Title: The Suit

Authoress: The Huntress

Huntress62@aol.com

Pairing: Jack/Jonas

Rating: NC17...First Time, PWP

Authors Note: I was in an 'anti-Sam' mood when I wrote this...for a change I wrote her as having a bad case of PMS.

Summary: Jack 'rescues' Jonas from a museum and they go out for pizza and beer

Disclaimer: Of course I don't own them. I only play with them and let them have a little fun.


The Suit
By The Huntress
~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Jack was on his way out and he passed Jonas' lab, peering in. He stared as Jonas was wearing a suit, trying to tie a tie. "Whatcha doing?"

"Sam says that men on your world wear these." He glanced down at himself. "Though I can't figure out why anyone would *want* to wear it."

"And *you're* wearing it because....?"

"She's taking me to a museum opening and she says I have to wear it. It's rather uncomfortable." Jonas threw up his arms in frustration, tossing the tie aside. "I GIVE UP!"

"I'll show you." Jack picked the tie up, sliding it around Jonas' neck, showing him how to tie it. "See? Not that hard."

"Why can't I just wear the denims and tee-shirt? I *like* them."

"Because men are supposed to suffer every once in a while to make them appreciate a good pair of Levi's."

Jonas pointed to a pair of shoes. "She got me those too. They hurt my feet."

"You'll survive," Jack smiled. "So tell me, why is she taking you?"

"She says I need to assimilate Earth culture and the best way is at a museum."

"Oy," Jack muttered, rolling his eyes. "Not again."

"Sir?"

"Nothing. Just be prepared for...." Jack took a piece of paper and scribbled quickly. "Here's my home phone number. If you need...help, just call me."

"Why would I need help?"

"Just take it."

"Okay," Jonas shrugged, a bit confused.

"Try and have fun," Jack said over his shoulder as he left to go home.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Jack was about to get into the shower when his phone rang. "This better be important!" he barked into the phone.

"Colonel, could you please...rescue me?"

"What happened?"

"I don't want to wear the suit anymore and the shoes hurt and the people here are boring and I want to go back to the Mountain but Major Carter says I...."

"Slow down and take a breath," Jack chuckled. "Is Carter around?"

"I don't know where she is sir."

"You don't know?"

"I mean, she's still here, but I don't know where. There are so many people and I can't find her."

"Stay put. I'll be there as soon as I can." He got dressed, wondering how he always ended up doing these things. 'Oh, the perils of command. And I wish Sam would stop doing this. Not *everybody* wants culture in their lives.'

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Jack made a quick stop at the Mountain, got Jonas a change of clothes and headed to the museum. He took the clothes and walked in, spotting Sam outside the men's room.

"Sir, what are you doing here?"

"Where's Jonas?"

"He's in there," she told him, making a sour face. "He won't come out. Do you know how embarrassing...."

Jack cut her off. "Shut up Carter." He went in, finding Jonas sitting on the floor, looking close to tears. Kneeling down, he gave Jonas a soft smile. "Hey, what happened?"

"I don't want to stay anymore." A few tears trickled down his face.

"Why didn't you tell Carter?"

"I did sir. But she said I *had* to. I asked her to take me back to the Mountain but she wouldn't."

"What do you mean she *wouldn't*?"

"She said she wasn't leaving so I wasn't, and I have no money to get a cab and she wouldn't give me any so I was stuck here. I asked her if I could use her phone to call you but she said you were on downtime and you'd be mad if I called."

Jack felt his anger bubbling, but held his temper in check. Getting excited now would probably scare Jonas half to death. "Whose phone did you use?"

"A man let me use his. I told him it was an emergency. This is boring. The food is terrible, the music is worse and the sculptures are downright ugly!"

"Stop crying Jonas," Jack soothed, rubbing his back. "It's okay."

"And she yelled at me too!"

"Why did she yell at you?" He grabbed a paper towel and handed it to him.

"Because," Jonas sniffled, "I told someone a sculpture was horrible and it was the artist. The man said I had no taste and asked Sam why she'd brought me. Then she took me outside and yelled at me. I started to take off the tie because I felt like I was being strangled and she said I had to keep wearing it." Jonas swallowed hard. "Are you angry I called you sir?"

"No, of course not." Jack undid the tie, sliding it off. "No more ties for you." He stood, putting his hand out, helping Jonas to his feet. "Wash your face and we'll leave. Oh, I stopped off and brought you a change of clothes."

"Can we go get something to eat sir? I'm very hungry. I couldn't even look at the food here. They served *snails*. It was gross."

"Gross?"

"Revolting, nasty, sickening, vile...."

"I know what it means Jonas. And I agree with you."

Jonas dried his face. "I did like the black stuff though. It was sort of like jelly."

"Caviar?"

"Yes sir."

Jack couldn't help himself, a smile playing at his lips. "Uh, Jonas, caviar is fish eggs."

"Fish eggs?" Jonas turned a slight shade of green and ran into a stall, wretching. He came out, taking the wet cloth from Jack, wiping his face down.

Jack handed him the clothes. "Get changed. We'll go for pizza."

"I like pizza." Jonas went back into the stall, coming out a few minutes later. "I feel more like myself now." He looked down at the suit in his hands. "I don't want to wear this ever again."

"You don't have to." Jack took the suit and stuffed it in the trash can, along with the shoes and tie. "No more suits for you."

They walked out and Jack gave Sam his nastiest glare. "You and I are going to have a chat tomorrow, and if you're lucky all you're going to be doing is scrubbing toilets for a month." Sam opened her mouth, but Jack put his hand up. "One word Carter and you'll be an airman before breakfast."

As they headed for the exit Jack heard chuckling and turned to face a snobby-looking man.

"Thank God you're removing him. He nearly ruined the opening."

Jack smiled at Jonas. "This the guy?" Jonas nodded. A slow smirk came to Jack's face and he 'accidentally' knocked into a waiter carrying a tray of wine, spilling it on the man's tuxedo. "Oops. Clumsy me. Come on Jonas. Pizza and beer await."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"I'm not sure I like this beer," Jonas said as he drained his third mug.

"You can try another brand."

"No sir, it's just that it makes me feel lightheaded."

"Yep," Jack snickered, "three mugs can do that to some people. Daniel used to drink one and practically pass out."

At Daniel's name, Jonas winced. "I *am* sorry sir."

"About what?"

"Doctor Jackson. I was a coward and he died because of it."

"No, you're wrong. You weren't a coward. Even if you had gone through the glass, I know Daniel. He would have followed you."

"Yes sir. Are you going to take me back to the Mountain now?"

"Come on." Jack stood up and so did Jonas, Jack catching him as Jonas nearly fell over.

Jonas blinked a few times, trying to focus. "What's wrong with me?"

"Jonas, have you ever *had* beer before?"

"No sir." Jonas began to giggle.

Jack looked heavenward. "Why me?" He looked back at Jonas, who was grinning stupidly. "You're drunk."

"I am not!" Jonas insisted.

"Okay then. Explain to me how a Naquadariah reactor works."

Jonas narrowed his eyes. "I...well it...I can't think right now sir."

"That's what I thought. *You* are shitfaced. And I sure as hell can't take you back to the Mountain like this. Hammond will find out and have my head."

"I won't let him sir. Decapitation is not a nice thing."

Jack nearly laughed, then thought better of it. "Figure of speech."

"Oh."

They left the restaurant, walking over to the truck.

Jack pulled out his cel, calling the Mountain, advising Teal'c he was taking Jonas home; he knew how much the Jaffa worried about Jonas. Jack finished the call and turned around to open the door when he suddenly found himself wrapped in a hug. "Hey, what's that for?"

"For taking care of me."

Without thinking, Jack returned the hug, opening the passenger door, Jonas climbing in. Jack got in and started the engine.

"Can I call you Jack?" Jonas didn't wait for an answer. "Jack, there's something you should know. I love you."

Jack's mouth fell open. "Uh, okay. Sure. I, uh, me too. You're," he thought for a moment, "...one of the good guys."

"No. I *really* love you. As in *lovers*."

"Jonas," Jack said softly, "it's the beer. You like women, remember? I've seen the way you look at Janet's nurses."

"Yeah," Jonas nodded, "I *like* women, but I *love* you. Will you take me home and nail me to the mattress?"

"Sure Jonas," Jack nodded back, humoring him, wondering where Jonas had learned *that* phrase. "Whatever you want."

They had driven about five minutes when Jack stopped for a light. Jonas' hand was groping him a second later, rubbing the front of his pants.

"Jonas, drunk or not, if you don't behave, I will take you over my knee and spank your bottom red."

Jonas grinned at him. "Promise?"

"Promise what?"

"To spank me. And I had *no* idea you were into that."

Jack stared at him, mouth agape. "You *want* me to spank you?"

"It's on my wish list. Among other things."

Jack stood there, the words sinking in. 'He is *totally* tanked,' Jack thought. Aloud, "Stop it right now!"

Jonas smiled, winked at Jack, and promptly passed out.

"Oh boy," Jack muttered, feeling his pants tighten. "Behave!" He admonished himself. "He doesn't want you. He's so crocked, he'd make a pass at a sheep."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Jack pulled up in front of his house, got out, and shook Jonas, until Jonas began to wake up. "Hey Jonas, we're home."

Jonas cracked his eyes open, "Hi Jack," and closed his eyes again.

"Jonas, get up." Jonas lay his head back. "Never mind." He pulled Jonas out. "Time for bed." He stood Jonas on his feet, opening the front door and stepped inside, holding Jonas up with one hand while he closed the door. A second later, his legs were pulled out from under him, and he found himself flat on his back. "Jonas!"

Jonas crawled up Jack's body, laying on top of him. "Kiss me."

"NO!"

"Fine," Jonas grinned. "Then I'll kiss you." He leaned in, lips meeting Jack's, feeling the lips part for him. He finally pulled away, licking his lips.

"Jonas, do you know what you're doing?"

"No." Jonas' lips returned to Jack's and Jack reacted, rolling them over, so he was on top.

"I don't think this is the right time," Jack whispered, trying to get up.

Jonas slid his hands down Jack's back, into his pants, grabbing Jack's ass, pulling Jack's body against his.

"*You* are drunk." Jonas leaned in again, Jack turned his head and the lips landed on his cheek. "You'll hate me in the morning."

"Oh no Jack, I won't hate you. I love you."

Another kiss, and Jack let himself go, returning the kiss with much fervor. He finally realized what was happening and this time pulled away from Jonas, getting to his feet. "I'm taking you to bed."

Jonas got to his feet. "Good, 'cause that's where I want to be."

"No. The guestroom bed." He led Jonas to the room, pushing him onto the bed. "Now go to sleep." Jack watched Jonas turn over, and sighed. "My love life...."

He quietly left the room and headed for his bedroom, going straight into a cold shower.

Five minutes later, Jonas got up, looked around, realized where he was and decided that was *not* where he wanted to be. He went to Jack's room, stripped off his clothes, and sat outside the bathroom door, waiting for Jack to come out.

The moment Jack stepped out of the bathroom, he was knocked off his feet again, Jonas atop him again, but this time, he felt hot, bare flesh. It was one thing to fight off a clothed Jonas, another thing entirely to defend himself against a naked body...especially when said body was sliding down his own, leaving a trail of kisses.

"Jonas?" Jack's voice cracked and he swallowed hard. "Jonas, please don't do this."

Jonas' eyes met his. "You don't want me to?"

"I didn't say that, but...."

"Good."

Jack took a deep breath, realizing the situation he was in. If he pushed Jonas away again, the younger man was going to come back. Jonas wasn't about to take no for an answer. "Okay, you win. But let's take this to the bed." Jonas nodded, getting off Jack and moving to the bed. Jack pulled back the covers, Jonas getting in, Jack beside him. Jonas rolled atop him and Jack began to rub his back. "This what you wanted?"

"Uh-huh."

Jack continued to rub his back, slow soothing circles, watching as Jonas' eyes closed. "Sleep now, make love later."

"Promise?" Jonas whispered.

"I promise."

"Don't let go."

"I won't."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Jonas' eyes cracked open and he attempted to stretch...but found himself held immobile by a strong arm. An arm that belonged to a very naked body. A very *male* naked body...Jack's body. "Uh, Jack...Colonel...sir?"

"Hello Jonas," Jack grinned at him. "Sleep well babe?"

"Babe?"

Jack couldn't help himself. "Would you prefer honey? Maybe sweetheart? How about lover?"

"Lover?" Jonas squeaked.

"You're in my bed, you're naked, I'm naked, what do you think?"

"Great. This is great," Jonas muttered, making no attempt to move.

"Yeah, it was," Jack was enjoying himself.

"We had sex and I don't remember." Jonas thought for a minute. "Was I any good?"

"Jonas," Jack asked, fighting a laugh, "what exactly do you remember?"

"The museum. Sam was mean to me. That ass who thought he was an artist. Pizza and beer. But I don't remember coming back here and I certainly don't remember making love with you. And you didn't answer me. Was I any good?"

"I dunno Jonas. You passed out before we got to that."

"Oh." Jonas scrunched up his face, slowly remembering. "We came inside the house, and you...no, I...jumped you?" Jack nodded. "Then you put me in bed, in the guestroom...oh yeah. I wanted to sleep with you. No, not sleep. Sir, why didn't you let me...of course, you're a gentleman, aren't you?"

"Not always." Jack rolled Jonas atop him, squeezing Jonas' ass. "But I do like my lovers to participate. it wouldn't have been any fun if you just lay there." Jack brought one hand to the back of Jonas' head, pulling him into a soft kiss, arching his body up. "God you feel good." His hands carded in Jonas' hair, holding their lips together.

Jonas returned the kisses, burying his lips in Jack's neck, licking to his ear. "I want you."

"I know," Jack murmured. "But not now."

"Why not?"

A lick to Jonas' lips, a nibble along Jonas' ear. His cock against Jonas', feeling it swell. "I have no lube." A shrug from Jonas. "I can't. I'll hurt you."

"But...."

"Jonas...." Jack caressed Jonas' ass with his fingertips, body pushing up, his dick finding Jonas', rubbing them against each other, hearing Jonas moan. "You like this?"

"Uh-huh."

Jack reached between them, thumb grazing the tip of Jonas' cock. "You're leaking." He sucked his thumb into his mouth, along with two fingers, wetting them. Resting one hand on Jonas' ass, the other slid between Jonas' cheeks, teasing, waiting for Jonas to make the next move. He didn't wait long.

Jonas pressed his own body down harder, stretching his arms over Jack's shoulders, rotating his hips, feeling the friction. He lifted his ass against Jack's fingers, clearly wanting more.

Jack was more then happy to oblige, slowly slipping one finger inside, in and out, listening to Jonas moan, watching Jonas' face, eyes closed, face steeped in bliss. Then Jonas arched his body, whispering "More," and Jack, once again, was more then happy to take care of things. Meeting Jonas' every move with one of his own, Jack slid a second finger inside, pushing deeper, thrusting up harder. Lips moving to Jonas' neck, he sucked on the sensitive spot where neck met shoulder, leaving a nice bruise. While one hand finger fucked Jonas, the other gripped his ass cheek, sliding their dicks back and forth against each other, the moisture from both slicking them. A moan from his own lips, his free hand moving up, fingers winding in Jonas' hair. He took Jonas' mouth none to gently, tongue deep, sucking the breath from Jonas' lungs. "You gonna come for me now? Come all over me?" Another moan from Jonas. "Do it with me. It'll feel so good."

"I...oh...this is...oh God....COLONEL!" A bite to his shoulder and Jonas screamed as his orgasm was torn from him, his come bathing the two of them.

Jack followed a moment later, continuing to grind their bodies together, until both men were soft, drained, and covered with each others come. Feeling Jonas go limp in his arms, Jack smiled, holding him close. "Did you like that?" Jonas just nodded. "Speechless, huh?" Another nod. Jack rolled him onto his back, sitting up. Jonas sat up as well, gripping Jack's arm, and Jack chuckled. "I just want to clean us up." Jack went to the bathroom, washed up, wet another cloth and went back in to the bedroom, watching Jonas getting dressed. "You need to clean up."

Jonas was looking everywhere but at Jack. "I did. I used tissues." He sat down to tie his shoes. "I'll go downstairs and wait for you to drive me back." Jonas headed for the door.

"Did I scare you? Hurt you?" Jack asked, more then a bit concerned.

Jonas stopped, turning around. "No."

"Then why are you leaving? It's..." Jack looked at the clock. "...five o'clock in the morning and no missions are scheduled for three days."

"I can call for a taxi."

"No money for a taxi," Jack couldn't help smirking.

Jonas chewed on his lower lip, staring at the floor. "I want to leave before you throw me out."

"What makes you think I'm going to throw you out?"

"You got what you wanted sir."

Jack walked over to him, lifting his face, looking into his eyes. "Do me a favor and don't call me sir or Colonel when we're off duty and especially when we're in the bedroom. My name is Jack." Jonas tried to pull his head away, but Jack held it steady. "I didn't...use you, if that's what you're thinking. Look, if you *really* want to go, I'll drive you back. But I'd like it if you'd stay."

Jonas looked surprised. "Really?"

"Yeah, really. I won't touch you if you don't want it."

"I liked the way you touched me."

"I'm going to assume no man has ever touched you like that before."

"No. And women don't ask me to stay."

"Women on base?" Jack asked.

"No," Jonas answered quietly. "On Kelowna. I haven't since I got here."

"I know you've had offers," Jack slid one hand around Jonas' waist, pulling him close.

"Turned 'em down," Jonas murmured before letting Jack kiss him. He started to drop to his knees but Jack stopped him.

It finally occurred to Jack that he was naked and he pulled Jonas to his feet. "You're not up to that yet, trust me."

"I want to," Jonas protested, trying to drop again.

"No. Jonas, that's...we'll practice that, okay?"

"Now?"

"Jonas, you just got dressed."

"You can help undress me Jack." Jonas flushed pink. "I forgot to put my underwear back on."

"If you weren't blushing, I'd say you did it on purpose." Jack pulled Jonas' shirt over his head and undid his pants, Jonas stepping out of them. "There, much better."

"Sex now?" Jonas asked hopefully.

"No."

"But Jack...."

"Jonas, we have three days to do nothing but get to know each other. We'll...get to that later. Like when I'm more awake. Okay?" He pushed Jonas onto the bed. "Sleep."

"Hold me?"

"Now *that* I can do." Jack climbed in, covering them, kissing Jonas chastely as he gathered him in his arms. "Ya know Louie, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship."

"Who's Louie?"

"Go to sleep Jonas."



FIN