Title: For Awhile

Author: Ruby

Author Email: rubysslash@prodigy.net

Author Webpage:

Category: Angst

Spoilers For:

Rating: NC-17

Pairing: Lex/m

Summary: Lex goes clubbing to forget.

Walking into the club Lex actually staggered back from the shock of the music. It was more than loud, it was alive. It was a pulsing, heady beat that made his heart race and his cock throb.

Looking over the mass of writhing bodies on the dance floor he rolled his shoulders and shook off the last bit of Smallville that had clung to him. The drive to Metropolis hadn't quite gotten rid of the claustrophobic feeling the little town seemed to induce but this would. This is just what he needed right now. The anonymity and freedom of a place where anything goes and nobody cares who you are. You could be anybody here, do anything. It didn't matter what your kink was or what you wanted cuz chances were somebody else wanted it too, probably even needed it.

Sliding up to the bar Lex threw down a couple bills and ordered a scotch, slammed it back with the ease of long practice and headed onto the dance floor with a purpose. If he hadn't known what to expect the sheer volume and variety of people would have been overwhelming. But he did know what to expect, knew places like this with an intimacy that should have bothered him.

He moved with the music, danced his way through the crowd in search of something... someone. He needed someone to help him forget or maybe pretend, he hadn't quite decided. He danced with anybody that approached him and there were a lot. All of them so different and wonderful it made his head spin. There were girls in tight skirts and stiletto heels, boys in tight skirts and platforms, women in formal wear, men in business wear, and a sea of leather and skin that made the bulge in his own leather pants ache.

So many people to pick from and experience told him that he could have any of them. He would use his name or money if he had to but it rarely came to that. He discovered a long time ago that people were drawn to him, wanted him even as they hated him. He didn't care about the hate. He was used to it, took advantage of it, reveled in it. Delighted in the fact that he could get such strong reactions out of people. He could get them to do anything because people would do anything out of hate, even more then they'd do out of love.

He felt hands grip his hips from behind and a large body mold itself to his back and he had to bite back a moan. Felt hardness press into his ass and couldn't stop himself from leaning into it. The man tightened his grip almost painfully and Lex didn't even try to fight the loud groan that came out. It felt so good he could barely think. He hadn't realized how much he missed this, hard instead of soft, strong instead of frail. There would be nothing gentle about this. It would be raw, primal, and as necessary as breathing.

Turning around to see what the man looked like Lex sighed in relief, it seemed tonight he would be trying to forget. The man was handsome, tall and broad shouldered but with blond hair and brown eyes that were nowhere near innocent. That was good cuz he wasn't nearly drunk enough or high enough and it would hurt too much to try and pretend when he was this clearheaded.

Reaching up Lex cupped the back of the man's head and pulled him in for a brutal kiss, dragged a hand down over his new toy's throat and chest then pushed him away to get a better look at the rest of him. He would do, blue silk shirt tucked into tight black jeans that displayed an impressive package. Looking back up to the man's face he smirked at the way he was being appraised. The guy was practically drooling.

Lex didn't blame him, he knew what he looked like. He wasn't dressed in boardroom Armani or Luthor untouchable. He had on soft black leather pants from his club Zero days and a black mesh shirt that made his pale hairless skin look exotic instead of freakish. He let the guy look his fill, he didn't mind. It was another thing Lex was used to... being on display. Took it in stride and like everything else, he used it, twisted it to get what he wanted. Decided right then and there that he wanted to be fucked, hard... now.

Fisted the guy's shirt and tugged. "Come on," Lex ordered over the music.

Lead the man off the dance floor, past the bar, and up the stairs. He was headed for one of the private rooms with a balcony that overlooked the rest of the club when one of the bouncers stopped him.

"Sorry dude, members only," he told Lex blocking his way into the room.

Lex stepped forward and pulled a wad of cash out of nowhere. "This ought to cover the membership, don't you think?" he asked offering the money to the bouncer and nearly laughed when the man recognized him. The poor guy paled dramatically and almost bowed.

"Mister Luthor," he stuttered ignoring the money and stepping out of the way. "You're welcome anywhere in the club. Is there anything I can get you?"

Lex waved him away. "I'm fine," he said brushing past and walking into the room.

It was dimly lit but Lex could easily make out the half dozen or so people that occupied it. They were all men, some on their knees, some on their backs, all of them naked. He turned in a circle, spotted the balcony and headed straight for it grateful when he found it empty. Leaning over the rail Lex was pleased with the view. He could see everybody in the club, see them but not hear them. Again grateful when the only thing assaulting his ears was the pounding of the music.

Turning around he found his entertainment for the night exactly like he knew he would be, directly behind him... hard and ready. Once again Lex reached into an invisible pocket and pulled out, not cash but a condom and lube. He pressed them into the man's hand and shook his head when the guy was going to say something.

"If I wanted conversation I'd have asked you out for coffee," Lex told him bluntly. "You know who I am so the only thing I want to hear is you screaming my name when you cum. Think you can handle that?"

At the man's stunned nod Lex turned around and braced himself on the railing offering himself as easily as he'd offered money to the bouncer. Not a second passed before the man was fumbling with the fastening of his leather pants pushing them off his hips, hands smoothing over his ass almost reverently.

Lex hissed as his cock was freed and moaned when it was taken in a firm grasp. He heard the man unzipping his own pants never faltering in his stroking and Lex thanked several gods that the man could multitask. Looking out at the people dancing, desperately trying to lose themselves in the music like Lex was trying to do with the stranger behind him, he jumped and tensed when a slick finger slipped into his ass.

It burned, reminding him that it'd been awhile since he'd done this. The man gentled his movements and Lex shook his head pushing himself back against the intruder wanting the pain, needing it to be rough not gentle, needing to forget. Needing this to be as far away from his fantasies as he could get. And leaning over a balcony getting roughly fucked by a stranger was a world away from a barn loft and an innocent boy.

The man got the hint and added a second finger without warning making Lex gasp and buck. It wasn't enough. He could still think and he didn't want to think. He just wanted to feel, needed to feel. Needed to hurt on the outside like he did on the inside.

"That's good enough," Lex growled barely recognizing his own voice. He shoved the man's hand away once again offering his ass.

Thank God he didn't argue, just gave Lex want he wanted, what he needed. Coated his dick with lube and entered him with one brutal thrust. Hurt so badly he cried out, knees almost buckling as the stranger pulled out and pushed back in before Lex could catch his breath.

"Fuck!" Lex yelled holding back a scream. Damn but it hurt. Hurt so much it took all his concentration and willpower to just stand there and take it. It went against everything in him to allow this. He was never the submissive type, wasn't a masochist, hated pain. But unfortunately pain was the only thing that could make him forget, at least for awhile.

He couldn't think of anything else but the simple act of staying still, of letting this stranger fuck him... hurt him. And that's exactly what he was doing. Pumping into him steadily and roughly, never giving Lex a chance to recover from one thrust to another. It was perfect, it was what he needed, and it felt like it would never end. Part of Lex wished that it wouldn't, another part wanted nothing more then to put a stop to it himself, right now.

Imagined straightening up, throwing his head back and hearing the satisfying crack of his skull connecting with the stranger's nose. Feeling the blood drip onto his back soaking through his shirt before he could turn around and pushthe fucker away.

Caught himself just before he actually did it. Gripped the railing harder and started meeting the man's thrusts. Heard him grunt and lose his rhythm, knew it would be over soon. Reached down and began to jerk himself roughly. Needed the shame of enjoying this like he needed the pain. Burning the memory of it into his mind so he could recall it at will. Remember it when he needed to hurt, needed to do anything but think.

Lex looked down at the crowd of people and spotted a man standing next to the bar. He was tall with dark unruly hair and classic Greek features. He was a little too old but from this distance Lex decided it didn't matter. Decided it was time to pretend instead of forget.

Stared at the man and pictured a boy, imagined that the smell of stale sweat was the smell of hay and when the man behind him stiffened and screamed his name the voice was familiar. It was the voice that told him not to die, that called Lex his best friend. It was enough. Lex came with a silent cry, his eyes never leaving the man at the bar, his heart never leaving Smallville.

The man pulled out and Lex winced, more from the pain or shame, he wasn't sure. Heard the stranger tuck himself in and Lex did the same. Straightening and rolling his shoulders he shook off the pain and shame like he'd done a certain hick town when he first entered the club. He wasn't some poor sap looking to forget or pretend anymore. No, he'd gotten his fix and hopefully it would last awhile.

Turning around he was once again in control, once again a Luthor. And just to prove it he pulled out the wad of bills he'd offered the bouncer. Held them up to show the stranger and laid them on the railing without saying a word. It was a bit cruel but he had to make sure the guy knew just who was getting fucked and just who was being used.

Saw when the guy understood. Saw the anger on his face when he looked at Lex and it made him smirk. Saw the shame when he picked up the money. The smirk turned into a grin. Only a Luthor could get fucked and still make the other guy feel like the whore.

Lex walked out of the room and out of the club without a backward glance. Got in his car and started to drive. Wound up heading for Smallville before he could even think of where he wanted to go. Just shrugged when he realized that Smallville *was* where he wanted to go.

The town had grown on him. Yeah it was kind of claustrophobic and more than a little painful but Lex could handle pain. He didn't like it but he could handle it. And if it got to be too much every now and then... well, he could always do something to forget or pretend. Either one seemed to work, for awhile anyway.

### The End ###