Title: St. Patrick's Day Challenge Fic - "Oh Clarky Boy"

Author: PMD

e-mail: mary.davidson@sympatico.ca

Rating: PG

Category: Friendship, Chlex, Clana, Slight Humor, Chloe's POV, Futurefic, AU, St. Patrick's Day Challenge Fic

Spoilers: One slight one from Season 2.

Summary: Lex really is getting tired of a certain song.

Disclaimer: To whomever owns Smallville and it's characters, I'm just borrowing, will give them back, not making any money with their use in this story, so don't sue me. As to the song title "Danny boy", a lyric from the song "You've Lost This Loving Feeling", the title of the movie, "Finian's Rainbow", and St. Patrick's Day, to whomever owns them. I'm just borrowing, will give them back, not making any money with their use in this story, so don't sue me.

Archive: TBT, BtS, SPP, A_Talon_Affair, As The Talon Turns, Intrepid, Wwomb, Verbal Judo, Malu's site, and my page on Wendy's site. If anybody else wants it, all they have to do is ask.

Feedback: Yes I would love feedback.

Author Notes: This is in answer to Kris' (Scifichick774's) challenge of a St. Patrick's Day piece. You will find the challenge elements at the end, in another Author's Notes but I just had to say, thank you to Kris for sending these to me, even though I tweaked one. Had to----for this piece to work. And guys, don't get me wrong---I love Danny Boy but really---they overplay it at times on St. Patrick's Day. I want to dedicate this to Kris, first and foremost. To all the Irish out there on the lists. And to David for checking this puppy over. And, Clark's secret is out, once again. Enjoy, everybody.

by PMD

"Okay, Clark and Lana are late---again. Boy, Mr. Reynolds was right---the man is always tardy."

Lex turns to me and smirks. "You should talk."

"What?" I ask, innocently. "We're on time, Lex. They're late."

"We're on time only because I scared you out of the bathroom by yelling 'fire'."

"Oh---and I thought you wanted me out of there because you were desperate to see my smiling face," I state.

"Maybe," he says, smiling at me. He gives me a peck on the cheek.

"You've lost that loving feeling," I say, after that less than enthusiastic display of love.

"Never! Oh God, not again. I love the song, don't get me wrong, but why do people have to play *Danny Boy* over and over again today?"

"Because it's St. Patrick's Day?" I ask.

"Yeah but there's other songs out there too. How about the whole soundtrack to *Finian's Rainbow*?"

"But I love *Danny Boy*," I reply, fingering the shamrock pin he gave me for St. Patrick's Day."

"Yes, dear," he states, giving me a pat on the hand, still on the table.

"Lex, if you want to leave Sullivan's, I'll understand. But let's wait till Clark and Lana get here."

"All right. I must really love you, to be listening to this song, for the 20th time today."

"You're exaggerating."

"Not by much, I bet!" We look up and see Clark and Lana, standing there.

"Well--you finally arrived, Kent!" I state, getting up and giving him a hug. "Nice leather jacket, Clark? How many cows did they have to kill to create that long one? And why aren't you wearing green? You know what happens when you don't wear green?"

"What?"

"Ouch!" He turns around to see a woman, rubbing her arm. "Why'd you pinch me?"

The man beside her says, "You're not wearing green. You know the rules."

"Yeah, yeah---just couldn't you have done it with less enthusiasm."

"What and miss up on a chance of doing it to you, when I can get away with it?" the man says, smiling at her. She smiles back and gives him a slap on the arm.

"Oh," Clark says, as he turns around. "You can't pinch me, Chloe. I'm----"

"I know, Clark. Don't advertise it, okay?"

"Okay," he says.

"Hey guys, I am wearing green---so no pinching me."

"Lana," I say, hugging her too.

"Hey, Chloe---I miss you coming to the Talon and making up the quota of coffee sales for the month."

"I'll be back soon---I got an offer to write my novel. So, Lex and I'll be moving back, right, sweetie?" I ask, sitting down.

"That's right, honey bun!"

"Okay, this is getting too weird. Sweetie? Honey bun? What happened to the two most sarcastic people I knew in my life?" Lana asks, as she sits down with Clark.

"We met, we conquered, we loved, and we got married!" we both say together.

"Ah---so, that's what I have to expect from Clark---when we get married!" she states.

"What? What did you just say?" we both ask.

She puts her left hand out. "Look! He gave me the ring at lunch----put it in my green jello!"

Auuugh---green jello---that brings back bad memories. I shiver at that thought.

"Chloe, what's wrong?" she asks, concerned.

"Sorry, Lana. I guess I was just having a bad flashback when you mentioned---"

"---green jello," Clark says, with a smile.

"Oh, don't you dare tell them that story, Kent!"

"What story?" they both ask.

We both sigh. "Chloe, are you sure?" he asks, sensing I'm acquiescing.

"Oh, go ahead and tell them. Lex loves me enough to accept my faults, along with the loopy and really stupid stories of things that have happened to me. And I think Lana can forgive my faults enough to hear this silly story."

"Tell us!" they both state.

"Okay---well it goes like this. It was St. Patrick's Day and I went to visit Chloe in the hospital. She'd just gotten out of surgery and was a little---peaked is the word. Well the nurse came in with some green jello. Told her that she should eat some of it to get her strength back."

"Geez, I remember thinking that I wanted ice cream, since it was my tonsils that had been taken out. But nooooo---I had to have green jello---not very soothing to the palate."

"Can I continue?" Clark asks, a little miffed.

"Continue, Kent," I state, smirking at him.

He gives me a smirk and continues. "Well, she tried but after two bits---it all came back up---and on the nurses white shoes."

They both look at me. Lana giggles and Lex starts to chuckle. "Really?" they both say, finally getting their voices back.

"Yes---I threw up, okay. And that is why to this day, I don't go near green jello."

We sit there for a few minutes, all of us trying to calm down---me in particular.

"Would you like to order now?" We look up at the waitress.

"Yes, we would," Lex answers.

"Okay---oh and in honor of today, with every meal, there is free desert."

"Oh, please, don't tell me---green jello?" I ask.

"Why yes, how did you---where are you going?" she asks, mystified.

"I'm sorry, but I forgot I left the curling iron on at home. Come on, guys."

They get up, with Lex leaving the money for the drinks we had ordered and a huge tip too. We leave the bar and I turn to them.

"I'm sorry but I just couldn't handle eating there, and knowing there was---"

"---green jello at the end of the line. I understand, sweetheart," Lex answers, giving me a kiss on the lips.

"So, want to try someplace else?" Clark asks.

"Yes---any place but a pub, please," Lex answers.

"Why?" Clark asks his best friend.

"I would rather not hear *Danny Boy* anymore, today."

"I totally understand since I'm not to fond of that song either," he answers.

"Heard it to many times too?"

"No---just keep hearing that same old chestnut of turning the words of the song around. Rather than *Danny Boy*, I've been getting Clarky Boy all day at the Ledger."

We all start to chuckle at this realization, as we walk down the street to find a nice restaurant, preferably with no green jello, and, as much as we love the song the other days of the year, *Danny Boy*.

The End.