Title: Dream A Little Dream

Author/pseudonym: Caroline Corken

Fandom: Smallville

Paring: Clark/Lex

Rating: NC17

Status: new

Archive: yes to list archives

Disclaimers: Smallville, Clark and Lex don't belong to me. Clark, even if he doesn't know it, belongs to Lex. As for the rest of the world? It's only a matter of time really.

Notes: When I first sat down to write this one, I had no idea where it was going. Yet, with just one sentence I had a complete story in my head. Where the hell it came from I have no idea. Thanks have to go out to Alison and T.K for their help when I put out the SOS when things got tricky. Major thanks and profound gratitude to Louise for above and beyond. You rock girl! You really helped pull this one off...ALSTC LOL

Summary: How can you defend yourself, when you believe you deserve what you get?

Warnings: Little spoilers for the series littered all the way through, as well as some nice CLexy scenes which deserve the NC-17 rating i've given this fic. Don't like that, then don't read.

Dream A Little Dream

by Caroline Corken

Clark was watching Lex. Something he'd found himself doing a lot of lately when he could help it.

Pete and Clark had headed over to the Beanery knowing that Chloe would turn up there eventually so that the three of them could hang out, maybe even do something different for a change other than tease Clark about Lana.

Which actually wasn't something Clark minded a whole hell of a lot any more. See, when they teased him about Lana, they never noticed that he was watching Lex.

Lex. He was seated on the other side of the room, working on something or other, seemingly so focused on what he was doing that he'd still not noticed that Clark had walked in over half and hour ago. His lips at that moment connected to the mug of coffee he'd ordered when he'd first come in. And why couldn't he take his eyes away?

"So?"

Oh right. Pete. He forced himself to pay attention. "So?"

Pete shook his head. "What is it? This place still have a Lana vibe to it? Clark man, she barely worked here a week." He leaned across the table slapping Clark on the arm, surprised a little at just how hard that muscle actually was. Must be from working on a farm, he thought.

Clark just frowned at him. "Don't be ridiculous Pete. Seriously, what was it you where saying?"

Pete opened his mouth to repeat himself when Chloe appeared almost out of nowhere beside them, sliding into the seat beside Pete. "Hey guys. Do you two remember a Sara King from way back when?"

Both of them looked at each other before turning back to Chloe. "Sorry, can't say that I do. Why?"

Just then a waitress came up and Chloe placed her order before turning back to her friends. "She was born here in Smallville but her family moved I think when her brother was killed in the meteor shower. Come on Pete! Remember? You showed me that picture your mom took when Sara painted you bright green?"

Slowly a smile formed on Pete's face, neither of them noticing the look on Clark's. "Yeah, that's right. She used the gloss my mom had picked out for the hall. I must have spent a week in the bath."

"I thought only Lana's parents died in the meteor shower?"

Two smiling faces turned to Clark, both of them becoming slightly more serious. "No. John was standing close to the same car as Lana's parents with Sara. Apparently his body shielded her from the worst of it. She had this gash on her head from where a bit of the meteor hit her, but that was it. Tragic huh?"

Clark gave her a weak smile. "Yeah. Tragic."

"So? What about her? Has she moved back or something?"

At this question Chloe leaned forward almost as if she was imparting some big secret she didn't want anyone else to overhear. "Well, apparently she never got over watching her brother die like that. From what was said on the news she's been in one mental institution or another since she was 8."

Clark didn't like the sound of where this was going at all. "What do you mean, on the news?"

"Seems like the girl came back to visit her brothers grave then tried to kill herself…The caretaker found her lying on her brother's grave. She's in a coma over at the hospital." Chloe reached out to pick up her coffee, bringing it up to her mouth when she spotted the look on Clark's face. She reached out a hand, touching his arm." Hey, are you alright?"

He shrugged her away a little too hard, her coffee mug slipping out of her hand and hitting the floor. "I'm sorry. I…have to go. I'll see you guys later." Standing but refusing to look at either of them Clark simply walked out, not catching either the confused looks of Pete and Chloe, or the look of concern as he passed by Lex.


* * * * *

Martha knew her son. Knew him on a level she sometimes thought was something to do with his origins because it was such a force within her. She'd known from the minute she'd spotted him go straight over to the barn that he was troubled.

The phone call from Chloe had decided her that it was time to interfere however. Usually Clark came to her when he wanted any advice or even just a friendly chat. When he didn't, it meant that he was happy enough to sort out his own problems. But Chloe had told her what they'd been talking about before her son had apparently left in the middle of a conversation.

Climbing the steps of the barn however, she was surprised to find Clark doing something she hadn't witnessed him do in a very long time.

Her son was crying.

"Oh Clark honey, don't cry." She rushed over to his side, all her maternal instincts screaming at her to make it better.

He looked at her, his eyes red and full of pain. "How many mom? How many people have to suffer because of me?"

"Clark, the meteor shower wasn't your fault. You can't keep on blaming yourself." She smiled at him, trying to hide the sadness she felt inside. As much as she hated the deaths the shower had brought to her quiet little town that day, she couldn't help but be glad that they had brought her the child she had craved for from the moment the Doctors had told her she couldn't have one of her own. She ran her fingers through his hair, bringing her hand down over his cheek. "Listen to me. You weren't responsible. How could you have been? You were a baby Clark. You didn't have any choice in the matter."

Clark sniffed, wiping his nose on the sleeve of his jumper just as he used to do as a child and again Martha couldn't help but thank god for his presence in her life.

"But mom, why do I feel so responsible? Why does it hurt so much?"

Martha couldn't stand it any more and, pulling her son into her embrace she ran her hand down the back of his head, giving him the contact he needed to feel to prove that he was loved. "Because you care too much Clark." She pulled back a little, smiling at him again. "And that's not a bad thing no matter how much it means you hurt, because caring too much is better than not caring at all."

She pulled him back into the hug, wishing that she could somehow take away the pain he felt, knowing it was next to impossible.

* * * * *

Lex was sitting in his study, doing nothing more than letting the fire in the grate catch his eye, letting his mind wonder…

Yesterday in the Beanery he'd promised himself that once he'd finished his reports he was going to say hi to Clark and his friends. And it was almost 20 minutes later that he'd realised what he'd actually done.

He'd promised himself. Like Clark was a treat, something worth doing the dirty work for first so he could be enjoyed more.

He was starting to realise just what that actually meant. Clark was his friend. That he already knew. That Clark was something else to him as well was starting to make it self rapidly apparent.

Hearing the door to his study open, he reached out again for his brandy. "I said I didn't want to be disturbed."

When nothing more was said, the door closing again behind him, he assumed that it was just someone who hadn't heard his order before hand and had simply left him alone.

He was therefore surprised to see Clark suddenly standing before him. "You don't mind if I disturb you. Do you Lex?"

Lex found he couldn't quite form the right string of words to reply to that. The tone to Clarks voice was low, almost a growl and Lex watched in amazement as Clark straddled himself over Lex in his chair.

"Clark? What are you doing?"

Clark smiled, leaning down just so close to Lex's face, turning his head to the left in silent appraisal. "Your eyes look cold."

Lex frowned in confusion, wondering why he hadn't seen that faint almost invisible scar on Clark's forehead before. "What? My eyes? Clark, are you feeling alright?"

Clark shifted his position slightly, moving forward slowly over Lex, causing the older man to draw a quick intake of oxygen as he felt just how hard Clark was. "I could so very easily heat you up Lex." Clark came a little closer to him, licking him over his lips before finally pressing his mouth to Lex's.

Not understanding anything other than how good this felt, Lex moaned into Clark's mouth, surprised at the skill and the passion the younger man was displaying, gasping as he reached down to Lex's hardening cock and stroked it through the light material of his trousers.

Clark pulled back from the kiss, smiling as Lex had never seen him do before and despite any promises to heat him up, Lex felt himself shudder, almost as if a draught had hit him.

"Tell me you want me Lex. Tell me you want to fuck. Me. To fuck me hard and fast, holding me down as you bury yourself deep? Making me scream your name…"

Hell yes, it was exactly what Lex wanted, but this little dance was only going to happen when he was in control. "I'm not going to beg you Clark."

"Oh really?"

Before he knew how it had happened, Clark had grabbed Lex, tumbling them both to the floor. "Well, maybe I'll beg you a little. Beg you to kiss me." Clark leaned down again, and this time, Lex was ready for him, putting as much as he could into the kiss, wanting Clark more than he would have thought possible only 10 minutes ago.

He could feel Clark just as hard as he was, and he suspected that this wasn't going to last very long, but he just couldn't seem to care. Clark moved his attention down to his neck, causing Lex to gasp as he bit him, as he talked against his collarbone. "I'll beg if you want me to Lex? Beg you to let me swallow you down whole." Clark sat up a little, his hands feeling Lex through his shirt before he ripped it apart with his bare hands. Lex couldn't help but whimper as he applied the same treatment that he'd gotten on his neck to his left nipple and God, was he really going to come from this alone?

"Clark, wait. Oh God Clark."

"Lex?"

Lex opened his eyes to see Clark standing in front of him.

"Are you alright? You were calling my name in your sleep."

Sudden and horrible realisation that he'd been dreaming hit Lex and he struggled to sit up before Clark could notice in the semi-darkness that Lex was hard.

"Yeah, I…" He coughed, reaching for the brandy by his side as Clark made himself comfortable in the other chair in front of the fire. He drank half the glass.

"Are you sure you're all right Lex?"

Lex forced himself to think. Was he all right? No, not really. He was suddenly glad Clark had moved away from him, because if he touched him just now he'd come in his pants there and then and Lex hadn't come in his pants from a simple touch since he was 13.

"Fine. What about you?" Yeah, smart going, change the topic of conversation. "You seemed a little…rattled yesterday in the Beanery."

"You noticed me?"

Lex offered up a shaky smile, trying not to think about that dream, his libido cooling off a little. "Of course I noticed you Clark. Why would you think I hadn't?"

It was hard to tell in the warm light of the fire, but Lex thought he saw a faint blush creep across Clark's cheeks.

"Well, you didn't say hello for a start."

"I was busy. But, I was planning on it and you're changing the subject. What happened yesterday Clark?"

The younger man fidgeted a little, sighing as he realised that he was tired with hiding things. He wanted to tell Lex the truth, like he usually did whenever in his presence, but once again the image of his father warning him to be careful came to the fore. "I…heard some bad news is all." He looked over to Lex, saw the intensity in his gaze. "I…"

"Clark?"

God. He could feel the tears again. He didn't want to cry, not in front of Lex of all people, but he knew that if he didn't get out of here now he'd be blubbing again. "I have to go."

He stood up and would have been out of there if Lex hadn't followed him and forcibly stopped him with a hand to his shoulder. "Clark, what do I have to do to convince you that you can trust me?"

He could see the hurt in Lex's eyes. All those half lies and part truths finally catching up with him. "I do trust you."

"Then why won't you tell me?"

"Because I haven't told anyone Lex. I can't just…spill my guts, not with something I've hardly come to terms with myself."

Lex nodded, realising that he was a little closer to the truth he felt was the only real thing keeping them apart. "Answer me this then. If you had to tell someone, would you tell it to me?"

At that moment Clark wanted nothing more than to reach out and touch Lex's face, the heat rushing to his own in an instant as he just managed to stop himself from acting on the impulse. "You'd be the first Lex. You will be the first."

Lex smiled at him, and Clark suddenly didn't feel so burdened down with guilt anymore.

* * * * *

Yawning as she pulled her curtains Chloe kicked off her slippers and climbed into bed, turning out the light because she was too tired to read tonight.

Within minutes she was fast asleep and dreaming…

She was standing on the bank of a river she'd never seen before, a picnic spread out before her with all her favourite food. In front of her sat her favourite teddy bear, George, the one that had gotten lost in the move to Smallville.

"Wow!" She leaned over, picking him up. "Where have you been!"

"I found him in a boat further on down the stream."

Turning, Chloe found herself looking at a young woman she thought she knew but just couldn't quite place. "Hey there. You want to join us?"

The girl smiled, sitting down on the blanket that covered the grass. "I like it here. You come often?"

Chloe looked around her. She wanted to tell this girl that she'd never been here before in her life, but thought that to do so would only make her look silly. "Oh sure. We always have picnics here, don't we George."

The girl nodded, brushing the hair out of her face, a faint scar barely noticeable on her forehead. "It's just…"

Chloe smiled, happy in the knowledge that everything was right with the world. "It's just what?"

"I don't have a teddy bear."

Chloe looked down at George. She was lucky really. She'd had George to comfort her when it was dark; when the lightening outside had scared her; when the bogyman had possibly been hiding out in the fridge. She looked up at the girl, somehow knowing that she'd had nothing like that level of comfort in her life. "Here. You can have him."

She handed the teddy over, the smile on the other girls face giving Chloe the certainty that she'd done the right thing as she watched her cuddle it.

Suddenly the girl looked up, a smile on her face. "Well, since I have George, I think we should get you a new teddy." She stood, reaching out her hand to Chloe and pulling her up off the grass. "How about we win you one?"

Chloe smiled at her. "Win me one?"

"Sure." Leaning over, the girl gave Chloe a kiss on her cheek, a soft gentle expression of gratitude on her face before turning Chloe around to face away from the river

"Oh. My. God!" She turned back to the girl, unable to keep the smile off her face. "It's the fun fair!" Grabbing the girl's hand, Chloe dragged her across to the fair, laughing. "Last one to get sick on the big dipper wins!"

* * * * *


Clark had woken early the next day and was waiting for the bus down by the end of the lane. He'd already done all his chores. He'd even done a few of his dad's just to give him something to do, something to help him take his mind off things.

Throwing his bag to the ground, Clark hopped up onto the fence. He couldn't remember feeling so down before in his life.

When his father had shown him that…thing in the storm cellar it had taken a while to get used to the idea. He'd always known that the blood that ran through his veins was different to his mom and dad's, but now he didn't even have the comfort that he was the same species. Was there a support group for something like that? Probably only through e-groups on Yahoo.

He tried hard not to think about it, to put it in the back of his mind along with all those other thousands of questions he had. Who am I; where do I come from; why did you send me here. There wasn't a single day that didn't go by where he had to forcibly push those questions back, because really, who was there to answer them?

Now this. Another person whose life was ruined by his arrival on earth. When his folks had gone to bed last night he'd sat up to catch one of the news bulletins and had heard all about her.

How her brother had hugged her tight when the meteor's had started crashing, how a fragment of the same damn one that had killed Lana's parents had pierced him through the stomach and had gone right through to penetrate Sara's skull. No one had thought she would have survived.

She had though. Survived. But any kind of life she had had disappeared that day. She'd grown up angry, and after witnessing what she had who could have blamed her? One type of drug therapy after another didn't seem to work and one day she'd just ran away from the mental institution her parents had placed her in and had never been seen again until her cold and almost lifeless body had been found on her brother's grave.

Fuck.

In the distance he could hear the bus coming.

* * * * *

"It was amazing Pete. It was like I was really there."

Pete laughed as he bit into the apple he'd snagged on his way out of the house this morning. "I never dream."

Chloe gave him her patented sceptic's look. "Of course you do. The human mind has to or you'd just go blewie."

"Blewie?"

Chloe smiled at him. "You just don't remember dreaming, but you do." She turned to look out the window as the bus approached Clark's stop. "Look's like Clark's going to be late again."

Pete looked over, slightly surprised to see that Clark wasn't there. "He hasn't been late in a while. Maybe he's sick or something."

Chloe shrugged, trying not to feel the disappointment of spending a little time with Clark. "Clark never gets sick."

* * * * *

Looking up and down the corridor Clark waited until no one was about before he walked up to the room where he knew they were keeping Sara.

He'd told himself he wasn't going to do this to himself, but he couldn't help it. He had to find out how she was doing or it was going to eat away at him.

He'd overheard a couple of orderlies talking about her, surprised slightly that they'd put her in the same room as the one Chloe had been in, thanks to the meteor tattoo bandits and wasn't that just typical? Still, that meant he knew where to go.

No one tried to stop him and as he neared her room he felt his heart pounding. He couldn't help it, he was nervous. Afraid he supposed.

Pushing open the door he found himself a little shocked. Tubes everywhere, machines he didn't understand bleeping softy to one side of the bed.

And the girl…He'd seen her face last night on the news, but it had been an old photograph of her while her brother had still been alive. A picture of a happy little girl.

She looked so different. Stepping into the room he never noticed the door closing quietly behind him.

She looked so…peaceful. Like she was simply sleeping and someone had put her here by mistake. Her long black hair had streaks of blue and Clark was sure that all he had to do was nudge her and whisper her name for her to open her eyes.

"Are you family?"

Clark turned, too busy looking at Sara to realise a Doctor had come in behind him. "No. I'm…a friend."

The Doctor nodded, seemingly happy with that explanation.

"How is she?"

"Prognosis isn't very good I'm afraid. The drug she took pretty much was in effect by the time she reached us. We had to resuscitate her twice in the ER." He came over to where Clark stood at the foot of the bed, picking up her chart. "She's stabilised somewhat, but a scan revealed old scar tissue on her brain and we think that with the drugs she took, combined with the effects of an old injury…well, we don't see her waking up from this. I'm sorry."

Clark almost couldn't believe what he was hearing. "You mean she may never recover? At all?"

Sensing his worry, the Doctor made his way over to the girl, gently brushing a lock of her hair away from her brow before looking up at Clark. "It's unlikely I'm afraid. All we can do is look after her until…"

"Until she dies."

He nodded. "Yes. I'm afraid so. Even if she did wake up, chances are that she'd be left with a far more severe form of brain damage than she already had."

Clark couldn't hear this anymore. "I have to go. I'm sorry."

He almost sped out the door, the Doctor's cries of wait going ignored, as he made his way out of the hospital and just ran.

* * * * *

It wasn't often that Lex took the day away from work. Oh sure, he'd set it all up so that if they really needed him they could reach him, but he'd warned his secretary at the time; just don't expect him to be happy about it.

He needed time to think. He'd suspected for a long time now that his feelings towards Clark weren't exactly all that they should be. Problem was, he wasn't sure if he wanted to do the sensible, adult thing and try and push it out of his mind. To try and forget about it.

He knew Clark was younger than him, although really, wasn't 16 old enough to know what you where doing these days? Well, maybe in Metropolis. Here in Smallville? He doubted it.

If it was just about sex then it would have been just a simple matter of finding some tall, blue eyed, dark haired thing back in the big city and having the problem fucked out of him. Problem solved.

Only it wasn't solved and it was looking increasingly likely that it never would be. Clark made him feel human again. Made him feel like he was worth something more than his father's portfolio and it was that which was making this into something more than it really needed to be.

Sighing, he leaned over the pool table to take his shot when his cell phone rang.

"Lex Luthor."

"Lex? This is Martha. Is Clark with you?"

He could sense the tension in the voice, immediately felt it in himself.

"No. I haven't seen Clark since yesterday evening. Why?"

Silence. Lex suspected he'd been last on their list of people to call simply for the fact of how much they didn't want to find their son with him.

"He…he didn't go to school today and it's not like him to just disappear on us like this."

"You're right. That doesn't sound like Clark at all." Lex crossed the short distance to his desk, picking up his car keys. "I'm heading out now to take a look for him."

"Oh would you Lex? Jonathan's already out, but…"

"If I find him I'll call you immediately."

"Thank you. I'd better go. Jonathan could be trying to get through."

"I'll be in touch Mrs. Kent." Lex hung up and headed for the door…just as it opened to reveal Clark standing there in front of him.

"Clark!?! Are you ok?"

Lex watched as Clark wiped a hand over his face, a gesture of a much older man coming to a hard decision. "I'm ready to talk to you now Lex. I need…" He gulped, the tears in his eyes cutting surprisingly quickly through to Lex's heart. "I need…"

Lex crossed over to him in an instant, not once thinking about anything other than comfort as he wrapped his arms around the younger man, who seemed to just give up as he sank against him.

"It's all my fault Lex. All my fault."

Lex didn't understand him, but he left that to one side. He would know soon enough but right now, all he could think about was how nice it felt to run his hand down the back of Clark's head, easily ignoring the slight twinge of guilt at taking advantage like this.

Clark pulled back a little, but he didn't try to move out of the embrace. Instead he brought one arm up and around Lex's to wipe at the tears that where still slowly leaving a trail down his face. "I don't know what to do."

* * * * *

It had taken quite a lot of persuasion to get Clark to drink the brandy, the glass sitting half empty by his side as Lex had finally gotten him to calm down a little.

"Your mom and dad are worried about you."

That caught Clark by surprise. "Oh. I suppose I'd better call them."

Nodding, he threw Clark his cell phone, but he hadn't missed the lack of enthusiasm shown for that little idea. "You could always call them later." He shrugged, trying not to show his hand. "You just look like you need to talk is all."

Clark looked down at the cell in his hand. He'd already opened it up to dial out, but he quickly snapped it shut again. "They're part of the problem. I don't think I could face them just now."

Surprised at that remark, because honestly, he'd thought that the Kent's where the perfect family. Still, a lot of people thought he had the perfect life too. He'd be the first to tell them what a load of shit that notion was.

Rising up out of his seat, Lex knelt down in front of Clark, reaching out and gently giving his arm a tender squeeze. "You can tell me anything Clark. I swear no one will ever hear it from me. I'd rather die than break the trust of a friend."

For the first time since Lex had seen Clark today, he found the kid offering him a smile. "Then I think you'd better sit down for this one Lex, 'cause I'm betting that what I'm about to say isn't even gonna come close to what you think I've been keeping from you."

Puzzled, Lex got up from his chair, then sat down on the other side of the couch from Clark. He offered up a smile of his own. "I've got a pretty good imagination Clark. I doubt you can surprise me."

"I'm not human."

Lex looked at him for a second, realising that he should really be laughing by now except he could see the look of fear mingled with hope on Clarks face. He saw nothing there that led him to believe that Clark was trying to make a fool of him.

"You're not…human."

"No."

"Not human as in…alien?"

"Uh-huh."

"I...see?"

Clark nodded. "No. You don't. But that's ok. I guess you remember the meteor shower as well as anyone else from Smallville."

"Pretty hard to forget it."

"I…came down in it. In a ship." Clark watched for some kind of reaction, wondering if he could still pull back from it all by saying ha ha, fooled you. One look at Lex however and he knew that he'd fool no one with that line at all.

"You're really not human, are you?"

"No."

Lex reached over to Clarks abandoned glass of brandy, drinking it down in one go.

"You're freaked." Clark stood, the urge to run hitting him again. When he'd ran this morning he'd found himself on the other side of Metropolis and on the way to Capital City before he'd thought to stop. Now he just wanted to run and run and never stop again.

Lex however had other plans. He quickly stood up too, reaching out and taking Clark's wrist. "No. I'm not freaked."

"But I am Lex. I'm a freak. I'm a fucking alien from another planet! I came down in that meteor shower and people have been dying and suffering ever since. Even you."

"Is that what's bothering you? All the problems caused by the meteorite?"

"Lex! People have died. How can I not hold my self responsible for that?"

Lex felt the urge to laugh again, realising all to easily just how surreal this situation had become. However, he forced himself to remain calm. Pulling Clark along with him, he pushed him down onto the sofa, never letting go of his wrist as he sat down beside him. "It's not your fault."

"Then whose fault is it Lex? Who else is there to blame huh?"

Lex sighed. "Clark we all have our demons. Some of them we push back into the closet and we can forget about. Other's we have to accept and deal with or they drag us down and make us next to useless." He paused as he realised something. "I was right, wasn't I? I hit you with my car that day."

Clark just nodded, hardly able to look Lex in the eyes.

Not able to stand it anymore, Lex took hold of his chin and forced his eyes into direct contact. "Look at me Clark. Even now, the only thing I can feel any regret about is the thought that I might have hurt you that day. Other than that? I'm glad it happened."

Clark clearly didn't understand. "How can you be glad Lex!?! You almost died!"

"There's no almost about it Clark. I did die. But you brought me back after I soared over this place Clark. Can you imagine it? I flew. I was free and I wasn't afraid anymore."

"What do you have to be afraid of Lex?"

"I'm afraid of becoming my father. You really don't know what he's capable of. I'm afraid of becoming the kind of man who rather take an innocent from another planet, put him in a lab and cut him open just to see how he worked." Clark's eyes widened at that, but Lex held on. "You saved me from that Clark. You came to this earth and actually gave a damn whether I lived or died. No one alive on this planet gives a rat's ass about me except some kid from another planet who turns around and trusts me with the most important secret in the world. God Clark, you don't know what a gift you are to me."

Lex brought a hand up to Clark's face, cupping his cheek and swiping at a tear with his thumb. "Clark. I care more about you than anyone else…"

He hadn't meant to kiss him then. In fact, the urge in him at that moment had been to simply offer comfort and it seemed the most natural thing in the world to do to just lean across and...

He pulled back sharply; the taste of Clark's tears salty against his tongue, waiting for Clark to bolt from both this room and his life. Instead, something more like a sigh escaped him as he looked at Lex with hope in his eyes, far stronger than the fear he'd seen there earlier.

"You don't think I'm a freak." Simple statement of fact.

"No Clark. I don't. I never did."

This time Clark moved towards him, holding onto Lex's face as he initiated the kiss this time, a slow gentle exploration that Lex was happy to let him have. When it stopped, he leaned his brow against Lex's, never once opening his eyes. "I don't want to leave you tonight."

Lex wrapped his arms around him. "Then you don't have to."


* * * * *

Lex couldn't remember the last time he'd gone to bed before 9 o'clock, but right now, he couldn't seem to give a damn.

Clark was lying fast asleep beside him, leaving Lex time to analyse just what had happened.

The Kent's had been brought up to speed on Clark's where-abouts, the conversation held on the speaker phone so that there had been little opportunity to use Clarks secrets against him to get him home. Clark hadn't wanted his mom and dad to know that he'd told Lex about his true nature and as far as Lex was concerned, it suited him better that way. It gave him their power base without them even knowing.

They'd been able to tell that Clark was upset, but they trusted their son. Had to because really? There was little other choice.

He'd taken Clark to his bed and had simply told him that he wasn't expecting anything from him; wouldn't push him into anything. It had been Clark that had pushed him down and rained him with kisses before Lex had shown him how good it could be.

They'd made love. Lex smiled at that thought. He couldn't remember the last time he'd made love to someone. Oh sure, he'd fucked and been fucked, but there had never been that emotional connection with someone before.

He gently ran his fingers through Clark's hair, earning a contented little sigh from the body beneath him. It somehow seemed right that it took someone from another planet to turn up to show Lex the beginnings of love. Maybe it took an alien to bring out his tender side.

Yawning, Lex decided that anything else could wait. He was tired and he had a person he cared about and who cared about him in his bed. Curling up against that body, Lex gave a little contented sigh of his own and was soon asleep.


* * * * *

Clark was at school. Or at least, he supposed it was school. He couldn't seem to remember anyone telling him about an award ceremony though, but the teachers where calling people onto the stage and giving them medals.

He watched as Lana went up next, smiling as they gave her a medal for best application of make up in a school.

Still, it seemed odd that he was the only member of the audience.

"Hey there. Can I sit beside you?"

It was Sara.

This was great. Sara was alive and well. He couldn't believe it. "Sure! It's great to see you!"

"I'm Sara by the way."

"Oh. Clark. Clark Kent."

He gave another round of applause as Whitney came out of the sidelines next, accepting his award for the best use of hair gel by an under 18 year old in Kansas.

Sara applauded along with him before whispering. "This is a strange one."

Clark didn't understand. "Strange? How so?"

Sara nodded behind her. " I used to only stray as far as the other patients, but now I'm getting a bit more range. Did you know there's nothing behind you but a graveyard? Is this Smallville High School then?"

Clark stood and turned, knocking his seat over as the award for the person most likely to have become a reporter for the Dailey Planet if only they where still alive went to Chloe.

"Why is there a graveyard in your dreams Clark?" Sara laughed. "Don't tell me you're as fucked up as me, huh? This kid on the psyche ward dreams of killing all his family. Got a little creepy in that one let me tell you. "

Clark walked forward, not really listening as the images from when Cassandra had touched him came flooding back to him, only this time, this time he knew he'd killed them all himself. He stumbled over to one headstone and fell to his knees, somehow not surprised to see Sara's name on it.

"You're dead too." He looked around him, names he knew and names he didn't all bearing the same inscription…killed by Clark Kent.

Sara knelt down in the dirt beside him, running her fingers over the head stone. "Why does it say that you killed me?"

Clark couldn't turn to face her, couldn't find the words to explain.

"Why! Why does it say that!?!"

The tone of her voice caught in him somewhere deep and he found still couldn't look at her. "I…I don't know."

She took hold of his face, and even then he had trouble looking into her eyes. "Why would it say something like that? Tell me!"

He pushed her away and stood, only to fall again as a gust of wind knocked him over and to his knees. God. What was he going to do? His mom and dad had been telling him for as long as he could remember that he wasn't to tell a *soul*. If he told her they'd take him away and he'd loose his mom and dad. He couldn't do that to either himself or them.

"Clark?" He heard the pleading tone to her voice, the quiet calm over the storm raging all around them. "I *need* to know. Can't you understand that? All my life I've been shoved around from one foster home to another. And that was the good times in my life! Can you imagine what it would be like being locked up? Taken away from the outside world and kept doped up with Doctors examining you all the time? Trying to find out what made you tick? If you know something…*anything* that can give me some kind of answer…"

He turned to look at her, her hair blowing around her face as the weather took a turn for the worse, unable to take his eyes away from the scar on her head. He reached out to touch it. "I did that to you."

She pushed his hand away, running her own fingers over the mark left on her 12 years ago. "A meteor shower did this to me. Not you."

Clark shook his head. "No. You don't understand. I came down with that shower. My ship crashed. I brought those damn rocks with me!"

Sara fell back as she moved away from him. "I don't believe you." But he could tell that she did simply from the look in her eyes, she just didn't *want* to believe him.

"It's true Sara. I'm so sorry."

Black clouds rolled across the sky, thunder and lightening only seconds ahead of the rainstorm that suddenly began to fall.

"You did this to me? You killed my brother?"

Clark couldn't look at her. Could only feel all the guilt he had inside him. "I'm sorry."

"Why?"

Why. It was a question loaded with years of suffering and anguish and all he had for her was no answer at all. He'd been asking himself that every night since he'd discovered the truth. Why had he come here, to this planet and to these people? And why had those damn rocks come with him? How could he answer her when he couldn't answer them for himself?

"I…I don't know why."

She stood, anger becoming more noticeable in her voice. "You came down in that meteor shower. But you don't know Clark. You don't know what it felt like. The fear, the screams of people, not knowing what was going on! Well, I'm going to change all that…"

Suddenly the graveyard disappeared and Clark found himself standing in the centre of Smallville, watching as a car full of cheerleaders drove past, shouting something about the Crows winning against Grandville this year again.

He looked around him. Then he looked up into the sky and he knew they where coming.

A black trail made it's way out of the sky, hitting with a force he hadn't expected, the ground shaking underneath him as he and a woman he was standing beside fell.

Looking up he saw a younger looking Nell with Lana in her arms across the street. Lana was wearing the same outfit he'd seen her in on the news article on Chloe's wall of weird. He looked up again as he saw another meteor blazing down on them, and watched as in a second, a man and woman he took for Lana's parents where there one minute and gone the next in a firestorm.

"No!"

He watched as a young man grabbed his sister, held onto her tight and turned his back to the carnage behind him, only to have a chunk of rock almost cut him in half. Both the boy and the girl lying in a bloody puddle close to the blazing car and the charred remains of Lana's family.

"No. Please, no…"

Sara walked up to him, kneeling beside him. He wanted to move, he wanted to run faster than he'd ever run in his whole life. His mom and dad had barely spoken to him about the actual events that had taken place that day apart from finding him. Now he knew why.

Sara ran a hand across his head, almost gently before grabbing his hair and forcing him to look. "Every time I slept Clark, all I could see was this moment over and over again. Then I came back to Smallville. I'd had enough you see. I just wanted to close my eyes for good and go to my brother. And if there was nothing but oblivion then that would have been a blessing too. Anything so I wouldn't have to watch this night after night after night!"

She was cheek to cheek with him now, watching as people screamed, as a few tried to help her and her brother. "I don't even have to look at it anymore Clark. I can close my eyes here and tell you exactly what's going on. Look, there's my brother coughing up blood all over what's left of his favourite Crow's T-shirt."

Clark wanted to push her away, but he couldn't. On some level he knew this was more than a dream. Knew that Sara was really here with him inside his own head or in hers, he couldn't tell.

"I came to Smallville and after I tried to kill myself, I found out I could hop from one dream to another. I met that girl…Chloe. She's nice. I imagine we would have been friends if it hadn't of been for you!"

She grabbed him, throwing him hard across the street, walking through the ambulance that was screaming to the scene. "I'm in control here Clark. There isn't anywhere you can go that I won't be able to find you. All you have to do is close your eyes and go to sleep and I'll be there; killing your friends, your family…watching you burn…"

The flames seemingly sprang up from no-where, the pain almost like that from the meteorite only hotter.

"I'm off to visit Chloe now. I think we'll go swimming in that river. Catch you later Clark."

She faded into noting, leaving Clark to burn.

* * * * *

"Clark! Wake up Clark. You're having a bad dream."

Clark opened his eyes, in his panic knocking Lex's hand away as he touched his shoulder.

"Lex?"

Lex ran a hand gently over Clark's chest, the path it took smooth, finding his hand covered in sweat.

"You were dreaming. You ok?"

"Yeah." Clark covered the hand on his chest, squeezing it a little just to prove to himself that he was there and real and that Lex was…safe. "It was just a stupid dream." He forced himself to smile, feeling the need to connect with him again, to feel that bond he knew he shared with Lex. He reached up and reached out, his hand sliding round the back of Lex's neck pulling him to him.

"Lex…"

"God Clark, you don't know what you do to me."

Clark came close enough to feel Lex breathing on him, still not touching him, moving his lips as close to Lex's as possible. "I want…" He gasped as Lex drew his hand down under the blankets over Clark's body, as it slowly came over his already hard cock. "Oh Jesus. I want you Lex. I want you...in me."

That stilled the hand cupping him, Lex looking at him. "You…Clark, why?"

Clark brought his hand up to Lex's face, only Lex noticing how it trembled. "I just need to feel… you Lex. Please…"

Lex silenced him with a kiss, moving over Clark so he was positioned right over him. "Clark. You're not ready for that. Hell, I don't know if I'm ready for it yet." He placed his hand on Clarks shoulder, drawing little circles with his thumb as his fingers dug in slightly against Clark's back. "That doesn't mean you can't feel me…"

Lex smiled as he leaned down, his tongue flicking out to taste first Clark's left nipple, then his right before finally stopping to give one of them some serious attention. He nipped at it with his teeth, causing Clark to moan and bring his hand down over Lex's head, pushing him down a little harder. Lex laughed against the hard nub in his mouth before giving it one final, hard bite, Clark bucking slightly against him.

"Did you feel that?"

Clark looked down at the grey eyes looking at him. "Yes."

Lex grinned and Clark felt his whole body shudder in response. "God…Again…do…do that again…"

Lex bit his bottom lip before shaking his head, moving down to the prize he was after, ignoring Clark's pleas as he kissed and licked his way down his lover's body.

Last night had been nothing but a simple, if effective lesson in discovering each other's body. Touching and stroking and finally getting what they both wanted had been enough to leave the both of them content.

Now though, while wanting more, Lex wasn't willing to just take Clark to the edge so quickly. He wanted a journey out of this…whatever this was between them. To save that treat for when he was sure Clark knew exactly what he wanted and that there was no coming back from this.

Lex was down at Clark's cock, unable to take the lazy smile off his face as he just breathed in deep.

"Oh…god. Lex…"

"Sshh Clark." He looked up at him, his eyes full of want and need. "You smell so fucking good…"

Clark moaned again, as Lex simply reached out his tongue and licked the head, tasting the pre-cum in his mouth. Tasted human to him. Not that he cared if it tasted like motor-oil, it was Clark, pure and simple and was like everything he ever wanted.

Clark had stretched out his hands in the king-size bed, twisting up the sheets a little as he grabbed hold and made these…noises, that just turned Lex on even more.

A laugh from above him and he couldn't help but smile around the dick in his mouth as he looked up. He raised his eyes in question.

"Just…God, wondering how I'm…going to explain the smile on my face…in…class."

Lex couldn't help but laugh a little around the hard cock in his mouth, Clark trying to gasp his name as he came, Lex swallowing everything he had to offer.


* * * * *


The sun was shining through the open window as Clark finally decided that he could get up. He knew Lex didn't have to get up this morning quite so early as him, and he'd enjoyed watching Lex fall back exhausted after Clark had tried out his first ever blow job, stroking his chest as he finally drifted off to sleep.

Clark had stayed awake.

He turned, hearing something he couldn't quite place at first. "Oh no!"

Lex mumbled at him, slowly opening his eyes. "Clark?" What he saw caused him to wake up a little more quickly than normal. "What is it?"

"I can hear my dad's truck pulling up."

Even Lex looked slightly panicked at that. "You do know your father will want to kill me if he sees you like this, right?"

Clark smiled. "It's ok Lex. For a second there, I forgot you knew."

Lex was puzzled. "Knew? Oh. The alien thing?"

Clark grinned, getting up and heading over to the bathroom, switching on the shower before coming over and kissing Lex slow. "Watch this…"

Suddenly, Clark was gone from his side in a blur that seemed to go to the bathroom before it darted around the room picking up the clothes that lay strewn about the floor, before finally stopping back in front of Lex, depositing a fully dressed, washed Clark by his side.

"That was…"

"Amazing? Unbelievable? Incredible? Incredible?"

Lex grinned. "Pretty fucking cool Clark. You do realise you said incredible twice?"

Clark kissed him again. "That last time I was talking about the sex. I'll see you later ok?"

Lex laughed. "All right. Meet you at the Beanery, say 6.30?"

"It's a date."

"Good."


* * * * *

It had been hard convincing his parents that he was fine now. His dad had taken him back home, where Clark had tried to explain that he'd just felt bad about what had happened to everyone since he'd landed and Lex had simply been a slight escape from it all for a night. His mom had looked at him, a question forming on her lips but dying with a look to her husband. They'd agreed that if he was all the better for it, then his day off had been a good and necessary thing.

So Clark had showered again, just to make sure his parents didn't suspect anything out of the ordinary and ate some breakfast, escaping from one awkward situation into another.

"Clark! Where were you yesterday? Your mom and dad were freaked!"

Clark turned in his seat on the bus, so he could talk to his friends. "Keep it down, huh Pete?" Clark sighed as he prepared to tell another lie. His parents had helped him to concoct another lie to explain everything to his friends. "I just had some…stuff to sort out is all."

Chloe smiled evilly. "Said 'stuff' wouldn't have anything to do with a bald billionaire, would it?"

Clark looked at her, realising he was going to blush. Did she know? How could she know? "What…" He forced himself to calm down. There was no way she could know. "What do you mean? Why would it have anything to do with Lex?"

Pete laughed. "Chloe thinks she's psychic now. She's been having these dreams."

"Yeah Clark. You wouldn't believe them. It's like, I can control them and do anything I want. Last night I went for a ride on a flying horse. It was amazing!"

Clark suddenly felt like he was dreaming right now. "Why would you say that about Lex then?"

Chloe blushed this time. "Well, it's just I had a dream about the two of you at…at the Beanary." God, she hoped it didn't sound like she was lying.

"Lex and me?"

Chloe smiled at him, a reassuring smile that Clark felt she really needed to work on a bit more. "Relax Clark. It was just a dream. It didn't mean anything." She paused and Clark just knew what she was going to say next. "You didn't see Lex yesterday by the way, did you?"

"No."

Clark shifted in his seat, turning round to stare ahead of him. When had his life become such an open book?

* * * * *

It was a simple really. He just wouldn't sleep ever again. Ever. Of course, he knew he was yawning as he was thinking this, which was why the coffee date with Lex was going to *be* a coffee date and nothing more.

A hand trailed over his shoulder briefly, Lex coming into view with a smile on his face.

"Hey Clark."

Clark grinned. A lot. Thoughts of what he'd done the night before killing the blush. "Lex. What are you doing here?"

Lex smirked at him and, yep there was the blush. Damn. "Just passing by Clark. Thought I'd call in for a coffee." Just then, a waitress passed them by, Lex giving her their order. "So? How are you? I haven't seen you in…oh." Lex looked at his watch. "Ages."

Clark laughed, just as Whitney and Lana came in. Lex was pleased to note that Clark hardly spared Lana more than a glance.

"I'm fine. Better actually that I was. Hey, could you maybe help me with my chemistry?"

"I always believed you had great chemistry Clark."

Lana, who'd been heading towards a window seat, overheard and came over; sitting on the arm of the chair Clark was sitting on. "You having problems Clark? Maybe I could help you out with that."

Pleading eyes turned to Lex, who at that moment could easily assure himself that Clark had no interest in the ex-cheerleader what-so-ever. "Sorry Lana. I've already offered and besides…" He took his coffee from the waitress, smiling his thanks. "After he saved my life, it's the least I could do."

Lana laughed. "What? Torture him with science?"

Lex locked eyes with Clark and Clark alone. "Something like that." Whitney was coming over and, despite how much he cared for Clark, he really didn't want to have to put up with the jock who'd stuck one of the few people Lex cared about up in a cornfield, no matter if Clark had forgiven him or not. Maybe he could offer to have Whitney buried alive or something. Looking down at his watch, he offered up a groan and, taking a long drink of his coffee, stood up. "If you want to come over later Clark, I'm sure I could help you out. I've got to run right now." He smiled when he saw Clark's expression. "Business."

"Bye Lex." Said Lana.

"Yeah, bye Lex." Clark watched him go. Great! His plan to stay awake was rapidly being foiled by Lana and her boyfriend depriving him of Lex's company. Realising he'd just had a nasty thought about last week's love of his life, Clark put it down to Lex's good influence and spent the next half hour chatting with them both.

* * * * *

"Hey mom. "Where's dad?"

Martha glanced up at the clock above the mantel, before turning an up-raised eyebrow at her son. "He's over at Bill Townie's place, helping him out with his tractor. Which is a nice move Clark, but don't think you can get past me so easily." Setting her book down on the coffee table, she moved closer, something about her son just…off enough for her to notice it, but not exactly what. "It's late Clark. You should have been home ages ago."

She could tell by the faint rosy turn to Clark's cheeks that he was about to spin her some tale. "And don't even think about it!"

He looked up at her in surprise. "I was at the Beanery with Lana."

"For two hours? You said you'd be home by 7 Clark. It's almost 9.30."

"Then I went over to Lex's. He was helping me get to grips with my chemistry assignment. I missed the class remember?"

"Hmm. Well, did you get anything to eat?"

For some reason, the blush on her son's face intensified, although for the life of her she didn't know as to why. "I…I could eat if there's any of your apple pie left?"

Unable to help herself, glad that he seemed to be over his latest crisis, she ruffled his hair. "You know I have. Come on, sit down and I'll get you some."

He smiled at her, a grin that she'd always found hard to turn down. "With…maybe a glass of milk?"

That caused her to laugh. Yep, there was her son, back on form. "Yes, with a glass of milk."


* * * * *

Martha looked up at the clock, surprised that it was after 10 and still no word from Jonathan. It was possible that Bill had done his usual and invited him in for a drink after helping him out with the tractor, but Jonathan was usually very good about letting her know if he was going to be late.

Strains of music filtered down from Clark's room. Nothing too loud.

Suddenly the lights went out, everything electrical dying inside the house.

"Clark?" Somehow he must have blew a fuse.

The sound of wood splintering and breaking crashed through the dark, men coming at her with torches, blinding her. "What…!"

The threw her roughly to the floor. "Clark!"

"Mom!"

The lights came back on just as two men dragged her son down the stairs. "Mom!"

Martha could barely lift her head up off the floor, someone pinning her tightly. "What are you doing to my son?! Leave him alone!"

For some reason everyone in the house froze and Martha could hear the footsteps of a single tread, as they made their way to where she was.

The first she could see of him was his feet. Smart black shoes. He leaned down so he could look into her face.

"Lex?" She was frightened now, more than her voice knew how to betray.

"Mrs. Kent." He straightened up, glancing over to Clark. "Open the box."

One of the men holding on to Clark pulled out a small box from his pocket and opened it, Clark immediately moaning in pain as he pulled Lana Lang's necklace out and placed it around Clark's neck.

"Lex! What are you doing!?!"

"I would have thought that was obvious. You see, just before I took your son to my bed, he told me all about himself. How he crashed in a space ship of all things right in the middle of Kansas." He nodded to the man holding Martha down, who lifted her roughly to her feet to stand in front of him. "And well, how could I resist? I mean an alien? How could I not want to know how he ticked?"

Martha found she almost couldn't breathe. "What…what are you going to do to him?"

Lex smiled, running a hand over his smooth head, Martha noticing a faint, almost invisible scar along his forehead. "I'm going to run some tests. Then I'm going to dissect him. Should be fun, I've never done an autopsy before." He grinned at her. "Well, never on someone who was still alive."

"Lex! Please! You can't do this!" She looked over to Clark, who was now being supported by two of Lex's men. "He's my son! He's your friend. He saved your life Lex! How can you repay him like this!?!"

Forcing her gaze back to Lex, Martha was shocked at the look of hatred she saw in his eyes. "Your son took everything I ever cared about. He doesn't deserve anything!" He turned back to the men holding a very sick looking Clark. "Take him away."

"No!"

"Mom?"

Martha opened her eyes to see Clark sitting beside her. "Clark?!"

"Mom? Are you ok?"

It was natural to want to keep something like this from Clark. A mother's instinct to protect her child. Which is exactly what Clark was…her child. She wasn't going to let some stupid dream torment her, or her son. Clark had enough to deal with.

So, she smiled at him, patted his hand. "I'm fine." She spotted the look he gave her straight away. "Really. Come on. It's late and you should be getting to bed."


* * * * *

Clark was in school, in the gym again. But no one was playing any kind of sport. Nothing about this looked like a game to him.

People were huddled in groups, cots set up along the walls. He could hear the sounds of someone crying somewhere, but when he looked he couldn't see any one person.

A hand touch his arm. "Are you all right son? Are you looking for someone?"

It was coach Walt, only he looked a lot younger and a little less, well, crazy. "I…"

Clark found himself being led over to an empty cot. "You set yourself down here, and I'll go get the coordinator to come and see to you." He gently pushed Clark down onto the cot, kneeling in front of him and giving his hand a gentle squeeze. "It'll be all right kid. Things are just a little confused right now. I'm sure your family are fine and just a little shook up from those damn rocks coming down like that. You wait and see, they'll be fine."

Clark watched him go over to some guy with a clipboard before they both turned round to look at him.

"It's pretty awful here isn't it?"

Sara was sitting beside him.

"What is this?"

Sara waved a hand at the scene before them in general. "Oh, this is the centre of the relief efforts Clark. You didn't just think that once those meteorites hit Smallville that the next day things went back to normal did you? This town didn't see normal for almost a year later. It takes time to rebuild."

Sara was looking a little tired and as much as he wanted to ask her if she was all right, he felt he had absolutely no right to. Instead he looked around him, his eyes widening a little as he saw someone else he knew.

It was Pete. A much younger version of his friend, but Pete none the less. He turned to Sara who simply nodded. "This is his dream. Every night. After the meteors crashed, he got separated in all the confusion from his mom. They'd come into town to buy him some new shoes while his dad signed away the family business to Lionel Luthor."

"He's crying."

"Yeah. He's hardly more than a baby Clark, he thinks his moms dead. He saw some woman being covered with a blanket and he thought it was her. It wasn't of course, but his mom had a bit of rubble hit her in the head and it knocked her out. His dad finds him soon though."

God, this just got better and better. Lana, Sara and now Pete. Looking around him he could only guess at how many other people he owed something to.

"And this is just the tip of the iceberg Clark. It really is. Pete has this dream every night, but his minds blocks it out. Has to or he'd go crazy…" She smiled at Clark. "I gotta go. Plans to plan." She reached down and gently cupped Clark's cheek. "I'm going to show you everything Clark. Every little bit of pain this entire town has suffered. You deserve to know, just as much as I deserved to have a life with my family."

She walked away through the gym doors, leaving Clark to look on as the people around him tried to comfort each other.

* * * * *

Clark woke up really the next morning, putting this dream with the others as a reflection of a guilt he felt. The question he'd been asking himself every time he woke up from one like this was did he tell anyone. The only answer to which was no. He didn't want anyone to worry about him. Not when they'd done so much for him already. He could hardly add to their worries by letting on just how much this was affecting him.

So, all had to appear as normal. Pulling on a t-shirt, he forced himself to think of something else and was soon smiling at the thought of spending the day with Lex.

Breakfast that morning was a little strained for some reason. His mom was reluctant to let him out of her sight, especially when he mentioned that he was going to head out after his chores to see Lex.

"I thought you liked Lex mom?"

"I do Clark." She glanced over to Jonathan, who was just as puzzled in her turn around as he was. Not that he could really disagree with her. "It's just…you hardly ever spend any time with Pete these days. Wouldn't it be nice to go say hi?"

Clark rolled his eyes at her. "Mom. Pete doesn't spend as much time with me. He's got a girlfriend now. Besides…" He reached out to lift the coffee pot from the centre of the table. "Lex promised me a turn around the battlements of that house of his." He widened his eyes a little, putting on what his father called, the Kent charm. "Battlements mom?"

Martha finally laughed. " How come you can make one word sound like a reasonable argument?"

Clark smiled her, putting his arm around his dad's shoulders. "I was taught by the best."

* * * * *

"And these are the machicolations. " Lex nuzzled at Clark's neck as he spoke, the tour taking a slight detour, as the sight of Clark's neck had simply become something he wanted to taste again.

"And…" Clark drew in a breath as Lex bit him. Hard. "And, what, what would they have used those for?"

Lex moved away from Clark's neck to smile at him. "Well, they'd throw things down the holes at any one who was attacking the castle. Oil was too expensive, and boiling water would cool on the way down…"

"So?"

"So, imagine all the muck of the day as well as stones and whatever else. Only here they're more for decoration than anything. This 'castle' is more along the lines of a manor house than anything, built in the various 'fashionable' styles of the time."

Clark nervously ran his fingers over Lex's crotch, earning him a wonderful gasp that only made him harder. "And you're telling me all this because…"

"Because you told you mom you where coming over to look at my…battlements. I wouldn't want to make a liar out of you now, would I?"

"Oh no, you wouldn't. You really really wouldn't."

Lex pulled him close, kissing him hard. "I haven't been able to stop thinking about yesterday Clark. Hell, I had to jack my self off last night thinking about your mouth on my dick like that…"

"Well, my mom did ask me if I'd eaten here yesterday…"

Lex couldn't help the grin. "And what did you say?"

Clark blushed. "That I wouldn't mind some of her apple pie."

Lex pouted, something Clark was sure that anyone who knew Lex would never believe him capable of. "Wasn't I dessert enough for you?"

"Lex, you were the main course…"

Clark fell to his knees, the back of his feet hitting the old stone wall behind him, Lex leaning against another as he slowly unbuttoned his lover's slacks and pulled them down, along with the silk briefs he was wearing. "God Lex…"

Lex put his hand on the back of Clark's head, urging him towards his goal. Clark however, needed none of it. Taking hold of the base of Lex's cock, Clark swiped his tongue over the head, savouring the taste, matching it in his head to what he remembered of yesterdays with nothing able to compare to having it here and having it now.

He looked up at Lex. "I still want you to…"

Lex shuddered. God. How could Clark not know how much he wanted to do that. "We will. Soon, I promise…"

It was Clark's turn to pout. "Promises promises." Then he grinned, swallowing Lex whole.

"Fuck…" It was a grunt more than an exclamation, but Clark knew it meant only good things. Like how much Lex was enjoying this

"God…your so good at that Clark…maybe you…."Lex gasped. "Maybe you should go into…business." The next thing he knew he was coming, the sensation of Clark swallowing all he had to give only adding fire to what he was already feeling.

Clark slowly let the dick in his mouth slip out as he pulled gently away, making sure Lex saw him licking his lips. "You couldn't afford me Lex."

Lex smiled, coming down to his knee's to face Clark before leaning over to lick at some of his own come off of Clark's chin. "Maybe your right." He kissed Clark hard, pushing him up against the wall behind him. "So let me repay in kind…"

* * * * *

"You seen Clark lately?"

Pete shrugged, trying not to show the trace of guilt he felt. "Nope." He caught Chloe's look. "Yes, all right, I'll call him tonight, put Annabel off."

Chloe slid into the booth across from Pete. "Annabel?" She did nothing to hide the smile on her face.

Pete smiled. "Hey, can I help it if the girl finds me irresistible?"

"Another one for the wall of weird."

"Hey!" A short cry of indignation, but they were both laughing so that was all right.

"So, you had any more of those dreams of yours?"

A wistful kind of smile crossed her face. "Yeah. They just get better and better, but…"

Pete leaned a little further across the table. He wouldn't admit it of course, but he loved hearing about other peoples dreams. He could never remember his own, and recently Chloe's had just been pretty amazing. "But what?"

Chloe looked uncomfortable. "If I tell you, you promise not to tell Clark?"

Pete's smile widened. "Ooo, one of those kinda dreams huh? You and Clark…"

"Pete? Drag your mind out of the gutter for a second. Promise you won't say a word to Clark?"

"Why?"

Chloe sighed. "Cause if he hears about them he'd only get embarrassed and…just promise and I'll tell you already."

"Ok, I promise."

"Sometimes, just when I'm having the time of my life the girl from my dreams starts telling me all this stuff about Clark. How the meteor's were all his fault, about…" God she could feel herself blushing. "How Clark is…" She felt awful even saying this, so she leaned in close and whispered it. "How Clark is sleeping with Lex."

Pete had just taken a sip of his soda and promptly spat it our again, choking. "Jesus Chloe, warn a guy before you put an image like that in his head." He felt himself frowning. "Is that why you asked him if he'd seen Lex the other day?"

"Yeah. Pretty dumb huh?"

Pete pulled out a tissue from the little dispenser sitting on the table. "Totally. You know Clark's hot for the luscious Lana. And besides…it's Clark. He'd be the first man to die of heat stroke brought about through blushing alone if someone even tried to have sex with him. Never mind Lex 'bald as a coot' Luthor. Besides, Clark's not into guys. We have Lana for proof."

"It just seems so real though Pete. It's like it's really happening."

"In your head?"

Chloe sighed. "Yeah, in my head."

* * * * *

Sunday had never been a busy day on the Kent farm. Jonathan's father had always been a stickler for Sunday being a day of rest, so after having lived with that routine all his life, it had passed down into present day. Which was why he and Martha were sitting on the porch, two bowls of ice-cream watching the sun setting low in the sky.

"I don't think spending so much time with a Luthor is good for the boy Martha."

Martha had just scooped up a spoonful of chocolate ice cream and was surprised as the question came right out of the blue.

"Lex is…" She fought hard against the image from her dream, knowing it wasn't true in the slightest. She had a suspicion where this friendship her son had with Lex Luthor was going to, but for the moment didn't think Jonathan was up to hearing it. She sighed, setting her bowl down to the ground. "Lex, believe it or not, is good for Clark. And this…friendship…it's good for Lex too."

"I don't give a hoot about Lex…"

"Jonathan! Don't you dare. I know you don't like his father, I can't say I like him much either, but…"

Jonathan turned to look at her, marvelling just how much he loved seeing the dying light of the day caressing her features. Her hair alone looked like tarnished bronze. Pride was his downfall, but Martha was the one person who refused to let him hit the ground. "But what?"

"Clark is stronger than Lex, and I don't just mean physically. Any influence Lionel has had rub off onto his son won't survive the onslaught of Clark. You know it, and I know it." She reached out and took her husbands hand. "Lex will become a better man than his father…if you just let Clark save him."

"He can't save everyone Martha."

"He's not saving everyone. He's saving Lex."

He sighed, squeezing her hand. "I'm just a blind farmer who lucked out the day he met you, aren't I? I love you so very much."

She smiled at him, remembering that awkward young man who'd caught her eye, knowing she would always see him whenever she saw her husband like this. "I love you too."

* * * * *

Jonathan woke with a start. He thought he'd heard a noise. He was just about to turn over and go back to sleep when he heard it again, only this time coupled with a whimper. Clark?

He looked at Martha, who was still fast asleep and, not wanting to worry her, he quietly slipped out of the room and down the hall to his son's bedroom.

The noises he was hearing were getting a little louder as he realised he was approaching the source of them.

He couldn't help himself. He was already beginning to suspect as to what it was, but this was Clark. He wouldn't do something like this, especially after he'd had that talk with him when he turned 15 and the rules had been established. No girls alone in his room.

The door was open a little, and, knowing he had a temper, he wanted to make sure he was justified in bringing it to bear on Clark. Maybe it was just a movie or something. Something a little easier to forgive.

He peeked through the slim crack; the room lit up in perfect moonlight and saw two bodies writhing on the small yet sturdy bed.

"Harder…harder Lex."

Jonathan watched in horror as he saw Lex Luthor lying on top of his son. Doing…oh dear god…

He pushed open the door. "Clark!!! What the hell is going on!?!"

The two figures on the bed paused, moonlight reflecting off their naked bodies, Lex looking up at him with an amused smile on his face. "I would have thought it obvious Mr. Kent. I'm fucking your son." Lex slid a hand up Clark's back and to his face, turning his head a little so he could lean forward and kiss him.

Jonathan was frozen in rage. "You bastard! Get away from him! Now or so help me…"

Lex began moving again, pumping hard into Clark, Jonathan unable to move. "I own this boy. You make a move against me and I'll have your own son rip you apart." Underneath the sentence, Clark was moaning, grunting with pleasure. "Fuck off Kent."

Clark turned to look at his father. "Yeah…"Breathless, eyes glazed with pleasure and loathing and Jonathan had never felt that twist of fear for and because of his son before. "Fuck…off dad."

Jonathan stumbled out of the room, hardly able to think.

"Jonathan?"

Eyes opened to a room full of early morning sunlight, and for a second Jonathan felt like weeping with relief as he saw he was still in bed.

"Where's…" He coughed, a move to cover up just how gruff he knew his voice must have sounded. "Where's Clark?"

Martha was sitting at her vanity table, brushing her hair. "I think I heard him pottering about downstairs getting some breakfast. Why?"

He sat up and swung his legs out the side of the bed. "No reason. I just wondered is all."

* * * * *

Lex was walking out of the bathroom next door to his bedroom when he spotted something about himself in the mirror.

He'd only caught it out of the corner of his eye and, simply because he had to double check on what he thought he'd seen, he backtracked to the mirror that had been placed to the left of the medicine cabinet.

He stared at himself long and hard, trying to deny what he saw, what he was surprised the rest of the world hadn't seen yet.

He looked…happy.

Not the sort of happy that any moron could see on someone just because they had a smile on their face. Oh no. This was something much much worse.

This was a bone deep kind of happiness. He could see a little of the hardness he was accustomed to seeing around his eyes simply gone. He looked less stressed too and for some reason he found he could smile a little easier and for better reasons than he'd had before.

And this was all Clark's fault. "Damn you Clark." But he said it to his reflection and the Lex in the mirror was highly amused.

Laughing a little, Lex walked into his bedroom, throwing back the sheets and climbing in. It had been hard (Clark agreeing with him completely and eagerly at the time) but Lex had insisted that they weren't to see each other in the castle on school nights. As much as he knew he was falling for his delectable farm boy, he didn't want to mess up his education any. Therefore, any and all meetings through the week had to be conducted in public unless things get out of hand. Or into hand, as the case may be.

Lex finally gave into the urge and laughed out loud. The odds of someone like Clark coming into his life had been pretty damn high to begin with, but to discover that he'd fallen to earth from another planet and had found him, had fallen in love with him, just proved to Lex that there really was a God and she had a really wicked sense of humour.

* * * * *

"Lex! My boy! Congratulations."

Lex looked up in puzzlement at his father, trying hard to remember why he'd never spotted that scar on his forehead before. "Dad?"

Lionel put his arm around Lex and for a second, he felt like shuddering at the close contact. "Dad, what are you…" Lex looked around him and saw he was in his lab, the one he'd had while he'd been at Metropolis University, the one he'd had his father add to the house for his studies. "Didn't this room burn down years ago?"

His father just laughed it off. "Never mind all that. Not when LuthorCorp is about to unveil it's
biggest, most historic find yet!" Lionel turned round to look at his son, a smile on his face that Lex had never seen on him before. "You've made me so proud. I knew you could do it Lex. You just had to apply yourself, get past those stupid emotional ties…"

Lionel stepped out of the way only to expose Lex to what was obviously a body hidden under a white sheet at the end of the lab.

He turned to his father. "What the hell is this?"

Lionel looked at him, surprise showing in his face. "Why, it's your greatest achievement son."

Lex strode down to the table, the smell close to what he'd come to associate with his mother's final days on this earth. Only as he got closer, the sheet wasn't as white as he'd at first thought. It was red, a pure colour, stark against the remaining white of the sheet.

"Look at it Lex. Look at it."

Lex reached out his hand, knowing what he would see, just not wanting to prove it to himself.

"God, I thought we'd gotten past this sort of nonsense!" Lionel was by his side and tearing off the thin damp sheet revealing…

It was Clark. Naked and lifeless, his chest ripped open exposing him right to the core. Lex's hand automatically rose up to his mouth as he turned with wet eyes to look at his father.

"I…I didn't do this…"

Lionel just patted his shoulder. "Of course you did son. It's why I'm so proud. You overcame the last obstacle in your path to greatness."

Lex looked at his father, unable to believe the smile on his face, or…or the scar on his forehead. Hadn't he seen Clark with the same damn scar not so long ago? This wasn't his father. And just like that, Lex knew he was dreaming, knew this wasn't real or that he'd ever do something like…like that to Clark.

"Who the fuck are you?"

Lex knew he was right when he saw Lionel's smile falter a little. "What? Lex…"

He grabbed the man who claimed to be his father by the collar, pushing him hard into a near-by bench, glass vials and other lab equipment smashing as it hit the ground. "I said…Who. Are. You!?!"

Lionel shimmered in front of him, revealing a young woman he was sure he'd seen somewhere before. She pushed at his hands. "Get off me!"

Lex was ready to throttle her. "What the hell is all this? Who are you?"

The girl regained her composure, pushing hard to get out of Lex's grip. "What do you care! Nobody cares!"

A sudden sickening blur of motion all around him and with a start he found himself awake and vomiting over the side of the bed.

* * * * *

"Clark! Time to get…up? Clark? You're up early for a school day." Martha peered at her all ready-dressed son, her fingers brushing over his face as she spotted the dark circles under his eyes. He didn't feel warm; well, any warmer than was usual for him. "Are you feeling ok honey?"

Clark smiled at her. "I'm fine mom, I just woke up early is all. Breakfast ready?"

Martha smiled. "It'll be ready in 10."

Clark watched her go before collapsing back down onto the bed.

He'd had one dream too many, the realities of the little used Smallville morgue filling above capacity on the day of the meteor shower the last punishment he was willing to take in his sleep. All he wanted was to curl up beside Lex and pray for a night without any of the haunting images his subconscious was dishing out to him. He could only hold this smile on his face for so long, could only ignore the cries of his body demanding he go to sleep for just a little longer.

He felt close to cracking up and he didn't know if his parents would understand…

He could almost hear her now while he was awake. Whispering to him off all the things she would show his mom and dad. How she could hurt them if she wanted, distract them. Images of his father and the blood pouring out of him as the buzz saw tore through his fingers, his mother skidding off the road as Sara laughed in her mind, telling her of how Lex would happily carve up her son. He shook his head. "Stop it! Please! Just…just leave me alone."

He didn't stay for breakfast, flying out past his mom with a quick shout that he'd get something to eat later.

* * * * *

Lex was on his way to work after yet night of tormented images, yet it seemed as if he was building up some sort of immunity against the psychic attacks. And that was one thing he was sure about. This wasn't his subconscious messing with him. It wouldn't dare. This was a full out attack by someone with a grudge. Only now he was beginning to suspect that it wasn't simply a personal matter against him. All the dreams had two things in common. One, the girl with the scar and two, Clark.

The girl was getting easier and easier to recognise and once he did, he found that he knew he was dreaming and was able, to some degree, control what was going on around him. He suspected that whoever she was, she was able to somehow slip into his sub-conscious and manipulate the imagery to her liking. Seemingly, once he knew that, her power lessened enough for him to wake himself up.

He was still a little distance from the factory when he spotted from his vantage point, a trail being cut through the cornfield at speed.

Clark.

He watched as it came to a halt quite close to the turn off to the factory, just were he knew…

Jesus, what was he doing going back to that spot?

He came to a stop, glad that this time he wasn't heading into the corn at night and made his way to where he knew the scarecrow to be.

Not that he really needed his memory to guide him. He could hear a soft kind of sobbing that would have been easy to follow.

Not wanting to give his young lover a chance to run off, he kept quiet until he could see him.

"Clark?"

Clark turned, defeat written over his face just as the tears had left their own mark.

"Oh Clark…" He came over, falling to the ground beside the young man who had managed to save and change his life for the better simply by loving him. He made soothing noises, knowing that whatever was wrong he'd find out eventually. Right now, Clark seemed to need physical contact, and Lex gave it to him.

Finally the sobs died down, replaced by soft little sighs every once in a while. When he felt the time had come, Lex stopped stroking Clark's head and forced him to look at him.

"What's this all about Clark?"

Clark sniffed, and looked away. "Nothing. It doesn't…"

"Don't you dare say it doesn't matter. It does. It matters a hell of a whole lot, especially to me. Tell me."

Lex brushed away a stray tear and felt a sudden irritation urge to begin crying himself. Something was eating away at him and Lex just wanted to make it all better.

"Tell me Clark. Please?"

Choking in a deep breath, Clark told him everything. How he felt ever since that day in the Beanery when Chloe had told him about Sara King and the nightmares he'd been having ever since. How he couldn't sleep any more and face the truth…that his arrival on this planet had brought nothing but pain and misery to everyone around him. Even his parents and Lex hadn't escaped from it.

Hearing all this, Lex found it all too easy to put 2 and 2 together. Sara King was ripping Clark apart because somehow she'd discovered his secret and was using it to attack Clark and the ones he loved. An exercise in pain. Lex knew something about them himself.

He forced Clark to stand and told him he'd take him home.

"No." He smiled a little at him, and despite the pain still in his eyes, Lex felt a little better for seeing it. "No, I'd better head off to school. If I take another day off it'll…"

"Only look bad." Lex leaned forward, kissing him gently, rubbing his arm slowly, Clark wondering why he looked so grim. "I'm so glad we don't have any more secrets between us. I'd hate not to be able to help you with this Clark. You know I'd do anything for you, don't you?"

"I know. Me too. I've tried to regret telling you, but I can't."

Lex kissed him again, wishing he could take it further but knowing he couldn't. Not now. Soon though.

"Come by the castle later. We can eat and talk and maybe laze in front of the fire."

"On a school night Lex?" A touch of humour in his voice, Lex instantly feeling a surge of pride that this boy…correction, this man, could be so full of good intentions and hope and still somehow see past the black in Lex's heart to love him.

"Fuck it. I'll buy the school and tear it down. No more school nights without a school, right?"

"Very funny." Clark looked down at his watch. "School starts in five. Think you can buy it and wreak it before then?"

"I'd be pushing it, but I think it could be done. Need a ride?"

Clark kissed him quick. "Nah. I've got more horse power than a Porsche, you'd only slow me down."

A quick flash of a smile and suddenly Lex was standing in the middle of the cornfield by himself.

Shivering a little, he made his way back to the car and sat there for a long time before finally coming to a decision.

* * * * *

Was that someone calling his name?

Clark was jerked awake when Chloe hit his arm. Oh great, he was in class? Since when had that happened?

"And I want your reports typed up people. Anyone who hands in a handwritten copy loses an undisclosed percentage of the mark…" The bell rang just then, everyone finally allowed to blank Mrs. Calder out.

He filed out just like everyone else, waiting until Chloe caught up with him.

"Don't tell me, let me guess? What report was she talking about?" He grinned at her. Yet from the look in her eyes, she wasn't fooled a bit. "Come on. Pete's got practice now. We'll go sit on the bleachers and I'll tell you all about it in exchange…"

"In exchange for what?"

"In exchange for you telling me what's going on with you. You look like a wreak."

He shrugged. "Probably because I feel like one." He sighed. He knew a losing battle when he saw one; Chloe had that look in her eyes.

* * * * *

"So? What's up with you Clark? We haven't talked in ages."

"We've talked."

Chloe scowled and for a second Clark almost thought she'd been getting lessons from his mom. "All right. But we're talking now?"

"Are we? Seems to me…"

He gave her his most honest and open surprised look. The one he'd actually worked on when he'd first dented the frame of the truck door when he'd gripped it too hard when he was 12. She didn't buy it. "Have you…" He didn't want to say too much, nothing that would perk up her journalistic interests, because he knew she was capable of turning them on him seemingly without thinking about their friendship until someone pointed it out to her. "Have you ever had a dream so real…It's like being there? Not knowing that you're asleep?"

"Yeah. In fact, for a while now, I've been having dreams just like that. But I'm guessing yours aren't so great huh?"

He sighed, wearily rubbing at his face. "You could say that. People dying all around me." He looked up at her, suddenly desperate not to let her know that she'd been one of the dead last time, lying so cold at his feet before turning accusing eyes on him, blaming him…

She reached out and touched his arm. "It's all right Clark. Dreams, they don't really mean anything ok? Not if you don't want them too."

He nodded. How could he explain it to her? Lex was the only one he could really talk to about this. He didn't want to add to his mom and dad's problems by telling them he thought he was going crazy. He realised something she'd said. "You said you where having dreams like that?"

A Chloe smile, one he found himself smiling along with. "Yeah! It's funny, but ever since I did that article about Sara King, I've been having the best dreams about her." He watched as Chloe blushed. "We do all this amazing stuff together. One night…" Clark cut her off.

"You dream about Sara King?"

"Yeah. Just about every night. I guess I really must empathise with what she's going through."

And just like that, Clark knew. Knew that it wasn't just a matter of the guilt he felt that day he came to earth. It was Sara. She'd been doing this to him.

"I thought it was just me…" He stood, not really sure why until he realised something Lex had said.

"Clark?"

"I'm not the only one." He could suddenly see the dark circles under his parents eyes, the way Lex had looked at him in the corn field, as if he knew how he could help…I'm so glad we don't have any more secrets between us. I'd hate not to be able to help you with this Clark. You know I'd do anything for you, don't you?

Christ!

"I have to go Chloe. Catch you later, yeah?"

He didn't have time to hang around for her reply, and once he was sure no one was looking, Clark ran.

* * * * *

He'd checked the castle. A pointless exercise because he knew Lex wouldn't be there, but he had to hope he'd be there because he didn't want to even think about the alternative if he didn't have to.

He could have checked the factory, but as he ran to the hospital, he knew he'd find him there.

He came in to the room, finding Lex standing at the bottom of the bed, his back to the door.

"Lex. Don't."

Lex said nothing and it was only for the sounds of the monitors bleeping quietly in the background that he knew that Sara was still alive.

He reached out a hand to Lex's shoulder, turning him around to look at him and…

Tears.

Lex was crying.

Tears slowly sliding down his face and Clark felt both a terrible desire to kill Sara himself just to ease whatever pain Lex felt and an immense sense of…trust and something indefinable that Lex would trust him enough to let whatever side of him that this was to show. He immediately wrapped him in his arms, looking at the still figure lying over his shoulder. Just then, in that single moment he hated her more than he'd ever hated anyone in his life.

"Lex?"

He pushed Clark away, wiping the few errant tears that had escaped. "You know why I'm here, don't you?"

Clark nodded. "I know. And I know why, but I can't let you do…"

"I couldn't."

Not what he was expecting to hear, but the relief that swept through him was like being pulled away from a meteor…extreme pain transmuted into sudden relief. Still, the fact that Lex was even standing here…it was enough to send a spike of pure terror through him that Lex was so close to letting go of Clark and stepping towards something that would destroy him. "You wanted to though, right?"

A smile, one with it's own pain and fear. "No. I just…I just wanted to set you free, and…and I found the price too high."

"Because you couldn't kill her?"

Lex bit at his bottom lip, the absurd thought flashing through Clark's head that that was his job. "No. I could kill her. Kill her and get away with it." He pulled out a clear, half filled syringe. "There would have been no trace of this left in her system and it would have killed her in a few hours. Long enough to get away for an alibi Clark." He handed the syringe over to Clark, never once looking at him, Clark quickly putting it in his pocket.

"Then why…" He just wanted to understand, because, Clark knew that what ever was said here would determine if they would have a future together or if Lex was simply not the person he'd hoped he was.
And Clark found himself praying to he didn't know what that Lex would give him something to cling on to, to let Clark save him again.

"Damn it Clark! Don't you get it? I…I'm a Luthor. " He laughed, a horrible sound that filed the small room. "I…I know what my father is capable of Clark. I know what I'm capable of. I just thought that the two sets of values where different."

"You're not your father Lex."

Lex laughed again, a sound that became almost a whimper as he rode out a wave of hysteria. "I thought I'd do anything for you Clark. Thought you were the one person I'd cross that line for if I had to."

Clark almost couldn't believe what he was saying. "You think that you don't love me because you weren't willing to kill for me? Is that it?"

"I'm a Luthor Clark. I don't think anyone born with that name knows the meaning of the word love." He finally looked up at Clark, wet eyes full of despair. "I said I'd do anything for you…"

"Lex…"

"I should have been able to do it Clark. Even if you'd never be able to look me in the eyes again, I should have been able to save you."

"Lex…I wouldn't want to be saved. Not like that and not for such an impossible price to pay. You seem to think that this is a one-way deal here. It's not. I love you. I love you so much it scares me sometimes." He saw the confusion warring on Lex's face and tried to explain himself a little better. "I never thought I'd find someone who could love me. And until recently I never once thought I'd find it in you. But I did. And you have done 'anything' for me. You saved yourself. You saved yourself so I could still love you." He reached out and took Lex's hand, entwining their fingers together. "You were right. If you had've killed her I'd never be able to be with you ever again. The taint of it would have ruined us and eventually would have torn us both apart. And I don't think I could love just anyone. All my instincts are screaming at me that where ever the hell I'm from, we mate for life and without you in mine, I'd have no one."

"So, what you're saying is that, I must love you if I'm willing to let you suffer."

"If you had killed her, you're right. You would have become your father. And he just scares the hell out of me." He smiled, hoping to show Lex that he meant every damn word he was saying. "Right now you are as far from becoming your father as I am Lex."

"Clark…she's slowly ripping you apart."

Clark brought the held he held up to his face, gently kissing those strong slender fingers. "We'll find another way."

Lex looked back at the girl lying so still in front of him before turning back to Clark. "We will. I promise you we will. And thank you Clark."

"For what? You wouldn't have killed her Lex. I didn't stop you. You did it yourself."

Lex pressed his lips to Clarks; a tender kiss he hoped conveyed everything. "You've proved to me that I'm capable of love."

Clark smiled. "Oh. Well, your welcome then."

Lex tightened his grip on Clark's hand. "Are you always going to save me?"

"Yes."

Comfort and relief in one simple word and Lex almost didn't know what to say, he just wasn't used to someone caring for him like that. "Come on then. We'll go back to mine and see if we can't think something out between us."

"Maybe even…"

Lex turned, a little shocked at what he thought Clark was proposing.

"No." Clark felt himself blush. Wasn't he over that yet? After all he'd done with this man? He blushed even more at that thought. "Heh…no, I didn't mean that. I just thought that maybe…maybe you could let me sleep with you? She's everywhere right now, but when I'm with you…" How come asking this was so hard yet he could go down on Lex without a second thought?

Tightening his grip on Clark's hand, Lex simply nodded and led him out, wondering how on earth he could save them both from all of this.

* * * * *

"Clark?"

"I'm being a pain aren't I?"

Lex simply stretched out his hand. "No. I just wish…"

Clark yawned. "Yeah, me too."

Walking up the staircase, Lex felt his gut twisting. Since that day at the hospital, Clark had been sneaking out at night to come over and sleep with him in the castle.

Clark slept in his arms while Lex could only pretend to.

He couldn't sleep when he was with Clark, somehow or other the conscious that he'd had very little bother with in the past wouldn't let him. The need to stand guard, to just keep an eye on him while he slept became Lex's mission in life.

Of course, Clark didn't know this. He thought Lex slept with him. Instead, while Clark was at school, Lex would send his apologies to the factory, coming in late while he caught up on his sleep. Yet even he knew it couldn't go on forever.

Especially when he seemed to have to wake Clark every so often, his cries and whimpers causing Lex more distress with every night that passed.

Maybe he'd been wrong. Maybe he should have killed the bitch.

He'd seen Martha in town the other day, and she'd looked almost as tired as Clark did. In fact, she'd almost been rude to him and he was pretty much sure way. He knew what kind of crap Sara threw at him when he slept. God alone knew what kind of torment a woman like Martha, a woman born to be a mother, had to go through.

Looking down at Clark, Lex gently caressed his head, willing him to sense that Lex was there for him in all of this, no matter what she did to him. No matter what Clark let her do to him.

Lex turned, looking across the room to the curtains moving against the caress of the breeze from the open window. What if Sara's powers where like that? She had to come to them to affect them somehow. Yet all it would take for Lex to stop the breeze in the room was to close the window. Sara's powers seemed to lie directly within the mind. She could influence another's subconscious. Yet she was physically weaker than those she attacked. What if it was simply a matter of attacking her while she slept? Was it even possible? Would Clark be able and more importantly, willing to defend himself like that?

Then again, he had such a guilt complex about all that had happened since he'd arrived on earth that day, he would never believe he deserved to.

Well, Lex was thankful for his arrival. Clark had never taken anything away from Lex. Sure, he was missing his hair, but whether he was bald or a bright red head, he still got picked on in school about it, nothing had really changed on that score. Except he'd gained a new appreciation of himself. Stopped listening to his father and started listening to himself; made himself strong rather than becoming the man his father wanted him to become.

If anything, he owned Clark. Not the other way round.

This was wrong. Clark didn't deserve this. Clark didn't deserve any of it.

* * * * *

Lex frowned at the scene in front of him. "Clark? What are you doing here? What the hell is going on?"

Clark looked up from his position on the floor, tears staining his face. "Lex? Is that you?"

"Jesus…"

A scream rang out somewhere…a chilling sound that turned Lex's blood cold. "What the hell is this place Clark?"

The screaming was still going on, coupled with a hysterical laughter from somewhere down the hall.

"I don't know…I think, I think it's an insane asylum."

Just then, a couple or orderlies came into the room, shoving Lex hard out of the way, knocking him hard into a wall. Clark, seeing this, stood up to defend them, but one of them produced a green glowing rock out of nowhere, Clark collapsing in pain at the sight of it.

"Clark! It's not real! It can't hurt you!"

Damn that girl!

Lex ran after him, as they dragged Clark around the corner screaming Lex's name.

Chasing after them, he wasn't prepared for the site that greeted him. Clark was suddenly strapped into an old fashioned electric chair, Sara standing over him.

"They did this to my mom Clark. Can you believe they still do things like this? Electrocute someone? I mean, there's all these drugs they can use and they still have to resort to this."

Her hand reached out for the lever, Lex unable to get to her in time as she switched it on.

The screams as Clark cried out in pain shocked Lex back into action, diving for the girl and knocking her hard to the floor.

"He doesn't deserve any of this!"

She struggled under him, trying to get up. "Neither did I!"

She kneed him in the groin, causing him to tumble off her. She climbed to her feet, kicking him while he was down, making sure he stayed there as she increased the voltage and released another surge of power.

Lying on the ground, listening to Clark's cries on pain, Lex knew he was dreaming again, only this time, somehow, he wasn't in his own head, he was in Clark's. Probably part of Sara's design to hurt Clark and Lex both. To let Lex watch Clark suffer.

He forced himself to stand, telling him self that any pain he felt wasn't real, that here, in this dreamscape, it couldn't control him like it could control Clark. Clark believed he deserved this, no matter how much Lex had told him otherwise.

Lex believed in something else entirely.

Sara didn't see him stand up behind her, her focus completely on Clark.

He grabbed her again; only this time he couldn't stand the thought that she would keep doing this over and over until she finally drove Clark to the brink of despair. And Lex didn't think he could survive that either.

Without really thinking, he threw her hard across the room, his only desire to get her away from Clark.

A scream was suddenly, sickeningly stopped dead as her head hit the corner of a table, her body crumpling to the floor.

Not really caring, Lex cut off the power to the chair, pulling the electrodes from Clark's forehead.

"Are you ok?"

Clark nodded. "Sara?"

Lex didn't take his eyes away from Clark until he'd unbuckled the last of the straps holding him down. Clark stood, supported by Lex and when they both turned round to Sara, a pool of blood was lying under her head.

Clark was over by her side in a second, Lex following simply because there was nothing else he could do.

Lifting her head gently, Clark brushed a lock of her hair out of her face. "Sara? Sara, can you hear me?" Somewhere, off in the distance a voice called out. "Clear!"

Her eyes fluttered open slowly, even Lex moved a little by the pain he saw there. "I had to…I had to show you what it's been like for me."

"Again! Clear!"

Clark nodded. "I know."

She nodded, once. "Good…"Her eyes closed and for a second, Clark thought she was dead, when a small smile formed on her face and her eyes opened once more. "John?"

Then she died.

* * * * *

Clark woke up with a start, daylight slowly beginning to filter through the open curtains. He turned to Lex, seeing him waking up a little slower.

"Lex…"

He nodded. "I know. I was there too." He sighed, reaching out his hand to touch Clark's face. "I'm sorry."

Clark didn't understand. "Sorry? Lex, you saved me."

"Yes, but at what price. I think we both know that Sara is lying dead in that hospital right now. And we both know I did that. I killed her Clark."

Clark sighed. It was true, Lex had killed her, but didn't he see that it was different now?

"Lex, somehow, I don't know how, you came to me. You saved me. You can't blame yourself for an act of self-defense. And that's what it was. Self-defence."

"I don't want to talk about this Clark."

"Lex…"

Lex turned and got up, looking at the clock on the mantelpiece. "It's getting late. You'd better get home before any one notices you're missing."

Clark got out of the bed, crossing the short distance to where Lex stood, putting his arms around his waist. "I'm not going anywhere. I told you I loved you Lex. That means sticking by one another through thick and thin. And that's just what you did. It wasn't anyone's fault."

Lex shuddered against the embrace. Life had a knack of taking away the things Lex ever took a chance on caring about. If Clark suspected the truth, he'd have been out of that door faster than Lex would have been able to see.

"I don't deserve you Clark." He laughed, scared now but unable to stop himself. "And you don't deserve a bastard like me. It's set in stone now. I'm my father's son. I guess I just thought that, up until now, I was my mother's son too."

"Lex. How many times…You thought you where saving me. It was a dream. One set up by Sara. It's hard to tell when you're in it that it's only that and not reality." He turned Lex around, away from the view at the window forcing him to look directly at Clark. "You saved me."

Lex forced himself to smile. Maybe, just so he could keep Clark, it would be alright to lie a little. "Will you save me?"

Clark kissed him. "Each and every day."

* * * * *

It had been a week since Sara had died and life was slowly returning to normal for everyone. Lex had noted that both Martha and Jonathan seemed a little more relaxed that one time he'd been over at the farm. Of course, he was still greeted with Jonathan's usual glares, but now that Lex was having sex with his son, he felt he should let Jonathan at least have that.

Clark had been very careful around Lex. Almost as if he feared that if Lex thought he could become like Lionel then he would. He made sure to tell Lex every day just how different he was from Lionel. How he could never love someone like Lionel, so Lex had nothing to fear as long as Clark loved him.

Of course, that love was now built on a lie. Lex had suspected that Sara's most vulnerable spot, her Achilles heel would be in the dreams she claimed she controlled. Lex had known what he'd been doing when he lay down that night and fell asleep against Clark.

Still, that was behind him now. It had to be or else…

No, he wasn't going to think about the 'or else's', or the 'what ifs'. He knew what they were already. Clark slowly going mad and Lex unable to do anything about it.

No. If it meant keeping Clark then he was never going to tell him the truth of what he'd done. It was a price he was willing to pay after all. He just had to hope that Clark was strong enough to keep him from going that far ever again.

He prayed that he was.

The door to his study opened, Clark coming in, dropping his bag to the floor as he almost prowled across to were Lex sat at his desk.

"Clark?"

Clark placed his hands on the desk, leaning across a little as he looked Lex in the eyes. "I haven't been able to stop thinking about you all day Lex. You've hardly touched me in nearly a week…"

Lex smiled up at him, all thoughts of Sara banished in an instant. "I've been doing my caring routine. What do you think?"

"I think it sucks."

"I do that too."

Clark grinned at him. "I know. But that's not what I want."

Lex stood, coming round the desk to stand directly in front of Clark. The tips of their shoes were touching. "What…do you want Clark? Tell me."

Clark licked his lips, taking Lex's hand and pressing it to his crotch. "I want you to fuck me."

"You don't want to fuck me instead?" Lex came a little closer, pressing down a little on the hardening length underneath his hand."

"Later. Right now, I want you, naked and pounding into me. Think you're up for the job?"

Lex gave a low laugh. "I'm always up when you're around Clark. I'm surprised you didn't notice?"

"Oh, I noticed. I'm also noticing way too many clothes here."

Lex moved, kissing Clark completely unaware of how he could describe the taste of him. Hope, desperation and lust all came to mind but they could never come close enough. He pulled away, not sure when a simple kiss had become a prerequisite for getting him hard. "Upstairs. Now."

Clark smiled, putting his arms around Lex's waist and lifting him. "Yes sir."

A blur and suddenly Lex found himself being deposited on his bed, Clark standing over him with a grin on his face. "Sorry it took me so long, but it gets a little harder to run when it…"

Lex cut him off, "When it gets so hard?"

"Exactly."

Lex laughed, and for the first time in a while, it felt genuine even to him. Kneeling he reached out and took hold of Clark's hip's, pulling him forward, pressing his face to Clark's denim covered dick, rubbing against it like a cat.

"Lex…"

"I need you naked Clark. Can't fuck you with your clothes on." He smirked a little. "Well, I could, but it wouldn't be as much fun."

Clark stepped back and within seconds he was standing naked in front of Lex.

"God…" Lex looked up at Clark, unable to keep the emotion out of his voice. "What did I ever do to deserve someone like you?"

Clark blushed, a little unsure how to answer. "I could ask the same question Lex."

He joined Lex on the bed, the two of them kneeling in front of one another. Clark started working on Lex's shirt, undoing the buttons very slowly.

"Do you know how far away the closest star is to our solar system?"

The shirt was off and Clark was happily licking at Lex's neck. "Can't say that I do. Why?"

Lex took hold of Clark's head, forcing him to look at him. "The Universe is immense Clark, the earth nothing but a speck of dust. Whether by design or pure luck, you found your way to me. So I ask you again…how the hell did I get so lucky?"

Clark felt him self freeze up a little. Even after Sara had gone, he still felt guilty, still felt the measure of Sara's bleak existence weighed against his own. "Not everyone was so lucky Lex. People died. They've been suffering ever since."

Lex kissed him, chaste, almost as if he were afraid he'd break him. "People have been dying and suffering on this rock forever Clark. But maybe…"

"Maybe what?"

Lex ran his fingers down the side of Clark's face. He could sense the hope in the question and he wanted to give him that, ease at least one of their pains. "Maybe you're here to help ease our existence a little. To save us."

Clark smiled. "Starting with you." He felt his stomach twist in that way, desire flaring through him. Starting, beginning and ending with you. Always you…"

Lex kissed him again, this time full of passion for the future, for having one and sharing it with someone who had literally fallen from the stars and into his life.

Clark pushed him down on the bed, his mouth going to taste a nipple that was simply proving too enticing. "Always you," he mouthed around it as he bit and Lex arched underneath him. "Always, always, always."

He kissed and licked his way down to the waistband of the slacks Lex still had on, before tsking slightly and reaching out behind himself, pulling off the shoes he still wore, the trousers next on his list of things to do to get Lex naked.

"My turn space boy."

Clark found he could laugh at that, Lex flipping them over until he was on top of Clark. "You sure you want this? Want to…"

"Fuck me already Lex. I've been asking you to do me this one little favour since we first got together. And have you? No."

Lex leaned down, biting Clark on the ear before he whispered. "I'm gonna fuck you into next week."

Clark laughed, before gasping as Lex took hold of his cock and slowly stroked his hand up and down it's length. "Time travel. I've…Oh Jesus…I've never done that…be...before."

A thumb swiped over the head, Clark watching in fascination as Lex sucked it into his mouth. "You're gonna do it now space boy."

This moment had been prepared for, and Lex, reaching over to the bedside table, pulled open a drawer, taking out a tube of something or other that Clark guessed was some sort of lubricant and a strip of condoms. "You don't need those." Intense dark hungry eyes. Hungry for him and Lex was lost. "You can't hurt me that way."

Lex happily tossed the condoms to one side. He could understand Clark wanting to feel all of him, but he hadn't wanted to ask it of him. It was something Clark had to decide for himself. "I had a medical review not so long ago. Clean bill of health." He smiled. "I don't get sick either Clark."

Clark was pinned very nicely underneath Lex, but he moved off him, causing Clark to whimper at the loss of contact.

Lex simply ran his hand up and down the length of Clark's thigh, trailing his fingernails over the sensitive flesh before slipping his hand between Clark's thighs and running his finger's past his balls and to that little patch of sensitive skin that cause Clark to jerk a little.

Lex reached up past Clark's head, grabbing a couple of big pillows. "Turn over Clark, on to your stomach and lie on these."

Lex stroked himself as Clark got into position, the ache inside him crying out to be satisfied. He ran his hand over Clark's backside, causing him to hump the pillows he was lying on. "Lex?" Breathless, gasping and begging. God, Lex never wanted anything so much in his life before, hardly believing he was about to have what he'd wanted for so long now.

"Sshh, soon Clark, soon." More petting, caressing, skin smooth and soft and strong underneath his hand.

He picked up the lube lying beside them and squeezed some into his hand, warming it up a little as he ran his fingers through it, coating both hands, slicking up his cock in anticipation. Once he felt happy, he reached out, teasing Clark by running his finger over that small hole before he slipped it easily inside.

A sharp intake of breath, Lex understanding the new sensations that must have been running through Clark's body, wanting nothing more than to add to them, intensify them beyond measure. To be the cause of them.

"Mmmph. Harder Lex. More."

He pushed another finger inside, all normal thought processes gone as he heard Clark gasp in front of him and actually push back against his hand, Lex suddenly having his fingers buried up to the knuckle in Clark's ass. He leaned down, biting at one of the cheeks. "So fucking hot…"

He crooked his finger and found his target, Clark letting out a cry as Lex hit his prostate.

"More Lex. Please, please, I want you. Need you. Please!?!"

Clark begging him, really begging him to be fucked was more of a turn on than Lex would have thought possible. He was dying to take this boy, to know him in that way, like he knew him now in every other. Intimate…connected by fate and love and passion and life and death and he wanted it all, to feel it all when he came, knowing that this body underneath him was perhaps the one person on the planet that could do that for him. Lex pulled out, a sharp cry at the loss of connection, not knowing if it had been him or Clark that had cried out at the loss, not caring that it had been both of them. Only that this…separation wasn't going to last much longer. Taking his cock in hand, Lex placed the head against that puckered opening and pushed his way in.

"Fuck…" He gasped, "So tight."

"Harder Lex. Fuck me already."

Lex needed no further urging; he pushed until he was completely in before pulling back quickly and pushing in hard.

The moans coming from the body under him convinced him that Clark meant it when he said he was ready, and with no further delay, he began thrusting in and out, Clark underneath him pushing back against him, sounds coming from him that were almost words but completely understandable somehow. That connection he'd felt earlier seemingly strengthening with every push, with every cry of Clark's name.

So fucking tight and he knew this wasn't going to last long. He wanted to reach round and touch Clark, but he was burying himself deep into he pillows and oh God…

Suddenly he felt himself coming, Clark he thought crying out his name at the same time he yelled his, his orgasm tearing it's way through him with more intensity than he could remember experiencing before.

He fell against Clark, panting, his mind a pleasant fog, nothing else mattering other than the sudden notion to taste the sweat on Clark's back.

He found the energy somewhere to run his hand up the length of Clark's side, Clark twitching slightly underneath him as he just licked the closest part of Clark's body with his tongue.

Sometime later he managed to find the energy to speak. "You ok under there?"

Clark mumbled something into his arm.

Lex slipped out of him, earning him a little whimper from Clark. He felt it too, gone but still…connected somehow.

Tugging at the blanket that Clark was lying on, he finally got it out form under him amid happy, satisfied muffled laughter.

He crawled up past Clark, throwing the blanket around the pair of them, Clark finally moving a little to move the pillows he still lay on. He looked apologetically at Lex. "Sorry, they're' kinda covered."

"Sticky huh?"

Blushing. Clark was blushing. God, he really did love this boy. He leaned over and kissed him softly on the cheek, wanting to feel a little of that heat. "Yeah."

Clark took the one that was still clean and put it under his head, Lex moving into Clark's arms, settling his head on his chest. "We can sleep like this. Do you mind?"

Lex turned, looking up at Clark. Realisation settling deep inside him, somewhere were he'd never be able to get at it and change how he felt; he really would do anything for this boy.

Clark had somehow managed to borrow his way past his usual defences, finding a way into his heart, a place he'd only opened to another soul since his mother had died and look how that had turned out. Yet he knew, as he looked into Clark's eyes that trust wasn't an issue here. Clark he could trust completely with anything he gave him, and Lex had given him his heart. Something he'd been pretty sure he'd lost a long time ago.

"I don't mind at all." He brought his hand up to Clark's chest, lazily drawing circles over the lean muscles under his hand. He watched as the rise and fall of his chest slowed down a little from their lovemaking. He could feel himself relaxing more in Clark's arms than he could ever remember before. He felt a desire to tell him how he felt; the words fighting their way up past his usual defences to claim what he already knew belonged to him. "I love you Clark."

He waited for a response, but with none forthcoming, he turned to look again, the frown on his face turning back into a smile as he realised why Clark was silent.

He was asleep.

The End