouldn’t listen, not yet, so he said nothing. He let Clark guide him into the shower and then join him. Silently, he let Clark wash him and when they got turned on again, he let Clark bring them both off and wash him again.

He let Clark kiss him softly, and kissed back, making his own memories, wondering how he was going to survive without this love, this tenderness he’d never had before. This short space of time they’d had together had changed him beyond recognition and the only regret he had was the bitter knowledge that such love wasn’t meant for him, that he could never have this completion.

Clark watched Lex carefully as they showered and dressed and slowly got ready to leave. Lex was so quiet, but Clark could read the various emotions that played across the pale features and they broke his heart.

While he waited for Lex to make a quick phone-call to get the bathroom wall fixed, Clark tried to figure out how he was going to get past Lex’s barriers again and hopefully break them down altogether. Because he wasn’t sure he could survive now, without Lex.

@>*~

In the car, Lex watched Clark brood. "Clark, I…" he ventured.

"Don’t!" Clark snapped more harshly than he’d intended. "Don’t," he whispered softly. "No apologies, no regrets, no trying to persuade me it was wrong. It will never be wrong."

"Clark, you know it can never happen again," Lex sighed.

"No, I don’t," Clark replied forcefully.

Lex bit his lip, "Clark, can you honestly tell me you could live like we’d have to? Sneaking around, lying to your parents?"

"If I have to," Clark said quietly.

"If you have to?" Lex exclaimed, "You’d tell them?"

"No, I didn’t mean that," Clark sighed, "But it’s not as if we don’t already spend a lot of time together. They know you’re my best friend."

Lex couldn’t help a soft smile, "You told them I was your best friend?"

Clark glanced at him and nodded. "Yeah, after you shot me," Clark replied, then winced.

Lex screeched to a halt, "I shot you?!"

"It wasn’t your fault, it was Rickman," Clark said hurriedly.

"You told me I didn’t hurt you!" Lex shook his head in shock and a little anger.

"Lex, you didn’t, not really. I had a few bruises, that’s all," Clark tried to reassure his friend.

"A few bruises? Jesus, Clark!"

"Lex, I couldn’t exactly tell you that you shot the hell out of me with an automatic weapon, but I was fine, could I?" Clark whispered.

Lex dropped his head onto the steering wheel. "Fuck!" he muttered.

Clark reached over and cupped Lex’s cheek, lifting his head. "It’s okay, it wasn’t your fault. Lex, it wasn’t your fault. Lex, it wasn’t you." He leaned over and gently pressed his lips to Lex’s mouth, moaning when Lex kissed him back hard.

Lex pulled away with a gasp, "Damn it, Clark!" Clark blinked back tears and slumped back in his seat. "If you weren’t, whatever you are, I’d have killed you!" Lex exclaimed, "Do you have any idea…" Lex squeezed his eyes shut, shuddering at the thought of Clark dying.

"But I am, and you didn’t. And if you had, it still wouldn’t be your fault," Clark sighed.

"Fuck," Lex repeated. He forced himself back under control and started the car again. He couldn’t let himself think about it and still get them home. "So, what are you?" he asked eventually.

Clark flinched at his coldly polite tone. "Not human," he whispered.

Lex stared at the road, gripping the steering wheel in shock. He hadn’t expected that. He’d thought it was something to do with the meteor shower like all the other weirdness in Smallville.

"And you don’t think you have enough secrets?" he managed to ask.

Clark sighed, "Lex, keeping a secret about myself like that isn’t wrong. Keeping us a secret isn’t wrong either. The world isn’t ready for me, and Smallville isn’t ready for us, but none of it’s wrong." Clark looked out of the window. Why couldn’t Lex see that?

Lex didn’t reply. He just drove. Clark wasn’t going to make it easy, but he had to find some way of persuading him that there was no ‘us’ or they were both lost.

@>*~

Lex stopped the car at the end of the Kent driveway. When Clark didn’t move, he looked over. Clark was staring at him.

"Clark…"

Clark leaned over and put his fingers on Lex’s lips. "It’s not over," he whispered. He leaned closer and kissed Lex, gently stroking his cheek. He sighed happily when Lex’s lips parted under his and he slipped his tongue between them, delving deeply.

Lex kissed back hard, their tongues twining together and he carded his fingers through Clark’s thick hair. He didn’t want to let go, but he pulled back and watched Clark get out of the car.

"Goodbye, Clark," he whispered and drove away fast.

Clark watched him go, a film of tears preventing him from seeing as far as he usually could. Then he sighed and slowly walked home.

the end.