Title: What you did to me
Author: Vanasati
Vanasati@aol.comSeries: TOS
Rating: NC-17
Codes: K/S, h/c
Summary: Kirk and Spock are kidnapped. After getting back to the Enterprise they have to deal with the outcome.
Disclaimer: Startrek is the property of Paramount and Viacom. This is only amateur fan fiction, I make no money with it and mean no infringement on their rights.
Warning: This story contains violence and sex beween two men. If that offends you, don't read any further.
WHAT YOU DID TO ME
by Vanasati
*Oh, my head...*
Jim Kirk woke up, remembering with difficulty where he was. He blinked several times, but at first couldn't get a clear picture. He had a headache and felt dizzy. He propped one hand beside him and touched something .... Looking at it he noticed two neatly folded grey blankets, made out of rough fabric.
He blinked again, then slowly, carefully looked around. A small empty room. No windows. Grey walls. In the front wall no door, but a forcefield.
*What the hell ... *
A man curled up beside him, still unconscious. Spock.
As he watched, the Vulcan stirred, then sat up.
"Spock. Are you all right?"
"Yes Captain. I am all right."
"What happened? Where are we?"
Spock frowned.
"We were at Space Station 28, on our way to Doctor McCoy's lecture about his latest research. I remember your saying ..."
"... that I was going to listen not because I'm interested in the theme, but for our friendship. Yes. Uuh, my head ... now I remember those two big figures ... they were walking through the crowd without touching anybody. Everybody seemed to ... avoid them, without really noticing them."
Kirk thought about that for a moment. He had seen them coming right towards him and had a sudden feeling of surreality. He remembered grabbing Spock's arm, then they'd been there, right at his side, pressing a hypo against his neck and he passed out.
Rubbing his forehead, Kirk asked: "How long have we been unconscious?"
The Vulcan's answer came as promptly as ever: "Three hours, twenty-one point six minutes."
"They attacked us in the middle of that crowd, Spock. Someone must have noticed that. They should've been caught by the Security Team right away. So what the hell happened back there and where are we now?"
"Obviously we are not longer on Space Station 28. I do not know where we are now, though...." Spock tilted his head, listening to the distant noises that his ears were picking up, "...this seems to be a ship of some kind."
Kirk got to his feet and stood still for one moment. Yes. He could feel the characteristic hum under his feet. Yes, definitely a ship.
"We need to get out of here. Let's see what we can do."
Both men began to inspect the walls, knocking at them, searching for hollow sounds and the tiniest weakness that would be helpful for an escape. After passing every inch of the bulkheads, Kirk turned to his First Officer.
"What's your analysis, Mr. Spock?"
"They seem to be solid. This is not a material I have seen before."
The Vulcan turned and very cautiously went to the forcefield to look at it. He moved his hand near the blue glow. At about ten centimeters distance he could feel the energy driving him back.
"Captain, this is a very strong forcefield. I advise you not to touch it. It will surely cause severe damage." Kirk was watching him impatiently.
"So what is your conclusion?"
"For the moment I do not see how to escape from here. Maybe we shall have a chance if someone comes to talk to us."
"You are not very helpful, Mr. Spock."
Spock raised an eyebrow and Kirk sighed, turning to the forcefield himself now to look outside. The captain saw another room like the one they were in, but with a large column in the middle. When he noticed the chains hanging at one side, his face went a little paler. For the first time, since he woke up, he felt uneasy, the slightest hint of fear creeping up from the back of his mind.
He felt Spock standing at his side.
"This is not a very ... pleasant sight, Captain."
Kirk turned and studied the lean face beside him. "No, indeed not. ... This *is* real, isn't it? I mean ... am I having some sort of nightmare? Would you pinch me, please?"
Spock frowned slightly. "I assure you, that you are not dreaming. If this were a dream I must be dreaming too ... and Vulcans do not dream. Besides, I do not think 'pinching' a superior officer is an appropriate behavior."
A little smile flickered across Kirk's face before he became serious again.
"So why are we here? Who the hell are these people and what do they want from us?"
Before Spock could reply, the door of the outer room opened and in came three men. They were two heads higher than Spock, wearing only short black trousers, their skin looking like old leather, their heads without hair, with yellow eyes and absolutely no expression on their faces.
Kirk straightened his back. "I am Captain..."
/We know who you are./
The disruption was directly in his mind, the touch cold, totally lacking in emotion. That rude intrusion into his mind made Kirk feel like an insect under a microscope, unworthy of any privacy. The fear grew to a hard ball in his stomach. He glanced over at Spock and knew from the raised eybrow, that the Vulcan had heard them in his mind too. Kirk cleared his throat and tried to concentrate on the conversation.
"Well then .. who are you? Why are we imprisoned here?"
They simply stared at him and Spock for some minutes. Then again that cold touch:
/Step back to the wall and do not move./
The two at the sides raised phaser-guns and pointed at the two men. Kirk and Spock exchanged a glance, then stepped back. The third in the middle pressed a button in a device and the forcefield disappeared. Kirk saw his opportunity, but before he could really think it to the end, not having moved already, there was again the voice:
/Do not move, or you both will be dead./
The third one placed two bowls and a pitcher at the floor, then reenganged the forcefield. The three of them turned around and went out.
As the door closed behind them, Spock and Kirk moved to the bowls and knelt down beside them. Spock took one bowl in his hands, sniffed, then looked at the pitcher. "Water, Captain, and some sort of vegetables. Did you notice the cold air outside, when the forcefield went down? They have set the temperature in here on earth standard. It does not look like they want us to die."
Kirk frowned at him. "Two minutes ago, I thought that it sounded very much like they'd kill us without hesitation. They're telepaths."
"Obviously they are."
Kirk stood up again and began pacing the room. "No explanation. What the hell do they want from us? Spock ... I've never seen anything like that column out there on a Federation station or vessel."
Kirk stared at the Vulcan, as if forcing an explanation out of him. "This is ridiculous. We were among a crowd and they didn't even notice them. And who are they? Have you ever seen them or heard of them?"
"No Captain. They are alien to me too."
Moments later, Kirk came, sitting down beside him. "Well, maybe we should eat something. We don't know what's going to happen and when they'll bring food again."
He took one bowl and started eating with his fingers. Spock followed his example and both finished the vegetabels. They were not bad, tasting a bit like cauliflower and peas. The water was cool and fresh.
After that, Kirk began pacing again, trying not to repeat the big WHY in his head loudly again. He didn't want to annoy Spock with his anger, impatience and ... fear. He felt helpless and didn't like it at all.
Suddenly the light outside was turned down to a diffused glow, and they realised for the first time that they had no light in here with them. "Hey!" Kirk took two steps toward Spock and bumped into him, for the Vulcan had also come in Kirk's direction.
"I am sorry, Captain."
"It's okay, Spock. Now, what does that mean?"
The Vulcan's deep voice answered: "I suppose that we are meant to sleep now."
"Sleep?" Kirks voice rose up, full of anger. "How could I sleep now?" He took some deep breaths, then, realising there was nothing he could do instead, he turned in.
"Well, for we have no light and can't do anything else ... seems logical. Where are these blankets ... ah there."
He took one himself and gave the other to Spock. They laid down side by side and tried to get as comfortable as possible on the hard and cold floor.
***
They must have been sleeping. Suddenly the light flashed on in the room outside and both were instantly awake. The three aliens came in again. The one in the middle, obviously the leader, gazed at Spock.
/Back to the wall. Do not move./
Then his eyes moved to Kirk.
/Come outside. Slowly. When you attack me, he will die./
Kirk *knew* he'd better do what he was told. This voice in his head somehow made it very clear that the alien meant what he said. The Captain stepped out the cell slowly as the leader dis- and reengaged the forcefield. Instantly he became aware of the chill outside here. He could see his breath steaming away in white clouds. While the first guard still aimed at Spock, the other one placed his back against the column and chained his hands and ankles. The chains were as cold as ice, they seemed to burn his flesh and he started to shiver.
Jim felt his fear rising, making it hard to breathe. *Don't show them* he told himself and gritted his teeth. But he couldn't help but follow every movement of the leader, who stepped in front of him and held up a small silver device. He placed it at Kirk's temple and took a second one in his hand. Then he did something with the controls ...
Pain floated through Jim's body. He gasped involuntarily, then tried to avoid a reaction and once more clenched his teeth. Again that pain, and again ... Kirk's body writhed, his breathing got ragged with the effort not to cry out.
In the cell Spock had watched until they placed that device at Kirk's temple. When the Vulcan saw the little metal square, he recognized it as an Orion neural-stimulator and sudden fear rose up in him. *Jim ...* When he saw the pain on his friend's face and noticed how hard he tried to withstand it, he turned around and sat down, with his back to the wall. Jim would not want him to watch his torture, nor would he want him to see his defeat. But he could not help but notice the sounds from outside, the moans that grew louder and finally the cries. He closed his eyes and clenched his hands into fists.
***
After an seemingly endless time he heard the voice in his head:
/Get up and go back to the wall again./
He did and they released Kirk. The Captain stumbled down on the floor inside the cell. The leader gazed at Spock.
/Do not comfort him, or you will be punished./
Then they left and the light was turned down to a diffuse glow.
With three big steps Spock was at his Captain's side. "Jim." He touched Kirk's shoulder. Jim winced, then tried to sit up. He trembled with cold and weakness. He ran his hands down his face, then looked up into Spock's eyes. He could see the sorrow and pain in those dark eyes, though the Vulcan's face was unexpressive as ever. "It's okay Spock. They haven't killed me."
He turned around, wrapping himself in one blanket and closed his eyes. Spock understood that he wanted to deal with the violation alone. So he quietly lay down beside him. After some time he shifted, laying a bit closer to share the warmth with his Captain.
Jim couldn't sleep. His muscles hurt like after a long session in the gym, the cold didn't make that any better and his emotions changed between helpless anger and fear. When he realised Spock was shivering too, he let him move close and they finally got warm enough to rest.
***
The lights were turned up and both men jumped. The leader and his guards came in. This time Spock was called out. Jim had to remain at the back wall while they removed Spock's tunic and chained him. They just left him there and went out. Spock tried to break free instantly. But after some effort he realised that his Vulcan strength was useless this time.
Kirk stood inside the cell right behind the forcefield, watching him with fading hope. He remembered the chill outside quite well and knew Spock was already suffering. When he saw the Vulcan close his eyes, concentrating on withstanding the cold, it was his turn to go away, sitting behind the wall, letting his friend manage out there alone. He had never felt so helpless in his life.
After some time without a sound from outside he couldn't help but look for Spock, who was standing at the column, eyes still closed, shaking. Finally they released him, pushing him back into the cell. Kirk got the same message as Spock did before:
/Do not comfort him, or you will be punished./
Kirk's anger rose, spilling over before he could think.
"You fucking bastards, of course I will help him. What the hell are you doing here? Talk to me!"
The last words he yelled against the already closed door. He sat down beside Spock, who leaned against the wall, knees up to his chest, his arms clasped around his knees. Kirk wrapped them both in the blankets and held him close to warm him up. "Hang on Spock," he whispered "the Enterprise will find us. Can't be long anymore." He clung to that thought, not daring to give up hope. Until now, neither of them were seriously injured, but there was the threat /You will be punished/ circling round his head again and again.
Later, only the guards came in with food and left without a word. They ate quietly, neither of them knowing what to talk about.
****
When they came in again with the leader Kirk already knew it would be his turn. Again, Spock stood helplessly by the wall while Kirk was chained, the device placed at his temple. This time the pain was worse. Soon he forgot about pride and just gave in, fighting the chains, screaming, sobbing.
Spock stood inside, eyes closed, reaching out for Jim's mind along the link which had formed between them during their former mind-melds. When he reached him, pain flooded him and he gasped. Through the mist of pain Kirk recognized him.
*Spock...*
*I am here, Jim* He tried to shield Kirk from the pain, creating a wall between Jim's body and their joined minds.
Suddenly there was another force, striking Spock back with brutality.
/No! Dare not try that again!/
Spock's eyes snapped open and he gasped, then moaned when he heard Kirk scream again. He buried his face in his hands.
When they finally released Kirk, the human slumped down. They put him in the cell and left, again warning Spock not to help him. But Spock went to Jim, touching him lightly. This time Jim welcomed his help. He was still in pain, a flood of fire running through his muscles and nerves and he trembled with the effort to fight it down.
"Spock ... you shouldn't ..."
"Jim, I will not let you suffer alone. I am here to help you through."
He placed his hands at the human's melding points and initiated a light healing trance. Soon the pain faded away, but the effort left them both worn out and tired.
***
Jim Kirk lost all feeling of time. There were no minutes or hours to live, only the times when one of them was punished outside, the other one helplessly watching from inside the cell. They didn't hide behind the wall any longer, for each of them knew that the eye-contact with his friend was the only thing to hold on to. Every time the pain became worse until Jim couldn't think anymore, nor scream, his voice rough and his throat sore, only looking into Spock's eyes, clinging at the black gaze that told him *I am here Jim. Do not let go.*
When they came for Spock, it was the other way around. He hung on the column, shivering, his teeth chattering, but he never looked away from the hazel eyes that held him up and told him *I am here Spock. Don't give up. I need you.*
Afterwards they just crawled to each other, curling up together, feeling the presence of the other, glad to be both alive. Yet.
When the guards brought food, they ate, knowing that they would need all the energy they could get. But they were getting weaker each time of punishment. Spock started to cough, fighting for air, and he could not stop shivering all the time. He had no energy left to shield Kirk from pain after the torture, so Jim had to stand it alone. The last time Spock tried to help him, Kirk pushed away his hands, not wanting Spock to waste energy on him which the Vulcan probably would need to survive himself.
When the aliens came for one of them, they could hardly stand up and walk out. The last time Kirk went out on his knees. Afterwards, he knew that he could not survive much longer. And with that came the knowledge that Spock would certainly die also, with no one to warm him up. That thought was the only thing that kept Jim alive. *He will die without me. I must live.* This mantra the only stability in the turmoil of pain.
***
One time after they had come for Spock, Jim woke up, realizing with horror that the Vulcan in his arms was *not* shivering any longer, eyes closed, hardly breathing. Jim realised that he must have closed his eyes too, his exhaustion too big to stay awake. Panic and guilt rose in him, for leaving Spock alone. He yelled: "Spock! Open your eyes." No reaction from the Vulcan. He gripped his shoulders, shaking him, begging: "Spock, don't die. Don't you dare die in my arms here. Spock! I need you. Don't leave me alone." With one hand Kirk brushed Spock's cheek, searching for the melding-points, then closed his eyes and reached for Spock with his mind. He went along the link until he found a *presence*, barely alive. *Spock. It's me, Jim. Come back with me, please.*
*...*
*Yes, I am here. Come on.*
*Jim... so cold ... can not ...*
*I know, my friend. I am here to warm you up. I won't let you go, listen to me, Spock.* Kirk began rubbing Spock's arms, chest and legs, wrapping his arms around him, rubbing his back. *Don't leave me. I need you. Spock!*
Finally the Vulcan opened his eyes. Jim felt an immense relief floating through him and smiled at his friend with tears in his eyes.
"Jim." Spock said very quietly, then coughed again.
The door swushed open and the leader came in. Jim looked up, and instantly panic rose up in him, nearly suffocating him. "No! Not again! He will die. Please..." He begged and didn't give it a thought. "Please ..."
The leader looked at him. /We have come to release you. You have been useful, so we let you live./
"Useful?" Kirk could hardly get the meaning of the word.
/We learned a great deal about the concept of Love. You shall go home now./
"Wait!" the word came out a hoarse croack and Kirk cleared his throat. Somehow, somewhere in him something of his old self came to life again.
"You owe me ... an explanation!"
Yellow eyes held hazel ones, an alien mind digging into a still self-confident human one.
/You are brave. You shall have your explanation. We met your kind some time ago. We could not understand your values for we do not understand emotions. We do not have emotions. So we decided to examine the strongest emotion for a better understanding. You showed us that Love is indeed the strongest emotion. It is above Fear, it is even strong enough to overcome death ... sometimes. For we do not have emotions, we do not fear anything. For we do not fear anything, we die. Now we know something stronger than death. This may be useful. Therefore you shall live./
Jim's exhaustion was to great to react at once, but something was odd here... but before he could quite formulate the thought, the alien leader stepped inside, and a hypo was pressed against Kirk's neck.
***
Kirk woke up, looking into blue eyes full of concern.
"Jim. How do you feel?"
"Bones ... Spock! Is he ..."
"He's over here Jim. He'll be fine. He's suffering from hypothermia and pneumonia but I treated him and he's already gone into a healing trance. What about you, Jim?"
Jim tried to concentrate, frowned, and shrugged. "I feel like a shuttle crashed down on me. How did we come here?"
"How did you come here? Where have you been during the last five days? We searched that whole damned station over and over, there was no sign of you. They were about to stop the search when you suddenly appeared in our transporter room."
Jim closed his eyes. Five days. Only five days. "I'll tell you later, Bones. Just too tired to talk."
"Yeah, that's ok. If you wanna talk later, I'm right over there."
McCoy looked down at his friend who closed his eyes and fell asleep instantly. He sighed and turned toward the Vulcan, who was lying in the next bed, in deep trance. The readings showed a very high stress level besides the other injuries. Jim had a bad muscular ache, and - which caused most pain - an inflammation of his nerves. McCoy could hardly wait for an explanation. But first he would have to do exactly that - wait.
***
Two weeks later.
After the reports of Captain Kirk and Commander Spock, several ships had searched for an alien vessel in the sector, but without any result. They gave a detailed description how their kidnappers had looked like and warned other ships to be alert if they should meet them.
Dr. McCoy had finally talked both his friends into telling him what happened. But they gave only the facts, Jim avoiding talking about his feelings, Spock pretending he did not have any. After several days in sickbay the doctor had no reason to keep them from their work any longer. McCoy was not happy with the psych readings he got from Jim, but couldn't do anything about it until the captain showed signs that justified further investigation.
The Enterprise was now on a trip to cartograph a new star system, and that should not be too much stress for both the Captain and his First Officer. McCoy hoped that time would help Jim and Spock recover.
***
For Captain Kirk life got even more complicated when he had that dream, a week ago. The nightmare had taken him back to that little cell, and he once more held an unconscious Spock in his arms, feeling him die. Once more Jim dragged into the Vulcan's mind, searching for the remaining life, begging: *Don't leave me. I need you. Spock!* But this time the repetition came out differently: *Don't leave me. I need you. Spock! Do you hear me? I love you!*
He woke up panting and trembling, his heart pounding. And he realised that his whole body and soul ached for Spock. To hold him, to feel him alive and breathing in his arms, to kiss him ... Captain James T. Kirk of the Starship Enterprise sat in his bed, terrified with the knowledge of being in love with his First Officer.
***
The day after the dream he tried very hard not to act differently from any other time before. When he met Spock on the bridge under protection of their work, he managed quite well at first. But then he caught himself lost in listening to Spock's voice and after the Vulcan left and headed to his station, Kirk noticed that he couldn't remember a word Spock had said. He just wished his friend would go on talking so that he could listen to that deep voice for the rest of the day.
When they went to lunch he walked very straight, avoiding the touch of their shoulders, what they often did when walking together through the ship's corridors. In the canteen he pushed his food from one end of the plate to the other, but couldn't get down a single bite. He noticed the looks Spock and McCoy gave him, but didn't dare meet their eyes for he knew his feelings would be written all over his face if he did. One time his knee touched Spock's under the table, and this common touch nearly undid him. He jumped up and run out of the canteen, stammering hurried words about having forgotten something...
He came up with poor excuses for not playing chess with Spock. The third evening after the dream the Vulcan waited for him in the corridor in front of his quarters. When Jim noticed him standing there, he almost turned around and ran. Then he forced himself to ask in a normal voice:
"How can I help you, Mr. Spock?"
The Vulcan raised an eyebrow at him. "Would you like to play chess with me this evening?"
Kirk thought about sitting opposite of Spock, watching his face, his graceful hands moving the figures ... and then nearly panicked when feeling his sudden arousal.
"I'm sorry, Spock, I have .. a headache. Not tonight." With that, Jim went in his cabin, the doors closing in front of the Vulcan's nose. Once inside, Kirk slumped on the bed, burying his hot face in his hands. How could that be? He asked himself for the thousandth time. How could he suddenly be in love with his best friend?
After four nights of confessing his love to his friend in his dreams he finally allowed himself to stop searching for hows and whys. He knew perfectly well that there was no *suddenly* at all. He knew now, why the aliens had chosen a Starship Captain and his First Officer to examine Love. He had loved Spock for so long that he couldn't think of a time before it, but never let the knowledge come through ... until now.
He knew that the Vulcan was disturbed by his behavior. He knew he would have to explain himself. He knew he should tell Spock about his feelings. But ... how? What, if Spock would give him again one of this lectures about *Vulcan's do not have feelings like that*? Hearing his First Officer say "I am sorry, Jim." and then probably leave the ship for not disturbing his Captain any further? The Enterprise without Spock at his side? Impossible!
So he tried to act normally, but he got more desperate every day.
***
Spock was sitting in his quarters, crouched over his firepot. He tried to calm down, to meditate, but his efforts had no success. He was thinking again of the strange behaviour of his Captain. For the last week Kirk had avoided his First Officer in every way he could manage without failing his duties. And, to make it worse, the Vulcan felt that Jim was shielding his mind like Spock himself had taught him at the beginning of their friendship.
Kirk was more closed up than he had been since their friendship grew close all those years ago. Spock was frustrated and worried about that. He could not help but think it must be somehow his fault. Another disturbing thing was the fact that he missed the companionship of his captain, that it hurt so much to be shut out without an explanation.
Spock got up. Straightening his tunic he walked out of his quarters and headed for Kirk's. He would do whatever had to be done to make Jim forgive him.
***
Jim was sitting at his desk, rummaging through a stack of files when the door chimed.
"Come."
He looked up to see Spock hesitantly coming inside. The Vulcan came over in front of his desk, then stood still, looking at him with those dark eyes. Kirk swallowed. He felt his heart beating faster and took a deep breath.
"Mr. Spock, what can I do for you?"
The Vulcan folded his hands behind his back.
"I am sorry for the intrusion, but ... Jim, would you tell me why you are doing this to me?"
The human felt his throat tighten. There. This was the moment he was scared of since that 'dream of truth'. He tried to postpone the very moment, where he must tell Spock, what would probably drive him away. He stood up himself, holding the Vulcan's gaze.
"Doing what to you, Spock?"
"You have avoided me for 5.6 days now and you have raised your shields and shut me out. Jim ... I have felt you in my mind for 3.8 years now, you must know that our sharing of minds formed a link between us. It was that link what made us survive and it grew to a ... bond." Spock paused a moment then added in a quiet voice: "I am ... lonely, abandoned. I miss you, Jim."
Kirk caught his breath. He suddenly saw something in the dark eyes, though Spock's face was still expressionless. For the first time in '5.6 days' he lowered his shields ... and felt a silver current leaping into his mind, caressing ...
Jim's eyes widened slightly and he couldn't help himself but leaning into that current to get more of that caress. With the understanding that there indeed *was* more he backed off, not wanting to frighten the Vulcan and still not believing his own judgment.
But what he got was enough to convince Kirk, that he had to tell Spock ... now.
His voice unsteady he said:
"Spock... five days ago, and every night since then, I had a dream ... I dreamed about you dying in my arms in that horrible place ... I could make you turn and come back with me by ... telling you ..."
Jim's voice broke and he could not get the words out. He lowered his eyes and stared at his hands, which were pressed palms down against the desk to steady him.
Then he heard Spock's voice, only a whisper:
"... that you love me."
***
Kirk looked up and saw ... wonder and understanding in Spock's eyes and something else.
He took a shaky breath and nodded. "Yes."
Spock nodded too. "And I you." His voice was calm, steady and reassuring, wiping away Jim's fear, just so.
A thought passed Kirk's mind: *I should have known. They saw it in his mind too!* A smile began to brighten his face and he saw the answering smile in Spock's eyes. Kirk's relief and joy were nearly too big to bear, and suddenly Spock's first question echoed through his mind (...why you are doing this to me?). He felt something inside him ease and his smile turned into a grin.
"So, don't you want to know what *you* did to me?" Jim lowered his voice and with a seductive look came slowly around the desk, giving each point with a step forward ...
Step.
"What you did to me, let your graceful fingers dancing across your board at your station, giving me the feeling of your fingers on my skin without making it come true?..."
Step.
"What you did to me, sitting beside me at lunch, your knee touching mine under the table, driving me mad with wanting, but knowing that I could not embrace you in public?...."
Step.
"What you did to me whenever you bent over your station, showing me that beautiful backside of yours and I could not even get near you without embarrassing myself in front of the crew?...."
Step.
"What you did to me, talking to me with that velvet voice, caressing my inner self and having to stay in Captain's mode the whole time while wanting you so badly?..."
... until he stood right in front of the Vulcan, their noses nearly touching.
Spock didn't dare move the slightest bit, his eyes never letting go of Jim's eyes, his breath growing faster.
Jim went on, his voice now only a whisper. "I see you, Spock, as if it were the first time." He raised his hand to Spock's temple, touching him with the tip of his middle finger, a feather light touch, his palm's coolness nearly touching Spock's cheek.
"You are so beautiful." He ran his finger down Spock's cheek, ever so slowly round the full lips, up over the other cheek, across his forehead, over one of those incredible eyebrows, then from the base to the tip of one pointed ear and again down the other side. He let his finger rest at the side of Spock's neck, feeling the rapid pulse there.
The human felt heat rising up in his stomach. His eyes were wide open, so was his mind, both glowing with love. Spock moaned softly and closed his eyes. Kirk's finger stroked gently down the neck over the collarbone to the shoulder, around the shoulder, then slid down one long, slender arm to the left hand.
It rested at the back of Spock's hand, still only a feather light touch, then moved around to the palm, went up again, this time at the inner side of the Vulcan's arm to the armpit, then down the Vulcan's side until it came to another hold at Spock's waist.
By now, barely touched yet, Spock was breathing heavily, his heart hammering in his side, his lips parted. He closed his hands to fists with the effort not to move. He could feel the human's hand trembling slightly at his side. A shiver ran through the Vulcan and another moan escaped his mouth.
Suddenly Jim's hands were on his chest, and he opened his eyes, looking into hazel ones, full of desire.
"Why didn't you come here 5.6 days earlier?" Jim whispered, then leaned forward, and kissed Spock ever so softly.
Spock wanted to embrace him, to pull his Captain close and never let go, but Jim stepped back.
They looked at one another, both panting, trembling. When Jim finally spoke, his voice was hoarse.
"This is what you did to me. I love you."
They held each other's gaze for another eternity, then Spock stepped forward, took Jim into his arms, and they were kissing, open mouthed, hungry, breathtaking kisses.
While kissing Jim directed the Vulcan over to his bed. He started to undress Spock, the tunic, the shirt ... there he stopped, again stepping back to look at his beautiful friend, the slender strong arms, the muscles beneath his soft, slight green skin, the hard nipples. He leaned forward and kissed one of those nipples.
Hearing Spock's soft: "Oh!" he nearly came. He caught his breath, then kissed the other nipple.
"Jim..." Spock's voice was hoarse with desire like Kirk had never heard it before. It sent ripples of pleasure down Jim's spine, making him shiver.
He nibbled at one of those nice pointed ears, beginning at the tip, working his way down behind the ear and down the neck to the shoulders. His hands were on Spock's chest, still caressing the hard nipples.
While kissing his way up to Spock's mouth he breathed "Yes, my friend?"
Spock's hands were on his waist now. He started tugging at Jim's tunic to remove it and Jim stopped kissing his Vulcan long enough to get rid of his shirt. Then he embraced Spock and at the sensation of skin on skin, both men moaned aloud.
Kirk felt his cock pressing against Spock's, moving his hips closer, then suddenly couldn't stand it anymore to have *anything* between them. He hastily removed his trousers and boots, so did Spock, and finally they laid together on the bed, side by side, Kirk's hands roaming all over Spock's body. He felt Spock's hands on him, too, driving him mad with wanting.
He reached down and closed his hand around Spock's cock. Spock hissed and arched his head back.
"Jim ... please."
When Jim heard the trembling voice, he bent down and took Spock in his mouth, licking and kissing the long shaft, silk on steel, savouring the sensation to have Spock in his mouth. *So hot* he thought with wonder. Spock began to thrust his hips against Kirk's mouth. Then Kirk sucked, hard, again, again ... and Spock came with crying his name out loud, and Jim swallowed the sweet liquor that seemed to be the best he ever had tasted in his life.
While Spock's breath slowed down a bit, he kissed his way up the Vulcan's chest, through the rough hair there, until he reached his mouth again.
"I just can't stand it any longer." Kirk whispered against the other's mouth, his still painfully hardness rubbing on the Vulcan's hips. "Spock ..."
Spock turned, licking and kissing his way down over the smooth chest, stopping at each nipple, then again at the navel, until Jim was moaning aloud.
"Spock, please ... I .. ooh ..." He involuntarily rocked his hips, until Spock gripped them, holding them tight. The Vulcan finally took Kirk's cock in his mouth, not playing any longer, sucking hard until Kirk went over the edge and came into the hot, welcoming mouth.
When he truly realized his surrounding again he was lying in Spock's arms, his head at the Vulcan's chest. He lifted his head and looked directly in black eyes, full of love.
"Jim."
"Spock."
Jim smiled one of his golden smiles that made Spock's heart jump. Still smiling he whispered: "I hope very much that you know what you did to me tonight. For I want you to repeat it, slowly, leisurely, hot, hard, again, and again, and again ..."
Spock closed his mouth with a hungry kiss, and again they made love.
The End