Title: Midnight Summons

Author: Rentgirl 2

Date: Nov 2003

Archive: A rousing yes to Area 52 and WWOMB, others just ask, we're easy.

Rating: NC 17

Pairings: Teal'c/Apophis

Category: Angst, Drama

Warnings: BDSM, Dark, Violence, Blood Play

Summary: The night before Teal'c's first encounter with SG1 he reflects on his life, his choices and his future.

Notes: This story, as are all my stories, is for Melodie, Rentgirl one. You run the website, format the stories and try to keep me in line. You are appreciated. You talked me into watching Stargate so I could see Jack and Daniel were as enticing a couple as Jim and Blair. I promptly fell for Teal'c. Just one more thing to thank you for.

Many thanks to the Betabunch, especially Star, Annette and Minz. You ladies keep my characterization honest, help me follow a timeline and attempt to turn my babble into English. We're thankful to have y'all.

Midnight Summons
by Rentgirl 2

"Teal'c?"

He heard the servant girl call his name from the door of his room. He wished to ignore her, wished to pretend he was not being summoned.

"Teal'c?" Her voice came from just above his sleeping pallet now. A soft hand timidly shook him. "Teal'c? Please awaken. Our Lord requests you to join him in his chambers."

It was no use. Continuing to feign sleep and therefore delaying an appearance to Apophis would only result in angering his master. The girl was not at fault. She did not deserve the punishment Apophis would so enjoy administering.

"I am awake." Teal'c swung his feet to the floor. "Leave me that I may dress and go to our Lord."

With an embarrassed sigh, she handed him a fine-spun silk robe. "You are to wear this only."

Heat rushed to his face. Was it not enough he knew what Apophis wanted with him this night? Did it have to be made known to the household staff?

"Very well," he said. He stood, unconcerned with his nudity, took the robe from her and went into the bathing area of his quarters. "You may go now."

As he quickly prepared himself for his Lord, he heard the girl scurry from the room.

Soon, he reminded himself, Apophis would once again have a queen and his demands on Teal'c would be lessened.

The Jaffa guarding the hallway to the royal chambers bowed their heads slightly as Teal'c walked passed them. They had great respect for him. Was he not, after all, the First Prime of Apophis? The commander of all Jaffa who served their God? Teal'c's fine reputation as a warrior was well known. He was a fair and just leader among his people and a steadfast servant of Apophis.

Teal'c understood the men lining the walkway did not consider this duty of a Jaffa to be shameful. Most envied him his close relationship with Apophis. Should a man not be honored to worship his God in any way his God wanted? The privilege of serving Apophis this way had many benefits indeed. Had not the most beautiful woman of their people been chosen by Apophis to be Teal'c's wife? Did he not possess a fine home for his family on Chulak? Was not a great deal of wealth entrusted to Teal'c's stewardship? Even here in the palace, Teal'c was one of the very few given private quarters.

He would trade it all to be an anonymous, ignorant soldier again.

Here, so close to his Lord, he had discovered the truth. Apophis was no God. Teal'c belonged soul and body to a cruel, selfish creature who was no more divine than any other creature in the universe.

Swallowing his revulsion, not only for Apophis, but for himself, Teal'c rang bell at the door of chamber to announce himself.

"Enter, Teal'c," Apophis commanded.

Flanked by four Jaffa, Apophis waited inside his sleeping chamber. Lean and elegant, draped in expensive linens and surrounded by fierce warriors, Apophis made, Teal'c decided, a most imposing figure. One Teal'c had seen in varying forms many, many times.

Knowing what was required of him, he made his way to Apophis. Bowing his head, he sunk to his knees. "You have sent for me, my Lord."

"Yes," Apophis answered. "Leave us," he spat at the Jaffa guards.

Teal'c's stomach cramped. His military training, his innate sense of dignity helped him to keep his inner anxiety well hidden. Like all Jaffa, he had learned from a early age that weakness was not to be tolerated. Weakness led to destruction and dishonor. Among his people the understanding that weakness and death were one and the same was so ingrained that the two held a single name-- kek.

The air was scented with incense and the smoke of oil lamps. He often wondered why the Goa'uld, with all the technology they possessed, chose to surround themselves with so much of the old ways. Perhaps the reminders of a simpler way and a simpler people pleased them.

"Teal'c," Apophis murmured, "show yourself to your God."

There was a time when Teal'c longed for this. A good-looking youth, his virginity had been preserved from the troops by Master Bra-tac as a possible gift for Apophis.

Once he had proven himself on the battlefield, he had been presented to Apophis. Many years later, he could still recall in vivid detail his joy at being taken by his God for the first time. The sexual pleasure Apophis had elicited from him, both then as a callow youth and now as a seasoned soldier, was sharp and unmatched. It sickened him and excited him in equal measure.

It also bound him tightly to Apophis. Even today there was no doubt he would die for his Lord. He was, however, no longer sure he could continue to kill for him.

Over the years, as he grew in physical strength and skill, Teal'c moved rapidly up the ranks. Apophis had occasionally sent for him during those days and Teal'c had come to crave the lean power of his lovemaking.

He had been warned from the beginning that although he had permission to enter another, no one other than Apophis could enter him. He was to be a vessel of pleasure for his Lord only. It was a vow freely given and easily kept. He had no desire for another's body inside him. That, too, shamed him.

Now, as First Prime, Teal'c was rarely away from Apophis' side. Since the demise of Ra, the midnight summons had become more frequent and Apophis' behavior during their time together more erratic.

Soon Amonet would be ready for her host. Soon, his presence would be less demanded by his master.

Still kneeling, he shrugged the robe off. His eyes downcast, he watched as Apophis' royal robes joined his own on the marble floor.

"Look at your God, Teal'c."

Teal'c raised his gaze slowly. His eyes hungrily took in Apophis' long, slender feet and legs, his large manhood, the compact musculature of his torso. At last he reached the arrogant, patrician face he knew so well. Despite his self-loathing, Teal'c's belly burned and his cock filled and lifted.

Apophis smile slightly. "What do you see?"

Even in the midst of Teal'c's obvious desire and submission, Apophis required worship. "I see a form most beautifully made. I am honored to even look upon you."

With a chuckle Apophis stepped closer and tilted Teal'c's face up. Slipping two fingers between the Jaffa's lips, Apophis carefully probed each tooth then the fragile, inner lining of Teal'c's cheek. "Your mouth is ever perfect. Use it to please me."

All men of Chulak were taught necessary skills from birth. They learned the traditions of their people, the legends of their Gods, the art of warfare and battle and, of course, all which was involved with their religion.

For some boys, though, those who like Teal'c had been blessed by the Gods with both beauty and intelligence, the teachings were more extensive. Their pleasing nature made them suitable to be in closer proximity to the Gods, so they learned to be more useful. They were tutored to read and write in several languages. They became skilled in mathematics and drawing. They were taught to use Goa'uld technology from opening the Chappa'ai to piloting. Anything to make their masters lives ones of ease.

And some Jaffa, those deemed the most desirable, the most clever, the most loyal, were steeped in the art of providing physical pleasure.

As he had been trained, Teal'c folded his hands behind his back and leaned forward. He moistened his lips with the tip of his tongue then slowly nibbling, slowing engulfing, made his way from the swollen head of Apophis' cock to the thick base. He stopped, allowing his throat muscles and tongue to massage Apophis to complete erectness.

Apophis smoothed his fingertips along Teal'c's tautly pulled mouth. "In all my millenniums, no mouth has ever felt such as yours." He moaned and flexed his hips.

With balance garnered from hours upon hours of practice, Teal'c remained still, allowing Apophis to plunge in and out of his throat with great force.

Teal'c well understood this game. There were times when their mating involved merely tenderness and mutual release, but those times were rare. More often, the tenderness and release came only after Apophis had feasted on his pain and humiliation. Apophis waited for him to give a reason, any reason, for the punishment to begin. Gagging was considered such an offense.

Long moments passed and still he remained a motionless receptacle. The sudden, sharp pinch of Apophis' grasp on his shoulders was at last his downfall. He swayed slightly. It was enough.

Slowly withdrawing from him, Apophis said, "Teal'c, why have you interrupted me?" The tone was soft, nearly mournful, but he knew if he were foolish enough to meet Apophis' eyes unbidden, he would see triumph.

This part of the dance, he knew, was the God's favorite.

Moving only his mouth, he answered. "It was not intentional, Lord."

"Intentional or not, the result is the same."

"Yes, my Lord."

"To interrupt your God's release is precariously close to heresy, is it not, Teal'c?"

"Indeed."

Apophis placed his hand under Teal'c's chin and forced him to look up. "And you are one of my faithful?"

"I am," he assured him.

Nodding, Apophis said, "Yes, you are. Perhaps my most faithful servant?"

"I strive to be, Lord."

Leaning down, Apophis pressed his lips briefly to Teal'c's. "I taste the truth on you, Teal'c. You are no shol'va."

"No, Lord."

"Still, breaking the laws set up by your God, whether one means to or not, merits some retribution."

"So it is taught."

Lust raced within him. Later, exhausted and filthy, he would pretend he did not wish for this. Later, as he lay alone and in pain on his bed, he would pretend he did not need this as greatly as an infant needs to nurse. For now, though, his very skin tingled in anticipation.

"Why do the people of Chulak verse themselves in the law, my faithful one?" Apophis asked, keeping a firm grip on Teal'c's chin.

"So we do not offend you. So our behavior shows our reverence for your desires."

"And did your behavior show me the proper reverence?"

"No, Lord."

"No," Apophis agreed. "However, you are a loyal servant, Teal'c. Perhaps this once I will show my generosity and excuse your mistake." He released Teal'c and turned away.

"Please, my Lord," he began, struggling to remain calm in body, to school the breathless excitement from his voice. To let anything but stoic dignity show during this phase of their play was unacceptable. Apophis could easily send him back to his own chambers. He had done so before, then savaged a servant girl in Teal'c's place. That was why, he lied to himself, it would be better for Apophis to keep him here. It was the duty of a Jaffa warrior to protect the women of their clan.

Apophis kept his back to him. "Speak, Teal'c."

"I am First Prime. My behavior must be held to an even higher standard than that required of most of your people."

The Goa'uld hesitated, as if considering the matter. "You may be correct. What would you have me do to right this wrong between us?"

Dread and thrill warring within him, he whispered his answer.

Apophis spun on his heel. "Say it aloud, Jaffa. Do not whisper what must be done. Or do you prefer this estrangement from me?"

"No, I do not prefer it." He bowed down until his forehead touched the floor then said in a clear voice, "Punish me as you deem fit, my Lord."

"Arise, Teal'c, and seek my forgiveness."

He stood up in a single, fluid movement and crossed the room to the Place of Reconciliation. Ignoring everything else scattered around him, he moved to the far corner. There, suspended from the ceiling, were two chains with leather looped simply at the ends.

Reaching up, he slipped his hands through the loops and twisted until the leather gathered at his wrists. As a youth, thick, locked cuffs had been necessary. It was a tribute to his rank and stamina that the leather was used now merely for support rather than restraint.

They both knew there would be no outward resistance.

He placed his feet about a meter apart so the leather held him in a loose, upright position. Apophis pressed his chest to Teal'c's back and began to whisper in the Jaffa's ear. "You do this freely?"

"Indeed." Apophis' body was hot and hard against him.

"I often wonder why," Apophis said as he slid his arms around Teal'c and caressed his chest.

"You are my God," he answered.

"Yes, I am the God of all, yet few have given themselves to me with such enthusiasm."

"I am privileged."

"You are," Apophis said, roughly pushing a cock ring over Teal'c's painfully erect penis, "but do you ever consider why you chose to do this? Why you want this?"

There were nights when he thought of nothing else. The mating was one thing. The punishment, another.

"You want this," Apophis said again.

He wished to deny it, but to do so was impossible. Already his breathing was quickened and his body was stretched and softened to receive penetration. The Goa'uld was not a God, but he was most surely the master of Teal'c.

"Do you give yourself out of fear?" Apophis mused as he stepped away. Teal'c involuntarily shifted back, trying to reclaim physical contact.

"Although I fear you, I do not give myself out of fear."

"Then respect, perhaps?"

"I respect you, however, I do not act out of respect alone." Although Apophis was out of his line of vision, Teal'c knew he was selecting an instrument of correction. He also knew if he were smart, if he had true control of himself in this moment, he would give Apophis the words. The longer he waited, the harsher the session.

He would wait. This was the essence of their power struggle. His refusal to give Apophis the words was the only weapon in his arsenal.

Besides, he was under the spell, the insanity of their mating.

The air whistled just behind and to the left of him. Apparently Apophis had made his selection. Teal'c gripped the leather tightly. Soon, it would begin.

"The first time I saw you, you were but ten summers old, Teal'c. Did you know that?"

Surprised, he shook his head. "I did not."

"You thought, perhaps, I knew of you only when Bra-tac presented you?"

"I believed that to be true."

Apophis began to circle him, dragging the tip of a Mat'gam, a strong, slender reed used for controlling beasts of burden, along Teal'c's torso.

"I had placed spies within the cities Kronos held in those days. Your father, as Kronos' First Prime, was one of many I kept under surveillance. You were like a lion's cub at his heels, still growing into your size and strength." Apophis stopped in front of him and traced the outer of edge of the pouch containing his Goa'uld symbiote. "You were still a few years from your primta. So young, so beautiful. Do you remember those days?"

"Very clearly."

"Do you think of them often?"

"Occasionally," he replied. He would never admit to Apophis how very frequently he thought of those days. It was a time as near to perfection as he had ever experienced. He had felt safe then, under the protection of his father, under the illusion his father was invincible. He had been innocent then, his heart and his conscience pure and clean.

He could never have predicted in those days he would need this purging to keep his sanity.

Apophis flicked Teal'c's nipple with the Mat'gam. The expert touch shot a line of fire from his chest to his groin.

"I nearly prevented your primta."

He fought to follow the thread of conversation. He wanted only for this coupling to begin, for the pain Apophis would inflict on his body to drown out the sickness in his soul. "Why would you wish to prevent my primta, Lord?"

"I considered you instead for a host."

Vomit, vile and bitter, threatened to erupt. Never before had he realized he had been close to being transformed into one of those he most hated. "A host?"

"Yes, my faithful one. A host. It would have been a wondrous gift to you."

Teal'c knew better.

If it was such an uplifting experience, why did the Goa'uld have to make use of the Jaffa to obtain potential hosts? Why did clans hide the most attractive of their children rather than push them forward each time the Chappa'ai was activated?

Why, in the moments it took the Goa'uld to establish control, was there only terror and grief in the eyes of the host rather than serenity and joy?

Too often when he closed his own eyes, he saw the faces of those he had herded like oxen before his master. He could hear their screams for help, the begging of wives and mothers for mercy, the crying of children he had helped turn into orphans.

The people of Chulak, as well as the peoples of a hundred other worlds, lived in fear and squalor under Apophis' rule. His own hands were stained in innocents' blood.

He could neither forget nor be forgiven for all he had done; the villages he had leveled, the crops he had put to the torch, the swath of death and destruction he had cut across the galaxy in the name of Apophis.

The niggling of guilt had been a quiet worm in his brain when he had been a true worshipper of the Goa'uld. Now that he understood they were merely parasites posing as Gods, his guilt ate hungrily at him. What excuse could he present now for his actions?

"I am overwhelmed you would have thought me worthy of being a host," he said at last.

Apophis cupped Teal'c's erection. "You are still beautiful, strong. Far superior stock to most I have seen." He began to slowly stroke Teal'c, causing a few drops of moisture to be released despite the cock ring.

"I thought to save you for my son."

"Your son?"

"At first. Then I thought to have you for myself, as my new host. Although, this body," Apophis indicated himself, "has served me well."

"And is most comely to gaze upon," he said.

Apophis smiled. "Thank you, my dear one. Its comeliness is the reason I chose it. But your form, even as a child, was so perfect, I longed to have it."

"Why did you not take it then, Lord?"

"Teal'c," Apophis chuckled, squeezing his penis firmly before releasing it, "I have taken it. Thousands of times." Apophis kissed his cheek. "I decided there were many ways to be inside you without taking you as my host. Many ways to experience pleasure with your body."

The Goa'uld slipped behind him again.

"Why do you come to me willingly, Teal'c?"

"You are my Lord," he answered, knowing it was not true, knowing it was not the answer Apophis wanted to hear.

A sigh of relief escaped him as the familiar sound of the Mat'gam sailing through the air reached him. The welcome bite struck him just below his left shoulder.

At last.

The initial dozen blows were given, as always, in silence and rapid succession. They were an annoyance rather than painful. The buzzing of a mosquito rather than the clawing of a tiger. That would come.

"Why, Teal'c?"

"It is my duty."

The next twelve were punctuated by a single word. "Why?"

He desired more. "Perhaps, my Lord, I do not know the reason."

"Why do you lie to me, dear one?" Teal'c could detect no anger in Apophis' voice.

"I am merely speculating a man may not always have a grasp of his own motivations."

He flexed slightly, testing the extent of his injury. It was still easy to discern the individual stripes the Mat'gam had left on his back. A good beginning but only that.

"You claim ignorance to your own motivations?"

Teal'c smiled, knowing Apophis could not see it. By withholding the words and employing careful taunting, he had sparked the Goa'uld's temper.

"Simply a statement of possibility, my Lord."

"You do not know why you come to me?" His growing outrage was clear. "You do know, Teal'c. You are acting like the ten-year-old you once were."

"Why would I choose to be childish?"

"Why indeed."

Six stinging blows to the back of his left thigh followed by six blows the right brought him up on the balls of his feet.

"Perhaps, my dear one, you are jealous."

"Jealous, Lord?" he asked, easing back to a relaxed stance.

" Amonet is being brought to the palace tomorrow. We have collected many desirable women in the past months. She is ready to choose her host. Perhaps you fear you will be usurped, Teal'c. Perhaps you think to punish me because it is time for my sister to take her rightful place as my wife and queen."

"Need I be concerned, my Lord?"

"What do you think, my own?" Apophis' silky tone did nothing to mask his anger.

Here was his opportunity to goad Apophis into losing control "I think I shall still be the one at your side during battle. I think I shall still be the one you will trust above all others." He hesitated momentarily then continued. "I think no Goa'uld queen would or could endure this, Lord. And I think you need it as much as I."

With a cry of fury, Apophis fell upon him.

The Mat'gam strikes were erratic at first, varying so greatly in strength and rhythm Teal'c could not find his escape. He lurched forward in the leather loops, grimacing as he waited for Apophis' initial ire to fade.

A particularly forceful blow to his hip burst into bright, wet pain. Blood had inadvertently been drawn. It was of no real consequence; his symbiote would speed his healing.

Only once had Apophis removed the symbiote before a coupling. It occurred the day, several months ago, when word had been received Amonet was close to maturity. It had been the only time he had truly feared for his life.

Apophis had been frantic and, in the end, Teal'c's injuries severe. The symbiote, left out longer than safe, had experienced much difficulty in its attempts to heal him.

Apophis had kept him sequestered in the private, royal chambers for a day and a half as the Jaffa and symbiote struggled to survive. He had spend much of that time drifting in and out of consciousness. The disturbing image of waking in a sarcophagus, Apophis' worried face hovering above him, was etched forever in his mind.

He was reminded then that Apophis' feelings for him ran deeper than was prudent. It was better to live on the periphery of a Goa'uld's attention, to be considered mere chattel. To become the recipient of a Goa'uld's affection opened a Jaffa up to be the future recipient of a Goa'uld's hatred.

No matter how sincerely a Jaffa attempted to please a Goa'uld master, a Jaffa was a fallible being. Inevitably mistakes would be made and the Goa'uld would view those errors as willful rebellion.

Teal'c understood well that the ones such as Apophis would destroy that which they could not possess.

More than one world smoldered in ruins as a testament to just that. He himself had assisted in the ruination.

Apophis' anger had burned itself out and the swing of the Mat'gam meeting his flesh was now in a steady pattern. Soon his mind would be able to glide away on the rhythmic waves of pain.

He and Master Bra-tac had spoken many times of the need for true rebellion and freedom from the Goa'uld. Bra-tac had counseled patience.

"I have waited nearly a lifetime, Teal'c. Our people will one day overthrow the Goa'uld. We will be their slaves no longer."

"When will the day come, Master? Will I, too, be required to wait a lifetime?"

"We are trained warriors, my friend. We can but prepare then watch and wait. When the opportunity presents itself, we will know. Pray we will be brave enough, strong enough to seize it."

Brave enough. Strong enough.

He wanted freedom. Freedom for his people. Freedom for his son. He wanted to live in peace, without the threat of tyranny.

He wanted Apophis to slip so deeply inside him that they would be as one.

Brave enough. Strong enough.

He hoped when the time came, he would find enough strength and bravery to leave his Goa'uld lover.

Apophis' slightly quickening breath chanted, "Tell me, tell me, tell me," with each blow now.

Finally, a solid wall of pain crashed into Teal'c and his mind sailed from his body.

He was a boy again, perched on one of the boulders in his mother's garden. The sun, dipping low in the late afternoon sky, was warm on his back and shoulders. Squatting on the grass near him was his father, whole and alive.

"An honorable man accepts responsibility for his actions. Remember that, Teal'c."

"I will remember, Father," he had promised in a high, childish voice.

"A soldier is still first and foremost a man, my son. Therefore, while a soldier does the bidding of his superiors, the man still carries the blame and burden of his actions."

"If our Lord commands it, is it not the right thing to do, Father?"

"Right for the soldier does not necessarily equal right for a man's soul."

"I do not understand."

"You will, Teal'c." His father had squeezed the small foot dangling closest to him. "You have much courage within you."

The tranquil garden of his childhood home disappeared.

Far in the distance, Apophis called to him. "Tell me, tell me, tell me."

No, he shouted, but knew no sound was produced.

Again, he heard his father's voice. "A soldier must live with the consequences of his choices."

"But a soldier merely carries out his orders."

"Indeed he does. However, even while carrying out orders, the man inside the warrior makes choices."

His mother's garden melted away and before him stood a crowd of villagers. Their extreme fright causing them to be uncooperative and they were scattered about the town square.

"Kill one so the rest will obey, Teal'c," Apophis had said.

The staff weapon, carried so often it was nearly an extension of his arm, had become a hateful weight to him. To chose the most desirable for host selection was difficult, but at least it provided a chance to continue living. To chose one to die had been nearly impossible. The impoverished men, women and children had attempted to flee as Apophis' edict echoed over them.

"Kill one now, Teal'c, or they will all be put to death."

As he had lifted his weapon, he spotted an older man leaning heavily on a makeshift cane. One leg was amputated. He had appeared the weakest, the most useless of the lot. One to die so the others would live.

"Teal'c, Kree," Apophis had commanded.

This, he had decided, was not an honorable battle. It was murder. He had fired.

A small boy had quickly knelt beside the fallen man. "Father, father," he had sobbed.

Teal'c looked away. Was he any better than the Goa'uld? Kronos had shown no mercy and had left him without a father. He had done the same to this nameless boy.

Nibbling at the corner of his consciousness was a voice calling to him. "Tell me, tell me, tell me." He ignored it.

Evening had come to his mother's garden. In the base of a small shrine to the Gods, a fire burned. Teal'c sat with his back to it so he could better see his father in the fading light.

"Inside a man dwells the light of truth. Someday, the light will illuminate the darkest of a man's desires. It requires much conviction of character to face the truth and turn from the temptation of desire."

"Why? Should a good man not want to seek out what is true?"

"In my experience it is not so much that a good man fears the truth, Teal'c, as it is a good man fears letting go of his dark desires." His father gave him an indulgent smile. "If evil were not pleasurable for the evil doer, a good man would not be tempted."

"Oh." The boy pondered for a moment, then asked, "Which desires are dark?"

"You are far too young now to be acquainted with most of them, but the day will come. Some dark desires are lusts for power, riches, sexual conquest."

The heat from the shrine fire became uncomfortably hot to the flesh of his back and Teal'c stood.

His mother's garden faded and again he could hear Apophis demanding, "Tell me."

Not yet, he retorted silently. Not yet.

He saw their faces then. The women he had recently abducted as possible hosts for his lover's sister/wife. The blonde warrior woman in her strange, green tunic. The sloe-eyed beauty from Abydos. A pair of stunning redheads from De'al. Three lily skinned girls from Jo'ris'rau. They, along with many others, pulled from the arms of their families, their homes, their lives, never to return.

The terror of those taken was great, but what of those left behind?

He would never love the woman he had been given as a mate. His heart was otherwise engaged. Still, she was a dutiful wife, a fine mother and an important part of his life. Her exemplary behavior reflected well on him.

Although he had no deep emotional attachment to her, how would he feel if he returned to Chulak to discover she had been carried off to be used as a host for another System Lord? Would there not be a huge void in not only his life, but that of his son? How did a man go on when he was married to a woman who was simultaneously alive and dead?

He had condemned the families of those women he had taken to that existence.

Truly, he was no better than the Goa'uld he served.

The coolness of full night had fallen on Chulak. He and his father huddled close to the garden's fire pit, warming their hands.

"There comes a day for every man, Teal'c, when a single choice can turn the course of his life."

"A single choice? This is good?"

"That such a time will come is neither good nor bad in itself, son. It simply is. The good or bad lay within the decision made."

"How will a man know?"

"A man will know, Teal'c, only when the time is at hand. For a split second, the future will be as a fork in the road. The two paths, the two possibilities so completely opposed to one another, there is no mistake a grave decision must be made." His father sighed. "Once the choice is made, his future is forever changed. There is no returning. Over the years, he will be able to look back and say with utmost certainty, 'There was my defining moment.'"

"Did such a moment occur in your life, Father?"

"Indeed it did."

When he would have questioned his father further, heat flushed through him. He must have stepped too close to the fire pit, he realized. Flames lapped at the hem of his tunic. Panicked, the boy beat at the cloth with his hands, succeeding only in spreading the fire. His scorched flesh swelled with pain and felt near to bursting.

Throwing back his head, he screamed.

A cloth soaked in cool, spiced water was pressed to his lips. He sucked greedily.

"You return to me, my love," Apophis crooned tenderly.

Teal'c gave a single nod. The lifting of his head, the bunching and relaxing of the hard muscles of his neck and shoulders, shot fresh pain through his back. His arms trembled with the effort of supporting his weight.

After carefully using the wet cloth to wipe the sweat and dried blood from Teal'c's face, Apophis asked, "Can you speak?"

His lips felt swollen. He ran his tongue over them gingerly, discovering the flesh jagged. No doubt he had bitten through them while holding back the words.

"My precious one, can you speak?"

"Yes," he replied as he shifted his feet in an attempt to ease the ever-increasing pressure of his trapped erection. The angry heat radiating from his groin rivaled that of his back and shoulders.

"Teal'c?" Apophis' voice, deceptively sweet, washed over him. "Will you not give me the words?"

Within his chest, his heart hardened. Though he might desire his master's affections, he held Apophis in contempt when it was offered.

"No," he answered. "I do not recall what it is you seek."

"Ah, Teal'c," Apophis sighed, his eyes glowing. "Why do you come to me? Why do you wish this? Tell me."

"If you know, my Lord, why do you not inform me? If you have words you wish spoken, why do you not speak them?"

Apophis threw the Mat'gam to the ground. It left a small, bloody trail as it skittered across the pristine white floor. "I wish only to hear it from your lips."

"Merely say the words, my Lord. Order me to repeat them and I shall. After all, no man would refuse to obey a direct commandment from his God."

Teal'c shivered as cold metal slid against his right side. He did not need to view the object to know it was a Er'past.

"As you well know, my love, I do not want the words given by my command." He balanced the Er'past a few inches in front of Teal'c's eyes. Even in the soft light of the sleeping chambers, jewels glistened in the ornate, serpent-shaped handle. A small, sharp dagger used in religious ceremonies, the Er'past was an instrument of ritual blood letting.

Apophis laid the flat side of the blade against Teal'c's torn lips. The cool metallic tang mingled with the salt of his own blood was oddly soothing.

"The words mean nothing to me unless they mean something to you, my love." Apophis replaced the blade with his lips, kissing Teal'c deeply. "Give me what I desire," he said, "and I will give us that which we both long for." He briefly ground his erection into the sweat drenched skin of Teal'c's thigh.

"I have nothing to say," Teal'c answered.

"I see." Apophis placed the Er'past's tip just under the leather strap encircling Teal'c's right wrist. "That is most regrettable."

Teal'c gritted his teeth as the blade scored the tender flesh of his inner wrist. Apophis dragged the Er'past down slowly, opening a shallow groove in his skin from wrist to elbow. The sting of air and sweat hitting the open wound caused Teal'c to gasp.

"Too much, my precious one?"

"No more than the scratch of a branch," he answered.

"Ah," Apophis said as he began to cut a second line, parallel to the first. "So much discipline in you, my dear one. One of the many reasons I keep you close."

The third cut was a bit deeper and Teal'c felt blood rise up in it. The fourth was deeper still and he watched with morbid fascination as the drops spattered against the marble sheets of the floor.

Faster and faster the blood fell, like tears.

As tears had streamed down his mother's face on the day Kronos had murdered his father.

His mother had always conducted herself with great dignity. She had shone as an example for the wives of the lesser Jaffa of Kronos. To see her weeping as they fled to Chulak, to see her bowed over with grief as they hid in the refugee camp, had frightened him. True, in less than the blink of an eye, his place in the universe had changed, but that did not cause him panic. Only the sight of mother, near to breaking in sorrow, had threatened to bring him to the brink of terror. For her sake he had attempted to appear stoic and strong when in reality he was no more than a fatherless, homeless, godless boy.

Master Bra-tac and his family had taken them in.

Under his encouragement, the two had pledged their lives and loyalty to Apophis.

Late one night when Teal'c should have been sleeping, he had overheard his mother talking with Master Bra-tac. Her voice had been thick with tears.

"What of Teal'c? He is without status and without position on this world."

"Do not concern yourself, woman." Bra-tac had answered. "Teal'c is strong and brave. He will make his own place in our world."

"Will he?"

"With my help and guidance, yes."

"Thank you, Master Bra-tac." She had hesitated a moment, then asked, "Why did Kronos do this thing? We have been taught since childhood that we may not know the minds of the Gods, but my husband was a devoted First Prime. He served not only out of duty, but out of love. Why would his God reward his loyalty this way?"

"Perhaps the Gods are not all they seem. Perhaps the order in the universe is not what we have been shown."

"I do not understand," she had said.

"In time," Bra-tac had replied, "many things will be made clear. For now, you need only know you and your son are safe and will be cared for."

"We are in your debt." She had buried her face in her hands and had begun to sob in earnest.

Teal'c had squinted in the darkness, trying to make out the features of her beloved face. He had wished to reach out to her, to comfort her, but he could not.

He had wanted to reassure her, to tell her he would be the one to protect her, that he would succeed, but only a soft groan came out as the pain in his arms flared up.

"So deliciously alive," he heard Apophis whisper as the Goa'uld began to carve Teal'c's left arm to match his right. "Tell me now, sweet one. Tell me."

Apophis faded from his view once more. Teal'c had squatted with Bra-tac near a campfire.

"Forget her, Teal'c. She is marked for priesthood in the Temple. There will be no room for a husband in her life as there is no room for a wife in yours."

"You are saying I shall never marry?"

"I am saying you must devote your energy to becoming the most proficient of warriors. Have you not told me you wish to serve as the First Prime of Apophis?"

Blushing, the younger man had ducked his head. "I was both bold and presumptuous to say such a thing, Master Bra-tac. You are the finest First Prime to ever serve our Lord and you shall continue to serve for many years to come."

Bra-tac had laughed. "I will continue to serve, yes, but do not dismiss your own worth. You will indeed be First Prime one day if you commit yourself completely."

Torn, Teal'c had asked, "What of love, Master? I believe I love this woman."

"What of love, Teal'c? Do you think love takes precedence over all things? She will be a priestess. Whether she loves you..."

"She does," he had interrupted.

"Or does not," Bra-tac had continued, "is inconsequential. What of duty, Teal'c? What of honor? What of obligation to one's people? Is love not meager in the face of these?"

"I am not sure," he had answered honestly.

"You feel a fire inside you for this woman?"

"Indeed."

"It is the flame of youth, of lust." When Teal'c would have interrupted again, Bra-tac had raised his hand. "Kree, Teal'c. This same fire can consume you. It can distract you from the greater purpose you are destined to fulfill."

Teal'c had looked around them. None of the other Jaffa warriors were camped close enough to overhear their conversation.

"What greater purpose?"

Bra-tac had shaken his head. "The time for revelation is not yet upon us. Everything in its own turn, Teal'c. First, become a powerful warrior. Second, prove yourself so you might find your place in Apophis' personal guard. From there your goal will be within your grasp."

He had been silent for a long moment. "It will be most difficult to put her aside."

"You are a man fully grown, Teal'c. Many of your decisions from this point to your death will be difficult. You must lead your life as a commander leads his men into battle--with your duty, your training, your experience, your ultimate goal firmly planted in your mind." Bra-tac had tapped his forefinger over the center of Teal'c's chest. "To lead with your heart, your emotion, your lust will bring only your downfall."

"I cannot help but think a life where duty and honor is all will be a most barren one."

"Lavish your love on your sons and daughters when they come." He had given Teal'c a teasing grin. "Give your affection to your apprentices." In an instant Bra-tac had turned serious. "Be warned, Teal'c. If you are fool enough to allow this kind of emotion to dominate your life, there will come a day you will be forced to choose."

His heart, hopeful when he had come to his Jaffa Master for counsel, had begun to ache dully within him.

"Choose?"

"Between the one you believe you love and your duty to your people. Duty must always come first. No single individual is of greater worth than the well being of our race, Teal'c. Do you understand?"

"My duty must come before all."

"That is correct."

And he had known it was.

The dull ache supernovaed into brilliant white suffering.

"You are so deliciously alive," Apophis repeated. Using the Er'past, he deeply pierced the dark, firm flesh just above Teal'c's left nipple. When the wound flowed freely, Apophis removed the knife, placed his lips over the puncture and began to suck. After several minutes, he lifted his head, his lips stained bright red.

The Goa'uld delicately licked all traces of blood from his mouth before his spoke again. "To have you this way, to drink the warmth that flows through you, to taste your mortality, fills me with youth again, my dear one."

The wonder in Apophis voice was nearly Teal'c's undoing.

"I am glad, my Lord."

"There is no one here save us, Teal'c. Will you not give me a token?"

Hanging from the ceiling, his body dripping with sweat and blood, he gave Apophis a tender smile and a morsel of that which the Goa'uld so greatly desired. "I am glad, my love."

The blinding smile Apophis gifted him with stole Teal'c's breath away. Apophis was certainly the most beautiful creature he had ever looked upon.

When the moment arrived, and he knew it would, how would he ever choose between this mercurial, enigmatic lover and his duty?

"Drink from the life within me, my precious one," Apophis said, slicing open the first and second finger of his left hand and placing them in Teal'c's mouth. "I taste of that which is as ancient as the Chappa'ai while you are young like morning."

Teal'c allowed the slick, sweet wetness to coat his tongue. Gently at first, then with greater enthusiasm, he suckled. When the fluid slowed, he nibbled at the clean edges of the cuts to restart the bleeding and continued to drink.

As he had from the first time, Teal'c delighted in its flavor. It was old and rich and complex. It made him think of the desert and the pyramid of Abydos. It made him think of the stars, fixed and forever in the night sky. It made him think of foolish things such as love and permanence.

Not once did it remind him of duty or honor.

"Drink deeply, my love," Apophis whispered against his neck. "Let us be as one."

Teal'c squeezed his eyes shut, savoring the last few drops he could coax out. As always, it was wonderfully intoxicating.

As he licked the fingers lodged in his mouth, he recalled the first time he had shared blood and the words with the Goa'uld. A few nights before he was to marry the woman selected for him, he and Apophis had coupled violently. It was their usual custom to rest comfortably with one another after such mating.

Sex moistened sheets tangled about them, Teal'c had been close to sleep when Apophis had spoken.

"You are satisfied with her, Teal'c?"

"Indeed. You have been most generous, Lord. She is a fine woman. She will bear me many strong sons to serve you."

"So, you find her beautiful?"

"Yes, Lord."

"And?" The sharp edge of Apophis' tone had pulled Teal'c from his somnolence.

"And?" he had repeated, unsure of what the question implied.

"You find her beautiful. Is she merely physically attractive?"

Believing his error had been in not appearing sufficiently appreciative for the woman Apophis had gifted him with, Teal'c began to list her attributes. "No, my Lord. She is certainly more than physically attractive. She is clever and resourceful with funds and obviously well trained in the womanly arts."

"The womanly arts?" Apophis had risen from the bed and began to pace in front of it.

"She is a most excellent cook and seamstress. She has already made the dwelling you graciously supplied for us most comfortable with things she has crafted."

"So, she is beautiful. She prepares food well and has made your home welcoming."

Not comprehending the Goa'uld's growing agitation, Teal'c had answered earnestly. "Indeed. I am most grateful for her."

Apophis had stopped his pacing to tower over the still reclining Jaffa. "What other womanly arts has she mastered and performed for you?"

"I do not know what you speak of."

"Do you not?" Apophis had backhanded him, splitting wide his bottom lip.

"What have I done to displease you, Lord?"

"You play the fool, Teal'c, and try my patience."

Teal'c had waited quietly. He had watched the blood from his mouth splash against his naked thigh.

"Womanly arts?" Apophis had snarled. "Has she shown you the womanly art of spreading her legs and accepting your seed?"

"Lord," he had protested, "I would never dishonor you so. You selected a woman of rare purity for my bride. I assure you, her virginity is intact and shall remain so until the vows are spoken."

"You lie."

Teal'c had sat upright on the edge of the bed, bunching the linens in his fists. "Who has brought these false accusations against me? Tell me that I might force the truth from them."

"No one need tell me what is in plain view of the eye. Am I to think you have not sampled this paragon of womanhood? She has lived within the walls of your home for a week while waiting for the wedding. Am I an idiot? Am I to believe you have not bedded her?"

In that moment, as Apophis stood before him, rage in the very angles of his feline beauty, the foundation of Teal'c's universe had been shaken. Two things had become apparent to him.

First, Apophis was not omnipotent. Bra-tac had often given veiled references that the System Lords were not Gods. Teal'c had steadfastly ignored his Jaffa Master's insinuations. Now though, it was impossible. Surely a true God would know the woman's innocence was preserved. Surely a God who was in such close proximity would know he was speaking the truth. If Apophis could not see something so simple, so straightforward, how would he know the activities taking place worlds away? How could he read the hearts and minds of many, when he could not discern the heart and mind of the one closest to him?

Second was the realization that his God was intensely jealous of the woman Teal'c was about to marry.

The Goa'uld's were jealous Gods, demanding lavish, extravagant attention. The jealousy Apophis was displaying was, however, not that of a God and his subject. This was the jealousy one mate held for another. The jealousy one's lover takes care to hide.

Teal'c was suddenly lightheaded, part in fear, part in joy.

If Apophis was not the God he purported to be, then where was his own place in all of this? What of the distasteful, foul acts he had performed in the name of his Lord?

As a soldier and as a man he had given his single-minded devotion to Apophis. Early in his career he had rejected his father's council to view each action through the eyes of a warrior and the heart of a man. Ambition, all-consuming ambition, had been his only guide.

Once he had assumed the duties of a Personal Guard, he had continued to turn from his father's wisdom because of his growing attachment, physical and emotional, to Apophis. Although Teal'c had always understood the futility, the sheer stupidity of falling in love with this Man/God, he had allowed himself to do so.

As the years had passed, he had been careful to keep secret his burgeoning emotions. Who was he, after all, to dare covet the love of Apophis?

Yet three days before he would take a wife and promise fidelity, he had seen there was a possibility Apophis felt as he did. That the affection they shared was more than a God's for his creation or a leader for his right hand man. That the couplings they shared held as a great a significance for Apophis as they did for him.

Apophis had crouched before him, pulling him from his musings. Teal'c had watched in fascination as Apophis dipped his fingertips in the small puddle of blood that had gathered on his thigh.

"This is the life that courses through you, Teal'c," Apophis had said as he licked his fingers clean. "So sweet." He had touched Teal'c's mouth, coating his forefinger in the blood he found there. "Do you see?" he had asked, holding the red, wet digit up. "This is your essence, dear one. Unique from every other of your kind, yet still the common thread that binds your people together."

Apophis had pressed his finger into Teal'c's mouth. "Know what I know. Taste what I taste. Understand what you bring to me."

He had sucked obediently, but all he had detected was his own salty, copper blood.

"Do you began to comprehend, Teal'c? The vigor, the strength of the very young which is within you?"

"I taste only my blood, my Lord," he had answered.

"Ah." The Goa'uld had appeared vaguely disappointed, then had brightened as though an idea had occurred to him. "Perhaps you are merely immune to your own appeal."

Apophis had straddled Teal'c's lap. Using his thumbnail, Apophis had pressed his own inner wrist until the thin skin gave way and blood had risen up and begun to seep. "Drink, precious one, and see if you can discern between us."

Without hesitation Teal'c had latched onto Apophis' self-inflicted wound and began to suckle.

It had not been the salty copper of his own blood. Rather, it had been sharp and full and had hinted of the everlasting.

"Now do you see, Teal'c?" He had nodded, unwilling to relinquish his mouth's hold on Apophis' flesh. "You bring me that which none other has before. You please me greatly."

Since the blood had ceased to flow, Teal'c had released Apophis' wrist and spoken. "I am honored to be able to gift you with pleasure, my Lord."

Apophis had settled more comfortably on Teal'c's lap, trapping their bobbing erections between them. "You bring me more than pleasure. You bring me some measure of peace."

Awed and terrified, Teal'c had not spoken. This was, he had understood, as close to an admission of love as he would likely ever receive.

Dangerous words, perhaps even lethal, but he would treasure them just the same.

Apophis had gnawed carefully on his lover's bottom lip. "You are exquisite." He had leaned back to look into Teal'c's face. "Do you imagine for even one moment that your bride will give you what I am capable of giving you?"

He had not been sure what Apophis was truly asking for, but he knew his Master was not referring to riches nor power nor glory.

"Do you think, even for an instant, this woman, no matter her beauty, no matter her skills, will ever satisfy you as I have?"

Likewise, he had known his Master was speaking of more than the razor sharp anticipation before their mating, more than the incredible sexual release between them, more than the splendor of the moments spent together after their coupling.

"Do you truly believe she will ever be to you what I have been to you?" Apophis had pushed at his shoulders until Teal'c was supine beneath him. "Is it possible you dream your vows of fidelity to her will allow her to take my place?" Apophis had dipped his tongue into Teal'c's mouth for a moment, then continued. "Have you deluded yourself that filling her body will adequately substitute for the pleasure of me filling yours? Do you think all the hours you will spend rutting on her will allow you to forget what was shared between us? Do you?"

Reassurance, Teal'c had marveled to himself. Apophis had been seeking reassurance. Reaching up to cup his Master's face, Teal'c had given the words for the first time.

The bitter sting of suffering and Apophis calling his name brought Teal'c back to the present.

The Er'past was no longer in the Goa'uld's hand. "Enough?" he asked Teal'c, his voice nearly vibrating with excitement.

"Indeed." He sounded weak, weary to himself. Clearing his throat, he tried again. "It is enough."

He tried to pull his hands free of the leather restraints, but his muscles were too stiff and cramped to comply. Apophis watched him struggle for a moment then released the loops.

Teal'c stumbled forward, landing on his knees with a sharp crack.

Apophis knelt next to him and whispered, "Rise and come to my bed, my love."

Twice he attempted to stand, but to no avail. There was no strength, no grace left in his battered body. Shaking his head, he answered, "I cannot."

Apophis studied him carefully, as if to gauge the truth of his words. "Cannot or will not?"

"Cannot."

"Give me the words and I will help you."

It was time, Teal'c knew.

The lion's portion of the night had already been squandered inflicting and accepting pain. It was time.

Yet, as he slid a covert glance over his lover, taking in the smooth satin of the Goa'uld's unblemished skin, knowing his own sagged with torment and exhaustion, the words lodged tightly in his throat.

Why was it only here, when they were stripped of everything save their mutual suffering, that any tenderness could be verbalized? The fact that Apophis bestowed on him a penance he gladly accepted before each confession of affection merely underscored the abomination that existed between them.

This was not what love was supposed to be. He knew that as surely as he knew his own name. This bore no resemblance to the love his parents had shared nor the love he had once held for a young girl waiting to enter the priesthood.

This was not a love that promised comfort nor stability nor a future. This was not a love to be declared to others nor acknowledged in the light of day.

This love was sordid, sorrowful. It was an aberration. It was nothing that he had wished for or imagined.

And yet it was more than he had ever dared to dream for. It was blazing passion and all consuming. It was undeniable and inevitable. He had been bred and born to it and it colored every breath he drew.

Long ago he had accepted his destiny was out of his hands. Someday, his time with Apophis would come to an abrupt end. Someday, he would be separated from the one who had grown to be more precious to him than life. Someday, his duty to his people would drive him from his lover's side.

And long ago he had accepted that no matter where fate took him, no matter what he would do in the name of honor and duty, he would spend the rest of his days, indeed all of his eternity, loving Apophis.

"Tell me."

He wanted to. He was as anxious to say the words as Apophis was to hear them. He had hoped the punishment would quench the thirst of desperation that had been growing between them for days. It had not. Perhaps the words would. Originally he had attributed the gnawing sense of unease to Amonet's impending ascension to the throne. He was no longer so certain.

"Teal'c," Apophis warned.

Truly, he desired to utter the words and put an end to this horrible and necessary game, but his tongue was weighted down with unexplainable grief.

"Damnation upon you," Apophis cried in frustration. He grasped Teal'c by the back of the neck and hurled him face first to the ground. Teal'c's vision grayed about the edges briefly then blackness descended.

The snow had crunched beneath his feet as he ran to find Bra-tac. Flushed with pride when he had at last come upon his Jaffa master near the edge of a clearing, Teal'c had displayed the golden seal of Apophis now stamped on his forehead.

"I am First Prime," he had shouted, his usual decorum swept away by his boyish joy.

"So I see," Bra-tac had answered quietly. The lack of enthusiasm in Bra-tac's voice, the censure in his eyes, had brought Teal'c to an ungainly halt.

How foolish he had been, how blind. In his desire for Apophis' blessing and approval he had allowed himself to be distracted from the greater purpose Bra-tac had hinted about. He had refused to examine either Bra-tac's words or Apophis' actions too closely. That winter day in the woods, far from the eyes and ears of his God, Teal'c truly opened his mind to all that was happening around him.

The old Jaffa's parting words to him had haunted his soul through the years. When he had least expected it, Bra-tac's voice would wash over him, forcing him to reevaluate when he would have chosen not to.

"Men such as you and I," Bra-tac had said, "have only the comfort of times we have made a difference. Make a difference, Teal'c."

As the blackness gave way to Apophis' chambers, he admitted to himself he had done precious little to make a difference. Even if he could find the strength to turn from Apophis, he had yet to find any race or warriors fierce enough to help him rise up against the System Lords.

Cold seeped into the left side of his face and upper torso. His vision was still somewhat unfocused. His already sore knees supported the weight of his upraised hips and spread legs.

"Since you refuse to give the words and therefore scorn my assistance," Apophis said, kneeling behind him, " I shall take you here, like the dog you stubbornly emulate."

Apophis' hands scorched Teal'c's flesh as he roughly separated the cheeks of his buttocks and pressed his thumbs into his oiled entrance.

"You prepared yourself for me, Teal'c. At least one disappointment is averted." Pulling his thumbs apart to stretch Teal'c, Apophis poised the head of his cock between them at the Jaffa's opening. "I offer you a final opportunity, my love. Make this easy."

By all that is sacred, he tried. His mouth opened and closed several times but only blood-tinged saliva came forth.

With two deep, painful stabs, Apophis impaled him. Teal'c sprawled forward, finding no purchase with which to steady himself on the smooth floor made slick with his sweat and blood.

His forward lurch pulled Apophis out of his body.

In silence, the Goa'uld wrapped his arms around Teal'c's waist, lifting him up and back so that he was cradled against his chest. Apophis stood gracefully and moved across the room to the sleeping pallet, holding the huge Jaffa as if he were no heavier than a sleeping child.

Teal'c was gently arranged on the pallet, his belly flat upon the satin sheets, his legs over the edge, kneeling on the floor. He offered no resistance when Apophis spread his thighs and settled between them.

"Do you grow feeble, precious one? Or is holding your tongue merely a ploy? A way to defy me while still enjoying the power of my staff?"

He moaned aloud as Apophis roughly shoved back inside him. There was no pleasure for either of them in the harsh, rhythmless pounding that followed. The purpose was not pleasure, but affirmation.

Affirmation that he belonged wholly to Apophis. Affirmation that he would allow, indeed welcome, anything Apophis wished to do to him. Corporeal affirmation of what Apophis longed to hear from Teal'c's lips.

Teal'c bit hard on the fabric beneath him to keep from screaming out in protest as the brutal rutting increased in intensity. The painful burning in his gut surpassed that of his back. Apophis' fingers clawed cruelly at his hips and his ringed erection was being rubbed raw against the smooth material covering the pallet.

He knew this could go on indefinitely, would go on indefinitely, if he did not speak up.

The merciless assault might have continued for hours had not one particularly deep and savage thrust finally loosened the words within him.

"I am yours," he managed to whisper.

Above the grunts and moans coming from both of them, Teal'c's soft acquiescence rang out clearly. Apophis stilled immediately and waited.

A moment later Teal'c said again, "I am yours, my love."

As Apophis withdrew, Teal'c felt a trickle of wet warmth follow. He was not overly concerned. Some bleeding was not uncommon in their coupling and although injured, he knew the damage was not life threatening.

Hands that had been hurtful just seconds before now tenderly turned and supported him until he was supine on the cool sheet.

On a burst of energy he did not know he still possessed, Teal'c spread his legs wantonly and Apophis eagerly climbed into the cradle of his thighs. Apophis leaned close over him, bracing his weight on his elbows at either side of Teal'c's body. Teal'c pushed up slightly to capture Apophis' mouth in soft, quick kiss.

"The words, precious one. Each and every one of them."

Teal'c would have welcomed death in that moment.

In this perfect moment when there was no madness between them, no insane desire to rip each other apart, no pressure of the crown, and no call of duty. He would have gladly laid down his life here and now while there were no specters of the past, no fears for the future, no obligations to others, and no sense of honor to plague them.

With open arms he would have entered eternity. Here, where there was no struggle between right and wrong, no fight to follow his head instead of listening to his heart, no jealousy to beat against, and no memories to cloud his thoughts.

In this moment there stood only the sweet hum of anticipation, only the delightful tug of yearning, only the razor edge of the precipice they would soon plunge over. Here stood only the two of them and, shrouded in pain and arousal, the love they shared.

"Teal'c?"

He touched his lips to Apophis' again, using the moment to savor the fullness of his lover rocking within him, the fullness of his own cock aching for release, the fullness of his heart threatening to overflow.

"Teal'c," Apophis breathed across his face.

Much like a schoolboy would recite his lessons, Teal'c began the oft repeated litany. First given the night before his wedding, it had grown over the years, expanding to encompass the benchmarks in their lives, affirming their places in one another's existence.

It began in the beginning.

"There is none among the Gods greater than you, Apophis. Your strength is purer, your power sharper, your position more deserved." Beneath the words, they both knew he was telling Apophis that although he had worshipped Kronos as a child and as an adult he had seen many wonders of the other Goa'uld, Apophis was his God, not only by fate but by choice.

"There is no woman ever born who could give me contentment and fulfillment such as you do, my love. There is no lover as pleasing or skillful. I desire you above all others." Beneath the words, they both knew Teal'c was telling Apophis that no one, no woman, no man, not even a cherished wife, could be more sexually satisfying or exciting to him.

Apophis slipped his hands under Teal'c's legs and hooked them around his waist. With the Jaffa's body more open and accessible, Apophis increased the length and depth of his strokes.

A moan fell from Teal'c's lips at the delicious sensation.

"And," Apophis prompted, his breathing noticeably heavier.

"No one, living or dead, will ever be dearer to me than you, my love. Your place is unequalled in my heart. No one can usurp you." These words were first uttered the day Teal'c's son was born. Beneath the words, they both knew Teal'c was telling Apophis that no one, not father, not mother, not wife, not child, would ever be as important to or loved as deeply by Teal'c as Apophis was.

Apophis tilted Teal'c's hips up higher, sending a splash of nearly blinding ecstasy through him with each downward plunge. He lost his place in the recital when Apophis reached between them to briefly caress his imprisoned cock.

"Ah, my love." Apophis withdrew his hand, now glossy with Teal'c's precome. He sucked his fingers clean then kissed Teal'c deeply.

Teal'c was grateful his erection was ringed, otherwise the feeling of Apophis moving within him combined with the taste of his own seed on his lover's tongue would surely have brought him to orgasm. As it was, his cock merely leaked and pulsated with need.

"The rest, precious one," Apophis panted. "Give me the rest."

"Even should I die, I will not be parted from you. Even death will not be able to keep my soul from searching you out. I will not cross into the after life without you." These words were said for the first time after a particularly horrific battle. The army had been victorious, but Teal'c had been severely injured. To forfeit one's life in the service of the Gods was considered a most high honor among the Jaffa, but Apophis had been greatly distressed when Teal'c had collapsed before him on that day.

The words, all comfort and promise and reassurance, were completed. There were no more to give.

Teal'c rolled his hips forward, expecting the cock ring to be removed so they could obtain satisfaction together. Instead, Apophis pressed fully into him and waited.

"And?" Apophis asked.

Shifting his legs, Teal'c attempted to bring his cock into full contact with Apophis' belly. Apophis ceased Teal'c's efforts by firmly grasping the Jaffa's hips.

"And?" Apophis repeated.

Teal'c bit back a groan of exasperation. He had answered his lover's summons, penance had been well and truly dispensed and the words had been spoken. He was at a loss.

"What more, my Lord?"

Apophis continued to stare down at him in silence.

So, he was to find the answer on his own. The Goa'uld chose not reveal his kek, his weakness, to him.

Then he remembered what dawn would bring: a journey to Chulak and Amonet's selection of a host. The morning would bring yet another shift in their lives, yet another opportunity for the carefully constructed bond they shared to be shattered.

Apophis needed to be reassured that things would remain unchanged after his queen took her rightful place, but would they?

As much as his Lord might want all to remain the same, Teal'c feared it would not. He was not a man to put faith in the mystical, prolonged proximity to Apophis had cured him of that, but it was impossible to deny the lightening-like charge that trembled around him or the vague scent so reminiscent of battle permeating the air.

Teal'c was restless, wanted to paw at the earth like an animal coming into season. The sense of impending change was all around him. He could not explain it, but it was true nonetheless.

He could not promise he would always be at his lover's side. He could not promise he would be there should Apophis need him. He could not even promise he would answer the next midnight summons his master issued. It was impossible.

Some things, however, would never change. Some things were carved on a man's soul. Some things were inevitable and unavoidable.

These were the things he could promise.

These were the bits of truth he could offer Apophis in the name of love and affirmation.

Gathering his thoughts, picking his words carefully, he skimmed his fingers across the indentation of Apophis' spine, enjoying the freedom to touch the bare skin he craved so.

"Teal'c?"

He spoke slowly, committing each word to memory, not only so he could repeat them verbatim to Apophis the next time, but also so he could hold them in his heart.

"It does not matter if you claim another as your rightful mate. It does not matter how vast a distance may divide us or how many choices stand between us. It does not matter if the fates conspire to drive us along separate paths."

He ran his tongue across Apophis' lips, attempting to wipe away the confused expression on his lover's face.

Then he continued. "Nothing matters save you are forever within me. I shall carry you with me until the end of my days. No matter my corporeal actions or the pathways of my mind, my heart belongs to you alone."

Apophis must have found what he sought in the vow for he lifted Teal'c's legs from around his waist and hooked them over his shoulders. He surged deeply in the Jaffa, moaning out his name.

Teal'c grasped the pallet with his fingers and relaxed the rest of his body as much as possible so his Lord would encounter no resistance.

The friction of Apophis burning into him caused his own pleasure, thick and ripe, to gather in his belly.

This was what he could have with no other lover. Only with Apophis could he allow himself to be so savagely taken. Only here could he forget himself long enough to be driven mad with pleasure. Here was a lover strong enough, bold enough, cruel enough to wring satiation from him.

Only here, with Apophis battering wildly within, could the molten heat of lust well up in his veins and sing to be released.

"Never," Apophis ground out without slowing his pace, "Never, never has one felt such as you."

Teal'c struggled to find a coherent reply, to tell Apophis that he, too, was beyond compare, but he could only huff out, "My love."

Apparently, that was enough.

With a quick twist of his wrist, Apophis freed Teal'c's cock. He pressed Teal'c deeper into the perfumed linens until the Jaffa balanced most of his weight on his strong shoulders and upper back.

Apophis pulled out so that only the head of his cock remained lodged in Teal'c's hot, oiled channel.

"No other?" he asked.

"No other," Teal'c assured him. It was true. He had been saved for Apophis since childhood.

Apophis slammed back into him. He withdrew again and asked, "No other?"

"No other," Teal'c repeated.

Declaring, "No other," with each bone jarring plunge, Apophis pounded the breath out of Teal'c, replacing it with honey-sweet excitement. Teal'c reveled in the dizzying spiral they were racing along.

"No other," Apophis said, reaching down to fist Teal'c's swollen cock.

"Yes, my love," Teal'c assured him, "there is no other."

With a cry of animal lust, Apophis sank his teeth into the flesh of Teal'c's thigh and filled him with his searing orgasm.

The quick prick of pain, the popping sensation of his skin giving way under Apophis' bite was enough to finally send Teal'c over the edge. His hot seed spurted over their chests.

"No other," Apophis said a last time, kissing Teal'c's mouth tenderly as he slipped out from his body. He turned to his right side and Teal'c curled up behind him, gathering him close in his embrace. They quickly succumbed to sleep.

With the instinct of a career soldier, Teal'c awoke long before dawn. Apophis slumbered on, still wrapped in Teal'c's arms.

He knew he must leave Apophis' bed and prepare for the ordeal of the day ahead, but he lingered for a few moments. Here, while his lover slept, Teal'c could look his fill. While at rest, the harshness bled away from the Goa'uld's face, letting only his loveliness and a strange vulnerability remain. Teal'c often wondered if this illusion of innocence might be a glimpse of the host.

It never ceased to amaze him that of all the Jaffa who served him, indeed all the peoples on any number of planets, Apophis had chosen him. He placed a small kiss on Apophis' temple, careful not to disturb him.

Apophis.

To a fatherless child he had been a God and a hero. To a struggling adolescent, he had been God, hero and unquestioned leader. When Teal'c had matured into an ambitious young Jaffa, Apophis had added the role of lover.

As an adult, Teal'c realized Apophis was more than all these things. He was also Teal'c's one true weakness, his personal and hidden kek.

Apophis.

Wondrous and hateful. Generous and cruel. Savage and gentle. Powerful and childish. Teal'c had been witness to all that Apophis chose to be and loved him still.

"No one can control how they feel, " Bra-tac had told him long ago. "We are not responsible for how we feel, Teal'c, only how we act. Actions count, emotions do not."

The old Jaffa was correct, he accepted that. It did not lessen the painful anxiety he had carried these past few days.

The time was nearly at hand. His love, his kek, would be measured against his honor, his duty.

He kissed Apophis once more, then rose from the bed. The worst of his wounds were healing, but his body ached and dried blood pulled at his skin.

Standing, he clothed himself in his silk robe and shuffled from the room. At the sight of the patrol of Jaffa guarding Apophis' chambers, he forced himself to walk as though he had no discomfort. Awe and envy was clearly visible in the Jaffa's eyes. If they only knew.

Once cloaked in the privacy of his quarters, he washed gingerly then applied salve to his wounds. He looked into the mirror over the water basin. It was surprising that other than a rapidly healing bruise to his cheek and a closing split lip, he appeared as he always did. No one would know he was a man being torn between what was right and what he wanted. No one would guess he was tormented with kek.

He turned away from the lie that was his reflected image.

The hours remaining before their departure for Chulak were too few for him to rest. It was doubtful the demons in his head would allow him more sleep anyway.

He slipped on his serpent armor, careful to pad the most grievous of his injuries.

Soon.

His very bones ached with the knowledge. Soon, the choice would have to made--love or duty? Self indulgence or honor? His people or himself?

Armor in place, staff weapon in hand, he walked toward the barracks. The men would be waiting for their orders.

Soon, the choice would be his to make. What he wanted or what was right?

He wished he still believed in a deity so that he could pray for guidance.

Shoving away his misgivings he stepped into the barracks. Calling, "Jaffa, kree," to his men, he began to ready them for their journey to Chulak.

Later, there would be time for self-doubt and flagellation.

Fin