Title: How Thor Got His Hammer Back

Author: Scarlet

Series: TOS

Rating: PG-13

Codes: K/S, A/U

Summary: A woman tells a bedtime story to her child, who likes old Norse tales. But this mother has been reading too much TrekSmut...

Disclaimer: The main characters in this story are deities from old Scandinavian mythology, and they are the property of everyone who believes in them. Any resemblance between these archetypes and the Star Trek characters owned by Paramount/Viacom is intentional. However, this is a not-for-profit piece of fan fiction, not intended to infringe upon their copyright.

This is my first story, inspired by Jungle Kitty's beautiful "A Tale From The North". Read it at: http://www.accesscom.com/~jkitty I wanted Jungle Kitty to write this story, but she was too busy, so I had to do it myself or never get a whole night's sleep again.


How Thor Got His Hammer Back
by Scarlet

"Mom, I want to hear a story."

The woman reluctantly turned away from her computer. "Did you brush your teeth?"

"Yes, I'm all ready for bed. I want to hear a story."

"Go ahead and go to bed. I'll be with you in a sec."

A few moments later, she sat down in the comfortable chair in the boy's room. The Reading Chair.

"What do you want to hear tonight?"

"Something about the old gods. About the Mighty Thor!"

"Again?" She sighed. "Let's see. "

She scanned her memory, and after a short while, began to smile a little strangely. "All right."

"It was morning in Asgard, home of the Gods. As the Mighty Thor awoke, he did as always: He reached for his Hammer, the weapon that made him strong and invincible, the Gods' most powerful defence against the Giants, the forces of Chaos."

"But this morning, the Hammer was not there. The Hammer had been stolen! There was a flash of anger in the Thunder God's hazel eyes --"

"Thor has blue eyes."

"No -- I mean, since he is not a real person, his eyes can actually be any colour I want them to be."

"In the comic book, they are blue."

"This is not the comic book version. Do you want to hear it or not?"

"Okay."

"Thor called for his best friend, the cunning Loki. Loki was a half-breed, he was only half Aesir God, and some of the Gods did not quite trust him, but he was very clever, and he had solved the Gods' problems more than once. Furthermore, many of the Goddesses liked to rest their divine eyes on his tall, slender body, his raven-black hair and strangely beautiful features -- "

"If this is going to be a girls' story, I want a comic book."

"Too late. Anyway, Thor told his friend about the stolen Hammer, and Loki immediately turned himself into a bird, flying high and low, searching everywhere. He searched Asgard, home of the Gods; Midgard, home of Men; and finally he reached Utgard, home of the Giants."

"A Giant addressed him in the formal greeting of his people: 'What do you want?'"

"'I come from Asgard, and I seek the Hammer that belongs to the Mighty Thor', Loki answered."

"At these words, the Giant laughed aloud. 'I have the Hammer, and it is safely hidden.'"

"Loki raised an eyebrow. 'Indeed?'"

"'Indeed, and I will return it only when Freya is brought to me as my bride.'"

"Freya was the Goddess of Love, and her beauty and enchanting ways were known in all worlds. Everybody would want to marry her, but Freya was not one to give herself completely to any one Man, God or Giant."

"Loki decided he would not debate with this Giant, who was named Trym, but promised to deliver the message to Freya."

"As was to be expected, Freya responded with flaming rage in her big, beautiful eyes. 'Marry a Giant? Never! They are crude, ugly, dirty, and smelly.'"

"Thor did not object to this, but he pointed out a vital fact: 'Without the Hammer, we are very nearly defenceless against the Forces of Chaos. If you will not submit to the Giant's wishes
-- we may all have to do so.'"

"The wise Freya considered his words. 'I do not willingly admit this, but -- Thor, I am frightened.'"

"Loki asked the Goddess: 'Have you ever met the Giant Trym?'"

"'No, I do not need to meet any Giant to know that he is a crude, ugly, dirty -- '"

"'Then', Loki said, 'there is another possibility. Thor, my friend -- you are more than good looking, even for a God, and would surely make a handsome woman if clad in the appropriate attire.'"

"At this suggestion, Thor was almost even more furious than he had been when discovering the theft of his Hammer. 'I, the Thunder God, dressed up as a woman?! All the Gods would be laughing in the Halls of Asgard, and rightly so!'"

"Loki was not impressed by this outburst, he had seen them all too often. 'It is the one logical solution, if you wish to retrieve the Hammer.'"

"'I will gladly lend you my most beautiful clothes and jewellery', promised Freya."

"'And you will not go alone. I will personally accompany you to Utgard -- as your bridesmaid', suggested Loki."

"Very grimly, the Thunder God acquiesced."

"Much later, Freya clapped her hands with delight. 'Boys -- If your plan should fail, fear not for your future. I will always have use for two so lovely handmaidens.'"

"And they were indeed lovely, Thor in a pale green gown with golden embroideries, Loki in midnight blue and a silver -- "

"Mom -- "

"Yes, honey?"

"Can you get off the catwalk and on with the story?"

"Loki seldom smiled, but anybody could see that his dark eyes were glittering. 'If the Giant Trym will not marry you -- I am sorely tempted to do so myself.'"

"*Mom* -- "

"'Enough of this idle banter', Thor snapped. 'It is time to leave.' And so, Thor and Loki went off to Utgard in Thor's chariot, drawn by two marvellous he-goats. They travelled above the clouds, and the skies thundered under the hooves of the goats, frightening all humans below."

"Uncle Eric always says, when there is a thunderstorm he says: 'Old man Thor is going out for a drive.'"

"Yes, that's what people believed in the old days."

"Is Uncle Eric that old?"

"No, but he likes the old stories, just like you and I do. But let me continue: When Thor and Loki arrived at the house of Trym, there was much commotion. Trym himself went out to greet the ladies,
whose beauty was thitherto unparalleled in Utgard."

"'This is beyond any doubt the fair Freya', the Giant beamed, looking at the well-built maiden with dark-blond curls showing under her silken veil. 'And the other beauty is -'"

"'This is Fulla, my bridesmaid', Thor answered, making his voice as to sound like a woman's."

"The two 'ladies' were brought into Trym's house, where the wedding feast was already in progress. Thor was always a lover of food and drink, and swiftly consumed one ox, one pig, and one lamb, and
swallowed down the food with large quantities of mead."

"Seeing this, Trym leaned over and quietly asked the bridesmaid: 'Has Freya always such great an appetite?'"

"'But no, your Grace', Loki whispered. 'Freya has simply not been able to eat anything since she learned of your proposal. She has been love-sick, that is what the other Goddesses are saying, and this is the cause of her great hunger.'"

"This answer pleased the bridegroom, who chuckled: 'I will soon make her hunger for other things than meat and mead!' And so he grabbed his bride, drawing nearer to kiss her, but was repelled by the flash in her eyes."

"Once again, he turned to the dark-haired woman from Asgard. 'If she is so eager to be my wife, why are her eyes shooting poisoned arrows in my face when I want to express my affection?'"

"'You do not yet know Freya, good Sir. She is by no means angry, only tired. She was tossing and turning in her bed all night, unable to sleep, excited as she was about her wedding. For this reason, her eyes may be somewhat red-rimmed today.'"

"'As they will be tomorrow, only more so!' the giant roared. 'I have had enough to eat and drink, now it is time to take care of other needs. Let the wedding ceremony begin!'"

"'Pray, Mylord', said Fulla softly. 'Would you not bring in the Hammer for the ceremony, to further bless this union?'"

"'That woman is Fulla *something*', observed a drunken Giant across the table, but no one took notice."

"Trym sent for the Hammer, put it down on the table for all the wedding guests to see -- "

" -- and the Mighty Thor grabbed it, his hand quick as lightning, his voice as thunder as he announced:"

"'I have the Hammer now! I am Thor, and the Hammer is mine!'"

"The giants were speechless as they watched the Thunder God and the Trickster God pick up their skirts and run out the door. Any Giants sober enough to put up a fight were easily dealt with
as Thor wielded his Hammer. The Aesir Gods jumped into the chariot and rode at great speed towards Asgard, and the skies thundered in their path."

"Thor was laughing with joy, but Loki was silent, watching the spectacle of the lightning below."

"'What is on your mind, my friend?'"

"'I was merely observing the interaction of the clouds. It would seem that when two powerful entities of different polarities make contact, the discharge of energy reaches an astounding magnitude -- and this is a glorius thing to behold.'"

"Thor pondered this for a while. Then the took the reins in one hand and let the other rest on his companion's arm, very lightly, and said: 'Thank you, friend of friends, for saving my Hammer. It would have been lost without you -- and so would I.'"

"'Perhaps you will be quicker to follow my suggestions in the future.'"

"'Rest assured that I will -- but first, I want to get out of this gown.'"

"'That was going to be one of my first suggestions.'"

She almost jumped in the chair, hearing her own words. What had she been thinking? More important, exactly what had she been saying?

"Honey -- are you awake?"

There was no answer.

*Thank goodness*, she thought. *He would not have appreciated the direction that story was taking -- *

She tiptoed out of the boy's room, heading once more for her computer.

* -- but I think I know of some people who would.*

THE END