A Kiss

by lost sheep

I knew that Hutch was really angry as he had stopped yelling, though the tone he was using now was far worse. It was that low cold tone he used when he was really angry, most the times I heard it that anger wasn't directed at me, but this time it was. I don't know why he was even so upset, none of what happened was my fault and I was getting quite sick of him taking it out on me. I just sat quietly on the chair, not saying anything, not fighting back just let Hutch rant and rave. He moved to stand in front of me, his legs to either side of mine. He rested his hands on my shoulders and leaned in until our faces were only inches apart. I could smell his after shave, and feel his warm breath on my face. He just continued to use that same cold tone, letting his anger be known I just stared at him wanting to shut him up. I know arguing back would accomplish nothing but make Hutch even angrier that was nothing I could say that would make him stop. I decided there was one thing that get him to shut up - I leaned my head forward, closing the distance between his face and mine, and kissed him deeply on the lips. We held the kiss for a moment, before Hutch stumbled back away from me, staring at me with wide blue eyes.

"Wh-why did you … you kiss me?" Hutch stammered.

"To make you shut up." I told him

"Wh-what?" Hutch asked, as if he couldn't comprehend such a simple reason.

"Because for the last several hours you've been carrying on and I couldn't stand to listen to it any more. It seemed the only way to get you to shut up."

"Oh." Hutch said quietly, stepping away and turning his back on me.

I sighed as I stood up, I had only meant to make him stop with his rant though it was obvious the only thing I had succeeded in doing was hurting him. I stepped over behind him and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"I didn't mean to upset you, Hutch."

"I'm not upset." Hutch responded shortly.

I knew him too well to believe that. "Yeah right, and I'm the pope."

Hutch chuckled slightly, just the response I was hoping for. He turned so that we were once again face to face, we stood so close to each other that our bodies were touching.

"So, you just kissed me to make me shut up?"

"Yes." I replied honestly. "I didn't mean to upset you, babe."

"I am not upset."

"And I am still not buying that."

"I'm not upset, Starsk. Why would I be?"

I looked at him for moment, trying to gauge the sincerity of what he was saying, was I really missing reading him. "I don't know why, so why don't you tell me?"

"There's nothing to tell."

"I was 'trying' to avoid arguing with you tonight." I placed a hand gently against his cheek, holding his head so that our eyes were locked. "Please tell me why you are so upset … so hurt because of that one little kiss."

Hutch didn't say anything, he just stared at me as though I was speaking a language that he didn't understand.

"Is it just because I kissed you?"

"No." Hutch replied quietly.

"So, we playing twenty questions here, partner?"

Again there was no reply from Hutch.

"Just because it was a kiss between two men?"

"No." Hutch replied, desperately trying to divert his eyes away from mine, but I held the gaze.

"Please just tell me, Hutch. I don't get why you're so upset. Was what I did that terrible?"

"No." Hutch said, his voice was less quiet. "It's not you, it's me."

"Umm, Hutch, you sound like someone trying to break off a relationship." I said, my mouth suddenly felt try and my chest tightened as though I couldn't even breathe. "That's not what this is - is it? You ain't ending our friendship just because I kissed you - are you?"

"No. God, no. Never, Starsk." Hutch told me. "It's just …"

"Just what?" I stared at him, panicking that the kiss I had used to bring an end to his ranting had brought and end to our friendship. "Do you hate me because of it? If you want to hit me, go ahead - hit me."

"I don't want to hit you, Starsk. And I could never hate you." Hutch said in a reassuring tone. "Hutch … just stop with this game I have had enough of playing twenty questions." I told him, my frustration was clear by the tone of my voice.

"It's the reason why."

"What's the reason why?" I asked, it seemed it was now my turn not to follow what my friend was saying.

"The reason why you kissed me."

"To shut you up?" I asked, confused as to why that made such a big difference. "I don't see how that matters."

"It matters to me."

"C'mon, Hutch what's the real reason."

"That is the real reason, Starsk."

"Pathetic reason, babe." I told him.

Hutch smiled slightly. "For which one of us?"

"What?" I asked not following what he meant.

"For me to upset because of or for you to kiss me because of?"

"I thought it was a good idea at the time."

"Do you regret it?" v "No." I replied quickly. "I have no reason to regret it … after all it worked."

Hutch smiled slightly, though the smile never reached his eyes.

"Hutch, do you think I would just kiss anyone to make them shut up?"

Hutch blinked. "No … not just 'anyone.'" v "Exactly. You ain't just anyone, you are my best friend."

"And you are mine."

I smiled. "I know." I looked more deeply into his blue eyes and saw something there I had never noticed before or if I had I had dismissed it as something else.

Hutch swallowed hard, seeming uneasy under the scrutiny. I moved my hand from his shoulder and ran my fingers through his soft blond hair, and pulled his head closer to mine. I captured his lips with mine for a deep kiss, this time I didn't let him pull away so quickly. I could feel what had always been in my heart all along - and I could feel what is in his. I pulled back slightly and stared deep into his eyes, feeling as though I was drowning in the icy ocean blue.

"Why … why did you kiss me this time?"

"Because I know you love me … and because I love you."

=30=