Title: "Ryan's Gift"

Author: PMD

e-mail: mary.davidson@sympatico.ca

Rating: PG

Category: Chlex, Clana, Angst, Chloe's POV, AU

Spoilers: Ryan

Summary: A conversation in a limo, on the way to a funeral.

Disclaimer: To whomever owns Smallville and the characters, I'm just borrowing, will give them back, not making any money with their use in this story, so don't sue me. As to the lyrics to Goodbye My Friend found within the story, to whomever owns them, I'm just borrowing, will give them back, not making any money with their use in this story, so don't sue me.

Archive: At SFF, TBT, SPP, Wwomb, Interpid and my page on Wendy's site. Anybody else wants it, all they have to do is ask.

Feedback: Yes I would love feedback.

Author Notes: Last night's episode really had me crying. And my muse in her infinite wisdom, helped me put my feelings into words about how Ryan touched the other's and left them a part of himself. I want to thank David for checking this puppy over. Now---don't forget the Kleenex---you will need it at the end with the lyrics in this story. Trust me on this one.

"Ryan's Gift"
By PMD

It's cold and rainy, the day of the funeral. I'm in the second limo with Lex, Clark, Pete, and Lana. I look at them all, wondering how they were all a touch sadder and yet brighter because of Ryan's gift to us all.

The first limo holds his aunt and the Kents. I can't believe that she rejected him---Clark told us it was because he was different---because of his gift. And when he started to get the headaches, she sent him to the doctor who used him for his own research. I'm a good Catholic and we're told to turn the other cheek but sometimes it's hard to see the good in people---to understand why they do what they do. But I'm doing my best to forgive her and forget what she did.

The Kents are in the limo right now, being the comfort they always are to us all. Mrs. Kent is probably holding her while she cries. And Mr. Kent is telling her about all his adventures with Clark and how happy he was the last few days---and about the balloon ride in the sky.

"Hey, are you okay, Chloe?"

I feel an arm around me and turn to look at a concerned Lex. Was it only weeks ago when I took a chance with him---to finally tell him how I felt? And I was surprised he felt the same way. It seems like years. And even though I feel that my love for him has changed him drastically---Ryan's gift to him was to change him more.

He told me that Ryan and he had talked about the Warrior Angel---about his favorite and most rare possession where the Angel and his best friend turn against each other. They talked about evil and how you can't just turn a switch and be that way, it's a long and lonely journey to that point. And how Ryan said that he should remember these words and not turn bad. He said he never would and thanked him for even caring that he might. That was Ryan's gift to him---caring what might happen to him.

I was standing outside of the room and watched the two hug. Then I walked in, all light and airy and Ryan smiled. 'What?' I asked. 'I don't think Lex will turn evil now. Not with you to kick his butt.'

'You told him?' I asked Lex. He just shook his head and looked back at Ryan. 'No, I didn't have time. How did you know?' He looked worried for a second and then said, 'It's in your eyes---you can't hide the love you have for each other. Hold onto that and it'll save you from going to the dark side.'

Lex got up and took my hand. Then he looked back at Ryan and said, 'I won't, Ryan.' Then he gave me a kiss on the cheek and leaned over to give him another quick hug and walked out to give me time with him.

A few minutes later, I walked out of the room, crying. He was there, his strong arms surrounding me and never letting go until I had drenched his shirt. 'We have to be strong for the others,' he said.

And I nodded and said, 'I love you, Lex.'

'I love you too,' he replied, as we walk out of the hospital---the last time we saw Ryan alive.

"Chloe?"

"I'm not okay but I will be."

He smiles at my honesty and pulls me close. "How are you guys doing?"

"Not so well, Lex," Lana answers, her eyes red from fallen tears.

"You know, I was thinking about the gifts that Ryan gave to us all," I say.

"What gifts?" Clark asks.

"Well, I only got as far as Lex," I answer.

"What did he give me, Chloe?" he asks.

"The gift of caring about what might happen to you, Lex."

"That's true," he says, giving me a kiss on the cheek. "What about the others?"

"Lets see---to the Kents, he gave them the chance to have another son for a while. That's a very precious gift."

"To Lana, he gave her the gift of being an object to admire from afar. Before I left him that day in the hospital, he said he admired your mind---that you have a mind like a steel trap and that you loved somebody in this car. And that you shouldn't let another minute pass without telling that person."

"He's right. Clark?"

"What?"

She sidles over a bit more and kisses him on the cheek. I smile. "What---this is very public. I'll kiss him better when we're away from prying eyes."

"Oh just tell him you love him and put him out of his misery, Lana," I state.

"Okay---Clark, I love you."

"Wow, now that's romantic."

"You told me to tell him. I told him, okay."

"Okay!"

"Well now that that's settled, shall we get on with what Ryan gave the others," Lex states.

"All right, where was I? Okay, Pete is next---Pete what Ryan gave you is a shining example of friendship. Not that your friendship isn't great with Clark but now you know how far Clark will go to save his friends---even break the law."

"That's true. And I promise to carry on his and Lex's legacy," he says, smiling at Lex and me.

"I'm not dead yet, Ross," Lex smirks.

"Okay, his legacy and help Lex with his job of saving Clark. Because he needs a lot of saving."

"What about me---am I chopped liver or what?" I ask, with a slight smirk.

"With the help of Chloe and Lana. Satisfied?" Pete asks.

"Yes. You men would be lost without us, wouldn't they, Lana?"

"Yes they would."

"Okay, now, Clark. Clark is the easiest---his gift to Clark was to have a little brother for a brief, beautiful moment. And to teach him that, as much as you would like too, you can't save everybody. I'm so sorry, Clark. I wished that we all could have helped you save him," I say, tearing up again.

"I know you do, Chloe. But I guess I have to face the facts, I won't be able to save everybody I run into in my life. But I'll always save you guys---or at least try too."

"So, we know of everybody but you, Chloe. What gift did he give you?" Lex asks.

"He gave me the gift of love. He told me that I was worthy of love---somehow he must have read my mind. I kept thinking back to my mother, wondering if she had some incurable disease and that's why she left Dad and me. He told me if that was true than maybe she just wanted to spare me the pain. Or maybe she was just incredibly stupid to leave me. Because he said I had the most inquisitive mind around. And that I would go far, but only if I had the love of a good man by my side and the support of my friends. His gift to me was to hold onto love and never let go. And I never will," I answer, letting out a quiet sob and leaning into Lex again.

The silence is broken by the quiet sobbing of Lana and me.

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The funeral was short and sweet, with Clark giving the eulogy. Then we all place a single comic of the Warrior Angel on the top of the coffin and watch as the dirt was shoveled onto it, covering the body on our young friend.

As that's happening, I walk forward and start to sing Goodbye My Friend:

"Oh we never know where life will take us
I know it's just a ride on the wheel
And we never know when death will shake us
And we wonder how it will feel

So goodbye my friend,
I know I'll never see you again
But the time together through all the years
Will take away these tears
It's okay now
Goodbye my friend.

I see a lot of things that make me crazy
And I guess I have until you
You could have run away and left well maybe
But it wasn't time we both knew

So goodbye my friend
I know I'll never see you again
But the love you gave me through all the years
Will take away these tears
I'm okay now
Goodbye my friend

Life's so fragile and love so pure
We can't hold on but we try
We watch how quickly it disappears
And we never know why

But I'm okay now.
Goodbye my friend
You can go now
Goodbye my friend"

As the song ends, I notice that Lex is by my side, probably through the whole thing. I also notice that the others are drifting away until only we five are left.

"Goodbye, Ryan. Wherever you are right now, I know you're smiling down on us and wishing us the best of luck. Ryan---our own guardian spirit and giver of gifts," Lex says.

We turn away from the gravesite and make our way to the limo, missing our friend forever but knowing that a part of him lives in all of us--through Ryan's gifts to us all.

The End.