Title: The Days Of Our Lives, Chapter Three

Author: Tayla

Fandom: Starsky & Hutch

Pairing: Starsky/F, Starsky/Hutch

Rating: NC17

Category: Drama

Status: Completed July 20, 2002

Archive: Yes to WWOMB/Peja. All others please ask

Feedback: Yes, please. All constructive criticism will be graciously accepted

Email: tayla36@aol.com

Series/Sequel: Yes

Disclaimers: Don't own them. Don't know who does. Don't make any money. Don't sue.

Authors Notes: This one is a little different. It's told in first person from Starsky's POV

Summary: Hutch told Starsky that he loves him. Now Starsky has a lot to think about.

Warnings: Slash. Descriptions of M/M sex and M/F sex

The Days Of Our Lives, Chapter Three
by Tayla

I certainly have a lot to think about. A week ago yesterday, my partner told me that he loves me.

That really blew my mind. Up until then, I never had any idea that he was gay.

I'm still not sure what to do about it. I suppose I don't really have to do anything about it. He said that nothing has to change. That the friendship was the most important thing. But I'm sure that's not all he wants.

My partner wants to have sex with me.

Now I do love Hutch. He's the most important person in my life. I love my Mom, but she's in Brooklyn. My Aunt and Uncle live here in California but I was never really that close to them even though I lived with them for four years. I see Hutch every day. We depend on each other for our very lives. I love him and I know he loves me.

He wants to have sex with me.

I had a date tonight. She was hot. I mean really hot. We hadn't been at the table more than five minutes when she had her hand in my lap. She made some obscene gestures with her food. We ate fast, I paid the bill and we went back to her place and made love.

No, correction. We fucked. Wasn't anything loving about it. She was actually kind of brutal about it. She barely waited for me to take my pants off before she pushed me back on the bed and jammed herself onto my dick. It was hard and fast and we both got off on it.

Hey, I'm a swinging bachelor. I'm supposed to get off on stuff like that. Right? Get as much as I can from any woman I can. It's all perfectly normal and perfectly acceptable.

Normal. Acceptable.

It doesn't matter that I don't love her. Not only do I not love her, I probably wouldn't be upset if I never saw here again. In fact I don't think I am going to see her again. Because I don't love her and don't think I even really like her all that much.

I love Hutch.

Could I have sex with Hutch?

Nothing normal or acceptable about that.

Do I care if it's not accepted?

And here's another question. Would I be able to handle it if he were to start dating and find another man to have sex with? If he let another man get close enough to invite into his bed? Would I be able to sit alone on a Saturday night in my little apartment knowing that he's getting it on with someone else?

I don't think I'd like that at all.

What if he were to eventually fall in love with this hypothetical other man? Would I be able to handle it if this guy took my place on Friday night pizza nights? Watching 'The Partridge Family' with Evie? Shooting root beer out of his nose to make her laugh? Tickle fights with my little girl?

And when did I start thinking about Hutch's daughter as my little girl?

He said that he told me he loved me because everyone deserves to know when someone loves them. That he didn't expect me to love him back that way. He deserves that. He ought to have someone in his life that will love him that way.

Could that be me?

Could I love him like that?

Come on Starsky spell it out. Could I fuck my partner?

Could I let him fuck me?

That's the only thing that's left out of our relationship. We're already close. Closer than brothers. Hutch doesn't have any brothers and I haven't spoken to mine in a couple years. I've said it before and I'll say it again. He's the most important person in my life. Evie and my Ma are a close second.

Could I do that for him? Could I be everything to him? Could I be his lover? Change my sexual orientation for him?

I already love him. How much would it take for me to fall in love with him?

I'm lying back on my bed staring at myself in the mirror on the ceiling. I just got back from my date. I just had hot sweaty sex with a beautiful sexy woman. And now I'm lying here thinking about having sex with my partner.

So lets try a little experiment, shall we?

I've kicked off my shoes but I'm still dressed. I make myself comfortable, leaning back on my pillows in much the same position that my date took me in not an hour ago.

I unbutton my shirt and run my hands over my chest just like she did, but instead of remembering her, I close my eyes and imagine Hutch straddling my hips, stroking my chest and brushing those long elegant fingers over my nipples.

My eyes snap open. Since when did I notice that Hutch has elegant fingers?

I close my eyes again and continue.

Hutch, hovering over me, moonlight shining off his blonde hair. And he's smiling.

He's coming closer, leaning down over me. Closer still and then his tongue darts out and flicks across my nipple. I moan and buck my hips, almost throwing him off the bed.

I open my eyes again. Man, that was intense. Time to get serious about this fantasy. I undo my jeans and shimmy out of them. I'm already half hard just from the nipple thing.

I close my eyes again and this time Hutch is naked too. Now this takes some imagination. I've seen Hutch naked but not aroused, so I have no idea how big he really is. In my fantasy, he's a decent size, about as big as I am. I guess that's no coincidence, since the only prick I've seen in person is my own.

I imagine him kissing his way down my chest and belly 'til he gets to my cock.

Oh god.

Can I imagine this? Can I really lay here and imagine my partner going down on me?

Apparently I can. I wrap one hand around my cock and start stroking, imagining that it's Hutch's mouth. In my mind, it's the best blowjob I've ever had. You know I've heard that men blow better than women do. In my fantasy, it's the truth. It only takes a few strokes before I'm coming hard down my partner's throat.

After I catch my breath and stop shaking, I open my eyes to find myself splattered with come up to my chin.

Well I would say that was a successful experiment. I got up and take a quick shower before crawling under the covers and trying to sleep. I spare a thought for my partner and wonder if he'll be haunting my dreams tonight.

Yes it was a successful experiment. It answered some questions, but it also raised some. I imagined Hutch giving me a fantastic blowjob and it turned me on.

But could I do the same to him? I can’t even begin to imagine it. I have no frame of reference for what it would be like to take another man's cock into my mouth. I don't know if I could. I've never even considered it.

Until now.

If I could do it for anyone, it would be Hutch.

I guess I still have a lot to think about.

End