Title: Lagoon
Author: Farfalla the Butterfly-Kitten
Email: blueberrysnail@yahoo.com
Series: TOS
Characters: K&S
Rating: G
Beta-read by Gamin Davis--thank you!
Summary: After TMP, the two reunited friends explore a Vulcan melding technique
LAGOON
by Farfalla the Butterfly-Kitten
Admiral James T. Kirk packed up the chess game he and Spock had just played, their first since Spock's return from Gol. Spock, still slightly weak from his encounter with V'ger, reclined against the sofa in Kirk's cabin, grateful to be there. "Sit beside me, Jim," he invited. "I wish to experience something special with you."
"All right, Spock, what is it?"
"It is a mind technique. On Vulcan, it is a way for close friends to express their mutual affection."
"What does it involve? Is it like a meld?"
"It is a form of meld, but deeper than what you remember. The melds we have shared in the past were conducted on two levels: observance and communication. We had immediate knowledge of each other's minds and could use the contact to communicate."
"I understand." Jim nodded.
"There is a third level of the mind, a level based on relationships, on..." Spock dithered.
"Feeling?" Jim offered hesitantly.
"In a sense," Spock continued. "While we are melded, with your permission, of course, I shall use techniques of the mind to bring you to a state of euphoria and peace. This is not a physical response, like a drug. I will not be directly causing your brain to produce serotonin. Your reaction will be based entirely on perception."
"Sounds like hypnosis."
"It is not hypnosis, because what I would be showing you is only the reality of what is already there, and it will only please you because you wish it to. You will be able to perceive my.... directly percieve all that I..."
"I understand." Jim took his hand. It was still difficult for Spock to say it.
"...feel." Spock's tone at the word--and his eyes, honest and open in a way they had never been before--gave Jim Kirk the sudden sensation that he was about to embark on something beautiful.
Or that an already beautiful journey was about to reach a lagoon of unusually clear and gentle water, where one did not wish to speak.
Jim sat beside his dearest friend and waited patiently. He watched Spock center his spirit and calm himself in preparation for the meld, thinking to himself how lucky he was that everything had, after all, worked out. Spock was back, all of him, even his long-repressed human half. The V'Ger adventure had been a tragedy for some, and they both mourned the loss of those lives, but there was no mistaking the gift it had given to Kirk and Spock.
The Vulcan composed himself and raised one hand, trembling slightly, to Kirk's forehead. "My mind to your mind." The words were accompanied by the caress of gentle fingers at Kirk's forehead and cheek. He tried not to flood Spock with too much emotion as he felt his sweet, familiar presence enter his thoughts, but it was difficult. This was their first meld since V'Ger, since--Gol.
He needn't have worried. The consciousness he felt within his mind, filling his thoughts like a diffusing spray of perfume, mirrored his own in its depth of feeling. Spock had always held back before, melding only to the levels necessary by circumstance. Now Jim could see that before, the Vulcan had been reluctant to expose the full depth of his affection. This was what had driven him to Gol, fear of the intensity of his friendship for Jim. It had seemed beyond what a Vulcan should admit.
Now, it seemed completely right. Jim felt Spock realizing that a friendship like theirs was not something "admitted" to not because it was too strong for Vulcans, but because when a Vulcan became aware of such things within himself it was too holy a thing to speak of. It was natural, and it was also--the way things were. To feel this way. To love a friend.
It wouldn't have made any sense if mentioned to another Vulcan who had never experienced it, anyway.
//You belong here with me,// Jim could not help but think.
//I know, t'hy'la,// Spock's thoughts told him. //I have always known. Forgive me for leaving-- if you can. I was afraid.//
//I forgive you.// Kirk transmitted the warmth he felt in his heart towards the Vulcan, a little clumsy for want of himself being a true telepath. //But Spock, I still sense--fear?//
//It is the deep meld,// Spock explained, telegraphing shyness. //I have never before attempted it.//
//Well, we can discover it together then,// thought Jim. //After all, I've never tried it either,// he added jokingly.
//I will be manouvering around your essence, Jim. I am... concerned that I may hurt you, since our minds must merge so tightly.//
//I have a pretty strong mind, Spock,// Jim sent back reassuringly.
//I do not doubt it. But I am Vulcan.//
//Then go slow.// Jim smiled, and then wondered if Spock was too deep in concentration to percieve enough of the outside world to see it.
//Because of my inexperience--and your human mind--this may not be as effective as we would prefer, at first,// Spock commented, //but I will learn and improve.//
Jim took a deep, slow breath and focused his awareness on the soul of Spock, which he could sense within his mind. He felt the other expand gracefully into each empty nook of his thoughts, leaving no memory lonely, no fear unsoothed.
Melding gives one an overwhelming feeling of being completely *accompanied*, of being "not alone" in the most fundamental sense. Unshielded, it creates and reinforces trust. Jim wondered what more could be beyond this, and opened his heart to his brother-in-arms.
Gradually, like the tuneless melody of an approaching summer breeze, Jim felt his spirits rise in simple joy. He sighed aloud slightly, wafted on some intangible wing into an intense feeling of bliss. He would have sung out on impulse if any melody could have been as beautiful. Somehow this happiness both energized and relaxed him at the same time.
He suddenly wished to show Spock that it was working, and did what he could think of first--sending his friend an image of a yellow-gold cat, big and furry, rubbing its head affectionately against a sleek black dog.
Spock responded to the image with a streak of amusement. //You are marking me?//
//You don't mind, do you?// asked the cat in Jim's voice.
//Never, Jim.// Ah, they were swimming together now, in placid waters of friendship that washed over them without waves.
//Will we drown?// Jim asked.
//Are you inquiring if this diversion is addictive?//
//It's so wonderful. I feel so *sure* of you.//
//You are a Human; I am uncertain,// Spock answered, //but my Vulcan control will protect you from harm.//
//We're floating, aren't we...?//
//Yes, t'hy'la.//
//It feels so good not to have to swim...//
After some time, Spock gradually eased them out of the meld. The sweet feeling in Jim's mind shrank down and buried itself in his heart, and he impulsively reached out and clasped Spock's arm. "Yes, Jim, I am still here," Spock reassured him, amused.
"So you are." Jim licked his lips, which were a little dry.
"I must sleep," said Spock, rising to his feet. "'Til breakfast, Admiral?"
"Yes, Spock, see you in the morning." Kirk showed him out, then shut the door with a yawn. Within twenty minutes he was asleep, and dreaming of lagoons.
END