Title: "Verbal Judo, Smallville Style"

Author: PMD

e-mail: mary.davidson@sympatico.ca

Rating: PG

Category: Chlex, Humor, Friendship, Angst, X-Files mentions, dialogue, AU

Spoilers: Slight Spoilers from the X-Files

Summary: Why do they do verbal judo? This is my answer to that question.

Disclaimer: To whomever owns Smallville, the X-Files and the characters, I’m just borrowing, will give them back, not making any money with their use in this story, so don’t sue me.

Archive: At The_BaldTruth, SmallvilleFanfiction, and IWTB. If anybody else wants it, all they have to do is ask.

Feedback: Yes I would love feedback.

Author Notes: This is dedicated to Bran and my new BaldTruth buddies. And also to the two other lists that mean the world to me; Smallville Fanfiction and IWTB. Hope you like it everybody. Oh some history for other’s who have never watched the X-Files:

Mulder and Scully- an FBI agent who along with his female partner Scully, solves very strange and unusual cases.

Skinner- Their boss at the FBI and ally in all things. He’s bald by the way. : ) And my favorite character.

CGB Spender – the most evil man you can run into---and Mulder’s dad, it turns out.

Bill Scully – The man Mulder thought was his dad. He died early on in the show but every time he came on, he seemed to be indifferent or very callous to his son. More callous than indifferent though. And along the way, Mulder lost his sister and his mother.

That’s about it. Enjoy, guys.

"Verbal Judo, Smallville Style"

"Hey Sullivan."

"Hey Luthor; slumming today?"

"No, just missed your sparkling personality."

"Yeah right. Like you can’t get that from 10 dozen women you know."

"Actually---"

"Yes?"

"Actually, you’re the only person I have fun doing---"

"---verbal judo with."

"Yes."

"Ahhh---so that would make me Scully to your Mulder."

"Better than Skinner to your Scully."

"Well now that you mention it, you do a fair impression of Skinner at times---especially around---"

"---dear old dad. Hmmmm----that would make him CGB to my Skinner."

"Nope."

"Nope?"

"Nawww---try again, cue ball."

"I---oh, that’s right. Mulder’s real dad is CGB. Poor guy----he loses his---"

"Oh Lex, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to---"

"It’s okay."

"Yeah but with mentioning Mulder and him losing his mother and sister---"

"You’re right, I am more like Mulder than Skinner. I’ve lost family like him and---"

"That’s true but so has Skinner, probably. Well, he’s lost his wife and we never see his parents."

"Yes but did he have a father like mine. I guess that Bill Scully is more like my dad; he’s indifferent or callous to his boy----who’s not his boy. I wonder---do you suppose that my father isn’t my father?"

"Okay, lets run with that. So, who is your father?"

"I have no idea."

"Maybe an old friend of the family?"

"Sorry, can’t think of anybody. I guess my father is my father."

"Bummer."

"Tell me about it. You and Clark are so lucky to have father’s that are proud of you both."

"Lex---if you want---you can share my dad with me."

"No---that would be too---"

"---too what?"

"Nothing."

"Okay, maybe you can share Clarks dad with him."

"Nope---won’t work---he doesn’t like me."

"He doesn’t know you yet. Darn it, the man has blinders on when it comes to you. And it’s because of your father."

"Sins of the father---"

"No!"

"No?"

"You are better than that monster. You can be even better if you can see beyond his teachings and how much we---"

"----how much we what?"

"How much we care about you?"

"Who’s we?"

"Clark, Mrs. Kent---"

"Anybody else?"

"Gee, I don’t know. If you play your cards right, I might even care about you."

"What card----the joker?"

"No—I was thinking the ace of hearts."

"Are you flirting with me, Chloe?"

"I don’t know, am I?"

"I’m not sure but I think you are."

"Is it disgusting or pleasant to you?"

"Very---interesting to me."

"I’ll take that, cue ball."

"Chloe, don’t call me---"

"---all right, Mr. Skinman, I won’t call you cue ball."

"So now I’m Skinner again."

"Yep because I---"

"---because?"

"Because I love you as much as I love the character Skinner. Satisfied?"

"Yes I am."

No words are heard after that---for now they speak through the actions of a kiss and know the truth. The verbal judo was a defense mechanism to hide their true feelings for each other. But sometimes even the most well oiled machinery breaks down---this time for the good, not the bad. After all, they both finally found their soul mates. Like Scully and Mulder did.

The End.