Hush, Little Baby
By Linda C.
dragokatzof10@aol.com
11/21/03
Fandom: Smallville
Rating: Strong R for language
Warnings: abuse in asylum
Spoilers: Shattered
Pairing: Lex/Lionel
Disclaimer: Don't own them at all.
Archive: yes. WWOMB and any others who want it.
Summary: Who will pick up the shattered pieces?
Hush, Little Baby
By Linda C.
******
Hush, little baby, don't say a word,
Mama's gonna to buy you a mockin' bird.
If that mockin' bird don't sing,
Mama's gonna to buy you a diamond ring.
Lex rocked back and forth, singing to himself. His mama's favorite song she used to sing him to sleep with. Julian too, remembering the beautiful voice in the nursery late at night. He used to crawl under the crib and listen, his mother knowing he was there. Such a lovely voice. Now if only he could remember the rest of the song. Why did he need the song? Why?
If that diamond ring turns to brass,
Mama's gonna buy you a billy goat.
If that billy goat don't pull,
Mama's gonna buy you a cart and mule.
God, he hurt. His head ached, his skin torn, the thin scar tissue giving no protection when he dived through the window to escape the gunman. And his leg, the pain shooting through it. And where were his shoes? Didn't they know he never went without his shoes? His feet were bare and cold.
Hush, little baby, don't say a word,
Mama's gonna buy you a mockin' bird.
What the hell was the rest of the song? Why couldn't he remember? Sliding down the wall, he banged his head, trying to knock his memory loose. Why were the walls padded? This wasn't his room, was it? And why couldn't he move his arms?
Crying, he lay curled up, aching and sore, thoughts swirling through his head, the words of the song haunting him. His shoulders pulled and he wanted to move his arms. His fingers were numb and why did he have on a straightjacket? Was Jude there? But he was dead, Amanda had killed him. And Clark had saved him at the old Club Zero after the lookalike had kidnapped him and hung him from a hook like a slab of beef. He could remember that, why not the stupid fucking song?
If that mockin' bird don't sing,
Mama's gonna buy you a diamond ring.
Clark could help him...he always saved him. He had helped him at the farm, hiding him, bringing him food and water, turning his back on his parents,
walking away with his hand on Lex's shoulder. God, where was Clark? He wanted Clark....he loved Clark...his savior, his best friend. Maybe he could help him with the song. And where were his shoes? His feet were cold.
"Clark!" he screamed, pain ripping through his head as he slammed it into the floor. "Clark!"
*******
Dr. Fisher shook her head, watching the young man through the one way mirrored wall. He had shown such potential in his sessions, revealing his fears of betrayal by his father, the possible involvement of Lionel and an accomplice in the murder of Lex's grandparents. His failed marriages, the love he had for his best friend that he had to hide away, deep inside his heart. She had meet Clark the day before, so careful of his friend, protecting him, watching over him. Believing Lex when no one else did. Perhaps he had been attacked, but the evidence just wasn't there, cleaned up and hidden away. And besides the fact that Lionel was paying her to spy on his son, she knew that surely a father wouldn't want to kill the son he had just had returned to him. Or would he, if Lex was getting too close to the truth? He wanted Lex sedated, his short-term memory shocked out of him, and she was afraid enough of his power that she obeyed. But she at least could relieve some of the boy's suffering. He needed treatment for his wounds. She left after one last look, her eyes sad.
******
And if that diamond ring turns brass,
Mama's gonna buy you a billy goat.
Where was Clark? Why wasn't he here to save him? Oh, that's right, he ran away, left him to be captured and brought here. But he was hurt, blood streaming from his nose and mouth, Morgan had beaten him. So weak, those bright green beads glowing all around him. He had shot Edge, he was killing Clark. He had to kill him. Two people now that he had killed for Clark. He would do anything for him. He loved him. But he lied to Lex, all the time. Shit, he wasn't even human. Look how he had stopped Edge's car, smashing it into pieces and shoving it away from him. From Lex, protecting him from the car, saving him. Clark wasn't human…and Lex didn't care. Where were his shoes? His feet were cold.
If that billy goat don't pull,
Mama's gonna buy you a cart and mule.
The words, why did he need the words? He missed Julian, he didn't mean to pull the blanket over him. He looked cold....he needed his blanket, didn't he? And was that man in the room talking to Daddy? And why didn't Julian move when Lex covered him? He missed Julian. Where was Clark?
"Clark!" He wanted Clark, he had to save him. Oh God, here they came with the needles. He hated needles. He hated shots. And why couldn't he move his arms?
******
"Mom, I have to try and get in to see Lex. I know he's sick, but they were drugging him. Darius admitted it, the drug was in his scotch. And Lex drinks at least four every night. Who knows how long he's had that in his system? What if it's been since he got back? Or since he found out that Lionel might have been involved in killing his own parents to split the insurance money? I have to help him."
Martha shook her head, Jonathan grimacing as Clark spoke. "No way are you going to see him. They probably wouldn't even let you in. You're not family and Lionel sure doesn't want you there after you helped Lex get away. He's pissed at you, you know that after his visit. All he wanted was to get help for Lex, and you helped him escape."
Clark wanted to pound on the table, but held back. Ever since Metropolis, his temper was short, his control over it eroding. It had felt good to pin Darius down to the floor, bending his arm almost to the breaking point. He wanted to snap it, to hurt him, like Lex was hurting. And if he found out Lionel had tried to kill him, or even poison him, he would break that son of a bitch...in half, and show Lex the pieces.
"Right, I'm nothing to Lex. Why can't you two realize that he's everything to me? He accepts me, he helps me out, he even paid back part of the money that I had stolen and spent when I was in Metropolis. No questions, no prying into what happened when I was there. He's the one person that I feel comfortable being around, talking to, playing pool with, or just being together watching a movie...he is the other half of me and I can't let him go, not without a fight. And if you can't accept that, I'm sorry. I would do anything for him, anything. Like he's done for me."
He ran out, speed kicking in. He knew where Lex was being held and he would get in somehow. He had to, his friend needed him. And he wouldn't let him down again...even if it meant telling his secret.
******
"Young man, you can't come in here. Mr. Luthor has left strict orders that you are to stay away from his son." The nurse pushed Clark's chest, unable to move him. Somehow he had gotten through the locked front gates and made it into the hallway of the ward where Lex was being kept.
"What's going on here? Ah, Mr. Kent. Let him go Shelly, I can handle it from here. Go on, make your rounds." Dr. Fisher watched as she moved away. "Come on, let's get you to Lex. Lionel will kill me if he finds out, but he needs you. He keeps calling for you, even the meds not stopping him. He wants you to help him with a nursery song he keeps singing. Do you know the one?"
Clark nodded, remembering Lex holding the rolled up blanket in the barn, singing to his 'brother', Julian. "The Mockin' Bird song." He could still hear Lex's voice, soft and low, soothing the 'baby' in his arms. Chloe had dug up some info that the same thing had happened at prep school, Lex breaking down, being found up in the bell tower holding a blanket and singing.
"It was his brother's favorite nursery song, he told me once. His mother used to sing it to them both when they were babies. When Lex was hurt in the meteor shower, the only way he could fall asleep was if his mother sung that to him. It's probably what's holding him together."
Entering the corridor, they passed through a locked door, moving toward the padded room. Clark dropped to the floor, hands coming up to press on the glass. Lex was on his knees, eyes closed, swaying back and forth, head hitting against the mirrored wall. Tears streaked his face. "Clark, where are you? Why won't you save me?"
"He does that all day. He sings the song, the few lines he can remember, and then calls for you. Then he sits and rocks, crying, trying to recall the rest of the words. It seems to keep the little bit of sanity he has from getting away from him." She turned on the speaker to the room. "Talk to him."
Clark stood, tears streaming down his face. His Lex was so fragile, so hurt and small, like a little boy again. "Lex, it's Clark, I'm here. Open your eyes. I'm on the other side of the mirror. I can see you but you can't see out. Tell me how I can help you."
Lex gasped, sitting back on his haunches. He still wore the straightjacket, his rages making him dangerous to the nurses, as well as himself.
"Clark?" Oh, God, Clark was here to save him. "Clark, help me. I'm not crazy, I shouldn't be here. My father wants me to forget. I need to remember the song, Clark, I need the song. Help me, please." His voice trailed off, sobs breaking through, wanting nothing more than Clark's arms around him.
"Start with me Lex, and I'll sing it with you. You can remember, I know you can. Pretend it's your mother singing to you, and she needs to hear you sing it with her. Come on, sweetie, sing with your mother."
Hush, little baby, don't say a word,
Mama's gonna buy you a mockin' bird.
And if that mockin' bird don't sing,
Mama's gonna buy you a diamond ring.
And if that diamond ring turns brass,
Mama's gonna buy you a billy goat.
Lex stopped. His head hurt. But he could still hear Clark singing...and his mother.
If that billy goat don't pull,
Mama's gonna buy you a cart and mule.
If that cart and mule turn over,
Mama's gonna buy you a horse and cart.
Both voices rang out, Lex knowing the last line would break the barriers in his mind. He remembered why he needed the song.
If that horse and cart fall down,
Then you'll be the sweetest little baby in town.
Lex straightened, eyes clear, mind also. He looked out the glass, knowing Clark was on the other side. His friend, who never gave up on him, who turned his back on his family, and stood up to Lionel, brave and fierce. The man he loved above all others.
"I'm back Clark. I needed the song to break the hold on me. I had Toby put me under a long time ago and that's my trigger. If I ever feel that I need to retreat into myself, I just sing the first four lines and I go into a trance. I can still function, talk, eat, do business, but my mind is protected until I can sing the rest of the song. When that man attacked me, I knew something was wrong. He was moving through the walls, coming at me from all directions. It wasn't possible, I had to be hallucinating. Then I said the words, and I went blank. Somewhere in my mind, I was aware of what was happening. That was when I had my lucid periods, but then the drugs took over and the rages came, the delusions. Dr. Fisher, I assume you're out there? I can pay you better than my father....let me out...now!"
Clark turned to the doctor, seeing the awareness on her face. "He's right. He was being drugged and he was attacked. His father knew he was getting too close to the truth and he was protecting him from Edge. But he truly thought he could hide him out here. He was no danger to anyone here, Edge or his men. Please don't blame your father, Lex, he loves you and was protecting you the best way he could. I'll let you out but he can't know I did it."
She motioned Clark to follow her, leading him around the corner into a short hallway, unlocking the door to the padded room. Clark ran in, taking Lex in his arms, pressing a soft kiss on the bruised mouth. "I love you, Lex. I couldn't give up on you." He ripped the jacket off, massaging the stiff arms, then picked Lex up and carried him out of the room.
"Just tell Lionel that he's gone, you don't know how. And tell him that he's not crazy. Just smart enough to know when to hide. I'm taking him somewhere safe for tonight. I can watch him, keep him safe. Thank you, Dr. Fisher."
"Clark, where are my shoes? I'm so cold, I need my shoes." Lex laughed as Clark carried him out, knowing he was safe in the arms of the man that loved him. His to love forever.
******
Clark sat and watched as Lex ate. They were at a hotel at least fifty miles away, Clark tucking Lex in close to his chest and running at half speed. What was the use of hiding now? Lex had seen him smash Edge's car, and push it like a Tinkertoy. He had told him all his secrets, holding him close on the bed, brushing soft kisses on his bruised forehead. And he had taught him a new song, one only he and Lex would know.
How many miles to Babylon?
Three score and ten.
Can I get there by candlelight?
Aye and back again.
If your feet are nimble and light,
You'll get there by candlelight.
They could go home tomorrow, making it by candlelight. Then they would have a little chat with Lionel. Clark had taken something from the hospital. Let's see how Daddy liked his new jacket.
End