USS Tangent

Category: Humor

Fandom: Stargate SG-1

Archiving: Yes to Heliopolis, The Sarcophagus, Doorway to Heaven, Stargate Shrine, Sandra's site. If you want to archive it, let us know :)

Spoilers: None

Season Set: Any

Website: It will soon be available at all the websites listed above.

Rating: G. There's one serious swear word, but that's it.

Summary: This is what happens when writers get bored.

Disclaimers: We don't own 'em. Wish we did. The only things we own are ourselves. Maria and Cassandra belong to Maria and Cassandra. Please don't steal us.

USS Tangent
by Maria Guyan and Cassandra Jackson
*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&

<Maria> *gazes off the port bow of the USS Tangent*

<Maria> *sees an iceberg in the distance*

<Cassandra> "Oh, god.. We're going to die!!!!!!!!!!"

<Maria> "Quick, use the clones as floatation devices!"

<Cassandra> "DANIEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, GET OVER HERE NOW!!!!!!" *Grabs him and jumps over board.. *

<Maria> *grabs Teal'c* "Remember that breathing underwater thing? Start doing it!"

<Cassandra> *hits the water with a splash.* Oh SHIT this is COLD......

<Maria> *kisses Teal'c and throws him in the water while he's distracted before jumping after him*

<Cassandra> *Teeth chattering, I look at Daniel and forget the cold water as he starts kissing me to warm me up.*

<Maria> *swims past Cassandra and Daniel, holding onto her Jaffa* Did I ever mention that Junior's also a good electric blanket? *sees that they're busy and keeps swimming*

<Cassandra> *Looking at Maria, I pull Daniel with me as I go after not only Maria but Teal'c too.* Wait......We could use some of that warmth too.. How about sharing?.. Please...

<Maria> Sharing? *frowns in confusion at this new word*

<Cassandra> *Shivering, Daniel pulls me closer as we swim.* Yeah, share as in help save our lives as well as yours..

<Maria> *sighs* If I must..... *lets them swim over to Teal'c*

<Cassandra> *Snuggling to get warm, I smile at Maria.* Thanks, now the four of us has a good chance of surviving this thing.

<Maria> *scans the horizon. In the distance she spots..... could those be giant Troll dolls? No!
It's the Nox, waving them to shore!*

<Cassandra> *Seeing the Nox, I smile with happiness.* Yes, we're saved.. Daniel, swim towards Lea....

<Maria> *Maria and Teal'c swim towards the shore when something swims beneath the water around their feet. She looks at Cassandra* Are there creatures in this ocean?

<Cassandra> Oh, please tell me you're joking.....

<Maria> I wish I was. *can't say any more as she's pulled underwater by some strange force*

<Cassandra> *Seeing her friend yanked under the water, Cassandra pulls away from Daniel. She swims as fast as she can. Reaching Teal'c, She looks at him as he just floats there.* What are you doing? *Getting no answer, she grabs his knife and dives under the water to try to save Maria.*

<Maria> *beneath the water, Maria is fighting off a creature in a gold robe and an eye patch. Mouths the words to Cassandra* Get this thing off me!

<Cassandra> *Swimming up to this strange creature, she gets a close look. To her surprise and disgust she realizes that it's Apophis who has her friend. Swimming closer, she uses the knife to slash at his arm that is holding Maria under the water. Hitting her mark, they both swim madly for the surface.*

<Maria> *kicks free, landing one kick smack against his groin before following Cassandra to the surface where she gasps for air*

<Maria> Thanks, Cassandra.

<Cassandra> *Hitting the surface, She gasps for air.* No problem. *As she and Maria kicks for the shore, Cassandra is suddenly grabbed and dragged under.*

<Maria> *eyes wide, Maria dives underneath the water thinking 'Not again....'. She swims after Cassandra*

<Cassandra> *Kicking as hard as she can, she sees Maria swimming to save her. She also sees that Apophis is *very* pissed.*

<Maria> *with a scowl on her face, Maria approaches the pair. Thankful that she brought her zat gun, she pulls it free of her belt, pointing it at Apophis. Motions to Cassandra to try to get free*

<Cassandra> *Seeing what Maria is going to do, Cassandra uses the last of her reserves to pull free as Maria fires two shots at Apophis, killing him.*

<Maria> *watches as the shots hit him with satisfaction, then swims over to Cassandra, wrapping
an arm around her waist as she kicks to the surface*

<Cassandra> *breaking through, Cassandra gasps in oxygen once again. Upon getting her breath back she barely whispers.* Thanks, I thought I was a goner for sure.

<Maria> Don't mention it. *gives a happy sigh as she feels Teal'c arms wrap around her from behind* Ho about we get out of here?

<Cassandra> *Looking over her shoulder, Cassandra is relieved to find Daniel in arms reach. Taking his hand, she leans against him to allow him to swim.* Sounds like a very good idea to me.

<Maria> *lets Teal'c swim her towards the shoreline where the Nox are waiting, ever patiently*

<Cassandra> *Reaching the shore, the foursome falls thankfully to safety.*

<Maria> *kisses the ground as she reaches the shore, then rethinks that idea as she attempts to spit out bits of sand* Yuck....

<Cassandra> I think it's safe to say, we are going to survive. *Looks out where the ship once was, only to find nothing there. Shocked she looks at Maria.* Um, the ship is gone. Now, do you suppose it just vanished?

<Maria> *looks at Lea questioningly then shakes her head* Nope, I think it sank. Guess we'd better get used to fruit, huh?

<Cassandra> *Smiling and checking out the island's landscape* I say that's a very promising and good idea.

<Maria> *wraps her arm around Teal'c's waist and leans against him* Might as well make the best of it.

<Cassandra> *Watching the pair, Cassandra laughs out loud at the situation.. Who would have guessed they would survive and end up on an island paradise? Looking at Daniel, Cassandra leans against him and smells the fragrance in the air.* This is paradise indeed.

<Maria> *in her best Jack impression* Sure, have an apple. What could happen?

<Maria> *and as the sun sets, the curtain closes on yet another fulfilling adventure*