Title: Jack O'Neill, Substitute King for a Day

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Jack O'Neil, Substitute King For a Day
By the blonde sheep
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"Why do I have to be the king?"

Jack's whines are starting to annoy me.

"Cos you're the oldest," I point out as calmly as possible.

"I'm not that much older," he protests. "Besides, anyone would look old compared to the rest of the cast."

I hide a laugh behind my hand as he turns to glare at me.

"Hey, it's not my fault." I protest at his narrowed eyes. "You were chosen."

"Lucky me." He drawls. "I feel so special."

I answer his quick smile with one of my own; he may not be enjoying this but I certainly am.

"I still can't see why someone else couldn't do it." He grumbles turning back to adjust his miniature crown in the mirror.

"Because they chose you," I repeat. "They like you."

"Hey what can I say?" He smiles, the reflection of his eyes sparkling with mischief. "What's not to like?"

I grin walking over to him, coming to stand behind him in the mirror.

"Can't argue with that," I chuckle, my arms slipping around his waist.

"Should hope not," he smiles, his hands covering mine. "Perhaps later ya could show me how much?"

"Yeahsureyabetcha," I quip, bumping my hips into his. "That's if you royals mix with us mere peasants."

I feel Jack's laugh vibrate against my chest as he turns to face me. My arms slip under his velvet purple robe as I tug him closer to me.

"I think I can make the exception," He winks before seconds later claiming my lips.

I sink into his kiss; I love his kisses. His hands creep into hair his fingertips brushing the short strands as he holds me in place...not that I have any intention of going anywhere. Our lips caress, our tongues playing with each other.

"Ten minutes Colonel Jack."

We pull apart quickly as a small shepherd comes sprinting into the room.

"Huh?" Jack blinks. "Oh right, sure. Ten minutes. Thanks Dean, buddy."

The shepherd offers a toothless grin as he hugs the woolly sheep closer to his sheet covered body before spinning round and running off again.

Jack's sigh causes me to turn my attention to him. Reaching up I adjust the dislodged crown on his silver hair before letting my hand slide down the side of his smooth face.

"You remember your lines?" I tease.

"Very funny," he bitches backing away.

"It's an important part," I reason trying to sound serious. "You don't want to mess it up."

"I won't," he scoffs picking up his Myrrh from the desk. "How could *anyone* mess up the nativity play?"

<><><><><><>

"Don't say it."

"I didn't say anything."

"It wasn't my fault."

"Of course it wasn't," I agree glancing around at the busy ER before letting my eyes fall back on my bruised and battered king. "It could have happened to anybody."

"Hmff," he sulks. "Wouldn't have happened if that stupid kid had held the star up properly like he was supposed too."

I bite back my grin of amusement.

"You should have ducked."

"Ducked?" He asks incredulous turning to face me. "I'd like to see you try and duck when a twelve inch plastic star suddenly shoots from the sky taking a direct route to your skull."

"At least it was for a good cause," I try to compensate.

"Good cause?" I think the possible concussion's turned him into a parrot. "It was meant to lead me to a stable not to the damn emergency room."

"I know," I remark. "To think right now you would have been at your backstage party."

"Funny." He complains.

"I try."

"Damn these seats are uncomfortable."

I have to agree with him. Guess we're too used to the private care of the infirmary; boy, never thought I'd be saying that.

I watch as the next patient gets called in; huh, I wonder how he got something so big in such a small hole? No wonder it got stuck.

"Surely I've gotta be next," Jack bitches trying to angle his watch to see the time while still holding the cloth in place.

"Yeah," I comment, neglecting to point out at least seven other patients who arrived well before my king and I. "You'd think they'd let royal family members in first."

"See? No respect," he grumbles. "And," he bitches, "I can't believe the doc abandoned me like that."

"Jack," I try to reason. "What did you expect her to do? Take you all the way back to the mountain so she can patch you up?"

"Yes!" He triumphs. "That's exactly what I'd expect seeing as I only did the damn play to help out *her* daughter. Last time I do her any favours. Look at the thanks I get."

I take in the rumpled and ripped robe; the bloody nose; the rapidly swelling black eye and the bloodied cloth he has pressed against his forehead.

"It was Cassie's first Christmas play," I soothe. "I'm sure she appreciates it."

"She'd better."

<><><><><>

"Mom, I can't believe how much Uncle Jack embarrassed me!"

"I know honey," Janet soothed tucking a strand of her daughters hair behind her ear. "But it was an accident."

"I know but it ruined everything! I'll never get to be Mary again."

"It's okay," Janet hugged her daughter closer. "We'll never ask him to be a substitute king again...next time we'll ask Daniel."

_--the end--_