Title: Dedicated To Blaire - "Dealing With My Family"

Dealing With My Family
by PMD

"Dad! I don't want to go!"

"But, Chloe, it's just once a year."

"Daddy, it's once too often. Come on---I've got a new job on Monday---I've got stuff to do---wash my hair, other important things. Please---don't make me go!"

He walks into his office with that damn puppy dog stare. Uuuuugh---I'm going. I let out a sigh.

"Honey, it's going to be fun."

"Dad---family gatherings with your family is fun---with Mom's side of the family---not so much. I mean, I love my cousin Lois but sometimes---with her 'I'm going to get the Pulitzer before you' and everybody saying---'oh, you are so much like your cousin' or 'why can't you be more like her'---well, I'm myself. And I'm damn well going to get the Pulitzer before her."

"I know you will, Sweetie. Now let me just finish this up and then we can get going."

"Uuuuugh! I'd rather go to a Luthor gathering than this!"

"That can be arranged, Sullivan."

I turn around. "Hey, it's not nice to eavesdrop!"

"But you learn such interesting things---especially when it's you, Sullivan."

I watch him walk in---that smirk---sexy usually but annoying right now---on his face.

"Haha---don't quit your day job, Luthor."

He gives me a slight smile and then makes his way to my father's desk "You have those figures for me, Gabe?"

"Here they are, Lex," my father states.

He looks down at the pages. "So, what's your cousin really like?"

"You want to find out first hand?"

He looks up, surprise on his face. "Me?"

"No---the ghost of Christmas Future---your father!"

He grins at that. "Well---I---"

"I was kidding."

"Hmmmm---no, I think I would like to get to know one of the enemy."

"Enemy?"

"Your cousin is a reporter, right? And what do Luthors shun from?"

"Reporters---hey, I'm a reporter."

"Yes, but you are my friend first. So---"

"Dad, should we let him come. We might lose him as a friend."

"I think it would be nice to rattle the cages at the zoo."

"Daddy!"

"Honey, I don't want to go anymore than you do. It's an obligation and well, at least this year, we'll have some fun."

We both stare at Lex. "Okay---why do I feel like the main entree in the lion's cage right now?"

"Not at all, Son---more like the lion being lead towards the sheep---a well feed lion."

"All right---I'm game but only if Chloe does something for me."

"Kill your father?" I ask.

"Close but no. Gabe, could I talk to her alone for a moment?"

"As long as you don't help her escape."

"We're not on the ground floor, Dad. And the windows don't open that much."

"It's a joke, sweetie."

"Dad---"

"I know---don't quit my day job," he states. He chuckles as he leaves the room and I roll my eyes.

"Well, at least your father thinks he has a sense of humor. Mine has none."

I look at Lex and see a sadness in his eyes. "Oh, I'm sorry, Lex. I forget sometimes what a rotten father you have. So, what can I do for you? Teach him to have a sense of humor? Lead him on a wild goose chase? Get him lost in the woods and meeting up with the big bad wolf?"

He walks over to me. "Teach him to not hit on my girlfriends."

Okay---didn't see that one coming at all. "What the fuck?!?"

xxx

"Too much to ask for, I guess."

"No--no---I don't think so. He hits on your girlfriends---ewwwww!"

"Yes---he slept with Victoria---would have slept with Desiree if he could have seen her---and I don't even want to think about---"

"I get the drift. So, you want me to cure him of this icky thing he's got going? Feeling threatened, masculine-wise are you, Lex?"

"Forget I asked you," he states, a touch of weariness or sadness in his eyes.

He turns to walk away but I touch his arm. "Lex---I'm sorry I hurt you. Forgive me for saying that?" I ask, pleading with him with my eyes.

"I'm sorry, Chloe. I didn't mean to get so upset about what you said. It's not the masculine pride---it's the weirdness of it. And thinking I have the same taste in women as he does."

"Ewwww!" we both state at the same time.

"Okay, I got an idea that will stop him from ever touching another girlfriend of yours."

"And that is?" he queries.

"I'll hit on him first!"

xxx

"You---you'l---you'll what?!?" he asks, having a little problem with breathing after it.

"Lex---breathe---you're hyperventilating. Breathe!" I state, hitting him on his back.

He starts to breathe again and I lead him over to the couch. "Lex--just think about it. It makes perfect sense. What really freaks a self-confident man---no---a very egotistical man?"

"A woman who is aggressive---because he wants to be the aggressor."

"Bingo! So, I'll be the aggressor. He'll never hit on another woman of yours in your life after I'm through with him. Now---you'll come to the reunion?"

"Yes, I'll come---as long as I can be there when you do hit on him---just in case he doesn't go the way you want him to."

"All right, Mr. Superhero, I'll allow you to be there too."

He gets up and offers me his hand. "Come on---we better go meet your father before he thinks we have gone out the back way."

"There's a back way?" I ask as he leads me out of the room. "Why the hell didn't you tell me about that? I could have been out of here."

"Then you wouldn't have had the fun of taking down my father a notch or maybe seeing your cousin look like a fish, when we walk in."

"That's true," I chuckle as we leave the building and join my father.

xxx

"You know, I don't think I've seen so many dropped jaws in my life since I was a child of 5 and I walked downstairs in my birthday suit---at a dinner party of my parents."

I turn to him. "You didn't? Why?"

He smiles. "To get a rise out of my father."

"Even young you were an imp. No wonder I like you. Wow---they really are stunned. Dad---this is going to be one hell of a reunion."

Then we hear:

"What the heck is he doing here, with her? She's so boring and flakey."

I feel a tear in my eye and brush it away. "Oh God---they think I'm---" I want to run away but he won't let me.

"Come on!" he states, as he pulls me towards the voice. "Hello---I'm Lex Luthor. And this is my very interesting and down to earth girlfriend, Chloe. I believe you know each other."

Well, the person who voiced his opinion just stands there stunned.

"Hey, cousin---I see the cat's got Crazy Karl's tongue."

I turn around to watch my cousin walk up to me. "So---this is the new boyfriend you've been talking to me about over the phone. Hi---I'm Lois Lane, Chloe's boring and somewhat flakey cousin."

I feel a tear once more---but this one is in gratitude. The hell with whom gets the prize first---maybe we'll collaborate and win it together.

I walk up to her and give her a hug, whispering, "Thanks, Lois---want to collaborate on that Pulitzer?"

"Anytime, Chloe. Anytime."

We both back off as Lex moves closer to us. "So, you're the cousin I've heard so much about. Maybe someday, I'll let you interview me."

"Not before I get to interview you," I state, with a smirk.

"Yeah, yeah, you get all the great interviews and I'm left with talking to the dregs of the world," Lois states, with a grin. "And you always get the best boyfriends too."

"Fiancee, actually," Lex replies, putting his arm around my waist.

Okay, everybody is slack-jawed again. "Too much?" he asks me.

I look up at him and see the merriment in his eyes. "Nope, just the right amount."

"Okay---was going for too much so---" He leans down and gives me one hell of a kiss. I can hear a snicker from my cousin and I can just picture the looks from the other relatives.

We back away and I give him a shy smile. "Lex, I---"

"I know---let's get out of here and explore this, okay?"

I turn to look at my father. "Is it okay?"

"Honey---it's more than okay. I'll get a ride home from Lois. Lex---don't keep her up too late---she's got to rest up for work on Monday."

"Daddy!"

"Chloe!"

"Uuuugh---I swear I was adopted."

"I wish I was adopted," Lex states, as we leave the hall

xxx

Two Years Later

Since Lex carried out his part of the bargain, admirably---I just had to do the same with mine. I leapt, sexually innuendoed, hit on, and slammed on, one Lionel Luthor. And his reaction---well, he was definitely stunned and overwhelmed---so much so---he never did touch another girlfriend of Lex's ever again. Mainly because I was the last girlfriend of Lex's and he knew I couldn't be taken.

Yep--for his great help in dealing with my family and not getting overly protective of me, when I dealt with his father---well, we both found a partner to love, marry, carry, and forever be with, in this lifetime and beyond. As to the Pulitzer---in a couple of days, Lois and I are going to be awarded with it---for finally getting a joint interview with Lex. She---dealt with his life outside of the boardroom---me, inside. But all questions were above reproach. And yet, the interview was never boring. Cause life is never boring with Lex or with my family---or his, for that matter.

The End.