Title: Knocking At Death's Door.

Author: Aussie Mel

Category: Jack/Daniel, Established Relationship, POV, Hurt/Comfort and Slash.

Season: Anywhere before season six.

Spoilers: Stargate Movie only brief mentions of it though.

Pairing: Jack/Daniel

Rating: NC-17

Warnings: Character death, slash, swearwords, graphic m/m sex. Please, if this kind of thing offends you, DO NOT read it.

Summary: When Daniel is fatally wounded on a routine mission, how will his lover cope?

Beta Reader: Steph

Authors Note: This is my first slash fic, so be nice. No flaming of any sort will be accepted and all flames will be doused in a bucket of ice water. If slash stories offend you DO NOT read this story.

Also this story is not recommended to readers under the age of 18 as it depicts adult material and graphic sex scenes between two males.

I encourage anyone who reads my work to tell me what they think; I would love to receive feedback.

Also, this fic would not have been possible without Stephicozar who gave me some advice and graciously offered to beta it for me and for Darelle who encouraged me to keep writing it. Thanks all and happy reading. Cya, Aussie Mel.

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. I have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author(s).

// Indicates a flashback//

Knocking At Death's Door
Aussie Mel

he is a god in my eyes--
the man who is allowed
to sit beside you -- he

who listens intimately
to the sweet murmur of
your voice, the enticing

laughter that makes my own
heart beat fast. If I meet
you suddenly, I can't

speak -- my tongue is broken;
a thin flame runs under
my skin; seeing nothing,

hearing only my own ears
drumming, I drip with sweat;
trembling shakes my body

and I turn paler than
dry grass. At such times
death isn't far from me

"Daniel…No…NO!" I cry out as I see my lover crumple to the ground in a heap next to the DHD.

It was meant to be a routine mission: just a standard meet-and- greet. How did it all go to Hell so quickly? I should have been more alert. I didn't even see the Jaffa patrol until it was too late. Much too late.

Now it may have cost Daniel his life. I've gone numb. Shock I think. I don't even remember returning through the gate. If it weren't for Carter's quick thinking, I'd have died on that planet. I can't believe I did the exact thing I promised myself I wouldn't do when we got involved. I froze up. I saw Daniel go down with that staff blast and I froze. I couldn't do a thing. All I could think of was that I'd failed to protect him. That he could die.

God…Danny don't die on me…I need you too much. I...I love you… Please don't leave me, you're my world…my, everything… I can't even think about living my life without you.

A week before the mission to P3X-277 we celebrated our four year anniversary.

~~~~~~~~~~

// "Jack, can I open my eyes yet?" Daniel complained as I led him into the house.

"No. Just be patient will you, I promise you will like it. Careful… step up…okay, you can open your eyes now," I told him once we had reached the bedroom.

"Jack you trying to tell me something here?" he asked with a seductive smile.

"No. Stop thinking with your dick and get changed and showered. By then I should have everything ready. And no peaking! Don't come out until I say otherwise, okay?" I chastise my mischievous lover gently.

"Can I at least have a kiss? You've been holding out on me for weeks," he said, pouting.

"Oh… I think I can manage that," I smiled as I moved in closer so our bodies were pressed tantalizingly close. We stood there for what seemed like hours just staring at each other's faces and lips before either of us moved. Finally, having enough of watching Daniel's beautiful face, I moved in and gently covered his lips with mine, keeping the first kiss slow and gentle. I can never get enough of him. I love his unique taste and that he always tastes of coffee. I slowly brought my hand up to cup the back of his neck as I deepened the kiss. Soon the kiss turned hungry, lust driven, and I pulled back to stare into his beautiful blue eyes and gasp in a lungful of oxygen as my lungs started to protest.

I brought my hand around to cup his flushed cheek in my calloused hand. "I love you Daniel," I told him, staring into his lust- darkened eyes and kiss-swollen lips.

"I love you too, Jack," he said softly while staring intently at my face.

"Come on, go have a shower and get changed and call me when you've finished. Okay?" I stepped back, dropping my hand back to my side.

"Okay, but I told you before I hate surprises," he grumbled.

"Trust me. You'll like this one," I promised him as I backed out of the room.

From the bedroom, I went into the lounge room and set about lighting the large fireplace, which took up the far wall of the room, along with several vanilla scented candles that I had placed around the room to set the mood.

I had been planning this for weeks. I had everything perfect. The table was set with a deep maroon tablecloth with a set of three white dinner candles sitting in the centre. I had also set the table with the fine china dinner plates that I had acquired after my divorce from Sara. I also placed a small metal bucket full of ice for the wine off to the side. I had the lights turned off so the room was bathed in the warm glow of the fireplace and the candles setting the romantic mood perfectly.

For dinner I had prepared steaks with Diane sauce, baked vegetables, and chocolate mousse and strawberries for desert. I had spent ages trying to get them just right; I'm a pretty good cook. Don't tell anyone though, or I'll be made to cook on all the missions, and I don't cook unless I have to or I have the motivation. Tonight it's the latter. Daniel's all the motivation I need.

I checked dinner, which was almost cooked; about another fifteen to twenty minutes left, and threw a quick glance around the room to make sure everything was in place and ready for the evening. I also quickly checked my pant's pocket to make sure I had my gift to Daniel, which thankfully had been finished that afternoon. I'd been worried that it wouldn't be ready for tonight but, thankfully, it had been.

"Jack, I'm finished. Can I come out now?" I heard Daniel call out through the bedroom door.

"Wait. Stay there. Wait till I come in there," I called as I walked over to the bedroom door. "Close your eyes while I come in."

"Fine my eyes are closed. You can come in now."

"Don't speak," I warned him as I enter the room and walked up behind him so my body was pressed flush against his back while I removed his glasses, put them in my pocket, then placed my hands over his eyes so he couldn't see anything.

"Okay, start walking forward slowly," I whispered into his ear, causing a shiver to run through his warm body as I led him into the lounge room. Once there I removed my hands from his face so he could see what I'd done to the room. I replaced his glasses so he could see better before I wrapped my arms around his broad chest and hugged him close to me, getting him to lean back and rest his head on my shoulder as he let his eyes wander around the room quietly admiring what I'd done to the place.

"Wow, Jack you did this for me?" he asked with his mouth and eyes open in amazement.

"Yes, I did. Do you like it?" I asked as I leant down and kissed a trail down his neck to his collarbone.

"Yes…I…love it Jack. Thank you," he said, turning around to face me.

"Good," I said quietly, admiring the view. Daniel had worn tight black jeans, and a dark cobalt blue turtleneck sweater that brought out the blue of his eyes.

"I love this, you went to a lot of trouble," Daniel gestured behind him with one hand while his eyes gently roamed over my body. I had dressed casually in a tan pair of lose fitting slacks with a light brown v-necked sweater.

"You look really good Daniel," I told him, commenting on his choice of clothing.

"Thanks, you look very handsome too," he replied and walked into the room. "God… Jack, what smell's so nice? I'm starving; I…forgot to have lunch," Daniel admitted. "Can we eat now?"

I walked over to the CD player and put on some soft music. "A bit impatient aren't we Danny? Dinner's still got a little while longer before it's ready. Do you want a glass of wine while we wait?"

`Sure,' he replied as I went into the kitchen to get us both a glass of red wine.

When I got back to the lounge room with our drinks I sat them down on the coffee table, held out my hand to him.

"May I have this dance?" I asked him as a slow song came on.

"Id be honoured, Colonel," he smiled, grasped my hand and rose to his feet.

My love,
There's only you in my life.
The only thing that's bright.

As the song starts to play gently I pulled him close against my body, placing my arms firmly around his waist as we started to slowly sway to the music. I felt him reach up and place his arms around my neck, before pulling in closer to me to rest his head on my shoulder.

My first love,
you're every breath that I take.
You're every step I make.

As we gently sway to the music, I listened to the words of the song, thinking of how they rang true for us. We had been together for four wonderful years now. I don't think I've ever loved someone this much in my life, not even Sara. I loved her, but there's just
something about Daniel that just wants to make you open up to him and spill your guts.

And I,
I-I-I-I-I,
I want to share,
all my love with you.
No one else will do.

That's true there will never be anyone but you for me, Danny.

"Jack, I like this. Just being able to be with you. We don't get to be together like this very often," he whispered against my chest, before looking up and gazing into my eyes.

"What the romantic dinner for two?" I grinned at him.

"Well no … yes, I mean just being together. Just being Jack and Daniel not Colonel O'Neill and Doctor Jackson."

I know what he means. I like being able to do stuff as a couple and not just team mates.

"Yeah, I know. I like it too, Danny." I bent down and placed a feather light kiss onto the top of his head.

And your eyes,
your eyes, your eyes,
they tell me how much you care.
Oooohh yes, you will always be,
my endless love.

As the song continued its soft melody I gazed into his blue orbs. It's true what they say about the eyes being the windows to the soul. You can tell so much about a person just by looking into their eyes. I love Daniel's eyes they are the deepest blue I have ever seen and I could easily get lost in their depths.

As we slowly danced together, I listened to the gentle voices of the music, just letting them wash over me.

Two hearts,
two hearts that beat as one.
Our lives have just begun.

Forever,
Ohhhhhh...
I'll hold you close in my arms.
I can't resist your charms.

Who would have thought that an old Air Force Colonel like me would love dancing? I'd never live it down if any of my people found out - not that Danny would tell them - but it'd ruin my image. Though at the moment I don't care. I just love the feeling of freedom that moving around dancing with the man I love gives me.

And love,
oh, love,
I'll be a fool,
for you.

I'm sure,
you know I don't mind.
Oh, you know I don't mind.

I never realised how true this song was for us, I've heard it a million-and-one times but I've never really listened to it.

'Cause you,
you mean the world to me.
Oooohh...
I know,
I know,
I've found in you,
my endless love.

Oooh, and love.
Oh, love,
I'll be that fool,
for you.
I'm sure,
You know I don't mind.
Oh you know,
I don't mind.

As the song started to fade out to a stop I gently brought my right hand up to cup his chin, making him look up at me, before I leant down to capture his lips with mine in a sweet, tender kiss.

And, YES,
You'll be the only one.
'Cause no one can deny,
This love I have inside.
And I'll give it all to you,
My love,
My love, my love,
My endless love.

Once the song had finished, we pulled apart and walked back to pick up our wine glasses.

"You know, Jack, we should go dancing more often. Your really good at it," Daniel said before taking a mouthful of wine.

"Where? We can't exactly go to the normal place couples go can we?" I asked between sips of wine.

"We could always go to one of those clubs in Denver…you know the ones," Daniel explained matter-of-factly or even seductively.

"Yeah, okay, if we get some time off next weekend we'll go. How's that?" I asked him.

"Okay. So when's dinner going to be ready?"

"Ah, it should be ready," I said as I walked into the kitchen with Daniel close behind me.

I checked dinner and seeing that it was ready I serves it out onto two plates, before refilling our now empty glasses and sitting everything on the table.

I pulled out Daniel's chair before sitting down to eat.

"Getting sappy in your old age, Colonel?' he teased.

"You better believe it! But lets keep it secret. Wouldn't want to ruin my reputation now would we?"

We ate our dinner in companionable silence just enjoying each other's company and celebrating our four years together.

"Oh God! Where did you learn to cook? That was fantastic!" Daniel commented.

"Can't go giving out all my secrets now can I?"

"No, I suppose you can't," he replied, grinning back at me.

"Care for some more wine, Daniel?" I asked him.

"Sure. Why don't we move this into the lounge room?" he suggested, getting out of his seat and moving out of the kitchen.

"Thanks for doing this, we never really get to spend a lot of quiet nights in, just the two of us, with no interruptions," Daniel said, sitting down on the lounge and gesturing for me to sit down next to him so he can cuddle up next to me.

I like this. The cuddling and just generally being together. I could live without the sex, though the sex is really good. If I ever lost this small intimacy I don't know what I'd do. As it is we don't get to do it nearly enough, what with work and spending time with the rest of the team. I think I'm going to have to make sure we do this more often. So I tell him as much.

"Daniel, I got you something for our anniversary," I said, pulling back from him a bit so I could see his face.

"Jack, I though we agreed that we weren't exchanging gifts this year."

"Well, we weren't, but I've been meaning to get this for awhile and now seemed like as good a time as any," I said as I reached into my pocket and pulled out a small box, which has my gift in it.

"Daniel, I love you. I always will. I don't see myself ever being in another relationship. I consider us being forever. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Growing old together. You are the best thing that has happened to me. After Sara left me I thought
I'd never fall in love again," I admitted, pausing to gather my thoughts as I looked up into his eyes.

"After that first trip to Abydos, I felt something for you. It wasn't love. Not then. But it didn't take long for me to fall head over heals for you. I guess what I'm trying to say is… will you marry me? I don't even know if two guys can get married, but, well, I wanted something to show our commitment to each other. Even if you don't want to get married I got these rings to show how much I love you." I removed the two gold bands from the small jewellery box the jeweller had placed them in.

Kneeling down in front of him I took his left hand in mine and placed one of the rings onto his ring finger. Looking up into his eyes I softly asked, "Doctor Daniel Melburn Jackson, will you marry me?"

"Yes, Jack, I will marry you. And yes, two guys can get married, not legally but yes, we can get married," he replied, happily flinging his arms around my neck and pulling me into a heated kiss, conveying his love for me through that small gesture.

When we pulled apart he looked into my eyes that were shining brightly through unshed tears. "Jack, I do love you. Don't ever doubt that. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to grow old with you, not worrying about anything but being happy," he grinned broadly then suddenly looks shy. "Look at me, I'm turning into a big sap." He roughly brushed at his eyes to remover the moisture that had started to form there.

"You? A sap? Never. Besides, I'm the one that's gone sappy on you. Look at this. I don't think you're sappy and besides, it's allowed once in awhile," I said, breaking into the serious mood.

"Yeah, I'll give you that, you old romantic," Daniel laughed lightly. "Oh…did you get a ring for yourself?' he suddenly asked, looking at me.

"Of course." I pulled the matching band out of the small box and passed it to him. "It's got an inscription on the inside," I explained as I showed him what it said.

"Jack … My Heart … My Soul … Forever … Daniel," he read out loud.

The inscription was done so there was no beginning and no end to it so it read `JackMyHeartMySoulForeverDaniel'.

"Yours is the same only the Jack and Daniel bit are around the other way," I told him.

Once he had inspected the ring he grasped my left hand placing the ring on my ring finger before leaning down to plant a chaste kiss on my lips.

"Why give me the ring now? Why not wait till we get married?" he asked me quietly.

"I wanted to give you something as a token of my love for you and to be honest I wasn't sure if you would say yes. So I thought I'd give you the ring now and we could take them off say a few days before the wedding and exchange rings then as well," I answered him,
looking down at the band around my finger.

"Of course I'd say yes, Jack, I love you!" he replied, pulling me from where I was knelt at his feet so I could sit next to him on the lounge.

"Jack what about work? We can't wear them there. If were caught with them on they'll figure out about us," Daniel asked worriedly.

"Don't worry about that. Wear it always. If we're caught out I'll retire. So we wear them all the time," I told him looking into his eyes and seeing all the love the man held for me. Sometimes I wonder what I ever did to get so lucky.

"I love it Jack, and I'll wear it all the time."

"What about the wedding? When are we going to do that?" he asked me.

"Soon. In a couple of weeks maybe, depending on our schedules. But we can discuss this tomorrow. Right now, do you think we could fit a short field trip to the bedroom into our schedules?,' I tell him as I stand up and hold out my hand for him to take. Daniel mutters
under his breath, "Short?" as he takes my hand and I grin mischievously at him. When he got to his feet I led him to the bedroom.

As soon as we reached the bedroom the temperature rose about another ten degrees.

I quickly stepped over to my lover so we were facing each other and I ran my hands up over his smooth chest. Bringing one hand up to cup his face, I drew him in for a slow tender kiss.

God I love his mouth, his taste, it's something I'll never get tired of no matter how long I live. I gently eased my tongue out to brush along his bottom lip, encouraging him to open his mouth, which he eagerly did. I gently pushed my tongue into his mouth and started to
gently explore every inch of its exquisite depths. As I explored his mouth I felt him ease his tongue into my mouth and begin to methodically count every tooth in my mouth.

As I started to ease back I heard Daniel moan in protest and felt him grasp the back of my neck and pull me into a deeper, need-filled kiss, as he ran his other hand down my back, gently caressing it along the way to finally rest on my ass so he could pull us closer together.

When the need for air became too great we pulled back, gasping for air, and gazed into each other's eyes. I slowly brought my left hand up to gently caress his cheek and brushed my thumb across his cheekbone gently stroking the soft skin of his face, while my other hand busily stroked his lower back in calming circles, which were designed to slowly arouse him.

"God, Daniel … has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are?" I quietly asked my lover.

"I believe you've mentioned it a few times," he whispered back grinning coyly up at me. At that my face broke out into a grin. I loved that. The fact that no matter where we were I could always manage to get Daniel to go all coy on me, you'd think after four years of being lovers, of being soul mates, that he'd no longer get shy around me, but Danny has a habit of going against the norm, and I love him for it.

I slowly ran my hand down his face and trailed my fingertips down his long throat so my fingers just barely touch the surface of his neck causing goose bumps to appear on his skin. I brought my hands around so that they were holding him firmly around the waist as I moved my face down toward his neck so I could taste every inch of the expanse of skin revealed to me.

I started to gently lick a trail from his collarbone up to behind his ear, paying particular attention to the area just behind his ear where he is particularly sensitive. He started moaning encouragement and leaning his head back to give me better access. I nibbled along his jaw line and made my way down the other side of his neck kissing and nibbling my way down, taking his soft moaning as a sign to continue the gentle assault on his body. As I reached his collarbone I was forced to stop because his sweater is covering the remainder of his torso, restricting me from doing any further exploring. I moved my hands from their resting position on his waist to reach under the hem of his sweater to lightly caress up his broad back. I registered a couple more wandering hand easing their way underneath my own sweater to stroke my chest and back making me momentarily forget my pleasurable assault on Daniel, as I was swept away in the pleasure Daniel is giving me as he gently rubbed and stroked my nipples into aroused hardness, making me gasp.

Getting impatient to feel more of his skin I eased his sweater off his tall muscular body, then made short work of mine, quickly pulling it off to join Daniel's, forgotten on the floor somewhere. Once they were gone, Daniel leaned forward and attached his mouth onto my right nipple slowly licking around it then gently mouthing it making me moan out my approval. Taking my moaning as encouragement he started to tenderly nibble and suck on it, before he moved onto the other one and repeated the process. Instinctually, my hands came up to grasp his head loosely while he pleasured me.

Not being able to take any more teasing I pulled his head up and bring my mouth down over his, bringing him into a steamy kiss, only pulling apart when the need for air became too great. Not being able to take the pressure in my pants any longer I quickly undid them, giving myself more room. I did the same for Daniel; once I undid his pants I slipped my hand inside them to gently cup his groin. I slowly curled my fingers around his prick and started slowly stroking him and pulled him in for another fiery kiss, quickly
fucking his mouth with my tongue in time to the stroking of his cock. As I continued stroking him I felt his dick harden to full arousal.

"Jack! Ahhh…Oh God…that feels…ugh…good… But if you…keep that up I'm gonna… come in my pants…" Daniel gasped quietly as he eased my pants down over my ass to pool at my ankles. I quickly toed off my shoes to make removing my pants easier.

"Wouldn't want that now, would we?" I said as I stepped out of my pants and kicked them out of the way. I gave Daniel a few more short strokes before removing my hand and pulling his jeans and shoes off him and tossing them across the room.

Soon we are both standing there clad only in our boxers and socks. I stepped forward holding Daniel around the waist and gently started walking us back toward the large king size bed taking up a majority of the room. We stopped when the back of his legs bumped the edge of the mattress. Running my hands up his sides until they rest on his shoulders, I gently pushed him back onto the bed before quickly climbing over him to lie half over him, then I started to kiss a trail, starting at his jaw and working my way down kissing every inch of exposed skin I could see.

I licked around his left nipple, teasing it into a rosy bud, teasing him. Then I kissed across his chest, repeating the process with its twin, all the while listening to his gasps and moans of pleasure as I slowly drove him insane with need.

As I started to slowly lick a trail south towards his groin he quickly flipped us so he was on top and started to kiss along my collarbone and down my chest, kissing every inch of exposed flesh. Quickly flicking out his tongue to swipe at my over sensitive nipples he made me shiver and groan with barely suppressed need.

Taking his time, he worked his way down, kissing and nibbling at my stomach and quickly arousing me to full hardness. As he reached the hem of my shorts he licked along the edge gently teasing me before moving on and kissing up my inner thighs before mouthing my cock through the thin material of my boxers, making me gasp out in surprise.

"Danny. Please? I can't…take much more…of this. Stop…oh God… fucking teasing me!" I grasped his head trying to bring him back up to me for another kiss.

"How about we get rid of these then?" he asked gently flicking the elastic band on my shorts.

"Sounds good to me," I exclaimed, starting to calm down as Daniel gently eases my shorts down over my ass and straining cock, then tossed them over his shoulder to join the other forgotten clothes on the bedroom floor.

Once my clothing was disposed of I quickly grabbed Daniel around the waist and rolled us over again so that I was on top. I gently ran my hands and up his sides in feather light touches making his skin come up in goose bumps all over. Before leaning in close for a tender kiss we broke apart, staring into each other's eyes. God, I love his eyes - I could lose myself forever just gazing into their crystal clear depths. Slowly I started to kiss and lick a moist trail down his neck to stop at the waistline of his boxers. I kissed down the
light fluttering of hair that disappeared below the elastic before easing them down and flinging them over the side of the bed.

Soon, we were both lying on the bed naked as the day we were born. I slowly worked my way down to his feet, kissing, nibbling and licking my way down, purposely avoiding his groin. Gently caressing thighs I sucked each toe into my mouth, started licking at one bony ankle then kissed my way up the inside of his left leg, paying special attention to the underside of his knee, making him squirm and pant with growing desire. I repeated the slow torture on his other leg, licking the insides of his thighs he started to loudly moan out his need.

"Jack…Jack…Oh God! Please…stop teasing me…you, ahhh…Oh God! You prick!" he panted. Soon I had him squirming on the bed trusting his hips up toward where my head is in his need to get off.

"Patience," I whispered, holding his hips in place as I took the head of his dick in my mouth.

"Oh…God…Jack…more. I can't take much…more of this," he gasped out as I started to pump the base of his cock in time with the movement of my head.

"Come on Danny. Let go…come for me. Come for me, Danny." I never eased up on the slow pumping of his cock. I went back down on him; kissing and nibbling up the shaft before mouthing his balls, making him groan and squirm in pleasure. I moved back up to take him in my mouth and gently sucked on the head of his prick then slowly relax my throat before I took him to the base and slowly moved my head up and down, the shaft curling my tongue around him making him whimper with need. His breathing was becoming more erratic so I sped up my ministrations on his cock, bringing him over the edge.

"Jack..." he panted, "I'm gonna…God! JAAAACK!" he screamed my name as he climaxed.

Before he could come down off his post-orgasmic high, I grabbed the lube, coated my fingers in the substance and gently pushed one finger into his ass, slowly moving it trying to find his hidden gland. Once I'd located it, I gave it a teasing rub before removing
my finger and replacing it with two. Once I was positive my lover was fully relaxed and prepared I promptly coated myself in lube and added a little more to him. "Jack…I'm ready, already. Please…just do it! Fuck me already!" Daniel gasped out as I struck his happy button again.

Seeing how relaxed and ready he was, I knelt between his thighs, picked up his legs and dropped them over my shoulders before lining my dick up with his opening and slowly eased myself inside inch by incredible inch.

"Oh, God, Danny! You're so hot. So fucking tight…" I gasped out as I eased myself in completely until I was buried balls deep in his beautiful ass. I leant down for a hungry kiss.

"Jack…move, damn it. I'm more than ready."

I looked up into his sweat-streaked face and, seeing the truth of those words in his eyes, started to rock, thrusting into him in long deep strokes, rotating my hips so I found his Sweet spot with every thrust. As I thrust up he moved his hips back down to meet me,
gradually we established a slow rhythm. I turned my head to kiss and lick at his thighs - any part of him that I could reach from my position.

"Jesus, Danny. Love you…so hot…you're so fucking hot…" I groaned out as I picked up my rhythm, grabbing his quickly hardening dick and beginning to pump in time to my thrusts.

"Jack! Harder! Faster!' Daniel moaned between each thrust.

I started to speed up, hitting his sweet spot each time, making him moan out my name loudly. With each thrust I rotated my hips alternating between short hard jabs and long slow movements, fucking him into the mattress. I sped up - not able to hold out much
longer. After a few more quick pumps of Daniel's cock he came over our joined bodies for the second time that night with an ecstatic cry, causing his anus muscles to contract around me. I followed him over the edge in an explosive climax.

We both lay there panting hard and covered in sweat and semen until we'd calmed down some and I pulled out of him, rolling over and pulling him to lie on my chest. I cuddled him close, stroking his hair.

"I love you, Danny. I always will. For the rest of my life," I quietly whispered, dropping a light kiss onto his brow.

"I love you too, Jack. And I'm never leaving you," he murmured back, leaning up and pulling me into a slow sensuous kiss that was void of all the hunger and need of our previous kisses.

"Goodnight, Danny."

I held him close as I drifted off to sleep.

"G'night," Daniel mumbled, before letting sleep claim him.//

Part 2

"Colonel? Colonel O'Neill! What the Hell happened out there?" a concerned General Hammond asked me as we quickly followed Doctor Fraiser and her team out of the Gate room to the infirmary.

"I…Daniel…There was a Jaffa Patrol…Didn't see them…I didn't…I should have seen them…It was my fault…I couldn't protect him…" I mumbled out, my eyes never leaving the bloodied and battered form of my lover.

God Danny what did I do?

Why did this happen to you?

Why?

I know I didn't really give Hammond an answer to his question but I couldn't. I can't. It hurts too much to think about. Carter and Teal'c know about our relationship; have for the past year. They can understand to a certain degree what I'm going through.

I remember Hammond saying something about getting cleaned up but I wasn't really listening. I was trying not to lose control and say or do something in front of Hammond that I may come to regret latter.

I know that I'm being quiet and withdrawn from everyone and I know they are only trying to help me but I don't need their pity. I need Daniel. I need to know he is going to be all right - that my mistake hasn't cost him his life.

Daniel's been rushed in for emergency surgery. I could tell by the look on Janet's face as they wheeled him in that it doesn't look good. That he could die. But I also know she will do everything in her power to save him.

God, even thinking about the possibility that he may die is too much to take. I feel like screaming and crying and going mad but I won't do any of it. I need to keep up appearances.

This is so fucked up. I can't even show that I care for him more than a friend or colleague would, which is stupid. All I want to do is hold him and never let go.

I hate the waiting. Not knowing whether he's going to pull through or not - it's a fucking nightmare. It's like losing Charlie all over again.

The only difference is if Daniel dies, I won't recover. My life won't be worth living without him there by my side.

~~~~~~~~~~

// `Noooo!' Sara screamed as we heard the sound of a gun discharging.

I knew in my gut, the moment that gun had gone off what had happened. I just hope that I am wrong. We both raced up the stars of our two-story home and into the master bedroom to find Charlie lying on the floor of the bedroom covered in blood, and holding onto my personal revolver.

"No! Charlie!" I called out as I bent down to pick up the limp form of my son. I carried him to the car running all the way with a hysterical Sara right behind me. I couldn't stop to comfort her; all I could think of was getting my baby boy to the hospital.

As I sped to the hospital Sara cradled Charlie in her arms trying to stem the flow of blood.

We reached the military hospital in record time; thankfully we hadn't been pulled over.

"We need a doctor. Now!" I screamed out as I pushed my way through the swinging doors of the hospital. All of a sudden doctors and nurses surrounded us, pulling Charlie from my arms to be placed on a bed.

I was trying to calm Sara down when the doctor came back from surgery. "How is he, Doctor?" I asked in a horse voice "I'm sorry," he told us. "Your son died during surgery."

"No! No, no…no. There must be some sort of mistake," Sara pleaded with him.

"I'm sorry, there was nothing we could do."

By then I was cradling a distraught Sara in my arms, trying to give and receive comfort as we mourned the loss of our only child.

When we finally laid our boy to rest I thought my life would be over. I was devastated, but somehow I survived it, moved on, however, I will always blame myself for what happened to my baby boy. //

~~~~~~~~~~

He's been in surgery for twelve hours now. I've been pacing the corridor for the past hour. I can't keep still. I'm worried that if I sit down it'll give me too much time to think and if I do that
I'll break down and cry like a baby. Can you believe it? I'm a frigging Air Force Colonel for Christ's sake. Air Force colonels do NOT cry.

See what you do to me Danny?

You're the only one that has ever been able to make me feel as if I can open up. Not be afraid to let my emotions show. All you've ever given me was your love and understanding. You never condemned me for showing you a softer side of myself. I didn't even open up to Sara like I do to you.

Fuck. When will he be out of there?

What's taking so fucking long? He should be out by now. It's been twelve and a half hours, for crying out loud.

Please let him be all right.

Damn it, Daniel, if you don't make it though this…

No, think positive O'Neill.

When you make it through this, I'll retire so we can openly be together and we'll get married just like we were planning to.

"Colonel, I know your worried about him, we all are. We know what you're going through, Sir, but can you stop the pacing, it's driving me nuts," Carter snaps.

"No! You don't know. You have NO fucking idea of what I'm going through right now. So just shut the hell up and keep your opinions to yourself," I angrily bark at her, spinning around to face her.

"I'm sorry. Look, we're just trying to help you; He's our friend too, so don't you think we'd know what you are going through, Sir?' She was starting to get angry.

"Even so, it's not your lover lying in there fighting for his life," I hiss at her, flinging my arm out, indicating the infirmary. I quickly change tact and apologise to her after seeing the look of
hurt on Carter's face, "Look, Carter, I'm sorry. You're right, you do know a bit of what I'm going through and I'm sorry for snapping at you but I'm a little…highly strung at the moment, so I apologize in advance for anything I may say or do," I reply flopping back down into one of the infirmary chairs and looking up at the ceiling trying to blink away the rapidly forming tears.

Air Force Colonels do NOT cry.

"Damn it," I swear under my breath, roughly wiping the stray tears that had begun to fall down my face.

"Colonel, are you all right?" Carter asks as she moves over to sit beside me on the uncomfortable infirmary chairs. I look over at her, my eyes shining with tears as I shake my head and try to get rid of the ones that are now streaming down my face. As I wipe at my face again I feel soft arm's surround my body pulling me into their warm, comforting embrace.

I lean into Carter's embrace and quietly cry against her shoulder. "Shhh. He's going to be all right, we've been in these situation's before and we've always come out fine. He will be fine this time
too. You can never keep Daniel down for long. He's a fighter. Don't give up on him now, not when he needs you the most," she whispers gently into my ear trying to comfort me. Slowly I began to calm down and stop crying.

Suddenly, realising what had happened and the position I had been in, I abruptly pull away roughly wiping my red eyes dry.

"I'm sorry. I, ah, look about that…um…you won't…?"

"Don't worry, Sir, I won't tell a soul and, believe it or not, I can understand what you are going through. We just want to help you through this. If you don't want everyone starting to question why you are spending so much time here you're going to need your friends. We only want to help you. Please let us?" Gazing into my eyes, she pleaded with me to let her and Teal'c help. I just mutely nodded. I knew she was right but it didn't mean I had to like the fact. I know she wants me to reassure her with words that I'd let them help, but the truth was that I was afraid, that if I spoke I'd break down and cry again, only this time I wouldn't be able to stop.

Jut as Carter was about to say something else Doctor Fraiser walked out of the OR, removing the mask she wore.

As soon as I saw her I rushed over to her wanting to know how he was doing.

God. Please be all right.

"He was very severely injured. We managed to stop the internal bleeding, but he lost a lot of blood. At the moment he's in a critical condition. The staff blast caught his lower back. It also
appears that a piece of stray shrapnel found its way into his skull. We decided to leave it there, at the moment its not causing any problems, but I felt if we were to attempt removing it, it would
cause more damage than leaving it there would. At the moment the only thing keeping him alive is the life support system. I'm sorry I don't have better news," Janet said in a monotone, trying to keep her analysis of his condition professional. I didn't hear most of what she said; it just washed over me as if I were watching it on the TV.

I suddenly didn't feel very good; as I felt my legs go to jelly and start to fall to the floor.

A pair of strong arms surrounded me, preventing my inevitable descent, before I threw up all over the floor.

Teal'c gently lowers me to the ground, giving Janet access to check me over. I feel her inject me with something.

"Colonel? Look at me; you're going into shock. I gave you a shot to help but I'm going to get Teal'c to take you to the infirmary shower block and clean you up rather than the nurses. I don't think you need that right now, okay?"

I focused on Janet's worried face before nodding and managing to croak out my protests at not being able to go in and see Danny.

"You can see Daniel as soon as you are cleaned up. It'll give Sam and the others time to see him before you get back, that way you can be by yourself with him. Okay? Also I only want him having one visitor at a time. Now Teal'c, take him and get him cleaned up," Janet ordered, watching me, making sure I didn't offer any more protests.

I didn't. No matter how much I wanted to see Daniel I knew I had to clean up first and the longer I protested the longer it would be before I would see him, so I let Teal'c lift me up and help me to
the showers in the back of the infirmary.

Part 3

Once I'd gotten cleaned up and dressed, I slowly entered Daniel's room. He had been given a private room, which I also noted had a spare bed in it. "Ah…Sam?" I called out quietly before entering his room.

"Um…I don't want to sound rude or anything, but do you think - " I started saying before she interrupted me, holding out her hand to silence my quiet words.

"It's okay. I was just leaving anyway. If there is any change in his condition call me. I'll be in my base quarters," she said as she walked out the door.

"Sure," I whispered, my eyes never leaving my peaceful lover.

I barely noticed her leaving as I approach his bed, leaning down I place a quick kiss onto his brow being mindful of all the tubes and wires he is attached to. I sit down and take his hand in mine, stroking it.

"What happened out there Danny?" I brush my hand down the side of his beautiful face.

Just as I am about to kiss the ring on his other hand I register the door opening.

"How are you, Colonel?" Janet asks me gently, placing a comforting hand on my shoulder.

"I've been better," I replied bitterly, glancing up at her.

"He look's so peaceful. It's like he's just asleep and could wake up at any time," I whisper, looking back down on my lover's prone figure.

I let a laugh out. Not one of happiness but a bittersweet one.

"God. I know this sound's stupid but all I can think of when I see him like this is our trip to Australia together. I just keep thinking of how peaceful and relaxed he was then, and look at him
now, well… it's pretty stupid," I say self-consciously, as I start to remember the happy memory.

~~~~~~~~~~

//"God Jack, this is beautiful. I love it! And, what's more, we don't have to hide the fact that we're a couple. I mean no one here knows us. We can be ourselves," Daniel happily exclaimed as we left the airport.

"Yeah, it's great. So I take it you like the present?" I smiled, taking his hand in mine.

"Yeah, I love it. Thanks Jack,' he said, kissing my hand that was holding his.

"Come on Danny, let's get to the motel before it gets too late. And then maybe we can go out for dinner if were not too tired," I said, pulling him along to the taxi stand outside the airport.

"Sounds good to me," he smiled up at me as we got into the taxi and drove to our motel.

Once we'd checked in, we went up to our room, which was on the fifth floor of one of the best motels in Brisbane. Our room was one of the honeymoon suites. It had a large king size bed taking up most of the room bedroom, with a Jacuzzi in the en suite and large glass doors onto the balcony, which looked out over the ocean.

"Jack, this is beautiful. It must have cost you a fortune," Daniel looked around the room.
"Not really, and anyway it doesn't matter how much it cost, it's for your birthday. So I don't really care as long as you enjoy yourself," I stated as I moved up behind him and pulled him into my
arms.

"I love it but you really didn't have to go to this much trouble," he replied, clasping his arms over mine, which are firmly placed around his chest.

"You trying to say you don't want it?" I asked in mock in mock amazement. "And anyway, I did this as much for me as for you. I wanted to go somewhere where we didn't have to hide behind closed doors all the time. It was starting to drive me crazy."

"No! No, I love it, I really do," he said as I nuzzled my face into his warm neck. "I'm just saying that I would have been just as happy at home. But enough of this talking now. What time is it?" he asked, stepping away from me, walked over to the bed and sat down.

"Um, it's 6.30pm, Australian time," I replied, having located the clock sitting on the dressing table. I quickly reset my watch to Australian time and went and joined Daniel on the large bed.

"Why don't we get changed and go get something to eat? I don't know about you but I could eat a horse," he said, chuckling lightly.

"Yeah, I'm a bit that way myself. Come on, I know a place that is supposed to be good. Get changed into something formal. The place has a formal dress code." I pulled Daniel to his feet and started to help him remove his restrictive clothing.

"You've been here before?"

"Yeah. About twenty years ago I had a joint mission with the SAS. We were doing some joint exercises in Australia to prepare for it. Though I didn't actually go to this restaurant, it came highly recommended by a couple of the guys I worked with."

I started unbuttoning his shirt and removing the garment from his lean, muscular body. It's hard to believe sometimes how physically fit Daniel is. He's always hiding his body in baggy BDUs, which don't really show off his body. But oh what a body he has. He is drop dead fucking gorgeous. I know I'm not the only one that's been trying to get into his pants, though I'm the only one who has succeeded.

Once Daniel was standing before me bare-chested, I looked up into his eyes before leaning in to capture his lips in a soul-shattering kiss. As we continued to kiss Daniel started to unbutton my shirt letting it fall from my arms to the floor.

Slowly we pulled apart gazing into each other's lust-darkened eyes.

"Jack, unless you plan on finishing what you started I suggest you leave me to dress myself," Daniel huskily chastised me.

"Who says I wasn't planning to finish what I started?" I asked him; my voice thick with lust as I started to trail moist kisses down his neck and chest. "Come on, we need to take a shower and get cleaned up." With a waggle of my eyebrows as I moved towards the bathroom, I asked, "Care to join me?"

"Sure, I could handle that," he replied quickly, removing the remainder of his clothing and joining me in the bathroom where I had stripped and started the shower. Testing that the water was a bearable temperature I quickly pulled Daniel in to join me in the large shower.

Letting the warm water gently cascade over us I leaned in and captured Daniel's mouth in a hungry, demanding kiss. Soon we were both erect and straining to get off.

"What do you want, Jack? Do you want me to fuck you? Hard and fast so you can feel every inch of my dick in your ass?" Daniel asked me with a predatory glint in his eyes.

"Yes. God yes. I want you to fuck me 'til I come, screaming your name."

Daniel quickly grabbed the conditioner from the rack in the shower and poured a generous amount into his hands, coating his fingers with the slick substance. He stepped closer so our bodies were pressed close together, face to face, before reaching around behind me and inserting a slick finger into my opening, moving it in and out of my body in a quick rhythm.

"God Daniel…more…God, that feels good!" I gasped out as Daniel inserted a second finger and moved it around, probing me to find my hidden gland. It didn't take long before he located it and started to slowly massage it.

"Don't stop," I growled out as he removed his probing fingers from my body.

"It's okay," his voice was low and husky. "Grab hold of the showerhead and wrap your legs around my waist," he instructed me as he placed his cock at my opening.

Once we were in position he slowly eased himself inside my body in one smooth stroke, burying himself to the hilt. Once he was sure I'd adjusted to him he started to thrust up into my body, hitting my happy button with every stroke making me cry out at the pleasure.

"Fuck, Danny! Harder, faster…please just fuck me!" I shouted out.

I leaned down to plant a heated kiss on Daniel as I thrust down fast meeting his upward motion, impaling myself down hard onto his length. As I started to feel the heat rising and the tightening in my balls I knew I couldn't last much longer and I could tell from the look on Danny's face that he wouldn't last much longer either.

He started to increase his speed, thrusting hard and fast, filling me, and completing me with every movement of his hips.

"DANNY! I'm gonna…Oh God DANNY!" I roared as I fell over the edge, coming over our joined bodies.

"Love you. Love you so fucking much. OH GOD!" he screamed as he released inside me sending waves of pleasure through me as his shooting seed struck my prostate gland.

Quickly he withdrew from my body allowing my legs to fall to the tiled floor before I was pulled into a slow tender kiss.

"Wow, Jack, that was – "

"Intense," I finished for him, grabbing the soap and sponge and started to wash my lover, removing the evidence of our coupling.

Once I'd finished washing him he grabbed the soap and scrubbed me down.

Once we had finished our shower we quickly towelled off and got changed into clean, formal clothing, ready for dinner.

~~~~~~~~~~

We arrived at the restaurant five minutes late. The place was nice; it overlooked the water and had a dance floor and a very romantic atmosphere to it. All in all it was perfect.

"Table for O'Neill?" I asked as we entered the foyer of the restaurant.

"Jack, this place is beautiful," he said, gazing around the room as we were seated at our table.

"I'm glad you like it," I replied as I looked up into his shining eyes.

Once we ordered our meals we sat there making idle conversation and drinking our wine, while we waited for our dinner to be served.

I loved this. Daniel was so peaceful and relaxed. I guess I was too. Since we didn't have to hide the fact that we were lovers from everyone. No one here knew us, we were free to be ourselves and if they didn't like it well then they can fuck off as far as I'm concerned.

It didn't take long and soon our dinner was served. We sat in silence just enjoying each other's company while we ate.

"Jack, this place is wonderful. Great food, great atmosphere and best of all, great company," he grinned at me after finished his meal.

"Yeah, I agree." I slowly inched my hand forward to cover his hand that was resting on the tabletop causing his face to light up in a brilliant smile that would melt the heart of any one. I entwined our fingers together so we were holding hands across the table for the first time in a public place. It felt good. It made me feel more relaxed than I had in an extremely long time, and from the look on his face I could tell he felt the same way. The only time where we had been able to do this back home was behind closed doors where no one could see us. But everyone gets sick of hiding eventually. All I feel like doing is going up to Hammond and yelling out that I love Daniel Jackson. Though I would never do that, it'd be a sure-fire way of getting my ass thrown in jail.

"Penny for 'em?" my lover asked.

"Ach, I was just thinking how good this is. That we don't have to hide the fact that we're lovers." I gently squeezed his hand before bringing it up to my lips where I kissed the palm of his hand, not caring what anyone else thought.

"Yeah, it sure is nice," he replied, rewarding me with one of his special smiles meant for only me.

"Do you wanna dance?" I asked him as I rose to my feet as the music started.

"I'd love to." Daniel allowed me to pull him to his feet and lead him to the dance floor where the other couples had started dancing.

As the song began its slow melody I pulled my beautiful love close against my body, wrapping my arms around his broad back, while he rested his head against my shoulder and wrapped his arms loosely around my waist. We began swaying in time with the music. I recognised the song as one I knew and began to softly sing the words of the song into Daniel's ear.

It was no accident me finding you.
Someone had a hand in it,
Long before we ever knew.

Now I just can't believe you're in my life.
Heaven's smilin' down on me,
As I look at you tonight.

I quietly sang the words of the song to him, feeling him smile against my chest. I slipped my hands down to rest on his ass as we swayed in time to the gentle music flowing around the room.

I tip my hat to the keeper of the stars.
He sure knew what he was doin',
When he joined these two hearts.

I hold everything,
When I hold you in my arms.
I've got all I'll ever need,
Thanks to the keeper of the stars.

As I sang and moved with Danny across the small dance floor I thought about how true the words of the song were for us. Daniel lifted his head to gaze into my eyes, resting his hands against my
ass.

Soft moonlight on your face,
oh how you shine.
It takes my breath away,
Just to look into your eyes.

I know I don't deserve a treasure like you.
There really are no words,
To show my gratitude.

I love this song. It represented Danny and me so well. He looked up at me, his face lighting up in a smile as I hit a particularly bad note, going off key, which just makes him chuckle.

So I tip my hat to the keeper of the stars.
He sure knew what he was doin',
When he joined these two hearts.

I hold everything,
When I hold you in my arms.
I've got all I'll ever need,
Thanks to the keeper of the stars.

It was no accident me finding you.
Someone had a hand in it,
Long before we ever knew.

As the last verse of the song finished, I stopped singing and leaned down to gently ghost a kiss across his lips, then pulled back and lead him back to our table. We called the waiter for the bill,
before leaving the restaurant hand in hand.

We walked around for a bit looking at the sights of the city. Though as much as we wanted to further explore the beautiful city we had to head back to the motel for some much needed rest. The jet lag was killing me and I knew we were both exhausted.

We reached the motel in no time, taking the lift up to our room.

"Did you have a nice night, Danny?" I stood before him as he started to quickly get undressed and ready for bed.

"Yeah, it was wonderful. I didn't know you could sing though?" he smiled, coming closer to me.

"I can't. I don't think I got one note right," I said, laughing quietly as I removed my shirt and jacket.

"Nah, you did good. I think you managed to get a note or two right. Who knew the big macho Air Force colonel was such a closet romantic?" Daniel wrapped his slender arms around my waist.

Daniel had stripped down to his boxer shorts, revealing his smooth skin to me as he leaned up to capture my lips in a slow sensuous kiss, which lasted several breathtaking moments. I lightly brushed my tongue along his lower lip encouraging him to open his mouth to me, which he did, eagerly deepening the kiss. As we continued to kiss I ghosted my fingers along his sides and chest, caressing the smooth skin laid out before me. We broke the kiss and stared into each other's darkened eyes seeing the love we held for each other reflected there.

I quickly removed my shoes, socks and pants, so I was standing in front of my lover clad only in my boxers. Once I had done that I pulled him into another long kiss, savouring his unique taste.

"Come on, let's go to bed. It's late and I'm exhausted from the jet lag," I said. Holding Daniel around the waist I pulled him with me to the bed.

"Yeah. Ack, the time difference is killing me. All I want to do is sleep for a week," he replied and flopped heavily onto the bed, pulling me with him.

"I know. Come here." I indicated for him to rest his head on my chest. Once he had settled down onto my chest I turned the bedside lamp off and held him close.

"I love you, Danny," I told him as I dropped a kiss onto the top on his head.

I know. I love you too, Jack," he sleepily replied, dropping a kiss onto my chest before letting the exhaustion take over and pull him into a deep sleep.

Once Daniel was fast asleep, softly snoring, I finally let sleep overtake me. //

Part 4

"O'Neill, may I come in?" I hear Teal'c ask as he comes to stand at the entrance to the room, hands clasped firmly behind his back.

"I'll leave you gentlemen to it, and make sure you get some sleep Jack, that's why the spare bed is there," Janet says and makes her way to the door.

"I will," I reply, hoping that no one notices the wavering in my voice.

"Jack, Teal'c, I'll be here until 3am so if you need anything just give me a yell," she tells us before leaving the room to give us some privacy.

"Yeah, Teal'c you don't have to ask to come in," I tell the Jaffa as he enters Daniel's room.

"I will not stay long. I just wished to see how DanielJackson and yourself were doing," Teal'c said, coming to stand beside me as I gently stroked Daniel's face.

"How is he?"

"Not good. Doc thinks there is only a very slim chance he'll survive and if he does manage to pull through he'll likely be severely brain damaged and will likely never walk again."

"DanielJackson is a fighter; he will pull through this. He has beaten the odds on many occasions."

"Yeah, but all those times we were off world where there was some alien doohickey to fix him up. This time there is nothing."

"Perhaps. Do not give up hope; DanielJackson needs you at the moment. Do not give up on him."

"Believe me, I don't want to give up hope but at the moment there is very little hope left. I mean, he can't even breathe on his own without the help of a damn machine," I practically yelled at
Teal'c. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you. God, this is so hard," I admit while rubbing my hands down my face.

"I will take my leave of you now. I need to kel'no'reem, but remember that your friends are here, O'Neill, if you ask." Teal'c spoke as stoically as ever, bowing slightly before leaving the room,
closing the door behind him.

~~~~~~~~~~

"God, Daniel. Wake up, please. I need you. Please survive this, please…" I say softly while I brush away the hair that had fallen over his face - he was a bit overdue for a haircut but I don't care. I love him with longer hair. It suits him.

This morning when Janet checked his vitals, she said he'd slipped into a coma and was unresponsive. It's been a week since the dreadful mission, which left Daniel laid up in this hospital bed.

//I finally got up the courage to ask Daniel out on a date. Call me a wimp but I can't even do that properly, I didn't even ask him face to face. I'm a coward I know, but I couldn't handle it if he turned me down. But he was going to get one hell of a surprise when he realised just whom he was going on a date with.

You see I'd fallen for my archaeologist from the word go, well not quiet but since the second Abydos mission - it hadn't been love at first site but that's when I'd felt the first twinge of attraction to him and it's only grown bigger from there. God, it's taken me nearly a year to work up the courage to ask him out.

You would have thought that me being a tough-guy Air Force Colonel I would have ran a mile once I'd realised I'd fallen for another guy but the truth is, I've always been attracted to men, more so than women. I thought I was gay until I met Sara. She was the first woman I'd ever been attracted to. I had been involved with other men before, but nothing since the divorce, and being military kinda kills any chance at a relationship with a guy anyway. The chance of getting caught is too great, but if I met the right person male or female I'd happily give up the military to be with them. I'm getting a bit ahead of myself now. We hadn't even been on a date yet, and I was already planning the happily-ever-afters. Well anyway, I ordered a box of white heart shaped chocolates and a basket filled with Daniel's favourite foods and drinks and had it delivered to his office with a note attached that said:

The fountains mingle with the river,
And the rivers with the ocean;
The winds of heaven mix forever,
With a sweet emotion;
Nothing in the world is single;
All things by a law divine
In one another's being mingle--
Why not I with thine?

See! the mountains kiss high heaven,
And the waves clasp one another;
No sister flower would be forgiven,
If it disdained it's brother;
And the sunlight clasps the earth,
And the moonbeams kiss the sea;--
What are all these kissings worth,
If thou kiss not me?

Dearest Daniel,
Meet me at Rigonii's restaurant at 7.30pm and ask to be seated at a table for
Patrick. I will already be there. Hope to see you Tonight. Love always, Your Secret Admirer.

Once I'd actually sent the package, all I could do was wait and hope that he turned up. If he didn't I'd have to try a more direct approach. I knew that the whole gift thing is kinda sappy, so sue
me, I couldn't give a rat's arse Though if anyone said I was a romantic, I'd deny it. I have an image to maintain, after all.

I hadn't seen Daniel all day. Well that's wasn't entirely true, I'd been avoiding him all day just in case I let something slip and he figured out I sent that basket before our date. I had everything
organised perfectly, we'd have dinner at Rigonii's restaurant, before we go back to my place for coffee. Then I'd drop Daniel home and if all went well I could even manage a good night kiss. I didn't want to rush things with him and scare him off, but if all went to plan, by this time next week Daniel would be my…boyfriend? Okay, I thought I was a bit old to use that in this context, even if technically it was true. Okay, slow down O'Neill you haven't even had your first date yet.

~~~~~~~~

I'd been sitting in the restaurant for over an hour by now. All right, so I'd arrived about an hour early, but still –

I was facing away from the door so he wouldn't recognise me at first, and hopefully wouldn't run a mile when he realised he was on a date with his CO.

"Ahh, table for Patrick please?"

God, he's here, I can hear him. I won't look around. I could hear the waiter leading Daniel across the room to our table, which was located in the most secluded and closed off section of the
restaurant. I'd chosen to give us more privacy.

"Here you go, Sir, this is your table. Would you gentlemen like anything to drink?" the waiter asked as Daniel took his seat across from me.

"Ah, no thanks, we'll order shortly," I replied before turning my attention to Daniel to see what his reaction was.

"Hey Daniel," I said coolly, trying to break the silence that had started to descend upon us.

"Jack, what are you doing here? I mean, did you send that basket?" Daniel asked quietly, trying to figure me out.

"Ah, yeah I did. Look if you don't want to stay I'll understand, it's not like you knew your date would be a man." I held eye contact with him, trying to convey my feelings to him through that
look.

"No. I mean yes, I just wasn't expecting you here that's all. I…I didn't think you had those kinds of feeling for me."

"I guess I didn't have the guts to ask you out in person 'cause I was afraid of what your reaction would be. You do want this to be a… a date, don't you?" I asked while trying not to let the hope in my voice sound too obvious.

"Yes, I want this to be a date. I loved the basket and note. I didn't know you were such a romantic though," he said, smiling broadly and making the room light up with the force of it.

"Okay then, let's order. You can choose a wine from the wine list cause I'm not good at choosing wine," I admitted as I skimmed through the menu looking for something nice to eat. Once we had both chosen what we wanted to order I called the waiter back over and told him.

He returned promptly, bringing with him a nice bottle of red wine, and poured us each a glass before leaving to serve another couple.

When the waiter had gone and we were alone again, Daniel leaned forward and smiled. "I'm glad you had the courage to ask me out, Jack. I don't think I would have been able to do it."

"I'm glad I asked you out too, it took me long enough," I laughed.

"So Jack," he leaned back into his chair again. "What prompted you to ask me out in the first place? I thought you were straight."

"I couldn't stand ignoring my feelings for you any longer, it was driving me nuts," I admitted, lowering my head to hide the blush that had slowly crept across my face. "I'm not straight, I've pretty much been interested in men my whole life. I've only ever been with one woman, which was my ex-wife Sara, but I've always been more attracted to men, however with my career path, being bisexual is not a good career move."

"You mean you haven't had a male lover since joining the Air Force?" Daniel asked in disbelief.

"No, I've had other male lovers, a couple of them were serious, but being military makes it harder to have a successful relationship and at that time I wasn't ready to give up the military. What about you? Ever had a male lover before?" I asked nonchalantly as the waiter brought over our meals.

"Um, no…I haven't, but I want to make a go of this. Once I realised I had…romantic feelings for you, I kind of freaked out a bit, I think. I'd never felt that way about another man before, I had never wanted to, but now that I'm over freaking out about it I really want to try this. I'm very attracted to you and it scares the shit out of me," Daniel explained, trying to hide his own blush that was spreading slowly over his face.

"That's ok. I wanted to take things slowly with you anyway. I don't want to stuff things up between us. You're my best friend, and if us having a relationship is going to mess that up I'll settle with being your friend. I can't lose that, it means too much to me, and to be honest I didn't know how you'd react. I hoped you felt the same but I could never work out if you did or not. So I took an educated guess on how you felt, and, it looks like I got it right," I grinned across at Daniel.

"Jack, nothing could change us being friends. Even if this," he gestured between the two of us, "Doesn't work out, you will always be my best friend." Daniel replied warmly then, realising what else I'd said added, "You knew how I felt about you?" Daniel asked horrified.

"No. I suspected. I sometimes caught you looking at me too long or touching me a little longer than necessary, nothing that would give you away, but then again I was looking for signs of whether you would be interested in me that way," I said as I finished off the remainder of my meal.

"Well, that's a relief then. I thought I'd been obvious," Daniel replied with a nervous laugh.

"Daniel, you were in no way obvious about how you felt. I had to take a wild guess at it and hope I got it right, and I was looking for it," I replied somewhat sarcastically. Trying to lighten the
serious mood a little.

"Jack, I'm kinda new to the whole dating a guy thing. I have no idea what goes and what doesn't. I mean, I'm pretty much going in blind here so, well, I guess, you're going to have to show me the
rope's so-to-speak," he told me nervously.

"That's okay. I'd be glad to show you the ropes. It's basically the same as if you were dating a woman. Just do what your comfortable with," I explained to him as I sipped at my wine.

"Okay, I'll, ah, keep that in mind. Though I never pictured you as a romantic."

"Yeah well, just keep mum about it, huh?" I hissed and he grinned and nodded so I continued. "You'd be surprised. I've always been romantic, or so I've been told."

"Well don't change. I like a bit of romance," he replied, a grin spreading across his beautiful face.

"I never pictured you as being gay. You've always been a tough, macho military guy. I never even entertained the thought that you might fancy other guys," Daniel commented.

At that I laughed quietly before replying. "Yeah, I've been told that too. For some reason people assume that to be gay you have to be some sort of wimp."

"Mmm. So, how did you realise that you were interested in guys rather than women?" Daniel asked me curiously.

"I was about 13, when I realised. All the other guys were interested in girls but they never did anything for me. When we got a new kid to the school I realised I felt something for him. I tried to deny it at first - I didn't want to be gay. I think I played the denial game for about two years, trying to pass it off as being a phase I was going through, but my feelings just kept growing. In the end I confessed to my mom about it. She was a children's counsellor. It helped a lot. She explained to me that my feelings were normal and that just because I liked the boys instead of the girls didn't matter, and she said how proud of me she was for admitting my feelings to her. She was very supportive of me, which I appreciated. It was a very hard time for me," I explained, looking up so I could see Daniel's face.

"I can imagine. It must have been great to have a mother like that. Did you ever tell your father?"

"Yeah, she's great. We've always had a close relationship. Dad on the other hand wasn't so supportive of me. I think I was nineteen when he found out. I was caught making out with my boyfriend. He hit the roof at the time but he's slowly come to realise that it's who I am and nothings going to change that. We weren't on speaking terms for about three years then mom managed to convince him I was still the same person I'd always been. Now we're closer than ever."

"It must have been hard seeing your father react that way."

"Yes it was, but I learnt to deal with it. Though I am glad he's finally seen some sense."

"Your parent's seem really nice."

"Yeah, they are," I smiled broadly. "They would love you as well. Come on, let's go back to my place for coffee," I said indicating towards the door.

"Sure. I'll follow you back in my car," he said.

We rose, tossed some notes to cover the bill and tip into the tray that the waiter had put on our table after our meal, and then left the restaurant side by side.

~~~~~~~~~

Once we were inside my house I put a CD on and went to make us both some coffee.

"I had a really great time tonight, Jack. I'm glad you asked me out. I'd like to do it again some time, that is, if you want to?" he asked me nervously.

"Yeah, I'd love to do this again sometime."

As we were talking a song began playing which I'd started thinking of as our song. The words just fit our situation and us perfectly. Whenever I heard the song I always thought of him, even if he didn't know it.

He was standing in front of my mantle place, swaying slightly to the music. I slowly eased myself in behind him and wrapped my arms about his chest, pulling him firmly against me.

As we rocked to the music we let the words flow around us.

One word, that's all was said.
Something in your voice caused me to turn my head.
Your smile just captured me.
You were in my future, far as I could see.
And I dont know how it happened, but it happens still.
You ask me if I love you, if I always will.........

"I can still remember the first time we met. You were this geeky archaeologist who I had an immense dislike for, until you saved my life by jumping in front of that staff blast. I wanted to die on that mission but you pulled me from the brink and made my life worth living again. After that mission when we returned to Earth I`d sit on my roof trying to find Abydos and wondering what you would be doing. I think I started falling for you a bit back then, but I wasn't ready to admit it to myself," I whispered into his ear quietly making him shiver as my breath gently caressed the skin of his neck.

Well, you had me from "Hello"
I felt love start to grow,
The moment that I looked into your eyes,
You won me, it was over from the start.
You completely stole my heart,
And now you won't let go.
I never even had a chance you know?
You had me from "Hello"

"You hated me, but the feeling was pretty mutual. I hated all you stood for: authority, discipline. You were a hard-assed military man following orders and never questioning whether they were right. But I soon realised all you had lost and I saw you in a whole new light. I saw you as someone I could help as well as being a potential friend," Daniel joined in my heart to heart, quietly turning his head so he was looking me in the eye.

Inside I built a wall,
So high around my heart,
I thought I'd never fall.
One touch, you brought it down.
The bricks of my defenses scattered on the ground.
And I swore to me I wasn't going to love again.
The last time was the last time, I'd let someone in.

"Yeah you're right. But after seeing what you did for a complete stranger, for someone who, for all intents and purposes, hated you, my defences weakened. You got under my skin and you stayed there. I couldn't stop thinking about you. Mind you, they weren't all good thoughts," I added wryly. "I think I started falling for you then but I basically told myself to ignore it while you were searching for Shau're," I confessed.

But, you had me from "Hello"
I felt love start to grow,
The moment that I looked into your eyes.
You won me, it was over from the start.
You completely stole my heart,
And now you wont let go.
I never even had a chance you know?
You had me from "Hello"

"Call me sappy, but ever since I first heard this song I've always considered it to be our song. It reminds me of you," I told him then hoped I haven't scared him off.

Thats all you said.
Something in your voice caused me to turn my head.
You had me from "Hello"
You had me from "Hello"
Babe, I've loved you from "Hello"

"Mmm, I can see how you would get that; it's a beautiful song. I guess it really is our song," he quietly whispered, gazing into my eyes. As the song drew to a close I leaned in and placed a chaste kiss onto his waiting lips.

I pulled back and looked for any sign of regret in his soulful eyes. Finding none, I leaned down again, pulling my soon-to-be- lover into a longer kiss full of promise, of what was to come. //

Part 5

Daniel, don't die. Since the day we got together I knew that you were the one that I would be spending the rest of my life with. I expected to grow old together. You are too young to die.

"Colonel, go and get some food and have a shower, please, while I check on Daniel?" Janet said, trying to point me out of her infirmary.

"No, I can't leave him," I protest, glaring at her for even considering trying to get rid of me.

"Colonel that look doesn't work on me and you can't be in the room while I check on him anyway. So if you won't go and get some food at least wait outside," Janet firmly chastised me, pointing me towards the door.

I decide there is no point arguing with her so I go and stand outside his room, trying to see what was going on inside.

Why won't you wake up Danny? You've been in a coma for three weeks and each day of that time has been a living hell. If you die and leave me by myself, I don't think I can go on. When Charlie died you were the one that made life worth living again. If you're not there what's left to live for?

God, it's been nearly three hours since the Doc kicked me out. What's going on in there?

`Colonel, why don't you take a seat while I gather the rest of SG-1 and General Hammond to the infirmary?' Janet requests as she comes out of Daniel's room.

I hate it when people tell you that. It always means bad news, and this is no different, I can tell by the look on the Doc's face. Oh, God. Please don't let him die.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Half an hour later General Hammond and the rest of SG-1 were gathered in Janet's office waiting to hear the news on Daniel's current medical status.

Once everyone is seated Janet begins her explanation of Daniel's condition.

"Daniel's been through a very traumatic experience. His latest test results indicate that there is currently no brain activity. While technically Daniel is still alive, without the aid of the life
support systems he is currently connected to, I'm afraid he would be dead."

"Doctor, is there anything that can be done for Doctor Jackson?" Hammond questions the doctor's diagnosis.

"I'm afraid not, Sir. Without the aid of the life support systems Daniel will die. The reason I'm telling you all this now is I thought it would give you the chance to say goodbye to him before
the life support is turned off. If, after that is done, he continues to breathe on his own we will take it from there. Basically Sir, nothing short of a miracle is going to bring Daniel back to us," Janet informs us, trying to keep her tone and manner as professional as possible given the circumstances.

"Very well, Doctor, keep me apprised. I have some calls to make. Let me know if there is any change in his condition," General Hammond orders, rising from his chair and leaving the overcrowded office.

"Don't you need permission from his next of kin to turn off the life support?" Sam asks, trying to prevent the tears in her eyes from falling.

"Yes, I do. Colonel O'Neill is his next of kin," Janet answers her.

"Can we go in and see him?" Sam asks, losing the battle with her tears.

"Yes, you and Teal'c can go and see him now while I talk to the Colonel," she says and silently ushers Teal'c and Carter out of her office.

I can't believe this is happening. He really is going to die this time. There isn't going to be any miracle cure this time. What's worse is this time I have to give the word that will signal the end
of my world. Without Daniel in my life, living won't mean a damn thing. If I tell Janet to flick that switch and turn that machine off how am I ever going to continue living? We were meant to be starting a life together, the two of us for the rest of our lives. To death do us part, and all that stuff. Now…now we will never get that. Never get the happily-ever-afters.

"Colonel, I need you to sign this form saying you give your permission to turn off the life support system," Janet interrupts me from my silent musings.

"How can you be so calm about this? Daniel is going to die and you expect me to sign a form to let you kill him?" I ask her in disbelief.

"Colonel…Jack, It needs to be done. Look, I don't want this anymore than you do but if it's not done he will be, for all intents and purposes, a vegetable for the rest of his life and in the meantime you are just causing yourself more grief by not letting him go. He is in no pain, Jack. He is clinically dead; the only thing keeping him breathing is that machine. By doing this you are only going to cause yourself more pain. Let him go Jack. Please!" Janet pleads with me, trying to convince me to turn the life support off.

"I can't live without him Janet! If I turn that machine off I'll die. I need him like I need air. I…I…just give me some time - let me think about it, please. It's a lot to ask of me," I reply, all
the while fighting away the tears threatening to fall down my face, but failing as a single tear escapes it's prison to fall down my cheek.

"Of course. But Jack, don't take too long, for both your sakes," she says as I leave her office to return to my bedside vigil.

I enter the room Daniel is in, checking to see if there is anyone else in there. There isn't so I make my way across the room to sit on the edge of his bed, getting as close to him as I could. Eventually I curl up on the bed beside Daniel, falling into a deep restless sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~

"Colonel, wake up," I hear the petite doctor beside me and she roughly jerks me awake.

"Yes," I say quickly before I have a chance to change my mind.

"Yes? Yes what?" she asks.

"Yes, you can turn the life support system off, on the condition that I…that I am the one that actually switches the machine off," I tell her, leaving no room for argument.

"Okay. I'll agree to that. You can, ah, you can do it whenever your ready, Sir."

"Okay. Can you make sure there are no visitors today?" I cautiously ask her. "I want to be by myself with him when I, you know, switch it off."

"I can do that. I'll make this room off limits to everyone today," Janet replies and grasps my shoulder, squeezing it firmly in a show of support.

"Thanks, Doc," I reply as Janet leaves the room.

~~~~~~~~~~~

God, Daniel. I love you so much. Please forgive me but Janet is right. I have to turn this machine off, even if doing so will kill me as well as you.

I quickly leaned over his body placing a firm but tender kiss onto his lips, before leaning across and switching off all the machines he was attached to. As soon as that was done I fell apart, crying while holding my beautiful lover to my body as I willed myself to die. Eventually I fell asleep holding him firmly against my chest, vowing never to let go.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I wake suddenly at a huge commotion of noise coming from just outside the infirmary. I had barely nodded off when everyone came crashing into Daniel's room with Jacob Carter behind them.

If General Hammond was surprised to find me in bed with Daniel he didn't show it.

"Colonel O'Neill, how long ago did you turn off the life support?" Janet asks anxiously.

I think for a second. How long had I been asleep? "About half an hour ago, I think. Why? What's all this about? Janet you said you would keep this room off limits?" I half asked half accused her.

"Colonel, I ordered her to let us in. Selmac believes she can heal Doctor Jackson with the Goa'uld healing device," General Hammond responds quickly and indicates for Teal'c to remove me from Daniel's bed.

"Please, I want everyone to leave while this is done," Selmac orders as she places the Goa'uld healing device onto her hand.

"I'm not leaving," I reply just as quickly and break from Teal'c's grasp after he had forcibly removed me from the bed.

"Very well, but everyone else must leave."

After everyone else leaves the room, Selmac quickly gets to work repairing the damaged tissue and reactivating the dead brain tissue. After what seemed like several hours of using the healing device, Selmac had healed Daniel.

"Why isn't he awake?" I ask, quickly fearing the worst.

"It will take several more hours before he has enough strength to regain consciousness," Before he left the room Selmac lowered his head and allowed Jacob to speak, `He'll be okay, Jack' Jacob said as he exited Daniel's room leaving Danny and me alone.

Oh, please live Daniel, please… You died on me again you sonofabitch. Please wake up so that I know you're all right. I whisper quietly to him words of love and encouragement, bringing his
fingers to my lips to place feather light kisses on them.

"Jack…where am I? What happened?" I hear the groggy voice question me and its owner gently squeezing my hand.

"Daniel? Oh, God, you're alive! I thought I'd lost you for good this time. You got hit by a staff blast and you're in the infirmary," I tell him and let the tears of relief and happiness fall freely down my face.

Daniel look's up at me through half lidded eye's saying in a soft, dry, voice "Am I all right, Jack?"

"Yes, Daniel, you're okay. Thanks to the very timely arrival of a certain snake friend of ours, and his toys." I reply adding in a hint of sarcasm to lighten the mood.

"I wouldn't have left you alone, Jack" Daniel say's sincerely looking up at me through his blue eyes.

"I love you, Jack," Daniel tells me, reassuring me.

"I love you too, Danny," I reply, leaning in and giving him a thorough kiss as the door opens and everyone enters the room. There are sounds of joy and relief coming from the door when they see that Daniel is alive, and then an embarrassed silence and averted eyes when they see his current position. I ignore them.

"I love you Daniel. And never do that to me again!" I say, laughing lightly with relief as I watch him quickly drift off into a peaceful sleep.

If I knew it was our last time
I'd see you fall asleep,
I would tuck you in more tightly,
and pray the Lord your soul to keep.

If I knew it was our last time
I'd see you out the door,
We'd hug and kiss,
and I'd call you back for more.

If I knew it was our last time,
I'd hear your voice in praise,
I'd record each action and each word,
to play them back day by day.

If I knew it was our last time,
I'd spend a moment or two
to stop and say "I Love You",
not assuming you know that I do.

If I knew it was our last time,
I'd be there to share your day.....
presuming I'd have many more,
so I let this one slip away.

For surely there's tomorrow
to make up for the oversight,
we always get a second chance
to make everything right.

There will always be another day
to say our "I Love You's",
and surely there's another chance
to say "What can I do?"

But just in case I might be wrong,
and today is all I get,
I'd like to say "I Love You ! ",
and hope we don't forget.

Tomorrow is not promised
to young and old alike,
today may be that last chance
I can hold that loved one tight.
If your waiting for tomorrow,
why not do it today?

For if tomorrow never comes,
you could regret the day,
you didn't take that extra time,
for a smile, a hug, a kiss,
and you were too busy
to grant their one last wish.

So, hold your loved one close today
and whisper in their ear,
tell them how you love them
that you'll always hold them dear.

Take time to say "I'm sorry",
"forgive me", "thank you",
"it's OK",
and if tomorrow never comes
there's no regret about today.



The End.

Authors Notes: Thank you all for reading this fic and I'm glad you got to the end. This is my first slash fic that I have done so I hope you all enjoy it. And I suck at endings so don't kill me. Well,
that's all I have to say except I would really appreciate any feedback you could give me. Thanx, Aussie Mel.

Credits for Songs and poetry used
All of these songs and poetry have been used without permission.

"He is More Than a Hero" by Sappho (translated by Mary Barnard)
"My Endless Love" by Lionel Richie and Diana Ross
"The Keeper Of The Stars" Tracy Byrd
"Love's Philosophy" by Percy Bysshe Shelley
"You Had Me From Hello" By Kenny Chesney
"If Tomorrow Never Comes" By Unknown Author