Midnight

by Omega

Disclaimer: Paramount owns the boys, the ship, anything with Star Trek pinned on its label. I'm only borrowing their toys for a few hours. I promise not to lose them. This has implied m/m. Don't like it, don't read it, okay? Okay.

Series: TOS

Codes: Kirk/Spock, PWP

Rated: PG

Note: Here's a PWP to add to the collection. Comments?

"Midnight"
by Omega

The Enterprise sailed through the star-studded waters of space. Her captain stood on the Observation deck, watching countless stars go by. It wasn't unusual to find him there. There were times when he wondered why he entered Starfleet. When that happened, he always went there. Gazing out into the cosmos gave him both the answer to his question and a sense of peace, of belonging.

This night, however, even the siren song of the stars failed to soothe him. James Kirk was fighting with himself. Again, that wasn't unusual. Despite his super-human performance as captain, he had the weaknesses of the heart like everyone else.

He was well-known for being the resident Casanova onboard the ship. But the women he shared himself with were merely substitutes. Substitutes for the one he didn't believe he would ever have.

Spock. His Vulcan first officer. His science officer. His best friend. The man who owned his soul. Kirk couldn't even remember when he had not loved the Vulcan. He loved everything about him: his logic, his sense of humor, his skill, his knowledge, and his innocence. He loved all of that. He also loved his mind. On rare occasions when they had to meld, Jim was utterly swept away by the sheer beauty of his friend's mind.

*But it's impossible for us to be together. Why would he be interested in me?* Kirk thought to himself, still staring out at the infinite night sky.

*****************

Spock entered the Observation deck, hoping to be alone. Alone so he could deal with the turbulent feelings in his heart. Feelings that not even Vulcan discipline could silence or dismiss.

Spock could not remember ever being this distraught over emotion. Particularly that most elusive, destructive, and joyous emotion of all: love. Love for his human captain. His best friend. His t'hy'la. Even though he was illogical and emotional, Spock felt powerfully drawn to him. Maybe it was his incredible charisma. Or maybe it was because of the unconditional love Jim had always given him. Whatever the reason, Spock had fallen for him and fallen *hard*.

Whenever they worked out in the gym, it took all of Spock's control to resist the urge to draw Kirk to him and never let go. Whenever Kirk was hurt, Spock always sat at his bedside until he was well. He did things just so Kirk would smile that special smile at him.

Spock momentarily closed his eyes, wishing for internal peace. When he opened them, he spied Kirk near the starboard windows. Kirk's eyes were closed tightly, as if he was suffering great pain. Unaware that Spock was watching him, he began to speak out loud.

"Forget it, Kirk. Spock's never gonna be interested in you. He's your best friend and the best XO in the fleet. Content yourself with that. Don't take the risk of ruining your friendship with him."

Spock's breath caught in his throat. Surely he had not heard correctly. But Kirk's silent anguish assured him that he had.

"I love him so much. But it's impossible. I can't risk it. I don't want to lose him."

Spock felt joy enter his heart at these words. *He....loves me. I do not know how he can, but he does.* Spock swallowed hard and made a decision. Kirk could not go on without knowing of Spock's love for him.

Spock gently laid his hand on Kirk's shoulder. "Jim," he said, shaking him a little.

Kirk's head jerked upright, surprise and fear warring for possession of his face. *Oh God, he's been there the whole time. What am I going to do now?*

Spock's eyes dispelled Kirk's fears. Though his face was controlled, as usual, his eyes spoke of a deep, unreasonable joy.

Kirk swallowed hard, mentally groaning. "Yes, Mr. Spock?"

Spock reached up and tenderly caressed his face. "The feelings.....are mutual," he managed to say through the lump in his throat.

Kirk was stunned. For a few minutes he wasn't able to speak. Finally, he asked, "The feelings of love or the feelings of hopelessness?"

Spock answered honestly. "Yes. I have loved you for as long as I have known you. However....."

"You feared rejection," Kirk said, understanding on his face. "Then why did you tell me now?" he asked.

Spock raised an eyebrow. "After I overheard your comments, I could not let these feelings remain unvoiced." After Kirk remained silent for a while, Spock asked fearfully, "Is it too late?"

Kirk laughed a little, shaking his head. "I'm still trying to convince myself that this isn't a dream."

Spock's second eyebrow joined the first. "I see. Perhaps this will." He bowed his head and tenderly kissed his friend, taking his breath away.

Kirk reached up and ran his fingers through Spock's hair. When they finally came up to breathe, Kirk smiled. "It did. So, how do you think everyone's gonna react."

"Right now, I am not concerned with the crew's reactions," Spock said, a decidedly non-Vulcan look in his eyes. He gently pulled his beloved into a warm embrace. They stood there for a long time, gazing at the stars, feeling content and loved for the first time in ages.

You can still find the captain on the Observation deck at midnight. However, you will never find him there alone. His mate is always there with him, chasing away his sorrows, giving him sunshine. That is there they will always be, for all eternity. Together. Forever.

END