AUTHORS NOTE: This is the first piece of Trek slash that I wrote. Oddly enough, it won a Golden Orgasm in 1997...second place, Best TOS HetSmut.

Author: Laura JV

Title: First Light

Archive: yes

Rating: NC-17

Parts: 1/1

Codes: Spock/f, Spock/m, Spock/Pike

Fandom: Star Trek: TOS

Warnings: I don't use warnings.

Disclaimer:
All Hail Mighty Paramount, for They Own the Characters.
What I do with them is My Business.
Hey, did I overload my Spock operator or what?

FIRST LIGHT

By Laura JV

Spock raised his head from meditation. He had served with Christopher Pike how long? He couldn't do the math, and that frightened him. *And how long have you wanted him, Spock?* That twisting inner voice frightened him more. "I am betrothed," he hissed, as though saying the words aloud would make them more real. "I am..." His voice trailed off. "I am betrothed to a woman I scarcely know, and do not desire."

He stood up, paced the room, replenished the firepot. He took his S'harien from the wall and polished the already shining blade. His hands shook, and he cut himself on the razor edge, and had to bite back the human curse that leapt up in the back of his throat like something alive.

"I have spent too long among humans." But the words were empty, and his relentless honesty would not let him believe them. He loved humans, loved the way they smelled, the way they felt when they relaxed enough to accidentally--or not so accidentally, in some cases--touch him. The non-accidental ones he sometimes took to bed, savoring their taste and their minds when he dropped his shields. He was very careful. No one who loved him, or who could call him a friend had been in his bed. No one he loved had, either. T'Pring might have noticed that, thin and tenuous as their bond was. The men wouldn't have mattered in any case--and Spock wondered for an instant what ancient logic made same-sex partners such an integral part of Vulcan society--but the women, sweet and alien, would have been a problem if T'Pring noticed.

*Thinking of women...* Spock wrapped his hand in a strip of cloth and headed to sickbay. There was a doctor there he'd been meaning to talk to, anyway--and her shift was almost over.

"Daria." The woman at the desk looked up sharply. Spock half-smiled at her. "I cut my hand. Will you repair it for me?"

"Aren't any of the nurses--"

"I would prefer that you do it." He pitched his voice so that it would run over the skin of any listener, vibrating long after he had stopped talking. He was rewarded with a slow smile from the doctor.

She held his hand very gently as she worked. It was a short, easy job, but her replacement came in before it was over. "Want me to take over, Dar?"

"Oooh, all two seconds of the rest of it." She laughed and let go of Spock, whose injury was now a fading green line across his palm. The Vulcan nodded and slid off the table and out the door.

He waited for her in the corridor. She came out a few minutes later, and almost ran into him. "Spock!"

"May I...accompany you, Daria?"

She nodded, but appeared to be very nervous. Spock smiled, which made her jump slightly. *I picked well this time. She's acting exactly as she should.*

"Spock?"

"Yes, Daria?"

"Why have you started calling me that? You've always called me Dr. Callahan before. I know I asked you to...but you never did." She twisted her shoulders slightly.

Spock moved his hand, rested it on the back of her neck. She tensed and inhaled sharply. He could feel her desire flowing through her. He sent a jolt of his own, and watched the fabric of her uniform crinkle over her nipples. He slid his hand down her back. "I wanted to call you by your name. It seemed appropriate." He layered his voice, subharmonics and vibrations and other things that have no names--and she trembled under his hand. He laughed softly, and took her to his quarters.

Daria cried out as Spock flexed suddenly, flipping them over and pulling her down on top of him. His cock, dark green with blood and ridged, plunged into her as she half-fell. Spock ran his hands, warmer than human hands, over her skin, up to her breasts where they traced circles over and over. She rocked her hips and slid up and down his cock, her eyes closed. She felt him shift and lost her balance. He caught her and crushed her against his chest, but she could feel the restraint in him. He was strong enough to kill her if he was careless, and he knew it. Then his lips were on her neck, and every nerve in her body burst into flame. Spock had dropped his shields.

He loved what it did to his partners. They suddenly felt everything he was feeling as well as their own sensations. He loved the shock of being in two bodies, of feeling their minds cope with this experience, so far beyond any sex as they knew it. Daria was screaming, her body shaking as she came, and he knew just how to move--and did, more deeply than he had moved before--and felt the telepathic jolt that told him she was about to black out--and he came into her, his cock throbbing, his mind and blood flaming as though pon farr touched him.

Daria did black out, shuddering on top of him, and he held her until she seemed to be sleeping naturally. Then he rolled her off of him and kissed her gently with his shields down. She woke up at that and smiled up at him.

"Spock."

"Daria."

"I had...fun."

He tilted his head to one side. "That was, I confess, my intent." *Only partially,* he reminded himself, but it wasn't necessary to tell her.

"I'm glad. Spock?"

"Yes?"

"You are aware that I'm married?"

"Yes, to Ensign Harblock," Spock said. *And what I think of him is my own business. No need to tell her how little I can tolerate him.*

"This...can't happen again."

"I quite agree. I assure you, I am most discreet."

She snuggled up to him, and he touched her mind very slightly. He just wanted to check--good. She had no idea what he had done, no idea that he'd invaded her as much as he had. *What I did was...not quite unethical, but I had best watch myself. This is dangerous ground, as it has always been.* She had sensed the shield drop, and had assumed it was a normal part of Vulcan sex. He caught a thought as it bubbled around in her mind--...they are telepaths, how wonderful! Different...--and let her go as she stretched and stood up.

"Mind if I use your shower?"

"Not at all."

He dressed and left before she came out of the bathroom.

-------------

Spock ate dinner with Daria the next day. She was glad to see him, and they discussed some of the more interesting xenobiological aspects of the last planet the Enterprise had explored. Spock could feel the change in her from across the table. She was following the normal pattern of his partners, her desire burned out of her, and she was moving naturally into friendship. He allowed himself a moment of amusement. Humans could be manipulated into Vulcan ways so easily. She was reacting exactly as a Vulcan would, responding to his slight lingering mental presence in her body by changing her response to him. He could see that she was confused by her reaction, but pleased by it.

"It's natural, Daria."

She blinked. "What is?"

"Your reaction to me." Daria wrinkled her forehead at him. "Vulcans...use sex to seal friendships. Usually, it is used in same-sex relationships, but...it is not unknown in our situation."

He watched her closely. She appeared to be slightly angry, but soon the anger smoothed out of her face. "I've always liked you, Spock, but we weren't friends. I wanted to be, but I didn't think you did. Why did you..."

Spock raised an eyebrow slightly and waited for her to go on. When she did not, he said, "To create a friendship, to give you pleasure, to give myself pleasure. Mostly to give you pleasure. I thought you would enjoy it, as you did. Most humans react as you do to...casual sexual contact with Vulcans. It seems to generate a sense of well-being, and you appeared to be under stress. Now, you are not."

She grinned at him. "How long will it last?"

"There is little data on humans."

"Speculate."

"Approximately four months."

Daria leaned across the table and whispered, "I don't suppose I could prescribe you to patients as a stress reliever?"

"I am not that casual about sex, Dr. Callahan."

She laughed. "Just one or two, Spock? Please?"

"Are you making a serious request?"

"Yes. I have some people in mind. You get final say, of course."

"Of course."

**************

The first patient that Daria and Spock could both agree on was a lieutenant by the name of Jay Kimble. "He is acceptable," Spock said when Daria called him. "I shall be in sickbay shortly."

Kimble was taller than Spock, and heavier. He looked from Daria to Spock with a confused expression. "Dr. Callahan, I'm sure you mean well, but--"

"No argument, Lieutenant. Mr. Spock here is just what you need."

Spock saw the desire in Kimble's eyes, and encouraged it with a slight smile and outstretched hand. "Come with me." Kimble trembled as the voice crawled over his skin.

********************

"Deck 5." Spock's voice was steady, but he could barely think. Kimble smelled wonderful. "Stop."

"Sir?"

"My name is Spock. And your name is Jay."

The lieutenant nodded, and wiped his hands on his pants.

"Jay--" and the Vulcan interrupted himself by pulling Kimble to him and kissing him, running warmer-than-human hands under the gold uniform shirt. Kimble tensed, then relaxed and kissed Spock back, and Spock dropped shields enough to know that Kimble would have no reservations about carrying this through to its logical conclusion. But not here, in the turbolift--

He released the human and reached out for the handbar on the lift. "Resume." He could feel Kimble trembling slightly at his side.

They reached Spock's quarters through mercifully empty corridors.

Once inside, it was Kimble who took the initiative, as he pressed Spock against the wall and kissed him deeply. Spock moaned softly as Kimble's hands found his cock, swollen against his uniform pants. He arched his back and the human slipped his hands inside the pants and found the catch.

Then Kimble's cool fingers slid Spock's pants over the narrow hips, down far enough that he could cup the Vulcan's scrotum. The fine black curls of hair seemed to curl more fiercely with arousal, and Spock moaned again.

His cock trembled, and the first glistening drops of pre-cum appeared.

Kimble's exploring hand found the slickness, and the human released Spock's mouth.

"Well, Spock, what have we here?"

Before the Vulcan could organize his thoughts enough to reply, Kimble was on his knees, sliding his hands down Spock's legs, brushing the pants lower and lower. Then he flicked out his tongue, so that it just touched the tip of Spock's cock. He did that again, as though he were experimenting, thinking about the situation--and then, with one quick motion, he slid his mouth over the end and curled his tongue around the ridges.

Spock dug his fingers into the wall and tried not to cry out. Kimble was exploring the different textures of the Vulcan's cock, running his tongue up and down it, nibbling at it. He made an attempt to deep-throat the slick green length of it, and appeared pleased with his success--especially since "success" finally forced a cry of pleasure from Spock's lips, now swollen with arousal.

Kimble, his mouth still surrounding Spock's penis, crept upward to cup the scrotum again. Then he slipped his fingers backwards and found the Vulcan's anus, which yielded to gentle pressure and rewarded the human with another cry. Slowly, Kimble released the cock and slid his fingers out of Spock's ass. Equally slowly, he got to his feet.

"Spock." The name was a caress and a demand.

"...yes?"

"What do you want?"

Spock trembled slightly, then stilled himself. "You," he growled. *Men are so much stronger! I can hold them so tightly!* He kicked off his boots and pants with catlike quickness, and reached for the human, intent on having him as soon as possible.

But Kimble was fast, too. He twisted away and spun around--and caught Spock off-balance. The Vulcan found himself face-down on the bed. He had not been the bottom for quite some time, usually by his partner's preference. This was acceptable--more than acceptable.

Kimble leaned over him. The human was completely naked now, and Spock could feel the coolness of human skin through his uniform shirt--until Kimble ripped it off. Spock could no longer resist. He dropped his shields. Kimble's mind was almost gone with desire, his cock throbbing with the need to be buried within the Vulcan. *Yes.*

Kimble moaned and reached down to wrap his hand around Spock's organ, rippling his fingers up and down. He touched the tip of the Vulcan's cock to get some pre-cum, and used it to lubricate Spock's anus. Spock felt the tip of the human's penis against him, and then the clear thought, *I don't believe I'm about to fuck a Vulcan,* just as Kimble entered him.

"You are--so hot--" Kimble gasped. "Oh God--" Spock cried out and felt the first twinges of orgasm. He sent the sensations to Kimble, who began to move more urgently, his cock sliding in and out, his hands gripping Spock's hips.

"Jay..." Spock whispered, and reached out his mental fingers to trigger the nerve-fires in the human, felt the spasm and throb of the cock in his ass, and came, hard and long, until his chest and the sheets were slick with semen.

-----

From within his small circle of friends and former lovers, Spock watched Captain Pike. Pike was across the room, picking at a salad and occasionally looking over towards the small flurry of activity surrounding the science officer. Sometimes, Spock thought he felt Pike's eyes burning into him, but he dismissed the feeling. *It seems impossible...*

Daria nudged him in the arm. "He's looking at you again."

Spock jumped.

"Like we don't all know? Go on." She nudged him again. One of the other women laughed.

"Go on, Spock."

He looked around at all of them.

"We've been watching you two. Go on," Daria said.

"You are unreliable."

"Us?" Expressions of mock dismay crossed several faces. Spock sighed and stood up. He straightened his shirt and looked down at them. "We love you," one of them whispered. "Go on."

The journey across the room seemed to take forever. He could hear his friends behind him, feel their eyes and hear their breathing. *Go on. Go on.* He reached out and touched Captain Pike's shoulder.

"Captain?" Spock sounded strange to himself, as though he were speaking into a void.

Pike turned and smiled at him. "Spock! Haven't seen much of you lately. Number One tells me you haven't played chess with her in a while--what have you been up to? It's quite a little club you've gathered over there; can anyone join?"

*He sounds glad to see me.* The thought was tinged with relief. "Not...anyone, sir. But you would be most welcome."

"Hm. There's probably some initiation ritual."

"...yes." Spock dropped his eyes and clasped his hands behind his back. He knotted his fingers together, willing them to stop trembling.

Pike winked at him. "So, are you going to tell me about it?"

"I..." The Vulcan couldn't make himself say it. "I cannot tell you without betraying them, sir."

"Chris. I told you years ago--call me Chris."

"Chris." Spock played with the name, savored it. "Chris." His voice shivered over Pike's skin like a caress. "Christopher."

"God. You'd better sit down, Spock." Pike's hands were shaking as he gestured at the empty chair next to him. "So."

"So?"

"Tell me."

"Tell you?"

Pike gazed at the Vulcan with calm eyes, but Spock, so close to him, could sense the turmoil behind them. *He has control worthy of a Vulcan.* "My mother is human, Cap--Chris. She once told me that love is a light."

"Yes?"

"I have lived in a very dark world."

"Spock, your colleagues--"

"Admire and respect me, even like me. My...friends, over there--they love me. And I them." Spock felt a faint tinge of green crawl over his face. *I cannot believe I am saying such things. A Vulcan does not say such things. I must control.* He looked down again.

"Spock?"

Pike's voice was so very far away. Spock shivered inside his skin.

"There is one...I would die for this one. I would kill for this one. The first light in my darkness. I have never told him."

"Forgive me--I don't want to intrude."

"It is no intrusion."

"Then...who?"

Spock snapped his head up, his black eyes blazing with the force of Vulcan passion. *We feel so much more than you know, little one.* T'Pau's words echoed in his head as he felt love and terror flooding him.

"Christopher Pike." Spock let the name vibrate in his throat, altered his voice so that the captain would at least be kind to him.

"God."

Spock stood and left the room. He looked back once, at his friends, but they were watching Pike.

When he reached the warm safety of his quarters, he wrapped his arms around himself, trying to still the panic he felt. He went to his meditation stone and rocked back and forth, reciting the old chants to himself. The rhythm was soothing, the High Vulcan beautiful and full of desert stillness.

He had almost controlled himself when the buzzer sounded.

"Come."

"I fully intend to." Pike was standing in the open door. Spock rose to his feet.

"Sir?"

"Chris."

Spock moved towards the captain, as carefully as if Pike might vanish in a puff of air. Pike stepped one smooth step closer, and the door swished shut behind him.

"I'll need your help to fulfill that intention, Spock." He reached out and brushed his hand against the Vulcan's face.

Spock could no longer stand the waiting. He no longer cared what T'Pring might say or think of him. He moved with predatory speed, crushing Pike to him, capturing his mouth. The human gasped slightly, then kissed him back, hard, his teeth nipping at the Vulcan's tender lips until they drew blood.

The coppery taste of blood drove Spock almost mad with desire. He shifted his hold on the captain and found the clasp to the uniform trousers. It gave almost immediately, and the black pants slid to the floor. Spock knelt slowly, moving his hands upward under Pike's tunic. The human's nipples were hard...and so were other things. Spock used his teeth to pull Pike's underwear free of his cock, and then ran his tongue over it. It was cool against his lips, human-cool against Vulcan-hot, and it tasted faintly of cinnamon. He took the head in his mouth and circled his tongue around it. *I will not burn desire out of him, not this time. Perhaps the next or the next, but not tonight. I must be careful, because I will want him again.* Spock closed his eyes, lowered his shields, and slid his mouth down over Pike's cock and back up, and again.

Pike knotted his hands in Spock's hair and moaned. His thighs tensed and pressed against the Vulcan's shoulders. Spock kept moving, feeling the pleasure build within the captain, reaching out and touching nerve endings with his mind--*humans have so few defenses...*--until Pike cried out and came, his cock spasming and his come mixing with the blood from Spock's lip. The Vulcan's strong hands supported him, kept him from falling.

"I'm--afraid that--wasn't much fun--for you, Spock."

"We have time, my light. As much time as we need." Spock led the captain to bed, stripped both of them to the skin, and climbed in. Pike leaned into the curve of Spock's arm and relaxed. With a soft jolt of thought, Spock sent him to sleep, content for now to hold the man who burned like a single candle in the darkness.

---
End