Title: Happy In The Dark

Author: Angie (Forbidden Angelus)

Fandom: Starsky and Hutch

Pairing: Starsky/Hutch

Rating: PG

Notes: Post-SR. It took 10 minutes to write. Sorry for the errors… First S&H fic and I’ve written mainly in Italian.

Happy In The Dark

by Angie

People.

People around him.

They were laughing and talking and speaking.

And he wanted to yell, proud, ‘Look at him! He made it!!’

And sure, he was wonderful.

No one had believed he had once again got on his feet after such a fall.

But there he was, cheerful and smiling as always, among all those people, their friends.

He smiled as he watched his partner dancing with one gorgeous girl.

He was moving gracefully as always, not a wince betraying what had been just a few months earlier.

He watched as he moved, talked, ate, drank…

And something in his throat melted.

He made a run for the bedroom.

His knees suddenly weak, he leaned on the wall and slowly sank down as tears spilled from his eyes.

Silence in the room, except for his breath and the memories.

There had been terrible moments for them, but they had made it.

Gunther be damned…

They had made it!!

Steps approaching.

He would have recognised them everywhere.

"Starsk…"

"Hey, babe… Huggy told me—Why are ya in the dark?"

The light bulb came alive and it stung his wet eyes.

He covered them with an arm.

"God, Hutch! Are you alright?! Why are you crying?!"

"Turn off the light… hurts my eyes…"

Just a second then darkness surrounded them again.

Hands stroking his hair and arms encircling him.

Bliss.

He could get lost in all this and he would have been an happy man.

"What’s wrong, babe?"

"Nothing… Nothing’s wrong."

Clinging to that wonderfully warmth that he’d risked to lose.

His forehead touched the neck were it meet the shoulder.

Skin.

Starsky’s skin

Starsky’s alive skin.

"Don’t-Don’t you ever leave me, okay? Never! Never… I just… I wouldn’t survive…"

Warmth.

He needed it.

Craved it.

The arms around him tightened their hold.

"Oh, Hutch."

"I love you, Starsk… I love you so much… Don’t leave me… Don’t leave me…"

Soft voice in his ear as hands caressed his back.

"I won’t…Ya know how much I love ya, don’t ya?"

"Yes."

"And ya know I’d never hurt ya voluntarily, no matter what, right?"

Silence.

He nodded.

"Then what are ya doin’ here on the floor, cryin’ your eyes out?!"

"I’m happy Starsk."

"Happy? Ya sure got a strange way of bein’ happy, ya know?"

"Relief. It’s relief… I’m-"

A sigh.

Start again, c’mon Hutchinson.

"Don’t you see, Starsk?"

"As a matter of fact… no, I don’t… Light’s out, ya know…"

Okay, this was Starsky and his sense of ‘humor’.

Nothing new here.

He raised his eyes to the other’s, his hands firmly grasping well-muscled biceps.

Alive, well-muscled biceps.

He tried again.

"You are alive… You are ALIVE! Alive and well… It’s just…"

"I know."

"And I was so goddamn happy that I felt overwhelmed and I just started to cry and I… I couldn’t stop… I can’t stop… You are HERE, Starsk… and I’m TOUCHING you… and you’re warm, and you’re…"

"Alive?"

"Yes, and…"

"Well? Warm?"

Quiet.

"Mine."

Hand on his face, tentative in the dark.

Firm and sure when he found the target.

A caress on his right cheek.

Then another.

"’Course, Blondie. I’m yours if you’ll have me…"

"You’re mine. And I’m yours. Yours."

"Hutch?"

"Yes?"

"Can I join ya at bein’ happy?"

A smile.

"Yes."

"Hutch?"

"Yes?"

"Can I kiss ya?"

"Yes!"

"Hutch?"

"Yes?"

"Can ya say somethin’ else other than ‘yes?"

"Yes."

Another smile.

"Hutch?"

"Oh, shut up!"

Their lips touched at the soft sound of laughter.

END