Title: Is Your Belly Hollow?

Author: TripFan

Rating: PG

Pairing: Reed/Archer

Disclaimers: Lt. Malcolm Reed, Capt. Jonathan Archer, and the Enterprise TV series, are the property of Paramount Pictures. This is a work of fan fiction. No profit is being made from the publication of this story. So there. ;-P

This story contains no explicit male/male sexuality, but does deal with themes that some readers may find upsetting (alcoholism, child abuse). If these issues are sensitive ones for you, please, go back and read my gentler stories: "Keep Your Shirt On" and "Taking Care of You." Thank you :)

Is Your Belly Hollow?
by TripFan

Armoury Officer's Log. PERSONAL AND CONFIDENTIAL. Third entry.

"Of the time I spent on Terra Nova as a hostage, I remember only a few things clearly. Pain has a way of blotting out memories...or of sharpening them. The memories I do have, I see as through a focused camera lens: edges distinct, colours bright.

"I remember one of my Novan captors asking me, 'Is your belly hollow?' I was not really hungry--I would have preferred to be taken to the nearest lavatory--but I ate. It might not have been polite to do otherwise. Moreover, I was losing blood from a gunshot wound, and I did feel a bit faint. Under the circumstances, the food could only do me good.

"Then I remember--the pain. The bullet in my leg must have struck a nerve. I don't know how I ever managed to sleep, but I dreamt...and in my dreams, my legs, my arms, my entire body throbbed with pain. I was a boy again. I was in my bedroom, trying not to cry. That bastard had left bright red welts all over me from the latest of his beatings. Then, as he did almost every night, he'd locked himself in the study with a bottle of gin.

"I hoped one night he would drink himself to death, and leave Mum and me alone. Failing that, I wanted to kill him--that bastard who was not worthy of my mother, not worthy to be called my stepfather. I wanted my real father with me now....

"I remember bits and pieces filtering through...music from a flute, the sound of rocks falling...then footsteps, and familiar voices. Captain Archer had come back for me! The captain spoke my given name, softly, and touched me gently on the arms. There was a care and concern in his eyes I hadn't seen in anyone since my father died.

"Looking back on my life, I realise 'my belly has been hollow' for most of it. I have been hungry. Not necessarily in a sexual sense-- though I do feel that sort of attraction to other men. I have hungered for caring, for concern. For love.

"I believe I may have found that again--if only for an instant--with Captain Jonathan Archer."

Lt. Malcolm Reed put the pen down. His vision was already blurring with long-unshed tears. Soon, the colors and edges of the ink itself blurred as Malcolm allowed the tears, at last, to fall.

But only for an instant. He wiped his eyes, put in eyedrops to remove the redness, then was off again to the Armoury for target practice. Whether throwing a plasma grenade, or firing a phase pistol set on "kill," Lt. Reed always saw That Bastard's face at the center of the bull's eye.

It helped to fill the hollowness inside.

THE END