Wake Up Daniel
by mor *j*

It was 4am and Jack couldn't sleep. He stood by the window, vacantly staring out into the blackness; a dark picture that framed the mottled, random passage of snowflakes as they sought the collective companionship of the ground. The blank white carpet stretched away from the house, glistening in the pale moonlight, a bleakness reflecting his thoughts that weren't there.

His hands cupped around the mug, the edge touching his lips as he sipped at the warm cocoa, the soothing sweetness a reminder of another night. The thought, unguarded, prompting a smile that sent a moment of lightness surging through his chest, warmed by Daniel's tease that this piece of information would do nothing for his reputation as the resident Colonel BadAss of SGC. But he didn't care, at this moment he was home and it was safe to relinquish that role to somebody else…

***

The house was unusually warm, warmer than he really liked, and in vast contrast to the sub-zero temperatures on the other side of the glass.

He had turned up the heat when Daniel came home, cold and tired, returning on the red-eye special from DC. Off on another artifact hunt at the Smithsonian, researching a reference to some writings he had seen on planet P9-something-or-other; too many gate addresses for him to remember and one in particular that he hoped he could forget.

It seemed to Jack that sometimes Daniel just needed to go off by himself and rummage through a museum basement and immerse himself in yesterday. He simply enjoyed the sensation of holding, in his own living hands, the property of the dead. It was one of his `sanity breaks'; needing to find some kind of sanctuary away from the rigors of the SGC and the military life that constantly hobbled him with regulations that he would just never fully accept.

Jack smiled at thoughts of Daniel's constant irreverence to those rules that dictated his world; it had been a never-ending and extremely vigorous source of energy that had sparked their numerous heated discussions--discussions that had made his life much less ordinary.

So he accepted those lonely excursions, understanding Daniel's need to go haunt the dark recesses of academia, where he could blow off the accumulated intellectual dust and inhale the staleness of his past and a more sedate life, while he waited at home, never wanting him to go but knowing that he would always return.

It had been almost one a.m. when Daniel had finally shown up at the door, totally exhausted and in need of something warm to drink and a soft bed to fall into; Jack had obliged him with both.

"Hey" His welcome was punctuated with a true smile as he opened the door.

"Hey yourself," Daniel's return reinforced with a `glad to see you' spark that was always reassuring.

"You look beat." His concern surfacing as Daniel rolled his eyes in agreement, stepping into the warmth, relinquishing his laptop to Jack's helping hand, glad to relieve his shoulder of the heavy case.

"Air travel is such a nauseating pain in the ass!" And his car keys flew out of his hand onto the small wooden stand by the door.

"Forgot your Dramamine, huh?" A knowing smile creased Jack's lips as he closed the door against the night.

"Yeah!" The reminder prompting a hand to massage at a still queasy stomach.

"Sick?"

"I'm okay… just tired now." His fingers slipped the buttons loose to open his overcoat. "There are definitely some real advantages to Gate travel. God! I thought that flight would never end. I hate airports. I hate driving in the city and …I know for a fact now that all the drivers in DC have some sort of death wish…" He rambled on, shaking off the snow, slipping his feet out of his wet shoes before kicking them beneath the stand where his keys lay. "Please remind me about this the next time I have this urge to go off to the Smithsonian."

Jack listened, attentive, enjoying the routine, helping to pull off the damp overcoat, feeling icy drops of melting snow seep through his socks from Daniel's discarded shoes. He hung the coat carefully in the hall closet and watched as Daniel rifled a hand through his short, snowflaked hair, finally tipping his head forward to shake the last remnants of the outside onto the entranceway floor.

"God it's cold out there. I'm frozen inside and out." He shivered and Jack watched him arc his back, slowly circling his head from side to side, trying to release the tension that was biting across his neck and shoulders. Daniel hated to fly, the tension always there after a long flight. "I think I could sleep for a month." His statement punctuated with a ragged pull at his tie, snaking it free from his collar, before tossing it carelessly onto the chair--the residual irritation obvious as he impatiently unbuttoned his shirt at the neck and headed into the living room.

Jack followed, his hands kneading at the knots in Daniel's shoulders, listening to him bitch on about some moron he'd run into at the museum. Some former colleague who had dismissively informed him that he thought he was dead.

"Can you believe that jerk?" Jack could feel the tension return as Daniel stiffened in his anger, displaying his aggravation with a tug at his shirt to pull it free from the confines of his belt. The neat and trim package that was Doctor Jackson was now discarded in favor of the relaxed, and slight sloppy, Daniel.

"Hmm... that feels good," he stopped at the edge of the couch allowing Jack to pressure point the strip between his shoulder blades. Each release followed by another groan of appreciation. "Thanks Jack… that helps a lot." Slowly easing himself face down onto the couch, burying his head into the cushions, the
muffled sounds of his gratitude were lost as he allowed his body to sink into their softness.

Jack sat on the edge of the coffee table, his thumbs continuing to soothe a passage along Daniel's back, the moans of his appreciation rewarding O'Neill with a feeling of warm comfort that centered calmly in his chest. "You want food?"

The response obviously a negative as the head submerged in the cushions rocked slowly from side to side, "My stomach's too messed up," the words clear, as his face slid out from beneath his arms, "Cocoa?" the question framed with raised eyebrows, the sparkle of blue holding a hint of a plea.

"Sure," Jack pushed himself to his feet, rubbing at the knee that was complaining the most.

"You okay?" Daniel's gaze dropped to the knee that was receiving attention, his fingers reaching out to assist Jack's, in massaging the pain.

"Yeah… will be… once I take some aspirin," he squeezed Daniel's hand, then hobbled over to the fireplace, kicking out the kink in his knee on his way.

"You warm yet?" Asked with the poker in his hand while he deftly stabbed at the smoldering log, assisting the embers in their erratic dance to swirl in the flame before ascending with the calling draft of the chimney.

He glanced over at Daniel, watching him roll lazily onto his back, stretching out over the full length of the couch; the softness of the cushions helping to ease the stiffness in his muscles--confirmed by the groans of appreciation with each settling movement of his body.

"The fire's good," Daniel inhaled slowly, the sound of his breath clear in the quiet of the room, "Wood-burning smoke's… got a …a… ruggedness to it…kinda reminds me of you."

"Are we heading into a compliment here? Or what?"

"Yeah…No…what I mean is the house smells good… warm… like being home," The radiant heat shadowed his outstretched body as he grabbed at a cushion and wedged it under his neck, his arms flopping above his head to drape over the armrest, finally allowing himself to succumb to the soothing warmth.

Jack tossed another small log on to the fire and headed towards the kitchen, his fingertips deliberately grazing Daniel's elbow as he moved by the couch, noticing that his eyes were already closed by the time he turned into the hallway that led to the kitchen.

The house was quiet, only intermittent sparks from the fire sending out shots that intruded into the silence.

Jack plodded around the kitchen, the mugs clattering in their preparation. "How was your day?" a disembodied voice pulled his attention in the direction of the living room. He smiled into Daniel's questions. "Anything interesting happen while I was gone?"

The voice drifting in obviously tired, the questions mere fragments sent out to encourage some conversation, to just touch base and reestablish their contact. Jack answered once but received no response to his comeback, allowing the silence to once again pervade until he had stirred the last spoon of cocoa.

"Nope! The usual." Said with a smile as he stood over the snoozing Daniel, two steaming mugs, one in each hand. "Here…" He waited while Daniel pulled himself up to a slouch, dragging more cushions in behind his back, his legs folding to give Jack room to slip onto the end of the couch. "I spiked yours with some brandy... it'll settle your stomach." A grateful pair of hands reached out to receive the mug, blowing into the rising steam as he sipped at the edge.

"Thanks," settling back against the cushions, "How usual?" he prompted, happy to just relax and listen to Jack for a while, the mug perched on his chest, the base of it sending a ring of heat through his shirt.

"You know," Jack shrugged, nudging himself around to face Daniel, his good knee allowing him to tuck the leg underneath, the mug resting on his thigh, "Carter played with some of her mechanical toys, Teal'c practiced his mime act, Hammond directed traffic... same stuff… you know." He sipped at the cocoa, not really wanting to talk, just pleased to have Daniel home.

"That's what I like about you Jack… you're so damned conversational."

"You know I don't do chat real well," and he placed his mug on the coffee table, reaching out to pull one of Daniel's feet onto his lap, "Besides… it's kinda boring when you're not here," his strong fingers massaged at the toes, the heal of his hand kneading into the sole, "This sock is wet," his announcement followed by a tug that bared a foot. "Your turn to do laundry," said as he turned to toss the soggy article onto the floor by Daniel's shoes. "Yesss!" escaping his lips with a grin as the black ball landed on the imaginary green that was in reality an inch from the abandoned shoes.

"Jack! You know I hate doing laundry," as he struggled to remove his other sock.

"Tough! So do I." His eyes following the arc that the second sock took on its way to the hallway, watching it bounce off the wall and roll out of sight towards the kitchen, "You suck!"

"I was aiming for the wall."

"I repeat. You suck!"

"Not always!" the grin challenging as he slouched back into the cushions, his leg extending further into Jack's lap, the heel of his foot nuzzling into his belly, the sole planted firmly along his chest. Daniel wiggled his toes, and Jack held his foot firmly against his chest, enjoying the pleasingly reassuring energy that permeated across the physical barriers of skin and bone to synchronize with the perpetual rhythm of his heart.

They stayed like that for a while; conversation was sparse, Daniel slowly succumbing to his fatigue, lulled into a dreamless sleep by the strong but gentle movement of Jack's hands as he continued to massage pressure circles around the captured foot.

The fire had finally died, the red glow a mere cinder of light in the early morning hours. The clock in the hallway chiming twice, reminding Jack that their day would be starting early--the next mission a return visit to the country of Kolwena, which was scheduled to leave at noon on that day.

He squeezed the foot, a gentle prompt, "Daniel," receiving a groan in response as Daniel stirred. He unwound his leg and slowly pushed himself off the couch, taking a step to hover over the soundly
sleeping figure.

"Daniel," firmer, and blue eyes opened with a far away glaze, a moment of confusion crossing his face as he peered up at Jack "You'll sleep better in bed," his knuckles rubbing gently across ribs, rousing him out of his sleep.

"'kay." Daniel sleepily accepted the proffered hand that pulled him off the couch, swaying slightly until Jack clasped him into a steadying hug.

"You okay?"

"Yeah. Just tired. Need sleep." And he allowed himself to remain in the hug, his arms slipping around Jack in response, his muscles tightening as he reciprocated the tenderness.

"Glad you're home Daniel."

"Me too," his hand affectionately sliding across Jack's arm as he plodded off in the direction of the bedroom, leaving Jack to pick up the two discarded mugs, carrying them to the kitchen, lights
extinguishing in his wake…

***
Jack circled his hands around the warm mug, turning his gaze away from the window. He padded across the wood floor, the ridges of the raised grain blending into the soft contours of his soles.

The covers on his side of the bed were pulled back and crumpled, evidence of his early departure from an uneasy sleep. He stood at the foot of the bed, smiling at the toes peeking out from beneath the down-filled cover. Daniel was more unconscious than asleep, his exhaustion obvious by the rag-doll floppiness his fully outstretched body exhibited; arms casually tucked under the ends of his pillow, his mouth slightly open, his breathing slow and even. He slept with a vulnerability that only the feeling of absolute security would have
provided.

Jack gently settled onto the end of the bed, his back propped up against the wooden baseboard, feeling Daniel stir slightly as he pulled a corner of the cover across himself. He liked to watch him sleep. To watch the rapid movement of his eyelids as he engaged in his subconscious journeys, twitching every so often, obviously in conflict even in his dreams.

Jack was content, not wanting or expecting anything, other than the closeness, the shared companionship, and the easiness that their friendship had brought into his life.

Daniel moaned, his dream surfacing him into the twilight world, his hands pushing back the covers, sweeping them aside, his body protesting their provided heat.

A grin spread across Jack's face, the white letters, Property of The US Air Force, blazoned across the dark blue t-shirt that adorned the sleeping chest. He shook his head and a quiet laugh escaped his lips; he hadn't seen that earlier, the bedroom had been dark when he had entered, except for the light that shone in from the partially open bathroom door, spotlighting his companion who was already sound asleep in his favored position, flat on his stomach. The t-shirt was their private joke and it warmed his heart, realizing that
Daniel's humor had transcended his tiredness. Jack felt his chest tighten, knowing that Daniel had been thinking of him when he had slipped it on before collapsing onto the bed.

The room was suddenly cool and Jack rubbed his hands together, puffing his warm breath into their cup, feeling the heat radiate into the skin of his fingers and palms. He eased himself onto his knees and gently lowered himself back into bed, pulling the covers up over Daniel.

He could hear the rhythmic sounds of Daniel's breathing, his sleeping companion's face turned towards him. Jack lay still, quietly inhaling the steady stream of warm breath, taking its life into his mouth, to fill his lungs with the air that had been Daniel's moments before. He slipped his warmed fingers under the folds of the rumpled blue t-shirt, settling his hand lightly on Daniel's belly.

Wanting to feel the gentle rhythm of his body as it moved with the ebb of life. Needing to touch him, to connect directly, once again, with his soul mate and absorb the pure energy of his life's breath so reassuringly there under the touch of his hand.

"Wake up Daniel," Jack's voice was a whisper, "I have something I need to tell you." He could feel the change in Daniel's breathing, the almost imperceptible tightening of his belly as his body surfaced from its sleep and awakened in response to his voice. Daniel stretched sleepily, his arms cradled around his head, and looked at Jack.

"What Jack?" the sleep clouding his eyes, "What did you have to tell me?" The question was soft, barely audible, punctuated with a smile that was pure kindness.

"I miss you."

"Me too." Daniel's smiled broadened and his hand slid under the cover and slipped over Jack's, pressing their combined warmth into his chest and around his heart.

Jack's eyes closed, overwhelmed by the sensation that flowed into his fingers, by the charge that surged up through his arm, to explode into his chest with an intensity of the emotion that burned like a fire through his body. The pain was real--as it would always be.

But he was content to lie still in the night and know that Daniel was close by, that he could reach out and feel his presence beneath the surreal touch of his fingertips.

"I have to go now Jack," Brilliant blue eyes smiled out from a canopy of white light, his ethereal self slowly dissipating from under Jack's hand. The remnants of his once solid form no longer able to support Jack's embracing arm and it softly passed through what had once been his body, to rest on the empty sheet where he had once slept… but on a day that was not this.

Jack stretched out his fingers, his palm desperately searching across the nothingness, frantically harvesting in what essence of his hope remained, his heart aching from a pain so deep that he was left with a life that now had no meaning--his soul eternally longing to once again satisfy his `sweet craving to connect, to have his heart safe with one who understands'(1).

Daniel had been the only one to ever understand.

End

Mor_ag2001@yahoo.com
(1) Truman, e-correspondence, 8/14/2002