Title: The Days Of Our Lives, Chapter Two

Author: Tayla

Fandom: Starsky & Hutch

Pairing: Starsky/Hutch pre-slash

Rating: PG13

Category: Drama

Status: Completed July 20, 2002

Archive: Yes to WWOMB/Peja. All others please ask

Feedback: Yes, please. These first two chapters are my first attempt at a Starsky and Hutch
fic. Let me know if I'm getting it right.

Series/Sequel: Yes

Disclaimers: Not mine. No money made.

Authors Notes: Part two of my S&H epic.

Summary: Hutch has something important to tell Starsky.

Warnings: none

The Days Of Our Lives, Chapter Two
by Tayla

Starsky and Hutch were driving along in the Torino. It was Friday afternoon and they had the weekend off. Starsky studied his tall blonde partner out of the corner of his eye as they made their way to Hutch's Venice Place apartment. Something was bothering the other man. Had been bothering him for a while now, and Starsky was determined to find out what.

"What's up with you lately partner?"

"What do you mean Starsk?" Hutch replied, not meeting his partner's eye.

"I know you buddy. Something's bothering you."

"I'm all right."

"No you're not."

"Drop it Starsk."

"Are you having problems with Vanessa?" Starsky remembered the argument he had with Hutch's ex a few weeks ago. "I swear if that bitch is trying to keep you from seeing Evie, she's gonna answer to me!"

"No, I'm not having problems with Vanessa, at least no more than usual. I still get to see Evie one weekend a month."

"Oh. That's not this weekend, is it?"

"No, next weekend."

They drove in silence for a few minutes. Hutch was not in the mood to keep up with the small talk. Starsky was right. There was something bothering him. He just wasn't sure how to broach the topic with his partner.

"So if it's not Vanessa and its not Evie, what is it?"

"What's what Starsk?"

Starsky heaved an exasperated sigh. "What's bothering you? You're not sick are you buddy?"

"Jesus Starsky, will you cut it out!"

Starsky raised an eyebrow at the other man's outburst. "Not until you tell me what's wrong."

Hutch bit his lip and stared out the window, trying to avoid another angry retort. Why couldn't Starsky just let it be? He didn't want to tell him. Starsky is the most important person in his life after his daughter. He didn't want to lose that friendship. And he feared he would if he told Starsky what was bothering him.

"Starsky, please . . ."

"C'mon Blintz. I'm your best friend. Please tell me what's wrong. Maybe I can help."

Hutch had no choice but to admit that it was time to tell Starsky. His partner was a very stubborn man. He knew that Starsky would not quit badgering until he told him what had been on his mind for the past few months. Really for the past few years, since the two had met in the police academy. He certainly hoped that Starsky could help. His partner had the power to make all his dreams come true. Or totally devastate him. It depended on how he reacted to what Hutch had to tell him.

"All right, Starsky."

"You're gonna tell me what's wrong?"

"Yes. I'll tell you."

Starsky blinked in surprise. He didn't think it would be that easy to convince his partner. He waited a moment.

"Well?"

"Why don't we stop by 'The Pits' and get something to eat first."

Starsky narrowed his eyes. "You trying to put me off, partner?"

"No Starsky. I'm just hungry. And I have to think of a way to tell you."

"Whatever it is has been on your mind for a couple of months. You should have thought of the words by now."

Starsky had been worried about his blond partner for a while now. He seemed preoccupied; he wasn't fully concentrating on his job. Starsky had tried to give his friend time to work out whatever was bothering him but it was really starting to effect his work. And that was dangerous for both of them.

He was relieved that it wasn't a problem with Evie. His partner's little girl was one of the bright spots in Hutch's life. Starsky's too. On weekends that she visited, they spent Friday evenings together, eating pizza and watching TV. Unfortunately, she always wanted to watch 'The Brady Bunch' and 'The Partridge Family'. He was getting a little tired of hearing about how cute Keith Partridge was.

They decided to get take out instead of eating at Huggy's. They went back to Hutch's apartment, and ate in pensive silence, Starsky wondering what it was his partner had to tell him and Hutch wondering how his partner was going to react.

They cleaned up the dishes, still without talking much and then went to the living room with their beers.

Hutch flipped on the television.

Starsky got up from his spot on the sofa and turned it off again.

"Oh no you don't partner. You're not gonna distract me with the boob tube and you're not gonna waste any more time evadin' the question. Now tell me what'd been bothering ya, buddy."

Starsky parked himself on the sofa and waited for his partner to gather his thoughts. Hutch sank down next to him and put his head in his hands. This was it. The following conversation could change his life. For better or for worse, he wasn't sure yet.

Starsky ran out of patience. "Come on Hutch. Tell me."

"I don't now if I can."

"You know you can tell me anything, babe."

"Did I ever tell you why my marriage to Vanessa didn't work?"

"She's a bitch and she doesn't deserve you and the only good thing she's ever done in her life was Evie."

"Well yeah, but there's another big reason." Hutch took a deep breath and said it. "I'm gay."

Starsky blinked in surprise. He had never had any indication that his friend was gay.

"You are?"

"Yes." Hutch answered miserably.

"We've known each other for six years now and I've never seen you with a guy. Unless you're really good at hiding it."

"I haven't really been hiding it. I haven't been with a man in quite a while." Hutch was breathing a little easier. His partner hadn't gotten angry or acted disgusted by his revelation. "The last time was at the Academy and before that was in college before I met Vanessa."

"You're really gay? 'Cause you've dated a lot of woman since your divorce."

"Well that was kind of expected."

"Expected?"

"A man gets a divorce, he's supposed to date a lot. And I suppose I've been denying it. That I'm gay, I mean. That was easier to do when I was married."

"I didn't think anything about your marriage was easy."

"The easy part was not having to worry about being gay or straight. I was married. I wasn't supposed to be fooling around. I could kind of hide behind that. There was just that one time in the Academy when I broke my marriage vow. Other than that, I just kept to myself."

"But you and Vanessa didn't get along that well."

"I knew there was nothing I could do to please Vanessa, so I didn't worry about it. We basically tried to stay out of each other's way. Since the divorce I've been trying ignore my attraction for men by dating a lot of women"

"And that's not working for you anymore?"

"No."

"So you want to date men now?"

"Something like that."

Starsky looked puzzled. "This is what you've been afraid to tell me?"

"I thought you might not want to be partnered with me if you knew."

"Hutch, you're the best friend and the best partner I've ever had. How could you think that of me?"

"It's happened to me before. In college I had a roommate that I became good friends with. I told him I thought I was gay. He freaked out. He punched me and told me he hated me. He went to the RA and got his room assignment changed."

"But that's not me Hutch. I'm your best friend. We've saved each other's lives how many times now. There is nothing that you could do or say that could make me hate you."

"Then you're okay with it?"

"If you want to date guys, its all right with me as long as they treat you right."

Hutch started feeling hopeful that this night would really go his way when Starsky said "Can't say that I understand it, being the ladies man that I am, but if that's what you're into, I'm not going to condemn you." Just that fast his hopes were dashed.

"You've just made the rest of what I have to say that much more difficult."

"What?"

"I'm in love with you, Starsky."

Starsky was stunned. "You mean 'in love' in love? Like romantically interested?"

"Yes." Hutch said in a defeated tone.

"Well I don't know what to say."

"Still sure you don't hate me?"

"I just said I could never hate you. This doesn't change that. But I've never thought of you that way. I've never thought of any man that way." Starsky studied his partner for a few moments. The tall blond was pale and shaking. He realized how much courage it had taken for this man to tell his secret, not knowing how he was going to react. He reached out then and wrapped an arm around his partner's shoulders and pulled him into a hug. He just held Hutch for a few minutes. Finally he asked, "What do you want to do about this?"

"We don't have to do anything about it. I just needed to tell you. A person deserves to know when someone loves them. And I promise I'm not going to jump you or embarrass you or do anything to make you uncomfortable. We can just go on like we always have. Nothing has to change."

Starsky was quiet for a moment. His head hurt. Hutch had hit him with some heavy stuff tonight. He had a lot to think about.

"Thank you for telling me."

"Thank you for not freaking out on me."

"Told you buddy, that's not going to happen." He disentangled himself from his partner and stood. "It's getting late. I'm gonna head home."

"Goodnight Gordo."

"Goodnight Blintz."

Starsky headed for the door. He turned back to see his partner sitting forlornly on the sofa.

"Hutch, I know this isn't the way you wished this evening would end."

Hutch sighed but then he grinned at his partner. "That's all right, Starsk. You're still my friend. That's the most important thing."


End